Great Falls tribune. [volume], December 11, 1886, Image 1

About Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1885-1890

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GREAT FALLS ''TRIBU NE
VOL, 2. GREAT FALLS, MONTANA TERRITORY, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, 18868 NO 30
TICKLING TOUCHES.
Yesterday afternoon the editor handed
me a note addressed in care of the TRI
1rUNE. The superscription was in a round,
plain hand, and upon sawing open the
envelope with a knife blade, patterned
after Henry Ward Beecher's despair, dis
covered the following:
GREAT FALLs, Dec., 10th, 1886.
Y. H. TIrs, Dear Sir:
To you as the story-writer for the
TRIiUNE, I take the liberty of appealing
for help and advice in regard to the best
method of becoming a story-writer. I
young, poor, have considerable imagina
tion, a fair education and a strong desire 1
to get into print. " Enclosed please tind
postage stamp. Please answer as soon as
convenient,1
Your admirer
and Humble Serv't.,
G.I. M.
For a brief moment. surprise overpow
ered me. but calm judgment soon inter
veined and I saw at once that duty demand
ed an effort on my part to rescue from a
horrible fate a bright, ambitious, but mis- K
guided youth. A Dixon's graphite and a
yard of paper were immediately called
into requisition and to G. I. M3. was the
follovinug wrttien:
1)DEAR G. I. M:
Your note of the 10th inst, informs me
of your mistaken ambition and rash desire.
Ile warned while yet the warm blood of
impulsive youth courses in your veins! t
Don't do it, that is, don't ever even try to
write a story unless you can depend to a
dead certainty on the early demise of a '
maiden aunt who will constitute you sole c
heir to a fortune. In such an event the
acquirement of a fortune will turn the t
course of your ambition into other channels.
Let me beseech you not to blast your life's
happiness with any such delusion, for in
days to come you will discover your sad
mistake when, alas too late! When early
silver hairs will steal in among the vigor
ous, like a defeated candidate after elec- ti
tion into a bar-room. When as you be
come sensitive to the meaning of peoples'
every day actions you willhave discovered tl
that your approach toward a knot of peo- ]
ple will be the signal for a discontinuance tl
of conversation.
Wlhen the hitth4n holdSe your 'srae]
monthly allowances of meat in one hand a.
,ill your silver in the other re-awrakens the c1
::ction of his blooded handed mechanism.
When the cigar and tobacco dealer, who tl
.-u"es you approaching from afar vigo,',ru ýt
ly apple t!:- !ther duster to ils nr- .
cotic merchandise and as you enter is 1t
studiously engaged in straightening up bi
that significant legend "NO TRUST." a
When the festive cowboy undisguisedly
'scorns you with bowlegged sneers, know- h
ing that though busted, you are no bron- in
eho buster. When the grocxeryman sh
hands you over the counter candles in re- fr
turn for your last and lonesome quarter p
and then with a wink at the woodsawyer
in the corner flippantly' refers to the au
thor's mid-night oil. When the landlady
takes savage satisfaction in referring to
your 3ISS as litter and warns, her freckle pr
faced daughter against such "worthless y(
things as them writers." When the pie
bald cayuse fears lest you should describe
his calico appearance id some tale of law
lessness. When even the dogs shun you te,
afraid that you may quote "curs of low at
degree" against them. When the editor inl
jabs punctuation marks clean through re,
your copy and the typos make sport of an
your big words. When the fairest flowers an
of your rhetorical climax are so crushed tal
and demoralized that you can't tell them fi"
from a funeral notice in Sanscrit. When me
the very word which exactly expressed to 1
your meaning and was written most tur
plainly comes out in print transposed and $41
ridiculous. When with your hand upon in,
your heart you can honestly and confi- wb
dently assure yourself that the above and dis
many more as yet untold trials can be thr
borne by you with heroic equanimity then MI.
commence out of the fullness of your en- abo
thusiasm on your first story, utterly dis- "br
regarding, place, plot or punctuation. You a at
say you are young; thats one point in gar
your favor, before this reaches you, some for
other and more remunerative ambition Jiu
may have occurred to you. You are bus
poor; another fortunate circumstance on bar
your side, for unless you are much en- vide
amored of poverty, story writing will cig.
soon show you that condition in its most bun
attenuated form. "Considerable imagina- thie
tion." Good! Apply your imaginative tor
powers to some scheme. The ameliora- still
tion of the morals of story writers, for not
instance, give your fancy full play upon his
the charitable instincts of benevolent, old He
ladies, secure the treasurership and then day
come tome for further advice. "A fair H
edacton;" very handy thing to have, get Ceni
some more of it. Read as much as you
can comfortably understand and remem
d ber-Story-writers don't read, hav'nt got
time. As for getting into print, there are
hundreds of ways to do that; if nothing
else suggests itself to your adolescent mind,
d put coal tar on the editor's door knob and
let him catch you at it.
I found your postage stamps first thing
and it proves to my mind conclusively
that as yet you have not taken the fatal
e misstep. Story-writers are never, except
on rare occasions, possessed of stamps
that is one thing it is foolish to buy so long
as they may be obtained by judicious lbor
e rowing just before the mail goes, out.
1 Happy is the conviction that at least once
in a sadly misspent life a worthy duty
has been conscientiously performed to a
deluded fellow mortal.
I am most truly yours,
Y. II. TIMs.
lie hadn't been around for over a week.
Perched up on the chair back, his muddy
feet on the seat, he coughed one of those
deep down, far in the hereafter coughs
which make strong men shudder. "Got
an awful cold," he commncenced, "'.est got
back from Benton, an got this cold on the
road." "Yes, its cold riding up the river,"
we reply. "Taint thaint that. taint that; got this
cold from two drummers, travlin' men,
by 'maginashun. You see the front inside
the coach was full o' bundles an boxes an I
sit between the drmumners. One'sfrom St.
Louis an' the other from Sheecago. The
St. Louis man hears that we got plenty
coal here in Great Falls an' bein' in the 1
stove business come up to sell sum. I I
thort he was the slickest talker I ever
heerd. lHe started out with 'mron mine
told all about furnaces an' smelter, then
got onto the foundry racket an' bed jist
got a goin' on the new patint heaters
when it come noon. After dinner he let 1
loose agin and talked base burners an' pat
tint heaters till I got warm'd up so that if I
I hadn't know'd 'twase'nt more'n two
weeks from Christmas I'd a swore 'twas
the middle 'o August, whew! wasn't I hot, t
jest a bilin'. The other fellow he got in t
the game an' open'd the play with a hand
on ice chists an' 'frigerators, then switched i
1',k4 t~n Minnesoty an Idiuduy, told us t
about the lakes an' ice cuttn', then he a
changed his play an' read us a few lines
on I)akota blizzards an' When I got out on
the other side the ri'-~ I was froze clear I
to the b,:n,, an' after I got thaw'd out a
found i'd the durndest worst cold I ever a
ketched." IIe gathered the folds of his s
buffalo overcoat around him, coughed up c
a cork insole and slowly crawled out. At hi
5 o'clock in the evening when everybody tt
had on overcoats and gloves, he was walk- c
ing down the middle of the road in his o
shirtsleeves, singing clear and loud,"I come p
from old Missouri, I,m all the way from s1
Pike," I_
A Desirable Christmas Present.
A copy of the Holiday number of the
TRIBUNE will prove a desirable Christmas
present for your eastern friends. Leave
your orders at once and avoid the rush.
Misplaced Confidence.
For some months past John Kelley, bet
ter known as "Kelley the Bum," has been '
at Great Falls, carrying the hod, and do- a
ing other odd jobs. He has always been f
regarded a harmless old bum who was
an enemy to no man but himself.-- He is C
an intelligent looking old fellow, a glib g
talker and a dyed-in-the-wool whiskey t
find. Kelley used to be a prosperous t
merchant in New York, afterwards went tl
to the gold fields of California and finally d
turned up at Virginia City, Nevada, with ti
$40,000 in cash and large amounts of min- C'
ing-stock.." But prosperity was a thing I
which Kelley could not stand and he soon
dissipated his ample fortune. About T
three weeks ago he wandered up to the Ic
Montana Central R. R. camp, a few miles t
above town, ragged, hungry, dry and tl
"broke." James Tyren, who was koeping tl
a saloon there, took pity on the man and th
gave him a snug job which would provide s
for him during the winter. Last Friday
Jimmie had occasion to go to Benton on
business, and left Kelley in charge of the
bar and exchequer. Thoughtfully pro
viding himself with supplies of liquors, th
cigars, and $95 in cash, old Kelley, "the
bum," proved himself to be also "the.
thief." He ungratefully left his benefac
tor in the lurch. His whereabouts are
still unknown and Jimmie says he will
not try to find him. Itis safe tosaythat he
his ill-gotten gains won't last him long.
He will live like a-prince for about half a
day and then go beggiaing a- .
Holiday gooid at -Lapeyre's drug store, of
Central ave. 2t ly
a LEWIS AND CLARKE'S EXPEDITION !g
In this vicinity Lewis and Clarke par- h
ticularly note the presence of herds of
countless buffaloes, antelope, elk and other
wild game, besides the less welcome and
d far more troublesome grizzly bear. Their
lives were in constant peril from the latter.
g None of the party dared to be without c
their rifles for a moment. They had con
siderable difficulty in making the portage
at the point which has ever since been
known as Portage Coulee, situated eight- cc
een miles below this town, "down north" ul
for here the Missouri takes a generally
northern course. They made a cache at
the mouth of Portage creek, in which
were deposited some of their baggage, ti
ammunition, provisions, books, specimens th
of plants and minerals, antd a draught of tr
the river from its entrance to Ft. Mandan.
Near the Great Falls, Capt. Clarke, his c
servant, Chabonean, the interpreter and Wl
the latter's wife narrowly escaped from th
the floods with their lives. On their ar- to
rival there (apt. Clarke observed a very co
dark cloud rising in the west, whicht
threatened rain, and he accordingly looked
te
about for shelter. At length, about a
quarter of a mile above the falls, he found the
a deep ravine, where there were some bh
shelving rocks, under which they took re- Si
fuge. They were on the upper side of lin
the ravine perfectly safe from the rain,
and therefore laid down their guns, com
pass and other articles which they had
carried with them. The shower was at
first moderate, then increa:ed to a heavy
rain. Soon after, a torrent of hail and crc
rain descended. The rain seemed to fall bri
in a solid mass and instantly collecting in Fe
the ravine, catme pouring down inl torrents, th
carrying with it masses of mud and rocks. of
Cap't. Clarke fortunately saw it a moment bri
before it reached them and springing up hi
with his gun and shet-pouch in his left m
hand, with his right clambored up the
steep bluff, pushing on the Indian woman co,
with her child in her arms;: her husband j th:
too had seized her hand. but he was so Th
terrificd at the danger, that but for Cap't. Mi
Clarke, they would all have been lo,t. So th
instaaneiaeous was the rise of the water, that tilu
before Cap't. Clarke had reached his gun + h
and begun to a, ea.i the b:mk, the water- to
was t:up to his waist, :.id he c')utd scarcely -
get ;up a.-:er than iL r. e, !ill it reached , etln
-. . w
t a furious current. Hi:d rthey waited
r a moment longer they would have been
swept over the falls. The Capt. lost his
compass and umbrella, Cih:aboneau left
t his gun. shot-pouch and tomahawk, and
the 1ndianwomau had j usttime to grasp her
child. Several members of the other branch
ofthe expedition were knocked down on the
1 plains and considerably bruised by hail
stones. They improvised wooden carts to
make the portage around the series of
falls to a point just above where Ira
Myers mill is now situated, a distance of I
seventeen and three-quarters miles. Their
report records the fact that a hile in the 1
vicinity of the falls they repeatedly heard
a strange noise coming from the mountains.
It was heard at different periods of the t
day and night, sometimes when the air I
was perfectly still and without a cloud, I
and consisting of one stroke only, or of e
five or six discharges in quick succession. e
It was loud, resembling the discharge of a h
cannon. The solution of the mystery as
given by the "watermen" of the party was
that it was occasioned by the bursting of s'
the rich mines of silver confined within h
the bosom of the mouqtain. They thus n
describe Square butte: "There is a moun- a
tain, which from its appearance we shall n
call Fort mountain. It is situated in the li
level plain, and forms nearly a square, h
each side of which is a mile In extent. W
These sides, which are composed of a yel- it
low clay, with no mixture of rock or h'
stone whatever, rise perpendicularly to ti
the height of three hundred feet, where t
the top becomes a level plain. It has o
the appearance of being perfectly inacces
sible.
Religious Notes. (G
Last Sunday night the Rev. J. M. Lar- 1
gent preached on "The New Covenant"
to an [attentive audience. Next Sunday as
the Rev. John Reid will preach in Sand 10
Coulee in the morning and here at night. P
The Rev..Mr. Norris, of Chestnut, is hold- m
ing meetings every evening at the school
house this week and also next week. His hl
subject is "The Cintla- Religion" and K
he wishes it to .be- understood that it
every sermon is a link of the chain, of W
ideas he is desirous of impressing upon the Re
mindstof his hearers.: Norris is asn
of abity and Iie s ctns are extreme
ly interesting; therefore, let .4 "uJ house] (
i gret him upon every occasion. The
First Presbyterian Sunday-school will
hold its usual session next Sunday. The
interest in this school is on the increase. I
r Prayer meeting Wednesday evening of
each week and the childrens' choral
practice for Xmas the same evenings. All r
evening services at 7:30. A hearty welb
come is extended to all. r
OUR HOLIDAY EDITION.
The next number of the TRIBUNE will I
contain sixteen pages, just double the reg
ular size. The extra space will be given b
to a complete "write up" of Northern ,
Montana in general and Great Falls in par- a
ticuiar. The object in view is to portray
the advantages of Northern "Montana in a
truthful and comprehensive manner. Its o
circulation outside of our regular patrons e
will be throughout the east, and we trust I
that it will be the means of adding many n
to our popuiation. Three thousand extra
copies will be printed, about half of which hi
have already been subscribed for. Those j,
desiring extra copies, will please leave d
their orders at this office as soon as possi- t
ble. The price will be $10 per 100 c~opies.
Single copies 15 cents or two for 25. A ri
limited amount of sp,:'e will be devoted to,
advertising. For rates .'ily at the office. t(
-..e -. --- -- | t(
David Thomas on ice. -l h
Last Monday as l)avid Thomas was J
cros-ing Sun river near his ranch, he u
broke through and came near perishing. o0
For an hour and a half he struggled in uI
the frigid water, not losing his presence w
of mind, however. His cries finally rt
brought Jasper Hall and some others to di
his assistance, who became "fishers of at
men" and with difficulty pulled him out h"
with a rope. Mr Thomas was so over- -.
I come with the cold and frantic exertions
that he was insensible when rescued. b(
They managed to tow him across the P'
I Missouri on a board and brought him to a
the Park hotel in a carriage which was k*
quickly summoned. He ,as as rigid as b(
though dead, and his clothes were frozen eC
to him so tight that they had to be literal- M
ly chopped off. It was a terrible experi- th
ence and there is no doubt but that he M
would have died had the good samnaritanus or
been teln minutes latec. Under the care to
of friends and skillful treatment of Drs. hi
Fairlield and Ladd, he was soon restored he
to consciousness 4id started on his way "
rejoicing, for home on Tuesday, a little ca
battered, but still thankful and hearty. as
an
h an
The Result of Carelessness. ly
The fatel result of being careless, was
o sadly exemplified last week. A thorough
f ly worthy, but somewhat absent minded
a young man of Great Falls, has long been de
, paying his respects to one of the most
r charming if not the most beautiful girl up
e hereabouts. lie hnd succeeded in gaining
I her affections, and the eventful day was
approaching when he was prepared to pop
c the question, when behold another Great
r Falls' gallant took a fancy that he would
like that particular girl himself. So he at
once went to C. P. Thomson and had an I
elegant suit made by the great fashion vol
hause; of St. Louis, represented here by Mi:
Mr. Thomson-and though a homely man, rely
the suit fitted so well and looked so hand- the
some, that he actually carried the girls
heart by storm, and married her within a I
week. The first fellow, out of spite, went is a
and married the uglist and sourest old ano
maid he could find, and for a week his tial
life was miserable, until one day he bought
her one of Thomson's New Singer Sewing I
Machines. This gave her so much joy by on 1
its easy running and splendid work that othe
her temperment underwent a change un- thir
til she became a good, kind, house-wife. tios
Now- both parties are happy-the result of that
our mrerchants keeping good goods. tf
School Report. run
herewith is submitted the report of wer
Great Fulls' schoolt ending December, 3d, tam
1886. sool
Number of pupils enrolled, 42-21- boys
and 21 girls; average number be
longing, 85; days.. attendance, 598; pupils L
present every day and having no tardy the
marks, are Emialy Brunean and Bertha 1884
Largent; those present every day and not Bur
having more than three tardy- mrs, are ol
Kitty LuxJe.e fle iring, Zarry Berring, p
Ira Black ands ohn Gray. sitors-Mrs.: Piea
Walker, rs. Evans, Mrs. ]eokery and: P
Rev. Mr. Clews. will
J. ML LAmo ,,rr Teacher. kept
Holiday goods at Lapeyre's drg stoe,
Ventral ".soe;,:
he BENEATH THE WAVES.
ill
he LASt Sunday afternoon three freight out
se. fits arrived at the ford across the river.
of Mr. Horton passed safely over followed by
a1 Mo. 2. But the third, belonging to Tun
ll nell Bros. was less fortunate. They drove
+' too far down from the upper ford and the
refractory leaders becoming unmanagable,
swung around into a deep hole. Here
was a predicament, six horses tangled up
ll in the harness, struggling for life in twen
ty-five feet of swift flowing water. They
managed to cut three of their horses loose,
n but the others after keeping their heads
rU above water 4,y violent struggles, for half
r- an hour, finally succumbed.
The horses were valuable ones and their
a loss falls heavy upon their unfortunate
owners. Tunnell Bros., sat upon the wag
ou-watching their property go down, pow
1s erless to save it in the deep water. Joe
st Herring put'himself in swimming trim,
,y mounted a horse, rode out to the wagon
and brought the freighters to shore.
a "Jack" the faithful yard boy at the Park
,h Itel, with more g.cnrosity than discretion
I jumped on a hl!r.- and went out to cut the
e drowlin hor- is loose. But he fell into
it g thse ae trap, got over the horse's depth,
lost hio i and w:o:: s,on left lamenting
:, ,, it: old w:ator in the middle of the
A riv.r. a;,k h:andled himself pretty well,
v w iinnig in the cold water until his feet
touched a rock where he had sense enough
to remain until Geo, Arthur and Bill An
heir went out in a boat, to his rescue.
SJack was in the water at,least twenty min
to utes and was so numb when they got him
on terra firma that he could hardly stand
n up. A liberal application of hot water
e without and whiskey within and vigorous
y rubbing restored him to his normal con
;o dition and he was rustling as usual bright
>f and early Monday morning. He says he
it has no further use for the Missouri until
r spring.
IS The crowd gathered at the river bank
i. became considerably excited while the
e poor fellow was soaking. It certainly was
o a close call for Jake, for had he been ta
S ken with cramps, his life would not have
s been worth a farthing. The tragedy end
n ed with a grand comedy in which Tom
Murphy's goat and Kinlonch's dog were
the dramatis personae. The do$ backed
e Mr. Billie Goat into the canal, from which,
s on account of the ice, the B. G, was unable
e to extricate himself. The boys helped
him out however, and for their kind offices
Slie showed his gra.tlui by shaking ice
water all over their Sunday clothes. The
cargo on the ill-fated freight wagon con
sisted of hardware for Burch & Hotchkiss
and liquors for the Park hotel. Fortunate
ly none of it was lost. It is surmised that
the genial host of the Park devised this
strategem as a sly way of watering his
whiskey. This theory is not given general
credence, though the circumstantial evi
dence is strong. A subscription wastaken
up for Tunnell Bros. which somewhat
lessened their loss. Both the fords here
are treacherous and no one should attempt
to cross them unless. perfectly familiar
with their exact course.
1 CASUAL.
I scream, the boys say when they in
voluntarily get left out in the congealed
Missouri with no immediate prospect of
release. A very proper thing to do under
the circumstances,
The bridge across the river, at present
is a "bridge of sighs." I hope that by
another fall we will have a good substan
tial viaduct at the foot of Central avenue.
I read the history of a free for all fight
on the faces of a number of rounders, the
other day. No one seemed to know any
thing about it, but the touching multila
tions of their countenances spoke louder
than words.
December 8th I saw several little boys
running about town bare-footed, and they
were'nt obliged to either. Such is Mon
tana winter weather. The oranges will
soon be ripe.
Advertised Letters.
List of letters remaining unclaimed in
the postoffice at Great Falls December 10,
1888.
Burnham A C Beard James
Foley Mike Christianson Nils 2
McDougal Dan. Lisher M. G.
Peterson Chales Majors Zenia
Pierson Join
Persenm calling for any oettbersa I.iers:
will please say "adiertised" as they are
kept separatefrom other letters.
Holiday goods at Lapeyre's drug st
Central ave. t
Den.