Newspaper Page Text
GREAT FALLS ''TRIBU NE
VOL, 2. GREAT FALLS, MONTANA TERRITORY, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, 18868 NO 30 TICKLING TOUCHES. Yesterday afternoon the editor handed me a note addressed in care of the TRI 1rUNE. The superscription was in a round, plain hand, and upon sawing open the envelope with a knife blade, patterned after Henry Ward Beecher's despair, dis covered the following: GREAT FALLs, Dec., 10th, 1886. Y. H. TIrs, Dear Sir: To you as the story-writer for the TRIiUNE, I take the liberty of appealing for help and advice in regard to the best method of becoming a story-writer. I young, poor, have considerable imagina tion, a fair education and a strong desire 1 to get into print. " Enclosed please tind postage stamp. Please answer as soon as convenient,1 Your admirer and Humble Serv't., G.I. M. For a brief moment. surprise overpow ered me. but calm judgment soon inter veined and I saw at once that duty demand ed an effort on my part to rescue from a horrible fate a bright, ambitious, but mis- K guided youth. A Dixon's graphite and a yard of paper were immediately called into requisition and to G. I. M3. was the follovinug wrttien: 1)DEAR G. I. M: Your note of the 10th inst, informs me of your mistaken ambition and rash desire. Ile warned while yet the warm blood of impulsive youth courses in your veins! t Don't do it, that is, don't ever even try to write a story unless you can depend to a dead certainty on the early demise of a ' maiden aunt who will constitute you sole c heir to a fortune. In such an event the acquirement of a fortune will turn the t course of your ambition into other channels. Let me beseech you not to blast your life's happiness with any such delusion, for in days to come you will discover your sad mistake when, alas too late! When early silver hairs will steal in among the vigor ous, like a defeated candidate after elec- ti tion into a bar-room. When as you be come sensitive to the meaning of peoples' every day actions you willhave discovered tl that your approach toward a knot of peo- ] ple will be the signal for a discontinuance tl of conversation. Wlhen the hitth4n holdSe your 'srae] monthly allowances of meat in one hand a. ,ill your silver in the other re-awrakens the c1 ::ction of his blooded handed mechanism. When the cigar and tobacco dealer, who tl .-u"es you approaching from afar vigo,',ru ýt ly apple t!:- !ther duster to ils nr- . cotic merchandise and as you enter is 1t studiously engaged in straightening up bi that significant legend "NO TRUST." a When the festive cowboy undisguisedly 'scorns you with bowlegged sneers, know- h ing that though busted, you are no bron- in eho buster. When the grocxeryman sh hands you over the counter candles in re- fr turn for your last and lonesome quarter p and then with a wink at the woodsawyer in the corner flippantly' refers to the au thor's mid-night oil. When the landlady takes savage satisfaction in referring to your 3ISS as litter and warns, her freckle pr faced daughter against such "worthless y( things as them writers." When the pie bald cayuse fears lest you should describe his calico appearance id some tale of law lessness. When even the dogs shun you te, afraid that you may quote "curs of low at degree" against them. When the editor inl jabs punctuation marks clean through re, your copy and the typos make sport of an your big words. When the fairest flowers an of your rhetorical climax are so crushed tal and demoralized that you can't tell them fi" from a funeral notice in Sanscrit. When me the very word which exactly expressed to 1 your meaning and was written most tur plainly comes out in print transposed and $41 ridiculous. When with your hand upon in, your heart you can honestly and confi- wb dently assure yourself that the above and dis many more as yet untold trials can be thr borne by you with heroic equanimity then MI. commence out of the fullness of your en- abo thusiasm on your first story, utterly dis- "br regarding, place, plot or punctuation. You a at say you are young; thats one point in gar your favor, before this reaches you, some for other and more remunerative ambition Jiu may have occurred to you. You are bus poor; another fortunate circumstance on bar your side, for unless you are much en- vide amored of poverty, story writing will cig. soon show you that condition in its most bun attenuated form. "Considerable imagina- thie tion." Good! Apply your imaginative tor powers to some scheme. The ameliora- still tion of the morals of story writers, for not instance, give your fancy full play upon his the charitable instincts of benevolent, old He ladies, secure the treasurership and then day come tome for further advice. "A fair H edacton;" very handy thing to have, get Ceni some more of it. Read as much as you can comfortably understand and remem d ber-Story-writers don't read, hav'nt got time. As for getting into print, there are hundreds of ways to do that; if nothing else suggests itself to your adolescent mind, d put coal tar on the editor's door knob and let him catch you at it. I found your postage stamps first thing and it proves to my mind conclusively that as yet you have not taken the fatal e misstep. Story-writers are never, except on rare occasions, possessed of stamps that is one thing it is foolish to buy so long as they may be obtained by judicious lbor e rowing just before the mail goes, out. 1 Happy is the conviction that at least once in a sadly misspent life a worthy duty has been conscientiously performed to a deluded fellow mortal. I am most truly yours, Y. II. TIMs. lie hadn't been around for over a week. Perched up on the chair back, his muddy feet on the seat, he coughed one of those deep down, far in the hereafter coughs which make strong men shudder. "Got an awful cold," he commncenced, "'.est got back from Benton, an got this cold on the road." "Yes, its cold riding up the river," we reply. "Taint thaint that. taint that; got this cold from two drummers, travlin' men, by 'maginashun. You see the front inside the coach was full o' bundles an boxes an I sit between the drmumners. One'sfrom St. Louis an' the other from Sheecago. The St. Louis man hears that we got plenty coal here in Great Falls an' bein' in the 1 stove business come up to sell sum. I I thort he was the slickest talker I ever heerd. lHe started out with 'mron mine told all about furnaces an' smelter, then got onto the foundry racket an' bed jist got a goin' on the new patint heaters when it come noon. After dinner he let 1 loose agin and talked base burners an' pat tint heaters till I got warm'd up so that if I I hadn't know'd 'twase'nt more'n two weeks from Christmas I'd a swore 'twas the middle 'o August, whew! wasn't I hot, t jest a bilin'. The other fellow he got in t the game an' open'd the play with a hand on ice chists an' 'frigerators, then switched i 1',k4 t~n Minnesoty an Idiuduy, told us t about the lakes an' ice cuttn', then he a changed his play an' read us a few lines on I)akota blizzards an' When I got out on the other side the ri'-~ I was froze clear I to the b,:n,, an' after I got thaw'd out a found i'd the durndest worst cold I ever a ketched." IIe gathered the folds of his s buffalo overcoat around him, coughed up c a cork insole and slowly crawled out. At hi 5 o'clock in the evening when everybody tt had on overcoats and gloves, he was walk- c ing down the middle of the road in his o shirtsleeves, singing clear and loud,"I come p from old Missouri, I,m all the way from s1 Pike," I_ A Desirable Christmas Present. A copy of the Holiday number of the TRIBUNE will prove a desirable Christmas present for your eastern friends. Leave your orders at once and avoid the rush. Misplaced Confidence. For some months past John Kelley, bet ter known as "Kelley the Bum," has been ' at Great Falls, carrying the hod, and do- a ing other odd jobs. He has always been f regarded a harmless old bum who was an enemy to no man but himself.-- He is C an intelligent looking old fellow, a glib g talker and a dyed-in-the-wool whiskey t find. Kelley used to be a prosperous t merchant in New York, afterwards went tl to the gold fields of California and finally d turned up at Virginia City, Nevada, with ti $40,000 in cash and large amounts of min- C' ing-stock.." But prosperity was a thing I which Kelley could not stand and he soon dissipated his ample fortune. About T three weeks ago he wandered up to the Ic Montana Central R. R. camp, a few miles t above town, ragged, hungry, dry and tl "broke." James Tyren, who was koeping tl a saloon there, took pity on the man and th gave him a snug job which would provide s for him during the winter. Last Friday Jimmie had occasion to go to Benton on business, and left Kelley in charge of the bar and exchequer. Thoughtfully pro viding himself with supplies of liquors, th cigars, and $95 in cash, old Kelley, "the bum," proved himself to be also "the. thief." He ungratefully left his benefac tor in the lurch. His whereabouts are still unknown and Jimmie says he will not try to find him. Itis safe tosaythat he his ill-gotten gains won't last him long. He will live like a-prince for about half a day and then go beggiaing a- . Holiday gooid at -Lapeyre's drug store, of Central ave. 2t ly a LEWIS AND CLARKE'S EXPEDITION !g In this vicinity Lewis and Clarke par- h ticularly note the presence of herds of countless buffaloes, antelope, elk and other wild game, besides the less welcome and d far more troublesome grizzly bear. Their lives were in constant peril from the latter. g None of the party dared to be without c their rifles for a moment. They had con siderable difficulty in making the portage at the point which has ever since been known as Portage Coulee, situated eight- cc een miles below this town, "down north" ul for here the Missouri takes a generally northern course. They made a cache at the mouth of Portage creek, in which were deposited some of their baggage, ti ammunition, provisions, books, specimens th of plants and minerals, antd a draught of tr the river from its entrance to Ft. Mandan. Near the Great Falls, Capt. Clarke, his c servant, Chabonean, the interpreter and Wl the latter's wife narrowly escaped from th the floods with their lives. On their ar- to rival there (apt. Clarke observed a very co dark cloud rising in the west, whicht threatened rain, and he accordingly looked te about for shelter. At length, about a quarter of a mile above the falls, he found the a deep ravine, where there were some bh shelving rocks, under which they took re- Si fuge. They were on the upper side of lin the ravine perfectly safe from the rain, and therefore laid down their guns, com pass and other articles which they had carried with them. The shower was at first moderate, then increa:ed to a heavy rain. Soon after, a torrent of hail and crc rain descended. The rain seemed to fall bri in a solid mass and instantly collecting in Fe the ravine, catme pouring down inl torrents, th carrying with it masses of mud and rocks. of Cap't. Clarke fortunately saw it a moment bri before it reached them and springing up hi with his gun and shet-pouch in his left m hand, with his right clambored up the steep bluff, pushing on the Indian woman co, with her child in her arms;: her husband j th: too had seized her hand. but he was so Th terrificd at the danger, that but for Cap't. Mi Clarke, they would all have been lo,t. So th instaaneiaeous was the rise of the water, that tilu before Cap't. Clarke had reached his gun + h and begun to a, ea.i the b:mk, the water- to was t:up to his waist, :.id he c')utd scarcely - get ;up a.-:er than iL r. e, !ill it reached , etln -. . w t a furious current. Hi:d rthey waited r a moment longer they would have been swept over the falls. The Capt. lost his compass and umbrella, Cih:aboneau left t his gun. shot-pouch and tomahawk, and the 1ndianwomau had j usttime to grasp her child. Several members of the other branch ofthe expedition were knocked down on the 1 plains and considerably bruised by hail stones. They improvised wooden carts to make the portage around the series of falls to a point just above where Ira Myers mill is now situated, a distance of I seventeen and three-quarters miles. Their report records the fact that a hile in the 1 vicinity of the falls they repeatedly heard a strange noise coming from the mountains. It was heard at different periods of the t day and night, sometimes when the air I was perfectly still and without a cloud, I and consisting of one stroke only, or of e five or six discharges in quick succession. e It was loud, resembling the discharge of a h cannon. The solution of the mystery as given by the "watermen" of the party was that it was occasioned by the bursting of s' the rich mines of silver confined within h the bosom of the mouqtain. They thus n describe Square butte: "There is a moun- a tain, which from its appearance we shall n call Fort mountain. It is situated in the li level plain, and forms nearly a square, h each side of which is a mile In extent. W These sides, which are composed of a yel- it low clay, with no mixture of rock or h' stone whatever, rise perpendicularly to ti the height of three hundred feet, where t the top becomes a level plain. It has o the appearance of being perfectly inacces sible. Religious Notes. (G Last Sunday night the Rev. J. M. Lar- 1 gent preached on "The New Covenant" to an [attentive audience. Next Sunday as the Rev. John Reid will preach in Sand 10 Coulee in the morning and here at night. P The Rev..Mr. Norris, of Chestnut, is hold- m ing meetings every evening at the school house this week and also next week. His hl subject is "The Cintla- Religion" and K he wishes it to .be- understood that it every sermon is a link of the chain, of W ideas he is desirous of impressing upon the Re mindstof his hearers.: Norris is asn of abity and Iie s ctns are extreme ly interesting; therefore, let .4 "uJ house] ( i gret him upon every occasion. The First Presbyterian Sunday-school will hold its usual session next Sunday. The interest in this school is on the increase. I r Prayer meeting Wednesday evening of each week and the childrens' choral practice for Xmas the same evenings. All r evening services at 7:30. A hearty welb come is extended to all. r OUR HOLIDAY EDITION. The next number of the TRIBUNE will I contain sixteen pages, just double the reg ular size. The extra space will be given b to a complete "write up" of Northern , Montana in general and Great Falls in par- a ticuiar. The object in view is to portray the advantages of Northern "Montana in a truthful and comprehensive manner. Its o circulation outside of our regular patrons e will be throughout the east, and we trust I that it will be the means of adding many n to our popuiation. Three thousand extra copies will be printed, about half of which hi have already been subscribed for. Those j, desiring extra copies, will please leave d their orders at this office as soon as possi- t ble. The price will be $10 per 100 c~opies. Single copies 15 cents or two for 25. A ri limited amount of sp,:'e will be devoted to, advertising. For rates .'ily at the office. t( -..e -. --- -- | t( David Thomas on ice. -l h Last Monday as l)avid Thomas was J cros-ing Sun river near his ranch, he u broke through and came near perishing. o0 For an hour and a half he struggled in uI the frigid water, not losing his presence w of mind, however. His cries finally rt brought Jasper Hall and some others to di his assistance, who became "fishers of at men" and with difficulty pulled him out h" with a rope. Mr Thomas was so over- -. I come with the cold and frantic exertions that he was insensible when rescued. b( They managed to tow him across the P' I Missouri on a board and brought him to a the Park hotel in a carriage which was k* quickly summoned. He ,as as rigid as b( though dead, and his clothes were frozen eC to him so tight that they had to be literal- M ly chopped off. It was a terrible experi- th ence and there is no doubt but that he M would have died had the good samnaritanus or been teln minutes latec. Under the care to of friends and skillful treatment of Drs. hi Fairlield and Ladd, he was soon restored he to consciousness 4id started on his way " rejoicing, for home on Tuesday, a little ca battered, but still thankful and hearty. as an h an The Result of Carelessness. ly The fatel result of being careless, was o sadly exemplified last week. A thorough f ly worthy, but somewhat absent minded a young man of Great Falls, has long been de , paying his respects to one of the most r charming if not the most beautiful girl up e hereabouts. lie hnd succeeded in gaining I her affections, and the eventful day was approaching when he was prepared to pop c the question, when behold another Great r Falls' gallant took a fancy that he would like that particular girl himself. So he at once went to C. P. Thomson and had an I elegant suit made by the great fashion vol hause; of St. Louis, represented here by Mi: Mr. Thomson-and though a homely man, rely the suit fitted so well and looked so hand- the some, that he actually carried the girls heart by storm, and married her within a I week. The first fellow, out of spite, went is a and married the uglist and sourest old ano maid he could find, and for a week his tial life was miserable, until one day he bought her one of Thomson's New Singer Sewing I Machines. This gave her so much joy by on 1 its easy running and splendid work that othe her temperment underwent a change un- thir til she became a good, kind, house-wife. tios Now- both parties are happy-the result of that our mrerchants keeping good goods. tf School Report. run herewith is submitted the report of wer Great Fulls' schoolt ending December, 3d, tam 1886. sool Number of pupils enrolled, 42-21- boys and 21 girls; average number be longing, 85; days.. attendance, 598; pupils L present every day and having no tardy the marks, are Emialy Brunean and Bertha 1884 Largent; those present every day and not Bur having more than three tardy- mrs, are ol Kitty LuxJe.e fle iring, Zarry Berring, p Ira Black ands ohn Gray. sitors-Mrs.: Piea Walker, rs. Evans, Mrs. ]eokery and: P Rev. Mr. Clews. will J. ML LAmo ,,rr Teacher. kept Holiday goods at Lapeyre's drg stoe, Ventral ".soe;,: he BENEATH THE WAVES. ill he LASt Sunday afternoon three freight out se. fits arrived at the ford across the river. of Mr. Horton passed safely over followed by a1 Mo. 2. But the third, belonging to Tun ll nell Bros. was less fortunate. They drove +' too far down from the upper ford and the refractory leaders becoming unmanagable, swung around into a deep hole. Here was a predicament, six horses tangled up ll in the harness, struggling for life in twen ty-five feet of swift flowing water. They managed to cut three of their horses loose, n but the others after keeping their heads rU above water 4,y violent struggles, for half r- an hour, finally succumbed. The horses were valuable ones and their a loss falls heavy upon their unfortunate owners. Tunnell Bros., sat upon the wag ou-watching their property go down, pow 1s erless to save it in the deep water. Joe st Herring put'himself in swimming trim, ,y mounted a horse, rode out to the wagon and brought the freighters to shore. a "Jack" the faithful yard boy at the Park ,h Itel, with more g.cnrosity than discretion I jumped on a hl!r.- and went out to cut the e drowlin hor- is loose. But he fell into it g thse ae trap, got over the horse's depth, lost hio i and w:o:: s,on left lamenting :, ,, it: old w:ator in the middle of the A riv.r. a;,k h:andled himself pretty well, v w iinnig in the cold water until his feet touched a rock where he had sense enough to remain until Geo, Arthur and Bill An heir went out in a boat, to his rescue. SJack was in the water at,least twenty min to utes and was so numb when they got him on terra firma that he could hardly stand n up. A liberal application of hot water e without and whiskey within and vigorous y rubbing restored him to his normal con ;o dition and he was rustling as usual bright >f and early Monday morning. He says he it has no further use for the Missouri until r spring. IS The crowd gathered at the river bank i. became considerably excited while the e poor fellow was soaking. It certainly was o a close call for Jake, for had he been ta S ken with cramps, his life would not have s been worth a farthing. The tragedy end n ed with a grand comedy in which Tom Murphy's goat and Kinlonch's dog were the dramatis personae. The do$ backed e Mr. Billie Goat into the canal, from which, s on account of the ice, the B. G, was unable e to extricate himself. The boys helped him out however, and for their kind offices Slie showed his gra.tlui by shaking ice water all over their Sunday clothes. The cargo on the ill-fated freight wagon con sisted of hardware for Burch & Hotchkiss and liquors for the Park hotel. Fortunate ly none of it was lost. It is surmised that the genial host of the Park devised this strategem as a sly way of watering his whiskey. This theory is not given general credence, though the circumstantial evi dence is strong. A subscription wastaken up for Tunnell Bros. which somewhat lessened their loss. Both the fords here are treacherous and no one should attempt to cross them unless. perfectly familiar with their exact course. 1 CASUAL. I scream, the boys say when they in voluntarily get left out in the congealed Missouri with no immediate prospect of release. A very proper thing to do under the circumstances, The bridge across the river, at present is a "bridge of sighs." I hope that by another fall we will have a good substan tial viaduct at the foot of Central avenue. I read the history of a free for all fight on the faces of a number of rounders, the other day. No one seemed to know any thing about it, but the touching multila tions of their countenances spoke louder than words. December 8th I saw several little boys running about town bare-footed, and they were'nt obliged to either. Such is Mon tana winter weather. The oranges will soon be ripe. Advertised Letters. List of letters remaining unclaimed in the postoffice at Great Falls December 10, 1888. Burnham A C Beard James Foley Mike Christianson Nils 2 McDougal Dan. Lisher M. G. Peterson Chales Majors Zenia Pierson Join Persenm calling for any oettbersa I.iers: will please say "adiertised" as they are kept separatefrom other letters. Holiday goods at Lapeyre's drug st Central ave. t Den.