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The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, February 06, 1885, Image 1

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Authorized Agents.
C. W. CRANE, 31ft Pine Street, Room 39,
Baa Francieco, California.
L. P. FISH Kit, Room 21 Merchant’s Ex
change. San Francisco, Cal.
qBO. M. MOTT, Nos. 42 and 44 .1 street,
Sacramento, is our only agent in that city.
OEO. P. ROWELL A 00., 10 Spruve street,
New York City, New York.
CRAB. K. MILLER A OO., No. 2 Tribune
Building. Chicago, Illinois.
Ths above agents are authorised to collect
vontyc due the Mmmknokr, take orders for
•grertMng, solicit subscribers and attend to anv
^hcr b-miaeiw for us that may be connected with
Mia Wice.
ram of m bm iiption.
Om Tear.• 00
Btx Months. *
Ont Square, ten lines, first insertion.f8 no
Each subarquent insertion.. 1 fid
ti3T Orders for Subscription, Advertising, and
Job Work, will receive prompt at ten ton.
Wkm the Bottle Wai Produced, all
Doubt Disappeared.
Old Judge McTeal, whom, years
ago, the harvester gathered and
stored away in the great ham of eter
nity, was one of Arkansaw's first cir
cuit riders of the law. There were
only two circuit riders in the State,
and the log houses in which *he grand
and petit juries assembled, were
a week's journey apart. The natives
were all anxious to see a judge, be
lieving him to he a man of great
stature and an intellect from which
hut few scrupa of information were
kept hidden. McTeal was rather a
small man, with mottled complexion
and a nose which seemed to have
caught the lingering rays of an
autumn sun.
One day while riding along toward
Rent Shank court-house, he lost the
“blazed trail,” wandered for a time
in the woods and finally came u|*m a
•mall cabin built of round logs. He
was in the act of drawing a long
breath, preparatory to a lusty
“helloa," when he was startled by
the swelling notes of a hymn which
•uddenly arose. Nothing more (prick
ly revives the memory of sacred
teachings than a song of religious
praise bursting upon an unex|iectant
car, and the judge, being a man of
orthodox faith, was thankful that in
such a wild place he had found men
who were endeavoring to walk in the
footsteps of I’eter and Raul. When
lie entered, the congregation stopjied
singing and looked at him. The
t>reaclicr, who stood with his elbows
resting on a tall slab bench, gazed at
him intently and said :
Thar seems to lie a disturbin’ ele
ment in the fold. Stranger, whut
mout Is* your lius'ness?’’
The judge, who was emharassed to
see that his presence had wrought
•itch a change, replied that having
lost his way he had come upon the
house, and finding that religious ser
vices were being held, had entered,
glad of the opportunity to indulge his
appetite for worship.
“We hafter he mighty keerful,
podner," rejoined the preacher.
“Xou mout be a true seeker airter
the straight an’ narrow path, but
then again you moutent. To tell you
tbs truth—an’ it's one o’ my habits
to be plain—f don’t like the wuy
you've got yourself rigged up. We
don’t put on no style out lie re, an' wo
don't see why a honest man aughter
put on thorn sorter duds. What mout
wyour business, podner?”
“I am (he newlv appointed judge of
tins circuit."
The preacher and congregation
laughed. The idea of such a small
man being a judge was inconsistent
with the people's preconceived esti
mation of such a dignitary.
"fiOok here, poduer, said the
Keacher, throwing one leg over tho
nch, putting one hand under his
chin and shoving out his whiskers
until they pointed at the judge, “we
ain’t all professors o’ lamin’, an'it
mout take us some time to cal’clate a
eclipse o’the sun, moon an’ stairs,
but Uiar’s a right smart sprinklin’ o'
bus*sense ’imingHt us. A judge eh?”
1 ulling back his whiskers, tho
Jjreacher discharged a mouthful of
ambler" and nodded at the judge as
though he would clinch his last
“(ienUemen, you are of course en
titled to your opinions," said the
jurist, “hut we will wave all that
aside. Please proceed with your de
votional exercises.”
"No," replied the preacher, “we
about through now."
"1 hope that iny presence has not
caused you to give up a performance
■o laudable."
"Talks like a judge, dinged if he
don’t," said a red headed deacon,
slowly shaking his head as though
Wavering between a continuation of
disbelief and a conviction that the
judge had spoken tiie truth.
“Yaw,” replied the preacher, “but
talk is easy. JCf I was to slick up a
little an’ go irtfo a strange neighbor
hood an’ give tho folks a few lines o’
roy best conversation, w’y they’d
think that I had writ a ’rithmetic or
been speaker o’ tho legislatur."
Although the judge’s pride to some
extent suffered, yet the incredulity of
the congregation amused him. “Par
he. "we will not further
discuss the. question or wnetner or
not I am a judge, for on an occasion
of this kind it really makes no differ
e.’.ce. How is it, my p tod friends,
that I see no women in the congre
“Becase thar ain't none here, I
reckon," rejoined the preacher.
“Yes, very likely that is one rea
“Ah’ another reason,” continued
the preacher, “iB beeasc they didn’t
This logic was so convincing that
the congregation laughed.
“Why did they not come?” asked
the judge.
“Wall, they had to stay at home
an’ take keer o’ tno chi dun. The
wimmen folks don’t need no preachin’
fur, bless ’em, they are good enough
without it"
“Well, gentlemen, as services ure
closed for to-day, I do not think that
there would be anv impropriety in
taking a little something to drink. I
have some excellent stuff here ” con
tinueit the judge, taking out a hottle.
"I'll jine you," said the preacher,
throwing out a quid of tobacco. Turn
ing up the liottle, ho took a lingering
“pull,” and said :
“Ah, boys, blamed if I don't be
lieve be is a judge."
Turing up the bottle again, and
hesitating some time before he took
it down, lie wi|ie<l his mouth on his
coat sleeve, and declared: "Hoys,
blamed if I don’t know it.”
"Hass the evidence this way,” said
the deacon. "Ah,” after a protract
ed upward gaze—"he's got the proof.
All that want to be satisfied jest come
up to the mourner's liencli. Nobody
but a jedge could toat this sort o’
The entire congregation, becoming
■epentunt, crowded around the
nourner’s bench; and, as a hymn
iroke forth, the judge was • from
.he floor and borne on li.c shoulders
>f the ardent worshipers. All of the
jrothers assisted him in finding the
ftlazed trail. “Never since that
■ime,” said the judge, in speaking of
the event, “have I found a church
where I was held in such high es
A Lord's PrrillrMineiit*
Thiring his journey North, Lord
Salisbury, the Conservative leader of
the House of I.ords, changed his cos
tume for a full Highland rig-out, in
tending it as a delicate compliment
to the land ofitlie kilt. Hut w hen he
looked at himself in the glass he
found that the tailor had cut his
petticoats, or whatever they are
called, too short. Ho he made up his
mind to put on evening dress. He
changed his upper garments ami then
sat dow n to read his speech. This
sent him to sleep, lie only woke
with a start to find himself running
into the station. Forgetting what
had hap|>oiicd, he thrust on his hat
and ap|s-ared at the window bowing,
and this w as how he was dressed :
He lutd full Highland costume as far
as Ills waist, above was a white shirt
and sw allow-tailed coat and the entire
edifice was crowned with a chimney
pot hat, upon which lie sat dow n with
out noticing it. His lordship's horror
when he stepped on the platform and
felt tlie keen wind cutting his bare
legs changed to absolute agony when
his valet appeared scrambling out of
tlieearriage with a pair of trowsers in
his hands, waving them wildly and
exclaiming: "My lord, my lord,
you've forgotten these!”
Wh«rt Not'to Start a Taper.
In his letter to the amateur journal
ists, Hubert J. Burdette offers some
sage advice regarding the starting of
newspapers. Says lie:
If lie start a newspajier in a town
where nobody wants a paper;
Or where there are already five pa
pers in a two-paper town;
- Or, if a long primer man tries to
■tart a nonpareil pa|>cr;
Or, if he try to run an eight column
paper on a two-column basis;
Or, if be skin his home advertisers
and cut rutes for foreign ads ;
Or, if lie start out by giviug a $3
puff for a ten-cent coinfi;
Or, if lie start a paper because he
has failed at everything else ;
Then, indeed, hath he bitten off
more than he can masticate, and his
paper, beloved by the gods, will die
young anil fresh.
Mexico lias a herd law that seems ,
to give satisfaction everywhere. If
one man’s stock depredates upon an
other man’s land, whether it he grass
or grain, the owner is notified, if
known, to take away the stock, and
if this is not done, the animal or ani
mals are driven to the pound and ad
vertised and sold. If an individual
owns or leases land in that country
he knows he will get to uso it, ami
not be compelled to pay for pasturing
other people’s stock.
Hygienic pillows are now in vogue.
Three form a full equipment for a bed,
nf which one is filled with hops, a
lecoud with pine needles, and a third
witli marine moss. They are believed
lo cure sleeplessness amt nervous dis
A lady in Fonda, N, Y., who is just
ninety-two years old, is just learning
lo play the piano. She says that a
woman who can’t play some sort of an
Instrument nowadays stands a pretty
poor chance of getting married.
Henry Lnbouchcro, M. P., is not
• >nly one of the brightest men in Lon
don, with an income of £10,000 a year
from the Truth, but has a big share in
I lie Daily News,, which makes an
enormous income.
Odds and Eads,
The Washington Hatchet describes
Colonel IngerttoIlaB a man who spells
God with a little gaud hunts all over
creation to find a It big enough to
honor the devil with.
$1 —“Thief!” *50,000 — “Defaul
ter!” flOO.OOO—“Whortagee!” *500,
000—“Canadian tourist!” *1,000,000
—“Brilliant financier!”
A friend of John C. Knos says that
John began life as a poor boy. His
creditors are welcome to all tlie con
solation they can derive from this.
It may be true that “two is com
pany and three’s a crowd,” but you
would have considerable trouble con
vincing a theatrical manager of the
Theo keeps a bearded old duenna,
whose duty it is to write affectionate
notes to tlie vealy youths who lose
their beads over tiie actress, anil try
to correspond with'lier.
An Ohio girl, while out driving
with a young man this week, got out
of the buggy and killed herself with a
pistol. He probably persisted in
driving with both hands.
Wife—“John, our coachman must
go.” "But why, my dear? Our only
daughter is married.” "Yes, but—
John, I’m not so very old myself, you
know 1”
“You may speak,” said a fond
mother, “about people having
strength of min 1, but when it comes
to strength of don’t mind, my son
William surpasses everybody I ever
A California man claims to have
seen an animal half dog and half alli
gator. We strongly suspect the same
man saw two wives and two rolling
pins when be got home that evening.
“How are you getting along?”
asked an old judge of a younger law
yer. "Very well, thank you,” was
the reply. “I got iny first case to
day.” “Indeed 1” and what was it?”
“A bookcase.
At the club. Van Dyke—“And the
dogcart don't belong to him, eh?”
Browne—“No, borrowed. He's poor
and only half in society.” — Van
Dyke—“Julius Cresar! and I took the
trouble to be civil to him.”
We notice that there is a great deal
more said in the papers about "pho
tographing the sun” than about pho
tographing the daughter. And the
daughter generally makes the hand
somest picture.
A horse-ear conductor recently en
gaged in a prize light out west and
won after a desperate struggle of an
hour and a half. His opponent se
cured first blood, but the knight of
the punch got all the knock downs.
A Kansas City paper says: “It’s a
cold day when the democrats get
left.” This shows the divine dispen
sation of Providence in bringing elec
tion day in November. It’s generally
quite chilly in that month.
A poor insane man walks about the
streets of New Orleans with a cornet
in his hand. The pity which he
arouses is caused not so much by his
insanity alone as by the peculiarly
pitiable manner in w hich it manifests
“And so you have been to Europe?
Did you go to Switzerland ? and did
you see the glaciers?” Mrs. Shoddy
—“Oh, yes, we saw mechanics of ail
kinds, but then, you know, I don’t
take any interest in such vulgar per
“Boston lias an accomplished girl
who can scream at a mouse in seven
languages.” To Imrl seven languages
at a mouse would he a gre it waste of
dialects. It is very doubtful if the
mouse would understand only one
“No,” said the merchant, “I don't
advertise now. I used to, but I got
completely tired out waiting on cus
tomers. Since 1 stopped that adver
tisement I have had a continual
vacation and have been able to dis
charge two of my clerks.”
It is announced that Mrs. Bclva
Lockwood intends to have her cab
inet made a la l'ompadour, cut bias,
with seven rows of knife-pleating
down \he front, and a jabot of Span
ish lace, with ruching of Scotch mull
and piuk bows around the neck.
An agricultural journal prints “A
Cure for Bark Lice.” If bark lice are
attacked with cholera, or yellow
fever or small-pox, or some other
dangerous disease, a man is a fool to
attempt to cure them, lie Blvould
give them something to hasten their
An Ohio farmer says that n mule
can ho cured of kicking by catching
hold of his leg while in the act. But
when the unfortunate ojierator is
sailing through the empyrean dome
he probably wishes lie hadn’t inter
fered with the inalienable rights and
hereditary customs of the mule.
“Young man,” said the professor,
“you should not allow yourself to he
guided altogether by vour own opin
ions. You should defer to the opin
ions of others.” Student—“But the
poet says * ’tin madness to defer.’”
l’rofessor—“True, hut the poet was
Young when he suid that.”
A Boston young lady has been pro
posed to by means of a letter printed
on the type-writer. Such cure to
have it legible seems to have been
entirely unnecessary on the part of
the young man. Trust a g'rl to read
a letter of proposal at sight, even if
written in Sanskrit and a bn l hand
WigfUh Hut HentlMt.
Tmproraptu definitions have often
tiie merit of being amusing, what
ever may be said as to their correct
ness. “What on earth can tiiat
mean?” asked Hicks of Thackeray,
pointing to an inscription over a door
way. ‘‘Mutual Loan Office.” “I
don't know,” answered the novelist,
unless it means that two men who
have nothing agree to lend it to one
another.” Said Lord Wellesley to
Plunkct: “One of my aides-de-camp
has written a personal narrative of
his travels; pray, what is your defin
ition of ‘personal?’” “Well, iny
lord,” was Pliinket’B reply, “wo law
yers always consider personal as op
posed to real;” an explanation as
suggestive as that of the London
magistrate who interpreted a “house
keeper" as meaning “a sort of a
wife.” “Pray, my lord,” queried a
gentleman of a judge, “what is the
difference between common law and
ei;uity?” “Very little in the end,’’
responded his lordship; “atcommon
law you are none ior ai once; in
equity you are not so easily disposed
of. The former is a bullet which is
instantaneously and charmingly ef
fective: the latter an angler's hook,
which plays with the victim before it
kills him. Common law ig prussic
acid; equity is laudanum.’’ An
American contemplating setting a
law-suit going, his solicitor said ho
would undertake the matter for a
contingent fee. Meeting Mr. Bur
leigh soon afterward, the would-be
litigant asked that gentleman what a
contingent fee might he. “A contin
gent fee,” quoth Mr. Burleigh, ‘‘is
this—if the lawyer loses the case he
gets nothing; if he wins it you get
nothing." ‘‘Then I don’t get any
thing win or lose?” said his ques
tioner. “Well,” was the consolatory
rejoiner, “that's about the size of a
contingent fee.” So Brough was not
very much out in defining a lawyer
as a learned gentleman who rescues
your estates from your enemies and
keeps it himself.
The Birthplace of Great Southerners
A nicely worded paragrah is going
the rounds of the press under the title
of “Henry Clay’s Birthplace.” It calls
it Ashland, Ivy., and treats it with
pathos and feeling. The fact is Henry
1 lay w as not horn in Kentucky at all. |
He was a Virginia boy who first saw
the light in Hanover county, and did !
not. come to Kentucky until he was
over It). The greatest men of both
Kentucky and Tennessee have been
born in other States. Ben Harden,
the great orator of Kentucky, was
born in Pennsylvania; George M.
Bibb, Tyler’s Secretary of the Treas
ury, was born in Virginia; and Henry
Watterson, of the Courier-Journal,
first saw light in Washington, D. ('.
As to Tennessee, the matter is still
worse. Before the war it.had hardly
a man of national prominence who
had been born within its borders.
Presidents Jackson and Johnson were
born in North Carolina, as was, also,
J. K. Polk and H. L. White, who, it
will be remembered, was a presiden
tial candidate in the campaign of 1836.
Parson Brownlow was born in Vir
ginia, and came ’to Tennessee as a
circuit riding Methodist preacher.
Felix Grundy, a Virginian by birth,
had made a reputation and become
Chief Justice of Kentucky before be
moved to Tennessee, and Horace
Maynard, a Massachusetts college
graduate, emigrated to Tennesseo,
and started in life as a tutoh Aaion
V. Brown, the law partner of James
lv. Polk, and Postmaster-General un
iter Buchanan, came into Tennessee
from Virginia, at the ’age of 20, and
Sam Houston, Governorof the State,
Senator in Congress, and founder of I
the Texas Republic, was a Virginian !
bv birth.
The Tradition of The ‘‘Kone of Jar.
There is a tradition, dating from
the period of the Crusades, respect
ing a wild rose bush that had been
seen near the spot in Bethlehem of
our Lord's nativity. Marvelous tale*
were told by returning pilgr ims con
cerning it—to wit, tiia! its roses
blomncd perennially, and that it“
thorns never stung. Il was called
the Hose of Jerico, un i was pre
served as a precious relic, in the
churches. When thin tlov.tr was
placed in a v.t • of hole water during
Christmas night •ervl.v, il s.owly
Opened it' p t.e< ! revived into
a heathy and f.-'g an".' strangely
sweet, at d then it returned to It
faded condition. Tit" water used in
this mysterious o, option was cod
lo heal the nick. The first or Hie
os"»», again, is r i to leu • been
carried by the win i to the borders o;
Jerico of where it took :!• 'tame.
The Judge got home rather late the
other evening, and found » young ,
fellow sitting on the sofa with the
“sole daughter of his house and
heart.” "Well, sir,” said the'judi
cial gentleman ; “what are you doing
here?” "I have come into court,
Your Honor, for the defendant,” was
the ready reply.
When you visitor lravc Nvw Yo 'k City, save
bairgagc ami curri&ge hire, mid p j
at tin* Graml "nion Hotel, opposite Grand (cl- j
tml Depot. Elegant rooms, Inte l up at a f.ist
of one ntillian dollars, reduced to >1 and up
wards |H-r day. European plan. Elevator. Res
taurant sunplird with the best. Hors? cars,
s ages ami elevated railroad to all depot*. Fam
ilies can live better for leas money ft’ the Grand
Union Hotel than at a :iy other first-class hotel
in the Atty, Jan 23-lyr
FOUND in a General Merchandise Store.
Our good* aro not shelf-irurn. They
aro direct from Importer's
hands, consisting of
Mining Implements,
GEMS’ niiisiiura GOODS.
WS- Wo know yon can be pleased
Business permanently located.
Remember the Place!
Obtained for moderate fees. Send
model or drawing, we will advise free
if cliarge;and Make No Chauue un
less we obtain Patent.
For circulars, terms, and references
to actual clients in your own State or
souuty, address
C. A. SNOW & CO.,
Opposite Patent Office,
Washington, D. C.
Seminal Weakness, Impotence, Fhys
teal Debility, Loss of Manly lay
er, Pi anatare Exhaustion.
consequence* of early indiscretion, rids
incomparable Great English Remedy httsulremiy
ehiwved a world-wide reputation. It U infulli
\«t in restoring lost vigor, whether from iinpru
lv noe, si. knots, or old age. *
w Kor vale b\ ail principle Druggist*; ask for
; take no other ; if not on sale, scud direct to
us; will be mailed, meanly sea.el with full
direction* on receipt of money .
&4T Price, Wl per Package, or Six
Package* tor $5.
8 ifficient to cure most cases. Address
Wheeler & Co.,
Tins hew mill, with the latest
Improved end best machinery, is u#w
prepared to HU all orders for
Flour, Shorts,
A full supply of which is kept
constantly on hand by
At Battle Mountain, Ner.,
Wholesale and Retail,
C3?”Orders from a distance will
receive prompt attention.
K3T Addruss all order* and oommnnicattons
_ Paradise, Nevada,
Baltic Mountain, Nevada.
Das Wasser ist fur Ox und Schwioin.
Deni Menschem ^ab er Bier und Wein
The undersigned having refitted the
eld UNION BREWERY, and en
gaged the services of a FIRST
CLASS BREWER, is now prepared
to furnish his customers and the pub
lic in general with a good article of
Draught or Bottled
Jt-fr-Saloons and families will do wel
to give it a trial. Beer will bo deliv
ered to customers in Battle Mountain
and vicinity freo of charge, and is for
sale by the gallon, quart or glass at
the Brewery.
BRTNSDEN BROS., Pkofbibtois.
Having rented this old stand, we are
now prepared to furnish the
public with first-clasa
Which will be sold at tho lowest foe
sible rates.
The patronage of the public is respect
fully solicited.

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