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VOL. It. THE UMOH RECORD. PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING JAS. WItfSTAFf, VM. DEMOTT, Publishers and Proprictors ntt<r OH Blr*l Street, Between Myers and Hnntoou SlreH*. TERMS. One year per Mall s*>oo Bix months do 300 Three months d« : - 00 Delivered by Carrier per month .. 50 Single copies 10 ADVERTISEMENTS; Per square of tea tines or less, first insertion $3 00 Each subsequent insertion 1 50 A libera! discount will be made ic favor of those who advrrti'*’ by the year. Business Cards inserted on reasonable term*. BUSINESS CARDS. JOHN DICK, JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, NOTARY PUBLIC. Office—Theatre Building, opposite Court House, OROVILLE. JAMES GREEN, COMMISSIONER OF DEEDS FOR Novnrta Territory Office—. County Clerk's Office, Court House. F. M. SMITH, attorney and counsellor at law, Office—Up Stairs. Huotoon Street, Oroville. A. MAURICE, JR. ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW Will nra.-ti. e in all of tin- Counties of the Seo on.l .1 udioial District, and In the Supreme Coart. Office—on Bird street,between linntoon and 'lvors streets. Orutille. eep.2utf. E. S. OWEN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Forbestown. Rutte County, California. FAULKNER & Co. Corner Myers and Monloraery Streets, Oroville. E. LANK. \ {j.COSLY E. LANE &. Co. it .» m ■— bcm, Montgomery Street. OROA ILLL. ▲ G. SILFSOS. \ i TIIOS. CALLOW A. G. SIMPSON, Wholesale and ID tail Dealer in BOOKS VND Sl' A ITON EKV. STAPLE AND FANCY ARTICLES, Theatre Block, Huutoon street, Oroville. E. DUNHAM; r. S. ASSISTANT ASSESSOR OF RUTTE COUNTY, CAL. OFFII K—On Myers Street, Between Montgomery and Bird Streets, OROVILLE, J. M. BURT, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. AND NOTARY PUBLIC. Practices in the courts of the 2d Judicial District and in the Supreme court. OFFICE -In Burt's brick building, up stairs,on Bird street, Or»»ville. D. C. BURLINGAME, DENTIST. OFFICE—In Mathews' Brick Build mg. on Hunt >ou St., between Mont • g->mery and Bird Streets, OKOVII.LK. W. PRATT, M. D. I’HVSICIi N AND SUE G EON, Kuck Crcvk, Huff e Co-, C al. S. ROSENBAUM, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Office- -Court House. Oroville. JAS. O’BRIEN, M. D. I'HYSICIA N AND S U R G EON. Particular attention paid to Chronic Diseases, and all others common to this country. Has had large experience in hospital and family practice, and confidently hopes for a share of public patron age. outre—Within two doors of Clark A Bro.’s store. Myers street. Oroville. GEO. C. PERKINS, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALER IN GROCERIES FROVISIOMS AND PRODUCE. Corner Myers and Montgomery streets. Oroville. J. BLOCH &. Co., Wholesale A Retail Dealers in GROCERIES. PROVISIONS. AND PRODUCE. Opposite Wells Fargo A Co's. Office. Mont gomery Street. OROVILLE. CHARLES F. LOTT, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL! >R AT LAW. and notary public. Oroville Rrm Cor sty. Office—Bird st.. between Mversaad Huntoon. J. hamell, UNDERTAKER, BIRD STREET. OROVILLE. fjl O PRINTERS! A SUPER ROYAL WASHINGTON PRES? N.sr’r r.,w fnr a* ibi.ofTi'. THE WEEKLY UNION HILO HI). HOT LS, &C. ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL, Oroville. THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT fuIIy inform his friends and the public gene rally that he has rented the “ ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL," (formerly kept by Frank Johnson.) in Oroville. and he would he pleased to see his friends, when ever they will give him a all. ROBERT O'NEIL. Proprietor. Oroville. Jane 10th. l*o>3. UNION HOTEL. C orner Montgomery iV Myers Street, C) R O VILLE. This new brick and elegantly fur she . H lei stands f lr<t in the State for com fort and accommodation for the traveling public— every room being well ventilated and neatly fur nished. • The Table Is supplied with every LUXURY OF THE SEAS ON, and everything w ill be done to insure the Comfort of the guest of this House. In connec tion with this House is the Bar and Billiard Saloon. New Billard Tables of the Latest Patterns and Improvements. The Bar Will ilwavs be supplied with CHOICE LIQUORS aud CIGARS. PRICES MODERATE. The Office of California Stage Company Is at the UNION HOTEL. STAGES LEAVE THIS HOUSE DAILY, FOR All parts of the Country. 1(1 Sill iV MILI.KR. Proprietors. C apt. R-formerly of International Hotel. NOTICE. fMIO MY NUMEROUS OLD AND TRIED 9 friends that have stood by me so long and faithfully—permit me to inform you, one ami all. that I nave removed from the International Hotel to the New Brick Union Hotel.corner Montgom cry and Myers MretU Or-vilie—hoping that 1 may not see less of you, but olteuer. Yours with Respect. R. BIRD. Oroville, July 12th, ISG4. n 37 BARNUM RESTAURANT. Corner Monlgoim ry «V lluutoon Streets, OROVILLE. Till UNDERSIGNED. PRO /~\ v !° f i*iiorU' V informs the Public that he is pre;»ar« d t ■ fuDli meals at all 1. nr da\ and night, composed of all the and delica cies of the season which the market affords BALLS, PARTIES. Ami Assemblies of Every Nature, I wit - - tions. ia the best style and on the most liberal terms. t ted with 1 Restaurant is a BAR can always be found the best and every description of Liquors. Ice Cream. Having lately fitted up my Restaurant regardless of expense. I am prepared to receive customers, and will use my utmost endeavors to please all. TERMS: Hoard per Wrek .s.** 00 Slnjjle ’'teals . . ■£.*» Hoard per AVn k wltli Lodging. O'.> Lodgings per Nlglii vi-"* apldtf J. REYNOLD. Proprietor. WHAT CHEER HOUSE. OROVILLE, Montgomery street Between Myers ami Huntoon Streets. IlHi: SUBSCRIBER RESPECTFULLY IS forms his friends and the public, that he fur nishes at the above house the best board and -J -ging for C 'following prices: Board a d lodging per week (U* Board per week.. $5 00 Single meals j.'> Beds 25 and oO A Splendid Bar Containing the very best of Liquors and cigars has been added to the establishment. Call and examine for yourselves. R. OLIVER. GOLDEN GATE ESTAURANT, And Ice Cream Saloon. Comer of Montgomery and Huntoon Streets. OROVILLK . THU UNDERSI G N ED having repaired and fitted up the above Restaurant. will hereafter keep everything usually kept in a FIKST CLASS RESTAURANT! board per week t>;.no SINGLE MEALS ... ...}oCt*. Open Day and IVis;lit. ICE-CREAM'nmi-shed Families, Balls Parties, and assembles of every nature, at reasonable rates. Hatinc beer, created in the business for tbe past Sfteen years, re hopes to r:re ceneral satisfaction to ail. Meals a: all hours, dav and nicht. -■tie rth rrw-t carpenter. OROVIEEE, SATURDAY MOUMXC, SEPT. 10, I8«4. Third Congressional District—The Pro ceedings Concluded. In addition to the proceedings we published last week, of the Third Congressional District Convention, we give the following: In the convention, the best of feeling prevailed, not withstanding the warm contest for congres sional honors. The committee on permanent organization reported—For President, T. M. Amts ; for Secretaries. C. V. P. Hubbard and Dr. Wadsworth: NOMINATION’ OF CONGRESSMAN. Nominations were called for for a candidate for Representative in Congress from the Third Congressional District. R. C. Gaskill, ot Butte — Mr. President and Gentlemen of the Convention: It is a pleasure to me on this occasion to present for the consideration of this convention the name of a well known citizen of the Northern Dis trict of this State. Ills name has been con nected with the history of this State from its foundation to the present hour. He has a State end National reputation; he is an hon est. patriotic, loyal man. Gentlemen. I pre sent for your favorable consideration the name of John Bidwell, of Butte. [Applause ] It is not necessary for me on this occasion to speak in terms of high cnlogium of John Bid well: he is known to you all; and the delega tion from his county have come here and pre sented to you the name of that man because they believe the standard of the Union party borne in his hands will be borne higher than in the bands of any other man in this District. [Applause.] We have no personal animosi ties or feelings against any other ca 1 didate presented for your consideration, and the only considerations which induced us to present the name of John Bidwell are that we believe him to be a firm, decided, patriotic Union man. Wc believe that John Bidwell, far away from the shores of California, exercising bis high functions in the councils of the nation, will represent the sentiments of California truly and loyally. We believe that though far from ns. we can trust him. We know him to be an honest man. We know that every throb of his heart beats for Union and liberty, [Ap plause.] We know that when the infernal despotism of slavery tried to rat-e its iron hand over the Government of onr country, John Bidwell stood up in the Charleston convention and met the slave power defiantly, face to face (Applause.) When the California delegation in that Convention misrepresented the loyal and patriotic sentiment of California, John Bidwell alone stood true to the Government and the flag. (Applause ) We pledge to you, gentlemen of the convention, that if John Bidwell is elee’ed to the Congress of the Uni l( 'I States, so tar as his vote and influence is concerned, it will go in favor of causing the infernal curse of African slavery to be forever blotted out from the record of ibis republic. [Applause.| It is not necessary, perb ps, tor me to remind you that we have to meet the party arrayed in open hostility against this Government face to face. In this conflict thev have presented themselves before the people with the name of George B. McClellan as their standard bearer, and they have presented a platform which means treason and rebellion against this Government. That parly we have got to meet face to face, and with Gen. John Bidwell on our ticket they will be met with true and sound Union logic, with patriotic ma soning and loyal argument. Gentlemen of the convention, let us all, after this convention shall have nominated our candidates, be they who they may. return to our hills and valleys with a firm, undying determination that this iniquitous party, this enemy in the rear, this letl wing of treason, shall be forever wiped oat upon our shores. (Applause.] Let us endorse those patriotic sentiments, fully and freely, that wc have once indors.d in the State Convention. We accept the issue with all its consequences. We are fully determined, let the war cost what it may, let treason raise its hydra head on South Carolina soil, or on the prairi. s of Illinois, that from the pine clad hills of Maine to Alabama's flowery plains, that flag shall still forever float. (Applause). From the Granite bills of New Hampshire to Cali fornia's golden sands, though but one man be left to rear our banner of freedom aloft, that man shall still support it that the nations of the earth may be convinced that we are a peo ple worthy to be free. (Applause.) The first gun fired at Fort Sumter shattered the chains of four millions of bondsmen, and now it is a contest of freedom against despotism—liberty against slavery. The ball that commenced rolling in Charleston harbor has now been roi ling for four years, and let us pledge ourselves before Almighty God and onr country that it shall continue to roll onward and onward until despotism and slavery shall be rollelback further and farther, and fail at last into the abyss of non-existence- [Applause.) L. M. Foclke. of Siskiyou—l rise for the purpose of seconding the nomination just made W bile some of us might have had preferences 'or other candidates, we ail believe that John Bidwell can unite the entire strength of the party, and that he can poll more votes than any other man we can place onjour ticket. We all know his record, and we have confl dence in the sterling integrity of his character and his ability to grapple with the great ques tiers which may arise af'er the termination of the war. \\ e know that he will be a true Representative of the Union people of this district. It is unnecessary (or me to say more in eulogy of John Bidwill; 1 move that be be nominated by acclamation. [Applause.; J. U. McNabb, of Sonoma, said his delega tion came here instructed to vole for Thomas B Shannon. It would be a pleasant duty for them to do so, but that gentlemans name having been withdrawn they could not do bet ter than to give their vote to Mr. Bidwell,and they were a unit in his support. [Applause.] The question was pat. and John Bidwell, of Butte, was unanimously nominated by accla mation G. A Gillespie, of Solano .T C. bargee. Tuba, and R. C. Gaskil! of Butte were ap pointed as a committee to inform Mr. Bidwell of bis nomination and introduce tim to tbe Convention. The committee performed that duty, and introduced Mr. Bidwell. amid enthusiastic cheers. SPEECH OF JOBS BIDWELL. Ma. Bidwell said—Mr. President a d gen tleman of the Convention : I have no ad pate words in which to return to you tbe thanks which I feel, bat 1 can assure you that my earnestness in anything 1 undertake to aco m plish for tbe Union cause is bounded only by the extent of my ability. We have a c ..ntry to serve, and on tbe united actions of the loyal f these 1 ted States la momentous result. He who is indifferent to passing results at this time cannot be wholly patriotic. We are in the midst of scenes fraught with greater consequences than have threatened any other people on the (ace of this globe. All I can say to you to day is to ex teed to you again my tight hand and with it to pledge anew my fealty, and all the feeble exertions 1 am able to make, to do ad in my power to help y. u sustain the gh rious fl>g of our country. [Applause] We cannot all have our choice in anything, and especially we cannot all be gratified in our political prefer ences ; but for every public station a select in must be made. It is so with regard to the Chief Magistracy of our nation. Our car.ci date may not suit every man precisely : no man is perfect. But where is the man p ’sessing the honesty, tbe integrity and the experience of our present Chief Magistrate that c t.ld have been brought into competition—that could have been nominated and could have been elected? Not one? He is the man of the people—the man of the nation. [Applause] His triumphal election will be worth more for the Union than many victorious battles. The jovous tidings will be reverberated over the land, and across the seas to every nation on the earth, declaring to all that this, the great est and Ireest ol all nations has rtsolved 10 live. [Cheers.] Gentlemen ol the Convention, the history of our country is like the history of no other country. When the ponderous tome recording the history of this war shall be po rused, it will bo seen that a portion of our country, exasperated and deluded by false teachings and false doctrines, undertook to de s'roy this great govermcntal fabric—and lor what? Because a President of the United States had been elected in the constitutional manner—and for no other cause. It will also be read that those people wa re intlained and their passions aroused by tbe arts of dema gogues. Having nothing ou which to base tin ir -dil ..tb y are ts d evt ry vi passi in the human breast by means of slavery. That was the basis of the rebel ' m ; and in order when this war is over to be perfectly secure, and have a lusting peace—one that shall endure for centuries—it will be necessary to entirely eradicate the cause of all this troub le. [Applause] In this crisis it will not do to take any middle ground. When the ques tion of loyalty is under consideration, you must go to the extreme. You most not desert yonr country because, forsooth, some clouds obscure the political horizon. It your country wants friends, she wants them in the darkest hear cl her trial. [Applause.] Sunshine patriots arc not wanted now. Let us, my friends, unite in this campaign, and every man, shoulder to shoulder, with a determined purpose to know no bounds, carry this election to a triumphant i-sue. [Applause.] 1 know, my friends, that you have had great labors to perform, and your patience is already wearied, and as 1 shall hope to visit you in every county in the District be fore the election, 1 trust you will excuse brev ity on my part this time. With heartfelt gratitude 1 return to each and ail of you my most sincere thanks. [Applause.] SPEECH OF W. It. FAKES. W. H. Parks, of Sutter, was called for and said —Mr. President and Gentlemen of tbe Convention : You have listened for the last two or three days to gentlemen who had the pleasure of returning to you their sincere thanks for honors conferred upon them. I wish to add that to my numerous friends I de sire to return my sincere thanks for the fidelity and energy with which they have attempted to lead me forward. And to those gentleman who have honestly, sincerely arid manfully op posed me. 1 have to say that I hoid no malice, no hatred, no regrets, but all is peace among ns. [Applause ] The nominee meets my full approbation. It was a friendly contest,among t artast Union men, to select a stai dard K art r in the campaign before us. compared with which this little strife we have bt.cn engaged in tbe last few days sinks iut insig Tbe campaign in which the nominee of this Convention must be standard bearer is a c -m paign vast in its importance —one upon the success of which d-'pends the success of this nation. Upon tbe success of that campaign it depends whether the flag that waves t here to day shall remain tbe emblem of one grea 4 , undivided nation, or whether it shah be torn into little rags, to become the despicable representation of poor and puny dependencies. [ Applause.] Then. sirs, as one of tbe aspirants to this honorable position. I pledge you. for rnvself and for my friends, that we will return to our counties, and each and every one of ns will make the camp.aign as vigorously and with as much energy as we fcave displayed in the attempt to succeed here. It is a campaign which interests ns all ; it is one that must de cide this great s 4 rnggle. h esterday a nomina tion was made in Chicago for the Presidency bv a certain partv which, unfortunately, exists throughout these United tf’a'es—a party the success of which must confirm the division of this country and tbe destruction of this Gov ernment. That is tbe aim of that party. It is the War Democracy with peace proclivities that we have got to meet —peace proclivities in the platform to entice Peace Democrats, and a war mao at their head to catch Dsn -crats. Consequently oar campaign is going 10 b«i bard one. I: will require the u: strength of this party. and. as I Said be fore, I only wish to pledge to you tlat mr friends ar.d mysell w.ll be united with you in winning the victory in this campaign. Gen- I thank you for your courtesy in call ing me before you. [Applause ] SPEECH OF J. O. GOODWIN, Jesse 0. Goodwin, of Tuba, was called for and said —Mr. President and Gentlemen of Convention : I car, hardly conceive the object f r which I am called here : I do not believe 1 have been candidate enough to be considered sore [laughter 1 : Ido not think you require acy pledge fr. :u me at this time as to anything , f the - ■:!. You have nominated a persona! friend of mine, a man whom I told just before he left Washington that if he would be a can didate for Congress I would not. Therefore, your nomination this morning meets my full approbation. [Applause ] It is not necessa ry for me to say that I will work in this cam paign, when for three years I have frequently ridden twenty five miles and made three or lour speeches a day before the election. Hav g d: os that before. I am not going to stop n w—Richmond is not yet taken. [Applause.] I think we have a President at the head of the Administration and a General at the head ■f the army, both of whom arc sufficient for the war. We have given the enemy fifty bat ties a mon’h, and if that is not enough we will give them fifty more. [Cheers] And we propose to keep doing that until the last trai lor is strangled, as it is my hope he may be. t" fore g, ing to his long home. [Applause.] We have got work to do. We have got to meet a band of traitors in the rear—a party that has got a platform not merely with peace proclivities, but a treason platform. They mean treu-on only, and we must crush them out in the rear while our brave armies are crushing out treason in the front. [Applause ] We have got to conquer or be conquered. It is for os as free men who love our country ami its laws and institutions, above all others in the world, to say whether or not we w ill be serfs and slaves to a would-be aristocracy. [Ap plause.] We are to decide whether we shall be mis, table serfs or free men, with the stars and stripes as the emblems of our nationality. That is the work we have got before us, and I propose to labor in it with what of strength and ability 1 may poscss. [Applause.] 1 will do all in my power, will divide what little properly I have and then re divide it, and if necessary I will give myself us au offering for my country. [Applause.] We have to many men that are governed either by fear or ava live. One parly is afraid of a few dollars and cents, another cowardly sneak is afraid of being drafted. (Applause.) They have uot got the sentiment of true patriotism in their breast. We are the last hope of liberty ; this is the last America; no other continent re mains to he discovert d where liberty might lake up her home. Fail here and despotism reigns again, and man goes to serfdom and government by petty tyrants. Men among us say we are not in the rebellion. Why, we have got a set of traitors among us whose study is to see how much treason they can commit and yet escape a view of the bolts and bars of Alcatraz. (Applause.) They have no patrioti-m ; they do not care a rush for the Government or the country. They are sold to JtiT. Davis, to a man ; and at Chicago I sup pose the bill of sale of G. IT McClellan was all made out, and before he was nominated it was sent down and filed away in the archives at Richmond, if they have got any left, with the others that belong there. (Applause.) That a general! Why, a gentleman who was at Antietara told me he did not see General Mc- Clellan there. He was away back out of sight, and had 19.000 men to guard bis mortal car cass. while he staid out of the reach of danger: and when they wanted an advance, he refused for fear it would break Lis center. I think we will put him out of danger this time—out of any danger of being President of the United State-. (Applause. 1 tell you we have got work to do. Our enemies are in earnest. They have secret emissaries going all over the coun try. and they are organizing by ones and twos and threes. They are being organized by men who had their plans in 1800 to promote the miserable scheme of a Pacific Republic ; men who pledged themselves —I have the papers to show for it—that if war was once begun they would always oppose the reconstruction of the Prion. Now they arc claiming to be Union : but either they lied then or they lie now. and we have the documents to prove it on them. We have got these men to fight in this campaign, and with them lying is nothing. Whv. gentlemen, this war was conceived in the iniquity and perfidy of their friends—men who were solemnly sworn to support the Gov ernment of the United States and were taking its bounty. They have committed perjury, theft, r.'bberv. and now they are adding mur der bv the thousand. Now their followers among us are crying for peace, and that is just as big a lie as they ever told. (Applause.) We have got to fight them at the ballot box we have got to fight them in the field, and if necessary we have got to fight them single handed or in ary other way they please to come. (Applause.) We have not got an easy job. Thev are everywhere among ns. and the mean est of all the traitors are here—these vile Cop perheads, of at! detestable things in the world the most detestable- (Applause.) Let ns all do onr duty, and we will pat them to going on an incline which will laud them with their great forefather, the Devil, who first rebelled and got kicked out of heaven, and there' let them fight it ont. (Cheers and laughter.) A verv intemperate man in London, named Tapworth. recently went to bed tipsy, and in the night called for water. His daughter brought him lemonade in a bottle, and left him He was found dead next day with the bottle, which be must have tried to swallow, and so goffi rated himself, sticking out of bis mouth. MY FIRE AND I. When skies are dark and ibc winds are cclu. And >torms their wildest revels hold Unmindful us of such bitter weather, We too have cheiev times together, My fire and I. The flames !eap up. the embers glow. And both contrive to chuckle so, 1 often think the merry sound Is fairy laughter, echoing rvnnd, Mr fire and me. This pleasant music seems to say. “Alack it is a dismal day: But when the scene without is drear. More need of jovial prospects here Beside the fire.” Then straightway, to my charmed «ight. Come trooping in with footsteps light. That household hand of spirits gay Who keep all evil shapes away From fire and me. First Gratitude, in smile* arrayed I Contentment next—a modest maid— Then Peace and genial Gladness glide To their accustomed place beside My fire and me. Love lights the scene with smiling eyes; Faith comes to whisper of the skies; And Charity, a guest divine. Maketh her consecrated shrine Beside my fire. Then other visioned shapes appear To make these musing moments dear; For still the light of other days Flashes from out the fitful blaze That now I see. Oh, sacred memories! cherished still Through all Life’s changing good and ill. Ye shine upon my soul to-night As warm, as tender, and as bright As doth this fire I My spirit now is like the day By rainbows spanned, when storms go by For Resignation smiles at last O’er all the shadows of the Past, And thus I pray— Oh ! would that on this wild bleak night. All homes, like mine, were calm and bright; Would every heart might feel the glow, The light, the cheer, the warmth we know. My fire and 1! A Finny Occl-rrencr.—The Troy Times tells the following funny story about the loss of a looking glass: Day before yesterday, a thrifty citizen of West Troy, desirous to please his better half, and properly adorn his ‘palatial’ residence, purchased a twenty five dollar mirror, ‘which was cheap and just suited her.’ The purcha ser concluded to carry the mirror home him self, and not to trust its transmission thence to the perils of a porter. With tired muscle and pouring sweat, he arrived at the St. Charles Hotel corner. The ferry boat was on the other side of Jordan,’ and the owner of the precious mirror was thirsty—therefore the mir ror was stood up against the hotel sloop, on the sidewalk, and a small boy bidden to watch it. while its owner stepped into the St. Charles bar to get 'something to cool himself with.’ At this unlucky moment, a large Hilly goat.which enjoys the freedom of the city, and is familliar to all the residents in that vicinity for bis fa mous bucking powers, came leisurely along the sidewalk. The small boy in charge of the mirror fled on ibe double quick, in serious ap prehension of being bucked. The goat kept on his carreer until he caught sight of another goat reflected on the polished surface of the glass. Then stepping back some half dozen 'tops, reared aloft his caudal appendage, gave three or four preliminary shakes of the head, and rushed on his shadowy adversary with a power of buck which, of all the animal king dom. goats alone possess. The glass was shat tered in a spray of fragments, and the goat went through the back of the mirror up to bis shoulders. Whether the goat was more aston ished at the utter demolition of his opponent, or the owner of the mirror at his unexpected loss, is one of the problems yet unsolved. Affectation in the Clergy.—Gail Ham ilton thus satirizes the ‘'doth:’’ Was an orthodox minister ever known to use the word ’wife’ in the pulpit? From the manner in which be steers around it, one would suppose that its utterance was a ban. Your ‘consort,’ ‘companion,’ ‘the partner of your joys,’ or ‘sorrows,’ or ‘bosom,’ is recogni zed; but nobody ever prays for your ‘wife.’ Why is not just as well to say that Mr. A. will pieacb in the‘afternoon’as in the ‘after part of the day?* Why not say that the man whose life you are sketching was‘married’at a certain age, rather than that he ‘entered into the marriage relation?' Why in the pulpit shall we not hear our own tongue in which we were born? If dignity cannot stand Anglo Saxon, so much the worse for dignity. Good, common, honest, racy, idiomatic words and phrases are not only the strongest, but often the most eloquent. The cumbrous enphonisms of a pulpit patois are neither pleasant to the taste, nor good for food. Ike Heard From.— Mrs. Partington dis courses concerning Ike: “Betsy Jane writ to you about poor Isaac bein’ grafted into our noble army; it was during the late prevailing restriction. I’ve been so dreadful uneasy, laws a mel But Dan’l. at last we’ve heard of him by a neighbor who is home on a furrow. He —poor incocenll at ons t took his place, so neighbor Tibbies says, as First Corpulent, and soon proved so deficient that he was promoted to be an Ordinary Surgeon—poor childl But what the blessed doar knows about taking up arterials, and computation of lims, and the like surpasses me. Howsumever, if be can be the humble implement in the hands of the Lord of saving the lives of the gal las fellows whose heads have been disseminated by the berating open of pontoons and things, why we must sacrifice him freely, and may the Lord have mercy on bis solar system. A married lady lately consulted her lawyer on the following question—viz: “As I wedded Mr. S- for his wealth, and that wealth is now spent, am I a widow, and at liberty to marry again?” Teutonic Cutenese Three ragged. wretched topers stood sh;v. cring upon a street corner. They had cot a cect between them, and neither bad drank anything within aa hour. They debated the deeply interesting question—how to obtain the next glass ; after many imprac ticable snggestiors. one of the party said ; “1 have an ides ! Well a!! go into the next shop and drink." “Drink.” replied his companion*, "that s ea-ily said, hut who's to pay “Nobody. Do as I tel! you. Til lake the responsibility." Following the speaker's directions, bis two companions entered an adjoining saloon and called for whisky skins. Ihe place was kept by a Dutchman. After ho bad waited on his customers, and while they were enjoying their orthodox beverage at the counter, in walked toper No. 1. “How are ye?” said he to the Dutchman. “How ye do?' said the Dutchman, Teper No. 1 glanced suspiciously at topers Nos. 2 and 3. and beckoning the proprietor aside, asked mysteriously : “Do you know these men ?” The Dutchman started. “1 know no more as dat dey call for de whis ky skins.” “Don't take no money ol them." whispered No. 1. "Sir ? I do not take no money for the whisky skins ?" asked the astonished landlord “No : they are informers.” “Hey I intormers?" "Yes, they buy liquor pf you so as to inform on you.” “Ah 1 I understand,” said the Dutchman. “Dey not catch me. Tank you, sir. Von take something ?’’ "1 don’t object,” said toper No. l.and he took a swig with his companions. "What's to pay ?” said toper No. 2. potting his hand into his empty pocket. “Nothing,” said the Dutchmen “Me no sell liquor, me keeps it for my friens.” And having smiled the supposed informers out of the door, he manifested his gratitude by generously inviting the supposed anti informer to take a second glass. Of coarse. No. 1 did not decline the invitation. A certain Sunday school teacher was in the habit of making a collection ir his juvenile class for missionary objects. He was not a little surprised, however, one day, to find a country note among the weight of copper He was not long in finding it to be of a broken bank: and on asking the class who pot it Ibero the donor was pointed out to him by one who had seen him deposit it. ‘Didn't yon know that this note was good for nothing?' said the teacher. "Yes,'' answesed the boy. ‘Then what did you put it in the box for?’ The boy coolly replied, T didn't s'posc the little heath ens would know the difference, and thought it would be just as good. A Matter of f’RiNnn.K.—A Copperhead and a Union man came together at Sonoma the other day, and his snakeship was found laid out, face upwards, a lew minutes after The Union man was questioned as to the row, and he explained it as follows; "Why, you see, lie called me a d—d miscegenationator. I ain't no great on dictionary terms, and don't know exactly what he meant; bat I don't take no lip from his kind, no how, so I just busted him on general principles!" A shrewd genius in Norfolk, who appreci ates the high prices of things now-a-days. says that a shoe dealer in that town bought a stock of children s shoes lately and commenced mar king their value upon >kc heel. Every morn ing be made a new mark, and as the goods went up the marks went np, antil they finally covered the whole sole, and then went over upon the upper leather! Since then, that dea ler won't buy up anything smaller than "No. 10’s,” so that he can have a sufficient margin for the advanced prices. The local column of the Richmond Exami ner furnishes the following facctons item; For the first time in our varied experience, we saw, on Tuesday, a barrel of floor hauled up Gov ernor street, in a hearse! The public stared but the driver drove on. When we came to recollect that flour was five and six hundred dollars per barrel, and that the struggle for bread was one of life and death, wc better ap preciated the connection between the hearse and the barrel of flour.’ In one of tha late battles in Virginia. Mr Trafton S. Faislond, of company U. 17tb Maine regiment, was strack bye rifle bullet, while in the aet of discharging his own piece. It struck directly over the left breast, penetra ted a pocket Testament aj far a? the twentieth chapter of Aels, and crushed a miniature — breaking the glass—back of that, scarring the flesh by the blow. A lady named Hardman, in Drogheda Ire land, was buried lately, after having been, ac cording to her own wish, kept above ground, for eight days after death. She was a daugh ter of the lady whose story of premature burial is well known, and who came l« ii/* when her butler tried to cut a ring from her Unger after she had been placed in the family vault—the same vault in which the recently deceased now rests. A vonng lad of fourteen years of age, na med Hannan, who bad been living in one of the Catholic Orphan Asylums in New York since he was three yeyrs old, fell heir, foor or five weeks ago. it is said, to an estate in Ire land, worth which some distant re lation left to his quiet possession. The Louisville Journal says the Rebels have in the course of the year, about five days of “humiliation and prayer' and three hundred and sixty of btunilialion and curses. The San Francisco Alla contains an article beaded “Reminiscence of the Past. Could reminiscence' refer to the future? >G. 4,).