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The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, April 04, 1896, Morning, Image 3

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The Lafayette Advertiser
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY.
LAFAYETTE. - LOUISIANA.
AN ARGUMENT A LA SPANISH.
.iff Between Two Sons of Castile Which
Led to a Panic.
"If the average Spaniard is as pug- I
nacious and bloodthirsty as the pair we t
just had upstairs," said a man who lives <
in a flat uptown, "I think the Cuban e
patriots ave taken a mighty big job t
,on their ,ands About a month ago m
the family in the flat directly over we I
.advertised their parlors to let. The I
next day they were engaged by a law
yer, who said he wanted them for two 1
brothers, to whom he stood in the re- I
lation of guardian. lie said he would I
.be responsible for the rent. as the fa
'ther of the young men lived in Cuba
anl sent them an allowance every 4
month for their support. When the
brothers moved in it was seen that they
were two young Spaniards and as they
were rather mysterious in their move
ments, disappearing for a day or two at
a time and then locking themselves in
their apartments and spending the time
rolling cigarettes and sipping curacoa,
at was soon noised around that they had
something to do with the insurrection
in Cuba. The Spaniards themselves
added to these runrors by their con
,duct. They would Address each other
in the most violent terms, apparently
'hurling oaths both loud and deep.
Then they would rush toward each
*other with the most threatening ges
tures and just when e~ery one thought
'they were going to fight a mortal com
bat they would smile. roll the inevita
ble cigarette and walk off arm in arm.
"One morning just at daybreak the
:landlady was awakened by loud talk
ing and noise in the front room. It
-sounded as if the Spaniards were chas
ing each other, the flying footsteps be
ing accompanied vwith dull thuds. The
-racket roused the whole house. Sud
,denly there was an awful crash., A
,heavy piece of furniture had shattered
,the pier-glass This was followed by
a thumpingt~ ie that shook the whole
asflt, and co.id have been made only by
'the men tli ching and rolling over and
,over on tie Aeor. The landlady hur
nried downstairs in search of the janitor.
By the time they returned the noise
ihad coaed, and a knock on the door
-was tmunediately answered by one of
%the Spaniards.
"t'he room was a wreck. Every piece
tot 'furniture that was too large to be
'broken had been overturned. A blood
-stained razor lay on the carpet. The
hands and face of the Spaniards were
* criss-cross in slashes, and one wondered
-why they had taken the trouble to
.dress themselves, only to tear the
-clothes off each other. But they now
-seemed to be on the best of terms and
ridiculed the.idea that they had been
•quarzeling. When the broken furniture
sad is.or were pointed out to them
slaru*ed their shbulders and
merely had a little friend
VAi *g e lpanfl ly adver
but the landlady adver
. a' rooms to let."--Chicago News.
t4IGHT CLERKf'S EXPLANATION.
MEe Pat tn a lea t His Wife was to
lame.
It was time for the night clerk to
report for duty. He did not appear.
"The day clerk was sleepy and anxious
to go home. But, of course, he couldn't
desert his post. He stood it for two
'hours. Still the night clerk came not.
"Then the day clerk telephoned for the
toes to come down. The boss came,
marveled and stood watch until seven
.o'clock in the mornipg. Then the miss
ing man esme in, sheepish, but deter
umined Wknbw the worst.
"Bow do I stand?" was his first re
nnmark.
"Tell your story before I decide,"
eteraly commanded the boss.
Whereupon the delinquent unfolded
this strange tale: "I went home at the
usual time this morning and got to
abed. I rather overslept, for it was
imne o'clapk in the evening when I
.awoke. It did not take me long to dis
-cover that both my wife and my trous
ers were missing. My wife I could ac
couat for, because she had told me she
-was going to a masquerade party at
her sister's house, Which is out Cheek
t~owaga way. But what had become of
my trousers? I couldn't think, when
I happened to remember that I didn't
'know what character my wife intended
to represent. Evideatly it was a male
..haracter, and that solitary pair of
'trousers was now forming part of her
rdisguise. I swore for an hour at her
zthitbiesseas but that idn't bring
balbt breeks. We have noye=e
meighhrs, an , Iwas ashamed
t i+ for assistance. I thought of
rliw ng for a tall messenger boy and
berrowlsng his pants, but, unfortunate
S y, there was no call in our house. So
I had to worry and stew until daybreak,
-when my wife and the trousers came
home. She had won much admiration
Ia the character of Teddy the boot
'black, but I haven't time yet to tell
·e what I think of her. I was so anx
'tous to get down here. "Now," con
c.luded the night clerk, "how do I
.tOpd It y~a fire me, I'm going to
hoof it tb ~klahoma and get a divorce."
"We,. Jobni" aid the- bee, "I have
been dthtikng hbrd things about you
all night. But your story is too good
-not to go. I think the best thing to do,
considering your general faithfulness,
is to raise your pay the first of theyear,
so that you can aford to own two pairs
.of trbsers at a *time. "-Buffalo Ex
press.
-Delicate white laces may be cleaned
laying them smooth on wrapping
ak~ covering them with mag
another paper over this and
between the leaves of a
egal days. Brush out the
rand the lace wil be found
:a whqa new.
THE NOTARY'S BRIDE.
It would be hard to enumerate all
the services rendered Durrieux by his
friend Levignard. It may be that Dur
rieux realized them, but Levignard
never (,nce suspected, for the reason
that when Durrieux used his friend,
he neglected to tell him of it.
Durrieux lived at Robigny with his
wife and her niece. 1,hen he went to
Paris he stoutly declared his intention
to return home the same evening, but
oftener'it was the next day. IIe insist
ed that Levignard had made him lose
the last train; he did not hesitate to
add that his companion did it out of
malice. If Mine. Durrieux was unable
to find We 200 francs which she knew
she had placed in the drawer, her hus
band had loaned them to LevignardTo 1
relieve him of a temporary embarrass
ment. Durrieux even whispered to her
that it was some scandal.
Mine. Durrieux stopped him by ex
claiming: "That's enough. I forbid
you to associate with that fellow."
"You do not know him." answered
Durrieux. "No doubt he is a bit dis
sipated, but he has a heart of gold. lie
is sowing his wild oats, and I cannot
abandon him. His father intrusted him
to my care; if I do not counsel him.
he will become intemperate in his hab
its. Fortunately, he is a little afraid
of me."
To tell the truth, Durrieux, who had
suddenly become rich in the unbleached
cotton business, had but one desire in
life, and that was to go to Paris wit.i
out his wife as often as possible and
squander his money. lie found it con
venient tb cast upon the shoulders of
a third person the burden of his own
profligacy. Mme. Durrieux swallowed
these tales without suspicion, and the
sly fellow spent the day after his revel
in perfect peace, nursed by his wife,
who was a most estimable creature,
and by her niece, a bright young girl
whom one could always interest by
telling her that she would be married
some day.
For two or three years Durrieux
made use of his friend Levignard in
this manner, when the startling news
was received that Levignard was in
Robigny; that he was going to settle
there and take up the practice of no
tary.
This announcement did not please
Durrieux, for he would have to furnish
other excuses in the future to account
for missing the last train from Paris.
"Now, then," exclaimed Mme. Dur
rieux, "we shall see greatdoings; our
young ladies will have to look out for
themselvy. Point this rascal out to
me; Iam anxious to see him."
Her husband was alarmed, but casu
ally observed: "It is not necessary to
I speak to him of the pas. It would
annoy him, and, besides, it might in
Sjure him in the communiL."
But Mme. Durrieux had had plenty
of time to relate the stories confidential
I !y to the pharmacist's wife, to the col
lector, and to the grocer, who in their
e turn had spread them in the neighbor
hood, so that the new notary came to
Bobigny preceded by the most ques
tionable reputation.
Mme. Durrieux had pictured to her
self a Levignard with waxed mustache
and blond hair falling upon his shoul
ders; such a fop as would wear a long
S'3oat and sigh for a becoming uniform.
Now Levignard appeared with a long
beard, short black hair, dressed in a
severe frock coat, and wearing eye
jlasses. It was a great surprise to
' me. Durrieux; nevertheless, she
a scanned him cautiously, for one never
knows-"still water runs deep." She
o had opportunity to observe him closely,
C but she saw nothing to confirm the evil
' reports. In thinking it over, she con
e dluded that he must be very clever and
" was concealing his game.
Everybody knows how geod women
are, how anxious they are to save a
soul. It is a temptation cannot
resist, even if it has its peri. and they
enter into it with their whale hearts.
Sometimes they neglect their hus
bands. We do not accuse lme. Dur
rleux of this. To be sure, she nour
ished more and more a seeret resent
ment against her husband because he
had not resisted the evil advice of his
disselute friend. On the other hand,
she regarded the new notarq with an
inidulgence more and more marked,
and she bravely undertook the task of
pointing out to him the path t a sedate
life; but she never went beyond the
ilmits of a conventional sermons.
She lectured Levignard withaot show
ing her usual sympathetic tenderness,
and yet he was so far encouraged by
her gentleness that he resolved to put
an end to the lectures by askitg for the
hand of her niece. He had seen her
about, and bpldes had heardj hat she
would have a , 4ad thatjould be
mate ueful me. rrx.
"Never, so long as I lie! No, tideed!"
And the good woman dismisqed him
with so much energy that a casual ob
server might have thought there was
some spite about it.
Born of French parents, a bchelor,
honorably discharged from is regi
ment, a graduate of law, at list a no
tary, Levignard was talb at this
check, and confided in her h d.
"Indeed! my wife dim ?"
"Yes; can you tell me why,
"Well, you have sueh a deuaim repu
tation-"
These words had no sone~eescaped
Durriel'a lips than he wo" have
given the world to recall them.ei
"I a deuced reputation!" elaimed
Levignard. "How the devil coid I get
it? My habits are regular, .mork 12
hours a day, I am not intenrerate, I
eat little, and am not consciolp that I
have a single vice. A deuce reputa
tion!-then that is the reason year wife
has been moralizing all this Jime. I
insist upon seeing her and xplaln
ing-"
"Don't!" cried Durrieux; '"earens,
don't do that."
"What harm weonl it do?"
"1 don't know Jst what,* he an
C'er,,d. frif.htened at the aby open
ing before him; "but there is certainly
something. Besides--besides, you can
not decently present yourself at the '
house after your dismissal. But trust
yourself to your oad friend; I will ar
range the matter."
"Truly?"
"I tell you I will see to it.. I see a
i ay out, surely; but on condition that
you will not step inside my house until
I tell you. Do you promise me?"
"Oh, well, if that will help italong--"
"It is absolutely necessary. You
promise me that you will not show your
face?"
"I swear it."
They parted mutually satisfied. Lev
ignard was comforted by Durricux's
promise; the latter was reassured, fer
he knew lie could postpone, at least for
awhile, the dangerous explanation to I
his wife and Levignard. lie must still
find the solution which he had prom
ised, and, to tell the truth, he could
think of nothing that would prove sat
isfactory. lBut he was too kind-heart
ed not to feel remorse with respect to
his comrade, and to appease it he felt
that he must fulfill his promise.
When Mine. Durricux returned a lit
tle late from a walk, there seemed to
be something unusual in the home at
muosphere; her husband, with hit;
cheeks swelled out by something that
t:eemed to be suffocating him, turned
and twisted through the salon vith a
disconsolate look; as for her niece
she was assiluously playing the piano,
making discords, which showed that
this occupation wa. only a pretense.
"'W ell-what's the matter?" said
Mine. 1)urricux.
Her husband raised his hands to
heave. , loosened his cravat as though
he cou'.d scarcely breathe, and, gasp
ing, said: "Ask your niece."
Her niece, with her hands on her
head, leaned her elbows on the piano.
producing about as much harmony as
a moment. before, her plump and grace
iul shoulders shaking-perhaps with
sobs, perhaps with suppressed laugh
ter; it was hard to tell.
"Well," said Durrieux, who had at,
last succeeded in controlling himself,
"your niece went out during your ab
sence, and where do you think I found
her?"
"How should I know? You make
me uneasy; has anything happened to
her?"
"I found her at her lover's office."
Minme. Durrieux rushed to her niece,
seized her by the arms, and turned her
about, exposing a roguish face, young
and lovely, but enigmatical. For a
quarter of an hour it was impossible
to tell just what this pretty face ex
pressed - confusion, remorse, or the
torment a smothered laugh inflicts
upon one who tries to control it.
"Do you mean to tell me you have a
lover?" said Mme. Durrieux.
"She went to his office," interrupted
hr-r 1nele.
"You went to his office!"
"She even resorted to his house,"
again answered her uncle.
"You will be good enough to-"
But the chiid had had time to catch
up her handkerchief with a deft hand
and cover her face under pretext of
weeping; thenceforth it was vain to
try to question her.
"You little rascal!" Durrieux took
advantage of this to exclaim. "She
does not wish to answer, because she
has nothing to say; she does not wish
to tell the name of her lover, because
we do not approve of him. Yes, her
lover is the very one I have forbidden
her. It is a loser whom I decline to
sanction, and they are both aware of
it. It is a lover to whom both you and
I have closed our doors, and with good
reason; it is the notary."
He might just as well have called him
executioner; he could not have alluded
to the suitor's profession in a more dis
paraging manner.
"A child I looked upon as my own
daughter," he began again in a mild
tone, "I discover at the notary's in
clined to revolt against her aunt's au
thority as well as my own. What will
become of us? She cannot stay with
us after such an insult. It will be
necessary for her to leave the country.
But the scandal of her misconduct will
reflect upon us."
"Did anyone see her?" said Mme.
Derrieux; frightened at the gossip
that might ensue.
"She may have been seen, or she may
not; but. my dear, in our little com
munity, everytbody knows such things
as that. How unfortunate that this
scoundrel, Levignard, should have
such a cursed reputation. I should say
that they ought to marry at once, with
out delay. He is of a good family, and
later will inherit some property; be
sides, he already has an established po
sition which may become brilliant.
But to give him our niece would reflect
upon us, and surely I do not wish that
-no, it would be better to exile the un
fortunate young girl."
"What are you dreaming of? Are
you crazy? A marriage would be pref
erable to all this scandal. Go and
bring that scoundrel of a notary and
let's make an end of all this."
"I will not."
"I insist"
"I repeat what I said, my dear; I
will-not. That enda it."
"You-will-not! I shall send the
maid for him," and the imperious
woman ran to give orders about the
message.
After she had gone, both uncle and
niece sank into their chairs, exhausted
from their efforts to control their
laughter.
"But, uncle," said the notary's future
intended, "when poor Levignard finds
out that he has compromised me, he will
protest his innocence and my aunt will
accuse us of deceiving her."
"Don't distress yourself about Levi.
gnard," returned Durrieux, "I have
warned him,"-From the French ol
Jean Destrem, in San Francisco Ar
gonaut.
-The Columbia river of Canada it
1,400 miles in length; the stream of the
Ssame name in Oregon 1; 600.
A CHINESE LOVER'S GIFTS. .
They May Be Sausages or Even Veges
tables, But Never Candy. E
Ah L.'iu is a good little girl who lives
in the Presbyterian mission, away from
the pomps and! vanities of all thiswicked
world. E.ery Suntday.however,she goes
religiously to church along with the
other girls who have been rescued by
the kind-hearted ladies of the occidental
board. The passing of this procession
is an opportunity eagerly seized by
the eligible bachelors of Chinatown, 1
who turn out en miasse and line the
sidewalks along the route. each good
one cherishing the intention of see
ing Miss ('ulbertson for the hand of
the girl who strikes his fancy most.
One gay and sprightly bachelor was
particulatrly struck a couple of monthll
ago by the beauty of Ah Leen. lhe
waltched the procession pass '. ith eyes
only for her, and %\ hin shelt hadl entered
the sacred editifice. inlsteand of resigning
himself to go hliorn, hie inule a mighty
effort to overconome tIhe Itr.ejmlict's of
earlyV leduitlion aIn followied her into
chlirch. From that ilate a change ha1s
roine over tilt bachelor. ile no longer
burns punk at the s'hrines of his coun
trymen, nor coes he dissipate money in
havling his fortune told; in fact. he lhas
beconme in e\ery %\ay w\orthy of Ah
Letn, to \i hlol he is soon to be uniteid.
('ouirtlship. as it is understood in
Chinese circles, is a somewhat tame
and piractical affair. There is a regular
roultinet at th 'e misusion, in which a coll
promise is lnimade htl \\t ci Amlerican and
('hinese customs. The bridegroom
elect may set' his future bride, he may
even coliTerse' with her from opposite
Ssides of the room. but the proprieties
would be completetly outrage'l if the
betrothed couple wire to shake hands.
Two or three times a week the fiance
makes a call frol flive to ten minutes
in duration, and if he is desperately
enamored he never goes empty handed.
Sausages are a gift that are highly
appreciated, and Chinese vegetables are
also much esteemed. Fruit is frequent
ly brought to the engaged ladies, both
in the Presbyterianl and Methodist mis
sions, but it vould outrage Mongolian
etiquette to bestow candy. The love
I making is generally monosyllabic on
the part of the young lady, and even
the man finds his gift of conversation
languish. At the Presbyterian mission
a charming young ('hinese girl named
Ah Cheng, a professional interpreter.
satisfies etiquette by being present dur
r ing all the interviews. Many Chinese
T merchants have offered to lay their
t hands and hearts at Ah Cheng's feet,
a but she has seen so much of love-mak
- ing as an onlooker that she refuses to
e go through the ordeal of entertaining
a a fiance on her own account. Even
the touching romance of Ah Leen has
a not inclined the little interpreter to
follow her example.-San Francisco
t3 Call.
FELINE MODELS FOR ARTISTS.
l1ow Cats Are Caught and Made to Pose
for Painters.
The celebrated artist, Henrietta
Ronner of I'ari.;, who is the foremost
animal painter in the feline department
at. present, has been the subject of much
journalistic attention concerning her
methods of work among the lowly or
the aristocratic, for she paints cats of
both high and low degree. Brooklyn
has a kitten painter also. He did not
begin life as one, figures and fruit hay
lag always sttod for August Laux in
art. A patron wanted him to paint
a cat group once, and the artist suc
ceeded so well with the order that he
tcok felines on his list, and his name
has become largely associated with
them of late. Mr. Laux was found in
his pleasant studio on Carroll street,
and responded to the request to give
some information as to his methods
of work as follows: "I use a large
cage to put my little models in when T
am ready to paint them. If I want
a lively, bright subject I place a work
gasket in their bastile. That brings
out all the mischief there is in them.
They tangle the thread, roll the spools
about and assume the very Sauciest,
most comical expressions and poses.
When they are tired of playing they
go to sleep, and then again out comes
my note book and I jot down some
very pretty attitudes. Do you want
a quiet, pleasant little picture? Then
place a saucer of milk in the cage, and
the little animals will come around it,
and all you have to do is just to paint
them. The picture is almost sure to be
satisfactory if well handled."
Of course, Mr. Laux did not attain his
present felicity of delineating the cat
all at once. To paint Miss Tabby is
"one of those things which break your
heart," as Tait, the famous animal
painter, once said. Kittens are mer
curial. It requires long practice and
much concentration of mind to be able
to make a perfect sketch of grimalkin.
for often it must be done at lightning
speed.-Brooklyn Times.
A Depraved Mule.
One of the brightest Virginia women
in this city has a fund of anecdote
illustrative of life among the Old Io
minion darkies that is not surpassed
by Thomas Nelson Page himself. She
was telling the other night of a young
mule that had been shipped on a freight
train to a farmer in Fauquier county.
A tag had been tied securely around
his neck with a rope, with shipping
directions thereon, but in the course of
his journey the mule's hunger acid
natural depravity had tempted him to
chew up both tag and rope. This gave
the darky brakeman great concern. He
hurried to the caboose and saw the con
ductor.
"Mars George," he cried, "fo' Gawd,
whar yo' 'spects to put off dat colt?'
'E done eat up whar he gwine."-N. Y.
Press.
Learning the Lesson.
hIubby-When I first got married I
determined to have no large items of
expense in housekeeping, but I find
after all that it is the little things that
count.
Batch--How many have you?
"I have four."-Detroit Free Press.
I
FRESH ] OI.PLE.
Stories of Backwoods Life by the
Sage of Rocky Creek.
Danger in Store-Bought Manure and Cot
ton-A Pointer for the Politicans-A.
Sunburnt Nose -"Confasionment"
at the Castleberry Place.
[COPYRIG T. 1996.]
Hit was aomewh,-res late along in
the sixties, right tolerable soon after
the war, and
t h e Reverent
Simon Peter
Ransom w a s
preachin forth
the word at
that time to
the goodt peo
. pie dlown at
S(ooi Springs
' church. Thet
Sgood Lord
S\\." never blowed
the breath of life into t better Tman
than Simon Peter Ransom, but you
never could tell for certain when he
Wounld break out in a fresh place. I
recollect, as bright and clear as kf it
had come to pass yesterday, how he
startled the natites one Sunday morn
in. Dog fennel had put up in this
country that year, and it was growin
rank and promiseus everywhere.
"Finally brethren," says old man
Simon Peter, "I do verily believe that
the Yankees, the free niggers and the
dog fennel will bodaciously take this
country."
But if that good old man could but
only wake up to-day and come forth
onest more in the flesh and browse
around for a few (lays in the Rocky
Creek settlement, he would see wherein
he missed the bull's-eye. From all the
general appearments in this pleasant
skirt of woods, he would come over and
shake hands with me and say: "Store
bought manure, free niggers and mules
and cotton will bodaciously take this
country."
If things run on at the present lick
cotton will be down to four and five
cents a pound when the large and lovely
autumn comes again.
Searching the Family Records.
But to come on down from crop news
to politics-that reminds me of the
news I heard the other day from over
in the hill country to the extent that
Gus Crittenden is out as a candidate for
the office of county judge.
It has come to pass in these days that
if it want for burnin issues and joint
discussin and campaign orators this
f would be a monstrous dull world to
live in. A man that stays at home and
tends to his own business and keeps
cool and sober and honest and virtuous
Smought,maybe, live a long and peaceful
life and then die happy. But at the
same time he would miss a whole passle
of fun.
The woods are now full or canala.xes.
They are puttin up and comin out so
thick till by gracious you couldn't stir
'em with a stick. And that reminds
me of a good story they use to tell on
old man Josiah Jernigan.
Now, a better man than Josiah Jerni
gan neser lived and moved and had his
washing done in the Rocky Creek set
t]ement. He stood way up in the
church, and was sober as a judge and
straight as a shingle for common. But
one time the boys took and put the
old man on the reglar ticket for county
coroner. And at the convention that
day--in the general rally and confu
sionment-the old man stood treats
with the boys considerable and changed
his own breath most too frequent like.
Conseq'entially when he got home that
night he was as happy as a sun flower,
and as mellow as a maypop. He driv
up to the front gate and sorter turned
loose and fell out- left his mules to
take out and do their own feedin-and
rtaggered around to the kitchen, where
his good wife, Aunt Matilda Ann, was
fixin supper-flopped down in a chair
and opened up the meetin:
'"Tildan, unstan me, now," says he,
"did your father, or your granfather,
or your gret granfather, or your gret,
gret grandfather, or your gret, gret,
gret, g-re-t granfather-or any of
his kinnery-so fur as you know
ever take anything that didn't belong
td 'em?-or break into the county jail?
-or run away with another man's
family--or--or--or--"
"Josiah Jerniganl" says Aunt Ms
tilda Ann, "what in all this world do ail
you to-night?"
"Unstan me, Tildan," says he, "did
your mother or your graamother, or
your gret granmother, or your gret,
gret granmother, or your gret, gret,
gret, g-r-e-t granmother-or any of
her kinnery as fur as you know--ever
fly high or carry on any flirtationments
and scandalations with the neighbors
and bring the gray hairs of the family
dawn in sackcloth and ashes to the
grave, so help you God?"
"Sakes alive, Josiah Jernigan! are
you crazy as wel as drunk to-night?'
"Not if the court knows herself,"
says old man Josiah, "and she ruther
think she do. But-unstan me now,
Tildan, I am runnin for office on the
democratic ticket, and if there is any
cat in the meal tub-unstan me, Til
dan-if there is any cat in the meal
tub, the fur is bound to fly!"
Now, in spite of all his faults and his
failings and shortcomings, Josiah Jern
igan had a head on his shoulders
which was as long as a flour barrel and
as level as a squash. He was right about
it. You can git out your little note
book and set it down thatwhensomever
a man starts out in polities to serve
the people and save the countr-y-if
there is any cat in the meal tub, the fur
is bound to fly.
",The Thing Was Sunburnt."
From the great and growin question
of politics to the subject of whisky is
a quick and easy step. They run to
gether as natural and free as batter
cakes and molasses.
Oncst upon a time, when I had went
over to see old man Josiah Jernigan
and me and him went down on thn
creek land lookin over the crops, he
up and told me all about a quaint an({
pecurious game he got into with hih
good wife, wherein he played a losia
hand.
"In my young days, RTufe-for som,,
years after ma and Tildy Ann first got
married-I use to sorter divide my.
time between the Methodist church!
,and drinkin whisky," says he. "-,.
and the old lady had come to a gen
eral family understandin and w.,
pulled together smooth and lovely
as you please for a long time.
We took my nose for our guile post (,r
thermometer as it were. If my nos,,
got too all-fired red the old lady shW,
would come and tell me how I muust It
up a little on sperits and run mor,,
deeper in church matters. Likewiso
also, if my nose showed up rather pae
I wooult then check up on the prayer
meetins and Sunday sehsols and lov.,
feasts and the like of that, and go it
more heavier on licker.
"So things rocked almng smooth ,tnm:
right till one summer when I hail teeo
off down the country on a fishin trip
with the boys. When I returned ,ar:c
home late that evenin the old lady
come anl says to me. says slhe:
" 'Josiah. you are nrunnin too deep .-,
your sperits now. You n:ust slack up
a little and give more time to tha
chu rch.'
"I told her there must he a mistal:.
somewhcres. I knowed 1 hadn't lben
drinkin as free as common, IRufe, and
hi Jacks, I was so dry right then till
I was spittin dust. But Tildy Ann toM!
me jest to go to the lookin glass and
gaze on that nose. I went and look'i1
end the guil'd post was de:t,l
,quare agin nie. She was rel,
Rufe - red nf a woodpecker's
bill in pokeberry time. By gum,
.rhe was out in roses and vermillion
and turkey red. I couldn't take in my
sign, so there I was. Whereas, I had to
stand to the rack, let up on licker ant
tun more deeper on the church btwi
ness.
"And do you know, Rufe, I lost three
days and nights from my reglar husi
ness all on account of that blooman old
nose? Consound the luck, Rufe, th,
blame thing was sunburnt!"
A Good Time to Harry.
Now, in regards to news-the main.
est thing that has come to pass in the
Rocky Creek settlement durin last
week took place over at the Widder Caw
tleberry's on Sunday evenin.
The Castleberrys are mighty good
people for common, but the old lady
-levr was smart enough to run for con
gress, and here of late the Crazy Siloam
has been right seriously threatened
with her gentle presence.
Miss Sukey and Miss Nan are now
the onlyest children left to Mises Cas
tleberry, and you mought put both of
them on your old maid string. But
1hey still have a right smart company
over at the Castleberry place-par
ticlar on Sundays-and there was a big
crowd of young men there to see the
girls last Sunday evenin.
The young people had took their
seats and set down in the company
room---courtin and carryin on and hav
in a good time-when bless goodness
the old lady switched in, dressed to kill
and primped clean out of sight. It is
one of Mises Castleberry's crazy no
tions, you understand, that she must
fix up and go out into the company"
room every time young men call to see
the girls. And whilst the girls hasv
done their level blamdest to learn her
better, she is old and heady and dead
sot in her ways.
At any rates, she switched out
amongst the young people that Sunday
evenin, and then presently they had
the gonebyest most terriblest confu
sionment and scatteration goin on
around there you ever heard tell
perhaps.
"I was jest tellin Sukey and Nan
mornin," broke in the old lady all of
sudden, "that now was a mighty
time for them to pitch in and git
ried, as we have jest killed hogs an
got a new barrel of flour."
From what the boys tell me, the old
lady busted the meetin wide open right
then and there. Miss Nan she run
screamin out of the room, whilst Miss
Sukey she fainted and fell over in it.
After that the onlyest thing left for the
youngsters to do was to hunt the horse
rack and return back home. So they
rid off and left the widder and the girls
alone in their troubles.
BuFus SANDES-.
Ia the Woods in Winter Time.
As we wound alot g the little wood
land stream that slipped so softly by
we could scarcely hear it, we saw what
had become of hosts and hosts of leaves
of all varieties. The little stream uhas
i drowned them without a murmur; and.
Inow they lay, brown, red and amber,
0ron the shallowy bed. looking brighter
than when they fluttered, dry and rust
ling, along the ground. There were
great leaves of the sycamore (whicl
must be a thirsty tree, since it is so
often found by running water), leaver
broad as a giant's hand, brown i,_
leather, and with the smell of wet
leather. There were, also, large grape
vine leaves, wih curious patterns
wrought upon them by some insect -
scallops and scrollwork and fantastic:
zigzag lines. Thrre were dark-red oak
leaves, many of which hadil round little
halls growing upon them; and in every
ball was the egg of an insecct called thics
gall-fly. Then we recalled hor' the
stately wands of the golden rod whic:L
we had noticed in the lane would often
have a round, ve;y hard woody growth
in the middle of the stem. This, too.,
was a winter home--the cradle of :a
grub that wouldl lecoit1C in time :
gauzy-inged fy.--Edith l. 'Thoa.ia;
in St. Nicholas.
HIls leasure Was iiodified.
"]I shall't wear blo)wnrs an', oa..ng
-er," said : r' '"'k tc'r. dlccilcilly.
r "I' 11d 1 replied Mr. Dick,
era, who l ne no girm'nt.
t"rNo; the r I :et will be three
Sinchces sl i. '. World
.inches she

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