Richland beacon. [volume], May 17, 1873, Image 1

About Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890

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SILLE, LA., SATURDAY, MAY , 1873. WHOLE NO.
naLE LA,,STUR AY, AY 7, 873 WhO E N . 2 7.0
Scling, %
4040W`at4ths poas sing
rhYgwee a 6ist the Splrinlg;
was eace potent lquel.n h
itn blusoms and in gtt n..
k, was long agoi ;
Is she burinl [ te esno ,
Deaf to at l our erliL g- t
Pcr old Sprinfa
Windows rtling In the algWt;
Shaters that ya were tight
SG as c k sph the wall; m
Ghouls erbat amn tIN baall t
LChimneys shuddering In the breeze t
DolefIul dampsin everything- bi
such Is. Spring. I
Sunshine tra hard swhUe
On the bhu brows eds to smile; cl
Frosen ruts and sllppery walk; di
Gray old rops of last year's stalks; as
Shivering hens sad mopinD cows;
Curdled sap in leasess bogh,
Nipped by winter's icy sting
Such Is Spring. el
el
Yet the other day I berd
hiomething that A thousght bird.
lie was brave to some so soon,
But his papes were oat of tune;
And he chir as if each notei
Came from flanne round his throat, I1
And he had no heart to sing
Ab! poor thing.
If there eomes a little thaw, P
Still the air is chill and raw.
Here and there a patch of snow,
Iirtier than the ground below,
Dribbles down a marshy food,
Ankle yes stick is be mad fa
In the meadows-while you aing,
"TIIis Is pring." B
Are there violets in the sod ?
Crocuses beneath the clod 9
When will ores give us pesce ?
Or has Winter signed lease
For another month of frost,
Leaving Spring to pay the cast ?
For it seems hbe s is slg-- P
Thougbh 'tia Spring.
-('. P. Craach, s N. Y. sctde.
* O I.
1L0?. o01
"Lost! ell loast' w
How besautiful she was in her superb as
calmness, so graceful, so mild, and yet so U
majestic! Ak! I was a yonuger man as
then, of course, than I am now, and ps- t
sibly more impressible; but I thought
her tAen the most perfect retare I had
ever behekl. And evye now, looking back at
throtuh the g mists of time and w
the chiling of age, sad e
recalling what abe wa, I sae tat
earlier seatlient-sa lives in my memo
ry now, as she ved in my presence then, e
as the moat pt*etereature lever beheld. be
But, alau I s it not a prlie,not la t
exultation, but In aysdneas of heart, bi
hers was " the htal of beauty;" and
htal, Indeed, In her case It proved. It cc
was a nareto her feet; it was her rain
and her overthrow. I firmly believe it
was her beauty which led to her destrue
tion. Had she been less beautiful, less s
winniug, she might still have been-
But wiy do I atpate? I will tell ycu at
the short sad asry`hnd ou y judge a
for yourselves. t ! poory da_ bin
thing! Perhaps you will tbnk,a have
percuadsd mysdl to do that she was
Innocenat-the viatian sot thes crim
al-" more d agalst than sin
-ing." But I will tell the sad story as eas
m rtlWa I can, and you my judge
or  yOl rmember abe I
bt mortl, and a r you, ad Judle
leniently, asou would wih mbe
judged. I shllnever frges the first w
time I behld bher. I cannot tel you just
how long ago it was; It does not seemso as
very long a time tome, for I am anold
man now, and to the old time llip rapidly
by. Yes, I am an old mannow, ad
was not a young man then-at least I had
begunto look man upm las.mlnmdw
nephews, F raid cMarie, my
looking in that way for some time; but
young folks e salwa knhow - me b
as they think they do e wheaecrtainl
business matters - me to leave
my own quilet sealuded, butM
b tifl ridence he eo la , re-o u
sde for six months In the, to me,
Itl bustle of the lyt
Old basl"rs e aid o be prtienlar,
ad lhy hard to suit; and I dare
ay least I know Ifound it
bose v an to t s elty beal(
Heaven for that!) only a very temporary 0
Ihoetlistoralltbebestbouarndhts e
intown ad I took tbem all in regular
course e medIlal drus; but (the hbalt
At Ilast ad nabfi rt ha ee Lu
minst, m as eemm e of my
nes I wentos Mrs. swsld' bs
es areeom haes ea m s ah a
amie mmaW a W hay
tAndtL a tuhlyem Imb ue Tbe C
somld a bumarwit la n
ad polam ar isml by o ld ats a 1
td s mred twe ensbher S
en aedl a w a pasan
ser to im d d an
haom maw a t P a t u d psIa
usm ha  t see, b.t no
always
f fmuale loveld a a>1~b.
Sand I was wonderfully struck in
reet inR e. olbly myjooks
re4Ton~t o eSatI ws D yself Aware in
of, for I remember that as I involuntarily P
took a tchair near the one she occeupied i
.he silently drew herslf up with qu it
grace and dirnity, and leaving her seat,
wralked to the door with slow, gliding, at
noiseless step, and left the rpom. Per- tA
haps it was well she did so. iob I will
frankly own she was distracting my at- to
tention from my future landlady. But
the prelblnmarles were easily ettled; I I
becamesa harder, and hadsaoces. to re- i a
gret the chance which led me there. I
And thus it was that I became an in- liI
mate with that lovely being; and day by
day I saw her come gliding into the room, It
taking her place among us, afible still, al
but with a calm-I had almost said sa
haughty--resrve which nothiang could cx
break throuh, and which edistually r
checked il tomilirity; 'fr thoIh she ti
did not rql n ie, she never sted It, Ib
and It seemed to me she grew daily more ki
winning and beautiful. cV
I have said I was a contrmed old Imb
elor even then, and this is to be no hi
shcool-boy's tale of youthful love. I lu
was lon past all the enth asm of
my youth. Certainly I did admire her, ei
possibly I was learning to love her, ec
but it was the calm, unimpassioned co
love one bears to a beautifil aud lmooent n
child, or to some unprteated duph thing hi
whose very helplessness is a constant ap- he
peal to our k'lndly nature. liI
But let me describe her as she was
when I first sar her. I have mid that I t
was old then-sy, old, no doubt, as her at
father might hae been, or even it may u
be, as her greadther, If she had ose. I
But yet she was not young -I mean she w
was not a girl, not In the first bloom ot hi
youth, and her beauty was not of the rosy, at
pink and white, blushing type that poets isi
sing and lover-like boys rave about. No;
hers was the early maturity of lovellness. w
perfect in repose, with mild, thoughtful hi
eyes, intelligent and tender, trile sad at as
times, but lighting up with quick bril- i%
liancy as some new object met her view, tip
or some vivid thought darted Its m
light through her brain-for she was as
and symmetrical, yet swaying and
I supple as a young willow, and with un
studied gace in every quick, sinewy mo- p
tion.
She spent little upon dress ( was sure
she was nos wealthy): but though there d
was little variety her dress was always a
exquibsitely neat and in rfect good te, tr
Of some soft labsy i as- m
est shade of  e . that so
beautiful intio _a ag P P
to beautiful wae; tre; p
but fittrg with a n Dt mae w
work of natusre ta  e art tsI -
curve and outline of that flll and d
figure, and finished ofr beraldte di
throat with something -eey R r I S
made to trail sall wi t Ic
sweep as she walkel, b . dian al
casyuneon aoune Ib
Wlty. I lave always hloo hi
but I must own that as be it es
was graceful.
She never wore ornaments df ad,
no chain, no brooch, n6 rih as , nonot
even a weddg nhrr l thatt ever saw. al
but her own thick, gmesyaalr, always ar
ranged with serupulous eitn -no "
meretricious additions, no fe braids, no
waterfalls. no ringlets, no crimin; t
she wore her hair wlgart, mfJg w
as closely essible to t t e sape be er l
which GreOian beauty as wont to adorn wi
itself In the days whe t Greeaat ve d
to mandkind the peerle states es ed
9through uteatue to "L a SC M nie
world" But I vespoken a the fb
seace of a wedad-in, anthatp
mlands me that I have not )ygto
that she was a mother. She had t "M
-two beautlfal Ilttle rolly-o bloa. ao
eyed things wonderfully like dke fo
sa--little ly, ograeful- em p, I
always togser, rways playful. ,I
aved to see them trotting through
th. pasages, or climbing up and down
the stairs, bat they always avoided me, I
and it was a long time before I euld le
nar them. tI would I
out atme from a
with shy, sila
uly; Dat lf eIndto l wak meedl l
out my had, or ifth toward them,
p assages as if har nt l s _ But'
at las , b u alow I ron eiq -
Sor admiy te pli antgrae of
: dnalk mli dlabs; n p a eola -
IthiaWk se ya y feud of her
bseatifal lW. eIap, o tW s hhis
tohe shae oils em lsate hi
Swatek their untring frolics with a
s hltered beIlad wdow blad,! have
amobserved, lel i hu sports witha P
stpor s / m beomaPed asn e then c
SsItle was Ine meatmes atlmdim lial
,am l reserved *al sad if either
:tt ~slhe knew in a moment how tlo
;It. m .evert them o r
-I.T~ maeup my
ai iSteumad Soma thati eltood very C
a le s m lthewel. 1oopersom ever l
u l her. I d llt tik she hadA l
l beSd; but-was heaw aluow? I not
I e thewas, ana ee. ne to i
-I ga mam, thee was m i
Ie _tM h L-_atrI!. aIl
is r a ei g I
tesanms Some- a
ml IeMs eim if s altet rwe, n
her al , t e she ware; et maea ta
blead f - Ones inpartledeur wheul I
h adair hemmi her -omew wordstee
implekimbem, I hoed sewuasmoeS, t
r, therll,w hieete ·stbve; her half
SZ 'drly, a d aly rsig, wke
ty Of motlon," and the seem
unity was lost. c
Ob sheeoud but have told me, how
ab hdty would I have been her friend!:
San was it stopped the dow of her coen
As IMace? Why Were words denied be t
are Did she Sear me, or herself or otherst
Ily Poor thing! she could not speak; it was I
led impossible! She could not do it; I realize a
ie, it now. And when you reach the conclu- I
at, s!on of my story, you, too, will under- I
rg, stand why it was impossible for her then a
er- to have spoken.
rill But when, after some weeks' residence I
at- there, I had gained the good-will of my
tut simple-minded but kindly little landlady, c
S1 cautilously ventured to ask her to gratify I
re- my not, I think, unnatural curiosity; but
I found, to my surprise, she kiew but I
in- little more than I did myself. I
by "She came to me," she said, "just at c
an, the edge of the vening, one cold rainy I
Ill, sight, and I could not refuse to give her s
aid shelter, at least for the night, or till she t
rid could do better. I did not think of her t
lly e aiorh ; but sbheis o petty sd an I
he t le loent-iooking, oould not thm
it, her out of my hense--coukl I, now? I
mre know I am silly in such ways; but what I
could I do?" v
- I " Bet l it posside," I said, "that she e
no has remained here ever since, and you a
I knothlng more about her?"
of "No more than you do yourself, gen
er, eral," said Mrs. Honeywold. "I do not
er, even know where she lived before she a
led came here. I cannot question her, and I
ant now hIdeed, I have become so fond of t
ing her I should not be willing to part with a
sp- her; and I would not turn her and her I
little ones out of my house for the world !" f
wie Farther conversation elicited the fact t
it that she was not a boarder, but that sithe
ter and her little ones were the dependants
lty upon Mrs. Hoaneywold's charity. "But
se. I don't call it charity'," said the kind little t
the woman. "I am sure she more than earns
of her living, poor thing, by what she does !
sy, about the house. Why, I shouldn'tknow I
tas ow to do without her !" I
fo; What those important services might be a
as. which were aeaepte as equivalent to the t
Ihl board of three I did not feel justled in v
at asking; but I am sure it was no servile a
ril- labor she performed, and no menial sta- a
w, tion she held; for, though I sometimes a
its met her coming out of the chambers, or
ras saw her going down the basement stairs, I
htb her dress waurs ws the perfclom of I
all neatness, and in pIetl order, while my Ii
nd good landlady herself, though always a
n- clean and respectable, was apt sometimes, p
so- poor woman ! to look a littl-jst a little
heated, and tumbled, and *a, dauciisk.
ne But why do I linger over the trifling a
eredetails? Only, I believe, becaus I have
tys a natural shrinking from reaching the
te, tragical denouensent of my story. Butit v
as must be reached, and it is useles to elter k
t. thus on the way.
so One fine summerday I had made an ap- tl
g pointment with a rend to drive out to his h
e place in the environs of the dty and dine
he with him, returning in the evening.
my When I came down in the afternoon, I
ly dressed for my excursion, I went into the
ite dining-room to tell Mrs. Honeywold she y
'r need not wait tea for me. As I came
fui back through the parlor she was there
an alone. She was sitting onthesofa. A d
1g. book lay near her, but I do not think she it
ins had been reading. She was s.ltting per u
es, fectly still, as if lIst in reverie, and her y
Sit eyes looked heavy with sleep or a
But as I passed out of the room oo a 0
d, back. I saw she had risen to her fet, and (1
ot standing with her gracefuhl figure drawna
Sup to Its fll height,sh was looking after a
me, with a look which I flattered myself
was a look of interest. Ah, ow well I h
relnember that look! b
The day had been a beautiful one, a
no though sultry; but in the earlyweaing ti
we had a heavy thunder shower, the vi a
Slece of the summer rain delaying my re
in turn to the city for an hour or two; and
when the rain ceased, the evening was a
still starless, cloudy, and damp; sd as I a
I drove back to town I remember that the I1
be night air, although somewhat frshened (I
bythe rain was warm, and heavy with a
the sent of unaseen lowera. t
It was late when I reached the quiet a
steet where I had taken up my abodeand I
as I mounted the stepseI nvoluntsrll Wt -
a brt, nigh ty.,ba to my prill II
d te bhllm door not oly unstened,
Sbut little way opened.
b Why, how, is this, Mrs. e
I ualas my landlady met me n thall
"Do you know that your street-door was
"Yes," she said, quietly, "I know It." p
S"But is it safe?" I said, as I turned to
2a' lock thedoor; "and "t lal toeP' q
Ped "I do not think there was any danger"
she aid. "I was on the watch; I was n
a' the hall myself waiting."
"Not waiting for me, I hpe I" ld I; p
But "lst was ely unneesaay."
"No, not for you," bshe answered. "I b
presumeyou can take care of yourself;
but," he added, in a low tone, "she is a
ea t, ad I was dta to let hear aIn." d
,'Out rt this tem o ablgh thl t eems d
r I Where Ius a gone
"I do not anow."
of "And how long has she been goneP" I
aked, as I hag up my hat.
I "I esanot tell just whabt time she wenat it
a out," she said; ,"Ikmow she wasla thea
den with the little ones, sad came in Just
h beisa su. After tehad had their uner
S ryae to bed Iw her In the pr e
hd wen I came Intot room#
nsheae n ad she hasnotre
a Oh, then she went m t belor the rin,
did sher' a
" 'Yes, r; ooe time beAt the riai."
"o, then that explas it she was
to There Ia. s s to
: alnarded to yea.. .Jatnos tup :
"But I don't lihke to shut her out, gen
erl: I should mt epawinLk."
SNoemem! nonsense!" I aMid. "Go
l, to bed, you silly woman; yaou will hear
to herwhen she eemes, o urse,ad ema
comedown and lebt her in." And sr ay
I, iretired to my own room.
mTnext moranlagt bralt. I no
ay What tme dM sh come lm?"
S"S bios t come hom e yet,amd I u
- r y saxlr abom t it."
a "No wed of that, I trust," I said, rs.
S"se will come this morning, I
le. "I do't know. Iqs lwa meof
9- tI do't lknow whatto maskeof it.
a. andleot te s. tu m b lessaitdte tbla a
an shted ;i a e nemd mo a
ken L hsS loving m1et te- o'tmUdad 1
sa Ieudil."
, eI they P' I bed. "Do
a t n to isa har muhlP'
hey " ourheart, m; Iana'tsay they
saw do; theyaretooyoung. Teyareodn
al in the kitchen with Bhr arnd Just as
sly a grgs. rip Sublitle thingsl he no
ke feeling."
, "I sh you would takeit amseasllyas
S they do," I aid.
a- "I can't; I do not bulew abe will ever
come back."
r "Never come b ick? never ! Why, what
do-ou mean? Do you think she has run
? "No; not of her own accord. But I
Y think she has been spirited away. She
a was too handsome toe out in the streets
e alone in the evening. And Barbara has
been telling me such sbocking things-of
murder and everything. Barbara says
n she knows there are men In the city who a
would not heaitate to carry her off and
kill her. She says she knows there are."
"Good gracious! Barbara must have a
choice circle of acqualntance, certainly. It
Is all nonsense. Barb isa gooe,and you
t shouldn't listen to her; she has made you
t fairly nervous. It is absurd. Just think!
kidnaping and murder insqul hrstisn
t city like this! Why, the ides is too pre
r posterous ?" Yet, as I walked down the
r street after breakait, could not help ay
e thoughts reverting to the sad story of
r those two young and beautiful marrled t
women in New 'ork, who, it was said, t
i left their happy homes, where they were 3
I loving and beloved, and in full daylight
t went out into the streets to shop or pay a
visits, and never returned; no tidings l
a ever came from them, the most vigilant -
a search failed to discover them, and con
jecture Itself could form no clew to their
t When I returned at dinner-time I found a
a matters still wmse. She had not returned.
I My poor landlady was almost in hysterics, t
Sthough she tried hard to control herself; i
I and Basara, who had no self-control,
r was audible in her grief, and I began to
feel myself that the chanoes of her safe re
turn were growing less and less.
e " What is there I can do, Mrs. Honey- e
wold?" I said. "You may command my
t services, if you will only tell me what you a
think I had better do."
s "Oh, thank you, thank you, General
a Anchester! I have been all round the P
neighborhood myself this morning; but I
If you would be willing to see the police- t
Smen, and go to the city-hall and speak to ii
" the town-rier (for such foblks never mind
a what a woman says), and if you would t
not think it too much trouble, just write ii
an advertsemes for the papers, and ulb
,a reward hr ma." I
r "Of course I will," I said, and I set off.
I did not spare hyself; I visited all the e
i parlieus of the city; I posted up notices b
in various directions; I wrote advertise- 8
a ments to sppea in several of the local t
papers, doubling the reward Mrs. Hoey
H wold had named; I interviewed the city
crier, and was interviewed by the police.
men. One of the latter, I faneled,aeemed e
to take more interest than the rest. He
SIllowed me down stairs, and indicated a
wish for a private interview, without the
knowledge of his chief.
" I think, general," he bean; conflden
tIaly, "you said as how the party was I
han some!" c
"Yes," I said, "very handsome." c
"And youn, lr?--dld you say young? d
Nooffnse,Iho
" "Yes," I sid; "yet no, not very d
y the mother of twls.ý e"
"A'Ah!" satM the pelcsi a, 9nhg P
slowly and delibe rately; "I see. I guess
it is an awkward fix, rather. But I'm 1i
with you, general; I'll do what 1 an for d
you, seebg as how you look like a gentle- c
man as wouldn't hesitate to do the gener- 11
oIW thing." Here he paused, but he e
I looted at me so sia tly that I invol
i untarily handed hM-a ll bank-note as
a retainer. tl
e" Thank ye, sir; thank yopr honor," 1
She said,as te rady hnd osed over the
bribe. "That's hbme of you, gan- b
eral, that is. and I'11 do my best for you;
that's so. But still, at the same time. I
must say it looks kind of blue."
" Blue! howdo you mean?"
" Well, I mean justthis. If she is any
wheres round about here. and is ' O K,'
as we say, in course she'll come bek to n
them young onesofhern; and if shbe don't M
I '11 do y very bounden best for them;
n course I will-but I doubt if she ever
turns up in this best again. I've knowed t
something of such thines In my time, and I
I gUess shbe turns up at all, you'll find
she has goie to a distant market. But
I'll do my best." C
And so, ad, weary, and discourad I t
returned home at nlat, only to `lear
there were no tidings the missing one.
" I give her p now," said my weeping ca
I andl " shall neversee her
She is t forem I and  aese twoor
pet little creatures-" a
"By-the-way," I said, "I wanted to a
mak to you about them. If she never i
retrn. what do youa propose to do ti
with them?'
"Keep them," said the generousandim- it
lpalre little woman.
"I wanted to say, if she does not re- A
Sturm, I will, if you like, relieve you of one a
; of them. Myslaster who lives with me, a
Sand keeps myhouse, Ja 7 hd, ten- a
dr-bhearted woman. There areno chll fi
a dram ln time hoe d she woald. Iam I
r, bevery the poor male ng.
[ " No, no! sbbd the poor woman; "Ia
cawot part them. Iam a poor man, d
it is true, int not too poor to ive tema s,
. home; and while I have aI tand a sup
*rmylf the hall have one too. The
poor mother them rean, df she j
o we deseturia he shall fad them here.
And if she ew returns, thea-"
And she never d(lid return, andno tid
tygs of herfae ever reabed s. If she
was eottewy by artMhaldtMmal t $
' or Lk o-apd er ae volee, wo knew'
she win the most perhet esene,
beheld my lfel I am eaureaheonever
desertd ha two pretty little kittmt of
Sher own secord. And if dumb
thag-he was stle ad k olldhr her
beautilal far, still I ay. as I sed at irt,
r she was "more ndagalnst than ala
Thestidenatb a se.
Housas on streets runnnaarlyorth
and south are fr to those ls
eased on them et east and wc, la a
-O. on . te rear. Thus dumpuem Is ex
pelled, and the whae edle Is dry ad I
Ia b~hse is - - easI t d wedatstet, I
those fruta h n st e deslly the
hbet for a kem, ash sun's as
-lan on the yarddie kithe. and usual
e the street. Thus erammeed, the
Slhack rooms ae newer so lssmmes, salt
ail, or eanssiholy warmed hn witeer a
Sventilated in summer, as when the i
soth aile. OpMeni obe the street, the
Tfd ntof so tsbodhlt atd air by 1
a rea of the equent awing of the frent:
'5 door.-Bs.
NO an moment iles but puts Its slekle
in lathe eld of life, and mows down its
thousds with their Joys ad cares,
. IIUCULLAN US PARAUI 'lU&.
it A vyrloo bualaess-Remderiog lard. a
THua child who cried for an hour didn't
get it.
Ir a miss is as good as a mile, how much
x better is a Mrs. ?
Woxsax can now be elected school off
Scers in Illinois.
s A TRau American is too proud to beg 1
o and too honest to steal. lie gets trusted.
i W aw is It necessary to mention that the ii
" victims of suspended animation were "
a "well brought up ?"
t A LOCAL paper in Iowa records the ae- 11
e cidental shooting of a doctor. and has -
"* strong fears of his recovery."
Tra Memphis AoseerseAe says this
year's eotton planting in the Southern
States will be the most extensive since the
A TanRs IIHALr man has a fine colle-h
I tion of walking canes, which have been d
thrown atan ill-natured dog in his front
Syard.
t ExcGLISIax look upon all other people
Sas foreigners,and firmly believe that they l
a will meet none of them in the other world
t -which is good for the freigner. p
Yorxo lady (who is tired of his oomn. a
r pany): "You aan't a bit nervous are you, E
Mr. Poet? All my gentlemen acquaint- It
aI nces start when it strikes twelve." ti
* " I'x so thirsty," said a boy at work in
the corn field. "Well, work away," said cl
his industrious kther. " Yog know the Il
prophet says: ' Hoe, every one that thirst- is
o eth.'" au
"MrnIan is a very serious thing, sir," bi
said a judge to a convicted prisoner. "It el
is next to stealing a horse or a mule, sir, t
and I shall send you to the State prison 01
for six years, sir." a
AT a spirit meeting the other night a il
e gentleman requested the medium to ask
t what amusements were most popular in
the spirit world. The reply was, " Read
p ing of obituary notices." Ji
SI xa can give an approximate guess at hi
I the immensity of the coming wheat crop m
e in California, when it is known that the o
r producers are negotiating for fifteen mil- o
limr sacks to hold it.
Ax Alabama paper sayof a recently Is
e elected member of the Legislature, that he II
has already shown his devotion to the in
State by nine years' gratuitous service in to
the State pitentiary.
Just now that we are getting ready for to
our new postal plaything, from which we f
expect so much, it Is inastuctive to oome o
across In the English papers so often an ki
Item headed "The P l' Cfard Nuisance." oi
A wax who has a red-beaded sweet
heart addressed her as "Sweet Auburn,
loveliest of the plain." Sweet Auburn ni
got mad about it. She objected to being 't
classed amon the"plaln, even thoug 0
called the lovelest of them.
A xmxo's fool who was condemned to
die, was allowed to choose the form of c
Sdeath, and chose ol age. An Iowa girl, o0
b bltasked what form of death she pre
brred,remted that if she must die she th
preferred to be smothered-with kisses. Sp
s A Wocacrrsa, Mass., gentleman, who Me
a locked his combination sae on the word ~o
r ' ban " was surprised when he gave his m
clerk the word that hewas unable to lock na
It, until he aedentally discovered that his tu
employer habitually spelled it " bene" ca
Ten Massachusetts Solons p to as
Sregulate the sale f "hen f uit" byeila
tion-that is, to have eggs sold by weight w
instead of by the dosen. It iq a sort of hi
contest between Shsngha ansd Bate- of
between the barn yard heavy and light or
weights. w
Prxca thinks that if a young lady tl
wants to keep her hands ee from chaps, Jo
all she has to do is to dress in the present ti
fashion, and t itbe knownt she has la
bcl e haps, wmi ten et her and E
alone very severely. FI
WmtiE the elivized world was feeling
I the full shoek of the wreck of the AS. W
lantic, and the bodies of the dead still lay
frozen on the beach, a man in Toronto o'
sent the followng unique dilpateh tow
Capt. Wlbmns : "This Is the best market
for sale of damaged goods. iSJ me hear
from you."
AN attempt is shortly to m b sa
cross the feetam nm lnalong
5ne Is-named the D , and will arry g1
a crew of three men, additeion to her re
in. The oeet is to hut esa otter, a
awi re stated to be very plentifl o c
the Japanese ecoast. r
GOoNo up and down an hotel elevators is
Is considered by physioas to be a bene- ri
fidel exercise in some nervous disorders. ar
An old lady, whose physieian. pre
a Id the elevator arr wittaont
any speelal explston, has tuaken the wi
advice Uteally, and now maes herelf s
Sfrautic every dhy with brandy and soda•
water. f
IvT lly becomes the Pieci slope totry
toclaim all the rare and detll fruits
ofthe esrthad the eqaily tpro
dmtions of tke s and yet we eethat
without hesitancy it claims to dig up on
IMe beaches elams that weight from one wa
posad to a peond and a hlf Of eonrse th
they a not oo.d any" he ad thi n ra
Imakel th
INSWnscIZNt RuIsox.-In an English 5
cbhUrh, mrecetly, aftertheuiatien ofl -
Stheab oa nsmanrzebCy tbe miataer, a w]
e ,in a t sntrmL yve, f,'ade I;ly
Stbeas between a certan neonp On
es t ole tbr to- " I
Ia l? he sadlio eilto the intended I
bride-" I had'iam*id H a-nah my- t
r self." His reason was not consideredaf. -
Seient.
Tab., miot h oo te i or w ,icap ar
made of wood, whih, manse of the a
seect of crpet is hewn i and Im- e
h ibLsr ti~ificnt lthbe to eas pp
iseland abond t rInd oods 5for
the .tlltaaonerelholw lkt m
lormorewr h ret "i chace.
l A camrr Scot, who had sacepted the a
·. e flee oeleer anaeueme Wld a made b,
ab h belleeW that the remumm wra s
Ssixlapene sech Slna wdM a b etif mal
e ea New.Yer's ha
1r prgeo "b es I .tokao aa
e prosld pero of that er w le o
t west, an pel Wehgtom am n-gn r
m ear have a better moe: are Sr th S
at Middle g oMathe eenter of the poli i
cal and matrialforces of America. Iowa t
saslarge as all New Egland, exceta
s third partof Maine. Her white La
t tio he 183 (as part of W oa n was
10,31; li 1870, 1,91,7; betha s year
(1873). nearly a million and a half. She
has 3,200 miles of railway, no baren land
at all, a bountiful supply of water and
water-power, abundance of building- pi
stone, three and a half million acres of h
wood-and 20,000 square miles of coal lands i1
-almost four times as much as all those of ti
Great Britain. She produeesalready a sur- it
plus of a thousand million bushels of farm
crops (the book says "agriculura pro
ducts;' but we hiven't time'. :a;.ld having b
juast made a beginning in manufactures. o
is turning out as yet only $22,000,000 t)
worth in a year. Her climate is an invig- tq
orating temperate one, just ft tor farm- t
ing. fruit-growing. and stoek-ralsing. y
-From Old and New for May. d
- ----... .---- -
The Source of Humor.
a
A atca·rxr writer lashes himself into a st
fury over the iniquities of our American as
humorists, and denounces them, one and a
all, as "liars and lovers of lies." lie has oi
discovered that "in almost every state- hi
ment they make they are guilty of the a
grossest exaggeration," and from this he a
argues that they have no love of truth in he
their souls, but are utterly and almost ir- hi
redeemably bad. We are half tempted to re
print the article entire, for the same rea- SI
son that Mark Twain published a serious w
English review of the Innocents, because th
it was the funniest thing he could possibly ph
think of. of
This censor of the genial humorists br
clearly has no conception of what humor sh
i , else he would have discovered that it wi
is always and necessarily an exaggeration, te
and that our American writers in this se
branch of literature are by no means pe- NI
culiar in tnis regard. Leigh Hunt's die- Ii
tum was true, that humor is an ebullition so
of buoyant animal spirits, and buoyant St
animal spirits express themselves always me
In exaggeration, because they themselves ev
are an exaggeration. Your bright, en- Sb
thusiastic boy. fairly running over with me
energy and life, is sutre to see a thousand at
blackbirds in a peach tree on any bright to
June morning. and yet we never think st
him a liar becaume his young eyes see sit
more of joyousness in life than our older rm
ones possibly can. And it is something pa
of this same exaggerated appreciation of to
pleasutratlle ideas which makes the humor. lI
ist "slop over." to our great delight. ese
Ills animal spirits enable him to see more fat
in men and things than there really is in loi
them, and he jubilantly tells us, with pen I
or pencil, the things which he sees-not ap
to deceive us, but to let us shabare in the to
fun he has in the sight. Our enjoyment no
of humor is of the keenest and heartiest be
kind, chiefly because the buoyant spirit ro
of which humor is born is Irresistibly con- fir
tagious. tic
And this isthe reason that so small a rn
number of rliters, comparatively, achieve th
anything like a genuine success in humor- in
ons writing. Intellectual force, inuustry, Ih
acuteness of perception, imagination-all the
these are necessary to the humor- of
ist, but these alone are not sue- eel
eient. Humor is not the product in,
of intellect, or of the ifas~ ation. ".
or of the will, or of industry, or of all so
these combined. The buoyant animal mi
spirit, the perpetual overflowing of the me
sol is the first and chief requisite. And Sh
so humorous books or pictures are not so tic
much works of art as manifestations of pa
nature, and there Is no branch of liter- He
ture or art in which talent and industry ba
count for so little, and genius for o much, he
as in this. tal
But while there are very few people p
whose buoyancey is auiceat to make them a
humorists, nearly all of us have enough te
of animal spirits to make us keen relish- wi
ers of humor. Now and then we meet an
with an exception, but these are so rare pa
that the man who " cannot understand a •e
joke" Is commonly regarded as himself
the best of all possiblejok. We never he
laughed more Immoderately than we did Sb
over the manuscript of an excellent ederI
ryman, submitted to us for publication a
year or twoago, In which he inall serious- of
ness wrote somethingto this eet: "A er
writsr has wisely remarked that 'an ugly to
young woman will become a pretty old be
one, if she lives long enough ;'ia sy i
whieh he doubtless meant that the lJ
vation of moral beauty wintll ,
for of it
oiThet n s a by any means,
°, 6boyanc was so utter that
but wsmot he quoted never prmantedr
aelf to him as sa n ot at all.
Lord Morpeth used to tell of a eth rot
friend of his, who, when Lord MrpA J
remarked that some people could not feel
a jest unless it were fired at them with a
cannon, replied, " Weel, but hoo can ye
are a jest oot of a cannon, monr" A a
lady friend once put a conundrum to her
rheumatic old nurse, asking her', iwhy
are you like a church window, Sally be
and gave the answer, Because you are tis
fbalot palns;"whereltpo the old e
woman pitying e , "Oh! dear,
sebody hm oo ofz honey.
Dem's andekart o' o e ysbeen ed
toolin' ye, chile."--] surma.
A laring Dbelemrey.
Amoso the sadeiently numerous d
fclencies of our beloved coummtry is, theSe
want ofan Education for the Children of
the Rich. Physiological results of igno
rance and of seqaent mistsaes in the
use of life-or perhp lasteoad ofd alk
the term should he'w g  mdkhmms o r
soeiey,-in our great buslnems centers,
rmak them often asort of whlrlp ateo
which good irnas of blood are i r -
ly dlizg aaM diappiring. Am
epaerresolute weorker omes into th dcty, ,
intent on wealth. He pluges into a
career of forlorn unrelazn vafreonl be
tntrela_ for morey, mres, an he
andnluwungo atraight on in th e -
rlad. Even while a young mam evenm
though apright and pre in thei
nges and elanlyvigo of his youth ase
hory ef his meney-mmaing, the dlad 8
ah of tb city streets, a lifeb without eer- ,
stianet; md me chidmr en a dihtml
erbyneammryreult the pylalg-1
cl embeodiment of mmItake m, ,
imlpuection. They are Mborna o I u .
smt: tser ry marrow and ph s week
streka ila; t .r shis whess ai
bers ho dr rot lthem h they were
NHow, seft all the dintlos mu, thea
and body. FOer or "1r s' bsoleuIa$
mesh is eempliehbed by ir 'v -
ad Jmt snmntes toth rupmIN-b p
-yetbem aml em a II
lestdtheir cold u work, audia e
Sthe secondorthrd gnrtothe abused u
race i extinct, by a vital reductio ad al
-WrdaIm.-Old esad Nwew, jr May.
S . t
SA p-ular bevrag.-Ginger pop. 1
1w Sheridan Pafd aN BIts.
Snuamrna was peculiarly sharp in eva
sions of dues and sheriffs. The charm of
his mAanner alone was irresistible. Tay
lor of the Opera House. used to say of him
that he could not pull off his bat to him
in the street without it costing him fifty
pounds, and if he stopped to speak to him
it was a hundred. Once when a creditor
brought him a bill for payment which had
often been pnrsented to him before, and
the man coinplained of its soiled and tat
te'ed state, and said he was quite ashamed
to see it-"l'll tell you what I'd advise
you to do with it, my friend," said Sheri
dan; take it home and write it upon
preAscment !" lie once mounted a horse
which a horse dealer was showing off near
a coffee-house at the bottom of St. James'
street, rode it to Tattersall's and sold it.
and walked quietly back to the speot from
which he set out. The owner was furl
ous, swore that he woull be the death of
him, and in a quarter of an hour :lter
ward they were seen sitting together owr
a bottle of wine in the coffee house, the
horse-jockey with the tear s running down
his face at Sheridan's jokes, and almost
ready to hug him as an honest fellow.
Sheridan's house and lobby were beset
with duns every morning, who were told
that Mr. Sheridan was not yet up. and
shown into the several rooms on each side
of the entrance. As soon as he had
breakfasted he asked. "Are those doors all
shut, John?" and being assyred they
were. marched out very deliberately be
tween them, to the astonishment of his
self-invited guests. who soon found the
bird was down. He owed large sums to
Hollanda the architect of one of the hand
somest theaters in the kingdom, of which
Sheridan was the manager; but the poor
man could never obtain a settlement or
even an interview on the subject with
Sheridan. He haunted him for weeks and
months at his own house, at the theater,
at his usual resorts, but he was nowhere
to be seen. At last he tracked him to the
stage door, rushed in in spite f the oppo
sition of the burly porter, and found the
manager on the stage Conversing with a
party of gentlemen whom he had invited
to show them the theater. Sheridan saw
Holland approaching, and knowing that
escape was this time impossible, put a bold
face on the matter. "Ah ! my dear fel
low," exclaimed he, you are the very man
I wanted to see-vou have come most
apropos. I am truly sorry you have had
ute trouble of calling on me so often. but
now we have met, in a few minutes I shall
beat liberty; we will then gointo my
room together and settle our affairs. But
first you must settle an important ques
tion here. Some of these gentlemen tell
me there are complaints, and loud ones,
that the transmission ofsounl is defective
in your beautiful theater-that, in fact,
the galleries cannot hearat all, and this is
the reason why they have become so noisy
of late." " nd defective! not hear.
reiterated the astonished arebitect, turn
ing pale, and almost staggering back.
" hy, it is the most perfect building for
sound that ever was erected; I'll stake
my reputation on it: the complaint is
mot groundless." "So I say," retorted
Sheridan; "but now we'll uring the ques
tion to Issue definitively, and then have a
parartpbh ortwo in the papers. Do you,
lolhnd, go and place yourself at the
back of the upper gallery, while I stand
here on the stage an1l talk to you." "Cer
taaily," aid Holland, "with the greatest
pleasure." A lantern was provided with
a trusty gu'de. and away went the archi
tect througj a labyrinth of dark and
winding passages, almost a day's journey,
until he reached the distant and elevated
post. " Now, Mr. Holland." cried Sheri
dan, "are you there and ready?"' "Yes."
was the Immediate answer. "Can you
hear me?" " Perfectly, perfectly, Mr.
Sheridan !" "Then I wish you a very
good ningl." So saying. Sherid~a
i~saared. and was two or thrbi~ith,
0o ore Holland could 6 jwas able
er long nlaterval 0o lis lair again. I
,to hase e  but one debt paid by
b l -the debt of nature.- - tS4
&4-m, in Galaxy for May.
Ilvidies Critlesim.
T citas is constantly a great deal of In
vidious remark going the rounds of the
press. and, for the matter of that, the
rounds society as well, upon the sub
ject of feminine dress and all its appurten
same of fruIt and furbelows.
In a season of dull polities one would
Fuppose that the ebiefend of man was to
attend ceasorially to the costume of the
weaker sex, and to spare no slur or fling,
ill-natured or good-natured be, that can
be made concerning it, nd we magine
that now thath Presidential aemain
is over, we shallheealled maon touadetgo
a new exhibtion of the thing.
Endeavor toconellatethese evil-minded
critis seems to be useless, for no fashion
l them, let it be what it may: they
no patiece with the pire antique;
they _ln to scorn the run and faidin
;they p roounce the dress of the
i ndecent. the dress of the
Seond mplre senselein; notinris more
frivolous tha the !ress that th de
ltas, notimore bbrbaros tan the
dresms of am gishwoma, othlio more
ra-baby-lke tha the drenof tbe harem,
eshigmole wastefl tha the dress of
the Amelan woma.
tji aet Satrn within his ring sw
Me began O go out, and panies and
awml lmeh to some in, they coi
ared Ier to a scarecrow, with er rags
tterng round her. When bonnets
wer hlrg they flup their pelts at the
fies that wwe srae dowa tvi staa of "a
Lehr lane-" h'enbats wee doPted,
they woderd how son the rst of the
maernle gab would follow; when the
see was baden i a elash, theynwereon ay
over meek-modesty; when bonets t e
ems a mere oe and ribbon, tlhey had
their seer for tho br n Le of the wemr
er; when yotad beauty went about
m iuet there was not enou~h
to b w to the sensmible hi heeals
of our saeestresesmm; as me a hi heels
wet it rausg diaesar te t tey
that a se been dt T
tenaathms md t- a thfkloh
A gsuma i hiog beInia, ited tr a
p e baar at sh the po,
I II~rk l m t romt K arv
,,ee4nt
Soam young men marry for dismples,
the chin not so often.
ter of '7" was peculiarly adapted to poets,
beeanse it was so rmry.