Newspaper Page Text
RICHLAND BEACON. TRICHLAND BEACON.
A ,ad Ue,. OPnr . ,r,.. uId 1"W. .r "WILZL P. MACNOHAM, m ... . . L. ,, . , _. L.t.......... i I ? 's% ._ o T ao ,of IaC Ii SKos Oa ,y, is..... .................... ( u mn.. 10 US UOUS Ow , t r I .........................:::: "LIBERTAS ET NATALE 8OLUM." r.a.remw 1naMe t l ter~toe df ....".. tae.in.m.".". 3. . ... ...jr o.n t . conS..OY. S:, ** 'o .. . . :.- --....A.. . . .. 10 -_ -- - - - - -,0 . ,_. ,., -. S -ame sia'r--ap '"e b"sIbawItn VOL. V.--NO 41. RAYVILLE, LA., SATURDAY, ()(TOBER 11, 17:3. OIIO]LE NO 17 ,,o.,,---. name ind ontb* S1W In adva tc,. OCTOBER. There k.mer moth in the weary year, A mouth -.f eiaulre randheal t l : When the ripe laiven fall, ad the air i. cdear: Ortoblr : the brown, tie risp, the B -e.t. My life has little enough of ht: I drag the day' of the odd eleven, ltag the : me that shall lead to this, The mouth that ,pens the hunter's heaven. And O for the mornings crisp and white, With the wee.l, of the bunud upon thetrak ; The tark-rc'-fe.l cabin, the c.amp-flrea light, The break of the deer and the nries crack. I" ," *..- t mll e ? I tell you., frend, .A 1." lo ti,. fr. -t It I.at all prai.., flie.- elb. a dt z.n rPtch e, mnthai on rud. Yru ray take m balance ,f years and day's. For brick and mortar breed lthIe and crime. Ant a puee of evil that thro.l and beate; A:c;,Lrn grow witheredl bh.f.,re ther prime Witth ther-nree pla .ed in ou the lanes and streets; Autd l tIrn are ch he t, and ehoulti,te are bowed Iu the .ne,'hering reek of ueIt andl mit"e; Andu Iliath . Ilks in o,' the LtrnlRg!tiRg *'r . 1, Wite he iahou the shadowtof uak and ittur. And of alt to which the meamory elings. ThI-re is naught so sweet as the uennmy *I*.t µ er.e .,cr .heu'ies te* d by the crystal leriug, lThe cm:,e.heidhlunde , and the lutky k hlto. The Aldi'ee. INTLLLECT IN FAT MW. Apropos of the discussion in the Tich borne trail between the lord chief jus tioe and Dr. Kenealey on fat men, the London Telegraph remarks : Theopin ion of the lord chief justice, most tem perately and toler..ntly expressed, was that there are numbers of very stout persons who are as remarkable for their shrewdness as any thin ones. Cour teously doolining to deal with the !iv ing, the presiding judge instanced the late Sergeant Wilkins, who was certainly no dullard, sad who must have mea sured an unonuaeionable number of inches round the waist. Dan'l Lambert, again, who was so corpulent that when he died his friends were fain to bunr him in a coffin as big as grand piano forte, and to coanvey him to the ceme tery in a broad-wheeled wagon, was a very sharp, asenute talker, and an excel lent man of business. Sir Alexander also mentioned Mr. Harrison, Q. C., a lawyer of excessive obesity but with exceedingly sharp intellect. r, Kenea ley, stieking to his postulate that dul ness and fatness go together, ventured to think that a survey of the English beach would show a vast proportion of lean men over fat ones, to which Sir Alexander promptly rejo.ned that judges were, as a rule, meagme, becamse they worked so her I. Dr. ensealey had, neverthles, the better ths I section of the argument. It an be shown, by a review of judicial portraits, i that we have only had three Iudges who I were distingui hed at one for embon pedal and for slntal attanm nts : I Chief Justice Gaseolgoe, who commited Primes Harry for contempt; Page, a his haging pndUiri , bnt good re Watis priuaemomb1yineJ1ctao Jf -Lw ýyiueller Je&ely- hs ft was aleohoie' and blea ted, and not the unctuous beeanses of I an honest ma. Bir Matthew Hale was t asthins a a wipio post; Coole the no fat ohis boaes; on the othe ad, Bradshawe the president of the high court of justice, was a big, carse, man. It may here be noted that e ahawe was only aunder the legitimate government a sergeant-at-law; nd ean- I riously mare wearers of the coilf who q have never rsee to the bench bav beesn fat. Sergeant Taddy was stot; so was Sergeant Arabia;. su tease of B ant Wilkis we have already men tioned. sLet it be likewise sesmebered ' that, although fer three hundred years we have had so fat lord chauellors, the t keeper of the royal esaienese was, in ' the days of elesiastical ebhatellars, usually a very portly pn Wo sr y was alderma lie in r w mi was St. Thomas aa et, at whose ad- Ie dietedasms to game pie and e ber. - gladdean hook has deicately hinted, s at all approuasat to a skeleton in di- ' mensions. It is true taat, toward the os of his lie, the saint pstised the i bating a sm ie t iof Sir Aleanader o which ads us abstain from bringing or ' living illustatiesof* the argument, pro ad n oa, c , e p i t to the expri enoe of a esrtnm emlst I who ae wrote a very nar book, ' ad who therain proved most trim- ' phantly that fass an damel., do not couasel for the defence, a. aboands I with t to rule whichL tshe I ihton tirve to etab lihh, that it waold he b labo rioely summing ap the nmt of haown on either side ad sri i a balame that anything like a satisf- ac tory coneliuaen could be formed, Itts -t e time aret to imporihbe to I aceertain aseh a balanse, from the eon- a ti additions that would be suggested both tothe dter saa eedMor sede of a t ae n Nmal al the Greet will, i et sorsehe eldmd b he this aide. - w, indeed, in y ptst bL y I dLt, wa a by arIb we s I a Iad, h ksbit ehwiuswe sI" bd sems that tho auestion we see I t the - me nauqs had I bean hen hishst- sd and I thk mane as he was, his h wasb gedl thi aw e r hl '?atl eisg ak Swl and ottlle I when the sbu d~a mseeings of u 4tia to el at tblewwlk a atheagha l 6d I o beastuaa h 3a ' neither fat nor lean; while Louis XVIII, the wit, the genius of the family-the cunning old joker who so snugly en. soonsoed himself in the sheets of Na poleon's state bed was phenomenslly fat. His subjects used to call him " Louis Coehon," and "Louis des Hni tree." Obvious considerations of de lieacy bid as abstain from saying any thing about the four Georges ; although much might be written on the injustice of those accusations of stupidity brought against the last George, who was certainly more gentleman than fool; hut there can be no harm in re marking that Queen Anne was a fat stu pid woman; whereas George Irs Queen Caroline, although fatter, was very clever. William IIL, in every respect a great man, was as thin as a herring; his consort Mary was just a little less corpulent than her sister, but a great deal shrewder. And so the shuttleeock of evidence is bandied to and fro by the battledores of contradictory cases. In polities we are pussled when we remem ber that William Pitt was lean and thin, whereas Charles James Fox was, to wards the elose of his life, a man-moun tain. In the literature of the last cen tury we recall plump little Mr. Gibbon, tke hardest student and worker of his century; fat Capt. Grose, the anti nary; portly Dr. Parr; big, hulking tsm'l Johnson, and burley Dr. Bur ny. But, on the other hand, Voltaire was s epectre ; -Southey had a lean and hungry look; and Charles Lamb was a mere mite of a man. Nearly the only instance in which we can get our feet on firm ground in this shifty controversy is in respect to Dr. Kenealey's position, that the fat boy at chool is usually a slow stupid boy, who cannot learn his lemons and is the butt of his playmates. At the mention of such an obese youth, the remembrance of the fat boy in "Piekway," and of the late admirable comedian, Mr. Keeley, as a eorpulent lad in "'To Parents and Guardias," suggest themselves irresistibly to the mind; but, turning from the fat boys of fiction to those of fact, a very slight amount of medical knowledge will suf fice to convince us that fat school-boys and fat school-girls are nearly always very stupid, because abormal corpu lence in boyhood or girlhood really amounts to disease. The sufferers are slow to talk, and seem slower to think, for the reason that they are in a chronie stats of discomfort and unrest. Yet here, again, we e brought up sharply by the reminder that babies cannot be too fat, sad what mother would tolerate the amertirm that babies are stupid ? It is worse than idle to dogmatile on this vexed topie. The P1ies at the Smarald. The pim the emerald has no fixed and ez d re, like that at thedia mond, and the Anetuations of its value luring the past three centries from an interemti hapter i the history of s?. k-w hmdrd uu ago the rice small salmt s a the rt qual ty was one lois the eet; one and a half carets, five lois; two earets, ten Lonis; and beydOd e weight no rnin if value wouldbe eddWhl In 100 merald were ro at as be worth mly quar mml a the diamoyld. -he -were gletted with the froe psent importations ben prsand four en yes before tis sbovemeationed acnd e vnse brought from South two hundred and three pounds tf fin emeralds worth at the present rlation w em tma mvea millios of iollas At the boegl eig of this een "r, aesoedlug to Came, they were worth no mere than twenty-four francs (or about fe dollsem) the caret, and for a long time antesedent to 1850 they were valund at only afteen dollars the ee-. 8ime this peL they have be met y rare, snd their vrISitio has oro wn ly. rIn fety the value of the emerald amw eszesds that if the diamond, and isrspidlyapproaoh iag the ratio xbedbd iasesto Cel LiaI in the middle of the sixteenth en bury, which rated the emerald at four imes, d te roby at eight times, the value of the diamond. s tones th emerald is emeaedagly liable to w, the beryl is more free, and the green aphire is rrmely mpaired by s wsures or m ) of me mmt in weight are worth at the at day two hun ed dol n g . Pte ,.et gem. of two caret, we ill ommand fie hundred dollr ia g4while the lar ger eses are at extravagant priees.-Lppine ea Magmfme. dull g sa Arab Ernie of fe eta brick cad alon from the mo-n, sad, indeed, I had to wat-h them elosely to pevent them taking cnth of onsequnene. With these b athey nugt •nmber of -t th-ded bria f te old village, rad, when a sfleient amount of mterials was hped together I hd toaly out the plan of the Ihona by rrangg lines oa brick ad fragments p the postion in which I wanted the wes The m thena made some Arab mter; or this prpse they dyug up -d temed over a lmagquare space of to b bri . sh m ful etm ad mls al ng. Ne-,the earth, water wun im admas, seem the tmale os . dI mix whethe thins;e leatn - the -k -stem was vell la this md e r, was laid -m and e wilh the mds. As foon s the welb were e --ly high the I *wem thqa thatr ma een n both bee my eer a cd the bhet itthesa, cad coming round thecor -e I somimes caught the whale -~thr isr Wwh.. the wals md the whole party went en an ud eamto the be t oithe lab to eel eat ca det braswod far the reef. dol the bruahwood cad - the s-of alhreessk bu~~it uda1, dI~,(h i ighway Robbery in Nevada. A startling episode of frontier life comes from Nevada, where four bold brigands recently waylaid and pills*,ed a stage-eoach while going to a village in Sierra county. There were fourteen paengers aboard, and they had just emerged from a thicket when four men sprang from behind the rocks, and seiz ing the horses by the briddles bade the driver get down and take the horses from the coach. Next the peasengers were told to dismount and seat them selves on a redwood log. As each of the robbers held a double-barrelled shot gun, the order was obeyed with alacrity. The passengers sat still a mice under cover of the shot-gns, and silently watched the operations of the robbers in getting at the contents of the safe. The scoundrels drilled holes about the lock and elsewhere in the door, poured powder into theopening, tamped them, and then lighted the fuse. In half a minute there was a thick puff of smoke, a dull, heavy round, and there lay the safe open. It was but the work of a minute to saek the bags of gold and packages of greenbacks, and then the robbers ordered the passengers to mount. The travelers obeyed and took their seats, and then the driver was ordered up and drive on quick. The rob bers relieved them of between $8,000 and $12,000, and after making a mile in uncom monly quick time it was ascer tained that every man of the fourteen had a revolver safely stowed away in his trunk or valise. Pnmsa Dnmqrrwrv.-Among other customs enforced by Persianetiquette is the rule that where a superior dines with an inferior the latter brings in the first dish himself, a practice not without pre cedent at western courts. The briging a dish is, however, in Persi no li un dertking, and requires considerable skill, sngth and practice, forthe man ner in which the operation is performed is, especially at court, dritd pre at arm's Ilngh, earried perfectly horri sotally, and deposited precisely in the right plaee at one. ome ldierousto ries are related about thispractice. One old gentleman with a magnicBent beard had to bring in a largse tray ontaining several dishes, and place it in front of the shah. The tray was heavy, thebearer was feeble, and, to make matters worse, just as he was about to p , aeendle, which he had not obseed, t fire to his magnificent beard. For a moment he was in a state of the utmost perplexity. To pat down the tray elsewhere than in its appointed place, an operation which required some deliberatio, was out of the question. To allow his cherished beard to be coasamed was also impossi ble. He was equal to the occasion, and plunging his flaming beard inteo a dish of cards which stood on the tray he calmly completed hi task, amidst the applause and amusement of the be holders.-Hearth and Hoe. ALConoH W Baman.-It has been generally stated that the alcohol formed in dough during the process of fermen tation is all expelled x the takig, but some earnest teetotalers ma be pained to learn that Mr. T. Boles find that a perceptible amount of the intorieting auid may be obtained from so mall a quantit as two ounces of breed. From the report oa his inestigtioes pub lished i the ehemieal mews, it ar Sthatu iamples'of De besd, boUt t sbop in London, yielded from . to (u of one per cnt. of alohol. After the bread had been eaposed to the sir in a moderately wmm m for a week, two-thirds of the aleohol had evapaora ted. Mr. Bolas'reesarks that "The amount of alcohol eontained in bread is too small to be of aay dietetic impor tance, but it may be, perhaps, worth while to notice, that forty-two pound loeaves are about equal in aleoholie reng to to bottle d pet" Hebo soon to deteie tihe amotf aco which dough loses while baking. Our readers probably reclleet that some ar p were made in Eag lmd to rsave th lamouetr of leobol o to be lost in bers' oweas. A deal of mnoey was aunk in the ez mm but it was ounad that the a d qulity of the spirit ob tained were not suck as to make the prsee ummtira-Lendo MN Firt etor-It's yellow ever. Second ditto-It's malarial. .ourth-I t'e heU m of th thora , nduc by lewdamdtie maie Fifth-I have been praitiinia twenty f.rred to - poney iio,,, sad bourbon for the rem four - of the hydroa-eholaide of tcb enarae of beeswa, tintred with the mrilatie of jijm, eternally, will ee Seventh-There re two mild e hese, or else there is a beap o' fom ad feathems seut two -as o billeus feber. ml tul the fur SaI s end the gl - m e nd we drmw th eamt. Tazasoan Vuaeuo .-A Panama perpgives a -rik illtratimon of r a idt eo vegetation in ths topi by zeimermto the bushes ed trees inth ruins of the burnt Aesywall at Pans.a It is .acel.y mare t two asince ths cau n ocred, end yet thisn i now gpowng within walls frees at least 8sfees in height They beloag to what are called trumpelrees (Ceesr pias) ad the braeahes are said to be aowding out o the highest doors and windows, s as to render t ru throw th wa wh whic they are iaterased. The Patest Offe. The annual report of the commis sioner of patents for the year 1872 has just been issued from the government printing office. It gives a complete alphabetical list of patents for the year, 13,500 in number, with name, residence and invention, alphabetical lists of in ventions, designs, re-issues, extensions, disclaimers and trade marks. In addi tion to this technical information there is a considerable amount of statistical, ofoial and general matter, which con veys some idea of the vast field of acientific and mechanical progress cov ered by the ingenuity of the people of the United States. The report gives the following exhibit of the business of the office fcr the year ending Dec. 31, 1872: Appliatensm for piste.................. ...12. 6 Patents i-ued, ladudina iv-tmn ad de apptee tes ofr lilaW.......... . -1 Pmvtext Add.d.....»................ 0ra Patla cglil j.....»..................... 3,09 Patents expired ........ 3.491 Patents allowedl but not issued for want of a e ....... ......... ...._...... ... 2,32 The following were the nationalities of the patentees : United states_ .......................... 13,009 Ores Brit ............ ........ ............... 445 Pranne................ ................ ............... 51 Other goereaneats .......... .......... 53 Tota. . ......... .... ..... ................13,590 The following shows the number of patents by states and territories and army and navy : Vo.t No. Alabamao....... ..... 4;I Nebrasa ......... . 2 Arkansa ......... 1 Ne e............. 2 Cairoraof...»,.....»b 143 ....... .S Clorfa .... ......... Hampshire...... 12 Ool~eut....... .... 641N Nw eiauo........... 2 Dakkota.. ....._... 2', New York........ 3,079 Delawe ........42 Noth Carolna...... p Dittrit of Columbia 143 Obik.......... s rida ........... s 00 s.. ......... 2 Oeorixa ....... ...... a nusyaMy la .....1.1S5 I ac...a..»......... Rm e I.la... 2 . 79. Siaoola ................«. 5a'nth Carol ... ... Iodians..... 3 T resaw~ ,o ........ 106 ow............... ..... i261 rea ............... Ksas....... j. ,t.a ..... . a. Kentucky......... 145 ernt............ 91 aiaaaa.,.... 76' VirgnIa. - 106 lesl......... l1` W. nastos ........ a Minown ...,.... 76' united states arny.. 7 lrTsa :::::zr. 961nltdsar as The financial exhibit of the offie is not only dtteing to its prosperity and magnitude, but ows tht it is one of the few, very few, self-supporting branhes of the government. For the year ending Dec. 31, 1872, the receiptr and expenditures were as folows : ..oolpa.... ...... ....».... .- ...59,7.13 The state of business at different times from 1887, the date of the present organization of th bureau, to 187, may be n by the following comparative exhibit : Tes Sn Mleareo. 1f t... .... s43 llo.... 1.0701s61m ..... . s34 5 1...... e l.... 52 1s 998112..g... .521o 14. » 473 1862.......... 1,02016...... » 5026 141. ....... 456 183 .... 1,95'61561...... 6.616 1r4 .... 1,lls e 16..... 1.9 l,50....... 9,40 IS . ..... 9tl ss. .. 2,5 16.. .. ...12,s 4 as....... ll6 0 11....« « ,910 i5 ..........13 1,46.s. S30l, 157.... 2,730 l641.........13,98 som.etm hiale...... ,thOII .._lIesI 1-_..... 572l1UN....... 3,710 171.....m3 1-....... 572 IM . 4.515 187. .....9i6 Shoeing a amel. A traveler from Pekin to Siberia, aerm the geat desert of Gobi, tells us thSat wheoev as smel's feet havbe es very tender and se from long marshes,- the poor reature lies down. His driver knows at ones that his feet hut him, sad looks to nd out if the thiek skin of the feet is blistered. Whenever a blister is found two or three strong men, usually ioe rls, keep wat the mel until it is not r them. UAt jt the right mo t t me a rush all toether upon the camel, throw it over upon the ad nd make itfs Then, withL a mwedle ade for that use, they sew a ae io of leather ge enough to wh toesh wsk a[ e, sitb oat hoa. inh the ae in itehine se mhde the amel is read toe gt t up·and dow in h mi d ila amush -l tewide dsertad dis The rvh t The tieest lart es sin mak.lly sh paca. e the ise f t skin thee a te c .t d fter d. wr n th..irlsh, d pul, uniasybe earn so esi ml yie a rsem witd bi red et gaefl tohe hare dsoes md c it, ithe ae whe heot heid sdotwh s eoudamt miov.-BueiZe erber. I To a i nviut i smi s al s sele in da l ; is woo4reMi ta the de t eal Tsr m's etanvseest whense ws unowna ml v aOter rea te r f .lt hu ebjsehlthaedr "Terr ml ar mdau 4 noth las wsle tZ S pals I in S p' fe's Md Barns and Stock Sheds. If there is one thing we are more de relict about than another it is the pro viding of proper covering to protect our stock in winter. It I were to take the trouble, I could find excellent and reliable authority for asserting that cattle left out in the cold require to he fed a third more to keep up the same amount of flesh or milk than if proper ly housed ; that is to say, food is the fuel of the animal engine, the real ear bon from which heat is derived. Now, your brute is constantly subjected to the influences of cold winds and rains, the heat is carried off, whilst if it be kept in a warm place the heat will be retained. Again this heat, this carbon, is also fat; therefore, if your ox or row is exposed to the weather and not suffl ciently fed to supply earbon to keep up the warmth, nature makes a demand on the tores laid up in better times, and your animal gets poor; or if the store is not there to draw from, the poor creature dies. Look at it in any light you will, exposure, is loss, waste and bad management. Every man who pretends to be a far mer, in the proper acceptation of the term, should keep two-ffths of his land in red clover which cannot be saved an lees put under clover. Here, then, are two dnducements to multiply roof sur face. And yet another : No farimer should neglect to save every particle of manure that falls from his stock, and he cannot do this properly in the absenee of sheds and stablinn. We mean the man who utilizes all the hours between the time crops are laid by and gathering time, and who will then have foresight enough to rive boards and built houses to shelter his cattle. Figure as what a few hundred dollars properly expended in this behalf will do for you. What will it cost to eut, bark, haul up and put in the ground twenty-four posts, to average a foot each' in diameter, and stand ffteen feet out of the ground .et them tea feet spart and you will have a house forty by one hundred. What will it cost to put up and secure plates on the posts, and also joists, with a row of posts in the center for sup port; then rafters, say thirty-four par. or three by six stuff eah twenty-eight feet long, say twenty-five hundred feet of lumber? And now for the boards: It will take fourteen courses, of Ave hundred to the coarse, on each side, or fourteen thousand in all, which will make a very excellent job: ten thou sand will give you a roof, but not a good one. How much will the boards cost ? A keg of eight penny nails, sad twenty pounds each of tens and double tens, will be needed. Set in and spike to the posts, horiontally, at five feet apart. three by four scantling to nail e siding to; this will require fourteen hundred feet of lumber. Of siding we will want four thousand feet of inch plank, to be set on end and nailed to the last mentioned scantling. At ten feet above the ground we want a good trot oor, ith strong joists, made of poles barked, four thousand feet of lumber for the floor. We want some doors with hinges, and some ladders. We also want a good well in one corner of the building, or under ashed adjoin ing. Carefully estimate the value of all the material and then valuetheputting pinlae. l g the center of the alnding, and g the entire length, have your corn ribs on either side of this isle. Should we aut off twety feet for this purpose, we have still left ample room for eighteen animals in stalls, and a harness sad tool room. In the loft will be found capacity for ene hundrea toes hay. To makethis barn perfet, we must surrounad it with a fif teen feet shed. This will take twelve thousand more boards, and twenty-four hundred feet of rafters, and five hun dred feet of plates, and five hundred feet of ties,and another beg of ten -ny and ma other e pound late ad neil ad work it all ot, anad -ee th th ~ea uildrl a early r a q ofaa acre of will eBt b a few haundred 1ons "But," sysanemjuiran hied, "wht do I want with ths big bouase? Ihave but few animals and no ." There. nye havei a stork is b have aeither food nrhelterferit. tYou a e onta to oe a fewtenadoullr eows when you might bad my worth ten imes tha muee wi beimuddtoget the hy Be sro n sow ead d doer on ~rm this manth. D0nt be sin with the sued, md des't be aframid to put thesa on she __-ae; mAwhm you have the hy r a t e, wkh mess hes. ad male a d as brd took, ill mal "iply, your mare heaps wil gow, yoar luald will get rie#h, ad, as a se. asne, tm eame thing will happen to -The h m r of haing adeted the in tr n d Phldepeds The buildingbhas Aes eas faZ rsef muratisn, and will bdedi es tthe pes etth, Its aggregate met is 615,000 4 O includin s 79s fas w ad e or risiTn feet above the grond This towebr is the esl,- M ed h eall, the eionie m etsee mid what . Te d1 slaborats building of th kind in the -"Some grso"eaid OM Hank, "I took a bd-btg o l e r kodry, ma droppeti it th ladle where the elted ison was, ad had it rean Int t Mf-lt Well, emld woman sed that skilst pratty sedyfor the lest mi Ll tos e shn dwhatde thsak, -nlmq that era ineet wJakd ant of his hele where he'd ben lying lihe a fr ia reek, san made backs r his oM moot s tairs B y, ?sr sm looked ity -A fosde Isad b.ubmim hasmes hoese tothbatrot rb m bib r'bkI"tina at The Shoemaker and Corn-Doctor. NSew ekch Plays late te t Other's Hans. Most men who have reached the years of discretion have learned, what all men are apt, sooner or later to learn, that the shoemaker, though a useful and even an indispensible member of society, is a dificult person to deal withal. Your tailor, your furnisher and your barber, though too often warped by a narrow professional prejudice, are still not al together unmanageable. Your tailor, if your nether extremiti.es be small or un shapely, may be induced by a proper exercise of tact to eat your nether gar ments by the zouave pattern, albeit the edict of fashion should decree that nothing but tights be worn. Your bar. ber will accommodatingly tart your hair near the middle or well to the side provided yo succeed in indicating to him the locality in which the part shall be placed. If you insist upon it he will refrain from the too lavish use of the pomatum stick, provided you ean give good and valid reasons for object ing to that cosmetio. If you resist with some firmness he will not force you to permit the operation of hair-cutting and shampoonin when you wished to be shaved quickly; and if you refuse ab solutely to pay for his costly prepar tions for promoting the growth of the hair you may perhaps escape their ap plieatien. But the shoemaker is made of sterner stu. Much intercourse with was and flax and leather has made him resolute and pertinacious. It is useless to suggest that you would like a loose fit if he prefer to give you a tight one ; and even as he makes the shoe so must it be worn. And great is the exaspera tion which results from the unyielding disposition of the shoemaker. For the person who likes a shoe at once neat and comfortable is by the shoemaker contemptuously styled a dandy, and is accordingly harassed by the shoemaker, who is nmth'r himself a dandy nor a sympathier with dandies. One of these persons besought this shoemaker for a neat boot, butthe shoemaker would give him no boot not suaited for a gout person. A tight boot was then ordered, but the same oauty boot was produced in response. The alleged damly, in de spair, then foolishly ordered an exceed ingly tight boot If, said he, the boot be not so tight that I eannot get my foot into it, I will not' take it. The shoemaker joyfully took him at his ward, and for onee in his wretched life complied literally with an order. The wretched man resignedly paid the shoe maker his price, and went sorrowing awa in the gouty boots previously ma for him. There are certain in conveniences which result from wear ing certain kinds of shoes, and people who, having sufered have consulted authority on the subject, know that cer tain epiaermous fungi, vulgarly known as corns, are apt to result from the pres sure of a tight shoe or from the fric tion of a loose one. Such persons, if prudent will call upon their man of leather forasnugflt. Theman of leath er with much eare sad consulta tion, measures his prudent customer and promises to make a snug fit. He ha a woade sly fine appreciation of how a comfortable shoe should be made, as he has unlimited admiration for the man whois no dady,and who scorns the vanity of tight boots. But the sag fit turna t anything but mung or ortable. Itpinches a favorite corn and promises to produce other corns whiceh may in time become favorites. It isa muh too tight in one place as it is too loose in another; but there is no more mercy for the lover of com fort thpa for the dandy. He may re monstrate that the shoe does not ft; but the shoemaker standing by, with sleeves rolled up and bammer in hand, asserts that it does. And the timid man assents. He goes into the street sad is accosted with "shine airt" from the ubiquitous boot-black, who rubs with all his might where the leather is tight est amd the eour is tdee He bls phemously wonders why God made shoemakers, not thinking, in his rage, that God mae aoem rs in order that mWight in turn make ashoes. The imof the hoemake is perhaps no soomer released from the bootblack tban he meets a peripatetic advertise meant lilmping og, eeasd in pano ply of pasteboard,capped with a hel met, ad baring alo the modern alr mu. The 'Dt htreads upon the vietim's cors, ad the vtim thor thb est time learus tha t tbhe porte ti is abroad to advertise thei of . lipot pemises, broogh the per Mre(io thOfew b illt em ove cornsfo .ill e a of each,or perhaps for a lesser s n. t the arn doctor fids aive cors where the vitim of the shoemaker thought he had but one. Hispurei raeordingy lightr bS a -im fi time tag rea he expected to part with. After remo i the coras, Dr. lipbtoe ordersn thaet the oot he cut wherever it pi . The shoemaker and co do y partners in basi naeas-N. Worldi Pumsom or aun Banm.-One of the most incoceivable things in the ature of the brain- is that, although the org Cof seamsation, it shbould itself be inseaulble. To cut the brain gives no pain; yet is the brain resides the oiewr n id. n inwr " r e l it frm the inted part be divided, we as It is olyby communication with the brain thatt any kid et eamation is peoad; the orga itself in woaderful still. A cartmai portion of te brain itself amy be smovred with out desklaIng life. The animal lives ad prferms all those fatieons which asrenearyto am vitality, but it has noloager amd. Ia tthinkor eel. Ithanpi that the food should be p olits stome h ; cac there it g and, d the animal will even thrive sad grow fat We infer, there s-One of Ge.' JaksM's comrnco p·per is' tobesen in Nashlle Any em who ha sed m to a mane cib can mae h ofa ss aoifhe is HUMOROUS. -A St. Paul washerwoman attending church offered to call it squar if the deacon who passed round the contribu tion box would put in the amount of his bill. - The Boston Courier says some members of the city council refuse to be vaccinated at the city's expense, as they are opposed to taking anything out of the public lpus. 0. -Warner. in h;s " B:acklog Studies," says there are still attempts made to bring up a family ro:miu a "register," but you might jlus t as well try to bring it up by hand as without the rallying point uuf a hearthstone. -A lady, slhowing to a friend the photograph of herself and husband, was told that the gentleman's was much the better lihkeness. "Yes, my dear," she answered, "but then you know that men are so very easy to catch." -A dyeing establishment in this pity lhas a mixture which is called the purple udye. It is a strange coincidence that a man who had a very sick dog the other day expressed his apprehensions in pre cisely the same language. -The Danbury News fellow says: "The majority of women care but little about suffrage. If the backs to car seats could only be hollowed out so as to admit of their bustles lapping over, the ballot might go to thunder for all they care." -If an edge tool is so hard as to erumble, grind it on a dry stone until the edge turns blue ; it will then cease to break, and the temper will generally prove to be about right. Scythes and axes are sometimes too hard at the edge, but if treated in this way will give no further trouble. -The Piutes in Utah occupy their leisure moments in catching flying liz ards with sticks curved like the handle of a cane, and eating them. When a Pinte sees one he extends his stiek, and by a dexterous twist spins the lizard in the air, catching him in his hands as he comes down. The flesh of these lizards resembles the meat of a bull-frog, and they are said to be even more delicious. As fast as the Indians catch them they string them around their waists sad necks, and toast them one by one, as they become hungry. SCmras OF WisnoW.--Mot people are like an egg, too phull tf themselfs to hold enny thing else. " Misery lunv kompany," but kan't bear kompetishun : there ain't noboddy but what thinks thare bile is the sorest bile in markit. To be a big man among big men, iz what proves a man's karakter; to be a bul-frog amung tadpoles don't amount to much. What a blessed thing ir is that we Lan't " see ourselves as others see us;" the sight would take all the starch out nv us. Thare in lots ov phoiks in this wurld who kan keep nine out ov ten of the commandments, without enny trubble at all, but the one that is left they kant keep the small end or. Expektashun is the child or Hope, and like its aren a arogt brat, Excentrictys are mosat alwus aryf shall, and the bs. that an be sed ov them is, they are quite as often the re sult ov dimdence as ov vanity. If i want tew git at the trew karakter ow a man, i studdy his vices more than i do his virtews. Those who expekt tew keep them Sselves pure in this life must keep their souls idemg all the time, like a pot, and keep all the time skimming the sur fae. It don't do tew trust a man tew much who is alwus in a hurry, he is like a smire, whose heart and bones lays in There is nothing so delishus tow the soul ov man as an oekasional moment' or sadness. Jealous people alwas luv themselves more than they do those whom they are jealous ov. Curiosity is the germ ov all enter priss; men dig for woodchucks more for euriusity than they do for wood chucks. The parest and best specimens o human natur that the world has ever seen, or ever will see, hav bin the vir towous heathen. Men don't fail so often in this world from a want of right motives as they do from lack ow grip. There in odly two men in this world who never make eny blandlers, and they are yu and me, mi friend. Yang man, yu kant learn ennything by har'n yourself talk, but ya may possibly bh bearing others Thare is lots o folks in this world whom yu kan blo up like a bladder, anad tbhen kik them as high as yu ples. I hav alwus notissed one thing, that when a eunninv ma burns his fngers every bodey ho,llers fe ty I sumtime distingih between ta lent and genius in this way : A man of talent kan make a whimssel out of a pig's tale, but it takes a ma of genius to make the tale. I hkanttell now whether a goose stands on one leg so much to rest the leg as to rest the goose. I wish some scientific man would tell me all about this. I had rather be a child again than to be the satokrat of the world. There is newmerous individuals in the lad who look npeon what they haint got as the only things worth haMv bhare is those who kant a1fl with im punity; if they ain't stil and sollum tbey ain't nothing. One man o genius to 97 thousand four hundred and 42 men or talent is just about the rite perproshun for aktu a lssmines. Veentilashan is a goodthing, but when a ml kant lay down and ap in 10 aker lot without taking down lsagths of fence to let the windin he it alto gather too airish. I think that a hen who undertakes Itew lay 2 eggs a day must aeeasmuily elekt sum other brameh o bissinemss. is " •memny a slip between a capnda lip," but not ha s menay asthaer thn wt hay faith in thing, i m willing tew be I out ow 1 0. I dot neverha t S~r -blS· Y' tE