Sugar planter. [volume], March 01, 1856, Image 1

About Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925

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VOL. 1. NEW SERIES. WEST BATON ROUGE, SATURDAY, MARCH 1, 1856. NO. 9.
THE SUGAR PLANTER,
,fIlLIED gVERY SATURDAY- HORNI.GO
! J. at'" 3 A...N .... ......JOHN e. GA.DNER.
YAMs. & GARDNER, Proprietors.
Omce pear the Court House,
EST BATO RO U GE.
TERMS of the SUGAR PLANTER:
biMIPU oNr.--3 a year. due invariably at the
t~ of enb.eribtg; if not then pud or within three
aeaths thereafter, five dollars. wilt be charired: no
subscription will be taen1 for a le.s term than six
>acths: no paper discontinued unt.l arrearageo are
AdvuL.thingt .A,,-dvertiomentl net eaee'eding ten
ines, $1 for the fti.t antl 5sv cent. for every sub e
atlinsertion:; hose of greater length in proportion.
A libral discount to those whos advertise by the
year.
Terms to Clubs,-W ere a Club of not less than
tea amess is sent, wit', the cash, the paper will be
fuarnished at $2 50 each s.b.criber. and an addition
alapy to the person furulishing the list.
Where a lab of not leas than twenty is furnished,
with the cash, the paper will be forwarded at $2 2,5
teb subscriber, and two additional copies for the
et Job Prlntltg.
Sach as PArPtu .tS , Browns. C(ARn, BRIa. Pn. FT.RAL
ansttber Notices, executed with neatness and de
aptab. In all case. cash on delivery.
AYER'S PILLS, b
S*paid singuarly successful remedy for the
f s' n of a Bilious diseases - Costiveness. Indi
Jaundiee, Dropsy, Rheumatism, Fevers,
Ve, Nervousness, Irritability, Inflanma
SE.adache, Pains in the Breast, Side, Back,
b, Female Complaints, &c. &c. Indeed,
~wuevwmthedi.ases in which a Purgative Medi
l es t more or less reqnired. and much ick
aes hd smffering might be prevented, if a harm
. bat fectual Cathartic were more freely used. S
Np pme can feel well while a cosrtive habit of F
bdy pre[als; besides, it soon generates serious and
fatal disease, which might have been avoided
e tionlt nd jtdicious use of a good purgative.
Italiketrue of Cords, Feverish symptoms, and
B ilides ts. They all tend to become or
preisea the seated and formidable distempers l
wk" lead the all over the land. Irence a I
toiy physic is of the first importance to I
health, and this Pill has been perfected I
ate skill to meet that demand. An
Mii e t.ial of its virtues lby Physicians, Profes
essr, and Patients, has shown results surpassing
e.y >hitherto known of any medicine. Cures
haswg i effected beyond belief, were they not sub
5dbtaSd by persons of such exalted position and
esrcur as to forbid the suspicion of untruth.
AM6agthe many eminent gentlemen who have t
sa!in favor of these Pills, we may mention :
? Ji . J . LoCae, Analytical Chemist, of Cin
d *- whase high professional character is en
0ot.mMeLatew, Judge of the Supreme Court of
the io.4States.
T Co.wms , Secretary of the Treasury. t
J. M. Waootr, Governor of Indiana.
IW r.i worr, great wine grower of the West.
oCDat. J. B.. CarLtoN, Practical Chemist, of
NCT iiCtty, endorsed by
'ifbl W. L . L MAcy, Secretary of State.
W. B. Asron, the richest man in America.
& iLoas, & Co.. Propr's of the Metropolitan
d, many others.
r e.yse permit, we could give many hundred
e, from all parts where the Pills have
r bubt evidence even more convincing than
has exmperaee of eminent public men is found in
se l upon trial.
-.sme-Pils, the result of long investigation and
s A wme ofered to the public as the best and
mnst complete which the present state of medical
qenae can afford. They are compounded not of
thergs themselves, but of the medicinal virtues
•Vot V.eagetable remedies, extracted by chemical.
it a state of purity, and combined together
Sduisla manner as to insure the best results. Thbis
.temref composition for medicines thas been found
in=~e Cherry Pectoral and Pills both, to produce a
sanm efcient remedy than had hitherto been ob
tair by any process. The reason is perfectly ob
ki : While by the old mode of composition, every
inea, ne is burdened with more or less of acn
rmun'ous and injurious qualities, by this each indi
r' .A.t virtue only that is desired for the curative
.f e-t is present. All the inert and obnoxious qual
ises of each substance employed are left behind, the
c:atine virtues oply being retained. Hence it is
. slJfidest the effects should prove, as they have
Fp~ e, mere purely remedial, and the Pills a surer,
mor powerful .antidote to disease than any other
mrsedci.. known to the world.
-s it is frequently expedient that my medicine
' 1Iutdbe taken under the counsel of an attending
- PnysF se, and as he could not properly judge of a
reosdly without knowing its composition, I have
a .p ted the accurate Formula by which both my
Fe-etal and Pills are made to the whole body of
at:tioners in the United States and British Armer
un Provinces. If, however, there should be any
a has not received them, they will be
5 y fo rded by mail to his request.
Xsli the Patent MIedicines that are offered, how
w would be taken if their cmnposition was known !
'ine lire consists in their mystery. I have no
e~~ mposition of my preparations is laid open
aI..l, and all who are competent to judge on
freely ackudwvledge their convictions of
5i• trinssic merits. The Cherry Pectoral was
by scientific men to be a wonderful
before its effects were known. Many em
t ul'Ph-l.akmi s bave declared the same thing of
ill; s, and even more confidently, and are will
' to certify that their anticipations were more
'tsi realiznE by their effects upon trial.
'They operate by their powerful influenee on the
f hi ssiseera to puritr the blood and stimninlate it
I-t.almdthy action-remove the obstructions of
',li stomach, bowels, liver, and other organs of the
may, restoring their irregular action to health, and
• ws-eeting, wherever they exist, such derange
ast s are the irst origin of disease,
a a.r.mU -w-apped, they are pleasant to take,
Urg pitrelay vegetable, no harm can arise from
!ueinany quantity.
F:I to tdirections, see Wrapper on the'Box,
PRIEPARED BY
.OR, JAMES C. AYER,
Paf*cmand Anlytical Cwtm ,
OW)WRLL, MASS.
l cats per Bex. give 0om6s eg Sil.
SOLD BY
. T. WAi ILo,
WM BOGEL,
J. LVIAIBE
. . Re ,p, . -re.. M
A Night at the Gaming Table.
cc
AN EPISODE OF REAL LIF.
In the year 185-, a party were seated
around a table in the social hall of a hi
steamboat on the Mississippi, playing li1
cards. They had played from about.p
o'clock in the evening till near mid
night. Tue party consisted of four per- y
sons, two of whom were notorious gamn of
blers, and the other two were frank, un- i
suspecting countrymen who had been to tl
New Orleans to dispose of produce, and
were returning home. At near mid- i
night, one of the countrymen arose from st
the table, saying to his partner: g
'Luck's against us, Bob! Mightas as
well try to beat the devil himself as these sj
fellows!'
'Oh, for God's sake, don't quit yet !
Give me some chance toeet back my
money !
'No use, Bob, I'm nigh busted.' Pret- r
i ty near clean swept out,'
Despair seemed written on every ,
lineament of Bob's features, when he h
found that he could not persuade his
friend to play. a
At last he said to several who had it
been watching the game,'won't some of
you gentlemen take my partner's place ?' 1i
There was a pause for a few moments,
then a young man, scarcely one and
twenty, took the vacant seat, saying :
'If you have no objections, I'll try my
hand.'
'Agreed !' was the reply.
'Here, bar keeper, give us another pack
of cards.' said the young man.
Another pack was brought; the
stranger opened them and handed them
back, saying :
'I want another color. These are the
same color as those they have been
playing with. We might as well change f
the color just !or luck. d
The gamblers exchanged glances.
Another pack was brought; the game I
commenced, and the gamblers won.-
Bob grew uneasy. r
'Come, let's double the stakes!' said r
the stranger, whose turn it was to deal.
'Just as yvou like,' said the gamblers.
The stakes were doubled, and the
stranger and his partner won. A. gleam r
of sunshine illuminated Bob's counts
nance. Another game was played, Bob
and his partner were again successful.
The stakes increase--the gamblers lose.
• Bar-keeper, bring us another pack of I
cards, of another color from these,' said
the stranger, who was about to deal.
One of the gamblers looked at his I
partner while a dark frown overspread
his features.
Three more games were played, and
n Bob had retrieved his losses. The stran=
i ger again called for another pack of
e cards. At this one of the.gamlblers ex
Sclaimed-
'No more changing! We .lay with
d these!'
I 'You play with what you please, re
plied the young man, as an almost im
perceptible smile passed over his features,
-but if my partner and myself play, we I
nmust have another pack.'
Bob looked at his partner, then at
George.
'Stick to what your partner says, Bob.
He's the right stripe, and will come out
head horse, or I'm a nigger !' exclaimed
i George, slapping Bob on the shoulder.
e 'I agree to what my partner says,' said
Bob, in reply to the gambler's looks of
r, inquiry.
The gamblers exchanged looks, and
e then consented to thearrangement.
g Four more games were played and
each time Bob and the strarnger won.
It was again the stranger's deal.
One of the gamblers watched him close
ly, and suddenly exclaimed
l 'You - young villain. Cheat
ing are you' a
'Playing with you at your own game.
I have watched you all night, and saw
you cheat my partner and his friend.
Even now you have got a dozen cards in
the sleeves of your coat. I never play
on the square with thieves!' replied thea
stranger, hastily as a deadly paleness I
stole over his features.
'A knife gleamed in the gambler's I
hand, and, as the blow aimed at the 4
stranger descended, a dozen cards fell
from his sleeve on the table. This was
noticed by all the by-standers. The
stranger avoided the blow, and" with a
rapid movement eaught the assailant by
the throat, giving his cravat a twist, and
they both rolled on the floor.
While this was taking place, the spec
tators prevented the other gambler from
iunteereiag, and in th.struggle a nan
ber of cards dropped froomhis coat. The
social halt was aow a scene of confe
eion.
SoGame! dlear grit by 'thander i ex
claipsed George, as he with other sep
rates tha pogzbtanta.
The gamblers face and breast were 9
covered with blood, as was also the fi
young stranger's hand.
'Has the white livered thief stabbed I
you my young hickory,' said George, as n
he pulled the young man towards the Ii
light.
'No, I guess not.' d
But the blood dropped fast from tOe a
young mah's hand, and upon washiag d
off the blood it was discovered that his i
iight thumb was nearly severed. In I
the scuffle he succeeded in disarming the
gambler, and thus probably saved his
life. The-wound was dressed and the
stranger returned to the social hall. The
gambler, who was chafing with rage,
eyed him with a demoniac look, and
shaking his fist at him, exclaimed :
'I allow no riani to call me a thief
and you must give me satisfaction !' '
'I'li give you any satisfaction you
want, you cowardly cut-throat,' was the
reply.
'And if you can't, I'm the chap that
will ' exclaimed George throwing off
his coat and hat.
'Stop, my fiien-l, this is my quarrel,
and I'll allow no man to take my place
in it !'
'Good, my young Davy; but this fel
low is big enough to swallow you.
'Yes; but may be he can't digest me.' i
'It wouldn't be a fair fight,' iuter
posed several bystanders.
'Well there's something that nullifies
brute force, and places all on an equal
footing.'
'That's the talk. Davy. You are my
man,' exclaimed George, slapping the
stranger or the back.
'lie's right!' said one of the by-stand
era a man about forty years old, step
ping forward.
'The youmg man is right and I'm his
friend in the matter. It's as clear as
day and can soon be settled.'
This speaker had been a Major in the
Texan Revolution, and ho led the stran.
ger down the cabin towards his state
room, telling the gamblers to have
matters arranged within fifteen minutes.
When they reached the state-room, the
Major said :
HIlow is it that a person of your age
understands so much about cards as to
beat these old gamblers I'
'Curiosity led me to study them, but
I never play but for amusement. Most
if not all tie tricks, I learned of a fel
low boarder who had spent a great part
of his time at the gambling table. I
inoticed that these honest countrymen
hadl been swindled and thought it would
be an act of charity to beat gamblers
with their own weapons, and recover the
money for ms partner and his friend.
Every time I noticed the gamblers se
crete cards I called for a deck of anoth
er color; and watched them too closely
to give them a chance to cheat me in
deal. They did not suspect me until
near the finish of our play. You know
the rest.'
'Pretty good 1 but do you think you
could face that fellow's fire. He is an old
hand at the business.'
'But he's a coward, or he would not
have drawn a knife on me. Yet, if it
can be avoided, I would rather not meet
him. I wonld not like to have him
meet his death at my hands, nor would
I like to sacrifice my own life for so un
worthy a purpose.'
'It is too late to back out now.
f 'Can't it be settled I'
'No ! if you refuse to meet him, every
one svill pronounce you a coward.'
'Well, if it must beI suppose it must;
I but I have no weapons.'
t 'Never mind that; I have a pair of
Alalingr nistols. and so if you have any
arrangements be about it for the time is
short, and the affair should AJ settled
before it gets noised around the boat.- ?
I'll see to other matters.'
'Stay ! make the distance short.' t
'Only the breadth of the boat.'
'So saying, the young man went tohis
own stateroom, but soon returned and I
seated himself by a table in the cabin 1
and cbmtnenced writing. His face was
pale-deadly pale-but there was a fix
edness of features which at once told that
his mind was made up. A tear coursed i
down his cheek as he wrote-but prob
able that tear was for those far away, yet
still to memory dear. Strange thoughts
flitted throughb his mind-so young, and
yet to stand on the brink of death--to
make one fearful plunge into that dark
unknown river, sair to be carried by its
curret t out into the ocean of eternity, to
return home no more. A lifetime pass
ed in view in a moment. Yet the genii
said"go on--too late ' To die, or kill
-eith; r'was a dredfl reflection. Yet
the prouid. pa-io.. tf youth woula not
snbiet to reflection. It nust be donae,
and the pooner it is over ti better-so
reasoned paineS and plnssOsfaW Pb .
Whe be . li Bnlished his writing, he
gave it to the Major, requesting him to
follow the directions which he would find
in the note addressed to himself, in case
he should fall. Also to give his win
nings to George to make up for the loss v
he had sustained.
Then they went upon the upper a
deck of the boat. It was a calm still c
night,the moon shone forth in all its splen- F
dor. As far as the eye could reach noth- v
ing but frosts and water met the gaze. d
The boat had just rounded to for the t
purpose or wooding; and when she was a
again under way, the young stranger, his (
second and three other persons, anxious- i
ly awaited the approach of the gambler. t
Scarcely a word was spoken-none felt t
disposed to disturb the silence that reign r
ed. half an hour passed, the gambler t
came not. It was now suggested that a
some one should go in search of him. t
The messenger soon returned and re t
ported that both gamblers had left the I
boat at the wood yard. When the young
man heard this, a fervent "Thank God"
escaped his lips, and the party retired to t
seek repose in sleep.
A PArnTY NICEiY SLD.-One of the
best items the Harpers qver raked out of
their "Drawer" was the following. It
will bhe noticed that the scene is laid en
tirely at Wilmington, in North Carolina
although the actors did not live there.
But to the story at once :
About thirty miles above Wilmington
and on the banks of what is ca.led -the
Northeast River, lived three fellows,
named respectively Batham, Stone, and
Gray. They came down to Wilmington
in a small row boat, and made fast to the
hliarf. They had a time of it in the
city, but fur fear they would be dry be,
f ,re getting home they procured a jug
of whiskey, and after dark of a black
night too, they embarked in their boat,
expecting to reach home in the morning.
They rowed away with all the energzy
that three half tipsy fellows could mus
ter, keeping up their spirits in the dark
ness by pouring spirits down. At break
of day they thought they mist be near
home and seeing through the dim gray
of the morning a house on the ri' er side,
Stone said:
"Well, Larham, we've got to our place
at last."
"If this is my house," sail Barham,
"somebody has been putting up a lot of
out houses since I went away yo.sterday ;
but I'll go ashore and look about and
see where we are, if you'll hold the boat
Barham disembarks, takes observa
tions, and soon comes tumbling back,
and says :
"Well, I'll be whipped if we aint at
Wilmington here yet; and what's more
the boat has been hitched to the wharf
all night !"
It was a fact, and the drunken dogs
had been rowing away for dear life with
out knowing it.
A Ma. FOR TIIT '.IMES.-There is a
progressive chap around Philadelphia,
who lives by his wits, and from their
quality we guess he wont starve soon. it
On a rainy day, he goes boldly into a
bar-room or barber's shop and seizing
the first.umbrella handy, he very angrily
says: "Ah, found it. D-m pretty note o
to go and steal a man's umbrella in that I
way I" and away he goes. T'other day he d
marched up to a gentleman in Chesnut
street and grabbing at the umbrella in
his hand says he: "That's mine sir, where
did you get it l" "I beg pardon sir ! it
was loaned me to day by an acquaint
ance. If it is yours take it sir." Mine?
of course it is sir," says Diddler; and he t
took it. He'll do.
STaoNG Bunaw.--Gov. Draper, of t
New York, it is said, was dining the other
day at Congress Hall, in Albany, where
the butter happened to be particularly
rank. "Here John," said Draper to a
favorite waiter who was standing behind
him, "John. take this plate away; some
people like their butter stronger than
others." John took the plate, held it
up to his nose a moment with the air of
a connoisseur, then put it back again in
its place, and observed in a firm voice:
Misther Draper, that is the strongest
butter we have in the honse,"
One of the deacons of a certain church
asked the Bishop if he usually kissed the
bride at weddings. 'Always,' was the
reply. 'And how do you manage when
the happy pair are negroes !' said the
deacon.' In all such cases,' replied the
Bishop, 'the duty of kissing is appointed
to the deacons.'
'ATI Dr n NDS OF KAS.- -MajOr
General WilliamS the gallant defender
of Kar- has t. ommediate relaives in
Eigland. Blsfamily is now resident in.
.Ameri ,
The French Soldier and Pope Pius.
The Courier des Alps relates the fol
lowing good story, the authenticity of r
which it guarantees: 0
A few months ago, a soldier of the L
army of the East, writing to a comrade
of the French army at Rome, drew a sad t
picture of the privations and latign"es r
which the former had to endure, of the I
dangers to which they were exposed, and C
the ravages which disease and the Rus- t
sian balls were making in their ranks. c
fHe concluded his letter by recommend, a
ing his friend without delay to carry to
the Pope himself the price of a mass for
the perservation of the French army and r
request him to perform it. Faithful to t
the recommendation of his friend, the I
soldier at I;ome went next morning to
the Vatican, and requested the first at
tendant he met to conduct him to his
Holiness, "But, my brave fellow," said
the guard, " have you obtained the pre
vious authority for an audience?" "All
that is very well," replied the soldier,
"for great lords, but with a simple troop
er no such ceremony was necessary."
The guard would not tresspass on the
usual regulations, but the soldier on his
side, was so little disposed to give way,'
that it was found necessary to conduct
him to the prelate on duty that day. 1
There, similar observations were made to
the applicant, but all in vain, at length,
the prelate, disparing of overcoming the I
importunity of his visitor, went and
mentioned the matter to the Pope.
As may be supposed, the curiosity of
Pius IX. was excited by such an appli
cation, and the etiquette of the Vatican
was set aside, the soldier being ushered
into the presence of his Holiness. On
coming near, the soldier stood upright as
a post, and then giving the military sa
lute by Iising his hand to his forehead,
addressed the Pope as follows, just as if
he was speaking to the Lieutenant of
his company: "Mon pape, here is a let
ter from a comrade in the Crimea, which
which concerns you; please to read it
and tell my what answer I am to send.
At the same time, he with one hand held
out the letter, and with the other some
pieces of money, The Pope took the
letter and after reading it, returned it to
the soldier, saying : "Mv friend, my mass
to morrow is appropriated to a particu
lar purpose; but the day after, without
fail, I will say one with pleasure for that
grand French army. I, however make
one condliticn, and that is, that you at
tend yourself and prepare to receive the
Holy Communion. As to the payment
you offer, keep the money to drink to
the health of your brave brothers in
arms." "That is sufficient Mon Pape,"
replied the soldier, "I will go and pre
pare myself with the chaplain of the
regiment, and the day after tomorrow at
the appointed hour I will be at my post:"
He then again saluted a la mil:taire. and
turning right about, left his Holiness
charmed with his military nonchalance.
On the day appointed, the soldier was
present at the mnass of the Sovereign
Pontiff, and had the happiness of receiv
ing the communion from his hands.
IIow To DESTRor Nr GRAss.- A I
correspondent of the American Cotton j
Planter gives the following method of h
destroying the Coco or Nut Grass:
" tead in your September number, an
article on Coco or Nut Grass, by "A
Subscriber." I approve of the whole:
snd as I have found a manner or two of r
destroying it, for those who have but
small patches, I give it to you with pleas
ure, and hope it may be beneficial to
those who are so unfortunate as to have
them: Spade it (the Coco) with the full
depth of the spade, in the month of May
or June-the best month-and lay good
sound cotton seed all over it, the thick
ness of eighteen inches; and after it is
rotton, the coco is all killed. Do not
let anytbinggo on the seed. You may
destroy itralso by ditching it two feet
wide and as deep as the coco is, (which
is generally about two feet) filling that
ditch with wood to six inches above the
level of the surface, and throw back the
whole of the dirt and coco upon it, and
keep on ditching, leaving a space of
eight inches between each, until you get
through, doing the same as the first, and
set fire to both ends of the ditches, take
good weather for the operation, (April,
May or June, are good months) I saw
one patch destroyed, and then destroyed
o ne myself~ by the fire; but with the
cotton seed, I destroyed so many, that I
cnirnot say the nnmber. I amsir, your
obedient servant, L t.
Boston has sir thousnod more females
than females, while Chicagp has about
Slttea thousand more tales. than fe-j
males.
A 1IARanDSILL BAPTIST SERMON.--Ws
find the following short but decided
"ltard-Shel Baptist Sermon" going the
rounds of the papers without, a sign
of credit, although the scene, as they
haie it in theatrical parlance, is laid in
the interior of Kentucky. It is averred
that the thing is genuine--that the ser
mon or harangue was really delivered.
Be this as it may, it almost equals, in
closeness of argument and stickiness to
text the "spontaneous efforts" of the
clerical hero why played so lustily upon
a "Harp of a Thousand Strings." But
read the sermon and judge for yourselves.
My Breethering: The scriptures tells
us, "we are bu-red with Christ by bap
tism." "Buried," my friends, not sprink
led by baptism.
Suppose one of you had lost your
little da'ter, and you had laid her out,
and 'prepared her for the grave; and
your neighbors had come in and said:
"Friend, we will take thy child and bury
it ;" and afterwards, when you went out
to see the grave of your little one, you
found they had laid her down and sprisk
led a little earth over her! What would
you have thunk of them ?
Suppose, again, that in the fall of the
year, you had dug your potatoes, your
turnips, your parsnips, and your other
roots for winters use, and had dug a
trench to bury them ini; and you had
said to your servant, "Sally take the
house gang and go and bury those pota
Itoes, those turnips, those parsnips and
other roots ;" and afterwards when you
walked forth to nee that all was secure
for the winter's use, and you had found
that they had just sprinkled a little dirt
on them l What, my friends, would have
done ? I raether suppose, my dearbreth
ren, you would ha' tried the virtews of
the cow skin?
But they are not a bit worse than
those poor, ignorant and benighted Epis
copals and Presbyterians, and Methodist,
who sprinkle a little water on one anoth
er, and call it "buried by baptism 1"
"I am afraid, my friends, I am very
much afraid indeed, that they will eatch
something hotter than the cow skin in
the day of reck'ning i
A.ECCDOTE OF TE. NaRw taP5a.NW.-
The Rev. Henry Clay Dean, the present
Chaplain of the Uniatd es Senate,
was some years ago a resident ofNorth
Western Virginia. While preaching ope
day at a church situated afew miles
from Fairmont, he was annoyed by.tbe
inattention of his congregation as man
ifested in turning their heads tosee every
body who came in. 'Brethren,' he said,
it is very difficult to preach when thus
interrupted. Now, do you listen to me,
and I will tell you the name of every
man as he enters the church.' Of course
the remark attracted universal attention.
Presently some one entered: 'Brother
William Satterfield!" called out the
preacher, while the brother was asaon
ished'beyond measure, and endeavored
in vain to guess. what was the matter.
Another person came in: 'Brother Joseph
Miller r bawled the preacher with like
result; and so perhaps with other cases.
After a while the coo ton was amaz
ed at hearing the p er eall out in a
loud voice: "A " ttl5 rniE. man with a
blde coat and a white hat on I Don't
know who he is I yfit ineyl6iok for your
selves t"--Fairmount Virginian.
A Torzals Oigaor'io To WATR.-
An old toper being ·rged to drink the
beverage prepared by God himself to
nourish and invigorate his creatures, and
beautify his footstool.
"No," said the toper, "water is dan%
gerous--very. It drowns people-it
gets into their chests--into their heads,
water on the brain for instance. Aed
then, too; it makes that infernal steam
allersbloiwing a felier up. Water I No!
I'll drink none on't; let them drink it
what lik."
Upon being urged that liquor drink
ing was slow poison
"True," said he. "I've drank it those
forty years.- Others have had my full
share of the water, to which they were
welcome, d.d yotu may take what re
mains.
IToper was declared to be a gone case,
fand past redevery.
k An old-i.ieO, at a concert one night,
a riad in the programme the tide of a song,
I, viz :
"' , giveme a cot in the valley I love.'
dt Readin$.it o'er attentively, the old1 f9
e low finally growled. "wl, if I hail my
I choice, I edarod askfor a bedstead!•
"Matlaine, has your piano-a% aeollen
attachmentI" asked Sam, the other night
sa of the wife of .inaman- tho appeared to
•t c ua to ot-b "'-if Bi iis, pae.
a~ "gus., whispe--ed m st - ear, -
bas -A sheriffs attaChaa~BC