The Potter journal. [volume], December 18, 1866, Image 1

About The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872

Image provided by: Penn State University Libraries; University Park, PA

                
# m v.- "<
VOLUME XVIII.--NUMBER^.
THE
POTTER JOURNAL,!
PUBLISH BD BT
M. W. XeALARXET, Proprietor.
lo the cause of Republicanism, the in
tan-sUof Agrloi'l&nre, the advancement of Eiluentioii,
fcnd the beat irocd <t Potter omiitly. owning no ijuide '
except that of Principle, it will endeavor toaid in the;
work of more fully Freedomiziug 6nr Country.
U* Advertisements inserted ftt the following rste*.
•xcept where special bargains are made, A".-quire" ;
Is 10 lin-'B of Brevier or 8 of Nonpai eil types :
1 square, 1 insertion .....—; $1 • r> 6
1 quare,2 or 3 inanitions -
Kaeh •uhsisinent insertion less than 13 4')
1 square, 1 year >■ v >
Bit Iness Cards, 1 year ;
Ad ninistrator's or Exec.tor s Notice- J 110
8 lecial and Editorial Notices per line 20
a,#- All transient advertisements must be paid in
advance,and no notiee will he taken of adverti -omenta
from a distance, unless they are accompanied by the
tnoney or satisfactory reference.
KF* fob Work, of all kinds, executed With neatness
and despatch.
BUSINESS NOT 10ES.
Free anil Aeceptwl Ancient York .tliisons
IJtULALIA LODGE, No. 342, F. A. M. Stated!
j Meetings on the 2d and 4th '"ednes iaysoteach
hionth. Hall, in tlieSd Story of th Olmstrd Block.
Rfl Ti>llltH.ftllfl \VM. SHEAR, W.M.
<>. T. ELLISON. M. £>.,
¥)RACTICIXG PHYSICIAN. Coude-sport, Pa.,
L resnectfully informs the citizens ot the village and
vicinity that lie will promptly respond to all calls for
professional set vices. < Mice on First street, first door
Vr>-st of his residence. 17 40
JOHN S. MANN,
i TTOHNEY AI\D COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
T\ Coudersport, P:.., wdl attend the several Courts
In Potter anil Cameron counties. Ai! business en
trusted to his care will receive prompt attention.
Urtice ou Maui street, in residence.
OM9STEI) anl LAISKABEE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Coudersport, Penn's j
Will attend to all business entrusted to their
bare with promptness and fidelity. Will also attend
the several courts in the adjoining counties. Ollice
in the seeond storey of the Olmsted Block.
ISA AC BENSON,
a TTORNEY-AT LAW, Couder-port, Pa., will
J\_ attend to all business entrusted to him with care
and promptness. Attends Ootnis of adjoining coun
ties. Ollice ou Becond street,near the Allegany bridge
F. IV. KNOX.
ATTORNEY" AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
CoudersiMjrt, l'a., wdl attend the Uourts in Pot- j
*er and the adjoining counties.
MILLER A- MeAIiAKNKY,
ATTOR V'KYS-AT LAW, lIAHKisBCRe, I'enn'a.—
Agents for the Collection of Claims agaii.st the
United States and Slate Governments ~*u li as Pensions,
Bounty, Arrears of Pay,&c-Ad lress linx 93, nrrt-lui i g
W B MILLER, 4- C - " ALAHKEV
M. VV. McALABSEY,
EEAL ESTATE and IXSUR \NCE AGENT
Laud Bought aud Bold, Taxes paid and Titles j
investigated. Insures property against hie in th- best i
companies in tho Country, and Persons again-t Aeci
dents In the Travelers Insurance Company of Hart- ;
ferd. Business transacted promytly 17-29
I*. A. NTF.BBINN A < .,
MERCHANTS— Dealers In Dry Goods, Fabry
Goods, Groceries.Provisions,Flour,Feed,Pork,
and everything usually kept in a guod country store
•Produce bought and BId . 17 -9
C. 11. SIMMONS,
MERCHANT —WELL3VILLE X Y., Whdle
sale and Retail Dealer in Dry Goo Is, Fancy and j
BtapleGoods.Clothing, Ladies Dre-sG Oil- Gro ••ries.
Flour, Feed, Ac, Retailers supplied on liberal terms
CHARLES S. jeMN,
MERCHANT— Healers in DrttSs Medicines, "Hints,
Oils, Fancy Articles, Stationery, Dry Goods,
Airoceries, &c.. Main Street, Coudersport, Pa
I>. E. OLMSTED,
MERCHANT— Dealer in Dry Goods. Ready-made
Clothing, Crockery, Groceries, Flour, Feed,
Pork, Provisions, cfce., Main street. Con lers|K>it, Pa
COLLINS SMITH,
MERCHANT— Dealer in Dry Goods, Groceries,
Provisions, Hardware, Queensware, Cutlery,
and all GnOls usually found in a country store, n'6l
11. J. OLMSTED,
HARDWARE Mercnant, and Dealer in Stoves,
Tin and Sheet Iron-Ware. Main street, Couder j
s,jort, Penr.'a. Tin and Sheet Iron Ware made to
• r ier, in good style, on slvrt notice.
CO Cl> E Its DO IIT II OT EL.
HC.VERMILY"EA,PHOPRIKTOR, Corner of Main
. and Second streets. Coudei sport .Potter Co. Pa.
A Livery Stable is also kept in connection with this
Hotel. Daily Staves to and front the Railroads.
Potter Journal Job-OOice.
HAVING i atrly added a fine new assortment of
JOB-TYPE to our already large assortment,
we are now prepared to do all kinds of work, cheaply
and with taste and neatness. Orde 8 solicited.
LYMAN HOUSE.
lewisville, Potter county, Pennsylvania.
BURTON LEWIS. Proprietor, Having;
taken this excellent Hotel, the proprietor wishes
0 make the acquaintance of the traveling public and j
eels confident o! giving satisfaction to all who may j
nil on him. —Feb 12,66 tf
WOK K
I Monuments and Tomb-Stones
ijjf&iV of all kinds, will be furnished ou reasona
1 jfli Mv blc terms and short notic" by
HErr <• Rreunle.
Residence : Eulalia, miles south of
*r "i■ ii-41 —— -r*, Pa., on the Hinnemahening :
Road, or leave vour orders at the Post Office. fefl'S
DAN BAKER,
PENSION, BOUNTY and WAR CLAIM AGENCY
Pensions procured for Soldiers of the present
War who are disabled by reason of wounds received
v-disease contracted while ill the service of the Unite i
Slates ; and pensions, bounty, and arrears of pay ob
tained for widows or heirs of those who have died or
been killed while In service. All letters of inquiry j |
promptly answered, anil on receipt by mail of a state- i
inentof the case of claimant, I will forward the tie- '
ressary papers for their signature. Fees hi Pension ,
Cases as fixed bylaw. Refers to Ho is. Isaac Benson,
A. G. Olmsted, John S. Maun, and F. W. Knox, E.-u I
DAN BAKER, * :
Juncß 64 Claim Agent, Coudersport. Pa.
l[ * or Year! We want agents
CP every where to sell our IMPROVKD
Sewing Machines, Three new kinds. Under unit
upper feed. Warranted five years. Above salary
or large commissions paid. The ONLY machines sold I
In the United States for less than $49, which are fully
licensed by Howe, Wheeler &. Wilson, Grover Sc. Ba
ker, Singer Sc. Co.. Sc. B achelder. ALL other cheap ma- ,
chines are infringements and the seller or user are i
fiable to arrest, tine, and imnrisotinient. Circulars
roe. Address, or call upon Shaw Sc. Clark, Biode
ord, Maine, or Chicago, III.Deo. 26, 1563. iswly. j
Itcli:! Itqh ! Itcli!
SCRATCH! SCRATCH! SCRATCH!
WKIEATOM'S OWTME.XT,
Mill Cure the Itch in IS Hour's!
Also cures SALT RHEUM, ULCERS, CIIIL
LLAINS, end all ERUPTIONS OF THE SKIN
Price 50 cents. Fur sale by all drnggists. By sending
cents to WEEKS & POPPER. Sole Agents, 170
Waahlngton street,-Boston, it will be forwarded by j
fcail, free of }g>stage,to any part of the United States. '
SJldcJj'sj Troubles.
It's true for me, Katy, that I niver seed
i the like of this people afore. It's a sorry
time I've been having since coming to this
house, twelve months agone this week
; Thursday. Yer know that my fourth cous
in, Ann Macarthv, ricomminded me to
I Mrs. Whaler, and told the lady that 1
knew all about ginteel housework and the!
| likes; while, at the same time, I had niver
seed inter an American lady's kitchen. So
she engaged mc, and mv heart was jist
| ready to burst with grief for the story that
Ann had told, for Mrs. Whaler was a swate
spoken lady, and niver looked cross like in
her life; that I knew by her kind, smooth
face Well, jist the first tiling she told me j
to do, after I had dressed the children, was
to dress the ducks for dinner. 1 stood
looking at the lady a couple of minutes be
fore 1 could make out any moaning at all j
to her words. Thin 1 went searching alter
|clothes, for the ducks; aud such a time as
I had, to be sure. High and low I went,
till at hist my mistress axed me what for I
was looking; and I told her the clothes fori
the ducks, to be sure Och, and how she ;
screamed and laughed, til! my face was rid
as the sun wid shame, and she showed me:
in her kind, swate way what her meaning
was. Then she told me how to air the
beds, and it was a proud day for me, indade,
when 1 could go up chamber alone and
el are up the rooms. One day Mrs. Whaler 1
said to me—
"Biddy, an' yer may give the baby an
ailing, if yees will."
What should I do—and it is thrue,what
I am saying this blessed minute—but go
; up stairs wid the child, and shake it and,
thin howld it by its arms out, of the charn
j b'er winder. Such a scraming and kicking
as that baby give!—but I hild on to it the
harder. Ivery man and woman in the,
street looked up at me, and at last my
misthress came leaping up the stairs to see
what for was so much noise.
"I am thrying to air the baby," I said,
but it kicks and screams dridfuliy."
There was company down below, and i
whin Mrs Whaler told them what I had ;
j been aft her doing, I thought they would!
scare the folks in the fit rate wid their i
I serameing.
And then I was told that I mnst do up i
Mr. Whaler's linen sharts one day, when i
my misthress was out shopping. She
told me repeatedly to do them up nice, for
my master was goin' away, so I takes the
sharts and did them all up in some paper
j that I was aflher bringing from the old
! countlrry wid me, and tied same bright:
pink ribbon about the bundle.
"Where are the sharts, Biddy?" axed j
Mrs. Whaler, when she coined home.
"I have been atther doin' them up in a
ou-iir nice way," I said, bringin' her the!
bundle.
"Will you iver be done wid yer grane-i
ness?" she asked, with a loud scrame
I can't for the life of me be telling what
ilieir talking manes. At home, we call
the likes of this work fine starching-—and 1
a deal of it I have done too. Not longj
ago," Mrs. \\ baler was taching me to make I
j bread, she told me to wash my hands in j
the wash-dish before putting them into the'
dough Thin whin I washed the dish
cloth in the same dishj wid clahe water, 1
got a bit of scolding, and my misthress j
said it was not mite to be doin' so. 1 can't
fell,, of a truth I can't, why the dish I,
washed my hands in, when 1 was just put- j
ting them in the bread, was not clane
enough fo. the dish-cloih that was only
nare the dishes. Och! and may the hies-!
sed vargin bity me. for I nover'll be cured j
of my graneness;
THE PRINTER'S CHALLENGE — A week I
or two ago we published the challence
made by George A. Barber, of Detroit, in
which he proposed a trial of speed at case,
for from *<2,000 to §o,ooo, with any print
er who could plank up a like sum. No
doubt Barber will withdraw his challenge
without delay, as a coteniporary in Posey
county, Indiana, lias a checkmate for tho s
Detroit King, in the following:
"We have a compositor in this office, the
friction of whose movements over the type
in his stick fuses them solid like stereotype
plate. The only way to prevent this is to
have his case submerged in water, and the.
rapidity of his motions keeps the water
boiiing and bubbling so that eggs have fre
quently been boiled in the space box. Pipes
lead from the bottom of his case to a boiler
in the press-room, and the steam generated
bv our fast compositor's motions runs the
power-press. In one day lie set so much
type that it took all hands, from editor to j
devil, two weeks to read the proof, and
it wasn't his good day for for setting type,
either.,
it
George can pack his stick and trav. 1 to
Posey county, if he has in him the stuff of
which martyrs are made. Two hemis
pheres will breathlessly await the result,
which will we trurt, in consideration of the!
terrible suspense, he announced at the ear
liest moment. We are ready.
What is the difference between a wealthy
toper and a skilful miner? One turns his|
gold into quarts and the other turns bis j
quartz into gold.
fo flje of Jttfe lltftpehtog, ty* StWdW*# of ftfolqiififi Pel-qiqhj qi)D
COOBEESPORT, POTTER. CCUIJTY, FA., TUESDAY DECEIIBER 13, 1856.
QUESTIOSS I.\SH'£RS.
SOME WISE, BUT MOSTLY OTHERWISE.
If, according to Sam Weller, a soiree be
a leg of mutton and trimmings, what is a
soiree dansante? Ditto, with capers, to
be sure.
Why are country girls' cheeks like a
good print dress ! Because they are war
ranted to wash and n tain their color.
Why is wit like a Chinese lady' foot?
Because brevity is the sole of it.
What kind of paper resembles a sneeze?
Tissue paper.
Why is the letter S like thunder ? Be
cause it makes our cream sour cream.
Which is the most profitable of all busi
ness? The shoe, for every pair is soled
before it is finished.
Why are opera dancers like parricides ?
Because they execute their pas.
Why may a foolish fellow reckon on
having tho sympathy of a hatter? Be
cause a hatter has always Jelt for a fellow
in want of a liead-piece.
j Why is the coal-scuttle which Mary has
conveyed from the kitchen to the drawing
room like an infant put out to dry nurse?
Because it is brought up by hantl.
What portion of the trimmings of a
lady's dress resembles East India sherry of
the first quality ? That which goes round
the cape
Why is the Atlantic cable in its present
condition like a schoolmaster ? Because it
is supported by buoys (boys).
Why is one's father's Dose like a well
trained child ? Because it is always under
1 a parent's eye.
When mav the hand of a barometer be
supposed to be engaged in commercial
transactions? When it's cn 'Change.'
If you detected a false ghost, on what
j grounds could you accuse him of murder
ous intentions? Because it was trying to
frighten (fry ten) people.
What two letters would destroy all oth
ers, if allowed to do so ? DK.
When is Echo like a visiting acquaint
ance ? When she returns your call.
Why is an offering like a matrimonial
engagement ? Because it beging with an
j offer and ends with a ring.
What is the gentlest kind of spur? A
i whisper.
Why is a flirt like a hollow India-rubber
ball ? Because she is very empty and has
a great deal of bounce.
Why are an ear of wheat and an oak
similar in origin ? Because they both
spring from a corn.
When does Truth cease to be truth?
When it "lies at the bottom of a well."
Why is the ballad of Cock Robin's death
like tho letter C ? Because it makes a
eiark of the lark.
\\ by are A, E and U, the handsomest
jof the vowels ? Because you cannot have
j beauty without them.
! Why should Volunteers especially dis
like tire letter T? Because it turns rifles
into trifles,
Why is tlie letter C like a generous
fairy? Because it turns ash into cash.
; When are ladies cut to pieces? When
they are better halves.
Why is a worn out shoe like ancient
Greece ? Because it once had a Solon
! (sole-on).
Why is a man lifting a side of bacon oft'
a hook to he pitied ? Because lie is a poor
creature (pork readier).
What is the only jam a schoolboy will
not eat? Dooi jamb.
llow should you measure your lover's
j sincerity ? By his sighs.
Why is a nun invariably disappointed
! with her mode of life? Because it's "no
! and of a Cell."
V by is a man taking a nap like a man
reading a paper? Because he is enjoying
his (s)nooze
Why is one who loves praise, and abom
inates all sorts of verse, like a celebrated
corner of Westminister Abbey ? Because j
lie is a poet (s)corner.
What is tlie difference 1 between a spider
and a duck? One has its feet perpetually
on a web* aud the other a web perpetually
on its feet.
When do you see what is invisible?—
When you see how yon feel.
Why is the fish an eccentric animal ?
Because he will have Iris (s)whim.
Why is a soldier acting in compliance
with an order given him, like his most
formidable weapon ? Because he's " obda- .
in it" (a bayonet).
Why is the letter L like a precious gem?
Because it's in-valuable.
What is the difference between a chat
tering lover and a pedestrian excursion
through Wales? One is talking wooer,j
and the other is a walking tour.
Why is a man who asserts his right t < a
certain letter of the alphabet like one who
calls out? Because he X-daims.
Why is a poker like an angry word?
Beeause it often stirs up a smouldering fire.
Why is a beggar prevented by his name
from repairing his elothes? Because he is)
a mend-i-cant
If you make a perforation through a vol
ume of Shakespeare, why is that a math
emalieal absurdity? Because tho is
neater than the hole.
i° •
What is tho difference between Noah's
ark and an archbishop? One was a very
high ark, but the other was a hierarch.
Which is the most wonderful animal in
! a farmyard ? A pig, because he is kilied
1 first aud cured afterwards.
' Why must on analytical chemist be a
female ? Because if he's not an analyzer
\ (Ann Eliza) he must be a charlatan (Char
lotte Ann).
, Which is the noisiest shop in the neigh
borhood ? The confectioner's, because
, there is always a (u)ice (s)cream there.
When may a fisherman who has caught
only a few fish be better off than one who
has landed a greater number? When he
has taken a good-eel more than the other.
O
f Why does a chicken three weeks, three
days and three hours old walk across the
, road ? To get to tlie other side.
What is the difference between a piece
!of honeycomb and a black eye ? One is
produced by the laboring bee, and the other
by a belaboring.
What is the difference between accepted
and rejected lovers? The accepted kisses
' the miss, and the rejected misses the kiss.
GOOD ADVICE. —Never, says an ex
change, use a lady's n;q|>e in an improper
t place, at an improper time, or in mixed
f company. Never make assertions about
her that you think are untrue, or allusions
that you feel she herself would blush to
hear. Many a worthy woman's character
has been forever ruined and her heart
broken by a lie, manufactured by a villain,
. and repeated where it should not have
• been, aud in the presence of those whose
little judgment could not deter them from
* circulating the foul and fiendish report.
[ Respect the name of woman, for your
mother and sisters are women; and as you
would have their fair names untarnished,
and their lives unembittered by slanderous
, biting tongues, heed the ill your own words
may bring upon the mother, tho sister, or
the wife of some fellow creature.
Answer lo a "Call."
The following answer substantially, with
, names omitted, was recently returned to a
1 "call" exteuded by a Home Missionary
' Agent to a young minister -to "settle" in
tlie interior of one of the Western states:
"DEAR BROTHER: —Allow me to group
a few objections against going to .
I speak by the card.
"1. You know that state is considered
the worst in the I'nioi, that county the
worst in the state, that town the worst in
the county, and that neighborhood has the
, worst set of men in the town. One man
there is 'such a son of Belial, that a man
cannot speak to him' (1 Bam. 25: 17.)
He is considered, however, tlie best man in
town. The prophet Samuel had also the
advantage in his day in that Nahul had a
good wife; but this man's wife is worse
than himself. 'The Lord also smote Nabul
that lie died,' but this man and his wife
are still alive. Y'ou are right when you
call it 'rather a tough country, but the
grandest kind of a mission field. 1
'2. The mud is from three to five feet
deep, alluvial deposit of that depth lying
upon a substratum of clay impervious to
water. This under stratum of clay, how
ever, is the only salvation of the country,
preventing everything from sinking and
. sinking below it. All traveling is done on
horseback; but my horse is not long-legged
enough to touch the under stratum. The
tradition is, that when the Creator finished
cementing the world, He threw an extra j
hodful of mortar down in this place.
"3. Mosquitoes are of the mammoth'
kind, generally termed galiiuippers. Many
of them will weigh a pound, and they climb
up on tho trees and bark.
"4. Fever and ague indiginous. Conn
try flat and streams run b th ways Ague
j shakes even the bark off of ail except gum
trees. Few have ever crawled out of the
sixteen-mi'es swamp alive and they were
shaken out by the chills
"5. The inhabitants arc not as loving as
cooiug doves. The last commandment,,
'that ye love one another,' probably has not
reached them yet, as they live so far in
land. Indeed it is the Kilkenny cats over
j again. You know the cats fought all night,
! when nothing could he found but a cloud
of fur and tlie tip of Nerval's tail. So
Nerval beat. Well, a cloud of fur has
rested over this district a score of years
Bobtails of no account.
"0. That salary of S3OO (maximum)
' must be a mistake, as that is a larger sum
of money than has ever been heard of in
the country.
"There is one advantage, however, to be
| mentioned in this connection. Pastors in
, this district have generally been 'settled'
for life. Their longevity, however, has not
been remarkable.
"All things considered, I think I had
better decline the call, hoping that the sue
cessful candidate may make his 'will' before
he 'settles.' lie might get his life insured
had not all the life insurance companies
abandoned that part of tlie country.
"It is fortunate that 'the church lias no
1 man in view'—l mean for the man!"
Mrs. Partington says that because danc
ing girls are stars,it is no reason they should j
j be regarded as heavenly bodies.
Io j i
51 Advices from South America are import
'l ant. Bolivia was concentrating troops and
! preparing for an invasion of Buenos Avers.
)' The Paraguayans had assumed the offen
-1 sive and bombarded the Brazilian camp.
Peru had declined the mediation of France
i and England in her difficulties with Spain.
Advices from Mexico continue to be
interest ing, although not very important.
. i Cauales' surrender to Kseobedo, simply con
i 1 sisted in transferring his command to the
hitter's division, the command being retain
t ed by Can ales, Maximilian was at Grifcaba
,on the 25th ult He was expected in Mexi
}! co soon. It was believed that he would re
ceive Minister Campbell and General Sheri
? dan favorably. His very stiange conduct
. of late warrants the suspicion of insanity.
jgtT A Washington dispatch announces
1 that the Senate will pass, by a two-thir s
1 vote, bills for the admission of Colorado and
1 j Nebraska into the Union. The rapid ex-
I' tension of one of the eastern branches of
the Pacific railway through Nebraska is
hastening its development, and Colorado
will soon be reached \>y the branch that is
- i being constructed through Kansas.
i O O
j. ■ • 1 ~
I Sf-JT" An ex-rebel major general in the
t i South west decliues to converse on politiea'
J matters, because he cousidets himself a pa
, roled prisoner, and as such has not the right
, to dictate what the policy of Congress or
1 the President should he. How much bet
'ter it would be for the country if all who
. served in the armv of tieason thought and
2 acted as this officer does.
1 FACE'S PRAYER ANSWERED. —Once
upon a time there resided in Peebleshire,
r *
i Scotland, a half-witted sort of a man who
had a notiou that he was ratner religious,
' and who was in tlie habit of saying his
S • o
jday this individual was followed to his re
tirement by some evil disposed persons,
; who screening themselves on the opposite
jside, prepared to listen to what he should
I | saw Jack commenced his devotions, and
i, amongst other things, expressed his con
victiou that he was a very great sinner, and
i that even were the turf-dyke at that liio
ments to fall upon him, it would be
4 no more than he deserved. No sooner
■. had he said this than the persons on the
opposite side pushed the dyke over upon
1 him. Scrambling out from amongst the
*; debris, Jack was heard saying, "Ilech, sirs!
i it' an awfu' world this; a body cannot say
■ j a thing iu a juke but it's t'aen in earnest."
,j QUICK WORK. —We heard a story told
I of a "Yank" which we must repeat. He
, belonged -to Sherman's crockery-smashing
J squad when on their little pleasure trip to
t the sea. Being separated from his com-;
. jmand one dark night, lie found himself
! hotly pursued by a squad of yellow rebels.
. j Racing down a rbugh ravine, his horse fell,
i ; throwing, and giving him a stunning fall,
.'and then galloped away. When lie recov
| ered he commenced feeling round in the;
darkness for his steed. Presently he en
countered the carcass of a skinned horse;
,| after feeling it carefclly all over from nose'
to tail, he came to the sage conclusion that j
'it was his own. "Well," said he; "I swou j
jto gravy, if that ain't quick work; no soon-;
cr down than the hide's of. I'm glad
! they didn't find me." He gave hi§ opin
ion on his return to camp that leather
must be "pesky skurce among the rebs, and
that they beat "creation a skiuniu quick." j
Two good-natured Irishmen, on acer
tain occasion, occupied the same bed. In i
the morning one of them inquired of the
other:
"Dennis, did you hear the thunder last
uight?"
"No, Pat; did it railev thunder?"
"Yes; it thundered as if hiven and airtli
would come together."
"Why in the divil, thin, didn't ye wake
me, for ve know I can't slape wheu it j
thunders:"
A man who had won a fat turkey at a
raffle, and whose pious wife was very in
quisitive about tho method of obtaining the
poultry, satisfied her at last uy the remark j
that the "Shakers" gave it to kiui.
giT The Tennessee House of Represen
tatives has killed a bill to establish free
schools. We are sorry for the 79,000 white i
adults in that State who cannot read or 1
write. A little learning is a dangerous
thing to legislators, and these seem to have
just enough education to want to keep the
people in ignorance.
JC-rS"* A coteniporary likens the effect of
tlie Chicago Tones' policy for the Dem
ocratic party to that of castor oil on the !
boy, who made a wry face and said to his 1
mother, "I don't think I quite iike castor
oil — its & Utile too rich."
The most astonishing fbh story
yet told is the statement by Prof. Agassiz,
that ih Brazil they have a species of fish;
which can climb trees and bark. Fact?
they ascend by a series of scales.
A bell to le placed On the engine-house i
i at Meadeville weighs one ton. ■
TERMS.- $1.50 FER /.KN'JM.
CCNGRSSS
WASHINGTON, Dec. 8, 186(H
Congress has been in session four days?
and adjourned over till Monday; but the
House in that brief space has planned work
enough for a winter. Committees of t in
vestigation have been ordered,the President
snd the departments have been called bff
for a variety of useful information. Thd
New Orleans massacre is to be cleared up;
; the repeated murders of Union men at thd
South are to be inquired into, and the free
; ident's wholesale removals from office in*
i veatigateo.
The Hone has commenced the session ill
a proper spirit, and its work promises td
be conducted iu the right manner. I have
seen nothing iu the proceedings of thd
House, whether in its daily sessions or the
three caucuses it has held, which changes'
the opinion formed before Congress met —'
that no serious attempt to impeach the Pros '
. ident will be made. No doubt some very
, excellent members favor it; but three fourths
| if not live-sixths; are totally opposed to any
thing of the kind, unless Mr. Johnson at
j tempts to do something worfie in the futiifd
I than he has done in the past. It is barely
, possible , however, that the investigations
ordered may develop his connection wit It
the murder of Union men at the South.
| It is possible (but improbable) that he has
. been crimir ally negligent in the arrest of
i Surrat; but, inasmuch, as the alleged assass
, in is in custody of U- S. authorities, an im-
1 1 peaclnnent on this ground will hardly bd
jthought of bv anybody.
As I understand the matter, the inve.-ti'
> gatious ordered by the House have no pg
tiular reference to an impeachment. The
i j House and the country want the facts.
, Besides, an investigation of any kind usu
,{ally has a most wholesome effect upon
• {evil-doers. The South understands now
j that a committee of investigation is ready
at any moment to take up the case of'V
. | poorest negro, or that of the proudest ivi>' i'
1 The World is to know how white rebels treat
1 loyal freed men. Nothing khnccToMn Id
■I be hid. The field of investigation niti.-t he
1 wide when a man of the world, like fc?lieri
jdan, says, in his report, that in T*xas* the
• trial of a white man for the murder c'f a
rjfreedman "is a farce." Sheridan is no
• j "Abolitionist," no "Radical," I even doubt'
, if he is a "Peepublican;" yet be reports this
•! atrocious state of things to Gen. Grant:
1 { The object of these investigations, then?
, is to elicit facts, and with them ediicrfir the
public mind. This is right. A lew of
j our friends seem to desire to punish the
{ President for his bad conduct. No doUut
he deseves punishment; but there is a no
bler work for radicals to engage in thaif.
that. It has seemed to me at times as if
; certain Radicals were more indignant over
the wrongs of removed office-holders ilia i
jof the freedmeu—that they think mo.e di
j filiiug lucrative offices with Republicans
I than they do of giving the black man his
political rights. Probably lam mistaken
hut, if I am not, I frankly admit that there
is good ground for intense iudignatiou at
the treachery of the President in his dis l -'
' placement of Republicans from office,
j The Senate takes up the suffrage ques
Lion (for the District of Columbia) oh Mon
day. Senator Morrill, of Maine, opens the
debate with an argument for impartial suf
frage. It is tolerably certaiu that Congress
will at its present session give to the color
ed men of the District the same politic:? 1
j rights as those enjoyed by white men If
any limitations are made, they will apply
to all alike.
Nothing has yet been done upon the sub
ject of reconstruction; but the House has
revived the committee; and this is signiti
| cant for the present a majority of the Re
publican members seem inclined to
upon the Constitutional Amendment; IVc
in times like these parties drift, for t¥.y
i cannot anchor. Let the South ponder t his
i fact;—D.W.B. in the JVI Y. Independent.
TIIE SECRET OF Mr. STANTON'S p RATION
in remaining a Cabinet officer is explained
| by a statement that he is .determined not
to be driven from his positiou, and that lie
i has resolved to stand by the inteiols of the
(people without any regard to the police of
the President. This is the exp an: t -u
'given by George Wilkes, of the New York
spirit of the Times.
i SENATOR WADE, in his remarks IN" FAVOR'
| of his proposed amendment of the Consti
tution prohibiting the re-eleciiou of a i Pree>i- #
dent, stated thut one of the chief sources of
the political troubles in this country for the'
| past forty years had been the improper us i
lof Government patronage by Presidential
iucumbents to secure a rc-elocGrrt*.
A Dublin dispatch -dated Friday nirhf
i says: "The purposes and proceedings of the'
j Fenians in this island monopolize the at ten
tion of the Irish Government. The Grant!
Lodge of Orangemen have held a m.-ei iug
and issued an earnest call for the )< m!>ei>-
i of their order to support the gowrtt'itteul it*
' its endeavors to keep the peace.
A roinautic young man says that a voting
woman's heart is like the moon; it clwing-*'
| continually, but it always lia- a man it?