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Rr- SB FIRMNESS IN THE RIGHT AS GOD GIVES U3 TO SEE THE RIGHT. Lincoln. amflg aiict-futil to folitta, itctatutc, owc ami PtteUMm! to, k, fa. VOL. X WAYNESBUIIG, PA., WEDNESDAY. MAY 8. 1867. NO. 48. lit iciHl)Ufan. KV K It i TVK I1X K SU A Y MOUNTS Bt JAS. E. SAVERS Or HOB IX SAYEUS' IIUU.DINO, COUIIT llnUSK. EAST UK TIIK , FIRST NlTIOiYlL Ml, or Waynostours, D. Bonkb, Pres't. J. C. Fi.knnik.km, Cashier. DISCOUNT DAY TUESDAYS. May 10, 'i!G.-ly. B A. M'CONNKLL. J. IIUHH" M'CONNELL & HUFFMAN Attorneys and Counsellors at law Wayntsburg, Ptnn'a. -Offiow ji the " Wrlirht Ilouac," East doore. Collooi'oci, &c, will receive prompt ttontlpn. Wafuesburg Au: u-t 26, 1862. tf. LEWIS DilY, TvEALEIt IN Books Stationery, Willi Paper, 1 Window Paner. &e. Sunday School Books of all kinds constantly on hand, room in Mrs. Rush's building, fcrmcrly occupied by Cnttorell Taylor, V ayucsuurg, 'a. May 9, 'tiG.-ly Robert lotisiit'it, Carriage Manufacturer Waynksiiuho, Pa., RESPECTFULLY gives notice that lie has located in Waynesborg, Pa-. where he in tends to manufacture O A It ltlAGES Of evcrv description. From his experience in tlm lnwinnm. tin feels confident thai his work, in style, finish and durability, will Rive entire sa'-isfaction. It is his determination to purchase the best material in market, und employ none but competent workmen, car All now work warranted for one year. Wavnesburc. Feb. 21. 18(10 -t j IV . fii . EI V f V iH A. IV j MERCHANT TAILOR, BOOM IN ll-ACUl.r.Y'S Ilim.DISO, WAYNKSIIITIIO. WORK made to order, in finest and best style, Cutting and Fitting 'lone prompt ly, nnd' according to latest lashion plates. Stock on hand and for sale. May 2, tl wm. zoo-Hoy. WATCHES AND JEWELRY. MAI.C RTllKKT, Ofl'OSITE CM! T IIOUSK. KEEPS ON HANDS ALWAYS A choice Biid select assortment of watches nnd Jewelry. Kcpainug done ai uiu iowusv um, ai". iy JUST OPENED BY "POSITIVELY the most complete Hotel in L our town, Everything combined to fur nish tho best accommodation ever yet offered to the public, , Meals furnished at all hours, table provid ,1 win. Mm lu'-it. nf Hie season. Travellers and (liose desirous of refreshment will do well to call, "Tom still retains tus out reputation of an accommodating gentleman, ami hospitable landlord. House, the one for merly occupied bv tho "Messenger" Olllce. May'll.'(ii.-ly. PEOPLES LIN E STEAMER 'CHIEF TAIN," R. R. AmiAMs, Commander, dipt R. C. Mason, Clerk; leaves Brownsville daily at 7 a. m., for Pittsburgh, and lcavo that citvat fl r. m., daily, STEAMER "ELECTOR," Ronnnt Phil lips, Commander ; It. O. Taylob, ClerK ; leaves Greensboro, for Pittsburgh Mondays, Wednesday and Friday, and return on Tues day, Thursday and Saturday, leaving Pitts burgh at 2 r. m. May I0,'GU.-Gm. S. B. HOLLAND, Baroroft tks Co. Importers nn Jobbers of Staple and Fancy Dry Goods. Cloths. Casslincrs, Blankets, Llnoiis, Whito Ooods, &c, &c, Nos, 405 & 407 Markkt Sthket, Abovt Fourth, North SiJf, PHILADELPHIA, PA. gSTMr. Holland takes occasion to advlso tho retail merchautsot Greene, Washington nnd adjoining counties that ho will call upon them and solicit their custom for tho above named house. Those wishing to address him can do to at BcallsviUc, Pa. tub 13 '(,7-lf. SADDLE ANDHARNESS MAKER- i (In Wilson's Buildino, Main St.) Saddles', Bridles, Flames, kept on hand nnd made to order. Work done in the best style, 'and at reasonable rates. crRcpairing a speciality on short notice. Farmer friends go look at his stock. 4;24-ly. 111 I j vui un a Dcalor In Books and Stationery, Mngnzlnos, Dally Papers Fancy Articles, i&c, Way nesburg, Pa. apl,'GC-ly- IXECTJT0RS' NOTICE. LETTERS TESTAMENTARY on the estate of P. a. Myers, Sr. late of Greene township, Greene county, dee'd., having been granted to tho undersigned, notice is hereby given to all persons Indebted to said estate to make immediate payment and those hay lug claims to present them immediately, prop perly authenticated for settlement. A. L. MYERS, ' , of Marion township, ; JACOB REYMER,. ;Mw , of Greene tp., Ewcutors. DEMOCRACY'S NEW BCHN LOVE. Am ! tuf Owim." Th" ni-iht Is d.irk and doleful ton, Each mi'iiit'iit ling us troubles new i Wo tremble mi perdition's brink , O help us, uig.er, or w sink 1 0 darkies dear ! wo never meant To have a "while man's Oovirument," And though we used to say you stink ; Yet, hrlp us, niggers, or we sink 1 Trust not for freedom to tho Yanks, But let us buss on Dixie's banks, Buss, dine and sup on Dixie'r brink ; 0 help us, niggers, or we sink I AVn swear we love your color well, We'll paint ourselves as black as hell, We'll hug you tight and never blink, O help us, niggers, or we -iuk ! Upon the street we'll give you irreettngg, And make you chairman of our meetings; And treat nnd pay lor very drink , Ohelp us niggers, or we sink I Our peck of dirt we'll gla illy cat, Until liepuhllcans wo defeat ; Then, by the Lord ! we'll turn our coat, And hold you niggers by the throat ! F. oni the Toledo Blade. NASUY. Tim Nkoiio Von: Mn. Nasbv in Imitation of Wauk Hash-ton. Tiiiks to C'osch.iatk TUB Al'lllCAN TllU Hl.SULT OF TUB ViiN- Teiir. Post Oitis, Conki:i)I!1T X Roads, (Wivh is the Suit uv Kentucky,) March 28, 18U7. I hev had mniiy ttuiKlen ami rather 'stordinary changes in poltlix scmo so very su.ldun tlmt tho movement prodooat cotijestion uv the conscience. I rekol lect wunst uv advocatin free tratle and high proleotive tarifi', all wilhin twelve hours, (I iu:tde a epeech iu a agricul tural destrik uv Now York in tho tore noon at 10 A. M,, and in a maimfacturir) 'own in Pennsylvnny in tho evenin.) our platform beiu so conslruktid that both Wles could tilid a oiidorseinont in it, and hev performed many other feats uv mor al gyninastiks ; but this last change I hev bin called upon to mako is probably tlie nU'ideiiesl. Last tveeK, loos'.lay, Deekiu Pogrnm, Captain MoPultcr and I was engaged in riddia tho Corners uv niguers Wo lied cndooi ed cm ez loni. ez we thot possible, and determined on stand in it no longer. Select'n three wich wo tvuz salUtijd hod too tnueli .peiliu book into em to be enslaved agin, we wuz preparin uotiaes to bu served onto em orderin um to leave v twenty-four houri", when I resecved in the Northern mill a letter marked 'Freu Alexand r W. R.mdtdl, M. I knowe 1 ii wuz ollishul to wnnst that blessul aig- na'.our is on my iMiimnsiiiiii, nnd 1 ve uutitemp! ;t:d it to Ron 1 1 bu ini-taken in it." Its contents wuz brief, and read tlm ! To all 1' iHtinasterj in the Southern S atiB : Tlie nliir hev voies coiis'il taheii is our bust, holt. See to it.' This brief tho not hard to be under s ood order wuz soalud with the ofti-diel seal uv the Post Ollis Department stuinpt into putty instead uv wax, to wit : A loaf uv bread under a roll uv butter, with tcu hand, a grtibbin at it. I compre hended the situashen at site, and set about dooiu my duty with both Roman and Sparlen firmness. 'Deekin, sez 1, learin up the notises, 'these niggers we hev misunderstood. They are not a in ferior race they are not desoendeuta of Ham and Hagur it wuzu'l Paul's idea in sendin back Onesimns to condemn bira to scrvitood wo hev misunderstood the situashen, and must make amends. The nigger is devoid uv smell, and is trooly a man and a brother !' 'Vatf eaid the Deekin, tippia back in amazement. 'Jest wal I say,' sez I, 'read that,' and I flung him the letter. The upshot. uy the conforenco wich fullered ivuz the culling uv a meetin the next nite, at wich till the Ethiopians uv tho Cornora wuz invited and urged!- to be present' Tho trouble wuz to git tho niggers to attend tho meetin. The fust one I spoke to lafTt in my face, and asked mo how long it wuz eeoce I bed helpt hang a couple uv niggers, by way ol finisben off a oelebrashcn. Pullok, tho Illinois storekeeper, got hold of it, and told Joo Digler, and Joo swore that et tho niggers hedn't any more sense than we give em oredit for, in sposin we oood bamboozle em so ohecp, he shood go back to the old beleet, to wit : that they wuz only a tooperior race uv moukoys, after all and by nite eyery nigger in the vicinity wuz posted thoroughly, and out uv all uv em I oood only git four who would promise to attend, and them the Deekin bed to pay 8 apiece to. To give it eel iw I promised one uv cm $5 (in be paid ai ilie closiii of the meetin) to sit on (be nIiiikI wiib me, wich, beiu nvery poor man, mid heviu a nick wile in a shanty i. ear by. who wuz suffcrm for medicine, (wich he coedcut git without . money.) lie accepted. At this pint an idee struck me. I re" numbered Phil idelty, and determined to hev a scene nvalin the Couch and Or bunis 'Another thing. Cuff, un- demand that its a part uv the hargqm that when in my speech I turn to voo and stomp, you must rise and embrace me.' 'Watt' sez he. Fall into my arms, lovin like you uiidersiand jist as tho we wuz long, long since brotheiB !' '.Souse me I' sod he. 'I'so a nitty low tiiggcr, and wants to buy do old woman some quinine, and wood di mos' any thing foah dat, but, golly, dai's too much !' 'Not a cent,' sed I sternly, assoomin my most pieroinost gizs, 'ouless this is included!' 'Well,' returned he, sulkily, 'ef I must, I speck I must, but golly ' The Kite arrived and Um muetiti house wuz full. We thot fust uv holdin it in the chapel uv the College, but give up the idee as impracticable, ez owin to tli dillytorinis uv our Northeru Irenes in forwardin sich subsoripshens ez tliey iiev raised, wo hevn t got no further with the bililiu than layin the cor1 tier stun. In the front wuz the four niggers, a',1 in clean shirts, and on the stand wuz the uiggur I lied engaged. Over tho platform, wuz tho follerin mot toes : 'In loonion titer is strength For President in 1808, Fernando Wood ; For Vtco President, Frederick Duglis. 'In the nigger, strength In the Cau casian, beauty In the inulatter, who is irooly tho noblest uv ths human race both. In a Id imIioii to these, we dug up all the old mottoes wich Jefferson writ, about yootiiversal liberty aud sioh, wich hedn't bnen quoted iu Kentucky for twenty years, and posted em up ; iu breef, hed Wen lell Phillips' blessid spor et bin a hoverin over that meetin house, it would hev smiled approvinly. I spoke to em elokenlly on the yooni- verse! brotherhood uv mankind, holdin that whatever else ooo 1 bu said, Adam was the father of all mankind, and that the only difference between a white man and a iiigj-er wuz, the ni;ir wuz sun burnt. The niggur, I roinarkt, wuz. undoubtedly, oni ally whi'e, but lievin mi. seuce Ins arrival in this cnunl' V. addicted to agi iciiltoorul pursoots, he hed In-coiiiH lunni'il to a degrco wich, tho it marred his physical beauty, did not in- terfere with hissterlin goodness uv heart liter hed bin ditlorences botscen the races it times thor hed bin onpleasant' nises wich no one rcgrctid more than I Tho whiles uv the Corners hed not alluz bin ez considiil ez I oood hev wished fhey hed tlog.d several uv em, aud hung many more, and in times past lied held em in slavery and sich, but that shood not be thot uv at this happy timo. It wuz constitooshnel to do those things then, and Kentucky wuz eminently a law abidin Stnto. 'Here,' sez I, 'on this platform, with the flag uv our common country over me, I declare eternal friend, i-hip to the eolored man, and to so el the deularaslien I thus embrace The obstinit nigger did'nt stir a step. 'Come up and fling yoor arms around me yoo black cuss,' I sed in a stage whisper, 'Come up.' No yoo don't boss, sod the niggor, in a loud voice which was atidibl i to all over the church, and holdin out his hand. 'I can't trust you a brcssid min. it. Gib mo do $o fust. Yoo oivo dis child foah dollars now fo' sawin wood to' yoah post oflis, and ef we's a gwine to hah our riles do fuss yoose I shel put mine to will be gittin dat niouey. Pay up fun and do braoo afterward, I can't do siuh a disagreeable thing widout do cash'iu advance' This ruiher destroyed tho effect. Tho unities wnzn't preserved. Tho niggors in front bust out in a torturing laff, and Pollock and Digler roll'd in oonvulfions uv lafturo, in wich half uv our pooplo joined. Mo a slandin petrified, in the attitude oi embrauin, that cussid mggor standin with bis hand extended for the money, with tho Deekin and Basoora horror struck jist behind, formed a tab loo wich was more strikin than pleasant. The meotin wuz to wunit Adjourned, h r it wuz evident to the dullest coiiipre- hi'ii-lieii thnt notliiii more consent bu done that nite. Kz yoosual I fii'e 1 im want uv capital. UeU 1 bin po-cest uv the paltry sum of lie dollars how differ etit wood h' v been the result! Per' chance wo may, thro that deiishuncy i i i 1 v. i ioho ivcii'uoKV. it must never occur , agin my salary must bo raised. Icaii ! iiuiko brix wilhouUfltaw. Joe Digler met mo next inornin and remarkt tlmt. he legrctted the occurrence ez ho ardently desired to see the two n: ces a pullin together. 'The fault, Per i fesser,' sed ho, 'wuz in not mai.atri properly. The ii' xt time yoo want 'spectable nigger to sit on the platform with yoo and the Deekin, or kiss or ein brace yoo git him drunk. He'll do then, probably I, know he will. Ef he drunk enuff he'll hurrah for Johnson, an it's possible to get em down to tho pin uv votin with you. Lord ! how whisky drags a man down, 'See wat it's hrot yoo to! and the 'insiiltiu wretoh rolled off lallin boisterously. 'Get cm drunk Perfesser,' he yelled ez loug tz ho oood see mo. We don't intend to give it up. Big ler's advice wuz given in jest, but, never ihi.lbss, I shall act upon it. Whisky is wat bungs white men to us, and ef white man kin be thus capohered, wh not a nigger ? Tho Atrioauhczii't got v far to fall to git down to our level, and it'll tako less to bring him. Dascom or uered live barrels to day, wicti 1 sposo the adniiiiistrashfln will pay for, W have yet the Noo York Custom House, ard more uv the purkesils must be yoos ed for polilikle purposes. Pivntoi.KCM V. Nasby, P. M (Wich is Postmaster,) and likewise Pro fessor of Biblikle Politicks in the Southern C'lassikle and Military Insti toot. GRANT SHERMAN M'PHERSON. Inteuestino Lettkhs not IIkkktofoke Ten M8IIED. The Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War havo just issued their report in an immense volume, containing to ports by Generals Sherman, Thomas, Pope and other Generals. The volume contains many documents never yet pub lished, and among them the two follow ing letters : PrivatR. Nashville, Tenn., March 4, 1801. I)t-:t Si i Kit man Tho bill reviving the t rade td l.icutf I'unt General in the army has hecoam a law, and my name has been font to the Seimti? for the place. I now ro.vivu order to r 'poil to Wash ington iniuii-dia i-ly in peison, whiil indicates t iilu-r a confirmation or a liko I hood of confirmation I si.nl in iI,h morning to comply with the order, but I ha'l say very distinctly on my nrriva there that I ucuei-t uo appointment which will require me to make that city my headquarters, This, however, is nut what I started out to write about. While I have b.on eminently successful in this war, in at least the confidence of the public, no ono tccls more than me huw much of this success is due to the energy, skill, nud harmonious putting forth ot that energy and skill, nf those whom it is has been my good fortune to have occupy a subordinate position under me. There are many ofliccrs to whom these remarks are applicable to a greater or less degree, proportionate to their ability as soldiers. lint what I want is to express my thanks to you aud McPherson, as the men to whom, above all others, I feel indebted for whatever I have had of success. How far your advice and suggestions have been of as sistance youjiuow. How far your exe. cution of whatever has beeu given you to do entitles you to tho reward I nm receiving, you cannot know as well as I. I feel all the g rutitudo this Utter would express, giving it the most flatter ing construction. Tho word 'you' I-uso in the plural, intending it for McPherson also. I shall write to bi n, and will some day t but, starting in the morning I do not know that I will find time just now. Your friend, U. S. Guant, Major General. Private and confidential. NiiAii Mhmi'iu8, March 10, 1804. Dbau GisNiiiiAL I have your more than kind aud characteristic letter of tho 4th. I will s.nd a copy to Gonoral McPherson at once. You do yourself injustice, and us too much honor, in as signing to us so large a share ot the merits whioh have led to your high ad vancement. I know you approve the friendship I havo evsr oonfessed to you, and will permit me to ooutinue, as here tofoie. to manifest it on all proper oo oaston You are now Washington's legitimate successor, and occupy a po anion of almost dangerous elevation. But it you continue as heretofore, to be yourself, simple honesi and unpretend ing, you will Hiij y through Itto the re spect and love of friends, and the hom age of ni'llion of human beings that will award you a large share in securing to them and their descendents a govern nient ot law and stability. I repeat, you do General McPherson and myself too much honor At Belmont you man ifestcd your traits, neither of us being near. At Fort Donaldson, also, you illustrated your whole character. I was not near and General McPherson, in too subordinate a capacity to influence you Uut I you had won Donaldson I confess I was almost cowed by the terrible array of anurchial elements that presented themselves at every point ; hut that ad mitted tho ray of light which I have followed since. I believe you are as bravo, patriotic and just as the great prototype, Washington ; as unselfish, kindhcaned and honest as a man should be ; but your chief characteristic is the simple faith in success you hive always manifested, which I can liken to nothing else than the t ilth a Chris tmn has in a Saviour. This faith gave yon victory at Shiloh and Vicksburg. Also, when yon havo completed your best preparations you go into battle without hesitation, as at Chattanooga- no doubts, no reserves; and I tell you it was this that made us act with confi dence. I knew, wherever I was, that you thought of , mo, and it I got ma tight plaoe, you would come if alive. My only points of doubt were in your knowledgo ot grand stategy and of books ot science and history ; but I con fess your common sense seems to have supplied nil these, Now. as to tlie fu ture. Don't stay in Washington. Hal leck is better qualified than you to stand tho buffets i f intrigue aud policy. Come West, l ake to yourself the whole Mis sissippi Valley Let us make it dead sure, ami I tell you the Atlantic slopes and Pacific shores will follow- its destiny as sure us the limbs of a tree live or die with the main trunk. We have d one in neb, but slill much remains Time's influences are with us. We could almost afford to ait still and let these influences work. Even iu the seceded States your word would now go farther than a Pieaidenl's proclamation or an act of Congress, l'or Gods sake, and your country's sake. come out ot Washington. I for- told to General llalleck, before he left Corinth, the inevitable result ; and I now i-xhort you to come out West. Hero 1ms the sent of the coming einiuie. and from the West, when our task is one. wo will make short work of Charleston and Richmond, and the im n f ished coast of the Atlantic. Your sincere trieud, W. T. SueitMAN, General Grant. COptN'DRUMS. A late nu saber of the Galaxy contains an exhaustive article on tho subject of conundrums. It might bo called a digest ot tlie art. The following will show it to be a very simple ai t : We will use thd dictionary once more. Turn to s; and discover which words there are which will furnish a pun by omitting the s t nr instance, sonooi; take offs and you have cool. Now picked thus; Why is a man who does not lose bis temper liks a schoolmaster? lWause he (keeps school). When does a man entertain his horse aud guest like T When they both feed at his iblo (his stable). Why is a man who goes up town aner oeer iiKe me goous in an auctioneer's store t Because he is p for 's ale (up for sale). Why ii sper maceti like a busybody t Because it makes scandals. There are others made on the same principle, but tor which the ictionary affords but little help, as when we say that an old dog is like an inclined piano, beoauso he's a slow pup (slope up); or that housoanuot sea im mortality, beoauso tliey get thoir necks twirled (next world) in this. One of the worst of this kind was Dr. Holmes's Why is an onion like a piano t Beoause its smell's odious. A pun can also be made sometimes, by drawing or lengths ening out the prouuuciatiou of a word, ns when we say that the kind of monkeys thnt grow on grapo vines are gra-apes. A style of coaundrum has become very frequent and popular which is fotin dod on a transportation oi letters or words, giving a new aud surprising vi : i i . . i sense. I nave opoueu one pae.ngo ui this class. Tho first one is as follows ; What is the differeuco between stabbing man and killing a swine t One is as sault with intent to kill, the other is killing with intent to salt. So it it di& covered ot a cat and a document that on has claws at the end ot its paws and the other has pauses at the end ot its clause; of a wife and an editor, that one sets articles to right and the other writes articles to set t of the eagle and a certain kind of dog, that ono is a tarricr in the sky and the other is a Sky terrier ; of the permission to speak and the command not to speak, that in onocasoyou are al 1 wed to talk and in the other you are not to talk aloud ; of a pound of meat and a drummer boy, that one weighs a pound and the other pounds away t ot au utterer of spurious eoin and a false heir, that one issues a counterfeit and tlie other counterfeits an issue ; of a church organist and the influenza, that one know the stops and the other stops the nose ; ot a successful lover and his riva , that one kisses his miss and the other misses hm kiss ; of an unsuccessful swain and a father of a lamily, that one is a sighing lover and the ether a loving sirs i on a mischievous mouse and beautiful youn; lady, that one harms the dice e and alio charms the he's; of seventeen and seventy, thai one is oare less and happy nnd tho other hairless and cappy ; of the effect of catching col and one of the isles of Greece, that in one oaso it is you cough an l in tho other Corfu ; of an emperor aud a beg gar, that ono issues manifestoes and tho other manifests loes without his ehoes oi n man ooiuir uceis aim a mail no"- ging him, that ono cooks tho beets and the other boats tho cook : of a tailor and a siege gun, that one works tho breeches and the ot her breaches tho work j of the Prince of Wales and a bombshell, that ouo is heir to tho throne and the oilier thrown to the air; of 'Old Unole Ned' and Louis Napoleon in the event ot another French revolution, that the one had no hair on the top of his crown, the place where the hair ought to grow, and the-othcr would h ive no ci own ou the p of his heir, the place where the orown ought to g i. It is also mention ed that the difference between a baby and a great coat is, mat Hie one you was and that the other tho wear; that per severance is a strong will and obstinacy a strong won t ; tnat JNoalrs ark was a high ark, but that an arohbishop is a hioi arch ; of a gauze dress and a drawn tooth, that one is too thin and the other is tooth out ; that the Prince ot Wales is an heir apparent, an orphan has ne'er a parent, a bald bead has ne'er a hair apparent aud a gorrilla has a hairy parent. As a relief from the ingenuity of the specimens which I have given, it is well to introduce occasionally a question which ought to be obvious to every ono, i. .. , ... ... 1.- - : i. , but is not. For instance what makes more noise than a pig under a gate t two pigs : why does a traveler who has been on a long journey, and comes to a board fence in the midst ot a forest, try to get over U t because he wants to get over ; what is the best thing to do in a hurry t nothing ; why does a miller wear a white hat t to keep his bead warm i Lord Dundreary gives one of this kind which, though obvious, is notwithstan ding exceeding logical : Why cloeth a dog waggle hith tail t Give it up t I think moth fellath will give that upt You the the dog wag geih hith tail becauth thedog'th tbtwou gcr than the tail. It ho watbn't, the tail would waggle the dog,' It is so easy to make conumdrums thnt most intelligent men will prefor to pul their faculties to some harder and usefu, task. A dancer once said to a Spartan, 'I can stand on on leg longer than you.' 'Perhaps so said the Spartan, 'and so can my goose.' A few conumdrums are very well aftor dinner with raisons and nuts, and I have no doubt my friends the editor, will bo willing to furnish them at reasonable rates iu lots to suit purchasers. A Soldikk's Jokb The correspon dent ot a Virginia paper gives the fol- owmg story i A command of cavalry, which was afterward distinguished for its gallantry, was. on its first organization, a laughing stock not merely to Forrest's veterans. but to the Yankee themselves. One day, on a train in Mississippi, the rear car was occupied by soldiers cracking their rough jokes upon one another. When the fun was at its height, a very ungainly 'reb,' with clanking spurs, un oomhed hair aud a general appearance ot long disuse of a 'biled' shirt, stalked to a window and thrust his carbine out of it- Then he stopped, and looking around, as though apprehonsivo that bo was doing something wrong, and inquir ed, 'Is thar any ot K.'s ruon aboard this sheebang t' No answer. 'I say, boys, does any of you belong to R.'s cavalry V At length soma one spoke up, saj ing s 'I belong to R.'s cavalry 'Axing yer pardon, stran ger,' said the uneouih individual, 'my old gun is dirty, and I wanted to olean her out i I'm jist gwine to pop a cap. Don't be skeared, honey 1' We should not be surprised if that joke told in the next fight attended by the command. AN EDITOR'S LlTB. An editor's work ii never done. . He is called upon to furnish others not only with ideas but brains ai well. He ha evory one to please, and straggle hard to acoompliih this end. Yet the diffl oulties are so great he rarely succeeds' The editor of the Ohio State Journal it thoroughly sound on this point, and discussing it says with truth t Some body will always be found to find fault with him, either for what be publishes or else for what he leaves out. It it a singular taotthat the articles a writer considers his best are frequently passed over by the reader without notioe, while anothor whioh costs tittle and is consid ered ot little oonaequonoo, is extensively reprinted. The editor must never foU low his own taste t if he does, he pleases himself alone. He may feel an intense disgust for horrible accidents ; a large share ot his readers crave them as a person with disordered stomaoh doei unwholesome food, lie may be nauseate ed by marvellous stories many of bit readers w'dl leave his protoundest dis oussions of political prhioiplei (or wanl of principle) unread, for a story ot some monstrosity. The politician wonders why he has no exhaustiye loader on tho taxation of townptttnps i if he has a stunning article on that subject eyery body else wonders why so uniointeres ting a matter was allowed to occupy so much valuable space. Young gentlemen just boginning to discover the shadow of a coming event ou the upper lip, think it a 'doosid boah' that there is not more nice poetry; ladies would like to see something about the newesf and sweetest thing in bonnets j old Centperoent wants to know the state of the markets, as also does our friend Dandio Dinmont, who lias cattle tor sale. The Hev. Mr. Sleek thinks we aro ruiuiuaj the morals of the rising generation by publishing aooounU of horse races, base-balls, and other wickedness; old Miss Prim wants to hear some lovely scandal, elopement or suioide ; Farmer Broadaorea want to know the best breed of sheep ; and the farmor's wife and pretty daughters want to read a nice story. All these different tastes and a thousand others have to be gratified. Everybody may get the par. tionlar thing he wants, yet ha is dissatit fled and distressed, beoause there ii something in the paper he don't wan't never dreaming that the something it the very thing another will read with delight. GIVE HIM THE MITTEN. ' 'Ah, mon dreu 1' said Monsieur MtU mots to hit friend Sniffling, 'my tweet, heart give me the mitten 'Indeed how did that happen t' 'Veil, I toaght I must bo to make ' her von leelle vuiset before I leave town. so I step in da tide room, and dare I behold her beautiful person ttretohed out on von lazy.' A lounge you mean.' 'Ay yes von lounge. And den t make von very polite branoh and 'You mean a polite bow.' Ay, jes von bough. . And den f say I was very sure the would be rotten, if I did not come to tee her before I ' xou said wbatt i 'I laid she would be rotten if' ; That's enough. Yon have put' yoor toot in it, sure.' No, tare. I put my foot out of il. for she says the would oall der taore bit- brother and kick me out, be gar I I had intended to say mortified, but I could not think ot de tame as von in ray die. tionatre. Onb cold night rcoently a married man, who lives not ten miles from this plaoe, wat disrobing, preparatory to re tiring for the night, while removing tho garments usually upheld by suspenders, his toot slipped aud be fell baok ward, seating biuisolt squarely upon the - hot shovel. He was not slow iu rising, and kuowing that his wife, whe wat asleep in the adjoiuiag room, would know aome remady for burns, he called to her, 'Wile I wifo 1 I have burned me I' Hii wife, partially awakened, not knowing the extent of his injury replied, 'Spit on it 1 Why don't you spit on it t' The response to the question was more em. phatie than polite. ... Tub Comino Wheat Ci,op..Tb te counta from almost evey section of Maryland, Virginia and North Carnltn. ipeak of the prospect of a large crop ef wheat. A Louisville paper tay soi ouly in Ohio and Keutuoky, but in Tan. nevsoe also, the wheat orop it more ai. tensive than it usually tetn, and pccHt ea an abundant yield. 1 I V .... 77 S. VfltV. Ittv'V;-,,, y, '.V'v' 3 V. ; '