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W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XIII. Spain puts out 3,000,000,000 corkl per year. Berlin has no slums. Even in tha poorest quarters the streets are paved with asphalt, and are kept faultlessly clean. Tho holding of Pure Food Exhibi tions in all our large cities is doing a great work in calling attention to the immense benefit to mankind conferred by tho plucky, sagacious men who have first produced a pure article, and second, made all tho world want to buy it. Evidence is accumulating, states the New York Mail and Express, that Marshal Ney was not shot, as the Bourbons ordered, but that ho was really the American schoolmaster who dwelt in the Carolines after tho fall of Napoleon. His alleged preservation is attributed to tho connivance of Wel lington. A wide-awake member of the South Australian Legislature has made a profit of 875,000 on a shipment ot onions to the mines in Western Aus tralia. Ho probably had had soino experience of the wsnts of people on freshly opened gold fields. His ex ample has been followed by a number of other enterprising traders, and ac cording to lato advices there is quito a smell of onions about tho famous Coolgardie fields. By tho time Alaska is ready for sot tlement its resources will probably bo much improved, which is far better than to have a great wavo of immi gration to destroy them. The Siber ian reindeer taken to Alaska are in creasing rapidly, and this domesticated animal will be an invaluable help to settlers. If tho waste of fish and game along the coast could be stopped, the Chicago Herald believes, the big Ter ritory would be in excellent shape. Tho famous Berlin professor, Vir ehow, is a most outspoken opponent of the Darwinian theory as applied on tho Continent to tho descent of man from a lower order of creatures. At the International Anthropological Congress at Innsbruck, of whioh asso ciation ho is tho veteran President, the New York Observer states that ho again poured out his vials of wrath and scorn on tho advocates of this theory. He claims that Darwin him self originally abstained from apply ing his theory to tho descent of mon, and that only later the apo theory was adopted. "Men might as well have invented a theory of tho descent of man from a sheep," continued Vir chow. He regards the problem in volved as ono that can never bo scien tifically solved. Tho Board of Supervisors of the Boston Public Schools has reported in favor of vertical, instead of slant, handwriting. The report states that the adoption of vertical handwriting in a number of European schools has proved to be a remedy for various physical defects, and that it has tho indorsement of a number of interna tional hygienic congresses. The Board therefore makes these recom mendations: "That vertical penman ship be introduced at once into a cer tain number of schools designated for that purpose, and that it be permit ted in all of the schools. That all pu pils, in writing, face tho desk so that a line joining the shoulders shall be parallel with the front edge of tho desk. That all paper U6ed in teaching writing be ruled with a single lino, as for ordinary correspondence." A Vienna scoundrel named Shapira has been working a green goods swin dle on the greedy and credulous of that city with great success. He has improved on the American game very decidedly. His schemo is to sell only gennine notes. Of course the buyers had no trouble in working them off, and soon his wares came into great demand, and he received orders by I the soore. All meetings for the delivery of the goods were arranged to take place at solitary spots on the frontiers. When the orders were for email amounts, Shapira allowed them togo, as baits for moro business, but when the sale was large, the transfer wonld no sooner be consummated than polioemen would appear and arrest the parties, confiscating all the money, The swindlers wonld bo held, but the swindled would be allowed togo, a 9 having suffered enough by losing their money. The polioe, who were confederates of the swindlers, would then return the money to the office of the firm. Some of the dupes caught onto the scheme, but they were afraid to complain, as they wero criminally connected with the transaction. When rumors of his crooked work reached the ears of the authorities, Shapira absconded. Ho was arrested recently is Rotterdam. WHICH P Which are the bands we love the best, Those that are folded between our own, Or those that move us to strange unrest By feathery touch that flown? Which, ab, which, do we love the best, Hands caressing or hands caressed? Which are the eyes we most adore, Those reflecting our every thought, Or those whose glances our hearts Implore, Whose Are will neither be tamed nor taught? Which, ah, which, do we love the best, Eyes adoring or eyes adored? Which Is tho heart of hearts we prise. That which sways with a passionate power, Or that which yields us a sacrifice, Gentle and generous, day and hour? Which, of all, do we hold above, Hoarts most loving or hearts we love? —The Century. AN OLD MAN'S DARLING. EATE SOMERS, my old school mate and dear friend for years after we entered upjn our lives as ////,I matrons, invited mo to B P en< l the .s XyjHL ,/jT summer with her at Stßr Point » a <m\ little sea-coast ,m\ \||m village, named IllfSil 1 * rom a P eculiar '/J''™ il M'MJSg' c °nformation of It K \ Tm/f'' i ft Sß e<l rocky r\ /w ' P III"V points which ilLi stretched into the ocean in the shape of a mammoth star. Kate had lost her husband and only child of contagious fever during the winter, and I was alone during the absence of my liege lord upon a business trip to Germany; so we were desirous of avoiding the crowds at gay watering places, and spending a summer in seclusion and comfort. Star Point, Kate wrote me in June, after she had been there three weeks, was almost a solitude, where wo could sew, read, write and chat without fnor of intrusive visitors, aud whero sea Ar could bo enjoyed without the necessity of ton or a dozen changes of dress in one day. So one July morning found us sauntering along the little strip of beach between two high rocks, talking quietly. As we stood looking out upon, tho water, calm aud sunny, rolling in with curling waves, there passed us.' the prettiest trio I have ever seen. The central figure was an immense dog, black and shining, with long curling hair. Upon each side of him was a golden-haired boy, of three years old, dressed only in a close-fit ting suit of scarlet flannel, which left the round white arms and legs bare. The little chubby feet pattered by tho side of tho great dog, the little hands holding fast to his shaggy black sides, till with a merry shout the boys plunged into tho water, and swam out from shore. They were buoyant as little ducks, sporting in tho waves, and evidently at home there, but the great dog watohed them constantly, ready to catch either, if the curling golden hair should sink for a moment. "Did you ever see anything so pretty?" I cried. "I knew you would say so," Kato answered. "I have seen them every morning. They live in the cottage you see beyond that great rook, with a young mother as pretty as themselves, and an old man, who I presume is their grandfather." But the occnpants of the cottago were nearer than Kate supposed, for as she ceased speaking, a suppressed chuckle behind us made us both look round with a start, to faoe the pretty young mother and the venerable old man, who said respeotfully : "Beg pardon, ladies, for laughing, bnt," and a broad grin spread over his whole faoe, "those are my boys. This is my wife, Margie." Margie blushed and droppod a> cour tesy. ' 'John is so proud of the boys," she said, as if apologizing for her hus band's tone. "Well he may be," I said; "they are beautiful children. Are you not afraid when they are in the water?", "Oh, no; Bover goes with thom al ways, and they were taught to swim as soon as to walk." "The ladies are wondering, Margie, how you are my wife, and not my daughter," said the old man. "You can tell them while I go down to the nets. I'll bring the lads in, if the ladies will rest after their walk." Margie half bashfully led the way to the and gave us each a seat in the neat Bitting-room. When we were near the house we saw that it was a pleasant sized dwelling, made by throwing two little cottages into one, and the furniture and appointments proved that the ocoupants were in easy circumstances. With true coun try hospitality, Margio offered us fruit, cake and milk, and Kate, while eating, delicately led the conversation back to the point where John had left it. "Well," said Margie, blushing prettily, "John seems always to think that it looks odd for me to be his wife, when 1 am but twenty-four and he has turned seventy; but nobody that knows him can wonder at it. Yon see, my father lived in the half of this cot tage, when it was two houses, and John Martin, that is my husband, lived in the other half. I was bnt a bit of a girl when my mother died, and I used togo with father and Uncle John, as I called him then, everywhere. They were both fisher men, as all the men are around here, and both made enough money to live on in comfort. But twioe a week we took fish to market at M—, whoro the train stops, four miles inland." Kato nodded to signify that she knew the locality mentioned, from which point we had been driven in a sab hired at tho town, to Star Point. "You may have notioed," said Mar gie, "a large brick house oa the right LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 1895. ot the road, just after 70a leave the town?" We had both notioed it. "Here father and Unole John al ways stopped to leavo freeh fish as we went to town, and I was very often in vited to stay all day to play with the children, Anna and Frederick Hall. I must tell yon here, that my mother was not from this part of the country, bnt had lived in Philadelphia, and had come to Star Point for her health the summer she met my father and married him. She had a sister living in Philadelphia, and when I was ten years old, my aunt wrote to father to send me to her for a few years, that I might have an education. When Mr. Hall heard of this, he made arrangements to send Anna also, and for six years we wero at boarding sohool in the city, my home being at my aunt's during the holidays. She was very kind to me, and I was very happy, bnt I was very glad to come homo again to father, Uncle John and the soa. I can never tell you how I fretted for the sea. But in the six years that I had been away, father had grown very feeble, depending more and more upon Uncle John, and grow ing weaker every year. "So it was that I began to carry the fish to M—, and wo started a little cart and pony for the journey to and fro. I was young, and when Fred Hall, who was only five years older, began to smile at me, and find excuses for lingering at the cart, began to to the cottage for partic ular fish on days that wero not market days, nobody found fault. 1 was but a poor fisherman's daughter, it is true, and his father was a wealthy manu facturer at M—, but we were all equals in position, for this is a primi tive place, aud I never knew auything about high aud low, or money making one better than another, excepting while I was in Philadelphia. "But though Fred Hail was young and had been to though he wore handsome clothes and had money, I never cured for his fair whiskers and bright face as I did for Uncle John's white hairs and gentle voice. I never thought of love. I only knew that I was happy with Undo John, and mis erable away from home. I was seven teen when, ono morning, I went with Undo John to fish from a rock we call the Camel's Baok hereabouts. There were but few who fished there, for it is a dangerous poiut, though the fish are plenty in the hollow beneath it. Yon see, it was a high arching rook, and hung over the water, which was very deep directly under it. To pull up a net or a line, ono must almost hang over tho edge of the rock, and below the waters suck tho fish down, so that it requires a strong arm to pull them in. "Uncle John and I, however, often fished there, though ho nover allowed me to pull tho fish in. But upon this particular day Fred Hall joined us as we were going across tho sands, and Uncle John kept a little aloof. Ho thought wo were lovers, and never kept very near mo when he fancied Fred was courting. And I did not un derstand thon why this vexed mo. On this day it nettled me more than ever, and when I felt a strong pull at my line, instead of calling Undo John to help me, I leaned over tho edge of the rock and trie 1 to land my own fish. For a moment I sucoeodcd in holding tho line, then there was a sudden strong jerk, and losing my bal ance, I went over the Camel's Back into the water. I could swim, but in falling I struck my head against a point of tho rock, and lost my con sciousness. "Fred stood still and screamed, but dear Undo John, never thinking of his own danger, ran round tho rock, and, at tho base, plunged into the deep water after me. I cannot tell how we escaped, but I was dragged ashore by Uncle John, and Fred had sense enough to run to the house for the pony and cart. It was many days beforo 1 could go for fish again, bat in those days I knew that I loved John Martin, that for his sake I could leavo all tho world, if it would make him happy. But I knew, too, that he looked upon me as a mere ohild, his old companion's daughter, and I blushed at my own presumption in thinking he would ever love mer. "I dul not know then that John Martin had once been a gentleman of wealth and standing, had traveled in Enrope, had studied in foreign col leges; but I did know that he was un like any of the other fishermen at Star Point, even my own father. He first taught me to speak correctly, avoiding all the provincialisms of the people around ns, and he would tell me of sights abroad, that I supposed he had read of, instead of having seen them. Once he told me that a false love, a false friend and sndden loss of worldly wealth had first driven him to Star Point, but that he had found rest and peace here, and hoped to die here. I never asked him any more. "I was getting well of my injuries, when my father was taken suddenly very ill, and for two years I nursed him, through a gradual decline of his whole system, till he died. When he died there oame a desolation into my life beyond even my orphanhood. "I must leave Star Point. My aunt wrote me to come to her, promising me a loving welcome and a home. Fred Hall, in the faoe of the approach ing separation, asked me to be his wife, bnt John said nothing. Day af ter day I lingered, keeping with mo the woman who had attended to our house after my father's illness required all my time. Day after day I saw John, with his pale, sad faoe, bis tender, subdued manner, and he never spoke the words to keep me beside him. "With a breaking heart I felt that I must go. The stifling oity, the rou tine of fashionable life at my aunt's, the exile irom home and the ooeao, all pressed upon me, and Fred arged his suit whenever he oonld. "Weary and heart-sick, I weal one day to the Camel's Baok to bid fare well to the sea, for I had resolved to go away the next day. I was standing on the edge of the rook, when, looking down, I saw John Mar tin. at the base, sitting upon a rook, his head bowed upon his hands, his whole frame con vulsed with deep sobs. "I knew then he loved me. I can not tell how I knew it, but I was sure then, as I am now, that he was weep ing for me. It took me but a moment to skirt round the rock and stand be side John. I never thought atoat be ing unmaidenly or bold. I never re membered that he had not spoken one word of love to me. I only knew that the coming separation was breaking his heart as well as mine. I knelt down beside him, and put my arms about his neck. " 'Oh, John,' I said, 'don't let me go ! Keep me witjh yon.' " 'Margie, little Margie,' he said, 1 would gladly keep yon, if I could.' "Ihen he looked in my faoe, and said: '"No, no. I am an 1 old fool, dream ing, mad 1 The childloannot love me.' "But Ido love you," I said, ding ing closer to him, "and you love me. And now nobody can take me away." "But, Margie," hetsaid, very grave ly, "there is but one way you can stay. You must be my wife, or I can not keep you here." "I know it, John," I said. "Your wife! To cook for you, sew for you, love you!" "But Fred Hall?" "Fred Hall!" I said, contemptuous ly. "He is nothing to me, John. You are all the world." "Your aunt?" "She oan adopt somebody else." "You see," said Margie, laughing and blushing, "I was doing all the courting, but there was a look in John's eyes that told me he was plead ing against his own heart, and that he loved mo even when, for my sake, he thought it right to send mo away. "He insisted upon my going to Philadelphia for a year, to test own heart, and then, when I homesick and wretched, ho oame to me. "Ho knew then I loved him for all my life, and he loved me, dearer even than he had loved the woman who was false to him in his youth. So we were married, and camo to Star Point, to the home where I was born, and whero I hope to die." Here the sound of laughing voioes reached us, and looking out, wo saw the golden-haired twins, all glowing and driping, coming over the sands, ono astride of tho blac': dog's baok, the other upon his shoulders. The old man was-prancing liko a horse, the dog barking and trotting besido him, and tho twin boys shouting end laughing till tho air rang with their merriment. Wo rose togo, thanking Margie for her story, and firmly convinced that there was one woman in the world who, for true love's sake alone, is an old man's darling.—New York News.' Four Feet ot Snow in Eight Honrs. "I have seen four feet of snow fall in eight hours," said Conductor Cobb, of tho Maine Central, Thursday, "and yet it was so light that you could wade through it just as you can through water. "It was in the Sierra Nevada Moun tains—a sort of frost-liko snow that falls in the night, burying everything. Twelve feet away from another man you can just see him, with a sort of halo a wound him as though somewhere the sun was shining through the storm. In these storms it is impossible to tell directionior distance. One is simply lost when only a short distance from camp. "In the morning we walked down into town. One man went ahead breaking the snow, which came nearly to his armpits, as he moved through it. He would tread until tired, when he wonld drop to the rear and some one else would lead the prooession. As we walked into the valley it grew less, and down below in the town there had been no snow and.all the time the sun or tho stars had shone. Snob a snow goes like the dew—disappears, evaporates."—Lewiston (Me.) Journal. A Remarkable Family. On a pretty little farm high np among the hills of Calhoun County, Alabama, 1000 feet above the sea, lives a most remarkable family. Their name is Sadler. The family consists of a brother and four sisters, and the youngest has already turned her ninety-first year. The oldest is several years more than a century old. None of them has ever married. The Sadlers were born in the Old Dominion State. In 1831 the family moved to Alabama and Calhoun County, about fifteen miles east of Annison. Two years later they beoame possessed of the property on whioh they now live, and there erected a log house, whioh domi cile they have since inhabited con- % stantly. Years ago ths father and mother died, the former at the age of ninety-one, the latter at the age of seventy-five.—Chattanooga (Tenn.) Times. Coin Dies Destroyed. Sledge-hammer blows, delivered by powerful employes of the Mint, on Wednesday destroyed the dies in use during the last year. There were 512 in all, and of these 71 were for double eagles, 97 for eagles, 32 for half eagles, 4 for quarter eagles, 12 for dollar pieoes, 21 for half-dollar pieces, 50 for quarter-dollar pieoes, 36 for ten cent pieoes, 80 for five-cent pieoes, and 108 for one-oent pieoes. The dies are steel, and to destroy them it bet comes necessary to heat them almost to whiteness. Then they were taken from the fire and placed upon an an vil and two blaoksmiths with sledges struck them upon the faoe. —Philadel phia Times. LET LABOR LISTEN. —*E ANNUAL ADDRESS OF THE AMERICAN PROTECTIVE TARIFF LEAGUE. There Has Been No Faltering: In the Battle Waged for the Industrial Welfare of Our People—The Rev olution Against the Wilson-Gor man Monstrosity Proved That tho Voters Favored Protection and American Markets for American Products. The annual address of the American Protective Tariff League, prepared by Hon. Joseph E. Throop, of Pennsyl vania, at the request of the Board of Managers, is as follows: To the American Voter: Since our last annual meeting much has ocourred to justify the organization and continned work of tho League. The protracted discussion of the tariff by the enemies of the protective system, who had been intrusted by the vote of '92 with the entire control of the Government, and the wide spread suffering which resulted through their vicious distortion of facts, had a tendency to cause the more timid protectionists to become discouraged, and they soemed willing to compromise on almost any terms. Somo Senators bccuino so alarmed, as the condition of the country continued to grow worse under the strain, that they feared to resort to extreme meas ures to prevent the passage of a tariff reduction law, lest their constituents, in their anxiety for "peace at any price," might not sustain them. We felt this depression, fear and uncertainty, but knew that the battle was for tho industrial wolfaro of our people and tho country, and wo strongly urged Senators to resist tho tariff reduction to tho uttermost, be lieving that a fow weeks of uncer tainty were far preferable to several years under a bad law. All did not resist as wo had urged, and tho rosuit is tho burden of a mongrel tariff law. This law affords inadequate protection to our workingmen and industries, fails to renew prosperons timer and does not afford eDough revenue to meet tho expenses of tho Govern ment. The League bod to contend against the discouragements referred to, but its officers felt that the cause which wo advocated was the people's cause and that the appeal should be made to the people's representatives. Efforts to gain needed support were system atically pushed; means of reaoliing the people country were largely increased; facts showing tho results of tariff tinkering were carefully gathered and widely circulated; wholesome truths were constantly presented to the thoughtful voter to show him tlio dangers which confronted him. The wisdom of this course has been fully vindicated. Tho revolution which took place in the public mind, as shown in November last, has never been equaled in our political history. Catch words or phrases no longer blind the people. Such slogans as "Tho Tariff is a Tax, '* "Robber Barons," "Taxing the Many to Enrich tho Few," etc., no longer have effect. The newly invented pnrase, "Tariff agitation must bo suppressed because it injures business," is a purposely misleading snaro of the enemy. The people know that all American intei ests grew and wero made stronger during tho discussion of the law of 1890, moro and moro as il was made manifest that safe protection of otu industrics would prevail, and not n single American interest was injured; on the other hand, after tho election of 1892, as it becamo more and moro certain that protection would be weak ened, industry after industry felt the blighting effects of threatened free trade, which culminated in the pas sago of tho Wilson-Gorman mon strosity. The people are in favor of protec tion. They are determined to have the Anurican markets for American products. If those who should be their leaders and champions lack cour age, the American voters do not. Now that a calm review of the situa tion can be taken, it seems proper to express clearly the views and policy of the supporters of the League. We believe that our country has varieties of soil and climate enough to produce nearly if not all that we, as a people, need, and that hidden beneath the surface are mineral resources sufficient to add to our comfort and wealth. We believe in developing these under an American policy and an American sys tem of wages. Wo believe in con sidering first our own markets, the best in the world, and protecting them ; then we favor trading with for eign Nations whero the result is trade and not simply purchase—in other words reciprocal trade. We know that if we produce what we need aud sell it within ourselves, we, as a Na tion, have both the prouuets and the money—the wealth—wh le if we per mit other Nations to produoe and sell to us, we may have their products,ba*; they will have our money. Protection laws are not sectional unt apply in their benefits to aU por tions of our land. The people by their votes have indorsed this lav/. s\>r the first time in many years the "Solid South" has been broken and protec tionist Senators hava been elected lrom tho South to help restore the United States Senate to tho friends of protection. The people have learned hat no wall divides the North from the South, the East from the Wes\ The tariff laws which have encouraged industries in the North are necessary, and they are equally applicable to in dustries south of the Potomao and Ohio, and west of the Mississippi. They have learned that protection law*, while tending to build np indus tries, do not work to their injury by Terms'— SI.OO in Advance ; 81.25 after Three Month*, raising prices to an undue level. Neither do they foster "trusts." But, on the contrary, by promoting the es tablishment of industries they thereby inerease competition and the result is our industrial independence as a Nation with safety to the consumer. The advocacy and discussion of a lower tariff have invariably brought ruin and destruction but, on the con trary, the advocacy and discussion of protection have brought success and stability to every American interest. We do not believe in a tariff for revenue with incidental protection, bnt we do bolieve in a tariff for ade quate protection. Wo know that the wisdom of the friends of protection •will, in the future as in the past, be oapable of devising means to supply all the revenue that is needod to main tain the public credit. We have full faith in the patriotism and wisdom of the people. Wo will push forward the work of the League in all sections of our land, feeling that, in the end, the policy of protec tion will be restored in full effect and that some of tho immense losses that we have suffered will be regained. The Fnneral in August. The Funeral in November. Who Can Buy Their Uoods! There are now. and wo are thank ful to know it, very many importers and importers' agents who believe in protection. Heretofore they had been of the opinion that freo trade in this country wouid make it an absoluto paradise. They forgot that with our factories closed, our people idlo or earning less money, thero must nat urally be less money to spend. But they know it now. We believe that we are oorrect in stating that there is not one importer in Now York City whose sales during 1893 and 1894 were within twenty-five per cent, of his sales in 1892. Even now, with "tariff reform" an established faet, their busi ness is not so brisk as it used to be. The reason is obvious, even thoso who make it a point to buy nothing but foreign goods are moro careful about their expenditures, and every day tho importers are becoming moro thor oughly convinced that their business was more prosperous under protection than it is under the first step toward free trade. Protection is gaining friends and free trade is losing thecr izers. A Little Sugar in It. Tho Legislature ot North Carolina, which has beeu under free trade con trol for the past twenty years, and which was at the last election wrested from that party, has been organized by Republican protectionists. Wa are glad to see that tho new control is going about its business with an admirablo directnoss. As it is now the free traders loso both United States Senators. Senator Ransom loses his seat, but under the new ro gime his mica industry is safe. Dis appointments are not always all sting. l.o'i It Woihs Round. Are cheap things good for anybody't Yes, apparently, fcr the ma™ who wants to buy, but eeitainjy not for the man who wants to sell, nor yet for tne man whose labo.* is a facto.- in producing the thing sold. Bm?e everything is produced by Jabc.-, r.n cheapening system can benefit it,and incidentally, labor being a consumer, all of those activities with which it has business relations suffer together under tho reigu of cheapness. Cheapness Everywhere, Eagerness of the merchant to sell at educed prices is indieated in almost every advertisement we read and the cards of invitation hanging upon good« in every shop window indicate any thing but prosperity. Change in tbj conditions cf production means change in almost every department of legiti mate business; hence the present de pressing influences flowing from the Gorman tariff into all the industries in the land. Just About Right. Governor McKinley vciced the feel ing of great multitudes of voters when .ie said: * "The people ave tired of this lariff tingering, bond-issuing, debt-increas iog, Tieasury-depleting, business paralyzing, wage-reducing, Q ieen re storing Administration. NO. 21. ANOTHER SPRING^ If I might see another spring I'd not plant summer flowers and walk I'd have my crocuses at once, My leafless pink mezerons, My chlll-velned snowdrops, choloer yet, My white or nzure violet, Leaf-nested primrose; anything To blow at once, not late. If I might see another spring I'd listen to the daylight birds That build their nests and pair and sing, Nor wait tor mateless nightingale; I'd listen to the lusty herds, The ewes with lambs as white as snow, I'd And out music in the hall And all the winds that blow. If I might see another spring— Oh, stinging comment on my past That all my past results in "if— If I might see another spring I'd laugh to-day—to-3ny is brief; I would not wait for anything j I'd use to-day that cannot last— Be glad to-day and sing. Christina F.ossetlL. fIUMOK OF THE DAY. Gossip puts two and two together and makes whatever sum it desires. Cobblers report that business with them is mending.—Hartford Journal. A man's second love is generally worth more money than his first*— Puck. In striving to get ahead of others look to it that you do not fall over yourself. —Puck. When Cupid breaks the ioe between two people, he never puts up the dan ger signal.—Puck. Nobody can help noticing the short comings of the man who is always be hind time.—Pallas News. The man who "has his price" will be very oareful about showing his cost mark.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. "They sell water in Cairo." "How interesting! And do they have tho milk ticket system, too?" Puck. The would-be meddler with "green goods" is reminded of his youthful ex periences with tho sour apple.—Puck. The difference between a man and a horse is that tho latter never goes on a raco track until after he's broke.— Statesman. The older a man is when he gets married the sooner he commences tak ing his lunch at noon downtown. — Atchison Qlobe. Fred—"Was that a Boston girl you were talking to a minute ago?" Ar thur—"Yes. Didn't you hear mo sneezing ?" —Life. A drop of ink may command tho at tention of hundieds. Particularly if it is on your polished shirt front.— Rockland (Mo.) Tribune. Weary Waggles —"Dere sev'ral courses Pd like te persoo." Tiredy— "Wot er dey like?" Weary Waggles —"Dinner courses."—Syracuse Post. "Does your daughter sing?" asked Mrs. Jingleßilt. "No," replied Mrs. Oldfan. "We have taken great pains in educating her not to."—Washing ton Star. Customer—"What in the world is that unearthly howling overhead?" Clerk—(smiling)—"There is a pain less dentistry establishment upstairs, sir."—Statosman. Tough—"l want a dozen eggs, on' I wants 'em bad, see?" Grocer—"Go to that grooer across the street. Everything he keeps is bad."—Phila delphia Inquirer. Editor—"ln writing up the foot ball gamo why do you say it was hotly contested?" Reporter—"l don't see how it could bo otherwise, whjn it was played on a gridiron."—Norris town Herald. "Here," said tho new missionary, "here are some tracts and sermons, translated into your native language." "Thanks," yawned tho King of Ebwpka. "By the way, have you a translation of 'Trilby ?' "—lndian apolis Journal. "This may be justice," said tho de feated defendant, "but it strikes me as beingnpretty fishy verdict." "That shows that it is justice," retorted the plaintiff. "One of the most conspicu ous featuros of justice is her scales." —Harper's Bazar. "It is wonderful what progress has been made in the way of machinery," remarked Mr. Figg. "leee that there has been a machine invented that can make a complete pair of shoes in six teen minutes. Why, that is even fast er than Tommy can wear them out." —lndianapolis Journal. A Queen's Curious Ways. Madagascar's Queen, according to all accounts, has many curious ways and traits of chnracter. She is always dressed in the latest Parisian style. Her private expenses are met by a fnnd called the "haeina,"* to whioh all who come into the presence of her Majesty are required to contiibnte a five-franc pieoe. It is tho duty of the youngest member of the royal family to present a hat, into whioh the coin is dropped. Moreover, whenever the Qaeen travels tho inhabitants of all tho towns and villages she visits are expeeted to contribute to the same fnnd either in money or kind. She is very fond of games, particularly of lotto and billiards, and she flatters herself she can fly a kite higher than anyone of her snbjects.—Chicago Herald. Wood Pulp Tubing. Tubing made from wood pnlp is coming into nse for underground purposes, owing to its high electrieal resistance and its freedom from the aotion of earth-return currents whioh seriously injure gas »;nd water pipes in cities where electric cars use the ground to complete their oironits. It ia also free from difficulties due to expansion and oontraotion.—Chicago Herald.