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BUSINESS OF THE SOAKER.
*a Expert lu PannbrukinK \Vlio lias Ilia HrKulur Customers. In the neighborhood where pawn shops abound the soaker flourishes. The soaker ac ts as middleman between the pawnbroker and bis customers. lie explains his mission ami accounts for his usefulness thus: "The people down here employ me." said he, "uot because they are asham ed to be seen going into a pawnshop themselves, but because I can get more for the ;;oods than they can. There's an art iu pawning a coat or a ring, just the same as in everything else. "I've know u people togo into a pawnshop with some old article to pawn and to look the proprietor over with a supercilious air, as if they con sidered themselves so far above him socially that lie couldn't touch them with a 4t> foot pole. Naturally, for sheer spite, the broker offers them only about half as much as they would get If they approached him properly. Hav ing had a wide experience of my own, I know how to avoid such difficulties. I am not servile, but 1 am polite and respectful, and as those two qualities touch the most generous chord in the broker's bosom I get all I want on the proffered chattels. "As recompense for my services I charge my customers 10 per cent com mission. I have regular customers, and then, of course, I do many odd jobs for occasional. There are fam ilies down here for whom I pawn the same things over and over again, one week after the other. On pay day they take their things out of soak. Three lays later they put them in again, and he next pay day they take them out again. And so it goes, month after month. I canvass the houses just like a book agent or corn plaster peddler or insurance solicitor. "'Anything to be pawned today?' I ask. "And If there Is I take it around to some shop and raise the necessary dough and take it back and get my commission. Once in awhile I come across somebody who abuses me and calls me a shark, but I'm nothing of the sort. I'm earning a decent living at a legitimate business."— *v— "* —*- A Testamentary Puzzle. An Englishman who recently died lad three children, one son and two laughters, and he mentioned all of hem in his will. The first clause is, "I leave my piano o Mary Elizabeth, when Arthur has lone with it" The other clause is, 'To Susan Jane—she may take what ver Arthur wishes to give to her." There is no doubt of Arthur's stand- , □gin the document, but the pointed uestion is raised, Are Mary Elizabeth nd Susan Jane beneficiaries under the rill? The Out Exception. Towne— He's quite a linguist, I be eve. Browne—Yes, he can converse lu 14 liferent tongues. Towne —So I understand; but there's ! ne tongue he has never succeeded iu jastering. Browne—What's that? Chinese? Towne—No, his wife's.—Philadelphia ress. I Specalatlon and Theft. Some statistician, in emulation of j .oinbroso perhaps, has been figuring ut the habitual employment of con icts. He concludes that more men ud women whose employers are the ational, state or municipal govern- j ients fall into evil ways and come to j ntoward ends than those who work i >r private Individuals or corporations. I very large proportion of the men and ' omen who have been handlers of pub- ! c moneys seem to yield to the con- i ant temptation and begin to peculate, j ad some cynic avers that peculation the corollary of speculation. As a atter of fact, most of the big and lit- j e thieves who confess how they were d to take money that did not belong » them declare that speculations of le sort or another brought them . entually behind the bars.—New York erald. Aa litTfa Contest. "They had a lively boxing match at dlnter's the other night." "How was that?" "Splinter came home late, and as he issed through the hall his wife's tall t palm touched him on the, cheek, dlnter was In au excited condition id thought It was somebody's fingers. > he struck out wildly with both fists id succeeded in knocking over two vims and severely bumping his own •ad." "But why do you call It a boxing atch?" "Because Splinter put up his knuc es against his wife's palms."—Cleve nd Plain Dealer. Why Hti Lite Wa» a Failure. 'Yes, I consider my life a failure." 'Oh, Henry, how sad! Why should u say tl at?" I spent all my time making money j /ugh to buy food and clothes, and food disagrees with me. and uiy /tbes don't fit."—l.ife. 112 Xtoaaell and IIIm Suii^m. Vhe late Henry Hussell, the veteran iglish composer of "Cheer, Boys, ;eer," and of more than S<X> other ngs which were popular In their day, j id many amusing experiences when ■ sang his ballads on various occa ins. Once, after rendering "Woodman, >are That Tree," a gentleman rose in e gallery and asked, "Was the tree a red?" On being answered in the Hrmatlve he, with a sigh of heartfelt lief, exclaimed, "Thank God for at!" After singing the song of"The Dot irlo," who jumped ofT an Atlantic I ler and saved a child's life, Itussell as gravely waited upon by a couple Yorkshire miners, who begged him ! r a pup. >ne of Russell's songs, of which the j ?rds were changed In accordance j itli the altered conditions, is our na- j >nal anthem, "Columbia, the Gem of e Ocean."—Argonaut Yoang Ladles, Please *ote. The following is a sample of the wls oi contained in the standard work on inese feminine etiquette for 1.800 trs which baa just been translated by j. S. L. Baldwin: fitting, don't shake your kneea, a eoin >n fault with men; standing, keep iet your skirts; when pleased, laugh 1 12. aloud; when angry, still make no ise. Vll ffirls should learn woman's work, •""ollow not your desires just to eat, eat. >o not imitate stupid women who gad j ut from house to house speaking idle j .ds and scandal, ise at cock crow. )ress neatly, not showily. >ee that the kitchen and cooking uten ; am clean. Vhenever the husband speaks let the .'e give careful attention, 112 the husband is angry, lot not tho e be angry also, but meekly yield to j Vash carefully and mend neatly bis iking; prepare his daily food care- j ly lest his body become* thin and his j irt sorrowful. i FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION "I am so thankful for what Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription has done for me," writes Mrs. John T. Smith, of Slocan, B. C., Box 50. "It cured me of a disease which was taking away all my strength, helped me through the long months before baby came and I have a big strong baby girl, the most healthy and happy of all my three." nAKES THE DIFFERENT ME. Through many, many summers I look, as through a glass. And see a world of showers and flowen And laughing children pass. And in her big blue sunbonnet One other little lass A lass who watched the swallows Skim just beyond her hand And where the dickers fled and sped And nests of hang birds fanned And felt those birds were fairy folk On wing to fairyland. In her warm fist she carried, Trudging o'er hills and dales, In tiny papers laid and weighed As if in fairy scales The salt that catches bobolinks When sprinkled on their tails. A little lass and wistful. Who gazed up the far sky. And reached for fairy things and wings In vain and wondered why; Poor little lass, I wonder still. Could she be really 1? —Harriet Prescott Spofford in Collier's The Mar y Flutter Home. As*d author*, artists, teachers, and other professional people are spending their declining days in comfort and hap piness under the care of Miss Mary Fisher at Nos. 144, 140, 148, 150 and 132 St. Ann's avenue, in the Bronx. The first inmate of this home for the cultured poor was an old friend, a teacher out of a position, whom Miss Fisher took into her home. Then Miss Fisher formed what was called the Home Hotel company, gave her own home to the cause and opened it to any one in need. The proceeds of the sale of her Brooklyn house she uses in keeping up the present quarters ac cording to her ideas of what a home should be. Miss Fisher lives in it and directs its management. Associated with her is Miss Emma P. Traynier, cor responding secretary of the association, which has become incorporated. The vice presidents are Mrs. Charlotte J. Bell, Mrs. A. Inez Ludlow, Mrs. Theo dora Harris. Mrs. Marie T. Lange, Mrs. PlWre M. Thomson; recording secretary. Miss J. Anna Sloat; auditor, Raymond Cote. Th« late Mrs. William C. Whit ney was a member of the board of man agers. Mr. Whitney is accounted as one of the most prominent benefactors, as are also Seth Low and Mrs. 11. O. Have meyer, who is a life member. The lato Frederick Billings was a life member, contributing SSO a year up to the time of his death. Mrs. Anson Phelps Stokes, Mrs. Frank Leslie, Mrs. Francis N. Shimmin, Mr. A. G. Mills, Mrs. Win throp, Mr. Benjamin Stern and others are life members.—New York World. A Sympathetic Memory. In a western Massachusetts town lives a young woman who Is blessed with both discrimination and tact. The first of these admirable <jnalities she has displayed by her two mar riages. Her first husband was a minis ter, a most delightful man. He died, and after a lapse of Ave or six years she was united to his only brother, who was a successful lawyer in New York. On her library desk stands a picture ®f the first partner of her joys and sor rows, and one day a curious caller ask ed whom the photograph represented. "That," said the hostess, with cvi dent emotion, "is a picture of my hus band's brother, who died eight years ago and who was very dear to us both."—Youth's Companion. Generous. "What's your fare?" asked old Flint skin of his cabby the other day and was met with the stereotyped reply: "Well, sir. I will leave that to you." "Thank you; you're very kind." said old F., buttoning up his pockets and walking < IT. "You're the first person who ever left me anything yet." —Lon don Fun. Ilia flood Wife. Gilbert—l believe in a man being the master of the house, lie should have thc» say in everything. Mason —How about the naming of that baby of yours? Gilbert—My wife gave way to me In a very proper and wifely manner. She said she didn't care what name I gave the little fellow so long as it was Hen ry. So that's the name I g;tve him. You know I felt, after the hearty man ner iu which she deferred to ine, I ought to yield a single point merely out of appreciation of her humility.— Boston Transcript. Family Pride. "I suppose you lake a great deal of pride in your business." "No," anwered Mr. Cumrox. "1 used to take pride in my business, but ma and the girls don't approve of it. The only thing we take pride iu n< w is my daughter's husband's pedigree."—Wa -h Ington Siar. A Sincere Apolotcy. At n railway refreshment room in Pres ton one of the passengers was in a hurry. "Please pass me them pertaters, mis ter," he said, addressing au elegant gen tleman who sat next to him. The latter slowly focused his gold mounted eyeglass 011 the speaker. "Hid you think I was one of the wait ers?" he asked icily. The others held their knives and forks suspended in midair, expecting to see the man shrivel up, but no such phenome non took place. He turned and beckoned to the nearest waiter. "Waiter, come here, please." "Yes, sir." "I want to apologize to you, that is all. You see, I mistook this party here for you, but 1 hope you won't be offend ed at it. Now pass me them pertaters, and we'll goon with the dinner." —Lon- don Answers. | TROUBLE IN THE OFFICE. It Won 112 anned by the Editor's Co -11 onil rum. "Why is a woman like au umbrella?" asked the exchange editor. "Because she's made of ribs and at [ tached to a stick," replied the informa tion editor. "Why is"— "Wrong. Guess again." "Because she always has to be shut up when"— "Naw! You fatigue me." "Because she stands In the hnll and"— "Naw! It's nothing about standing lu the hall." "A woman is like au umbrella be cause nobody ever gets the right one. Why is" "Itiug off! That isn't the answer ei ther." "It's a better one than you've got." "Don't you reckon I know whether it is or not? Whose conundrum is this— yours or mine?" "Well, she's like au umbrella be cause— It isn't because she fades with age, is it?" "You ought to be ashamed of your self." "I am. Is it because you have to put up when it's cloudy and threatening- No; that can't be it. Because she's a good thing to have lu the house. Why is"— "You're not within four counties of It." "Because you can't find any pocket lu either. Why is"— "No choice. Vote again." "I won't. A woman isn't like an um brella. There is uot the slightest re semblance. You goon with your work and let me alone." "I knew you couldn't guess it. It's because she's accustomed to reign." Then the information editor rose in his wrath, and they were only pre vented from doing mischief to each other by prompt and wholly unex pected—work on the part of the labor editor. —Chicago Tribune. Prepared to "Now, John," his wife said, gently pressing him back when he tried to get up, "you must stay in bed today. I've telephoned for the doctor, and he's coming right over." "All right," he submissively replied as she threw his trousers out of reach, "you'll tind my will and the Insurance policies and so forth In that little tin box In the third drawer of uiy desk."— Chicago Times-llerald. I'recept and Example. "When you tind yourself admitting a slang word or phrase into your vocabu lary, young ladies and gentlemen," earnestly exhorted the professor of rhetoric, "cut it out." Bless his old heart! He thought he was merely using a striking and ex pressive figure of speech. Chicago Tribune. Jnat I,ike n Policeman. "What's the charge?" asked the Judge. "Impersonating an officer," answered the prosecutor. "What was he doing?" "I saw him helping himself to fruit and peanuts from a street vender's stand." —Chicago Post. IndinpeiiNithle I'nder Clrcuin«taneeii. Minister (approaching baptismal fonti —The candidate for baptism will now be presented Mother of Intended Candidate (in perturbed whisper to husband)— There! I knew we had forgotten something. Archibald. Run home ijuiek and fetch the baby.—Boston Courier. An Affront to Cupid. "Daughter, what makes you look so serious?" "Well, pa, what would you think of a young man who took advantage of Lent to drop from his customary $1 box of caramels to a 5 cent bag of pea nuts?"— Detroit Free Press. Classic. He—Which do you prefer, Homer or Virgil? She—Virgil. He—Why? She —Didn't he begin the ".Enid" with something about arms and the man?— Syracuse Herald. An Artful lirKKar. Miss Believe—Beggars are all frauds. I met a blind man yesterday who said, "Please gimme a penny or two, lovely lady." Miss Behave—Yes. He said that to make you think he was really blind.— Chicago Chronicle. Populur Song. "Only a soldier in the 'ranks.' "—Chi cago News. Sot 1 npreeedented. "Hero is n story about n man who worked for 27 years without ever taking a day off." "H111! That's nothing. He was prob ably the proprietor of the establishment." —Chicago Times Herald. A Traveler's Opinion. Mrs. Quizzer (who wants to know ev erything)— Now, what do you consider to be the most curious thing you ever saw, professor? Professor Trotter—A woman, madatn. —Harlem Life. No Easy Job. "Scuse me, boss," said Iloxey ni ns he stopped Mr. Smithers, "I want to ask you a question. If 1 was to offer you 50 bucks a day to do do work I'm doin now, would you take de job?" "What are you doing now?" "Sleepln in box cars at night an mosey in aroun in de cold hittin women fer hand outs in de daytime. Would you take de job at 50 cases?" "No, indeed! Why do you ask?" "Oh. some cheap plug back dere jist ssked me why I don't work." —Indian- apolis Sun. It Saved His Leg. P. A. Danforth. of LaGrange, Ga , suffered for six months with a frightful running sure on his leg, but writes that Buckleu's Arnica Salve wholly cured it in live days. For Ulcers, Wounds, Piles, it's the best salve in the world. Cure guaranteed. Only 25c. Sold by Paules & Co. druggist. DO IT YOURSELF. You can tell just as well as a physician whether your kidneys are diseased or healthy. The way todois totakea bot tle or glass tumbler, and fill it with urine. If there is a sediment —-a powderlike substance at the bottom after standing a day and a night, there is something wrong with th»- kidneys. Another sure sign of disease is a desire to urinate often, and still another sign is pain in the back. llf urine stains linen, there is no doubt that the kidneys are atlected. Any and all diseases of the kidneys, liver, bladder and of the urinary passag es and constipation of the bowels are cur ed by Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite ! Remedy- There isnoqnestion about its j being the best and surest medicine in the world for such troubles, it quickly relieves and cures inability to hold urine j and people, young or old, who take it '[ are not compelled to net up a number of ; times during the night. For putting an ; end to that scalding pain experienced in passing urine, nothing is so good as Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Itemedy. Ii ' corrects the bad eliects of whiskev and beer; is plewkant to the taste, and does j not seam to be medicine at all. Diseas ! es of the kidneys and the bladder often l require the use of instruments to push back the sandy matter so the urine can !be voided. In such cases Favorite Rem ! edy should be taken without further de lay or the disease may prove fatal. 11 is sold for one dollar a bottle at all drug j stores. It is well worth many times its | price. I If you wish to test Dr. David Kenne dy's Favorite Remedy before buying to send your full post office address to the Dr. David Kennedy Corporation, Rond out, N. V., and mention this paper. We will then mail you a sample bottle free, as well as circulars giving full directions tor its use. Every reader of the Mox ! TOI'K AMERICAN can depend upon the genuineness of this liberal offer and all i sufferers from kidney troubles should ! take advantage once of it at JINGLES AND JESTS. Mj«terle». Th» wise man gazed out into space And said in measured tones and slow: "There are some thoughts we cannot tract} There are gome things we may not know. "We may not know what holds the lite Within the blossom bearing seed Nor why some people use the knife When they have gathered round to feed. "We may not know what sets the glow In stars that gem the midnight sky Nor what the merchant folk bestow In half the things to eat we buy. "We know not how fate will befall And bear us low or to the top Nor (deepest mystery of all) Just where the car Is going to stop." —Washington Star. Bon to Gather. Laying gathers is a time honored opera tion, as irritating and nerve wearing as It is necessary. Since learning to accom j pllsh the same result in a far easier way, j the present writer has taught the knack I to several friends, and all, without exeep i tion, are enthusiastic. Use a long, strong ' needle; that is, a coarser one than you . would ordinarily use for the work in hand. Gather the needle full, keeping the thimble finger at the eye of tho needle, so that no stitches escape onto the thread. When you can force on no more cloth, still holding the thimble in place, with the thumb and iirst finger hold the gathers firmly onto the needle at the point end. With the left thumb | and first and second fingers pull the gath ers, two or three at a time, straight down i from the needle with a swinging motion, i sliding the lingers under the material and I pulling down with the thumb, beginning nt the left and working toward the right. When the work is slipped onto the thread. It will be as flat as if each gather had been painfully "scratched" into j place. The two processes are practically I accomplished in one, and after a few j trials and with a little patience you will ' never go back to the "good old way."— Good Housekeeping. He Certainly Wa* a Fiend. The stage was rolling ulong the can yon trail when suddenly tho horses reared back on their haunches as a lone highwayman with a Winchester appeared on the scene. "Step out of the hearse, gentlemen, and hands up!" he ordered. One by one they climbed out, with elevated bands. The highwayman relieved the party and several times was forced to remind one nervous little man to keep his hand from his pocket. "What's the matter with you?" he finally roared. "You make another move like that, and I'll pump the slugs In you!" "Please let me," pleaded the little man as his hand again slid toward his pocket. "Please let you!" roared the despera do. "Please let you perforate me? You're Imposing on my generosity, son ny. Look out! Look out! Keep your mlt away from that pocket, or by the Eternal"— "But It won't hurt you!" protested the little man."lt won't hurt you at all! Stand just as you are now and keep your rifle leveled. There! That's Itl" And while the highwayman was re covering from his astonishment the lit tle man had flashed his kodak and snapped the button.—lndianapolis Sun. Once Oon, Now Britain**. Do you know, says n writer In tho New York Herald, that the British have one of our warships tied up at a dock In London flying the British flag and regularly commissioned In the British navy? What Is more, she is called the President, and on her bow Is the figurehead of John Adams carved out of a huge chunk of American wood and handsomely glided. Por a quarter of a century she has been lying at her present berth near the East India docks, most of the time stuck in the mud. There Is some doubt whether she would float, and It Is probably true that she would goto pieces if sent as far out to sea as the mouth of the Thames. She was captured by the British in the war of 1K11!. The lines of the President are still beautiful. She must have been a very handsome ship under sail. Although one of the largest ships in the world at the time of her launch, she would be a mere pygmy beside one of the great warships of the present day. Yet she Is more picturesque even In her present dismantled condition than the Brook lyn, Oregon or Kearsarge. The President is now used as a drill ship for the Itoyal Naval reserves, hav ing been fitted up for this purpose in IStil at Chatham. Until 187(5 she lay at the City canal, river Thames, and was then moved to her present berth. ItlcHinriiiK Your Man. Put this In your pipe and smoke It: | There Is always Bome chap smarter than the chap you think Is the smartest on earth—meaning yourself. You are a wonderful Judge of human nature, but don't measure your man too confi dently, for 'J'J times In 100 you'll find j the suit doesn't lit Never play favor | ltes. The lightweight today, In your ; measurement, will be the heavyweight I tomorrow. Old friends, like old wine, j will In the end prove best. Never go back on an old friend unless you liavo plenty of money well Invested. Pos sessed of a big bank account and flushed with success—the mischief take friends, old and new!— New '2ork j Press. CHILhUE.YS COLI'IIN. Karninj£ HIM Living. Hattie Plough, who is only 9 years of age, sent the accompanying picture and a little letter to the Brooklyn Eagle. In her letter she said: "These are my two cousins and their pet dog. They are fixing him to the lawn r , | j||p -: -' - THE STOP FOR OIL. mower so he can mow the lawn. He is a very nice dog. He does not bite at all. When Igo up th-■ i• . 1 play with him. lb is very fond of children." Fntlier anil Son. Some soldiers came into a village dur ing a time of war and asked for a guide. A poor day laborer was ready togo with them. It was very cold and snowed and blew in a fearful manner. He begged the villagers to lend him a cloak, but they paid no attention to him. Only one old man, a foreigner, who had been driven out of his own country by the war and supported himself in the vil lage as a smith's journeyman, had com passion on the day laborer and gave him his own old cloak. The soldiers marched on, and 10, late in the evening there came riding into the village a young and handsome officer in a splendid uniform, with a cross of honor on his breast. He asked for the old man who had lent his coat to the guide. The kind hearted old man as soon as he saw the officer cried out, "It is my own son Rudolph!" and he fold ed him to his arms. Now, Budolph had been enlisted as a soldier many years before and had been promoted to be an officer on account of his good conduct and his valor. He had heard nothing more of his father, wiio was formerly a master smith in a market town. But the son knew the old cloak and felt sure by the account of the guide that his father was at this time living in that village. Father and son wept for joy, and all the people who stood near wept with them. Budolph remained with bis fathci all the night. He gave him before he rode away a supply of money and prom ised to take further care of him. But the people said, "As the old man had compassion on others so God lias had compassion on him and has let his son fiud him again, who has delivered him from all his necessity."—From the Ger man of C. von Sehmid. He Meant Business. A Davenport boy went to New York, says Success to solicit a position to travel for a wholesale house. He went five times to one establishment and every time was told that they did not want to engage him. Ho tried to prevail on them to allow him to make a trial trip, but to no avail. Finally he proposed to buy a small stock of goods. This was business, and they were ready to sell. He then went on the road on his own account and made money, so that when the firm saw he meant business they were ready to employ him, and he is now wealthy, being a member of the firm. Not a boy iii a hundred would have had his persistence after refusal. There is nothing like courage or faith as an aid to success. Another member of that firm had only 14 cents when he reached New York to seek his fortune. Can Yon Explain It 112 A curious optical illusion is to be seen in the accompanying ligure from La Na ture. At the places where the white strips v pa:; ' ■ : the black squares cross 6KK TOE SPOTS! each other a hazy penumbra may be seen. If, however, attention is concen trated upon one of the spots it disap pears, though the others remain visible. to S«*e Her Minister. A little girl, the daughter of a clergy man, was ailing and had been put to bed early. ''Mamma," said she, "I want to see my papa." "No, dear," said her mother; "papa is not to be disturbed just now." Presently came the pleading voice, "1 want to see my papa." "No," was the answer; "I cannot dis turb him." Then the little parishioner rose to a question of privilege. "Mamma," said she, "I am a sick worn an, and I want to see my minister!" —Ex- change. Tl«e Driver. The driver whistled as lie awoke. And lie drove the dn-t like a cloud of uriok*. lie drove tlie clouds like a Hock of sheep; lie drove the leaves in a hurrying heap; lie whipped the hats from the passorsby And tossed them lip till tliey seemed to Sy; lie drove the rain into level lines And roared in the tops of the tallest piefs. He never paused in his greeting rough. For it seemed he could not go fast enough. Hut where h- was going none could say, And all you would hear if you went that way Was, "Oh, what a dreadfully windy day!" —Youth's < rnpanion. Cat* I.ive In the Cliurelien. In Naples there exists a race of cats which live in the churches. They are kept and fed by the authorities on pur pose to catch the mice which infest all old buildings there. The animals may often be seen walking about anions the congregation or sitting grave ly before the altar during time of mass. An Exception. Bridget—Maggie, did ye git a eharac ther from the lasht place ye wurrukedV Maggie—No, Bridget, but (pointing to array of merchandise she had just re moved from her trunk) 1 guess I got moighty noigb iverything ilse. —Boston Courier. Table* Turned. "The first time 1 tried to smoke a cig arette it made me awfully sick." "You are getting even now." "I don't see how." "Why, now they make everybody else Bick when you smoko them."—King. 1 . Too Soon. "What are the names of that newly married couple nest door?" "Oh, we can't lind out for a few weeks. They call each othei 'Birdie.' " —Mirth. Old Soldier's Experience. M. M. Austin, a civil war veteran, of Winchester. Iml . writes My wife was sick a long time in spite of good doc tor's treatment, but was wholly cured by l>r King's New Life Pills, which worked wonders for her health. They always do. Try them. Only 25c at Panics tV: L'o'a drug store. "UNDER THE SUN." The men who have gone before u» Have suriß the soijas we sing. j The words of our clamorous chorus, Thej' were heard of the ancient king. The chords of the lyre that thrill us, They were struck in the years pone by. And the arrows of death that kill us Are found where our fatlit i 3 lie. The vanity suns of tin preacher J* vanity still today; The m< in of lite strirken ireature Has runj* in the woods alwav. But the Foncs are worth resitißinc, itli the i liance of no fin:de note. Arid the s|n>ken w nls ;ire ringing As th'-y rang in the \ears remote. There is no new road to follow, love, I X..r need tin re . ver he, j For the "Id, with its hill and hollow, lore. Is enough for you and inc. —Charles 11. Itaeon in Century. French Rakers. j P.akors in Franco are subject to ro j strietions and regulations undreamed I of in England. In tlie fortified towns aloug the frontier they are bound by ; law to have a certain stock of (lour al : way- tin liaml in ease of emergencies. The bakery not only lias to be kept clean, but the baker has to deposit with the local authorities a certain sum of money as a surety for the prop er conduct of his business. The law also looks after his weights and measures, which circumstance | places him in the same position as the | British baker, but in addition the law j regulates the price at which bread can be sold. Napoleon 111 ordered oil one occasion that a loaf about equal to our quartern should be sold for not more than six pence, and this at a time when we were paying eight pence and niuepence. —London Tit-Bits. Qncrn Victoria nml Her Artlstn When her children were in their short froek anil knickerbocker days, the queen made them write a little daily diary of their doings, which she passed upon nightly in the royal nursery. Often the youngsters were hard up for "copy" and used to appeal for help to members of the household. They repaid their helpers by giving them sketches made by themselves, which differed in no way from the dogs and horses and houses of the ordinary child. One of the house hold, now dead, preserved some 40 or 50 of these alleged drawings, and not long since an enterprising magazine made his widow a handsome offer for them. The queen heard of this and sent for Lady 11. "l'lease do not dispose of them," her majesty said. "I cannot bear to think of things that have so many tender and sacred associations passing into hands other than ours." It need hardly bo added that the queen's wishes were honored, and Lady 11. furthermore gave the album whicb contained the nursery relics to the mother of the little artists.—Success. Lnte Apolngieii. Lady—Do you remember, professor, that 2«> years ago when we took danc ing lessons together you stepped on my toe, almost causing me to faint? Professor—Oh, yes. 1 beg a thousand pardons.—Meggemlorfer Blatter. A iluiie<enH Case. "After years of effort I have suc ceeded iu learning how to pronounce 'Goethe.'" "Well, are you satisfied now?" "No; every time I say it somebody corrects me."—Chicago Record. I nele Allen. "The seven ages of man," Uncle Al len Sparks was saying, "as I have ob served the creature, are these: 1. Crib bage. 2. Nonage. 3. Suffrage. 4. Mar riage. 5. Bondage. 6. Breakage. 7. Dotage."—Chicago Tribune. Hon Styles Come In. "Why isn't it proper to wear a watch chain with a dress suit?" "Frequently a man has to pawn his watch and chain to rent the suit." —Chi- cago Record. Safety. "I wonder why that shoplifter always wears a rainy day dress?" "To prevent any one from getting on her trail."—Chicago News. From nn Author's Notebook. The following is an extract from the diary of an impecunious author: "Rose at 5 and had a sonnet and a glass of cold water for breakfast. I retired ear ly in the evening without supper, as 1 feared the neighbors would be annoyed by t rait I >4 of tLe knives and fork Atlanta Constitution. Nasal CATARRH In all its stages there HhotilJ be cleanliness. ftVt » Ely's Cream Balm cleanses, soothes and heals diseased membrane. 1 5 It< ires catarrh and drives M away a cold in the bead quickly. Cream Balm is placed Into the nostrils, spreads over the membrane and is absorbed, lielief is im mediate and a cure follows. It is not drying—does not produce sneezing. Large Size, 50 cents at Drug gist* or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mad. ELY BROTHERS, sti Warren Street, New York. Red I Suppressed Menstruation UrOSS PAINFUL ■j" M Menstruation I anSV And a PREVENTIVE tor ■ «« J FEMALE 111 — 1 mu ■ ■ | IRREGULARITIES B 8 I Q Are Safe and Reliable. B 111 J"^T^Perfectlj^Harinlcss The Ladies' ?RICESI.OO Sent postpaid on receipt of price. Money refunded if not as wy - Yin de Cinchona Co. Des Moines, lowa. For Sale by Rossman & Son. 'I tie riAI>HJIL,SI AINU BEST WAY TO NDLE A PAN IS BY THK Handiest on? Best Route between W the PAN-AMERICAN EXPOSITION on? NEW YORK is the [[■■■■■ l For Information, Rates, etc., address 429 BROADWAY, N Y. 209 MAIN ST., BUFFALO. 103 A O A M S ST., C H I C AGO. CIGMTH t OLIVE 6TS., ST. LOUIS. 28 t XCH A N G E PLACE, N . Y. fTj [| | H I I H T. E. CLARKE. T W. LEE. B. O. CALDWELL. HJllllßllii 1 Gen'l Superintendent. Qen'l Pastenger Ag't. Trattig Manager. ' D.L.&W. RAILROAD, TIME TABLE. Corrected to May i, 1901. New York. AM* AM* I'M* Barclay .St I.V. 2UI iO 00 1 (X) 1 liiisloplier St.. " 10 00 lot! lint. okcn J ."(I 10 l& J 20 Serallton Ar ti 32 152 543 -M AM I'M- I>l|* liuft'alo I.vt J1 30 245 Scrautoii Ar 545 10 Ul AM+ AM* PM: |>M* SoaAKTOM •> 45 10 05 166 I 660 ISellevue... 0 50 Taytorvilie ti 55 Jo 15 2us 559 I.'ti'kawanna 7 111 111 23 210 , 1; in; i Duryea 7 0:1 10 2ti 2 1.1 ,j in I'ittston 707 10 SI 217 ! i:j Susquehanna Ave... 710 10 33 2 111 « |,; West Pitmen 713 10 35 223 au, Wyoming 717 10 40 :i 27 t; 21 ! Forty Fort Bennett 724 10 40 234 0 iiO Kingston ar. 7 .HI 1U 64 240 1; i Wilßes-Barre Ar 740 11 10 250 t; 48 W1 Ikes-liar re .Eve 720 10 30 230 t; 20 Kingston Iv 730 10 54 240 ! u35 Plymouth June... . •••• ! Plymouth 738 11 03 2 4;, 4^ A vondale.. 7 42 254 Nanticoke 7 4-j 11 11 258 »; r,i II unlock'! 751 II 17 3 Oti I 057 Shickshlnny *Ol II 29 320 ' 7 w Hick's Ferry *'2 ''l 43 330 f7 21 Beach I'aven 818 11 48 337 - Berwick *23 "54 344 7 :( ;j Briar Creek J8 2® 112 3 50 ; Willow Grove •'* f3 54 Dime Uidge „;7 fi2 oil 868 Espy J®' 12 15 4 Oti 756 Bloomsburg ■ K " 12 22 412 7 f.7 Kupert 27 417 801 Catawlssa " ,H 12 .'l2 421 w ,15 Danville 12 47 435 s2O Chulasky •••: 4 42 Ctmeron 921 12 57 44n Nokthumbekland .V. 110 600 "K jf, Ar. AM PM PM I'M GOING BAST. Nkw YOHK PM* PMf Barclay St. Ar 335 600 Christopher St... 330 466 , Hobokon \ 315 i4# •Scrunton .! 10 05 12 55! AM* I'M* AM* AM* Buffalo A 1800 j 12 45 j 7(0 Scranloii I.\ 155 j 548 11 35 AM* PMf IPM + PM* Scranton 942 12 36 , 460 845 Bellevue 9 :57 1 4 46 Taylorville j 9 i>2 440 ! 835 Eackawanna it 2ti 432 i 827 Huryea 9 23 4 29 8 26 Plttfl ton it l'.» 12 17 424 821 Susquehanna Ave. it 10 12 14 420 818 West Pittston it IS | 417 I BHi Wyoming ! 909 12 08 412 I 812 Forty Fort I 9 04 ; 4 417 Bennett sil 4 03 8 04 Kingston, I *6B 11 59 400 802 Wilkes-Burro. . Lv HSO 11 6V • 360 ! 760 Wilkes- Barn- Ar 90# 12 10 410 B|o Kingston I 868 11 69 j 400 1 SOS Plymouth Junction 1 s sl > 362 i Plymouth 847 11 51 347 753 Avomtale 1 842 342 Nanticoke ! 838 it 43 j 338 i 740 Hunlock s | 832 331 H4l Shickshlnny *22 u29 320 731 Hick's Ferry ! *l2 3 oil f7 21 Beaeh Haven j 502 3j3 : 712 Berwick ; 765 nos 12 58 705 Briar Creek ! ,J 49 j f;j 53 f t j 5^ Willow Grove I 7 44 1 f2 50 Eirne Ridge j I 3" 240 fB 50 Espy | 732 jo 48 j 240 ti 44 Bloomshurg 124 10 48 ; 234 038 Hubert 117 jo 37 229 , ti 82 Uatawlssa 'l2 1034 224 ti 27 Danville j " 08 10 19 211 ti 12 Chulasky • ■ i Cameron 112 ' f2 ul fo 03 NoktuUMBKaL'D... *',V° iJn'A; i + l .60 *5 60 Ev ; AM M |PM PM Connections at Kupert with Philadelphia Keailing Kallroad for Tamanend, Tamaqua, Williamsport, Sunbury, Pottsville, etc. At Northumberland with P and E. Div. P. K. K. for llarrisburg. Lock Haven, Emporium, Warren Corry, and Erie. * Daily. + Daily except Sunday. fStop 011 signal. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD, TIME TABLE 111 Effect h ■ 18thj 190 A M A M! P.VI.P. M Seranton(DAtH)lv \6 45 g» 38 218 27; I'ittston " " 708 fiooo §242 4 52j ] A.M. A.M. P.M. P.M Wilkesbarre,.. lv §7 3o ijio 35 308j8 00 Plym'th Ferry " I 7 37 110 42 112 8 16 fe 07 Nanticoke " 748 10 50 326 817 ""].. Mocanaqua .... " 804 11 07 248 637 Wapwallopen.. " 8 13 11 lti 3 s<i 647 Nescopeck ar 824 11 211 407 700 A.M. P.M. P.M. Pottsville lv § 5 50 fl2 01 \ Hazleton " 705 200 550 Tomhicken " 722 218 ti 10 Fern Glen " 729 1 227 ti 18 Kock Olen "I 7 35 1 2 34 ti 25 " Nescopeck arj 800 j 3 00, ti 50 Catawissa... .ar |a7m a.m p.m. p m Nescopeck lv § 8 24 §ll 4 07 ;T 00 Creasy " 833 11 :t,i! 4 lti 7oy Espy "Ferry.... " 1 8 43 11 40 112 4 24 7 20 E. liloomsburg, " 847 11 50 4 29! 725 j Catawissa ar 856 1157 4 35j 752 Uatawlssa lv j 855 11 57 4 35; 7 32, South Danville " «14 12 15 4 53j 7 51! Sunbury " 935 12 40 515 815 \A, M. P.M.'P. M RM. Sunbury lv || » 42 $ 1 lo § 5 45 «8 40 Eewisburg.... ar 10 13 145 Bis Milton " 10 08 139 814 901 Williamsport.. " 11 0o 230 7 ltlj 960 Lock Haven... " 11 69 340 807 Renovo "A.M. 440 900 Kane " 8 251 P.M. P.M. Dock Haven. . lv,gia 10,8 8 45 ! .... Bellefonte ....tir 10511 4 44 ; Tyrone "I 2 15 II ti 00 I'liilipsbnrg " 4412 8 20 ! t leartleld.... " 637S 9 09 Pittsburg.... " 056 111 I A.M. P. M. P. M. P M Sunbury lv 960§1 55 J 5 25||8 31 llarrisburg ar! -II 311 §315 , ti 65, 50 10 P. M. P. M. P. M. A M| Philadelphia., ar (i 3 I7!|| 8 23 ||lo 20| 4 25 Baltimore "1$ 311 ; 8 nO 9 4-i 2 30! Washington... "j§ 4 10-1, 7 16 |lO 65j 4 lA.M.jP, M.j i Sunbury lv §lO t*i § 2 tKt; I Lewlstown Jc. ar 11 10 350 1 Pittsburg " t>ss|§ll3o| j | A.M. P, M. P. MP M Harrisburg.... Iv 'll 46 II 3 46 || 7 20 jlo2, P.M. A.M.AM Pittsburg ar ( 0 55||| 1130 || 1 50! 5 30 'P.M. pma M AM! Pittsburg lv 1 ) 7 lit ;! 8 3o!| 300 18 00 (a.M am p m llarrisburg.... ar J 155 3 4"j., 9 30:j 3 loj | AM! AM! PittsbUlg lv ; L.ewistown Jj. "1 7 30 15 3 !0; Sunbury ar' > tt 2oj Is 5 00 P. M. A M A Mj A M Washington... Iv 10 40| 11l 7.5" ilOStl! .... Baltimore •• ||U 41 4 50i 840 114., Philadelphia... " |ll 20|j 425 S :«lj 12 26 A. M. A M A. M.j P Ml llarrisburg.... lv 335 755 ill -40 j 4 00; Sunbury ar j605 i 9 3t> 1 10,! 640 'p.m. ia ma m Pittsburg 1\ ;12 45 3 00 s 8 (Ni t'leartielil.... " 4 09, i. 928 PUilipsburg.. " 4 sti i 10 12i Tyrone....:. " 7 15' a 8 10 12 30! "• Bellefonte.. " 8 311 1 932 1 42 1 ; Look llaven ar 9 ;fu 10:50 243 IP. M. A M V M P M Kane, .V.V.'.V.VB 40| ti 00 j ;" 11 Kenovo " 12 10 . ti 44 10 30 ; Haven " 125, 7 35; 11 25 3 I*' A.M. P M WilliauiMport .. ", 210 8 30.12 411 4 IKI Milton •' 222 , 919 127 4 .2| Eewisburg " 1 905 1 lfe 447 ' San bury ar, 310 »40 1 651 6 2o|""''_ A.M. AMI' MP Ml Sunbury lv ?7 42 9 ">5 ;200 ; 5 4s, Seutl, Danville" 713 10 17 221 8 »1" *I * I ; t'alawlssa " 733 10 36. 2 'U, 8 27|"" J E Bloomsburg. . " 739 10 43 243 6 32j ! Espy Perry " 74 i l'lo 47 t6 36 " I Creasy 44 7 5.3 10 66, 2 -"v, '» Nescopeck " BU3 1105, 305 6 !•!■ "" 1 A M A M P. M. P M | Cntawissa 1\ 7 38 .Nescopeck Iv ;ll 37> S I 10 s 7 0", Kock (lien ar 820 12 01 [ 4 3t> 7 311 Fern (lien " 8:5:; 12 071 442 7 Tomhicken " 812 12 15 151 74, Ha/.leton " 902 12 35 5 12, 806 "" Pottsviiie •• 10 ttr> 220, ti 30 90.' :::: AM AMP M P M 1" Nescopeck. lv .8 P3 11 06 -3 Oi 855 Wapwallopen. .ar 818 II 20 31 •• 70y Mocanauua...." 828 1132 329 721 Nanticoke " 84s 11 64 348 742 P MI Plv 111' th Ferry 18 57 12 02 35, f7 52 Wllksbarte ... " 906 12 lo 4 or,, sOO AM P M P HP M PittSton( DA H) ar 929 12 49 4Mi 838 Scranton " 11 10 08 1 18 52429 05 \ Weekdays. I Daily. 112 Flag station. Additional Train leaves Hazleton 5.15 p 111., Tumliii'ken s.:(■> |,. in., Fern tilen 5.43 p. 111., ltoek Glen 5.50 p.m., arriving at Uatawlssa 0.25 p. in. Pullman Parlor and Sleeping Cars run on through trains between Sunbury. Williamsport and Erie, between Sunbury „nd Philadelphia and Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts burg and the West. For lurtlier information apply to Ticket Agents /./>'. IIUTCIIINSON, J. It. WOOD, Utn'l Manager. Gen'l I'ass'nW A<j. Shoes, Shoes St-jrlisih.! Oiiea,p ! IFSelisi'ble I Bicycle, Cymnasium and Tennis Shoes. THE CELEBRATED Carlisle Shoes AND THE Snag Proof Rubber Boots A SPECIALTY. A. SCHtVTZ, HIS NEW! A Reliable TIN SHOP Tor all kind of Tin Roofing, Spoutlne and Ceneral Job Work. Stoves, Heaters, Ranges, Furnaces, eto. PRICES THE LOWEST! QIiLITY TDE BEST! JOHN HIXSON NO. 116 E. FRONT ST. JOHN W. FAENSWOETH INSURANCE Li Fire Accident and Steam Boiler Office: Montgomery Budding, Mill Street, Danville, - - Penn'a PHILADELPHIA & READING RAILWAY IN EFFECT MARCH 30, IWOI TKAINS LEAVE DANVILLE (weekdays only) For Philadelphia 11.45 a m. For New York 11.25 a m. For Uatawissa 11.25 a. m„ 6.04 p. m. For Milton 7.32 a, in., 4.00 p m. For Wllliamsport 7.32 a. in., 4.00 p m. Trains for Baltimore, Washington and tb« South leave Twenty-fourth and Chestnut streets, Philadelphia, weekdays—3.2B, T. 14 10.23 a. m., 12.16, 1.33, 3.03, 4.12, 5.03, 7.26, 8.36 p. in., 12.21 night. Sundays 3.23, 7.14 a. m., 12.18 1.33, 4.12, 6.03. 7.26, 8.26 p. m. ATLANTIC CITY RAILROAD. Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street Whaif and South Street Wharf. W EEKD.vvs— Express 6.00,9.00 a. m., (Satur days onlv 1.00) 2.00 4.00,5.00, 7.15 p. in. Aj coimnodation 8.00 a. in., 5.80 p. m. Sunday Express, 6.00. 9.00, 10.00 a. m., 7.15 p. in. Ac commodation 8.00 a. Ml., 5.00 p. ill. Leave ATLANTIC CITY DEPOT-Week days—Ex press 7.30, 9.00, 10.15 a. 111., 2.50, 5.30, 6.00 p. m. Ai'fom modal ion_B.os a. m.,4.05 p in. Sundays Express 10.15 a. in., 4.30, 5.80, 8.00 p. in. Accommodation— 7.ls a. m., 1.05 p. in. Parlor cars on all express trains. LEAVE PHILADELPHIA. MAY and OCEAN CITY -Week -9.15a. in., 4.15 p.m. Sundays—B.l6a.m. • ISLE CITY —Weekdays—9.ls a. m. YORK ANl' ATLANTIC CITY EXPKESS. VOHK (Liberty Street) 3.40 P. M ANTIC CITY, 8.80 A. M. time tallies at ticket offices. BESLEIi, KDSON J WEK.KH General Agent. m «■ = ——^ New Coal Yard! R. J. Pcgg, Coal Dealer, has re moved to his new COAL YARD. Oil ICM: —No. 344 Ferry Street (near 1). L- & W. H. R. Crossing ) \ ARi) —In rear ofOttice. Robert J, Pegg, COAL DEALER. Telephone No 158