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How t ss Is wD e -9w..U him.
Why h .4 dis * ueebes.ty Be wu hat ip. : toreachithe lithoua thatlý i ua um Where oughb h oilk.'o bueis nd nees to be always found Within the pale of the church. True love is noaridaed by ashwers of ad verse fortune, as the rotes and violets by showers of veralod lai The man who-was disturbed iamind took adose of yeast-powders, and immediately rose above his teaubles. Auctions should bfesed places at which to pick p mattl, as everything is ex pected to be keeokd down. If you aals what most men call plea sure, you will And it eos.posed of one part humbug and two parts pain. The -art of beeozs .of, importance in the eyesof othepp is not Io-.overrats-our selves, beto can them to do it. . Why is the printing-press like the for bidden tree in Paradise f Because from it springs the knowledge both of good and evil. It is said that bleeding a partially blini horse at the nose will restore him to sight. To open a man's eyes you must bleed him in the pocket. " Won't that boa-eenstrictor bite met" said a little urchin to a showman. "Oh ! no, my boy, he never bites; he swallers his wittles whole." Why are young ladies, at the breaking up of a party, like arrows t Because they can't go off without beaux, and are in a quiver until they get them. "My dear,"'said an affectionate spouse to her husband, "am I not your tonlrea-= sure?" "Yes, was the cool reply, 'and I would willingly lay it up in heaven." A witness being interrogated as to his knowledge of the defendant in the case, said he knew him intimately; " he had supped with him, sailed with him, and horsewhipped him." " I say," sld a: Yankee to an Irishman, who was digging in his .ade, "are pbu digging out a bole In tat -onion bed ?" " No," said t, " 'm digging out the dirt and leaving the hole." " You have plafed the deuce with my heart," remar~ d a yog geatleman to a young lady, who was partner in a game of whist. "'ause you played the nave," replied the lady, smiling. " Hallo ! I say, what did you say your medicine would care f Oh, it'll cure everything, heal anything !" "Well, I'll take a bottle; maybe it'll heel my boots they need it bad enough!" A gentleman of Rochester saw an adver tisement that a cure for dyspepsiala might be had by sending a postage-stamp to the ad vertiser. He sent his atamp, and the an swer was, "Dig is your garden and le whisky alone." " The candles you sold me last were very bad," said 8uett to a tallow chandler. " In deed, sir, I am very sorry for that." "Yes, sir ; do you know they burnt to the middle and would then barn no longer." "You surprise me; what, sir, did they go out?" " No, sir; they burnt shorter." A wealthy gentleman, who owns a coun try-seat, nearly lost his wife, who fell into a river which flows through his estate. He announced the narrow escape to his friends, expecting their eengratulations. One of them--an old baehelor-wrote as follows: " I always told you that river was too shal low." A wealthy merchant, who had become a bankrupt, was met, some time after his misfortune, by a friend, who asked him how he was getting on. "Pretty well," he said, "I am upon my legs again. "How! already 9" "Yes; I have been obliged to part with my carriage and horses, and now I have-to al" Sne celebrasted ~uiston, uingos ita Lady Jekyll, -ister o Lord Somers, was asked by her ladyship why the Creator made woman out of the rib. After reflect ing a moment, the philosopher replied, " Indeed, my lady, I don't know, except it was because the rib was the crookedest bone in man's body." An accepted suitor one day walking with the object of his affections hanging upon his arm, and describing the ardency of his affection, said, "How transported I am to have yea hanging upon my arm." "Upon my word," said the lady, "you make as out a very respectable couple, when one is transported and the other hanging !" A knowing traveler out West, who had chartered half a bed at a crowded hote and was determined to have the best bucales a spur on is neet netore turning in. His unfortunate sleeping partner bre the infldiction as long am he could, and at last roared out, "ay, stranger, if you're a gentleman, yen ough t.eatyor toee-nall." An extraordinary lastane of the power of sleep on the animal economy oecarred the other day. A san who was a great sleeper, was thought by his family to be lying too long, and upon their going to his room they found nothing in the bed but his night eap. From certain circumstances connected with physiology, a medical gen tleman gave it as his opinion that he had slept himself oat. Some people have singular ideas of per fect happianess. An industrious Scotchman nwhreaided near New York for a quarter of a~eentry, and who had aooumulated a very htl~aonme property, recently sent to tlIeo " auld contrie" for his father, with the view tlhi he share his prosperity, and slip away from bis lease of life as smoothly as possible. One day a friend of the family paid a visit-to the elegant mansion on the Iudson, where the old gentleman was liv ing with his son, and took eccasion to com plimnent the proprietor of the estate on its surpassing loveliness and cosy comfort. The owner full of love for his beautiful home, saidhe looked upon it and its asnr roundings as "a perfect heaven on earth." "Heaven on earth i" growled the venerable Scot, "heaven on eartb, and no' a thimble fu' o' whuskey in the haill hoose !" JUVENILE COLD/R. A TRUI STORY or A sw TroRK MA nsor. "How em I ser gohomet mother with San nAleo, a lad twelve re s' #a, -10 k seed. the tumble-down w Lh *reIoe c er 4, a dart arrt s 9 -llapp - "AI dolbal togoto her. Ilt a don'tGave+ she'll never have h ea /_ to rise again; and I haven't a woeth da. Other boys ,maa ,,,ume-0 . thing ol-d .liatibsam-I bat I can't, I tuson thears's e taAe In me. If I eouald nly go t school jminay wouldn't I lemar t But that isn't'beetstesk for mother; what ever -shall I e TW And the industrious little fellowatood a mnoment in silent communion. He seemed to have almost attained the stature and dignity of a man in this moment of contemplation for he drew himself up proudly, and walked Into the house, up the rickety old stair-way, through the long narrow hall, into the room where his poor mother lay waiting And listening ibr the step of her only cdimfort. "Oh, Willie, darling?- I am so glad you have come. What sort of a d you had, dear t It has seemed an age inyo left me this morning." And the nuffe ng woman turned away from her boy, wept bitterly. . o k "Yes, you dear little mother, I know it! Rats and mice and a dark garret aren't ex actly the society for a sick woman ! I have brought youea an orange and a roll." He continued forcing a cheerful smile: " But to tell you the truth, everything has gone against me to-day.. Everybody was plenti fully supplied withmnatehesand shoestrings, and I got a good many more snubs than coppers. But who cares t Things will fix themeelves oneo f these days, if I can only" keep you from starving to death !" And here tears filled the brave boy's eyes; but he dashed them quickly one side, and kept on hopefully. "But what have you had to eat, Willie t" inquired the invalid softly, not daring to trust her voice. Willie noted the quivering lip and tearful tones, but this made him braver still ; and as he smoothed back the beautiful hair from the invalid's hollow temples, and caressed the pallid cheek upon which a little spot of hectic glowed, he replied: "Never you fear, mamma, dear, for a boy in New York city. Phil. Pearson gave me a piece of his Washington pie, and another boy gave me an apple, .id alw' got enough. Now please eat the orange and the"roll, if you can. How l wish Ihad a bit of butter for yea! Itow, mother, I am going out a few moefts. 'T> want to make arrangements, if-po.asble, for a better day to-morrow; so be a good little mamma until I return. Perhaps- I shall have some good news to bring you.--w W .'knows t Stranger things than that have happened." Willie's fathehad been dead early two yeaih, and on account of his maryng womap .unconnected with the arto tic set his family intended him to chopse from, neither father, mother, sister -or brother hadever visited or taken t beeast notice of himself or wife. During-fis long and pain ful illness, not a relative had approached him. The pine coffin which enclosed the remains of Stephen Alcott had-not yet been paid for, and the widow, overcome with grief and long watching, with the direst poverty staring her in the face, suc cumbed mentally and physically; and death *would have been very welcome, bat for the unprotected condition of heronly child. The afectionate boy, with another kism, and a proimise to return shortly, passed out from his mother's presence. She could not trust her voice to ask where he was going; but she knew he was good and faithful, and therefore had no fears in regard to bad company or improper influences. Willie realized that, try as hard and industriously as he might, he never could be able to support his mother comfortably, or keep her aliveeven ; and he determined to make a desperate effdt for her relief. The color forsook his cheek as he ascended the step of an aristocratic mansion in - street; for Willie, although a brave boy, was by no means a bold one; and he shrank from contact with those who had neglected his father during his illness and death, and ig nored the existence of his mother in her wido ddThistreaL __ "Go down to the basement door," said the pompousporter as he threw wide the massive portals. How do you dare, you little beggar, to ring a gentleman's bell ?" And Willie, with a quick motion, glided into the hall just in time to escape having the door closed in his face. "Hands off," said Willie, as the lackey attempted to repnove him. "Show me into the parlor, and tell Mr. Stephen Alcott that his grandson, William Alcott, wishes to see him;" and with the air of a prince royal the young gentleman with patched knees and toelems shoes, unclosed the drawing-room door, sad entered. "The family are at dinner," said the servant, closely following. "Perhaps you had better send your card down." -"I will go down myself," said Willie, of pasteboard;" and without another word, he started in the direction indicated by the servant. "Mr. Alcott's grandson. Here's a pretty go-! I'm blessed if it isn't !' muttered the porter. "I wonder what the Squire willdo with the ragamuffino. Mr. Alcott's grand son ! Ha ! ha ! ha! thatis toogood." Willie did not stop to look back. His old shoes made no noise on the thick carpet, and without thinking or caring whether guests might be present, he opened the door of the elegantly furnished dining-room, and advanced to the side of the old gentle man at the head f the table, with a "Good evening, grandfather !" which electrified the whole company. What could ft mean ? The old lady drew back with an expression of disgust, and every eye was turned towards the new-comer, who, cap in hand his finue face aglow with excitement, i7aited the effect of his greeting. "What do you say you young rascql i IHow do you dare to- And here the old man's temper became uncontrollable. "Put this bootblack in the street," he roared ex citedly to one of the servants. "Call me whatever you please, sir. That does not alter the fact of my being your grandson, the only child of your eldest son,.. Stephen Alcott. My mother is dying for the want of proper food and care, and I have come to inform you, sir, that I have tried in vain to keep her comfortable-have done all a boy could do, and failed; and -I taim. - °f . , wl Shee4o yn- y r you WAu -dd w loteer 6n ersh m y y idf "Wth mye ofm o of the tittle- es otaoags. sºqi&Iorsy asn ye-yr us vt' obwsi rogta ant ton. the tears stiamed down "' mids 1 Ieod avt be ailty of agreat Wrongd but I bledived the feally comfort abisea W 414.Wby . -ye: .me- before I Rence yshsth5 ai i premise that you and your motrp shall be my own, to keep and cherish. Maes a rplae by my ide for my gadson." Bat Wilie was too fail to "Whey my darling mother is made com ftoh. theal aeat,greadfather, but not now . Thereowas-not idry ye-at thatablesnd Mrs. Alcott, woman of the world as she w thou ht it best to go with the ma-' ort and accoidingly her lace-bordered handkerchief was brought into requisition. That very night the invalid was moved to oneef the old gentleman's houses, and surrounded by every comfort and laxury, where she rapidly convaleseed. Willie wasr placed at school, ad when old enough will occupy the position originally intended for his father In the firm of Stephen Alcott & Co. So much for grit. MILLUIaEXU CouMxGs.--Dr. Cnmmings is amodest man. He has been lately in correspondence with the Pope. So he says. We shoald say it is all on one side like the tower of Pisa. He has written to the Pope to tell him that if the Doctor received an invitation to attend the (Ecumenical Coun cil he would go. He would do more-he would go quite fearlessly, and tell the assembled prelates to their teeth a great many things they might not like to hear. He would tell them forinstane, that-unity was not to be foun in the Roman Catholic Church. It never was there, is not now, and will not be to the end of time, which the Doctor can calculate to an hour. Where, thena It to be found In the Anglican and Presbyterian Churches "in, its iihest anb sapremest appe." Unity, like truth, is one, and aiftof eno degrees, but the doctor mast, say ings in an ont of-the-way manner. o would further tell the assembled s that if they looked at the questio w Ich all true Christians agreed, questions on which they conscie ously differ, the former were "lk t dlouds that Bfoat along, slightly eniag the land as-they pass, while the tter Weo like stars, shining in their un dimmed and orighial splendor." We have no ubjection to the sentiment, but we fear the Doctor's l wouldmake no impression on the Council The best thing he oeeuld do wauia e to mind the Scote' Ciurch, and wigboh book on Daniel,lf he has not Ayorbsaethe thabat in the twenty volumes alt b ViUis ahe As to this intrepidity, we do t see how it could be tested by a Journey ito ome. He would be as safe there as ie his conventicle. We need not discuss what he would have so iearlessly said had he received the invitation but we may observe that his distinction between "Protestant unity" and "Catholic uni formity" is about as silly as he ever pro pounded, and be lies under a heavy weight of leaden trifles. The doctor hat not a very discriminating audience in Leeds or he woald not venture on such a paradox. But when did he utter sense His Eiresdce was a poor pilfer from Dr. Posey. FvMewm's Journal. Yovun Tnns Now.-Eigbteen years ago the British Parliamnent, at the instance of the English Church clergy, passed a bill prohibiting Roman Catholic prelates from assuming terr torial titles. The act has never been enforced, and now it appears that, after the Irish Church bill has been passed, the Irish Pjotestant bishops will be exposed to the pains and pen alties which were enacted at their suggestion against their Roman Catiolic rivals. Way swrirs,_ as well as judges, seem to believe ia kbg sentences. INSURANCE COMPANIES. Horn wasu.Ls co., oF MEW ORLEANS, Oflsee, No. 21 Camp street. INCORPORATED IN 1817. Cash Caultrl paid I...... . ...............5.0e,00o 00 Available Asset ............................ 355.399 6 Reserve Fund................................. 55,399 Cash Dividend of PWENTY PER CENT de clared May 5, '00 and paid May 10. '6.... 50,000 00 DIsCrolRM: John L Adams, henryj Tte. F. H. Dueroe. Ao. Contur., . C. Denis, w. Alex. Gordon, T. i. Blake, P. Maloche. I. Peychand. Thls Comsy insures agsilst FIRE; MARINE and RETURN PIFTIEH PER CENT to p~tleInsuring. 1H. PECHAUDP lpresal , I' MALOCH, Vie Preident, JOHNON & DEIBIS, .Att'ys. omff c alptre-t .__ .-... - ,.Ga MOUND CITY MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY (of St. LonIs, Masonr IbUISIAHA AGENCY: 1. a story NadIaig, Vpdtairs. OIcicma soEn OnI5I-xA S nACH: (ov. C. H. MOUTON....................President Judge E.T. MRIC..... ........vaes President. ,I . SIUM.MEM. ..................Secretary and .jent. MIDICAL axaLsurs : W. o. AUSTIN, M.D.. JOl. N. FOLWELL, M D Gov. C. H. Moeton. Judge E. T. Merrick, Mesrs. F. Hatch, C. Chlim. James Jackson. Octave ourhies, Thos Fitwlilliam, , . Morse, and . Ii.misues. All kinds of Life Policies isued by this Company d13 ly ..... TE EQVITABLE LIFE ISL'RVt-CE SOCIETY OF sEw rOox. Preset Cah Aesei,. March 31, 1559.........00,0 .7 0 Amnuail Cash Income, March 31, 1........ ,17TJ,0n1 00 Nmbex'ofPollIeesraned In 190 .......... 1,980 Inesuring over..........i.... - i........lI5,233 00 A. P. CLEVELAIND,' 61 Camp street, my9 3m Ge(ersl APnt for LoTallana. t< i,: , L-"- R i ·-.Mi N A ). =nlaI ·rod 'ý'o . m . oA.. .3)1 Y ". . . 900 agasia ma a.Te ~gasmrjs4d.SS No. 8e3 T sbop t betwed ..daa 8eMe pablio patromag~ apM ty G aU.w.am wdIr.mzm, PH. (NIX 8TABLE8 AND UNDETAE aeOFFaanS o.evam CObFINmltau..a daepasso Na oa Taed paeos ote, r amei . .W aom pb i. patram. aT. ly, GCOYNGB o MILJ.'PPAUGebab PH(UNIX STABLES AND tN4ERAXERS, 35 add3flyiaen a Lode mamt 31 and 315 tnas caorner TW. o AB othlck etsablitshment mrdec earse and arragea(M b8 = Sellemlin Mm li e a C and f or twhidhed h i e Slegat Wmaread to bnde. Se oesTby tdi atOmen to btaDIy of Oe me. be exeledmn ethlwYs ever. m•1e. IF . 3 ean ade 37 ly othl a s treet, Wa out and lcr3age,. indsteew O rleans. loarie les.y etamoto. Metn8a l cS CArliIAGE LAto rrrM to Jaire tow&hen band THOS CONOM O asnater ,5119 and oT.p a ascne Seamer of hooed a UNDEERT AD LE R, andtil mdald tatir c fbt y ofa" a. befexor sood, -"" W a lrn sr An8CA4 yS to re,Me W.A A.. A., . - T oand b e theim e tho the 1op nforLeL the tamuiwty ..a Na hmow i r, d ediltea to aerw ande a Clndoued sis rt e Wodl kar aoeihrcD ~ lets and bl 1vdms tr. aSh rad ome, oo nessr o Prtsla wtyad bine CARPENTER A RD BILDE, 138U.._.... .. .gairone Street..... .... 38 19l4 Cke ontdlt tretl Bonr andusi, meraw PEch ngse tAtbINGS .a Relg of "o wOhiaes s ao th prei r Bsenat trl the PaWp t en wtHmo . ra ptm so atteort. vJr. A .RDEed, - etween omp nd C .dlmine streets. 28E ingmolt rtrest, -ogad ato CgPtope, al OInamRNt Go Ream, Chemt, nd o es tciread eoat. ratensmd pos i Orna d to o n rder in the s ibeet Ah orp an colrne p o fp y tta anbtWndemel3 ly oLe. Tyt y, AIN TER, CARPENTER AND BTILDER, 184 -.... o hdetw t uli Boa d i ee ..t .. E g. RNe OuZas. All ortdae In the B tldig I . oathentuly resoled Pd immediately attenteon od ltoy AGet. mmd o rr faNetowolldl tae ndce tht the mubecrlebe doam ta oora oge the ceurdepee O 2un •Gr Brtan, Ireofn,, ;He sy Furnitore E, andre pera sson anon ohnaments emadte oamto t i n the sent uo. He dose not uk md wll net give an upe en woL ettd to hiL J CAPENTR ANTi BUILDEER, .. ............... S ........138 Wll take ron t hBor Bld iding, or do mAk y k ind of jobbiog ito repaircaing rdetorbl lt o the mop or sent throah torterswlo re iie rchmi tprelom ttentb i on. iaps ly JtAtt su.b rib, d w nA TERAt C ARP ETE R, Between rmog eem and Caliopn stretae. wll kiou o Choiic Ieormuthen and Carved Atar. Lw. CBEdSO, PAC IND U E E 4, We tunmoved hic stot to the corner of onnes mmd Comham sheesst He keeps on hand Frenih and Amrompat PaPEn JANGINGS, bERlAloarii clAs, much A m Praye eeds, ImagMa, Engravng, et. Btllontnues the Painting mandmCnanlp Lettout Smad. taoinjde nd Gildt ng etc. Hrao remohe hdis st k r ae totheorn erhoe iairsriors Co twon s Cames p mm. agee sheets. He preps e hatndo ren cENERla Aeitan BPAP NSSicntu l the P aintinng, Wal COOIns G, GLAZInG, etcd, and hops. by strict at Mr F. HERE O hsde. crga of th e the 3.De rtnent, SIGNS BANNERS. FLAGS, eta. lelrovrde will freeie lpompt stenton. feb fin tnie-ynd etecpted In the m pee wor ksn.jhei mane pen Continent, In ·auato et, eo~mmtltly for a rla by boInhlhe Com~mon strsot. __n--:~r~iud~_~e, ~ - : :·;....r*r ga ·'I i ·t! -wa fb . .e ..WU'-a- .. .."s.L]e .. Z i twll, whinea.l aaersl. b . HALL. LYO9aeOSr ALd E N TUENW . iWii UeEWAU . a Mapl, ee be , ,. et ins d .tas.. Anid -by tie pealalpsl4gemi. feb54 fy D"m WIH.n=e AlTa3IO3O, fa H NV * AND Alul ýONsa Will Invariable erome an Miaemtis Pbeta, ,rtsa CMEreL AND rave, or rBEvE Afrt AS, DUMB CILLS. - Ta the ae be tat h te.ne-PUe ao sthoe cm bid os O tn sftin Pa. .. ....te d r o Mil D. , 2Iha'. tnIabe t.*iUr i a.p . wdbof themos SoRUPS seby ae, ndtly I P.ELAI8 T ·I F , 8 h Mo 1- " _ t,, , a m. - . t~se Genetrac tted eassatis ,, ] Ir Ian .D'Cri,..gen arm.astsgl si,--I Des. .saral ae ' est °l 'or- d ,i The Mast U i oisnt, Cemetahle, 0d 5aw.s Tow if t.o. C.aaatraotedans rntpraluapu l a. weight. In i the only Taes that permaasely ecaseto s e arleom band wki sppae, oeadr ga nsti.st With as experlesrneeefete thmb ter yes - radgestj the treatment saad cse sf-as ..sad Bet ra. I eam promise more pers rld, eA coet aa soatyr, and a more rapid improvement than a be obtained of say other peoon or appliease Il the Seeth, wiaost tvwd Ds. T. Sr. a. FE MI deea eo th.e p~i . o rth N sa tree a bop e at. Hoell -From 10 A. ". tot4 P.M. oae. C.* 1 U.. Agent. "DRUGGIST AND APOT SCARY, Would inform hi patons that he bas removed his e 138 Poydrae street, Corner of Church, late St. Mary street, Where be respectfully sellaita a atlnuaamoe of their patronage. A wen assrtedtock of.tesh DUGS and CRx. sp-- apeed both by. ý SYRUPa, Is oeaeiaatiy kept. PURITY I$ ESSETTALe7 E. LALMANT, (eeosmsor to J. U. HARTE,) DRUGOGST AND APOTHECARY, Calborne street, betwees Commes and CasI atreete. A fall aesortment of hut k Dno and Chemiesl GM Yan Ameeioas. sPoeal ate Stion nt p to te of Pm hs aeae Tweeve Po h sisa store ted h rita Lsrennd varied Aottathl a td f r Lafrthem.oien. and Chem.al. su..it.ble.to the. wante of t reost fauoaLand as bate give e RNotst aeaa astton o t eare sapebt ad aseretht the7y may have elanhomeei sn it'bts oPoans Prescriptione orfully madrstre Oer to" me at ho.ale tan ReAl................a 1 o. 1 danks Plce, .r of . street. p R ' ' JAZ:A. GBRHIB, oI TED~·Y G~4oD SEIE I'**ks TS Byt' +z r ,'--- The Diaatauos tOA QTR k U& " , : C *k LU.a '- '. :. 5afl. wL ~ . ftý'gm iF r. ýa. ,vim;.. ývr p .. -< -4. lid L~ - .,. r r ,<tmin laina 1 Jdaweedpeh vraoin Doo ý1ae lrý 0 ia In'U' ·aoct;aý aaoiapl:;.erlpR fl3c.I RY Q. A3 ri~t .R UOOKh:SWTWXAo aAAOgegm 5a~ w-~ ._... y,7ta# - PHO1OGRAPPY, RYC. - pHOTOGurPHS................PNOTOGRASu & A1NDERSO Nt friends sad bnpobli. that to hbs rm.vad - U Camp strreeto I.· -" 183,......... ..CmL dnnurr_. .,.lý3 whet b. Ils pWaVriWS-h8 the reei* hepmyemý in ith Art toeorate She No l.." 3S.di W ahM. rn be edr. at tbald e tmlpmlam.r. Me woastecdiaqe~dm as.16 w s or* eIt~s $IU5 PmMIIL P11TUi , 'whiheb gS H l vy71 W Mt~at. 'Cewbgfl 3S P3.' mN I4 8 ernal st.ee* Nw Oee.. - 011 Pictuew. rkeL MII T Jgg mh I_ J DZiAN.<JR.. _ ._ . ,y& eevry ·,... andfl~ BIDaw 3. 3u-ONDAYU W 1's endATS.~~iJ