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lowa County Democrat.
VOL. XII. UNCLE HUMUS' REVIVAL HYMN. O! whnr shall we iro w'en de great day comes Wld de blowlu’ uv do trumpet and do bangin' co de drums ? How many po' sinners ‘ll be eotehed out lulo. An - dm- no latch to do goldln pile! No use for ter watte twoll to-morrer! tie sun miisn't sot on yo’ sorre.-. Sin’s t-z sharp oz a bamboo brier 0, Lord! fetch do mu'tiers up higher' Won do nashuns ut do oarf is a stanniu' all armin’ Who’s a gino tor bo chosen f--r tor wear do glory crown ? Who’s a gwino for tor stun’ stiff-kneed an’ hot' An answer to dere name at de callin' uv de roll ? You better come now cf year comm Ole Satan is lose an’ a bit in min'— De wheels uv distruehin is a hnmmin' O, come along, sinner, of you coinin'. De song nv salvation is a mighty sweet song An’ de Paradise win’ blow fur an’ blow strong; An’ Aherham's Imzznm is saf’an’ it’s wide. An dat’s de place wliar do sinner onghter hide! No use tor bo stoppin’ an' a lookin', Kf you fool wid Satan you'll got took in; You’ll hang on do edge an' get shook in, Kf you keep on a stoppin’ an' n lookin', De time is right now. an’ dls here's do plaeo Lot de snlvusmm sun shine square In yo’ fa-o. Light do battles nv do Lord, tight soon an'tight late. An’ you’ll tillers tine a latch on do goldin gate. No use fur ter wait (well to-morrer - Do sun miisn’t sot on’ yo’ sorrer : Sin’s oz sharp oz a bamboo brier Ax de Lord for tor fetch you up higher. Atlanta I'oimtilii/iim. LITRETIA. Two young girls wore standing hy the crossing waiting for an equipage to pass, drawn hy a span of greys, who pranced along as though proud of their mounted harness and liveried coachman. “ Isn’t it an elegant turnout? And to think that all that style is wasted on a cripple.” The speaker was a bright-looking, but evidently thoughtless girl, whose fancy wits taken by show and glitter more than by solid qualities. Luerctia Armstrong's eyes bad been fixed dreamily on a poor little child who had been sweeping the pavement, and whose thin hand was reaching out for a pittance. Site put the coin into it us she answered— “ I was not looking: but, why do yon say wasted on a cripple? lias be no mind or faculties to appreciate his blessing?” “ What a girl you are to sateh one tip so' Of course he has as good an intel lect as any one, and, by all accounts, belter than most ; but, having every thing so elegant makes 1 1 is infirmity the more conspicuous." “ I don’t see why——” The speaker paused abruptly, for here, at llit- very book-seller’s whore sin- was about to enter, a carriage was drawn up, and a gentleman was alighting from it, helped by the footman, who gave him his crutches, upon which he made his way into the shop. As ho passed the friends he raised his hat to Kitty, and smiled pleasantly. Luerotia’s cheeks were burning at the thought that they had boon discussing his infirmities, and sho selected her pa per in silence and hastened away. As soon as she was well out of the place she said, earnestly— “ I think that gentleman has the most interesting face I have over seen. His eyes are superb—great luminous wells of thought. I wouldn’t mind going on crutches to own such a face as that.” Kitty laughed. “ Well, ’Croc, you always were an odd little thing. 1 see you haven’t outlived your little peculiarities. Have you still your collection of maimed and exacting nets ? 1 declare, if it had been any body hut dear, lovable 'free Armstrong who had turned herself into a nurse for animals, we school girls would have cut you in the old days, I suppose, how ever, ‘ the child is father of the man,’or rather (in this ease) woman, and no doubt you’ve kept up your practices since 1 loft (lorton.” Luerctia smiled as her friend rattled on. hut merely said— “ 1 see you are the same Kitty—as much given to exaggeration as ever. But who is the gentleman? I see yon know him.” “ His name is Bale Bertram. Brother Charley is very fond of him. although a mere hoy compared to him. Charlie has hobbies, you know, and Mr. Bertram is so learned on nearly everything under the sun, that, if Charlie gets puzzled, all ho has to do is to go to his old gen tleman friend, and he's jail straight in no time." “ Kitty, how you run on ! If every one were tike you. poor Mr. Bertram would be laid nnon the shelf for soeiet v, 1 fear.” ” He doesn't care for society, so he'd he no loser.” “ IL-’s to be envied for hi- indiffer ence, then, a- he value- it in its true light." Kitty turned and looked at Luerctia. in a quizzical way. from head to foot. “ Well, my dear, if I did not see a pretty, stylish young girl with rny very own eyes. I should rather say I wa talking with an aged philosopher, who had outlived hi- youth. Luerctia"— this was said with gieat impressive ness —" you shall have an introduction. I foresee that Mr. Bertram will be drawn out of hi# shell," “For shame, Kitty.” -aid t’ree. in dignantly ; *’ I will not he introduced , after such a speech. 1 should feel eon-1 scions and uncomfortable after hearing him made fun of. MINERAL POINT, WIB., FRIDAY, DECEMBER SB, 1577. Kilty saw that sho had gone too far. and tunu'd the subject with ready tact ; she was a natural tease, ’nit did not like to see any one in had humor, and in that way was restrained oftentimes from wounding hy her mischievous propensity. Several days had passed since the girls’ conversation, when the object of it called to see Charlie about the tv sult of some experiment he had been making. A newly-engaged servant answered his ring. All unused to the ways of the family, instead of conducting the visitor io Charlie's •* den.’’ as he called it, he was taken directly to the music-room, where his young friend was listening to some Scotch airs which l.ueretia was singing in her rich contralto voice. As he paused on the threshold for a moment, an unobserved listener, she was throwing her whole soul into the rendering of “On, wert thou in the cauld blast !” Tears were near his eyelids as she concluded the plaintive little song. Thoughts long before banished from a mind which would not he morbid lot iking resolutely at the blessings vouch safed, instead of brooding over those de nied —now came thronging into his mind with resistless force. “ Why, oh ! why could not the (front All-Father have taken my wealth, and left me an unblemished body? Then I, too, could have looked forward to a happy home shared by a loving heart. Now it is denied me. Lonely and un cared ior must I go through life!” Thus fora few moments'regretful ideas came thick and fast. But the song was ended, and, with an effort, he became again his cheerful self, as, balancing Ids broad shoul ders on his friendly crutches, he went forward. Charlie greeted him cordially, and in troduced him to Miss Armstrong. She bowed, and rising went immedi ately from the room. The recollection of Kitty's remarks made her sensitive for him, and she was only too glad to escape from the scrutiny of the dark eyes she haired could read her thoughts on her 100 ex pressive face. Bertram attributed her departure to a I dill'ereut reason. “ Like all others, she wished to avoid showing her aversion to a cripple,” he thought, bitterly. Huring the day at the Lungdons he formed a habit of calling often, and. strange to say, never objected to being drawn by Charlie into the family circle, although formerly he had prefirred to have him all to himself, and to avoid ; the ladies of the family. Several times, upon his entrance, Lu eretia found an opportunity to leave upon some ostensible errand ; but, after a time, she forgot to be nervous about his visit, and remained an interested listener to his eloquent and instructive conversation, and then he learned to look for tin* swift glow of sympathy which never failed to brighten the large grey eyes as the chosen theme soared to regions accessible only to those gifted with natures above the common-place. The Langdons lived comfortably and even elegantly, but could not alford a carriage. One evening, just at sunset, Mr. Ber tram drove up to the door and asked for Miss Kitty. She came to the door and absolutely danced with pleasure when he invited her and her friend out for a drive. It took the girl but a few moments to put on her wraps osid take their places in the carriage. As Mr. Bertram took his seal in front of them he said to Killy “I am sorry I never have thought before that a drive might be enjoyed by some of my young friends. I have been very selfish in appearance, 1 fear, but it was in reality owing to my poor appreciation of my lonely rides. It never occurred to me that they could be made endurable by pleasant society. Time Hew on wings. Kitty's tongue, a- usual, was iu viva cious motion ; and Luerctia now and then chimed in, although her enjoy ment wav most of the lime too deep for words. Suddenly from the roadside rushed a tiny Skye-terrier. evidently thinking his mission lav at the horses' feet ; but a shriek and writhing bundle of fur soon convinced the occupants of the carriage that it was all a mistake on the puppy's part. With a faint cry Kitty put her hand kerchief to her eyes. Not so Luerctia. I’h . Mr. Bertram, have the car riage stopped. I must see if the poor little thing is killed,” ‘ Now, < 'ree. none of your old trick-," -aid Kitty, petulantly. “ 1 really be lieve.” turning appealingly to Mr. Ber tram, " that if you don't interfere, she'll bring the horrid little thing into the ear nag. I shall faint, I'm -ure I shall, if -he does. .She always had a weaknes for the maimed of creation.” “Then, Miss Langdon, perhaps your friend may number me among proteges. 1 can claim a place- in that rank.” Kitty blushed—a vivid, ounacounta hle, unbecoming rod. “I'li. Mr. Bertram, 1 beg your par don ! I novor onoo thought!" “ You aro forgiven, Mis* Kilty. In your various unconsciousness of tload ing upon dangerous ground lies the ro ooipt of ouro for vv'iat i- perhaps a mor bid sensitiveness to my iuliruiilv. l.neretia bad not board those re marks. Sbo bad alightod and gone to the poor littlo viotim of self-eonlidenee. Taking him up tenderly, she found that bis injuries were confined to a broken leg; so with much petting and soothing, she took her delicate eatnbrie handker chief and bound up the wounded mem ber. Coming to the carriage she lifted up a pleading face. " May 1 take' him in? See be is somebody’s pel. hook at his collar. It is of silver, and his name Fidget is engraved upon it. Someone is mourn ing for bis loss. We can advertise to morrow," Of course the little animal was ad mitted on the prayer of stu b an inter ('sting special pleader, and the party were soon speeding homewards. All were strangely quiet, even Killy's (•battering tongue bad received a sud den quietus, and Mr. Ilertram was in a brown study. At lasi l.neretia looked up and met bis eyes lived with a strange tenderness upon her face. 1 knew yon think me very sillv, Mr. Bertram, but 1 can’t help it, 1 shonldn t have bad a moment's com fort for days if 1 bad left that poor little thing to sutler.’' No, Miss Armstrong, you are mis taken about my thoughts.' May 1 call in the morning and express them to yon more fully than 1 can do now?” l.neretia looked at him, but thinking by his expression that be was quizzing her, said indifferently “1 suppose yon wish to classify my folly by some learned name. Search the records, by all means, and be sure to relieve my suspense in tin* morning.’ I will most assuredly do so," Ibo low, deep voice bad an earnest ness uncalled tor by the occasion, I ,u --cretia thought, and then dismissed the matter from her mind and gave herself up to the enjoyment of her drive. According to promise, (be next morn ing Mr. Bertram called and asked for Miss Armstrong, and was informed that l.neretia bad taken her portfolio with her, and strolled o(f into I'ie park that lay just behind the residence, and into which any of the family or their friends were at liberty to wander w believer they felt disposed. Here, seated on a small mound, evi dently lost in thought, be found l.ncre tirt, and, before she was fairly aware of bis presence, be bad thrown himself down at her feel, and pronounced her name. She looked tip with a start, and then, observing that bis face was very pah*, she cried— “ Are yon not well, Mr. Bertram? Can I do anything for yon ?” lie gave a sudden start as she spoke, and bis face lost its pallor in an agitated rush of color. ‘‘ 'i es, Miss Armstrong, yon can if you will. Will you forgive me if 1 iihk you to listen to me while I tell you my motive in coming here Ibis morning?” l.neretia, in silent wonder at bis agi tation, settled herself to listen to what be might have to say. “ Miss Armstrong l.neretia yon see before yon a man who seemed at one time to have been selected for fortune's favorite. Wealth, kind friends and health, joined to an unblemished physi que, were mine until the accidcnloc enrred which made me a cripple, I util very lately I have been contented, not withstanding my misfortune, although I bad given up all thought of ever being other than I am -a lonely bachelor. Bid I have fallen under anew influence, that of love, and it rests with yon tosav whether my future is to be’ banov or miserable.” Hit meaning, by this time, began to dawn upon l.neretia. iSbe rose abruptly. “ No, bear me through.” A- lie spoke be look her blind gently, and said— -I’lease sit down, and be your own quiet, kind self until J finish iny story, even if your heart cannot respond to the overpowering passion which lill mine with your sweet image to the ex clusion of all other thoughts and fil l ing-. 1 know lam not a fitting lover to oiler bini-elf l.neretia put out her band with an imperative gesture ' I>o not say that ! It is not so' Any girl might be proud of such an offer.” " Then you will -ay ‘ Ye-!’ ” broke in the eager lover. “ Von will be my W ife ?” ft is so sudden, i had not once thought of yon in that light,” was the hesitating reply, “Tell me truly. Docs this pitiful lameness lessen my chances of gaining your love?” “ -No ! oh, no !’’ she answered, ear nestly. “If anything, I should love >ou better for thinking how much suf fering you must have gone through be fore reaching your pre.-rnt state of noble res ignalion.” ‘‘l have not been very resigned of latej: so you must not give me credit for virtues Ido not possess. But, hie.*# my misfortune, after what you have said, and bless Miss Kitty forgiving me such an insight into my love's tender little heart! 1 should never have bail the courage to oiler myself to you. Miss Luerctia, had 1 not heard that you had a jkiuLiant for the maimed. On the strength of that intelligence I spoke. But von must give me an answer. Is it * Yes,' or ' No?' " .bulging from Ins beaming face he was not ntneli in doubt as to which it was. But l.ueretia said softly 1 will tell you to-morrow.” "Well. I must ho content to wait. on can do me one favor, though, at once. Hive me one look full into those -by eyes. 1 have never yet been able to decide nnon their color. Those white lids have always had a fancy of hiding them, when 1 have most wished to rend their kindly story." Luerctia (lushed so that her pretty lace looked like a blush rose; hut she obeyed Iter lover, and, as she met his ‘ lear, truth-compelling eyes, the know ! edge dawned upon her that she had no need to wait until the morrow that sho loved hint with her whole heart. He road the answer at once in their shy, timid glance, and, drawing her to hint, murmured “Thunk Hod for this! His most precious gift ! Life will he too short to prove how much I love im darling girl my promised wife 1“ \u Agreeable (hiesl. Tlii> longest v that we read of in modern days was one which l>r, Isaac Walts made at Lord Ahney’s in (ho Isle of Might. lie went to spend a tori night, hut they made him so happy that he remained a helmed and honored guest, for Jurlii i/mr*. Few of ns would care to make so long a visit as that, hut it might he worth the while for ns to try and learn the secret of making ourselves agreeable and wel come' guests. To have “ a nice time" when visiting is delightful, hut to leave behind ns a pleasant impression is worth a great deal more. An agreeable guest isa title which any one may he proud to deserve. A great many people, with the lies! intentions and the kindest hearts, never receive it. shindy because they have never eonsid i ered th(> subject, and really do not know how to make their stay in another per son’s home a pleasure instead of an in 1 convenience. If yon are one of these | thoughtless ones, you may he sure that, I although your friends are glad to see you happy, and may enjoy your visit ‘ on that aeeoiml, your departure will he ; followed with a sigh of relief, as the I family settle down to (heir usual oeeu ! pillions, glad that the visit is over. | A great many dillerent qualities and i habits go to make up the character of j one people are always glad to set*, and these last, must he proved while we ' are young, if we expect to wear them I gracefully. A young person whose presence in the house is an inconve nience and a weariness at fifteen, is sel dom a welcome visitor in after-life. The two most important characteris tics of a guest are tael and observation, and these w ill lead you to notice and do Just what will give pleasure to your friends in their dillerent opinions and ways of living. Apply in its best sense the maxim “ When you are in Koine, do as the Romans do." I nless you have some good reason for not doing so, let your friends know the day, and, if possible, (he hour when you expect to arrive. Surprises are very well m their way, hut there are few households in which il is (pule eonve nieiil to have a friend drop in without warning for a protracted visit. If they know that you are coming, they will have the pleasure of preparing (or yon and looking forward to your arrival, and you will not feel that yon are disturbing any previous arrangements which they have made for the day. Let your friends know, if possible, soon after you arrive, about how long you mean to say with them, ns they might not like to ask the question, and would still find it, convenient to know whether your visit is to have a duration of three days or three weeks. Take with you some work that you have already begun, or some hook that you are read ing, that yon may he agreeably employ ed when your hostess is engaged with her own affairs, and not he silling about idle, as it wailing to he entertained, when her lime is necessarily taken up with something else. .Make her feel that, fora small part at least of every da v, no one needs to have any responsi hilily about amusing you. A holy who is charming as a guest and as a hostess once said to me: “I never take a nap in the afternoon when 1 am at home, hut I do when I am si ding, because I know what a relief it has sometimes been to me to have com pany lie down for a little while, after dinner. Simun A. Ilrawn, SI. Sirhulu* for Jautiurtf. K.sn-as leads every state in the L'nion in the yield of corn per acre, being l.'Lo bushels. Little New Hampshire, strange to say, comes next, with a yield of 42. Vermont follows with .'!!; Ohio, *W5.7; Wisconsin, Tl; Indiana, lowa and Ne braska. dU; Michigan, 20; .Missouri. 27. Minnesota, 25.4; Texas and Illi nois, 25 each. NO. •.>(). Humor. A stuttering professor say*, “ The don star is no star at nil; it is a p p-pup planet." The Mobile AVyisAv intimates that the South wants farmers. Somebody to raise Cain, we suppose. Never write letters ton widow. She always takes down the old box and compares yours with the other mans. It the coinage of'JO-eenl pieces isn’t slopped, contribution boxes art' noinn to sutler 20 cents on the dollar. \\ bat s a dollar V asks the nqiAtc It’s just the saint' as gratitude; some thing of which wr t'\vt' more than we have,- //an kn/f. A witness on the stand, in reply to a t|ucstion to what the character olMr. was for truth anti veracity, said : “ W ell, I should say that lit' handles truth verv eart'lessly tieneral (irar.t has not yet mastered the vernacular snllicicnl'ly to hold a polite eonversatioii in French, but he smokes (Incut)y iu that language. \ book eauvasst'r, the other day, talked hall an hour to induce a lady io buy a book. Then she handed him a slip of paper, on which was written " l ine tit'le anti dumb." There is a Georgia darkey who labors under the hallucination that his rations art' brought him every day by an angel. \\ t' should call that a clear case of men tal half-a-ration. Ihllerenl count fit's have dillerenl ways. In Switzerland the donkeys wear hells on (heir necks. In America they sit with their legs clear across the aisle of a street ear. Ihi wit hWf l'irn. A negro in South Carolina, who was complaining of the hard times, declared they were the hardest ever known. “ Why," said he, " 1 works all day and steals all night, ami yet I’m blest if 1 kiu make an honest living." The owner of a pair of bright eyes says that the prettiest compliment she ever received was from a child of four years. The little fellow, after looking intently at her for a moment, impiircd naively, " Art' your eyes new ones?" \ Panbnry young man nearly hank rupteil himself on visiting (ho daughter of the owner of a New A ork aquarium (subsequently discovered to boa (isb market), Ihmlnm \ .Wave Tin' w ife of a Texas sheep-raiser has gone cra/.y over the disappearance of he* nushand. Blieep-raise night and d,.y for his return. oVic York (hmmrrcm/. An e.xehnngt' wants to know how the Turks happened to learn to light so well? Why, man, most of the Turkish odieers have over half-a-do/.en wives. An observing publican says (hat the dillerenee between those going in and those going out of olllee is mainly this : (bn former are sworn in, and (he latter go out swearing. “ Madam, do yon know that yon pos sess one of the llnest voices in the world ?" ruiid a saucy fellow to a woman the other tiny. "Indeed, do yon think so?" replied she, w ith a llnsb of pride at the compliment. "I do, most cer tainty," continued the rascal, “ for if yon hadn't it would have been worn out long ago ! " Bill Shiite was a member of the Twenty-sixth. While the boys crowded ,iround the old (lag at the recent re iinion, Kill, with an irrepressible humor, called on) "Hoys, I am no speaker, hot there's a blamed sight more of yon Imre than I ever saw in a light." This In miidd down the bouse. - I'nniLliu (Ad/.) Itrrinr, Tin'crisis of the battle which forced from the Iron |)nke the cry for " night or Kl.nchcr" was paralleled in that In incinlons moment of the vote on the New York appointments, when we may easily imagine the Iron President as crying out " <)h ! for < 'hristmas or Stan ley Matthews,” SI. I.oim < lltihr-1 >nuo crnl. 11 Mister, will you lend pa your pa per? lie wants to send it to his uncle in the country.” "O, certainly; and a k your father if he'll just lend me the roof of his house? I only want it to make the lea kettle boil." “ I like my mother," said Killy Kliek ith to his Sunday school teacher, “ like everything, hut when she makes me set in the house an' trot the baby all llie time when a hand organ with a monkey is overto < Jidaker's, it makes me spunky an'cross, an' I forgits that it's had to wish I was an orfnn so's I could skite away an' git to he a pirate with long whiskers an' red hoots," Mow often, O, how often, a man with only one solitary button on his shirt,and that one a brass pin, looks with devour ing envy upon his wife’s new seven button kid gloves, and wishes all the shirts ii. his collection were just one glove. There does seem to he some thing wrong in lids division of hut tons, A wi-i; lit i,iso. The Supreme Court of Georgia lias decided, in the ease of a murderer, that "to be too drunk Inform the intent to kill, be must be too drunk to form the intent to shoot." This de cision will not be welcome to those criminals who steep themselves with liquor w henever they wish to do some pa Lard Iy detsj. — New York Hun.