lowa County Democrat.
UNCLE HUMUS' REVIVAL HYMN.
O! whnr shall we iro w'en de great day comes
Wld de blowlu’ uv do trumpet and do bangin' co
de drums ?
How many po' sinners ‘ll be eotehed out lulo.
An - dm- no latch to do goldln pile!
No use for ter watte twoll to-morrer!
tie sun miisn't sot on yo’ sorre.-.
Sin’s t-z sharp oz a bamboo brier
0, Lord! fetch do mu'tiers up higher'
Won do nashuns ut do oarf is a stanniu' all
Who’s a gino tor bo chosen f--r tor wear do glory
Who’s a gwino for tor stun’ stiff-kneed an’ hot'
An answer to dere name at de callin' uv de roll ?
You better come now cf year comm
Ole Satan is lose an’ a bit in min'—
De wheels uv distruehin is a hnmmin'
O, come along, sinner, of you coinin'.
De song nv salvation is a mighty sweet song
An’ de Paradise win’ blow fur an’ blow strong;
An’ Aherham's Imzznm is saf’an’ it’s wide.
An dat’s de place wliar do sinner onghter hide!
No use tor bo stoppin’ an' a lookin',
Kf you fool wid Satan you'll got took in;
You’ll hang on do edge an' get shook in,
Kf you keep on a stoppin’ an' n lookin',
De time is right now. an’ dls here's do plaeo
Lot de snlvusmm sun shine square In yo’ fa-o.
Light do battles nv do Lord, tight soon an'tight
An’ you’ll tillers tine a latch on do goldin gate.
No use fur ter wait (well to-morrer -
Do sun miisn’t sot on’ yo’ sorrer :
Sin’s oz sharp oz a bamboo brier
Ax de Lord for tor fetch you up higher.
Two young girls wore standing hy
the crossing waiting for an equipage
to pass, drawn hy a span of greys, who
pranced along as though proud of
their mounted harness and liveried
“ Isn’t it an elegant turnout? And to
think that all that style is wasted on a
The speaker was a bright-looking, but
evidently thoughtless girl, whose fancy
wits taken by show and glitter more
than by solid qualities.
Luerctia Armstrong's eyes bad been
fixed dreamily on a poor little child who
had been sweeping the pavement, and
whose thin hand was reaching out for a
pittance. Site put the coin into it us
“ I was not looking: but, why do
yon say wasted on a cripple? lias be
no mind or faculties to appreciate his
“ What a girl you are to sateh one tip
so' Of course he has as good an intel
lect as any one, and, by all accounts,
belter than most ; but, having every
thing so elegant makes 1 1 is infirmity the
“ I don’t see why——”
The speaker paused abruptly, for here,
at llit- very book-seller’s whore sin- was
about to enter, a carriage was drawn up,
and a gentleman was alighting from it,
helped by the footman, who gave him
his crutches, upon which he made his
way into the shop.
As ho passed the friends he raised his
hat to Kitty, and smiled pleasantly.
Luerotia’s cheeks were burning at the
thought that they had boon discussing
his infirmities, and sho selected her pa
per in silence and hastened away. As
soon as she was well out of the place she
“ I think that gentleman has the most
interesting face I have over seen. His
eyes are superb—great luminous wells
of thought. I wouldn’t mind going on
crutches to own such a face as that.”
“ Well, ’Croc, you always were an odd
little thing. 1 see you haven’t outlived
your little peculiarities. Have you still
your collection of maimed and exacting
nets ? 1 declare, if it had been any
body hut dear, lovable 'free Armstrong
who had turned herself into a nurse for
animals, we school girls would have cut
you in the old days, I suppose, how
ever, ‘ the child is father of the man,’or
rather (in this ease) woman, and no
doubt you’ve kept up your practices
since 1 loft (lorton.”
Luerctia smiled as her friend rattled
on. hut merely said—
“ 1 see you are the same Kitty—as
much given to exaggeration as ever.
But who is the gentleman? I see yon
“ His name is Bale Bertram. Brother
Charley is very fond of him. although
a mere hoy compared to him. Charlie
has hobbies, you know, and Mr. Bertram
is so learned on nearly everything under
the sun, that, if Charlie gets puzzled,
all ho has to do is to go to his old gen
tleman friend, and he's jail straight in
“ Kitty, how you run on ! If every
one were tike you. poor Mr. Bertram
would be laid nnon the shelf for soeiet v,
” He doesn't care for society, so he'd
he no loser.”
“ IL-’s to be envied for hi- indiffer
ence, then, a- he value- it in its true
Kitty turned and looked at Luerctia.
in a quizzical way. from head to foot.
“ Well, my dear, if I did not see a
pretty, stylish young girl with rny very
own eyes. I should rather say I wa
talking with an aged philosopher, who
had outlived hi- youth. Luerctia"—
this was said with gieat impressive
ness —" you shall have an introduction.
I foresee that Mr. Bertram will be drawn
out of hi# shell,"
“For shame, Kitty.” -aid t’ree. in
dignantly ; *’ I will not he introduced ,
after such a speech. 1 should feel eon-1
scions and uncomfortable after hearing
him made fun of.
MINERAL POINT, WIB., FRIDAY, DECEMBER SB, 1577.
Kilty saw that sho had gone too far.
and tunu'd the subject with ready tact ;
she was a natural tease, ’nit did not like
to see any one in had humor, and in
that way was restrained oftentimes
from wounding hy her mischievous
Several days had passed since the
girls’ conversation, when the object of
it called to see Charlie about the tv
sult of some experiment he had been
A newly-engaged servant answered
All unused to the ways of the family,
instead of conducting the visitor io
Charlie's •* den.’’ as he called it, he was
taken directly to the music-room, where
his young friend was listening to some
Scotch airs which l.ueretia was singing
in her rich contralto voice.
As he paused on the threshold for a
moment, an unobserved listener, she
was throwing her whole soul into the
rendering of “On, wert thou in the
cauld blast !”
Tears were near his eyelids as she
concluded the plaintive little song.
Thoughts long before banished from
a mind which would not he morbid
lot iking resolutely at the blessings vouch
safed, instead of brooding over those de
nied —now came thronging into his mind
with resistless force.
“ Why, oh ! why could not the (front
All-Father have taken my wealth, and
left me an unblemished body? Then I,
too, could have looked forward to a
happy home shared by a loving heart.
Now it is denied me. Lonely and un
cared ior must I go through life!”
Thus fora few moments'regretful ideas
came thick and fast.
But the song was ended, and, with an
effort, he became again his cheerful
self, as, balancing Ids broad shoul
ders on his friendly crutches, he went
Charlie greeted him cordially, and in
troduced him to Miss Armstrong.
She bowed, and rising went immedi
ately from the room.
The recollection of Kitty's remarks
made her sensitive for him, and she
was only too glad to escape from the
scrutiny of the dark eyes she haired
could read her thoughts on her 100 ex
Bertram attributed her departure to a
I dill'ereut reason.
“ Like all others, she wished to avoid
showing her aversion to a cripple,” he
Huring the day at the Lungdons he
formed a habit of calling often, and.
strange to say, never objected to being
drawn by Charlie into the family circle,
although formerly he had prefirred to
have him all to himself, and to avoid
; the ladies of the family.
Several times, upon his entrance, Lu
eretia found an opportunity to leave
upon some ostensible errand ; but, after
a time, she forgot to be nervous about
his visit, and remained an interested
listener to his eloquent and instructive
conversation, and then he learned to
look for tin* swift glow of sympathy
which never failed to brighten the
large grey eyes as the chosen theme
soared to regions accessible only to
those gifted with natures above the
The Langdons lived comfortably and
even elegantly, but could not alford a
One evening, just at sunset, Mr. Ber
tram drove up to the door and asked for
She came to the door and absolutely
danced with pleasure when he invited
her and her friend out for a drive.
It took the girl but a few moments to
put on her wraps osid take their places
in the carriage.
As Mr. Bertram took his seal in front
of them he said to Killy
“I am sorry I never have thought
before that a drive might be enjoyed by
some of my young friends. I have
been very selfish in appearance, 1
fear, but it was in reality owing to
my poor appreciation of my lonely
rides. It never occurred to me that
they could be made endurable by
Time Hew on wings.
Kitty's tongue, a- usual, was iu viva
cious motion ; and Luerctia now and
then chimed in, although her enjoy
ment wav most of the lime too deep
Suddenly from the roadside rushed a
tiny Skye-terrier. evidently thinking his
mission lav at the horses' feet ; but a
shriek and writhing bundle of fur soon
convinced the occupants of the carriage
that it was all a mistake on the puppy's
With a faint cry Kitty put her hand
kerchief to her eyes.
Not so Luerctia.
I’h . Mr. Bertram, have the car
riage stopped. I must see if the poor
little thing is killed,”
‘ Now, < 'ree. none of your old trick-,"
-aid Kitty, petulantly. “ 1 really be
lieve.” turning appealingly to Mr. Ber
tram, " that if you don't interfere, she'll
bring the horrid little thing into the ear
nag. I shall faint, I'm -ure I shall, if
-he does. .She always had a weaknes
for the maimed of creation.”
“Then, Miss Langdon, perhaps your
friend may number me among
proteges. 1 can claim a place- in that
Kitty blushed—a vivid, ounacounta
hle, unbecoming rod.
“I'li. Mr. Bertram, 1 beg your par
don ! I novor onoo thought!"
“ You aro forgiven, Mis* Kilty. In
your various unconsciousness of tload
ing upon dangerous ground lies the ro
ooipt of ouro for vv'iat i- perhaps a mor
bid sensitiveness to my iuliruiilv.
l.neretia bad not board those re
marks. Sbo bad alightod and gone to
the poor littlo viotim of self-eonlidenee.
Taking him up tenderly, she found that
bis injuries were confined to a broken
leg; so with much petting and soothing,
she took her delicate eatnbrie handker
chief and bound up the wounded mem
ber. Coming to the carriage she lifted
up a pleading face.
" May 1 take' him in? See be is
somebody’s pel. hook at his collar. It
is of silver, and his name Fidget is
engraved upon it. Someone is mourn
ing for bis loss. We can advertise to
Of course the little animal was ad
mitted on the prayer of stu b an inter
('sting special pleader, and the party
were soon speeding homewards.
All were strangely quiet, even Killy's
(•battering tongue bad received a sud
den quietus, and Mr. Ilertram was in a
At lasi l.neretia looked up and met
bis eyes lived with a strange tenderness
upon her face.
1 knew yon think me very sillv,
Mr. Bertram, but 1 can’t help it, 1
shonldn t have bad a moment's com
fort for days if 1 bad left that poor little
thing to sutler.’'
No, Miss Armstrong, you are mis
taken about my thoughts.' May 1 call in
the morning and express them to yon
more fully than 1 can do now?”
l.neretia looked at him, but thinking
by his expression that be was quizzing
her, said indifferently
“1 suppose yon wish to classify my
folly by some learned name. Search
the records, by all means, and be
sure to relieve my suspense in tin*
I will most assuredly do so,"
Ibo low, deep voice bad an earnest
ness uncalled tor by the occasion, I ,u
--cretia thought, and then dismissed the
matter from her mind and gave herself
up to the enjoyment of her drive.
According to promise, (be next morn
ing Mr. Bertram called and asked for
Miss Armstrong, and was informed that
l.neretia bad taken her portfolio with
her, and strolled o(f into I'ie park that
lay just behind the residence, and into
which any of the family or their friends
were at liberty to wander w believer they
Here, seated on a small mound, evi
dently lost in thought, be found l.ncre
tirt, and, before she was fairly aware of
bis presence, be bad thrown himself
down at her feel, and pronounced her
She looked tip with a start, and then,
observing that bis face was very pah*,
“ Are yon not well, Mr. Bertram? Can
I do anything for yon ?”
lie gave a sudden start as she spoke,
and bis face lost its pallor in an agitated
rush of color.
‘‘ 'i es, Miss Armstrong, yon can if
you will. Will you forgive me if 1 iihk
you to listen to me while I tell you my
motive in coming here Ibis morning?”
l.neretia, in silent wonder at bis agi
tation, settled herself to listen to what
be might have to say.
“ Miss Armstrong l.neretia yon see
before yon a man who seemed at one
time to have been selected for fortune's
favorite. Wealth, kind friends and
health, joined to an unblemished physi
que, were mine until the accidcnloc
enrred which made me a cripple, I util
very lately I have been contented, not
withstanding my misfortune, although
I bad given up all thought of ever being
other than I am -a lonely bachelor.
Bid I have fallen under anew influence,
that of love, and it rests with yon tosav
whether my future is to be’ banov or
Hit meaning, by this time, began to
dawn upon l.neretia.
iSbe rose abruptly.
“ No, bear me through.”
A- lie spoke be look her blind gently,
-I’lease sit down, and be your own
quiet, kind self until J finish iny story,
even if your heart cannot respond to
the overpowering passion which lill
mine with your sweet image to the ex
clusion of all other thoughts and fil l
ing-. 1 know lam not a fitting lover to
l.neretia put out her band with an
' I>o not say that ! It is not so'
Any girl might be proud of such an
" Then you will -ay ‘ Ye-!’ ” broke in
the eager lover. “ Von will be my
W ife ?”
ft is so sudden, i had not once
thought of yon in that light,” was the
“Tell me truly. Docs this pitiful
lameness lessen my chances of gaining
“ -No ! oh, no !’’ she answered, ear
nestly. “If anything, I should love
>ou better for thinking how much suf
fering you must have gone through be
fore reaching your pre.-rnt state of noble
‘‘l have not been very resigned of
latej: so you must not give me credit
for virtues Ido not possess. But, hie.*#
my misfortune, after what you have
said, and bless Miss Kitty forgiving me
such an insight into my love's tender
little heart! 1 should never have bail
the courage to oiler myself to you. Miss
Luerctia, had 1 not heard that you had
a jkiuLiant for the maimed. On the
strength of that intelligence I spoke.
But von must give me an answer. Is
it * Yes,' or ' No?' "
.bulging from Ins beaming face he
was not ntneli in doubt as to which it
was. But l.ueretia said softly
1 will tell you to-morrow.”
"Well. I must ho content to wait.
on can do me one favor, though, at
once. Hive me one look full into those
-by eyes. 1 have never yet been able
to decide nnon their color. Those white
lids have always had a fancy of hiding
them, when 1 have most wished to rend
their kindly story."
Luerctia (lushed so that her pretty
lace looked like a blush rose; hut she
obeyed Iter lover, and, as she met his
‘ lear, truth-compelling eyes, the know !
edge dawned upon her that she had no
need to wait until the morrow that sho
loved hint with her whole heart.
He road the answer at once in their
shy, timid glance, and, drawing her to
“Thunk Hod for this! His most
precious gift ! Life will he too short to
prove how much I love im darling
girl my promised wife 1“
\u Agreeable (hiesl.
Tlii> longest v that we read of in
modern days was one which l>r, Isaac
Walts made at Lord Ahney’s in (ho Isle
of Might. lie went to spend a tori
night, hut they made him so happy that
he remained a helmed and honored
guest, for Jurlii i/mr*.
Few of ns would care to make so long
a visit as that, hut it might he worth the
while for ns to try and learn the secret
of making ourselves agreeable and wel
come' guests. To have “ a nice time"
when visiting is delightful, hut to leave
behind ns a pleasant impression is worth
a great deal more.
An agreeable guest isa title which any
one may he proud to deserve. A great
many people, with the lies! intentions
and the kindest hearts, never receive it.
shindy because they have never eonsid
i ered th(> subject, and really do not know
how to make their stay in another per
son’s home a pleasure instead of an in
1 convenience. If yon are one of these
| thoughtless ones, you may he sure that,
I although your friends are glad to see
you happy, and may enjoy your visit
‘ on that aeeoiml, your departure will he
; followed with a sigh of relief, as the
I family settle down to (heir usual oeeu
! pillions, glad that the visit is over.
| A great many dillerent qualities and
i habits go to make up the character of
j one people are always glad to set*,
and these last, must he proved while we
' are young, if we expect to wear them
I gracefully. A young person whose
presence in the house is an inconve
nience and a weariness at fifteen, is sel
dom a welcome visitor in after-life.
The two most important characteris
tics of a guest are tael and observation,
and these w ill lead you to notice and do
Just what will give pleasure to your
friends in their dillerent opinions and
ways of living. Apply in its best sense
the maxim “ When you are in Koine,
do as the Romans do."
I nless you have some good reason for
not doing so, let your friends know the
day, and, if possible, (he hour when you
expect to arrive. Surprises are very
well m their way, hut there are few
households in which il is (pule eonve
nieiil to have a friend drop in without
warning for a protracted visit. If they
know that you are coming, they will
have the pleasure of preparing (or yon
and looking forward to your arrival, and
you will not feel that yon are disturbing
any previous arrangements which they
have made for the day.
Let your friends know, if possible,
soon after you arrive, about how long
you mean to say with them, ns they
might not like to ask the question, and
would still find it, convenient to know
whether your visit is to have a duration
of three days or three weeks. Take with
you some work that you have already
begun, or some hook that you are read
ing, that yon may he agreeably employ
ed when your hostess is engaged with
her own affairs, and not he silling about
idle, as it wailing to he entertained,
when her lime is necessarily taken up
with something else. .Make her feel
that, fora small part at least of every
da v, no one needs to have any responsi
hilily about amusing you.
A holy who is charming as a guest
and as a hostess once said to me: “I
never take a nap in the afternoon when
1 am at home, hut I do when I am si
ding, because I know what a relief it
has sometimes been to me to have com
pany lie down for a little while, after
dinner. Simun A. Ilrawn, SI. Sirhulu*
K.sn-as leads every state in the L'nion
in the yield of corn per acre, being l.'Lo
bushels. Little New Hampshire, strange
to say, comes next, with a yield of 42.
Vermont follows with .'!!; Ohio, *W5.7;
Wisconsin, Tl; Indiana, lowa and Ne
braska. dU; Michigan, 20; .Missouri.
27. Minnesota, 25.4; Texas and Illi
nois, 25 each.
A stuttering professor say*, “ The don
star is no star at nil; it is a p p-pup
The Mobile AVyisAv intimates that the
South wants farmers. Somebody to
raise Cain, we suppose.
Never write letters ton widow. She
always takes down the old box and
compares yours with the other mans.
It the coinage of'JO-eenl pieces isn’t
slopped, contribution boxes art' noinn
to sutler 20 cents on the dollar.
\\ bat s a dollar V asks the nqiAtc
It’s just the saint' as gratitude; some
thing of which wr t'\vt' more than we
have,- //an kn/f.
A witness on the stand, in reply to a
t|ucstion to what the character olMr.
was for truth anti veracity, said : “ W ell,
I should say that lit' handles truth verv
tieneral (irar.t has not yet mastered
the vernacular snllicicnl'ly to hold a
polite eonversatioii in French, but he
smokes (Incut)y iu that language.
\ book eauvasst'r, the other day,
talked hall an hour to induce a lady io
buy a book. Then she handed him a
slip of paper, on which was written
" l ine tit'le anti dumb."
There is a Georgia darkey who labors
under the hallucination that his rations
art' brought him every day by an angel.
\\ t' should call that a clear case of men
Ihllerenl count fit's have dillerenl
ways. In Switzerland the donkeys wear
hells on (heir necks. In America they
sit with their legs clear across the aisle
of a street ear. Ihi wit hWf l'irn.
A negro in South Carolina, who was
complaining of the hard times, declared
they were the hardest ever known.
“ Why," said he, " 1 works all day and
steals all night, ami yet I’m blest if 1
kiu make an honest living."
The owner of a pair of bright eyes
says that the prettiest compliment she
ever received was from a child of four
years. The little fellow, after looking
intently at her for a moment, impiircd
naively, " Art' your eyes new ones?"
\ Panbnry young man nearly hank
rupteil himself on visiting (ho daughter
of the owner of a New A ork aquarium
(subsequently discovered to boa (isb
market), Ihmlnm \ .Wave
Tin' w ife of a Texas sheep-raiser has
gone cra/.y over the disappearance of he*
nushand. Blieep-raise night and d,.y
for his return. oVic York (hmmrrcm/.
An e.xehnngt' wants to know how the
Turks happened to learn to light so
well? Why, man, most of the Turkish
odieers have over half-a-do/.en wives.
An observing publican says (hat the
dillerenee between those going in and
those going out of olllee is mainly this :
(bn former are sworn in, and (he latter
go out swearing.
“ Madam, do yon know that yon pos
sess one of the llnest voices in the
world ?" ruiid a saucy fellow to a woman
the other tiny. "Indeed, do yon think
so?" replied she, w ith a llnsb of pride
at the compliment. "I do, most cer
tainty," continued the rascal, “ for if
yon hadn't it would have been worn
out long ago ! "
Bill Shiite was a member of the
Twenty-sixth. While the boys crowded
,iround the old (lag at the recent re
iinion, Kill, with an irrepressible humor,
called on) "Hoys, I am no speaker,
hot there's a blamed sight more of yon
Imre than I ever saw in a light." This
In miidd down the bouse. - I'nniLliu (Ad/.)
Tin'crisis of the battle which forced
from the Iron |)nke the cry for " night
or Kl.nchcr" was paralleled in that
In incinlons moment of the vote on the
New York appointments, when we may
easily imagine the Iron President as
crying out " <)h ! for < 'hristmas or Stan
ley Matthews,” SI. I.oim < lltihr-1 >nuo
11 Mister, will you lend pa your pa
per? lie wants to send it to his uncle
in the country.” "O, certainly; and
a k your father if he'll just lend me the
roof of his house? I only want it to
make the lea kettle boil."
“ I like my mother," said Killy Kliek
ith to his Sunday school teacher, “ like
everything, hut when she makes me set
in the house an' trot the baby all llie
time when a hand organ with a monkey
is overto < Jidaker's, it makes me spunky
an'cross, an' I forgits that it's had to
wish I was an orfnn so's I could skite
away an' git to he a pirate with long
whiskers an' red hoots,"
Mow often, O, how often, a man with
only one solitary button on his shirt,and
that one a brass pin, looks with devour
ing envy upon his wife’s new seven
button kid gloves, and wishes all the
shirts ii. his collection were just one
glove. There does seem to he some
thing wrong in lids division of hut
A wi-i; lit i,iso. The Supreme Court
of Georgia lias decided, in the ease of a
murderer, that "to be too drunk Inform
the intent to kill, be must be too drunk
to form the intent to shoot." This de
cision will not be welcome to those
criminals who steep themselves with
liquor w henever they wish to do some
pa Lard Iy detsj. — New York Hun.
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