lowa County Democrat.
My little wife is mu lieyoud the burn.
I sec her purasel behind the Hr.
And here am 1 inditing verse to her
Kre she return.
That pretty bird is happy there conceal'd.
This fragrant t hatnber smiles a peaceful
What joy to sin.'the joys of home the while
■My Joys a Held!
My spouse is mild—she's meek as any nun.
And yet her spiritual calm is sttch-
Somehow one's always feeling she is nun h
Too good for one.
She thinks I'm wise ami handsome- lis her
I wonder am I either! On my word
Sometimes I've wondered •• an tin honnie
Thinks so indeed.
Terhaps! for she my homage ne'er repels;
Perhaps I might have loved her half a life.
Perhaps- hail site but been the little wife
Of someone else.
Uni why should i complain of cross or cures?
While entertaining her (who won't complain)
It may he I an angel entertain
/'Ac Conihill Mnijtiziiie.
MV WIFE’S NEW Fill EM).
Mrs. Jones has quite a habit of culti
vating new friendships, which have
every appearance of blooming eternally,
but which soon wither in the world's
cold blasts. 1 used to think this char
acteristic was confined to school-girls,
who swear immortal fidelity in letters
crossed and recrossed, but forget each
oilier as soon as they have caught a
My wife's lasi acquisition in the way
of a bosom friend is Mrs. Mortimer
Mowbray, with whom she became ac
quainted last summer, while we were I
hoarding out of town. Mrs. Mortimer
Mowbray had her carriage with her, and
created quite a sensation in fact, every
lady in the house was eager to become '
her confidante; hut the amiable deport-i
mentofMrs. Jones, combined, 1 doubt I
not, with her intellectual accomplish-;
incuts, rendered her the favorite, and |
she it was who daily occupied the spare
seat iu the coach, and had the honor of |
advising Mrs. Mortimer Mowbray in
those thousand grave perplexities under
which women suffer.
\V e returned to the city after thcMow
hrays: but my wife, though usually
very linn on questions of etiquette,
waived her privileges on this occasion,
and made the first call. She was gra
ciously received, and came home in
high spirits. All that evening she could
do nothing but talk of Mrs. Mortimer
Mowbray, “ Such an elegant estab
lishment,” she said. “ A footman,
with manners like a prince, waited at
the door. The drawing room was the
perfection of luxury and taste. Mrs.
Mowbray had on such a sweet cap, and
altogether looked so lady-like. Her
manners were, indeed, most aristo
cratic, just what those of a countess are
supposed to he."
In a few days Mrs. Mortimer Mow
bray returned my wife’s call, coming in
a shining new carriage, and w ith anew
span of horses. Her equipage created
unite a sensation in our street,
Mrs. Jones, soon after this, began to
act as if brooding over some vast de
sign, which not being matured, she
deemed it wisest to he silent respecting.
At last the mighty secret was broached.
“1 was thinking. Jones,” she said,
one night, just as 1 was composing
myself to sleep on my pillow, “that
we ought to give a party. Nut a regu
lar hail, indeed, but a select entertain
ment, where a few congenial minds
may he brought together. I should
like to introduce my dear Mrs. Mow
bray to some of the choicest of our
Now, 1 detest parties, small or large;
but, as the dolicacv of my wife’s nerves
does not allow of her being thwarted, I
made no objection to the proposal
though I sighed to myself.
“Of course, my dear." I said. “You
“Well, about thirty," continued my
w ifi warming with the subject. “There’s
Mrs. Wharton, and Mrs. Horace Shinn,
and Mrs. Price, and the Misses Trelaw
ney,” and thus the dear creature ran on,
until she had mentioned about forty
names, and I saw that her “ select party
of congenial souls " was going to be, after
all, a crowded rout.
“ You have forgotten the two Misses
Howell,” I said at last, when my wife
stopped for want of breath.
The two Misses Howell were amiable,
intelligent, and pretty girl*, in whom I
took particular interest, because their
father had once been an extensive Mop
ping merchant, but, having become re
duced and died bankrupt, the sisters
were obliged to earn a livelihood by
standing in a store. They bad numer
ous rich relations on whom they might
have billeted themselves, hut with a
spirit of proper independence, they
preferred to work for their rnaintenence
instead of eating the bread of charity,
I had long nourished a romantic idea of
-eeing them married well, and had con
sequently made it a point always to
invite them to our parties; to praise
them highly to the young gentlemen
there, and. in every other indirect way.
to assist in realizing my pet scheme.
My wife, heretofore, had seconded
me in my benevolent plan: but on the
present occasion she hesitated to reply,
and I knew at once something was the
“ Atiem I" she -aid at last clearing
MINERAL POINT, WIS.. FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1878.
hot' throat, " Altom ' Tho Missus
Howell are very nice girls. to ho sure —
that is, in their place hut as it is to Ih>
a select party, ami as 1 have already
mentioned rather too many, and as
Mrs. Mowbray may not want to meet
all sorts of people, and as "
"Stop, my dear," said I. with a sigh,
for I saw that my favorites were not to
he invited, "you have goen good rea
sons enough. It is a great pity though."
And I sighed again a sigh eloquent of
My wife heard my sighs, and her ten
der heart was touched. She paused a
moment in embarrassment, and per
haps even revolved the idea of yielding
to my wishes; hut in the end site raised
herself on her elbow ami said:
“ Mr. Jones, do listen to reason.
Yon don't know how foolish you make
yourself about those Howell girls.
They've been unfortunate to he sure,
and they're very passable, indeed: hut
there's a prejudice, yon are aware,
tigains' girls who stand in stores; ami
who knows hut Mrs, Mowbray would
take otlenccat my inviting such persons
to meet her, 1 shouldn’t like to do it.
indeed, without first asking her; and 1
can’t do that this time. She is very
particular, and so excessively high
"Then I don't think she'd regard yon
the less, my dear, " 1 ventured to say.
"for being acquainted with two such
excellent girls as I’attv and l,i//v
“Mr. Jones, don't he a child." re
plied my wife, Hinging herself to the
other side of the bed. "At your age
yon should know something of die
world. Kxelnsive people, like Mrs.
Mowbray, don’t care to meet nohodies.
She was very choice as you saw, whom
she admitted to her acquaintance this
summer; 1 may say, indeed, that lam
the only one, of all she met, whom she
recognizes now. "
To have protracted the conversation
would have < xited my wife’s nerves
and deprived her of sleep, so I said no
more, hut closed my eyes and courted
slumber anew. 1 have no recollection
of anything after that till I woke up
next morning, and leaving Mrs. Jones
aboil, as usual, went down to sec that
the fires were all right and to do the
marketing while breakfast was being
The invitations to the party were is
sued that week. Mrs. Mowbray grac
iously promising to attend.
When the important evening arrived
my w ife was all nerves. At every ring
of the bell the color cost to her face
with expectation, but guest after guest
entered without Mrs, Mowbray appear
ing. Her nervousness soon began to
change to anxiety, and this, ns (he
hours wore on, to disappointment and
dismay. She delayed the supper for a
full hour, thinking that the new friend
might yet arrive, hut in vain.
" What can the matter he?" she said
to me, its soon as we were alone. “ I
hope the dear ha.be is well. Perhaps,
however. Mrs, Mowbray is herself sick.
Dear me, I am afraid 1 shall not sleep
for anxiety. The first thing I'll do to
morrow will he to call on Mrs. Mowbray
and see what is the matter. "
“Wouldn't (hilt lie against etiquette? "
I ventured to ask. “It seems to me
that Mrs, Mowbray should send yon a
note or message, or something of that
sort, to apologize for her absence. "
Mrs. Junes did not reply in words,
hut she gave me a look. And such a
look! It expressed all the indignation
which her outraged bosom fell at ha ving
the slightest suspicion east upon her
When 1 came home to dinner that
day 1 saw at a glance that something
had oeenred to rutile my wife'- nerves.
She had nothing whatever losay tome,
j hot she scolded the servants and ehild
| ren incessantly. I was too wise to en
! quire what was wrong. I knew that
j M is. Jones, if she thought proper, would
I tell me : and if not that idle questions
j wwuld only aggravate her secret
.i the in-xI day, ha\ mg heard some
thing that cast light on Mrs. Mowbray’s
absence from our party, I could not
contain myself when I came home,
“ Did you ever hear, my love,” said
I as I began to carve the turkey at din
ner. “that the Misses Howell had a
Mrs. Jones looked sharply up, as if
she suspected 1 meant more than 1 said,
and than answered laconically :
“ I heard it casually, but never asked
“It seems," I continued, “that Mrs,
Mowbray is that sister. "
“I've heard so since," -aid Mr-.
Jones, sharply ; and turning to our sec
ond child, who was a-kiii" for the wing
bone, rapped him over the head, ex
claiming. “ Haven't I told von to wait
till’you're helped ? Take that, now. and
I allowed a minute or more to < lapse,
in ord-r that my wife's ebullition might
subside, when i remarked :
“ Mrs. Mowbray, it seems, expected
to meet her sisters here. ”
“1 shouldn't wonder if she did,"
snappishly -aid Mrs. Jones, looking
down into her plate, and apparently
absorbed in parting a wing joint.
“When she found," 1 continued.
“ that her sisters were not asked, she!
grew indignant. She heard the reason. |
it scorns. Your friend Mrs, Wha."ton.
whom yon have made a confidante,
told some lady, who told her : and hence
" I'm sure 1 don't care if 1 never set'
the proud thing again, " said mv w ife,
reddening very much, but still without
looking up. "One would not have sup
posed that she was a sister to the Misses
After another pause passed 1 said
Hid yon call on Mrs. Mowbray, as
you intended ? "
Mrs. Jones was silent for a full
minnfe. and seemed half disposed to
decline answering altogether ; Inn finally
she blurted out her reply as follow s
" Yes, 1 did, since you must know.
She was not at home so, at least, the
footman said ; hut if I didn't s,-,. her at
tin' window, " and here she hurst into
tears of mortification and rage. " may
1 never eat another mouthful. "
1 saw it would not do to continue llf
conversation, so 1 quietly ate my din
ner. kissed tin l children, and went my
Ol course the intimacy ofm\ wife
with Mrs. Mowbray ceased from that
fatal party ; and 1 am sorry to my that
the Misses Howell have, as the phrase
goes, "enl onr acquaintance."
I''aumi:i;> in Ireland eon.uler barley
the lu>>i grain crop with wiiieh to sow
grasses; oats next, while wheat is the
least, suitable of the three. In laying I
lan 1 ofgood average quality down to
permanent pasture, the following mix
ture of seed is sown there with a grain
nop Italian rye-grass, ti pounds; per
nntial rye-grass, p potnnls; rock's foot,
and pounds; timothy, I! pounds; rough
stalked meadow grass,,’! pounds; mead
ow fox tail, 'J pounds; eotnmon fesette, ]
I pounds; hard fescue, I pounds; red
clover, I pounds; yellow clover, 1 -
pound; white clover.‘J pounds, ltnn'i\
t 'ai;t; or Stock. Farmers who look
after the comfort of their cattle hut
rarely stiller pecuniary loss by disease
or death. In the stable cleanliness and
ventilation are, with an occasional cur
rying, the important requirements that
promote health, Kxperiiuenls have
proven that cows in milk and old oxen
retain their condition in eonllned and
warm quarters during the winter, while
animals under three years thrive better
in a well ■ hellered yard with shell at
tached, the Moor of which should be
cover'd with dried leives or refuse
straw, which would all’ord them a rest
ing place during the night, (lirniau
toii ii 'Myrii/ili.
tini.Ns' Ivons. ,\s soon as spring
opens, our bees should all be examined
by lifting the frames of each hive, and
if the stocks are weak, the bees are sent
to one side of the hive by means of a
division hoard, so as to keep up the
necessary heal for lirood rearing on as
many combs as they can cover. As
soon as the queen has tilled these
combs with eggs, we spread them apart,
inserting an empty comb between those
occupied with brood, and in a few days'
time the queen will till this one also;
and so we keep on until every available
eel lis occupied with brood. Thus it
will be seen that instead of the queen
lax ing her egg on the outside of the
cluster, she lays them in the center of
the brood-nest, where they should be.
After the hive is full of brood and bees,
it does not make so much diHerence, a
the weather i- warm and bees are plen
ty. so that the queen can deposit her
eggs anywhere in the hive. As soon
as the strongest slocks are full, lake a
frame of lirood just gnawing out and
place it in the weaker ones, giving the
strong one an empty comb for the
queen to till again, and so keep on un
til all are full. -Anirrivnn Hn Jnnriiil,
1, iutv Alli-;.\j>. 10very farmer who
has timber, should get a few logs to the
mill for drag-limber, wagon tongues
and the like. Have them sawed and
piled under cover so that next season,
when work is crowding and a piece of
seasoned timber is needed, you will
know just where the desired article can
he found w ithout being obliged to spend
the whole day in a search for it. Kach
one should have a chest of common
too 1 -, such as are necessary for repair
work on the farm. It is much easier if
we have the materials, to repair a brok
en harrow or other utensil, than to trav
el four or five miles to a shop for the
purpose of hlrinif done what we could
do just as well ourselves. Any article
that are liable to break, had better be
attended to at once, and not laid aside
with “ I guess I can make that last this
sea-on, well enough." It will be sure
to break when you are in a hurry.
There is a world of wisdom in the old
maxim, “ I’rocra-lination i- the thief of
time,” and to no one is thw -o precious
as to the farmer at the busy season.
Ito rut Xen Yorhr.
Th-tixo Mm.k. The h'iliiij* tii XriJnnif
refer- to I)r. Julias Lehmann's new
method of testing milk, a- being at
least an approach to a simple and easi
ly applied form of analysis, so long a
desideratum. A little of the milk to be
tested is diluted with an equal quantity
of water, and poured out in a thin lay
er upon the surface of a poious earth
enware slab of very done grain, The
water, holding in solution the* milk,
sugar, album on, and a part of (he salts,
is at once absorbed by tin'earthenware,
and thus is quickly elVeeted that stage
ot the process ol analysis which oeen
pies a long time when evaporation and
similar means are resorted to. I’hg
whole of the fat and the casein remain
upon Uii> surlaee of the slab in the form
ol a thin skin, and can easily hi' remov
ed with a spatula and dried for exami
nation. I’he amount of fat present can
readily he delermitu and by either process,
and lints the two chief constituents of
the milk are at onee estimated. In
main instances it is quite sntheient to
know the sum ol the chief solid constit
uents. and the proportion of water in
the milk, to form a fair judgment upon
it, and this can he aimed at with ease
in less than two hours. The method
has the further advantage that a great
number ol samples can he operated on
at onee with very little extra trouble.
M ANI'KI'! COK t hit’ll MU'S, \\ ood asiies
are doubtless excellent for orchards,
hut instead of being tail around the
trees they should he spread over the
whole land. Uni where are the ashes
to come from in this region? We have
little or no wood, and of course little or
no ashes. In onr limited experience
we have learned one thing in regard to
orchards as well as fruit trees of every
kind that we have cultivated, and we
believe the principle can be applied
pretty much to every thing that grows
upon the earth, which is. that the an
plication of manure benefits them all.
liroimd occupied with fruit trees
should be manured as llberallv as are
oilier portions of the land used for the
raising of wheat and corn. It is the
neglect to do so. in connection with the
general negligence with which orchards
are treated in many sections, that
makes them unprofitable and to he
come worn out prematurely, And as
to the kind of manure with which or
ehards ought to he treated. While anv
kind, almost without exception, will
prove ot advantage, there is none m
the world to lie compared to stable or
barnyard manure. A liberal applies
lion of this only even third year, w ith
careful priming, scraping and washing
of (he trunks of the trees w ill make a
prodigious change in an orchard. This
top dressing can he applied at any lime
when lh(> ground is not frozen, and it
not bestowed in too heavy lumps so as
to injure the (orchard) grass, will yield
in addition to the fruit a couple of tons
of good \mv. \\ e have known three
full crops of grass to he cut from an
orchard. Uormnnhum Ti'h’ffniph.
" i nln't a-takin’ no Ini<)<* dollars
now." remarked the tramp to a henev
• >1( lit olil lady. “(live ns a greenhaek,
or n itliin ."
Tin Turk lias ceased " dreaming of
llii' hour," and has been suddenly rail
ml out of hrd to hr told that *' his lionr
Thrrr is a woman who works aiming
the Krmirhrr liiiiihrriin'ii, driving logs
down thr river. \nd Mr. Heeehersays,
‘■Hurrah, she doesn't hrlirvr in a mis
rrahlr hr-rallrr I"
Thr Saxon (Ippressor; Saxon Tourist
" I sn|i|iosr (hr Knglish laiv all (hr
pigs that yon wish to sell!'" Irish I’ras
anl They do. Had lin kto ’em, (hr
"Whirr did this hahy romr froin
asked a thrrr-yrnr-old yjiil of (hr niirsr,
wiio was washing thr sijuealing little
stranger, “ W by, from hravrn, of
course." icoliril (lie Illll'M', *• Well, if it
screamed like that thrrr, I don't won
di r lin y sent it oil was the stunning
Thr Nevada man who had seven
homely daughter's, for a hox of cigars
got the (oral editor to publish a minor
that hr was a desperate old miser who
had seven barrels of gold lairinl in hi
cellar, and all his daughters were mar
ried oil in four months from that dale.
Il is when a hoy linds himself, without
any solicitation on hi- part, assigned to
a position between the ruler and his
teacher's knee, that he (eels the imper
ative necessity, or at least the desirabil
ity, of ordering the immediate mobiliza
tion of all his force-.
A loin of mutton was on the table,
and the gentleman opposite took the
eaiverin his hand. ‘Shall I cut it -ad
dlewi-eijiioth he, Von had better
ent it hridlewise," replied hi- neighbor,
“ for then we shall base a chance to get
a hit in onr months."
Not 11 nile the same thing: mnall
child I whose favorite aunt i- '* engaged ")
tirandma, where i- Auntie May'''’
(irandmamma ‘She i- sitting in the
parlor with Captain Herbert, my dear.’’
Small child (after a moment s thought;
-‘‘tirandma, eonldn’t yon go and sit
with Captain Herbert, and Anntii May
come and play with me? I‘unih.
A Vicksburg negro fell from the deck
of a teainhoal, the other day, was
-licked under a coal-barge, came no in
time to catch his breath before he slid
under a raft a mile long, and finally
scrambled ashore down at W’arrentow n,
-even miles below, with the remark,
“X o use try in', ye kaint drown a deep
water Jlaptis’ T
As yet no one can tell whv it is that
the most substantial pair of stairs will
creak and creak like a night shirt on a
clothes imo in the wind, whenever ;i
fellow tries to climb thorn noiselessly
late at night, hut thank goodness thorn
is an average of ton philosophers hon
ovi'iy day, and this darkness will ho dis
polled some litno,- Fulton Timet.
" W hat oahlo nows doos that roiuind
yon *t asked Spilkins yesterday,
pointing to a man oafrying a keg of
lifM across (In' sidewalk. " Hive it up,
said (ho other follow (it's always well to
give up Spilkins’ oounndrnms at the
> 'lavl. No one over guesses 'oml.
"Why," said l.oandor, " it reminds mo
otlireeoein Arms." (Vmmcreiu/ ti/in
lion. John I. Maker raised a great
laugh in the House the other day. In
tin 1 course of a speech he suggested that
some of the mouthers prohahly wanted
logo to Congress. 11 The gentleman
must address (he ehair," interposed
Speaker Long. "It was the chair I had
specially in mind," retorted Mr. Haki
tl.wv item 111 an lu'avl l I lie mnu of my I'lillit
Wlirn I'oml m'ollci'llim* |nenenl him to mi>.
Tin l tiemitlliil liens! Mhti'M \vtiene'ei In- wns rlleil
M nko o' entiling llv h orn Ihr (irenem-e of hr
Mi miHi'hlnoa* genl Mils Ihr Iroivlrst Imnn
I hut rvn- dill Inn II mono lenee till u frit;
Hr i| urn It n rumiiiir nse remit hr won lit alter
Thru hi m r his linn' toils, mill go in n |n>ll moll,
o. lion Ini muntil hark n ! An Inn; hum il luu kri.
Hr unco trlrd tuliiirk II Hint dint In (hr writ
“ W hat is your religion, my friend?
asked a clergyman of a tramp with a
calcium nose. "Me? 1 belong to the
>fcilhiuarian denomination." " Indeed"
1 never heard of that seel. What are
its tenenfs?" earnestly impured the
parson " Why, we believe, ye see,
I hut w e helie ,(• 11 111 1 wall we he
lieve, tout wlmtever he/, happened wn
to he, whether il come to pass or not.
\ voung woman in Toledo, after re
ceiving ten notes in as many hours from
a lover whose addresses she had reject
ed, sat down with fnrv in her eye to
write an answer which should eHeetual
ly pul an end to his love making. Mnt
the errand hey who had brought the
note said, in some trepidation, " If you
please, mum, don't write anything that
will scare him so he won't send any
more notes, 'cause I’m makin' live
cents every trip in this had weather."
The logical capacity is one of the
most heaiitifnl and touching things to
he semi in (he modern small hoy. At
the conclusion of a festival last summer
an excellent teacher, desirous of admin
isieriiiK a trilling moral lesson, hnpitred
of the hoys if they Inul enjoyed the re
past. Willi th<> ingenuous modesty ol
youth they all responded, " Yes, sir."
"Then," asked the exeellent teacher,
"if you had slipped into my garden and
picked those strawberries without my
leave, would they have lasted as good
as now?" Kvery small hoy in that
stained and sticky company shrieked,
" No, sir !" "Why not?" “’Cause,"
said little Thomas, with the cheerful
ness of conscious viilne, “then we
shouldn’t have had sugar ami main
Diogenes In Texas.
Not long since a parly of visitors in
spected the poorhonse, Among the
inmates was a venerable looking old
man. w hose face indicated perfect hap
piness. Ile seemed Si he perfectly con
Said one nf the visitors, " Von seem
In he satisfied with your lot,"
"I am," he replied. “ I have a source
nf consolation that is denied to most
"Ah I" said the visitor, "you look
forward to a blissful future beyond the
" Yes," responded the nld man, “hut
i also find miieli comfort in the proverb
that says one man's loss is another
man's gain. If makes me happy to
think (lull. I never lost, cm nigh to do the
feller that found it mm h good -Sun
iihmiii I ’i/iii ,c.
Theology in the Hull.
Once mi a lime my cousin's child, a
four-year-old hoy, had to “try on” some
garments. 11 is admiring mother, find
mg she had made a had muddle of the
cutting, naturally vented her own irrita
limi on the restive little figure wriggling
under the infliction of “taking in here
and letting out there." It ended in her
giving Ine poor child a slight slinking.
At night, as Ids mother was preparing
him for bed, he said, ‘ 1 was so naughty
I you had to shake me, mamma, didn't
j you,’e,ms* I wouldn’t stun’still when
[you was u-inakio’ my new close, would
I?" Then suddenly, "Hay, mamma,
tell me wind (2nd has to do to the
| naughty little hoys op in heaven that
i won’t stall’ still when he’s a-inakiti of
I ’em ?” Mni liiielon //niifci/n Corres
A Ni.w You,; child drank kerosene
! the otlu r day, and his mother, being ol
’ a saving disposition, ran a wick down
his throat, and used him that night in
stead of a lamp. Albany Ar/jtu, The
child was unite light-headed all night,
and longed for the time " w hen the
wick ’ml cease from troubling." ■/'/<//
Tim Rochester Democrat asks what
a political offense is, anti the Danbury
Newt suggests that taking the drink and
then voting for the other man would
not be a had definition.
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