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lowa County Democrat. t./ VOL. XII. Il.ini) T!MI'S. I'V JOHNSON' .IONKs. O.i! take m<‘, friend. oh! take mo where Hurd times Mono cvercrv. Whoro hroiol and butter grow on iroos Ami satlsagos close In ; White ovsteis dwell rn'miisiant stews, And devilTt rrahs fall mu ; Whore flams feme ready cook'd to ha:. 1 Ami cooks can never pout. O i! take me to some wilderness. Kar. far away from town. Where turkeys roasted nut about. With gravy dripping down: Where people never have to work As some do night and day, Where one can pel just what he wants. Ami nothing have to pay. Oh! take me where no wicked still Of strychnine whiskey's found. Nor w here champagne illls every rill. And Cognac doth abound: But where the most dedeions fruit The eyes have ever seen, Spontaneous rolls Irom mountains down And every hill iee cream. Oh! lake me to ihe land of peace. Where never comes a dun. Where people never go to law. And lawyers never come ; Where crops are good and nevt r fail. And each one pets his share. Where one may i at and drink, and sleet Without au anxious care. Oh! taka me, do, where all tin* folks (tel plenty clothes to wear; Where fashions never change, and pants Ho never burst nor tear: Where satins, silks, ami bonnets all. May have a full Slippy ; Where children are obedient, And babies never cry. Take me where wives pood humor'd pro, And gossips never talk. And parsons less by preaching judg'd Than hv their daily walk: Where doctors’ charges are nnknew n ; Where none grow pray anil old; Where chills and fevers trouble not. And quinine is not sold. Oh! lake me. for I'm awful sick. Kar. far front bunks uvvuv. Where ne'er another note I'll pi\ ■, Or have a hill to pay ; Oh! take me to some wilderness. Where all those things are found , Oh! take me. lake the quickly, lor I’m almost run aground. MISS LAWSON'S MONEY. “Clark, there’s been a robbery at 81 ( . street,” said in v chief, one morn ing in June, 187'-’, as I entered the oflice. •• 1 want you to go there and see ahout it at once. There’s a reward of SIOOO olfered.” Of course i lost no time in starting foi st (i . street, which I found to he an unpretentious looking little cottage, standing in the midst of quite a large and uncultivated garden. I was shown into the parlor, and a minute later was joined by a short, stout, elderly lady, who introduced hers. If an follows: “ Mr, Clark, the detective, 1 presume. I am Miss Harriet Lawson, the owner of (hehouse, ami the person who sent,for you. Suppose vo proceed to business at once.” I signified that such was my desire, and the old lady proceeded in her abrupt manner: “Of course yon want to know all lean tell yon about the robbery. Well, it is not much that I know—it’sall a mystery to me. Yesterday afternoon I drew the sum of six thousand dollars from the savings hank. I locked it up in my safe, and when 1 went to get it this morning, for the pnrpase of paying a note which fell due to-day, it was gone. That’s all I know about it.” “ What sort of a safe have yon got?” I asked. “ You can see for yourself,” replied the lady. “ Step this way.” 1 followed her to an apartment on the floor above. “ That is my room,” she said, as she opened the door, “and there is my stile in the corner.” “It has a natont combination lock,” I said, “and hears no marks of vio lence.” “Just so.' interposed Miss Lawson, “ and that's what puzzles me. Last night I set the lock at anew combination,and 1 slept in that bed, right in sight of the safe all night, with the key under my pillow, I am a very light sleeper, and I don’t see how any one could have possi bly removed the key and opened the Safe without awakening me.” “ Lid any one beside yourself know the combination ?” " No; Imi—well, I hate to confess I was such a fool—hut the truth is, 1 was afraid 1 might forget the combination, and so 1 wiote il on a slip of paper, which 1 put in my top bureau drawer.” “ Unfortunate. Well, Miss Law-on, who lives in the house besides vonrself?" 1 asked. '1 he old lady looked me -teadily in the eye. “ Nobody in the house took the mon ey. 1 will allow such an idea to enter my head." “ That is not answer to my question, Miss Lawson.” “ Air. Clark,” said the old lady, “ hut two persons besides myself slept in the house last night. They are My serv ants, Barbara, and my companion, Miss Alice Trafton. Neither of them knows anything of the matter.” “titill I would like to examine both,” 1 peristed. “ I will not allow it!” exclaimed the old lady, angrily. “Barbara Heath is an old, trusted servant, whom 1 have had for many years, and Alice Trafton is the daughter of a dear, deceased friend, has been my companion fur two years past, and will be rny heiress. They are both above suspicion. I will not permit you to question either of them.” MINERAL POINT, \VIB., FRIDAY, APRIL 1878. "Then, nuulame, 1 throw up tho ease. 1 will hiil yotrgood morning.” "Stop:” >he otied, as 1 was leaving ihu room. “ what do yon moan?" " 1 must conduct tin oa o in my o\\ n way. or not at all." Miss Lawson rotlootod. " 1 suppose you must have your way." siio said, " hut do not lot either of thorn think they atv snspoetod for a momont. If yon will stop down to tho parlor 1 will oa 11 thorn." Two minutes later Miss Alioo Traflon and tho servant, Barbara, stood in my presence. The former was, without ex ception, tho most bountiful girl I had ovor seen—a blonde, with a wealth of shining, golden hair, and a pair of glori ous blue eyes that sent an electric thrill through my frame as 1 looked into them. Her companion was a tall ang ular, middle-aged woman, who stared at mo with manifest displeasure. 1 first questioned the servant, who answered my inquires with great promptness. She hoard no noise dur ing the night, and knew nothing of the affair except what Miss Lawson told her that morning. This was her testi mony, after hearing whieh I dismissed her, ami turned my attention to Miss Trafton. who seemed to he laboring un der great embarrassment. Tho color came and went on her beautiful face as 1 questioned her, and several times she seemed on the point of bursting into tears. Presently 1 asked her; " You were in the house all night, were you not. Miss Traflon?" After a moment’s hesitation, she an-' swered in an almost inaudible lone of; voice: “ 1 was not, sir?’! “Why. Alice, exclaimed Miss Law son, starting hr her feel, what do von mean?” “ 1 will not attempt to deceive you," said the young girl; " I was absent from the liuu.se between the hours of ten and twelve o’clock.” “After 1 supposed yon were abed and asleep! After 1 was abed and asleep my self!” exclaimed the old lady. “ Where were you?” “That," said Miss Trafton. " I cannot tell yon,aunt." “Cannot tell me!” gasped Mis.-, Law son. “ And yon will not tell me?” 1 asked. No, sir:" was the gentle but firm re ply. “That will do, Miss Trafton," 1 said. “ Von may go." When she was gone, I turned to Miss Lawson and asked; “Was Mi-s Trafton aware of that memorandum in your bureau drawer-?” “ Yes, -ir, siie was,” replied the old lady; " hut do not, 1 beg of yon, think of suspecting her. She is incapable of such a crime. Rest assured sin- has some good reason for refusing to tell me where she was last night—some reason which she will divulge to me when we are alone.” 1 made no reply, but as 1 anise to take my leave 1 said: “ I will commence work at once, and will communicate with yon immediate ly when 1 succeed in making any dis covery.” “No matter what your suspicions may he, promise me that you will not let Miss Trafton know them until yon are absolutely certain of her guilt,” pleaded Mis- Lawson. “She shall suspect nothing if 1 can help it,” 1 said. All that day, while 1 was at work on the ease, Miss Traflon’s beautiful face haunted me. Do what I would. I could not drive the thought of her from my mind. In all my life 1 had never seen a woman to whom I felt so strongly at tracted. But 1 resolutely steeled my heart against the softening influence of her lovely face, and determined not to let it stand between me and the consci entious performance of my duty as an otlicer. Three days passed, and on the after noon of the third day, as I sal in my of fice summing up the results of my in vestigations, who should rush in hut Miss Lawson. “ Mr. Clark," >1 said, dropping into a chair and beginning to fan herself violently, “ J could not wait for you any longer, so here J am. Have you dis covered anything?” “ Yes, madam,” 1 replied. “ I have discovered where Miss Trafton went he tween the hours of eleven and twelve that night. She has not told you yet, i presume?” “No, sir; despite my pleadings, nay, my commands, she has refused to tell me. Where did she go ?” “Bho went to tiie corner of Broad way and Eighteenth street, where she met a man to whom, under the light of a street lamp, she paid a sum of mon ey.” “ Good heavens! are you certain of this ?” “ I have it from the lips of an eye witness." “ And who was the man 1” “ I don't know. Miss Lawson. That’s what I am trying to find out.” ■“ Have you a description of him?” “A rather vague one. He was de scribed to me as tall, dim, and wearing a black moustache. Have you any idea who it was ? ’ ‘ Not the -lightest. Oh, this is terri ble ! Mr. Clark, J would have staked rny life on the virtue and integrity of that girl. And even flow I will not he- lieve her guilty. Perhaps she can ex plain it all. But, sir, 1 have news for yon. I’ve had more money stolen." " More, madam? When* 5 " "Two hundred dollars last night, and the same amount the right before. Both sinus were taken as before, from my safe. Now. Mr. Clark. 1 have a proposition to make to yon, i want you to keep watch on toy house to night. At eight o’clock tins evening 1 will send both A Hot and Barbara out npon errant', and while they are gone yon can come, i will conceal yon in the spare room, which is directly op posite my apartment. Von can sit there in the dark, unseen and unsus pected, and watch, and I am confident that your vigilance will he rewarded by some discovery of importance.” Al the appointed hour that evening I presented myself at Miss Lawson’s cot tage. I was at once ushered into the spare room. At nine o'clock Miss Traf ton and the servant returned. Half an hour later the entire household was in bed. riu> place was still as iloaih as 1 sat there, a dark lantern lay my side, watch ing ami waiting. Tin 1 clock struck ten, ami 1 had seen ur heard nothing to ex cite my siispieii ns. At eleven my waleli was still unrewarded. I had hut little faith in anydesirahle result from my vigil, and linked forward to the long, dreary night which was before me with anything hut pleasurable emotions, lint. 1 was destined to he happily disappointed As the half hour utter i leven struck I heard a slight noise, and a moment later Miss Lawson’s.door opened and the old lady appeared a loose wrapper thrown over her. a lamp in her hand. Her eyes wore a strange meaningless stare. She did not, as 1 at first expect ed, enter my room, hut proceeded with noiseless thread along tin passage way. Instantly, a suspicion of tie truth enter ed my mind, and I arose and follow ed her. j She went down to toe lower floor, i then turned n to a passage-way, walked tin* whole length of that, opent and a door ! and descended a flight of stairs into tin I cellar. Arrived at this apartment, she i proceeded to one corner where a mini i her of boxes mid barrels were stored, ami knelt upon the ground. She then drew from her pocket a roll of hills, which sin* placed in one of the boxes, Tin ti. rising to her fed, she begun to retract' her steps. Of course the rentier understands by this time as clearly as I then under stood, that Miss Lawson was a somnam bulist. As she readied the foot of the cel lar stairs, I stepped forward ami awoke her. Fora few moments she seemed at a loss to comprehend her position, then, as she gradually recovered the use of her faculties, she said; “Why! liuvi I been walking in my sleep again ? I thought 1 was cured of dial trick long ago.” *'That's just what you've been doing, madam,” 1 said. “ But don't go up stairs yet. Look here,” and I stepped to the corner, where she had knelt, drew forth the box and displayed the contents before her. “ Why hero is every penny of the missing money!” she exclaimed. |" How came it here?" i “ Vmi pul it there, Miss Lawson. Von have been robbing yourself all this time.” For a moment the old lady stood transfixed, then she cried: “ Exactly ! I see it all now!” I have been so worried about the safety of my money (bat the idea lias prayed upon my mind whiles i slept, and tins is the result. Well, thank heaven it is all ex ! plained now. 1 knew Alice could not 1 have had anything to do with it. And ■ now slie must explain about that man. i I'll have her tin an once and make her tell me all about it. I cannot sleep i until 1 know all.” Despite my remonstrances, Miss ; Lawson rushed upstairs and knocked at Miss Traflon’s door, crying; "Alice Alice, put on your wrapper 'and come out here at once. I want to i see you.” In a moment, aunt,” said the won derful voice of the young girl. J would have withdrawn, but Miss Lawson bade me remain. *' I want you to be convinced, as I am certain you will lie when the truth is known, of my poor Alice’s innocence,” she said. In less than a minute MissTrafton emerged from her room, wearing a loose cashmere wrapper, and looking more beautiful than ever. In a few moments Miss Lawson ex plained the situation loiter, and tinn asked; ■‘•Now, Alice, who was that man you met that night ?” “I would gladly have kept the truth from you, dear aunt,” said the young girl, tier voice trembling with emotion; “but as you know so much now. it is better I should tell you all. When, at the death of my mother, you rescued me from poverty and misery, and gave me a home in your house, I did not tell you that-1 had a brother who had gone astray —who was even then an inmate of the state prison. You were so good yourself, and your ideas on such mat ters were so strict, that I thought it heat h> keep this a secret, ihit 1 have from time to time secretly communicated with my brother, ami last week. upon his release from prison, 1 had an inter view with him, at whieh he told me, to my honor, that another warrant was Kin for his arrest on a charge of whieh he swore he was innocent. He begged ot me to raise him some money so that he could leave the country, and begin life amw in a foreign land. 1 hud saved nearly three hundred dollars front your generous allowance, dear aunt, and this 1 promised to give him. 1 did give il to him on the night that your money dis appeared. lie was the man that I met on the corner of Kighteenth street and Broadway, lie is now faraway from New York. Now yon know my secret Can yon forgive me?" For answer, the old lady clasped Alice to her breast. Mow I envied her! 1 now took my departure, first receiving a cordial imitation from the old lady to call again. 1 did call again, and well, Alice nul 1 were married six months from that night. California's Climate. from Hen.! . !>'. Taylor's " IMwis'ii tlio times ■ The climate of the coast stimulates men and women like wine. It gives them courage that, is not I hitch hot weather, ami eonlidettee that is not eon ceil hut intoxication It quickens the pulse and the step and the hrain. It sends them wild for pleasurable excite ntenl. It strengthens tin* passions. It keeps everybody imder whip am! spur. It makes him impatient ol patience. Von live ten years in live, ami it is scored against yon. It is a debt with inevitable payment. \ man who has not attained his mental growth can come here and shoot up for ten years like a rocket. 1 hit alas, when he eonum down, it is sudden, abrupt, like the "stick." A man who has reached his law of 11 mi hit ion can migrate to Cali for ma, ami Hash up brilliantly a little lon ger. Hoys ami girls are horn w ith percus sion caps on. Touch them and they exnlode. They ripin early, in ibis sun and tonic air, into manhood and wo manhood. Von can see mothers of 11, ami see no marvel. About HI,0(H) pu pils are enrolled in the fifty six public schools of San I'Taneiseu, and 7,000 m the I'jn private si bools and colleges. It is about na ihllienll to govern the young human California, animal as u is to catch up a globule of quicksilver from a marble table with a llttintb and tin gcr. Is il a hoy 7 Hr shouts, rims, leaps, struggles, just as his poise heals because he cannot stop il. He lias opinions, I bough bis heard is a peachv down, lie is us positive as a trip-ham liter. Is it a girl? She is as volatile as cologne, her voice is jovons, her step a dancer's* bet* laugh contagions. She is as dashing as a yacht in a while cap breeze. lie Lais His First Ulnte-Fisli. I rum lli'lgrnvlii. The strong point of (he American lisli market is undoubtedly to he found in the fresh-water species from its great lakes and rivers. Besides our well known Kuropean kinds, salmon, (rout, sturgeon, perch, etc., which are cheap, abundant ami well flavored, the western continent boasts some Hue njwi'itilih'.i of its own. Among these, the while-fish of Hie St. Lawrence water chain claims tin' first rank. Mrs. Jameson declares that to taste it amply repays the voy age across the Atlantic, ami though I belong rather lo the skeptical than to llic enthusiastic school of epicures, I am almost, inclined to bai l up her opinion. I shall never forget, my first wliile-lish. I had set out from New Vork for Niagara Jy a night train, and having fallen into son.id slumber al A1 hany in a comfortable sleeping-car, I did not awake till westoppod for break fast at Rochester, near Lake Ontario, at ;i o’clock nextmorning. Rising hastily, fresh as a daisy after my good night’s rest, I found myself seated before a-cup of steaming codec, a plate of hot cakes, and a hroilwd fish which had been swim ming unsuspectingly in the lake at I o'clock that morning. The feelings of a true epicure who lights upon anew delicacy of the first order are indescrib able. White-fish is a sort of idealized mackerel, with a tinge of elln rial sal mon flavor; rich, without greasiness; full, without slronguess, and delicate without insipidity. J ate it, with unflag ging appetite, every morning that 1 re mained along the whole great chain of lakes and rivers, from Chicago to the Saguenay, and every morning 1 thought it, rather belter than the last. If I could only succeed in acclimatizing it in our Scottish locks -where il still lin gered with historical times, and lived freely during the late geological epochs 1 should feel (as prefaces always say) that my work was not quite in vain. A HOtWB in Hoston, dealing largely in woolen good*, has been ho often cheated by fabric* professing to be all wool and found to contain a large admixture of cotton, that it now submits all speci men*, before purchasing, to a chemical test, by which the wool and the cotton, if the latter be present, are separated and the fraud made evident. It is dif ficult to discover the cheat by ordinary inspection. The cotton and wool are mixed and carded together before being spun into yarn. Humor. \ St, I.tmis woman "died without medieal assistance." \N i' frequently think of Montgomery Hlair ms m sort ot Ijieely motor. liujiliL) Krpn'sv. Our colored friends huvo lumlly got thru - At 11 tights vot; meanwhile they by low ami lo op .lark. Iho Now Orleans /mus has the fob ■ low ing sensible and pithy sermon for Umsiana " Haiti loss hell ami more sugar." When a \ irginia gentleman asks another to drink,he blandly savs, "Shall wo give tin* ptthlio debt a lift?" And they lid. A person being askoil why ho had yiv on his daughter in marriage to a man with whom ho was at enmity, answer ed: " 1 did it out of pure revenge." A butter oonvontion was hold in In dianapolis hist summer, hut it soon incited away. The looal papers re marked that the members all "spread themselves." There are only 000 shades of blue. W e sometimes feel as thoueh there won' twice as many. Tumn'.i l ii//.s t!i •/ toiif r. I.ring about a polilieiau never hurls the man lied about; it is having the truth (old that kills him. A • (h/inns I'iivi/inif'. Snnu i in' mnidcii nml her l*n .m Will i nil innrs o'i'i lln> pill': Xml Ini' ll in lln> Imljit *kliml.*li lii ilin Inti'll up. hi lilk jilnln. It is mi ill of ilu' (Ideago hanks lluil thirteen out of eighteen inv opposed to silver. Silver is too luilky to run away Midi. No one e;m belter appreciate the fuel tlml the worlil is full of hollow mocker ies Ilian die man w ho prepares a leelure with tin’title "I low totfpt Kieb,” ami then can not make enough by it to pay his hotel hills. The Mnglish language is inmlei|iin(e to express the forlorn feelings of the hoy who thinks he has stolen a dime hovel, and finds it (o he a eook hook. One of (he most trying positions in life is to stand outside a circus and hear die applause going on under the tent. Few there are who ean endure it, A Florida negro mistook a mule for a ghost and poked if with a slink, The verdict recited that lieeanieto Ins death hy using too short a stlek in prolong the unknowable lor evidence of a future existence. IFomsfer I'm*. A Mississippi Judge was Just saying that no one hut a coward would carry a nistol, when his own fell Jroin his pocket and was discharged, and the hul *et hit a lawyer in the leg. A I roil I'm I‘ri'M. The linin’i iir fears dial Keeley is nn kind to his family. At least, the other day, one of the neighbors found Mrs. Keeley weeping, and on asking what appeared to lie the (rouble with her, she said that “ Keely Minute her,” lie fore lloslon goes entirely crazy over that female burlier, she might to pause a little between beans and rumi nate upon the trouble Samson got into by letting a. woman cut his hflir.-- fVa linmiti Hrmkjnd Tahir, A fop look a seat in a railroad ear beside a young lady, but on perceiving she had a. dog be moved oil' with an air of trepidation. " |)u’t be afraid,” sin said, w ith an assuring lone; “.lip won't bite you be doesn't like veal.” . A beauty who went to be pliotograped at a sea-side resort,after taking her Meat in the chair of torture was thus ad dressed by (be insinuating operator " Now, Miss, you look at me as if I wis your young man, and you'd met no unexpected,” A lady bearing one of In r negro ser vants express a w i*h to learn how to read, otlered to teach him. Flow pro gress, however, was made, owing to bis stupidity and inattention. Re proaching him one day with the fact that be was la/.y and would not study, bo said: “Well, Missus, I toll yo’ no Irufe; all I care I.) know bow to read is do I tilde, do newspaper and de alma nac; so you see I ain't ho 'liclar 'bout study in’ as ef I wanted to read eliery thin’," -Ainlinin (' Hiizintr. Avvn I, example that of Tweed’s, [fo stole some $20,000,000, enriched his family and friends, gratified every taste or whim he over knew, and died in a prison cell that he was able to pay s7i> a week for, and where ho played draw poker with nis visitors up to 10 p.m. nightly, while waiting to be pardoned out. tad bis frightful fate deter all who red of it from following Ids bad ex ample. Jt is really quite too awful, y’know. Jn preparation for the nmiivenuirioa the j'rfjtt charitable societies arc iwm* inir statements of their receipt* and ex penditures, The Presbyterian f reign hoard has received for eleven month# of the fiscal years3l 1,805; for tin* same period of 1877 the receipts were $300,- 201, allowing a falling ill' of $54,300. The Methodist Episcopal Missionary Society has still a debt of $170,000, which is a reduction of $03,000, The managers expect to discharge the whole in a few years more. ISO. 37.