lowa County Democrat.
I'V JOHNSON' .IONKs.
O.i! take m<‘, friend. oh! take mo where
Hurd times Mono cvercrv.
Whoro hroiol and butter grow on iroos
Ami satlsagos close In ;
White ovsteis dwell rn'miisiant stews,
And devilTt rrahs fall mu ;
Whore flams feme ready cook'd to ha:. 1
Ami cooks can never pout.
O i! take me to some wilderness.
Kar. far away from town.
Where turkeys roasted nut about.
With gravy dripping down:
Where people never have to work
As some do night and day,
Where one can pel just what he wants.
Ami nothing have to pay.
Oh! take me where no wicked still
Of strychnine whiskey's found.
Nor w here champagne illls every rill.
And Cognac doth abound:
But where the most dedeions fruit
The eyes have ever seen,
Spontaneous rolls Irom mountains down
And every hill iee cream.
Oh! lake me to ihe land of peace.
Where never comes a dun.
Where people never go to law.
And lawyers never come ;
Where crops are good and nevt r fail.
And each one pets his share.
Where one may i at and drink, and sleet
Without au anxious care.
Oh! taka me, do, where all tin* folks
(tel plenty clothes to wear;
Where fashions never change, and pants
Ho never burst nor tear:
Where satins, silks, ami bonnets all.
May have a full Slippy ;
Where children are obedient,
And babies never cry.
Take me where wives pood humor'd pro,
And gossips never talk.
And parsons less by preaching judg'd
Than hv their daily walk:
Where doctors’ charges are nnknew n ;
Where none grow pray anil old;
Where chills and fevers trouble not.
And quinine is not sold.
Oh! lake me. for I'm awful sick.
Kar. far front bunks uvvuv.
Where ne'er another note I'll pi\ ■,
Or have a hill to pay ;
Oh! take me to some wilderness.
Where all those things are found ,
Oh! take me. lake the quickly, lor
I’m almost run aground.
MISS LAWSON'S MONEY.
“Clark, there’s been a robbery at 81
( . street,” said in v chief, one morn
ing in June, 187'-’, as I entered the oflice.
•• 1 want you to go there and see ahout
it at once. There’s a reward of SIOOO
Of course i lost no time in starting foi
st (i . street, which I found to he an
unpretentious looking little cottage,
standing in the midst of quite a large
and uncultivated garden. I was shown
into the parlor, and a minute later was
joined by a short, stout, elderly lady,
who introduced hers. If an follows:
“ Mr, Clark, the detective, 1 presume.
I am Miss Harriet Lawson, the owner of
(hehouse, ami the person who sent,for
you. Suppose vo proceed to business
I signified that such was my desire,
and the old lady proceeded in her abrupt
“Of course yon want to know all lean
tell yon about the robbery. Well, it is
not much that I know—it’sall a mystery
to me. Yesterday afternoon I drew the
sum of six thousand dollars from the
savings hank. I locked it up in my
safe, and when 1 went to get it this
morning, for the pnrpase of paying a
note which fell due to-day, it was gone.
That’s all I know about it.”
“ What sort of a safe have yon got?”
“ You can see for yourself,” replied
the lady. “ Step this way.”
1 followed her to an apartment on the
“ That is my room,” she said, as she
opened the door, “and there is my stile
in the corner.”
“It has a natont combination lock,”
I said, “and hears no marks of vio
“Just so.' interposed Miss Lawson,
“ and that's what puzzles me. Last night
I set the lock at anew combination,and
1 slept in that bed, right in sight of the
safe all night, with the key under my
pillow, I am a very light sleeper, and I
don’t see how any one could have possi
bly removed the key and opened the
Safe without awakening me.”
“ Lid any one beside yourself know
the combination ?”
" No; Imi—well, I hate to confess I
was such a fool—hut the truth is, 1 was
afraid 1 might forget the combination,
and so 1 wiote il on a slip of paper,
which 1 put in my top bureau drawer.”
“ Unfortunate. Well, Miss Law-on,
who lives in the house besides vonrself?"
'1 he old lady looked me -teadily in
“ Nobody in the house took the mon
ey. 1 will allow such an idea to enter
“ That is not answer to my question,
“ Air. Clark,” said the old lady, “ hut
two persons besides myself slept in the
house last night. They are My serv
ants, Barbara, and my companion, Miss
Alice Trafton. Neither of them knows
anything of the matter.”
“titill I would like to examine both,”
“ I will not allow it!” exclaimed the
old lady, angrily. “Barbara Heath is
an old, trusted servant, whom 1 have
had for many years, and Alice Trafton
is the daughter of a dear, deceased
friend, has been my companion fur two
years past, and will be rny heiress.
They are both above suspicion. I will
not permit you to question either of
MINERAL POINT, \VIB., FRIDAY, APRIL 1878.
"Then, nuulame, 1 throw up tho
ease. 1 will hiil yotrgood morning.”
"Stop:” >he otied, as 1 was leaving
ihu room. “ what do yon moan?"
" 1 must conduct tin oa o in my o\\ n
way. or not at all."
Miss Lawson rotlootod.
" 1 suppose you must have your
way." siio said, " hut do not lot either of
thorn think they atv snspoetod
for a momont. If yon will stop down
to tho parlor 1 will oa 11 thorn."
Two minutes later Miss Alioo Traflon
and tho servant, Barbara, stood in my
presence. The former was, without ex
ception, tho most bountiful girl I had
ovor seen—a blonde, with a wealth of
shining, golden hair, and a pair of glori
ous blue eyes that sent an electric thrill
through my frame as 1 looked into
them. Her companion was a tall ang
ular, middle-aged woman, who stared
at mo with manifest displeasure.
1 first questioned the servant, who
answered my inquires with great
promptness. She hoard no noise dur
ing the night, and knew nothing of the
affair except what Miss Lawson told
her that morning. This was her testi
mony, after hearing whieh I dismissed
her, ami turned my attention to Miss
Trafton. who seemed to he laboring un
der great embarrassment. Tho color
came and went on her beautiful face as
1 questioned her, and several times she
seemed on the point of bursting into
tears. Presently 1 asked her;
" You were in the house all night,
were you not. Miss Traflon?"
After a moment’s hesitation, she an-'
swered in an almost inaudible lone of;
“ 1 was not, sir?’!
“Why. Alice, exclaimed Miss Law
son, starting hr her feel, what do von
“ 1 will not attempt to deceive you,"
said the young girl; " I was absent from
the liuu.se between the hours of ten and
“After 1 supposed yon were abed and
asleep! After 1 was abed and asleep my
self!” exclaimed the old lady. “ Where
“That," said Miss Trafton. " I cannot
“Cannot tell me!” gasped Mis.-, Law
“ And yon will not tell me?” 1 asked.
No, sir:" was the gentle but firm re
“That will do, Miss Trafton," 1 said.
“ Von may go."
When she was gone, I turned to Miss
Lawson and asked;
“Was Mi-s Trafton aware of that
memorandum in your bureau drawer-?”
“ Yes, -ir, siie was,” replied the old
lady; " hut do not, 1 beg of yon, think
of suspecting her. She is incapable of
such a crime. Rest assured sin- has
some good reason for refusing to tell
me where she was last night—some
reason which she will divulge to me
when we are alone.”
1 made no reply, but as 1 anise to take
my leave 1 said:
“ I will commence work at once, and
will communicate with yon immediate
ly when 1 succeed in making any dis
“No matter what your suspicions
may he, promise me that you will not
let Miss Trafton know them until yon
are absolutely certain of her guilt,”
pleaded Mis- Lawson.
“She shall suspect nothing if 1 can
help it,” 1 said.
All that day, while 1 was at work on
the ease, Miss Traflon’s beautiful face
haunted me. Do what I would. I could
not drive the thought of her from my
mind. In all my life 1 had never seen
a woman to whom I felt so strongly at
tracted. But 1 resolutely steeled my
heart against the softening influence of
her lovely face, and determined not to
let it stand between me and the consci
entious performance of my duty as an
Three days passed, and on the after
noon of the third day, as I sal in my of
fice summing up the results of my in
vestigations, who should rush in hut
“ Mr. Clark," >1 said, dropping into
a chair and beginning to fan herself
violently, “ J could not wait for you any
longer, so here J am. Have you dis
“ Yes, madam,” 1 replied. “ I have
discovered where Miss Trafton went he
tween the hours of eleven and twelve
that night. She has not told you yet, i
“No, sir; despite my pleadings, nay,
my commands, she has refused to tell
me. Where did she go ?”
“Bho went to tiie corner of Broad
way and Eighteenth street, where she
met a man to whom, under the light of
a street lamp, she paid a sum of mon
“ Good heavens! are you certain of
“ I have it from the lips of an eye
“ And who was the man 1”
“ I don't know. Miss Lawson. That’s
what I am trying to find out.”
■“ Have you a description of him?”
“A rather vague one. He was de
scribed to me as tall, dim, and wearing
a black moustache. Have you any
idea who it was ? ’
‘ Not the -lightest. Oh, this is terri
ble ! Mr. Clark, J would have staked
rny life on the virtue and integrity of
that girl. And even flow I will not he-
lieve her guilty. Perhaps she can ex
plain it all. But, sir, 1 have news for
yon. I’ve had more money stolen."
" More, madam? When* 5 "
"Two hundred dollars last night, and
the same amount the right before.
Both sinus were taken as before, from
my safe. Now. Mr. Clark. 1 have a
proposition to make to yon, i want
you to keep watch on toy house to
night. At eight o’clock tins evening 1
will send both A Hot and Barbara out
npon errant', and while they are gone
yon can come, i will conceal yon in
the spare room, which is directly op
posite my apartment. Von can sit
there in the dark, unseen and unsus
pected, and watch, and I am confident
that your vigilance will he rewarded by
some discovery of importance.”
Al the appointed hour that evening I
presented myself at Miss Lawson’s cot
tage. I was at once ushered into the
spare room. At nine o'clock Miss Traf
ton and the servant returned. Half an
hour later the entire household was in
riu> place was still as iloaih as 1 sat
there, a dark lantern lay my side, watch
ing ami waiting. Tin 1 clock struck ten,
ami 1 had seen ur heard nothing to ex
cite my siispieii ns. At eleven my
waleli was still unrewarded. I had hut
little faith in anydesirahle result from
my vigil, and linked forward to the
long, dreary night which was before
me with anything hut pleasurable
emotions, lint. 1 was destined to he
happily disappointed As the half
hour utter i leven struck I heard a
slight noise, and a moment later Miss
Lawson’s.door opened and the old lady
appeared a loose wrapper thrown over
her. a lamp in her hand.
Her eyes wore a strange meaningless
stare. She did not, as 1 at first expect
ed, enter my room, hut proceeded with
noiseless thread along tin passage way.
Instantly, a suspicion of tie truth enter
ed my mind, and I arose and follow ed
j She went down to toe lower floor,
i then turned n to a passage-way, walked
tin* whole length of that, opent and a door
! and descended a flight of stairs into tin
I cellar. Arrived at this apartment, she
i proceeded to one corner where a mini
i her of boxes mid barrels were stored,
ami knelt upon the ground. She then
drew from her pocket a roll of hills,
which sin* placed in one of the boxes,
Tin ti. rising to her fed, she begun to
retract' her steps.
Of course the rentier understands by
this time as clearly as I then under
stood, that Miss Lawson was a somnam
As she readied the foot of the cel
lar stairs, I stepped forward ami awoke
her. Fora few moments she seemed
at a loss to comprehend her position,
then, as she gradually recovered the
use of her faculties, she said;
“Why! liuvi I been walking in my
sleep again ? I thought 1 was cured of
dial trick long ago.”
*'That's just what you've been doing,
madam,” 1 said. “ But don't go up
stairs yet. Look here,” and I stepped
to the corner, where she had knelt,
drew forth the box and displayed the
contents before her.
“ Why hero is every penny of the
missing money!” she exclaimed.
|" How came it here?"
i “ Vmi pul it there, Miss Lawson.
Von have been robbing yourself all
For a moment the old lady stood
transfixed, then she cried:
“ Exactly ! I see it all now!” I have
been so worried about the safety of my
money (bat the idea lias prayed upon
my mind whiles i slept, and tins is the
result. Well, thank heaven it is all ex
! plained now. 1 knew Alice could not
1 have had anything to do with it. And
■ now slie must explain about that man.
i I'll have her tin an once and make her
tell me all about it. I cannot sleep
i until 1 know all.”
Despite my remonstrances, Miss
; Lawson rushed upstairs and knocked
at Miss Traflon’s door, crying;
"Alice Alice, put on your wrapper
'and come out here at once. I want to
i see you.”
In a moment, aunt,” said the won
derful voice of the young girl.
J would have withdrawn, but Miss
Lawson bade me remain.
*' I want you to be convinced, as I am
certain you will lie when the truth is
known, of my poor Alice’s innocence,”
In less than a minute MissTrafton
emerged from her room, wearing a loose
cashmere wrapper, and looking more
beautiful than ever.
In a few moments Miss Lawson ex
plained the situation loiter, and tinn
■‘•Now, Alice, who was that man you
met that night ?”
“I would gladly have kept the truth
from you, dear aunt,” said the young
girl, tier voice trembling with emotion;
“but as you know so much now. it is
better I should tell you all. When, at
the death of my mother, you rescued
me from poverty and misery, and gave
me a home in your house, I did not tell
you that-1 had a brother who had gone
astray —who was even then an inmate
of the state prison. You were so good
yourself, and your ideas on such mat
ters were so strict, that I thought it heat
h> keep this a secret, ihit 1 have from
time to time secretly communicated
with my brother, ami last week. upon
his release from prison, 1 had an inter
view with him, at whieh he told me, to
my honor, that another warrant was
Kin for his arrest on a charge of whieh
he swore he was innocent. He begged
ot me to raise him some money so that
he could leave the country, and begin
life amw in a foreign land. 1 hud saved
nearly three hundred dollars front your
generous allowance, dear aunt, and this
1 promised to give him. 1 did give il to
him on the night that your money dis
appeared. lie was the man that I met
on the corner of Kighteenth street and
Broadway, lie is now faraway from
New York. Now yon know my secret
Can yon forgive me?"
For answer, the old lady clasped Alice
to her breast. Mow I envied her! 1
now took my departure, first receiving
a cordial imitation from the old lady to
1 did call again, and well, Alice nul
1 were married six months from that
from Hen.! . !>'. Taylor's " IMwis'ii tlio times ■
The climate of the coast stimulates
men and women like wine. It gives
them courage that, is not I hitch hot
weather, ami eonlidettee that is not eon
ceil hut intoxication It quickens the
pulse and the step and the hrain. It
sends them wild for pleasurable excite
ntenl. It strengthens tin* passions. It
keeps everybody imder whip am! spur.
It makes him impatient ol patience.
Von live ten years in live, ami it is
scored against yon. It is a debt with
inevitable payment. \ man who has
not attained his mental growth can
come here and shoot up for ten years
like a rocket. 1 hit alas, when he eonum
down, it is sudden, abrupt, like the
"stick." A man who has reached his
law of 11 mi hit ion can migrate to Cali for
ma, ami Hash up brilliantly a little lon
Hoys ami girls are horn w ith percus
sion caps on. Touch them and they
exnlode. They ripin early, in ibis sun
and tonic air, into manhood and wo
manhood. Von can see mothers of 11,
ami see no marvel. About HI,0(H) pu
pils are enrolled in the fifty six public
schools of San I'Taneiseu, and 7,000 m
the I'jn private si bools and colleges. It
is about na ihllienll to govern the young
human California, animal as u is to
catch up a globule of quicksilver from
a marble table with a llttintb and tin
gcr. Is il a hoy 7 Hr shouts, rims,
leaps, struggles, just as his poise heals
because he cannot stop il. He lias
opinions, I bough bis heard is a peachv
down, lie is us positive as a trip-ham
liter. Is it a girl? She is as volatile as
cologne, her voice is jovons, her step a
dancer's* bet* laugh contagions. She is
as dashing as a yacht in a while cap
lie Lais His First Ulnte-Fisli.
I rum lli'lgrnvlii.
The strong point of (he American
lisli market is undoubtedly to he found
in the fresh-water species from its great
lakes and rivers. Besides our well
known Kuropean kinds, salmon, (rout,
sturgeon, perch, etc., which are cheap,
abundant ami well flavored, the western
continent boasts some Hue njwi'itilih'.i of
its own. Among these, the while-fish
of Hie St. Lawrence water chain claims
tin' first rank. Mrs. Jameson declares
that to taste it amply repays the voy
age across the Atlantic, ami though I
belong rather lo the skeptical than to
llic enthusiastic school of epicures, I
am almost, inclined to bai l up her
opinion. I shall never forget, my first
wliile-lish. I had set out from New
Vork for Niagara Jy a night train, and
having fallen into son.id slumber al A1
hany in a comfortable sleeping-car, I
did not awake till westoppod for break
fast at Rochester, near Lake Ontario, at
;i o’clock nextmorning. Rising hastily,
fresh as a daisy after my good night’s
rest, I found myself seated before a-cup
of steaming codec, a plate of hot cakes,
and a hroilwd fish which had been swim
ming unsuspectingly in the lake at I
o'clock that morning. The feelings of
a true epicure who lights upon anew
delicacy of the first order are indescrib
able. White-fish is a sort of idealized
mackerel, with a tinge of elln rial sal
mon flavor; rich, without greasiness;
full, without slronguess, and delicate
without insipidity. J ate it, with unflag
ging appetite, every morning that 1 re
mained along the whole great chain of
lakes and rivers, from Chicago to the
Saguenay, and every morning 1 thought
it, rather belter than the last. If I
could only succeed in acclimatizing it
in our Scottish locks -where il still lin
gered with historical times, and lived
freely during the late geological epochs
1 should feel (as prefaces always say)
that my work was not quite in vain.
A HOtWB in Hoston, dealing largely in
woolen good*, has been ho often cheated
by fabric* professing to be all wool and
found to contain a large admixture of
cotton, that it now submits all speci
men*, before purchasing, to a chemical
test, by which the wool and the cotton,
if the latter be present, are separated
and the fraud made evident. It is dif
ficult to discover the cheat by ordinary
inspection. The cotton and wool are
mixed and carded together before being
spun into yarn.
\ St, I.tmis woman "died without
\N i' frequently think of Montgomery
Hlair ms m sort ot Ijieely motor. liujiliL)
Our colored friends huvo lumlly got
thru - At 11 tights vot; meanwhile they
by low ami lo op .lark.
Iho Now Orleans /mus has the fob
■ low ing sensible and pithy sermon for
Umsiana " Haiti loss hell ami more
When a \ irginia gentleman asks
another to drink,he blandly savs, "Shall
wo give tin* ptthlio debt a lift?" And
A person being askoil why ho had
yiv on his daughter in marriage to a man
with whom ho was at enmity, answer
ed: " 1 did it out of pure revenge."
A butter oonvontion was hold in In
dianapolis hist summer, hut it soon
incited away. The looal papers re
marked that the members all "spread
There are only 000 shades of blue.
W e sometimes feel as thoueh there
won' twice as many. Tumn'.i l ii//.s
t!i •/ toiif r.
I.ring about a polilieiau never hurls
the man lied about; it is having the
truth (old that kills him. A • (h/inns
Snnu i in' mnidcii nml her l*n .m
Will i nil innrs o'i'i lln> pill':
Xml Ini' ll in lln> Imljit *kliml.*li
lii ilin Inti'll up. hi lilk jilnln.
It is mi ill of ilu' (Ideago hanks lluil
thirteen out of eighteen inv opposed to
silver. Silver is too luilky to run away
No one e;m belter appreciate the fuel
tlml the worlil is full of hollow mocker
ies Ilian die man w ho prepares a leelure
with tin’title "I low totfpt Kieb,” ami
then can not make enough by it to pay
his hotel hills.
The Mnglish language is inmlei|iin(e
to express the forlorn feelings of the
hoy who thinks he has stolen a dime
hovel, and finds it (o he a eook hook.
One of (he most trying positions in
life is to stand outside a circus and hear
die applause going on under the tent.
Few there are who ean endure it,
A Florida negro mistook a mule for a
ghost and poked if with a slink, The
verdict recited that lieeanieto Ins death
hy using too short a stlek in prolong
the unknowable lor evidence of a future
existence. IFomsfer I'm*.
A Mississippi Judge was Just saying
that no one hut a coward would carry
a nistol, when his own fell Jroin his
pocket and was discharged, and the hul
*et hit a lawyer in the leg. A I roil I'm
The linin’i iir fears dial Keeley is nn
kind to his family. At least, the other
day, one of the neighbors found Mrs.
Keeley weeping, and on asking what
appeared to lie the (rouble with her,
she said that “ Keely Minute her,”
lie fore lloslon goes entirely crazy
over that female burlier, she might to
pause a little between beans and rumi
nate upon the trouble Samson got into
by letting a. woman cut his hflir.-- fVa
linmiti Hrmkjnd Tahir,
A fop look a seat in a railroad ear
beside a young lady, but on perceiving
she had a. dog be moved oil' with an air
of trepidation. " |)u’t be afraid,” sin
said, w ith an assuring lone; “.lip won't
bite you be doesn't like veal.” .
A beauty who went to be pliotograped
at a sea-side resort,after taking her Meat
in the chair of torture was thus ad
dressed by (be insinuating operator
" Now, Miss, you look at me as if I wis
your young man, and you'd met no
A lady bearing one of In r negro ser
vants express a w i*h to learn how to
read, otlered to teach him. Flow pro
gress, however, was made, owing to
bis stupidity and inattention. Re
proaching him one day with the fact
that be was la/.y and would not study,
bo said: “Well, Missus, I toll yo’ no
Irufe; all I care I.) know bow to read is
do I tilde, do newspaper and de alma
nac; so you see I ain't ho 'liclar 'bout
study in’ as ef I wanted to read eliery
thin’," -Ainlinin (' Hiizintr.
Avvn I, example that of Tweed’s, [fo
stole some $20,000,000, enriched his
family and friends, gratified every taste
or whim he over knew, and died in a
prison cell that he was able to pay s7i>
a week for, and where ho played draw
poker with nis visitors up to 10 p.m.
nightly, while waiting to be pardoned
out. tad bis frightful fate deter all who
red of it from following Ids bad ex
ample. Jt is really quite too awful,
Jn preparation for the nmiivenuirioa
the j'rfjtt charitable societies arc iwm*
inir statements of their receipt* and ex
penditures, The Presbyterian f reign
hoard has received for eleven month#
of the fiscal years3l 1,805; for tin* same
period of 1877 the receipts were $300,-
201, allowing a falling ill' of $54,300.
The Methodist Episcopal Missionary
Society has still a debt of $170,000,
which is a reduction of $03,000, The
managers expect to discharge the whole
in a few years more.
xml | txt