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The Grand Army Badge.
I am asked to give something in the way of a history of the Grand Array badge. The order of the Grand Army of the Repub'lc was organized in the year 18CG. Dr. B. F. Stephen son and the Rev. W. J. Rutledge were the moving spirits in the mat ter. Both had been members oi the 14th Illinois infantry, Stephenson sur geon, and Ru ledge chaplain. The two soldiers were tentma es and bosom friends. While their regimen* was on the march they rode side by sid<‘, and whiled away the long hour in conversation upon subjects of in terest to both. When they were on Sherman’s Meridian expedition m February, 3 BG4, they got to talking about the probability of some sort o: organization of war veterans after the close of the war, and they agreed that if their lives were spared, they would undertake to bring about some such organization. The two men came home well and happy after the union was saved and soon began to correspond concerning this matter about which they had talked so much on the march. Omit ting many de ails, it nifty be said In irief that these two, with a few other veterans, prepared an appropriate ritual and took the obligation that made them the first members ot the Grand Army of the republic. Tin first G. A, R. post was organized at Decatur, Illinois, on the Gth of April, 18G6. It was on the 7th day of June, ’GG, when the department of Wiscon sin was organized, here in Madison, with General Jane s K. Broudiit as de partment commander. Ilis home is now In Kansas City, Kansas, and he is the oldest living department com mander. Two days after the organization of rhe department. June 9, 18G6, our lo cal G. A. R. post was organized, and its present charter is dated June 10, 1866. The Badge. E ery society must have its official badge, and our was adopted in IXfJG. but since then some changes have been made in its form. On the first of October, 18f*8, the national council of administration decreed that an eagle should be added to the top of the badge, and that a circular piece of metal should be suspended from it, <>n which should be placed the In signia of rank, much the same as W" now have it on the miniature rank strap used in connection with tin badge. Contracts were made for the manu facture of these badges, plated with silver or gold or solid, at prices rang ing from forty cents to $25 each; but the manufacturer having failed, ami there being serious objections to such variety of materials and prices. led Vdjutant General Chipman to recoin mend the reference of the matter to a committee who should consult ex ports and design another badge. This action resulted in the adoption, at tin. national encampment of October 27. ISM. Of the badge which was, by Cir cular No. 2 Fehruar,' IS, ISTo. des cribed as follows: “The badge is of bronze, made from cannon captured in different decisive battles during the late rebellion, and form of a five pointed s ar. similar in design to the two hundred medals of honor authorized by act of congress to be given to soldiers and saliors most distinguished for meritorious and gal iant condm durine the late war. The Obverse. "In the center of the badge is the figure of the Goddess of Liberty, rep resenting Loyalty: and two children receiving benediction and assurance of protection from th comrades, rep resenting Charity. On each side or the group is the national flag and eagle, representing Freedom, and the axe. or bundle of rods, or fascus. rep rt seating union. In each point of the star is the insignia of the various arm? ot the service, viz., the bugle for in fantry, cross cannon for artillery, cross muskets for the marine, cross swords for cavalry and the anchor tor sailors. Over the central group are the words. "Grand Army of the Re public." and under the words and figures. "IMli—Veteran—l Sthk" com memorating the commencement and the close of the rebellion, and also the date of organization of the order. The Reverse Side. Represen s a branch of laurel—the crown and reward of the brave —in eai h point of the star. The national seal hi the center, surrounded by the twenty-four recognized corps' badges numerically arranged, each on a key stone and all linked together, showing they are united, and will guard and protect the shield of the nation. Around the center is a circle of stars, representing the states of the union and the departments composing the grad army of the republic. The Clasp. Is composed of the figure of an eagle, with the cross cannon and am munition representing defence: the eagle with drawn sword hovering over and always ready to protect from in sult or dishonor, the national flag, which is also the ribbon of the or der.” The eag'e cn the grand army badge is a fac-similie of the eagle on the “Medal of Honor” ordered by con gress to be presented for individual acts of bravery. The stars in the two badges are very much alike. Under Commander-In-Chief Earn shaw chosen in 1880. there were slight changes made in the shape of the star and the form of the eagle, which made the badge just like the pic ure at the head of this article. Badge for G. A. R. Officers. At the 7th national encampment in May, 1873. the following direction was adopted concerning the official badge: “The official badge is to consist of a miniature strap and plain ribbon to which shall be pendant :he bronze star of the membership badge;; that this strap be one and one-half inches In length, one-half inch in width, ( nameled, with a border one-sixteenth of an inch in width, oi gold or gilt, an on it the insignia of official posi tion in the Grand Army of the Re public, making use of the familiar star, eagle, leaf and bar of the old service, substantially as determined and recommended for official badges by the national council of administra tion and anounced in Circular No. 6, Headquarters Grand Army of the Re public, January 4, 1869; except that for aides-de-camp to the commander in- chief there be substituted a silver eagle, and for aides-de-camp to de partment commanders a silver leaf; for the words, ‘General Commander,' read ‘Departmenr Commander;’ that the field in enamel be. for national and department officers, black; for post officers, dark blue. “That the ribbon be one and one half inches in length in the clear, and cue and one-fourth inches in wid h and in color, for national officers, buff, for department officers, cherry red. and for post officers, light blue. "That this badge be worn conspicu ously on the left breast of the coat. “That, to distinguish officer? of dif ferent depar.nients, a miniature shield in gold or gilt, with the coat of arms of the state, may he worn pendant to the strap.” At the next national encampment it was decided that post officers may wear the rank strap of the highest of fice they have held.in the grand army the same to be clasped about the proper ribbon and just below the eagle of the membership badge, to which the whole should he pendant. In 1886. at the national encamp ment at San Francisco, two more corps badges were added to the twenty-four on the reverse side, and just hack of the bronzt* eagle there was put a campfire design—a coffee kettle hanging over a fire. The badge as thus completed has been duly pat ented for the exclusive use of mem bers, in good standing, of the Grand Army of the Republic. The Button Badge. At Minneapolis, in 1884. a resolution was adopted looking to the prepara tion of a design for a button badge. Such design was later presented and adopted. This is the little bronze button so familial in these days on the left lapel of the coats of Grand Army men. Made From Captured Cannon. For several years before I's'O the metal of these badges came from guns bought of various societies to which they had heetu givetn by congress for monumental purposes, but since then captured cannon have been purchased from the government for this pur pose. These guns have been select ed from those stored at Governor s is land. and wore made by Noble Broth ers. Home. Georgia; Quimby and Robinson. Memphis: John Clark. New Orleans: and A. R. R. Bros.. Vicks burg. Some of these are presumably of English metal. .. To prepare this metal for badges the gun is put into a lathe and cut in to sections. These pieces are then melted, cast into small pigs, re-melted and refined to get out of it every trace of iron or lead. Twenty per cent of copper and zinc is then added to make the metal so it will not break in further work upon it. A rough form of the star is then cast in sand. This blank is freed from sand and again annealed, and the Are coating is removed by acid baths, after which it is thoroughly rinsed to remove all traces of the acids, which would otherwise destroy the dies. The piece is then placed between steel dies and put under a pressure of about four or five times, every piece being cleaned and annealed after every operation. The edges, which have been expand ed under the heavy blows, are trim med by machinery, and the piece is again put into the press to bring every part into relief. The outline is then perfected by special machinery, the edges are filed by hand, the swivels are inserted, the star numbered, and the initial of the Commander-in-Chief of that term added. The badge is then ready for the final finish by a special process, which is adopted to the peculiar quality of metal in each gun. All this is for the scar in the badge. The eagle from which it is hung by the ribbon is subjected to the same general process, but it re quires much less pressure in the stamping machine. Just think, comrades, how much IOWA COUNTY DEMOCRAT, MINERAL POINT, WIS., THURSDAY. MAY. 13, 1909 pains cur G. A. R. badges receive to make them so nearly perfect as hu man genius is capable. I think that if you have read this clear through you will set a still higher value upon ■he official token of your membership in the Grand Army of the Republic. There is in Wisconsin, as in several other states, a law against the wear ing of a G. A. R. badge, either the one described above or the button, by any one not in good standing as a member. It is a matter of regret, how ever, that some persons who claim to have been loyal soldiers of the union and to have taken oath to do all in their power to maintain the laws of their state and nation, will, though not members of the order, go about with Grand Army buttons on their coats. I have heard one of these men say that he will wear the little bronze button in spite of either the Grand Array or the state of Wisconsin. It goes without saying that a person of this kind is a discredit not only to the Grand Army but to the whole body of loyal soldiers and the state whose laws protect him. By his action he mriiitests a for law and good citizenship. True Grand Army men. though they may not bring him into court and have him fined, do hold him in silent and honest contempt. The cammander-!n-chief of the Grand Army wears a rank strap with four silver stars; a department commando • —a department is in most cases the I same as a state—there are 45 of them, I two silver stars. A post commander ! wears a silver eagle, a senior vice ! commander of a post a silver leaf, a ! junior vice commander gilt leaf; post I chaplain a small silver cross, post officer of the day two gilt bars, adju tant, quartermaster and patriotic In structor one guilt bar, officer of the guard a strap with vacant field. A full official G. A. R. badge costs a dollar—a bronze button for lapel of coat ten cents. An eagle indicates the rank of colonel; gilt leaf, major; two bars, captain; one bar, first lieutenant; va cant field, second lieutenant. In no Grand Army journal—post, de par, merit or national —are titles of rank used. There are captains, col onels or generals. All go by the high er title—comrade. But many Grand Army men, in their personal inter course, like to play with titles of rank, —call one another—and be called — captain, colonel or general. It is a harmless sort of play, and there is no law to the contrary. Such titles cost nothing, and why shouldn’t Tom and Bill and Joe take possession of such as please them? It is very likely that they fought well enough for their country as privates in the rear rank to deserve one or more of them, anyhow. But they do not so publish themselves in the official rec ords of the Grand Army of the Re public. There the war-time general and the private hold the same rank. All are comrades. At a Western Dance A western dancing party has feat ures—and distinctive ones at that, its frequency and Ls duration are per haps the most noticeable of these, for it is no co iveutional 4 hour dance but an affair which takes no note of time and is dissipation itself. Four nights in a week is the average rate and from 8 p. m. until 5 a. in. are the aver age hours. Such a system of social fnvoiity makes physical culture sound like play and the average easterner finds himself unable to compete. The method of invitation to these functions —or the lack of it —is unique- The usual procedure is for the dancers to walk in unannounced upon the host and hostess as ’.ate or as early in the evening as the dancing humor may have seized them and announce that there is to be a party. The really po ■iite tiling for the host and hostess to do at this juncture is to rise up from bed fit', as often happens, it is past the rearing hour), move bed and other bulky furnishings out of doors and be gin to cut up a candle for waxing of the floor. There are other features, too. which are unusual. For instance, one could scarcely believe unless one saw for himself, that a dozen couples could two-step blithely in a room 10x12 feet and collide only at every fourth turn. Yet this same feat has been accom plished. Orchestra, dancers and wall flowers are indistinguishahly mingled in the confusion —and, by the way, the sex of the wail flower is changed in this longtitude. Girls are so few that ever,' one of them is in constant de mand and it is the men who view their luckier partnered companions from the disconsolate side lines. If the house is possessed of two rooms, one is apportioned to the wraps and the babies and the two are indis criminately mingled. I shall long re member an experience of my own un der such circumstances. Two of us had retired utterly fagged out. to such a small room and curling up on a heap of fur coats were preparing for a short nap. hidden from watchful partners. Ml at once the coat I lay on moved under me and I sat up rather hastily. At that, the pillow rolled over and revealed itself as a much dimpled, flushed and sleepy pil low. 1 unearthed four such surprises befoie my nap was an assured pros pect. Such conditions as these make a reader of Owen Wister smile in ready remembrance of one of the X Ir anian's pranks. be no extra room the babies were pi ed up on coats behind the s:ove. in one corner of the big bunk room, .lust at an exciting moment in a lively quadrille, down came the stove-pipe wit a a cloud of soot. There was much screaming of mothers, but on damage cone except the waking of the babies, who sat up in a sleepy row. much in jured at this disturbal of their nap. The west is an education in danger and its stoical enduance —even to b: hies. The orchestra for these festive af fairs is variable in quantity and qual ity. In the homes of luxury it con sists of an organ and a violin. From that splendid climax it descends through varying stages co a mouth harp. One of the most successful dances 1 attended, had an orchestra consisting ot two voices and a guitar. They sang rag time to the twanging ac companiment and when they wearied of singing they whistled. Theodore Thomas himself could not have been more ingenious—or more untiring. Since a group of homesteaders is necessarily a motley gathering of many nationalities and types, the style of dancing varies widely. Here an ex-college man and his partner be tray an atmosphere of dancing mas ters and polished ballroom; there, a big Swede sheep herder drags after him hi* luckless partner in the mad turns and twists of his own Swedish method. And by the way. if there is anything funnier than a Swede in his first two-step. 1 have yet to see it. The girls become past masters of versatile dancing because they must accommodate their steps to every known variety of partner. Truly, a western dance is desper ately funny and desperately tiring, but vet as the sun beams in on black ringed eyes, weary feet and aching heads, one opens ones eyes and stirs his benumbed faculties enough to ask “Where will the next one be?” —I. L. M. BEAUTIFUL PAPER NAUTILUS. Habits of the Lovely Creature as Observed in Captivity. New York Sun—A good sized shell of the paper nautilus may bring!<s. and S3OO has been paid for a very la: ge specimen. That being the case it is not surprising that the people living on the islands off the Cali fornia coast, get out in their boats bright and early after heavy gales to search the little beaches for the coveted treasure. The shells are thrown up by the waves, but unless promptly taken away the next rush of water may break them to pieces. The name paper nautilns suggests the extreme fragility of the vaselike shell, deeply fluted and coiled, with a sharp keel and the most graceful ribs, and sometimes more than 10 or 11 inen es across. While the empty shells are scarce they are positively common compared with the rarity of the occupied ones. A writer in Country Life in America says that be has hunted the beaches for years, hoping to find a living nautilus, but without success. Three were brought to him by more fortunate searchers, and for a while he kept one of them alive. It took food from his hand and fhe first photographs ever made of a living paper nautilus were secured. “The shell,” he says, “is not essen tial to the animal; it is only a dainty object having the shape of a shell 1 formed for the protection of its eggs. It is. then, *a nest and in no way connected with the animal, as ; n the case of the pearly nautilus, where the animal forms partitions as it grows and is connected with them all by fleshy pedicle or cord. The paper nauiilus can dart out of its fairy ship at a second’s notice. “Glancing into the shell we may see a yellow bunch of miniature grapes hanging from the interior ! wall—the eggs—and perched in front of them is the argonaut, looking very much like an octopus or devilfish. From the number of empty shells found upon Santa Catalina beaches in winter and summer it might be assumed that the argonaut deserts the shell at times and ]ive s a roving, octopus-like life. ‘in appearance it is one of the i most beautiful of all animals as it (rests in its shell, trembling with I color, as waves of rose, rel low, green. | violet and all tints of brown are CHILDS FRCCK OF PLAID. The material of which this smart frock was fashioned was green and while gingham in large plaid design. The little full was long and attached by a broad belt cut bias to a little side pleated skirt with center box pleat trimmed with pearl buttons. Several straps of white lawn joined by faggotiing extended across the shotulders, and this trimming was re peated on the cuffs. A soft Low of black satin ribbon finished the neck of the little waist and above this showed a dainty guimp. Pearl buttons out lined the termination of the bodice at the shoulder. continually sweeping over it; now irised in the most delicate shade of blue. now.b.own or green changing to rose, vivid scarlet of molten sti ver. So sensitive is it that every convulsive movement of the mantle of my paper nautilus, in taking in water to breath and forcing it out of the siphon, caused a wave of col or to pass over the entire body. “When the water was taken in the color cells contracted, leaving it pale for a fraction of a second; when it was forcer out they evi dently relaxed and the entire sur face was suffused with color, to dis appear as quickly, giving a continu ous heat lightning effect, "The body of the little argonaut Is a mere sac from three to six inches in length. The head appears to be separated from the body by a neck and In each side are large, black, staring eyes, surrounded by a hand of silver tinted with ultrama line. continually changing. “The glare of his hypnotic eye is striking, and when the animal sinks into its shell or hides the eye can be pla'nly seen through it. The eye also has a peculiar sac or cover that slides over it in lieu of a lid whicn deadens the sight but does not des troy it. “Like the octopus. it has eight i arms or tentacles, in pairs,. which ; rise from the head and surround the | small month, in which are seen two black, parrotlike beaks with which the nautilus nips its food. Below the mouth is the so-called siphon— | a tube about as large as a man’s [ finger—which seems to possess a sense peculiarly its own and a double function—it serves to carry off the water taken in at the gills, or through it may be forced a jet of ink; or it can throw* a jet of water and ink, or water alone, a distance of five or s*x feet in the air, or while in the water can almost in stantly permeate it with a cloud of ink. Forcing water through this si phon violently, the argonaut shoots itself along or swims, and by point ing it up or down it can change the direction at will. “Of the three living specimens that I have kept in confinement one was four or five inches long, an other eight or nine. The small one was extremely active, leaving its shell to crawl about its prison and darting back with great agility, di recting its funnel backward at the cluster of eggs changing in the in terior of the shell, always paying the most assiduous attention to them to prevent the intrusion of any par asite or enemy. “It would recline against the weed covered rock, w r atch ng me or eye ing my hand as it moved about, blushing, paling, displaHng remark able sensitiveness, and when I touched the shell would protest by pumping violently, shooting the shell backward; and if I held on, aiming the siphon at my hand and pump ing water at it, on one occasion fill ing the water with an extraordinary vo 'y or cloud of ink.” Moret Libel. Customer—l want to get a piece of silver as a wedding present for a man who's marrying a Boston girl. What would you suggest? Clerk—An icepick.—The Bellman. His Specialty. “Kipps makes mountains out of mo'e hills!” “Yes. He is the writer of adver tising circulars for a picturesque sum mer resort.” —Puck. The Poet—“l am at a loss to know whether I owe what I am to my en vironment or my heredity.” The friend—•“ Don’t know which to blame, elx?" —Cleveland Leader. Foreign Notes of Interest i .oiessor Lombroso, the eminent criminologist, in a letter to a Paris journal, comments upon the patholog ical effects of the Messina earth quake, tie writes; “No one, even though seriously wounded, spoke of physical suffering. The panic, the terror took possession of their senses and paralyzed all sense of pain. Men who had an arm broken ran miles without knowing it; a woman w hose eye was so badly hurt that it had to be removed, declared that she felt nothing. With bare feet, clad with only a shirt, the first thought of the survivors was to fly, and they set off without thought or reflection, without knowing why they ran. This is prob ably the primordial hereditary im pulse which made men of older times floe from forest fires and wild beasts; perhaps with those who were buried in the ruins for some time it was the reaction against the compulsory im mobility against which heart and mus cles, thirsty for movement, had re volted. The manifestations of mad ness were extraordinary. The pre dominant form of madness was the folie furieuse. However. I believe that madness of this kind is neither as dangerous nor as persistent as has been said. In many cases the at tack was providential, for it stifled the consciousness of pain and the power to comprehend the disaster. There was a striking episode of col lective mutism. At the time of the people were about to enter a factory. They remained outside, and thus were saved, but their amazement was so great that when the director of the: factory called out their names scarcely one answered; their own names had slipped their recollection ” Professor Lombroso also gives some remarkable instances in which the instance of self-preservation showed itself very strongly. Women and children remained two days sitting on window sills on the third and fourth floors, with a great drop on either side, and yet they refused to fall a prey to sleep or fatigue— Victor Horsley delivered an address the other day on alcohol and the na lional life. Among other things he said that a man who took alcohol be cause he liked it w r as acting disloy ally towards his country, it had been said that alcohol was one of the most important, if not the most important, food of the working man. It was not a food. The net result of it was loss and not profit. Whereas the expendi ture on alcohol in the great London hospitals was, in 1562, nearly £B.OOO a year, in 1002 it was under £3 000. and. conversely, the expenditure on milk rose from £3.000 to over £B,OOO. Since the London county council had taken over the asylums the consump tion therein of alcohol had been enor mously reduced. So far back as 1726 the Royal College of Physicians had reported that the daily use of al cohol rendered “people not fit for business. ’’ and that its consumers were producing - children w-hich “would not. be a source of strength to the nation, but a charge.” Twenty five years ago the late Sir James Paget had showed that Great Britain lost an immense amount, of useful work, not by grave illness, but by small maladies produced by drinking. The researches of Mr. Moore in south Australia had demonstrated that the larger proportion of these small maladies fell on the so-called “moder ate drinker.” Passing to more serious maladies, Sir Victor said they knew perfectly well that the death-rate among publicans as compared with others was 16 to 10. He was of opin ion that intemperance could be dealt with by licensing legislation. Tin question arose., did higher licensing duties diminish the number of public houses? They most certainly did. He did not believe in the municipali zation of public-houses. He did not approve of any section of the nation deriving profit from the drink trade. Referring to the moral aspect of the drink question, he maintained that no national life could exist without a keen, active moral souse. Alike phys iologically, economically, and morally, the drink habit was most injurious and to be condemned. More than a year ago the Master of Cains college, Cambridge—the vice chancellor-—referring to recent de bates in parliament, said that he be lieved that thore was ample authority in existing university statutes for all the needed reforms, which were the subject of public discussion. He sug gested that the university ought to reform itself. In consequence of this suggestion various special committees were appointed to investigate weak points in university administration. Such topics as the relatio nof the col leges to the university; the scholar ship system; the expense of a univer sity career; and the government of the university, have been most care fully considered, and certain schemes of reform, acceptable to moderate men of both parties will soon be laid before the authorities. One subject which has attracted much attention has been the question of scholarships. It is possible for a well-to-do student to resign the emolument of his schol arship while retaining the status of a scholar, but except in one or two col leges few scholars have availed them selves of this privilege. It is now sug gested. and some colleges are prepared to act upon the suggestion, that in future a scholarship shall carry with it but a minimum payment, and that those scholars who require further assistance shall receive it in accord ance with their poverty ra*her than their ability. These suggestions, how ever. have not met with universal ap proval. The following words of a famous schoolmaster, the late Arch bishop Temple, are quoted: “With regard to our scholarships, if you see him, will you tell him that we wish to have as large a competition for our scholarships as possible, and that poverty has nothing to do with them? I shall always be glad if a poor boy gets one. but not if he gets it by a cleverer boy not standing. If once the world gets the notion that they are not for brains and industry, but for poverty, the whole plan be comes useless.” A question which is now (ho sub ject of much discussion in Oxford uni versity relates to the position of women students, now under the con trol of the association for the educa tion of women, and of the authori or of the committee for Oxford house students. Nearly all college lecturers admit them as part of their audience; they go without restriction to the pre lections of university professors and readers; and the delegates oi Uhml examinations arrange for their admis sion to the ordinary univerity i \ani mations. Their numbers are increas ing, and it is urged that the univer sity should appoint a delegacy or a committee to do officially the work now done by the association for the education of women. No proposal to confer degrees is at present under consideration; and the suggestion now made, which merely recognizes an ex isting stale of things, will be sup ported by many who are not in favor of women’s degrees. This latter question stands much where It did. The personnel of the university has changed greatly since it was last raised; but not ail the younger fel lows of colleges are supporters of • women's rights” in the university; opinion among them is divided, just as it was. and Is, among (heir seniors. There is a distinctly humorous side to the official mourning for the late emperor and dowager empress of China. Thus the now baby emperor protests that on the three occasions of the deaths of the Emperors Tao- Kwang (1850). Hsien-Peng ( 1861). and T’ung-chih (1874). their respec tive successors, in spite of the modest dying disclaimers of their deceased ancestors that their deserts would be met by twenty-seven days' mourning, in each case successfully insisted upon wearing sackcloth for twenty seven days, and then uncolored silk for a hundred days. He says that nothing short of (his will satisfy his acute filial feeling, notwithstanding any wish the late Grand-Dowager may have expressed to the contrary. The board of riles in an unsealed memorial, solemnly discusses the fur ther question whether, during these twenty-seven days of sackcloth, the new monarch ought not to use blue ink instead of red for inditing decrees and rescripts. This point is conceded. The board, however, proposes, on second thoughts, that blue Ink be list'd for a hundred days, as the emperor Is going to mourn for that-length of tira- . Meanwhile the head of an ed ucational establishment incurs the imperial infant’s displeasure by seed ing in a sealed memorial after only nine days have elapsed from the date of the late emperor's death, in stead of waiting fifteen days. It is to be noted, also that the new emperor now ceases to be Ids own father’s son, and becomes the son of Ids late uncle. In addressing the emperor of Japan, he talks of “my late father's decease," and of “my late grandmother’s de cease.’’ SHE NAMED HIM. Hezekiah Horsefly smiled knowingly as he stood In the crowd in front of the fortune-teller’s booth, with one hand on his silver watch. “She’ll tell you your past —shell tell you your future —she’ll tell you your name!’’ roared the barker through his megaphone. “Bet a squash she can't do it!” mut tered Hezekiah to himself. “If she can’t t<dl you your name she’ll refund your money!" yelled the barker, as he seized up Hezekiah and seemed to know what was passing in his mind. By hen. I'll do it!” exclaimed the man from Podunk. “I’ll hev some fun fur nothin!” and a moment later ho paid $2 in advance and was sitting face to face with Madam Tabasco, “the famous gypsy queen.” “You are going on a long Journey," she began, as she studied his hand. “Yep; that’s what they all say,” sneered Hezekiah. “(Jo on and tell me my name or gimme my money back. ’ “A blonde lady, w hom you have never seen, has fallen madly in love with you, and —” “i don’t keer a pumpkiin seed if she has!” he broke in agrily. “I’m here to be told my name.” “But I warn you to beware of a short, fat man,” continued Hie fortune teller. “He will —” “And I don’t care a bumble bee about a short fat man!” exclaimed Hezekiah. “I want my name, or there’ll be sum trouble around here. You know you can’t tell it.” “You would have me tell you your name?” she asked. “That’s what I’m here fur, grand ma.” he flippantly replied. “Very w'ell, sir. But first let me tell you your future; let me give you a warning that -will be worth fifty times the small sum you have paid. A dark man will soon cross your path, and if you—” “I kin take keer of all the dark men that cross my path. I’ll give you a minut more to tell me my name.” “Very well, sir,” said Madam Ta basco, as she touched a bell and a smile came over her face. “Your name is ‘Sucker.’ ” And after Hezekiah Horsefly had been hustled out by the bouncer, he agreed that the fortune-teller had bite the nail on the head. —Judge. Judge —“You are charged with be ing the leader of an organized band of pickpockets.” Prisoner—-“ Well, yer’ll have to impose a fine on de corporation den, yer know; yer can’t punish me personally!” —Puck. Litt’e pleasures are scarcely worth telling our friends about. Perhaps that is why we think so little of them. 5