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COME AND SEE Thursday, Friday and Saturday, April 6, 7 and 8 We will demonstrate to the fashionable women of Amarillo that our Styles are Correct and Newest, our Selection the Largest, our Trimmings the Daintiest and OUR PRICE THE LOWEST MRS. COLLIER Mill STAR RESTAURANT Everything in season, served by expert cater ers. Fish, Oysters and Cold Storage Beef. OPEN ALL NIGHT East Of P. 0. BROS, Prop. THE IMPRESSIONS OF A TENDERFOOT ma Being Black-anJ-White Sketches of Real Human Interest. OMORROW IS THE BIRTHDAY OF ALL OF t U8' or we ar9 mere'y Parts ne '0n2 process- ik 1 Ion of fools who haye choused around since time began, Adam began the foolishness when he got lonesome in the garden of Eden, and so inspired the idea of woman; since which time there has never been another Eden. To be sure an ma; 13 worm living tor 13 centered around a descendant of that same woman, but speaking from a 6einsn standpoint, Adam cut a tat pig in the neck when he began to look at the moon and wonder where his affinity was. That the more mmeaMatfl descendants of this original fool should have grown more or dinary than dirt was a matter of course; the wonderful part could only have been noticed if they had done anything elu, and It served them right when the high waters came and all but Noah were wiped out. Noah in his turn proceeded to show his weakness; instead of keep ing the boys on the old home farm, he let them scatter, and as a result we now have a multitude of races instead of the first breed; of course if we all belonged to the same family the newspapers would be short some fine headlines, and there would be no Irish. Abraham wasfjt fool as well as an ass when he turned Hagar out, not having even the decency of the present Mormons, but if he hadn't done it, we would never have heard the thunders of Sinai, there would have been no clothing dealers and no one for Russia to persecute at dull times. It wa3 a good job for Hagar when she hit the grit, but it bokJd bii for thi old nun, and doss yet, considerably over a week since itis all said to have happened. Solomon was a fool, the fact that he had more than one wife de monstrating the fact without any argument, though some few claimed that it showed his marvelous governing ability to keep them all in a good humor at the same time. We can forgive Sol for his lack of 6ense on this score, however, for it was in the building of his court house that the first trades union was formed, and which has since developed into an institution as broad as the world and which has been an unspeakable blessing to humanity. Pontius Pilate was a fool of the first water, blinder than onev of the numerous bats that undoubtedly dwelt in his garret. If he had had the sense that he was born with he would have waited until he could have 6een the truth of the claims of the Messiah and reported it as a work of the ruling party; then he would have been promoted and sent to the legislature or the like of that. Mark Ant ny was a fool and a big one. A soldier tried by time, it was in his hinds to give to Rome the valley of the Nile and its wonder ful richne.cs and win immortal fame; instead of that he went off after a saddle colcrtd lady with a cast in one eye. No one blames Mark for being fond of the ladies, every man that is worth a cuss has the same distingjishing peculiarity, but when he let Cleopatra tie a knot in his shirt tail as he did. he fell from a mighty high pedestal into the dust. , Since these old roosters passed to the sweet subsequently, all the rest of humanity has taken its turn at being fools. No man ever born has failed to achieve the title at some time in his life, and generally it is more cften than seldom. Absolutely no person has an armor proof against h mself, and soon or later he takes himself in. The wrong fellow is always marrying the wrong girl and vice versa, gccd dtmccrats are trying to be good republicans and the reverse, men are trying to preach the gospel who haven't even the virtue of charity, and to edit a newspaper who fail to grasp the vein of humaness that XI Y V ITS ides 1J The oldest hide house in the south west. We recognize no competition. You will make money if you permit us to handle your hicks. Just had to arrive several cars of Grain, Hay and Feed-stuffs Another Car Selected Texas Red Rust Proof . . . SEED 0,US Two Cars Choice . . . . . ALFALfA HAY Three Cars Amber, Orange and Red Top . CANE SLED Two Cars Feeders' . . . . COTTON SFtD Two Cars Prime . . . . COTTON SEED MEAL Three Cars Prime Cracked ' . . COTTON SEED CAKE The above added to our already large and thoroughly as sorted stock of grain and feed stuff of every kind enable us to take care of your wants fully and promptly. We solicit your inquiries and patronage. makes the whole world kin. Men come to the professions with polished educations, and all of the gifts of training and culture, but the divine spark is not there and in trying to follow something for which they are not fitted they steadily make fools of themselves. There are many others. The man with a $60 income who lives at a $70 rate, the boy who is ashamed to work hard with his hands and imagines that he can get through by working other people, the fellow who expects to make anything at gambling except a hard name, the unfortunate who believes there is such a thing as good whiskey, the partisan who gets excited over politics even to the point of alienation with his best friends, the married man who strays off into other pas tures, the party who is never satisfied with his surroundings, the doc tor who abuses a competitor of a different school, the woman who pinches her gizzard out with corsets, the girl who thinks it beneath her to know the art of housework, the boy who calls his father "the ol man', the elector who StavS awav from thfi prima Hoc anH -nnwantina r, j ' ------ - r itv wtiu uvuivtuiiiwi'9 auu then kicks about the grade of men named for office, the man who does not like the community and yet stays in it, the merchant who does not advertise and wonders why trade is dull, the genius who- tells every hody else how to conduct their business, and so on to the end of th chapter. We are all fools. Some of us have it worse than others and it takes a mighty wise mighty wise man to tell which is which. Many a good brother will swell up like a poisoned pup if you hint that he is a natural born fool, and yet at the same time, in his own heart, the les son that he is one at least in spots is forced home every day. And it is good for civilization that it is so, for it is only by ths "making of mis takes and the acting of fools that we advance. - We see others, and while it does not prevent us takingourtimeatthecapandbells.it teaches that us it is the wav of humanity and delivers us from many evils tha$ w would otherwise Tall into as easily as a colored person yieldi to th? seductive symmetry of a fat pullet. n AMARILLO TliE QUEEN. Like the flowers of spring. Ama rillo seems the more a queen from year to year. It has more chance to be beautiful and ain't than any other town on the line of the Santa Fe. That is a royal trait, if there is any such thing. Some of us, who are UNTIL MAY m ....HERALD'S SPECIAL CLUB OFFER,,,, 15 TO 25 PER CENT SAVED l 'mil Muy First TIIK IIKRALI) will make you an exceedingly low rate cm lending Magazines and Newspapers. Those mentioned in this list rank highest in their class, or are the representative paper of their town. These rates are in effect only until May ist, 1905: Twice-a- eek Herald one year J0.75 r Kansas City Star one year 0.2s Total fl.no T.wice-a-Week Herald one year 0.75 r Home and Farm Total one year 0.50 1-25 "75 ) I.(MJ V '75 Twiee-aWeek Herald one year 0.75 ") Fort Worth Weekly Telegram one year... 0.50 '. Total I.25 ) Twice-a-Week Herald one year 0.75 " Toui .Watson's Magn.ine one year 1.00 C .- Total 1.75 ) Twice-a-Wcck Herald one year 0.75 " Farm and Ranch one year i.oo (. Total 1.75.1 Twice-a-Week Herald one year Ilryan's Commoner one year Total Twice-a-Week Herald one year breeder's Ca.ctte one year Total Twice-a-Week Herald one year The I'loviliid.'i llostieriaii one veur 1 .00 To'al 1.75) Twice-a-Week Herald one year 0.75 The Harden Magazine one year i.oo '- Total I.75 ) Twice-a-Week Herald one year Under Other Flags (Itryau's new hook Total "75 ) I .on "75 ) r "75 ) 1.25 ' 2.00 Both one year Both one year Both one year. Both one year. Both one year . Both one year. Both one year . Both one year Both one year. Both Twicc-a-Week Herald one year 0.75 The Delineator one year i.oo '. Total 1.75) Twice-a-Week Herald one year 0.75 " FV erylHxly's Magn.ine one year 1 .00 t Total 1.75) Twice-n-Week Herald one year 0.75 " Daily Kansas City Star one year 5.20 t Total , 5 95 J We have Club Rates with nil leading Magazines and Periodicals, a few of which we will mention herein from time to time. If you should wish for any publication we have not mentioned, on request will advise you our lowest club rate. Will be pleased to have a sample copy of nny paper sent you. Magazines will not furnish tree samples. Both one year. Both one year. Both one year. $0.85 $0.90 $1.00 $1.30 $1.30 $1.30 $1.30 $1.35 $1.40 $1.45 $1.50 $1.50 $5.35 T0S.1 CO. WHOLESALE GRAIN AND HIDES. 501 Crant-St. f RANK DeWITT. Manager. Phone 101 How 'About It Easter will soon be here and yqu will need a New Spring Suit. We can make it for you and guarantee fit and workmanship. Order before the Easter rush. Send us your suits to be Cleaned. Pressed and Repaired. In the Rear of the Imperial Barbershop. George Stapleton Amarillo Transfer Company Phone 128 Carriages and Baggage Wagons At any Time Day and Night Phone 128 here to Stav and Dav tha freiffht. forcer, ahmit it hut it ic a fart all tha same, the same as the fact that we will soon have Amarillo creamery butter. Amarillo. the Queen! She sits on a beautiful mesa, a diadem upon a brow of unspeakable beauty and from her throne of grace sends greeting to an enlightened world and parts of New Mexico. We are the people. The President don't see it, but ws are. Lo. the poor son-burned son of the tackless waste, once had a great deal of fun chasing buffaloes and stabbing pioneers in this neck of the woods, but his occupation is gone and his moccasins, properly dis infected, are used for bric-a brae in the parlors of our best families. Plenty of white Indians left. Where the. scared antelope once bounded with amazing agility, our temple of justice, the goal of hungry statesmen, will soon rear its a majestic dome,- and the star-eyed goddess will sit enthroned to swat it to any fellow, rash enough to steal calves. Proud are we of this flyess town. The sun, with kingly grace, flings royal robes upon the budding green as he goes flitting o'er the plains to kiss the skies that from us fade to darkness and to night. Balmy is his touch, his breath like zephyrs lurking in the air, exhaling sweet berfume that tells us spring is near. This is Amarillo. The pioneer and the heavy snows are gone but their memory clings, no matter how shattered the good old theme. Woe has vamosed; grief has chased herself. The blizzard may toss his raging mane above his shaggy head and bellow like Cleveland in the Pecos Valley, but he does no harm to this section of the west, We bear a charmed life and it will be a cold day "The "Outdoor""" REGISTERED HEREFORD HERD BULLS IN SERVICE Ten Strike, 80169 trlke Eight, 156849 Armour Dale, 156,843 CATTLE LOCATED AT CANYON CITY. TEXAS STOCK FOR SALE APPLY TO JOHN HUTSON Canyon, Texas when we get Talmadged. It takes a man with a very long bean pole and a dark lantern to knock our persimmons. We are generally right there on the trail camping ourselves. Amarillo, the Queen. Our pioneers paid a string of beads to the Indians for this beauti ful site and afterward won the beads back playing seven-up. It shows that our pioneers came not here for their health. They knew their business. They were sturdy Christian gentlemen, even willing to get the worst of it not. The Aborigine was their oyster. Our settlers were sterling men, born of that pluck, genius, endur ance and faith that can be resisted neither by kings nor cabinets. They were the people, as we are the stuff. Joyously they went afield to gather the remunerative buffalo hide, and brand a few mavericks on the side, often returning in impious haste, with their skins perforated by rustlers. No'w we do the rustling our celves and there are no such unmannerly occasions. The years have given us wisdom. In the early days we lived off the buffaloes and the emigrants; now we live off the railroads and each other. Soma day we will till the soil as it should be, and then much richness shall be ours. ' Just at present that is where we are short. But when the whirligig of time-shall bring us Judgment day, with all its joys enhanced, we will pause between Paradise and here, the semblance is so great, or ought to be. Night's velvety curtain like a winding 6heet, will woo us out to dream-land, which is so near the now and the then that the splendid days of our time shall melt the golden ages through. It won't even be held against us that we failed to plant trees when we should, and to build sidewalks until we became the laughing stock of the southwest. Amarillo, the Queen. Lake View Herd Of Red Polls During the Cuttlemen's Convention at Ainnrillo, Texas, April 10 ami 20, we will offer at auction fifteen nice young Red Polled Hulls, bred and raised on the Mains. All acclimated. These bulls are from the lest herds in the United States and are in perfect eoHdition, D. G. Pence & Son CLAUDE TEXAS J. M. RUSSELL COAL AND GRAIN Hay, Salt and Field Seeds. Wholesale Hour I I Phone V05 40 ia Polk St 60fiPolk Street 1 Amarillo. Texas Phone JJ I A 3sa r ..,- i 'i 1 1 , L Il........l.,.,.... r"1..,,,,,,, 1 . , 1 .