THE WEEKLY HEARLD DECEflBER 24, 1908
THE WEEKLY HERALD
Published weekly on Thursday
ft 1 rollc Street, Amarillo, Teiaa.
nr r. e. hoesen,
Entered at tbc Toitortlce at Amir
(Mo, Texas, as seco&d clasi tuall nat
ter. Official Organ of CHf of Amarlllo
and Potter Count
plsplay 20c per lord each Insertion.
I.ocala 10c par loch each InHerlloo.
SUBSCRIPTION 11.00 PER TEAR.
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advls ua at once by. card or tele
phone. Any erron reflecting upon the
character, standing or reputation of
any person, firm or corporation
whkh may appear In the cclu'nna of
Tbo Herald will be glodly corrected
upon Its being brought te the at-
tntlon of publUheri.
THURSDAY, DEC. 24, 1908.
McKlnney Courler-(a.ette: If thu
Thtrty-Ilrat legislature ;wanti to go
down In history a th very bent
there was ever, lot It Immortalize lt-
K'lr by flnluhing up Its work and
adjourning within thirty days. The
people will rle up and call you
blessed, gentlemen, If you "will but
Fort Worth , Telegram: Colonel
Tom Perkins, editor of the Courier
Gazette, will Hit In the Texai house
of lord. If Colonel l'erklni want
to be among those who receive the
blessings of the people of Texaa let
him on the opening day of the leg
islature introduce a hill providing
for nlne die adjournment within thir
ty days from that date. If he 1 not
lamous after performing tuts sluiit
then the world will fall to recognize
a genius when one shlneg with actual
'X. J. M." writing from New Mex
lo to the Panhandle Herald, "at
- tT some excitement," says:
"To the Editor of the Herald:
A you know I canio down here to
hunt beam, but the pesky bears did
not understand the object of uiy vis
it, because the flrHt (jay 1 got strayed
off by my lonesome, and I"
narrow canyon, ) met an old she
bear!, who, wsh apparently looking
for eomethlng; 1 seen at onre we
couldn't pass In that canyon without
a bear hug (and claws, not bear bugs
Is what I am after) I. In a perfectly
calm voice called on her to stop, but
she was a Mexican bear and didn't
understand! nor didn't atop either, so
Ndldn't knV what t0 do. I didn't
want to shoot her there In that nar
row path hecause I kuew I couldn't
carry her out as slie was bigger than
one of Frank Kelly's mules. Well,
I moved, and thought quicker than
I can tell this, and while 1 was
thinking I waa moving still faster
and the faster I moved the more Im
portant end hurried business that
bear seemed to hav In. the same di
rection J was going. My trip over
tbo miles of mountain path was made
to rapidly that I didn't get to nee
much of the., scenery, I would of
stopped and killed that bear before
I got to the camp, but I only had
e 30-50 rifle, two revolvers, a bowle
knife, a hatchet, a loaded whip han
dle, an old cleaver, an army musket
and a razor, When I got to camp
1 got pa and brother to go back with
ua to get that bear hide, claws sod
all, ibut we couldn't find anything but
a black Bailey mllkpen calf that act
ed awfully friendly and brother said
the. calf would follow anybody, and
it did look a little like a hear. Yours.
"X J. M."
The Abilene Reporter puts It this
way; We have noted with Interest
the proceedlngi of the Southern
Commercial congress and believe
that its work would do the South
good. But there are some expres
sions In the accounts of Iho session
which give a sentiment o revolting
to tho southerner as to fill one with i
misgivings os to the work of the
congress, and doubt Hi ability to
gain enough respect, financial assist
ance and co-operation to make any
material headway. Press dispatches
from Washington contain the follow
ing paragraph: "While this project
has no relation to politics, the pro
maters have been encouraged to un
dertake it by tbc belier that the be
ginning f tfee ?A adaUjOatration ,
will mark tb opening of such u
era of progress as the country bus
never known." It had Just as well
He understood rlKht now Hint the
southerner of today, a lit hux fcr
been. Is a timii of principle liiHtesd
of a mini of cold dollar, and If he
takes s piny at "loudyliiK" to tli
powers (list be to get our share of a
just (llttrll)iitl(in of ni t mil Increased
proopci iiy, tli,, .South will stand for
principal and let the dollars mo, The
Idcu of the men of the .South tnduy
coin ting favors ut Hie bunds of a
party whose past record shows the
parentage 0f ln carpel bag govern
mem.. A parly which In the control
of th' ii m 1 1 on ii I government has
shown kikIi i:irtl:illt y In extending
its Infliienn1 ii aid development a
stale ! ri It 1 ii like ho favorably sit
uated a.; to tin iiatiiivil udv.iiitnxcs a.
Uiohc of the .South, lirouglit up to a
noi'lnul i tut,, of development, while
Hi Bleu of the South, more favorably
situated us to n. -it unil advantage l'i
every manner possible have gone
comparatively without recognition
No, tne South 1h nol ready to llk the
hand Uiul .ha. uiot I on every oc
casion, but there Is u no era dawn
ing and when fclvcn mi opportunity
will dtriPlpnte'aM Idea that the Sout'i
of today Ih u it linureKutlon of fr -e
traders. On the oilier baud, being
so well located j to manufacturing
Ih for tariff for revenue, and for tar
iff for protection, too, and for Am
erican manufacturing, and for the
protection of American labor, but
not for a tariff that will furnish op
portunity of unreasonable and
harmful combines and trusts
Henuniont Enterprise: When John
Mitchell staled before, the mining
congreHs that Hie small consumer of
the output of the iiiIiwh paid too
much, and the lniRe conHiimer not
enough, he stutej a fact that should
be changed, and It does not apply
simply to the coal btiHliiPHS alone,
but In every line of trade, it I a
mystery as "to why the small buyer
should bu tuxod extra because he Is
the siiiiill dealer, but It Is a condition
that bus long existed. The poor
widow, buying coal by the bushel, to
keep her children warm, puyH far
more in proportion ror It than lie
who buya a tou. This extra charge
is generally out of all proportion to
whatever cost there may be in the
handling. In New York, whore. In
the y.ero weather of their winter
there are thousands of families who
do not see money enough nt one time
to buy, more.Jhuu a bushel of coal
at one time, tljp man who cun buy a
ton will perhaps get it for five dol
lars and have It delivered, while the
man who buys-a bwdiel will pay at
the rti't of IK.Io 115 and have to go
and fetch It. Of course. It may be
said that this Is a hid for business,
but It would seem that. In the race
for business, In this Instance at least
equity and fairness were overlooked.
If It Is morally wrong for flie Stand
ard Oil company to accept rebates
from rallrouds for Its larger volume
of business thus putting its com
petitors at a disadvantage, s u not,
then, morally wrong ror the man who
ibuys x ton or a carload of coul to
accept a rebate on his larger pur
chase, which places tho poor widow
at a disadvantage. t Is the bnslc
prluclplo of the . Ainerlcun govern
ment that each und every citizen
shall be given any equal chance, yet
how orteu, In every, day ilfe, do we
overrule that principle.
Roswell Record: President Roose
velt has added another bunch of
names to, his Ananias list, amoug
those the edftor of the Sew York
Sun, who Intimate., that the presi
dent is the nin li who Is dodging the
truth. If Teddy keeps on he will
have tin rut Ire .country on his list
and be will be occupying a lonely
but Cuunpicuous position.
SAXTA t 'LAI'S LMTTFRS.
lleit. are more letters from Amur
Rio children to Sunt Cluu. Mucli
letter list Im-cu seut to Sunt ('Ihiih
In his far-away home; and endi tot
will be sine to Ret nil the presents
asked, If the tilings don't jilve i
and Hint Is i.ol likely, as Santu (Tuns
always brings a big lot with him.
N .Miss KOXA IlKK o;.
Dear Sauta Clans: 1 want a tri
cycle, a doll and a set of dishes, and
that Is all. . .
I am T years old.
EDNA BEE ONG. .
Amarillo, Tex., Dec. ll. 1908.
MISS CLARA HAR.MOX.
Dear Santa: -Will you please bring
me a doll and some tin dishes and
a little broom.
With love from ; .
CHILD ACCIDENTAIJ.V KILLED.
teevllle, Tex., Dec. IB, At Dln.ro
IK inllea went of here, the 4-year-ij
daughter of K, C. Goodwin wan
accidentally killed. The child waa
v I h i t n r at tli home of 1). Johnson,
H neighbor. A Hon of the latter hud
returned from btiNtlng, leaving bis
gun at the barn, near where the chil
dren were playing. One of them, a
little girl 9 years of age, picked up
the gun and attempted to unload It,
the piece being discharged and the
full load Milking the little (ioodwln
girl In the face, killing her InatanHy.
S H 1 : 1 I M A X INDIE fere X T.
.Slirriniin, Texas, Itec. IS. A npe-
clal el etlon lH lielng held here today
to dedde whether to Inaiigurate a
co in in IhhIou lorni of govern nifiit. Tho
vote mii for ' light mid the iphiiIi Is
SIS I I, Its Ol MKS. ( UtTW KMill I'
not iixi'it ti:i to i.ivi:.
One In l ull Woiili mul One In (al
Ifoniln iM C'litlciil Coudiiion.
Information rent-he,, Aumrlllo to
day to the effer that Mrs. David
Turk U materially Improve. I from
effect,, of a critical Illness ul Can
yon City. Sliu is the daughter of
Dr. und Mrs. Cartwrlght, and the
news of her Improvement will bo re
ceived with gluduess by all who know
her. Mrs. Cartwrlght while hopeful
over thu condition of her daughter.
Is depressed by reason of a mensuge
from Fort Worth, telling of the dy
Ing condition of her sister Mrs.
Yates. Another sister, Mrs, Cun
nlnxliAm who went to California sev
eral months ago for tho benefit of
her health, Id not expected to live.
On account of 111 seriousneBs of
Mr. Park's condition Mrs. Cart
wright, is kept at Canyon City and
will not be able to attend tu( bed
side of ell lior of her sisters. All of
tho ladliM who ar suffering are well
known In Amarillo,
( ItlTICISKS IIOOSKYIXT.
Mditor ut Commoner Says, "lu
Rest of Spirit," President Is
Xot Famous for his
Lincoln. N'el)., Dec. 19.
Culling President Roosevelt 111
munnered and cruel in his stric
ture,) 0n public men from whom
be differs, William .1. Hryan. In
his Commoner of this week, will
discuss what, ho terms the "in-
suit" to congress by the presi-
dent lu that part of his message
dealing with the secret service.
Mr. Bryan adds:
"It must be ntfmitted that the
language employed by Mr.
Roonevell waa uncalled for and
unbecoming a president's meg-
suge. But Mr. Roosevelt Is not
and we say It In the best of
splrlt-'-famons for lila good
manners. Ills chief boast In
tbut he Is Hie apostle of the
'sqnure deal,' anj yet on many
notable occasions he has been
guilty of cruel Injustice In deal ing
with his fellows. He has
pesdlessly and wantonly iusult
. ed many individuals, and al-
though the public has borne
this shortcoming patiently, It la
plain It Is now growing weary,"
CI, AHA HARMON',
Age 2 years.
MR. F.IYKTTK HARMON.
Dear Santa: Please bring me an
automobile, a train and some mar
Ainarlllo, Texr. Age & years.
MISS FF.RX HARMON'.
Dear Santa Clans: Please bring
me a dolr'with black hair and two
story books. From
Amarillo, Tex. Age 8 years.
Dear Santa Cluus: I am years
old. niy name In Bryan King. 1 llvo
In (Jinn wood on Walnut street. I
want a drum, a fire-wagon, an Iron
atitouiohlle and a little tool 'box. My
little brother, Joe King, wants a
drum, a monkey, a curly dog and
Bom0 building blocks. He is four
year old now. Santa Claus please
don't forget us. Yours truly,
BRYAN and JOE KIN'G,
Amarillo, Tex.,' December 13.
, MR. JACK HAGOKRT.
Dear Sapta Claus: I want a
sleigh, shooting gallery, and a tool
"ox, JACK HAGGERT.
Amarillo, Texas, .
HOOD BROWN GETS
CHANGE OF VENUE
To Annul rung County W here Alleg
ed Offenxr Is Nnltl to
In view of the fact that the dis
trict court meets at Claude early In
January, tiorneys for the defendant
In the case of the State or Texas vs
Hood Hrown mude motion yesterday
afternoon before Judge J. N. llrowu
I ii g for a change of venue to Arm
strong county where the alleged of
fense Is said to have occurred. The
i prayer was granted, it being shown
I that the law- contemplates an early
trial upon charges of the cliariicttr
under which Hood Drown Is held
The trial In tills city resulted In
a hentence of five years for the ac
( used, but a new. trial was granted.
bond furnlhlie, slid the accused re
leased from custody.
A nmlier bond wai made yesterday
forenoon, good In Armstrong count.-,
und the defendant, after a delay of
alnioKt a week In the county Jail In
Amarillo, returned to IiIh family at
Claude. So far as appeal's at thin
1 1 in o it seems probable that a trial
will lie had not later than the last
days of January In this case which
has attracted much attention both
In Potter and Armstrong counties.
IDA It AMKRICAX 1 1 F.b.' P.
French Agricultural Interests Op
pose Operations of Slaughtering
Concern at Havre.
Paris, Dec. 19. The protest of
the French agricultural Interests.
which have been fighting the con
cessions granted indirectly to Mr.
Kberou. representing a large Amer
ican slaughtering establishment In
Havre, culminated in -a demand in
the senate today by M. Oomok, repre
seining the agricultural group that
the government limit tho abbatolrs'
rtperatlonB to the district, wherein
they are located. M. Oomok declar
ed the French Interests feared the
establishment, If not restricted, will
cause to fluctuate at will the price
of beef and seriously affect the mar
ket. M. Kuan, minister of agriculture,
said the government accepted In prin
ciple the HmHatloa of ib -establishment's
pperatlons and . that this
would terv as a basis for later dis
MASONS AND PROFANITY.
Cleburne Enterprise; The Enter
prise is . pleased at the attitude of
the woi'fjhlpful grand master of the
grand lodge of Texaa Masons Just
retired, upon the matter of profan
ity among 'Masons. He urges that
a Mason be expelled for habitual pro
faulty. This disgusting habit is one
thai has no scintilla of excuse for
existing. It stanipB one us having
neglecte.l his educatiou, and being
careleBg of his associates. There is
no pleasure to bo derived from It like
other practices of men not Just In
accord with strict socJa't etiquette.
The most worshipful grand master '.s
right In his address, ( this point
is looked Into, more .carefully ,when
an application Is presented, many
men will hoed the effort of this an
cient order to rid Ha members of a
senseless and disgusting habit. The
use of profanity, like any other bad
habit, grows insidiously, getting a
firm hold upon on before he realizes
that he is In its grasp. Men do not
want to line profanity. They pick
ii up iy association, and they will
gladly welcome any helping hand to
usslts them in ridding themselves of
DINlNtJ CAR CHEF IS
VAXKEI) RY (iOVKRXMEXT..
Chicago. Dec. 19. Peter Ton-
ning, formerly clicf In a dining
car of the Rock Island, charged
with smuggling ,flve Chinese in-
to the United States, has been
arrested and held 'n $500
bonds. According to federal
authorities, August 15th, five
Chinese were found, concealed
in the kitchen of the dining car
of the Rock Island from El
MAY PENSION TEAMSTERS
IX WAR WITH MEXICO.
Washington. Dec. 1.r-If the bill
which Representative Alexander of
Missouri ha i Introduced becomes aj
f.HtU oicuaxizi: CI.l'U.
Much Interest Shown In New Organ
ization 'or med by lr, Dora
Wlthh Miss F.llen Masicy a( pres
ident and Miss Sudle Adams as sec
retary, a (lirls' Club was organized
at lh0 First, nnptlst church yester
day afternoon, with fifty members,
Tlili Ik but a temporary organization
for which permanency will be se
cured Sunday afternoon, December
27. The girls lu harge of this
movement hav0 undertaken the task
of working for a greater degree, of
social purity, and will later take up
special lines with tho growth und
development of the organr.atlon.
At the next meeting It Is the In
tention to huv4 by laws mid consti
tution offered for adoption. There
is a marked enthusiasm among thu
members of the club. The organi
zation win effected under the direc
tion of Dr. Dora Martin, who deliv
ered a helpful tusk to tba girls. Sho
found them ready and willing to un
dertake tho work. In which cause In
terest was shown from th0 start.
It is believed that, an organisation
of more than 100 members will be
the flnul result of the meeting to bo
had one week from tomorrow.
MAIL MAN CAN NOT FIND
SANTA ( LAI S THIS YEAH
Washington, Dec. 19. Po.t
master General Meyer announc
ed today be would not renew
bis order issued in December.
1 907, permitting delivery to
charitable organizations of let
ters addressed to "Santa
Numerous complaints have
been made to tho postmaster
general by many charitable or
ganizations that, owing to the
large number of such letters,
taken by the .various charities
while the order was in force, it
was not possible to investigate
each case, and that the presents
given out fell into the hands
of unworthy persons. Tho prac-
lice also was objected to on the
ground that It tended to make
beggarg of children. The post-
master genera, has directed
postmasters to treat thn "Santa
Claus" letters in accordance
with those sections of the postal
law which provide that lottera
bearing fictitious addresses
shall be sent to tho division of
dead letters. t
law. teamsters who were engaged ai"
such during the "war with Mexico
will be placed on the pension roll.
It Is urged that these men performed
essential service and In addition were
exposed to manv risks from Indians,
as well as the regular army. Com
paratively few of these teamsters
are living now. If recognition is
given them probably similar efforts
for drivers In the civil war will soon
AGED WOMAN' NARROWLY
ESCAPES 11EIXG CREMATED.
Hillsboro, Dec 19. Mrs. Henry
Evans, aged 76. narrowly escaped an
awful death late last night at her
home at Bynum. She was standing
near an open fireplace When her
clothing was Ignited. A granddaugh
ter, aged 15, smothered the flames
with a table cloth, saving the wo
man's life. She received only slight
THIS IS WORTH READINO. .
Leo. F. Zellnskl, of 68 Gibson St..
Buffalo, X. Y., says; "I cured the
most annoying cold sore I ever had
with B'icklen's Arnica Salve. I ap
plied this salve once a day for two
days, when every trace of the sore
was gone." Heals all sores. Sold
under guarantee at L. O. Thompson
& Co. '8 drug store. 23c.
CHILD SCALDED FATALLY.
Suyder, Tex., Deo. 19. The 3Vs-year-old
son of J. B. Buffalo, near
Snyder, fell backward Into a tub of
and CURE the LUNG3
w,th Dr. King's
MIK aT -wyuna av tins
' WOLDS TrW Btivifm
AND ALL THROAT AN0 LUNG TROUBLES.
OB MONET REFUNDED.
THE POOil WHIFFLET1T.
nd the Low Down Trick by Which It
Seating himself at a restaurant ta
ble, Chicago mm as Id:
"Walter, what kind of fish hTe
"Oh," isld the waiter, "all kluds
whltrflsh, bluetlsh, graylings, aei bass,
weak fish, perch"
"Pshaw!" yawned the customer. "Cut
tint out. I'm fired of those common
flshr.i. Ain't yon got some new kind
of fish some kind I never ate before?"
"Well," said the waiter, "the wblf
flelifa la very fine this morning."
"What In thunder U a whlnVtlt?"
"Why, doesu't a fish sharp like yon
know what a whllHetlt Is? Common
enough here. You see, the whlffletlt
lives only In clrmlar lakes. You go
out and Mud a circular lake and hire
a bout. Tlieu you row out all alone
) to the middle of the Inks, about mile
or so, and anchor. Then you take an
augnr aud bore a hole In the water
sud bait It by putting a piece of cheese
on the edge of the bole. The whillle
tit comes up to get the chese, rats It.
and It makes lilm swell np so that he
enn't back down the hole,"
"Well," said the customer, breath
less, "what then?"
"Why," replied the waiter as he
filled a glass of wnter, "you lean over
the aide of the boat und laugh the
whlffletlt to death. Want a few?"
A LUCKY ESCAPE.
Thrilling Experience of a Cyclist en a
A Dr. Barn was cycling down the
pass near ''osclieuen, in Switzerland,
w hen bis brake snapped and the ma
chine darted forward at terrific speed.
At the foot of the mountain Is a bridge
spanning a deop river gorge. The phy
sician tried to gulda his flying machine
on the bridge, but the front wheel
truck a side wall, aud he was flung
over the parapet. Whlie falling through
the air he caught a chain hanging from
a girder. The momentum of his body,
suddenly arrested, nearly wrencb.ee: his
grip loose, bwt he whs a strong man
nd kept ate hold. While iwinglDg la
midair suspended over the raging river
and unable to Improve bis perilous
position nn automobiln came chugging
down tho pass. The hapless man
shouted for help, but be could not bu
seen from the bridge, and bis cries
were drowned by the noise of the mo
tor and the sound of the river. A few
minutes after the automobile had pass
ed a carriage drove across the bridge.
Again be cried out for help, but in
vain. The awful strain on arms and
lingers was becoming Intolerable, and
the doctor was about to drop Into thu
torrent to nn Inevitable deuth when
two peasants enme by and kiiw him.
They flung a noose over hi in ami pulled i
him up. He fainted and was Ul fur a
long time. Strand Magazine.
The way lu w hich loine artists en?
distort features without making them
unrecognizable Is certainly very" re
markable. Thomas N'ast possessed
this faculty to nn extraordinary de
gree, and he had a very peculiar way
of adding new faces to his mental
photograph gallery. When a fresh
subject, would arise In politics, for In
itauce, be would invent some pretext
to call upon blin at bis office or house
and bold him In conversation as long
as possible, studying his features.
When he took his departure he would
purposely leave bis cane. Once out
Bide, Nast would make a hasty prcc',1
sketch on a card and would usually
find that his memory was deficient as
to aome detail. Ha would U en return,
ostensibly for the cane, and another
look at the victim would enable him
to perfect bis iketch. After that be
had the man forever. When Joe Eep
pler wai alive he used to make fre
quent trips to Washington for the par
pose of seeing statesmen whom be
wanted to draw. He was very clever
at. catching likonessea and scarcely
ever referred to a photograph.
A Wonderful Bird
One day a wonderful bird lapped at
the wludow of Mrs. Nansen'i (wife of
the famous arctic explorer) home at
Cbristlaiila. Instantly the wlodow wnf
opened, and lu another moment she
covered the little mcssenyer with
kisses aud caresses. The currier pi
geon bad been away from the cottage
thirty long mouths, but It had not for
gotten the way home. It brought a
note from Nansen. stating tlnit all was
going well with biin and his expedition
In the polar region. Nausea bad fasten
ed a message to the bird and turned It
loose. . The frail courier darted out
into the bll.zardly air. It flew like an
arrow over a thousand mllei cf frozen
waste and then sped forward over an
other thousand miles of ocean and
plain and forests and on morning
entered the window of the waiting
mistreat and delivered the message
which ah had been awaiting so anx
Would Let Folk! Know It.
Somebody sent this to the loclety
editor and made affidavit that It really
Here It Is: They were out at an aft
ernoon card party, A stout woman
dropped a card to the floor. "Would
you be to kind ns to pick up that card
tof met-" she Inquired of the little wo-
boillng water and, from the effects
of the burns he died at an early hour
yesterday morning. The mother
was washing and the child playing
when the accident occurred.
man ut her right.
"Certainly," inld the actommci ting
wnmau at tbo right, picking . ,. the
"You lee," explulned the atout wro
man apologetically, "Pre got on a
brand new fifty dollar conet, and I re
afraid I'll strain It If I lean over."
"Hum!" commented tho other wo
man enviously, "If 1 had a fifty dol
lar corset I'd wear It on the outside.
I . rtally wonld." Cleveland Plain
Mm. Geoff rln'i Huiband.
Mme. Oeoffrln, like moat rrenchwa
oen, bad the gift of making phrase.
When Rulblere had read In her salon
a work upon Russia, which iho feared
might Involve him In dlfflcnltles, the
offered him a sum of money to burn
It. The author wared wroth at the In
sinuation Implied and broke out lutn
an eloquent sertlon of bis courigs
and ludepeutlence. Hhe listened pa
tiently and then In a quiet tone of
voice snld, "Hnw much mere do you
want. M. Rulhlere?" Sbe married at
the iik of fourteen M. Oeoffrln, a
wealthy glass manufacturer and lieu
tenant colonel of the national guard.
Ills duty as husband seems to have
been to provide the fiuida for her so
cial enmpaigus and to watch over the
details of the menage. It Is related of
him tbnt some person gave blui a his
tory to read aud when he aked for
the successive volumes regularly
palmed off npou him tbo first, Ya If it
were new. At lust ho was heard to
say that he thought the nuthok "re-
peated himself a little." A book pVlnt
rd In doable columns he read straUht
across the page, remarking that "It
aeemed to be very good, but was rath
er abstract." Oue day n visitor In-
quired after the silent, white haired
old gentleman who was In the habit
of sitting at tbo bead of the table.
"Oh, ho was my husband," replied
Mme. Oeoffrln, "beforo be died!"
Bird That Make Incubator.
in the Incobator the palo yellow
chicks, their soft down not yet quite
dry In places, fell lu their attempts to
rise and walk, like meu dead drunk.
"There' another," said the chicken
farmer as an excited little head rsme
out of an egg. "Wonderful things,
these Incubators. Would you believe
that there's a bird that make- tliern?
"Ye, sir; a bird, the megapotle,.'
makes its own Incubator every time le,
has a nest of eqgs. It Isn't bothered,
tike other birds, with the long and,
monotonous work of sitting.
"The megapode hells from Australia.)
the Parrler reef country. Its Incubs l
tor Is a simple affair, merely a great j
mound, of leaves, in theso leaves it,'
buries its eggs, knowing that In that;
hot, moist climate the leaves will fer
ment aud In their fermentation give
off Just enongh heat to hatch the
"Who can deny Intelligence to thlajj
bird, which makes Its own lnculator-.
to hatch out. Its own eggs?" New Or-'
leans Times Democrat. !
"Belling th Cat."
"Won will bull the est?" I a rurl
ous old proverb, fnnious In parable nnd
In history.' The mice, nays the para
ble, held a .consultation how to secure
themselves from the cat, and they re
solved to bang a belt about the cats
neck to give warning when she ap
proached, but after tbey bad resolved
ou doing It. tbey tvero ns far 0f la
ever, for who would do It? ' . ,
Both parable and proverb hate Im
mortalized themselves In history.
Vvticn the Scottish nobles met at Stir
ling In a body they proposed to take
Hpence, the obnoxious favorite of
James II., and bang him and so get
rid of him.
"Ah," skid Lord Grey, "thafa very
well said, but who'll bell the cat?"
"That will I," said the black Earl
Angus. He undertook the task, accom
plished it and waa called "Archibald
Hell the Cat" until his dying-day.-Olaigow
A Queer Ceniu.
"Wheu I was last in India." said the
globe trotter, "they were taking the
census. The returns were most re--markable.
in the Allahabad census
thirty-five citizens described ;hetn
elves as 'men who rob with threat
of violence.' There were 2"i 'fiuttcr
ers for gain.' There were twenty-five
'hereditary thieves.' There were tweu-ty-nino
'howlers at funerals.' There
were 145 'ear cleaners.' There were
seventy-six 'makers of crowns fpr
Idols.' There were fourteen 'heredi
tary painters of horses with apoti.
There were nine 'professional false
"It seems remarkable, doesn't RT
Maybe, though, if we, too, told the
strict truth to the census taker our
own ceusus would seem quite as quaint
as that of India."
"Xow. boys." suld a schoolmaster;
"a cabman who drove at the rate of
six miles on hour left London, being
followed three minutes later by anoth
er driver proceeding at the rate of
seven miles an hour. Where would
tbey meet?" . i
"At the nearest public bouse!" an
awered a promising scholar.-London
"Look here." said the office boy, "I
thlif the boss ought to gimme a bit
ei thin we!t. but I goes he won't.!!
"What orV ais'ied the bookkeeper.
Tor overtime. I w uz dwnmln' about ,
me work all los' nlfjlit. London
Truth. , '. ;
( ' ....
r, . aft 4 n n mvfM- -tMfrw
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