8
SAN ANTONIO LIGJf AND GAZETTE
Founded January 20. 1881,
Kvenln* Daily. Members Associated Press. Sunday Morning
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10 IMIiIHM OF mpram SAN ANTONIO
The Reception
at Khartoum
__— ————— ■■■—— where he stopped yesterday
on his way back to the United States. Hundreds of news
paper men, magazine writers and correspondents from every
quarter of the globe were there. In fact, many engaged
launches at enormous figures to go up the river to meet him
that they might be the first to send back word from the re
turning hunter. The British were astonished and cannot, ac
cording to dispatches, understand why such tremendous im
portance seems to attach io the utterances and homecoming
of the ex-president..
Not alone is the band of writers at Khartoum interested.
The whole world was waiting to hear that first Roosevelt
word, hoping that when it came it would give some inkling of
his purposes. But Roosevelt on all matters political has
proved himself the equal of that taciturn statue which for
ages has stood on the banks of the Nile, a symbol of silence.
When Roosevelt was met (and this paper was fortunate in
being one of the few to score a beat on the first interview
through the Newspaper Enterprise Association) he said
nothing at all to alarm or reassure the political gods that be.
His refusal was full of grim snggestiveness; it meant to
those at Washington, to whom his coming is fraught with
many posible perils, that he had something to say, but await
ed a more favorable time. These folk are not at all re
assured.
Khartoum is one of the outposts of civilization, but at that
outpost Roosevelt begins a triumphal journey to New York.
Various nations along the route will kindle the fires of ex
pectation and others will fan it until, when he lands on
American soil again, he will receive the greatest welcome
ever accorded any American returning to his native land.
Already the atmosphere is snapping with expectancy.
When he does come home—when he is actually here—what
then? Not long ago there was earnest consideration given to
the question of what we should do with our ex-presidents.
Today it has lost its pertinence because Roosevelt will settle
the problem for us in his own way. And what “that way”
shall be is giving many gentlemen high in power some sleep
less nights and unpleasant days.
To lay the dust? Aye, that’s the question. ’Twere better
far we had less streets and had them nicely sprinkled than
many streets in fine concretes and lungs with dust all
wrinkled
There are some credulous people who believe that the
Standard Oil company if dissolved by the decision of the
supreme court, will actually dissolve into thin air and be no
more.
The hoinescekers seem to show no signs of stopping. They
still come by the trainload to the land of promise and ful
fillment, which is Texas.
It’s cheaper to buy one automobile for the fire chief every
ten years or so then ten expensive horses, eo probably the
San Antonio chief will have to learn the mysteries of car
buretors, ignition and gears.
That fat stock show at Fort Worth was a sort of political
barbecue at which Campbell and Davidson were verbally
Slaughtered to make a holiday for the cattlemen. Someone
did some very fine advertising work, but as yet the cattle
men's show has not degenerated into a political convention
to boost the candidacy of one Cone Johnson.
What
Will Teddy Do?
are being loaded with letters to him from the “interests”
and tho friends of the “interests.”
When he strikes civilization he will have tons of such tes
timony to the effect that Taft is all right. Aldrich all
Tight, Cannon all right, the tariff all right, and the Roose
velt policies all right. But, somehow, the party is not all
right. A forceful element in it is denouncing these things
which the “interests” say are all right, and there is dan
ger of a democratic victory at the congressional elections.
Certain interests are demanding that Teddy stump tho
country; that, for party’s sake, he indorse the rascally tar
iff, Aldrich, Cannon, Ballinger, Taft’s mistakes and weak
nesses, the betrayal of Rooseveltian policies and the whole
miserable record of tho congress and the administration as
made up to dlte.
What will Teddy do!
If he accepts the letters of the interested as the voice of
the people, if he ie so small that party has first call on him,
if ho can be fooled and used as Taft has been, he will stump
the country for or otherwise indorse “ stand-patism ” with
ail that that means in the way of oppression and graft.
Not only will tons of letters meet Teddy, but private emis
saries of the tmsts have been sent to him. Every sucker
ct the public pap crib is already roaring that everything is
all right and within six weako every party organ will be
shrieking for Teddy to go forth and save the status quo
which ie threatened.
What will Teddy dot
Really it is to be a very severe test of one whom the no
thin has looked upon ac a very big man. Watch what
Teddy ducal
THURSDAY,
What a marvelous tribute
to the personality of Roose
velt is the reception that
awaited him at Khattoum,
What will Teddy do? |
You see what they’re going'
to try to do to him, don’t |
you?
The transatlantic mails
Do yon know what is the
_ , _ most popular literature in
Literature Bows tho worldt
to the Children Children’s stories.
■ — Yes, children's stories —
not deep hut fanciful, not serious but light, not real but
playing-at.
Thousands of authors have come to realize this. Children s
master pieces are few. but what complete successes they are!
The popularity of Shakespeare is as nothing to that of
Mother Goose. Thackeray and Dickens and Hugo compete
in vain with the unknown authors of “The Arabian Nights,”
which has been translated into more different tongues than
any book in the world except tho Bible. Name any grown
ups' romance you will —and Lewis Carroll's “Alice in Won
derland” will be voted tho more widely admired. Mark
Twain’s best loved book is his “Tom Sawyer,’ and you
will notice that he tried to write a good many more that
would take hold as well as that one did. For children s
classics are IT—if they make good.
.Publisher
Hundreds of modern writers are vying to produce chil
dren’s “stuff,” but the successes are few and far between.
But the success, when it comes, is well worth the effort. Chil
dren love nonsense —it is part of their lives. And whole
some nonsense is good for them. It stimulates the imagina
tion, which becomes dulled all too soon in this sordid, prac
tical age. Nonsense relieves the painful realities of life.
It is the essence of play. It is also a tonic and a balm.
One of the most facile writers of children’s stories and
verse is Edmund Vance Cgoke. He has put his hand to a
series of stories which will begin to run daily in The Light
and Gazette tomorrow, under the title of The Story Club.
Thev are excursions into make-believe realms which should
interest children of all ages, and best of all, they have the
refreshing element of linmor.
The Light and Gazette hopes its younger readers will be
gladdened by The Story Club—and the older folks, if they
are good, may sit and listen, too.
The firemen must have put up a pretty strong bluff. The
railroads came across at the last moment and now the coun
try is to be spared the agony of an enlarged Philadelphia ex
hibitiou of pig headedness.
Timothy Woodruff of New York seems destined to win
fame other than that attaching to the man who wears the
loudest vest—no. it’s waistcoats —in the Nnited States. He
is showing Mr. Root who is who in New York politics.
The claims of the Wrights to priority in the matter of the
vital principles o- the aeroplane may be more serious than
was at first supposed. With the Wrights in absolute control
of basic patents there would be cessation of invention and
the arrival of the real flying machine might be indefinite!)'
delayed. The science of aerial navigation is too young and
too,important to be tied up in private ownership for persona!
profit at this moment. A free field and we’ll all be flying
in five years.
It unit' seem strange to H. Clay Pierce to be able to come
to Texas without having to dodge sheriffs, writs and ar
rest. Ho paid for his freedom and everyone hopes that he
enjoys it. It’s a terrible thing to be barred out of Texas.
A sriwlarly, fatherly, eontented-looking old gentleman is
Thomas Garfield, of Hudsonville. Mich. He is the oily
brother of President James A. Garfield. At the ago of 87
he is well and happy. He has resided on the same farm
near Hudsonville for more than 40 years, and has not left
home for over a. dozen times since he moved there. He is
unknown outside his immediate neighborhood, does not seek
publicity, and likes to bo called a -plain farmer. Ho never
went to Washington, although he was invited by his brother
to make his home at the capital city, lie never had the
advantage of an education. He carried his brother to school
on his shoulder when the snow was too deep for tho future
president to walk, and worked from daylight till dark tn
order to earn money to support his mother, sister, anl
brother. lie took care of James till he got through the
high school, and then got his life insured, which carried
him through college. “My duty was to stay at home and
run the farm.” declares Mr. Garfield, “and I did it. James
was a politician from the time he was a little fellow. He
was a natural orator, and had the best memory of any man
I ever know. He could listen to a discourse and repeat it,
and once we heard him working out a sum in algebra in -vis
sleep. When ho got up in the morning he wrote it out.”--
Leslie’s.
ARMY’S TUBERCULOSIS HOSPITAL.
“The United States war department is maintaining at
Fort Bayard, near Silver City, N. M., one of the greatest
hospitals for tuberculosis patients in the world,” said Mr.
H. A. Martin, a banker of tho above-named town, at the
Rennert.
“The inmates of tho institution are limited, of course, to
the officers and men of the regular army who arc victims
of the disease, and the total attendance now is, I think,
between <5OO and 700. The location of the hospital is excep
tionally fortunate, as the dry New Mexican climate is es
pecially good for those whose lungs arc affected. Money
has been spent with liberality and good judgment in making
the place what it now is—an ideal sanitarium. The build
ings are on a grand scale and the surrounding grounds are
beautiful. The accepted treatment of fresh air and a maxi
mum/of nutritious food is followed, with the result that
many of tho patients recover entirely.
“This is nearly always the' case if they are lucky enough
to go to Fort Bayard before the disease makes too great
inroads in the constitution. A dry climate, plenty of fresh
air, and good food in abundance can be relied upon to miti
gate the evils of consumption, if not to effect a cure.”—
Baltimore American.
Men are just as fickle as women, but they have fewer
opportunities to show off.
Occasionally the peacemakers fight for the credit of hav
ing brought about peace.
No man ever loved his wife’s relations so much that be
was willing to dio for them.
■When a girl has more than one beau all her married
women friends tell her sho is taking desperate chances.
Fine feathers do not make fine birds. If a fellow is a
jay, all the feathers in the world will not disguise the feet.
—Chicago News.
—
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
Red hair is good for 50 generations.
The best get-rich-quick scheme is to marry it.
There’s nothing more expensive than having children,
and that s why everybody does.
The first woman a man makes love to he’s worried fcr
' fear she won’t believe him; the next ones he’s scared to
I death for fear they will.
The average man is so seif-satisfied about his understand
ing public affairs that he will decide a filing is unconstitu
tional when he has never read a line of the Constitution. —
Naw York I’resa
As Others View If
STAYED ON THE FARM.
Pointed Paragraphs
SAN ANTONIO LIGHT AND GAZETTE
•■••■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ a
ALL SORTS |
Copyright, 1909, by
Post Publishing Co. J
By NEWTON NEWKIRK.
GOING UP!
Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the
fiddle!
The cow jumped over the moon!
The Beef Trust laughed to see beef
go up
While 1 made a meal on a prune.
—VINCENT 11. DUNNING.
Josh Wise Says:
“Speech is a wonder
ful thing. A baby can
say a word an' it's
mother un’erstan’ it as a
whole sentence; an’ th’
baby’s mother kin say a
whole sentence an’ not
say anything at all.”
HOW TO MANAGE A HUSBAND.
i A confidential communication has
come to me from a highly respectable
married woman, who wishes me to give
her some advice on how to manage her
husband. This is by no means the first
communication of its kind which I have
received. It would probably surprise
and amaze you in the extreme if you |
could but know how many married
ladies write trustingly to me in an ef- ,
fort to secure information which will i
enable them to manage their husbands
in the way they should be managed. If
the demands for this brand of informa
tion keep up, I can readily see how it
will become necessary for me to start a
correspondence school which will teach :
this art and thereby make every mar- !
ried woman the mistress of her own .
household.
My correspondent in this case states
that she has been married scarcely two
years, yet in this brief time, she says,
he r husband has shown strong signs of
insubordination. She tells me that be
fore she was married she could take
her future husbapd and twist him
about her little finger. She says that
in those delightful sweetheart days her
lightest fancy was to him a command.
Even after the wedding and while the
honeymoon was yet in full bloom, she
still had him under her mistressful
thumb —he would “lead” beautifully,
or “hie on” at her word of command,
or “haw” or “geo” when she told him
to, and when she left him in one place
and told him to stay there until she re
turned, he always obeyed her like the
faithful husband he was.
But alas, the tables are now turned,
and if I can read between the lines of
this wretched woman's letter the tables
are often overturned. She says she
doesn't know what it is to have her
own wav any more, and sho wants me
to tell her what she shall do about it.
Madam, I am sure you are a woman
of good judgment an<J discernment, for
otherwise you might have gone to some
other source for this information. 1
can give you pointers on how to man
age a husband, which no woman friend
of yours could ever do. It takes a mot
to tell vou how to manage a man—it
takes a thief to catch a thief—on sec
ond thought I am not sure but that
“thief” comparison is odious, but you
will understand what I mean.
Every man possesses a share of some ;
tiling which he will not admit he has,
and that is vanity. Now, if every mar
ried woman were clever enough to real
izc how vain her husband is. and would
take advantage of it, a married man
would really have no show at all. In
stead of openly and frankly opposing
him in anything, flatter him —tell him
1.0 is the brightest, smartest, brainiest,
handsomest husband any woman ever
had. Then stand off and watch him
throw out his chest until his shirt but
tons begin to snap pff. If you want
monev, don’t remind him how generous
Mrs Smith’s husband is. but tell your
husband how generous "HE is, and what
a pusillanimous tight wad Mrs. Smith s
husband is. and presently his hesitating
‘ fingers will begin to wander toward his
roll.
After a little practice in managing
your husband you will become profici
ent in the art—you will arrive at that
stage where without argument or acri
mony you will be able to make your
husband do precisely as you wish him to
do, and the joke of it will be that all
the time he will imagine that he is the
boss and is having his own way in ev
erything. When you have attained this
you have reached the acme in the art as
a connubial directress. When you can
manage him and yet leave him under
j the impression that he is managing yon,
I you will be perpetually “It.”
Men, when they get together, often
talk about women not being man’s
equal. Gee, that always makes me
laugh. The average woman knows more
about the weaknesses of the average
man in a minute than he will ever know
concerning the “Everlasting Question”
in a month of Sundays.
A PRECOCIOUS OFFICER.
Speaking of the recent shake-up in
the Boston police force and the shift
ing of officers which resulted, a Boston
newspaper has the following to say con
-1 cerning tho record of Sergeant Crowley,
'promoted to a lieutenancy:
“The lieutenant was born in South
’ Boston January 18, 1886. He went to
; the South Boston public schools and was
appointed a reserve man on December
13 1888. A year later he became a pa
trolman, and' in December, 1885, he
went to headquarters. lu 1897 ho went
to Station 5, and two and one-half
years ago he went to Joy street.
Here is an instance which goes to
show that true merit wins, and that
when n man is cut out to be on the po
lice force there is no holding him
down.
When he was less than three years
old Crowley became a reserve man. and
at four years of age a full-fledged pa
trolman. Then in December, 1885 (a
month before he was born), he went to
headquarters. At the age of 11 years
wo find him at Station 5. _
| The attention of other cities is call
' ed to this proud record of Lieutenant
| Crowley. Is there any other city po
lice force in this country can produce
a roan who has advanced sc rapidly as
Tightwaddo the Monk.
pObservanf Citizen [
“I saw a funny home run made at a
baseball game the other day, very few
of which, I guess, are made during
a season,” remarked Observant Citizen
at a fanning bee.
Immediately he was the central figure
of the group, and as baseball fans are
always ready to fall for a new tip on
the game a chorus of “Who made it?”
went up from the crowd.
“Well, the home run I have refer
ence to was made by a very small boy.
Funny thing about it was ne was play
ing first base at the time he made it.
Just as he was shouting at the top of
his voice. 'Hurry up, throw the ball!’
who should appear on the scene but the
young man's father, a prominent law
yer. who was opposed to his boy play
ing baseball.
“The old gentleman had a big walk
ing stick in his hand, and no soonet
did he get within sight of the young
ball player than the latter dropped the
ball and his glove and made a bee-line
for home. I tell you it was the swiftest
homer I ever mjw and I never have seen
one like it made in a ball game.”
SAN AHTONIO 21 YEARS AGO
(From the Light March 15, 1889.)
The engagement of Miss Fannie True
heart of this city to ex-Governor An
tonio Canales of the state of Tamauli
pas, Mexico, is announced.
Willie Wurzbach, son of Judge Wurz
bach, a law student at the Texas uni
versity, is visiting friends in the city.
There will be a meeting tonight at
the Turn Verein to discuss the project
of building ladies’ parlors as an addi
tion to their hall.
Miss Fannie M. Lunsford of Waco,
sister of John Lunsford, editor of the
Times, is visiting Professor Cheeseman
and wife on Olive street.
There will be a meeting of the Little
Joker baseball club tonight.
Joe Gallager is the champion whistler
of San Antonio.
The San Antonio Blues and the Dixies
will play ball Sunday at the Springs.
Joe Halamuda will be buried from
his home on East Commerce street to
morrow morning.
City Collector Rischc has extended
the time for the payment of taxes until
the end of tho month.
A horse attached to a buggy driven
by General Russ ran away at West End
yesterday afternoon.
NEW NATURE’LESSON.
“Every one of God's creatures is
here for a useful purpose. Now, what
do we learn from the mosquito, Tom!”
asked a teacher, trying to evolve the
word patience.
“We learn from the mosquito.” an
swered Tom. “how easy it is to get
stung.”—Life.
the lieutenant? Is there any other city
which can produce an officer who was
working faithfully on his beat a month
before his arrival in this vale of tears?
‘Oonnght l#tO b> tb- ■ York tnatM Joonti ftminT •
Texas Talk
Down in MexiOS some fellows
thought a corner on the corn sup
ply would be a good thing. The
government promptly shipped in
many train loads of corn from the
states, which it sold to the people
at cost, and the corner was busted,
from which we would judge Senor
Diaz would not be very popular in
some circles if he were the govern
ment of the United States instead
of “Barbarous Mexico.”—Beeville
Bee.
Such barbarous treatment of bur
high financiers would not be tolerated
in this enlightened country.
BUILDERS.
It is announced that Roger C.
Sullivan of Illinois looks with
favor on Texas and regards Hon.
Chas. A. Culberson as excellent
presidential material. Roger C.
Sullivan and his coterie Tegard
Texas as a western Let it
go at that, but the Times-Herald
has its own opinion. Texas is
neither a western state, a southern
state, a northern state nor “a
shriveled localism” state. Texas
is an empire and its people hail
from the land of everywhere. It
is going to rid itself of its dema
gogues and its peanut agitators.
Texas will astonish the world in
the building line. —Dallas Times-
Herald.
Especially when it gets to construct
ing something out of its presidential
timber.
M. Deuce, one of the liquidators
of the confiscated church property
in Paris, is short $2,000,000 in his
accounts and all the returns are
not in. Deuce fad was women and
he stole from the state to buy dia
monds and houses for his feminine
pets. As the state stole the prop
erty Deuce no donbt felt that Ue
had a perfect right to do some loot
ing on his own account. —Dallas
Times-Herald. \
Some paragraphers will seize upon
M. Dence as the subject for their wit.
All went into the jack pot. Deuce> of
a fellow among tho women, is now a
two spot, etc. Come on, boys, get busy.
BEAT US THERE.
The Cuban government is ac
cused of having shamefully neglect
ed the national insane asylum and
its inmates. The patients in the
institution are believed to be al
most ns bad as the. insane persons
in Texas jails.—Galveston News.
They won’t stand for it there; here
we are more or less complacent, hence
Cuba has reached a higher stage of
civilization than
IN MEXICO.
A CHANCE.
MARCH 15, 1910.
Little Stories
ASKED TO CHOOSE.
A well known southern judge revives
a story about a white man, who, during
reconstruction times was arraigned be
fore a colored justice of the peace for
killing a man and stealing his mule. It
was in Arkansas, near the Texas border,
and there was some rivalry between the
states, but the colored justice tried al
ways to preserve an impartial frame of
mind.
“We’ve got two kinds ob law in dis
yer co’t,” he said; “Texas law an’ Ar
kansas law. Which will you hab?”
The prisoner thought a minute, and
then guessed that be would take the Ar
kansas law.
“Den I discharge you fo’ stealin’
de mule, an’ hang you fo’ killin’ de
man.”
“Hold on a minute, judge,” said the
prisoner. “Better make that Texas
law.”
“All right; under de law of Texas. I
fin’ you fo’ killin’ de man, an’ hang
you fo’ stealin’ de mule.”—Edward
McAuley, in Lippincott’s.
ODD WAY OF SMOKING.
During the South African war a Boer
soldier named Frank Brown was shot
in the forehead with a rifle bullet.
Strangely enough, it did not kill him,
and after the war he secured employ
ment on one of the trans-Atlantic steam
ers. When fully a year had passed he
complained of trouble in his head, and
after a thorough examination, the sur
geon of the ship decided that the bullet,
which had never been removed, must be
extracted. This was done, and after
ward, for the amusement of his friends'
the wounded soldier placed a ligated
cigarette in the hole from which the
bullet wns extracted and drew the
smoke through his nose. —From the
Strand.
INFLUENCE OF ENVIRONMENT.
The parrot which belonged to the rich'
malefactor sat in its gilded cage, con
templating a pricemark which had not
yet been removed. Presently the mag
nate approached and the bird looked at
him. Ho had been on the witness stand
that day in an important ease, and was
feeling rather elated over his successful
testimony.
“Hello, Polly,” he greeted the bird,
sticking lus finger through the bars.
” Hellol ’ ’ responded the parrot, ignor
ing the finger.
“Does Polly want a cracker!”
The bird cocked its head to one side
inquiringly. The magnate laughed at
its manner. Possibly the bird had not
quite understood the question.
“Does Polly want a cracker?” he
repeated.
The bird still looked at him with
slanted vision, but made no reply.
“Oho!” he laughed. “You’re not
hungry. Have you had your dinner?”
“I don’t remember,” croaked the
bird, and the magnate ordered the but
ler to remove it from the premises forth
with.—W. J. Lampton, iu Lippincott’s.