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8 SAN ANTONIO LIGHT AND GAZETTE Founded January 19. 18*1 Evening Dally Members Aosoctsted Press. Sunday Morning O D BOBBINS ■ Publisher TELEPHONE CALC*. Business Office and Circulation Department, both phones.. 178 Editorial Department. both phones ** B ® TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. By Carrier or Mah. Dally and Runday. one vear (in advance).................»a00 Dally and Sunday, one month *«c Bunday Edition, one year .... I™ Single Copleß. Dally or Runday So Entered at the Postofflce at Son Antonio, Totaa, as Second-class Matter. The 8. C. Beckwith Special Agency, RepresentaUvea New York. Tribune B'da Chicago. Tribune Bldg. TO SUBSCRIBERS. It is important when desiring the address of your paper changed to give both old and new addressee. Should delivery bo Irregular please notify the office Either telephone 17*. PUBLISHER’S NOTICE. Subscribers to The Light and Oasotts are reijuested to pay money to regular authorised collectors only. Do not pay car riers, &■ errors are sure to result The Light sod Gaietto is on sale al hot els and nows stands throughout the United States. LARSST CIRMON OF ONY PAPER IN SAN ANTONIO The Wages of Righteousness — —• — illiuuai vra auv. *•••**• lean preacher is $663. That's about $l.BO per day. Of course, there are many preachers in big cities who get fancy salaries —$10,000 a year orunoie. Hence, to bring the average down to $663 a year, there must necessarily be a legion of preachers who get much less than $l.BO a duy. This world has its owu standards whereby it fixes its “scale.’’ Leng ago it decided, thriftily, that it was a sheer waste to pay its poets good'money. Poets that are real poets will go on writing poetry anyway, whether the world foots the bill or not. In the same way the world has come to think it unseemly to pay much in gross cash to them who take it upon themselves to minister to the spiritual side of the race. The world figures, cannily, that preachers who are indeed preachers, will preach whether they are paid or not. It is not on record that Jesus, or Saint Paul, or Saint Francis of Assisi, ever considered giving up the ministry because of low salaries. Perhaps, after all, the world pays for deeds rather than words. The preachers might experiment along this line. In stead of worrying their heads about two new sermons for every Sunday, let them read the Sermon on the Mount to their flocks more often and devote the time thus saved to considering the child labor question or the bearing of work ing girls’ wages on morals. Let them forsake “evidences of Christianity’’ for evidences of hypocricy, as set forth by the tax duplicates, whereon appear the names of many of their parishioners as owners of property rented and for immoral purposes. By thus getting down to the bedrock of practical Chris tianity, the Christian ministry as a whole would become a far more mighty power for social betterment than it now is. that tyey are worthy of higher wages. . Un fhe other hand, some seem to figure tlfit soap is might ier than sermon. As a rule, these draw something better than the $l.BO scale. If the Citizens’ league which is about to put out a ticket to oppose some of the present county officials keeps on pick e-holderkas 4Wwzfsof.. shrdl cmf cmfw cmfwyp nn nn ing men like Judge Clark, there is every reason to believe that there will be some changes at the court house. Judge Clark is vigorous and forceful and will make a strong race. Social Note—Among those attending the sacrifice party held in the office of the city tax collector yesterday was no ted his honor, Bryan Callaghan, who left a very substantial do nation amounting to more than $l2OO. This money will be used to help defray the expenses of the city. It will pay the mayor’s salary for four months. Come again, Bryan. The county cannot “hold out’’ on the mayor’s salary, un fortunately for the county and fortunately for the mayor. Did you ever see so many sweet girl graduates in all your life as there are this year. This has been the greatest sweet girl graduate year in the history of the state. Lots of fussy people will no doubt object to having the state dairy and food inspector, Dr. J. S. Abbott, interfere with their rights as citizens, inasmuch as he is preventing people from eating sausages with sulphite in them. Tests show that after taking a few bites of these sulhpite-loaded sausages, flies die. Now why isn’t this a good argument on their behalf—that is, on behalf nf the sausages. Anything to get rid of the flies is a good motto. The British are beginning to think that they may have made a mistake i/giving Roosevelt the freedom of the eity, which he assumed carried with it the right of free and un limited advice. The way he whaled into the Egyptian ques tion made the members of parliament gasp, the house of lords boil and the common people dizzy. Maybe he will join Willie Aator and help run things until King George gets used to his new job. San Antonio is getitng to be something of a port of entry. Next thing y’know we'll have a surveyor here with a gold braid suit in his trunk up at the boarding house. A member of the fire rating board is authority for the statement that insurance rates- in west Texas have been too low. No man can say that about the San Antonio rates praise be. Down here we’ve paid every blooming dollar they’ve asked and they know how to ask This is Wrong O 41 8 V I J who buys a woolen or worsted cloth for a dress pays $9 40 for patterns that cost $4.00 abroad, or a tariff tax of 135 per rent, while the rich man’s wife or daughter is only required to pay a tariff tax of 60 per cent on the imported silk dress she buys. The steel buttons on the workingman’s trousers carry a duty of 126.88 per cent, while milady’s ivory buttons pay but 57.40 per cent. The cheapest blankets, found in the homes of the laborer, carry a tax of 107 per cent, while the fine blankets used on the beds of the daptains of finance only pay 71 per cent. High priced woolen carpets used by the wealthy, carry a tariff tax of but 50 per cent, while the earpets used for mats, WEDNESDAY, , A current report of the bureau of the census, rela tive to the salaries of minis ters. says that the average — annual salary of the Amer- Under the Payne-Aldrich law, those most able to pay a tariff tax get off the lightest. ~ hour wife or daughter, rugs, etc., which are found in the homes of the common peo ple, are taxed 122.88 per cent. Hats and bonnets costing $5 or less per dozen are taxed 62 per cent, while those costing more than $2O per dozen get in for 35 per cent. How long, O Lord, how long! The peach crop having failed to fail this year, we are now informed that the potato crop is in bad. Which means that what we failed to lose on the peach will go for the spud. Any way is all right so long as we get rid of the money. Every little $l2BB helps to run the city. Just watch Georgetown cling to that Southwestern univer sity. If it goes, Georgetown goes with it. “It” is George town. A rising young political writer on a morning paper exudes this: It hovers as a persistent nemesis over the political field of Texas, threatening to obscure by its brooding pinions the more important activities, the more whole some influences which, under prevailing conditions, should shape the immediate destinies of the state. What is it! What new horror threatens our homes and firesides? Is it a new comet or a fancy brand of hookworm! Note the “brooding pinions” and guess again. “Now is the time for making presidents, or soon it will be,” says the Washington Post, which in the national capi tal is considered by many to be an administration mouth piece. “We all know that Taft will be renominated. That is inevitable.” There is little doubt but that the stand patters still seriously consider Taft the logical candidate in 1812, and if they are still in the majority in congress after the approaching Pbngressional elections, the president will have no difficulty in securing a renomination, if he de sires it. Referring to Aldrich, President Taft, in an interview print ed in the June McClure’s, declares “there were not a few re ductions in the tariff schedules which were introduced at his instance, or with his consent.” In other words, concessions in legislation which was to affect the cost of living to 90,- 000,000 Americans could only be had with the “consent” of a political boss, and that political boss the acknowledged representative of the tariff trusts and Wall street! The exposures of Ballinger’s secret relations with George W. Perkins, of J. P .Morgan &/Co., in Alaskan matters, has started reports that the usefulness of the present secretary of the interior to even the corporation land grabbers has been destroyed. It is anticipated that as a compromise the investigating committee will not only whitewash Ballinger, but will enamel him as white as the lady of spotless town, and that in acknowledgment of this courtesy, he will hand in his resignation. [ Uncle Walt ] The Poet Philosopher A pleasant yarn to met was told about the man who lives next door. It shows he has a heart of gold—a thing I never knew before. And I will spring this cheerful tale on every fellow that I meet; IHI spring it till it’s growing stale, and then I’ll tell it and re- THE TWO STORIES peat. I hold that when we hear of good we shouldn’t hide the fact aw-ay, but chase around the neigh borhood and tell the story, every day. I’ve heard a story, dark and sad, about old Jinks, two doors below; it indicates that he is bad, and full of wickedness and woe. But I’ll for get that dismal tale; it profits no one to recite the weakness es of those who fail, in this life’s march, of doing right. It profits no one to rehearse the divers since that men possess ed; why talk ;.bout the bad and worse, when we may talk about the best ? You ’ll never help a fellow gent whose feet in crooked paths have strayed, by giving wide advertisement to all the breaks he has made. So keep a glad and hopeful mind, and spread good rumors always, yet; and when you hear the other kind, just show how well you can forget. Copyright, 1910, by George Matthew Adami g a As Others View It NURSES ON HORSEBACK. It is said that when Mr. Roosevelt comes to town the vol unteer emergency service, whoso offer of assistance has been gratefully accepted by the reception committee, ♦ill have 50 or 60 women nurses on horseback to aid in the relief that may become necessary. They will be clad in khaki, and, we ere assured, their ability to manage a horse will rival their ability to care for the sick and wounded. Such a spectacle is apt to impress the public even more than did the great convention of “Florence Nightingale’s Nurses,” which was held in this city last week. A woman on horseback going to the relief of some stricken onlooker will be more persuasive than even the encomiums of a Choate. It should have an effect similar to that produced by English women nurses in England at the time of the “war scare” a year ago. Women nurses have been on hand at big parades, but not <n khaki and on horseback. At the time of Mr. Taft’s inau guration they shivered at the relief stations along the route of the parade bearing the rigors of the day with as much spirit and hardiness as did Ihe doctors themselves. The pro fessional wojnan nurse is rapidly becoming an important in stitution. In her private professional ministrations she has already made herself indispensable.—New York Globe. Pointed Paragraphs If you are thinking of going to law to spite somebody, take a vear off and think it over. No man ever loves the way he thought he would. He loves the way he has to or is allowed to. Some automobiles are such excellent hill climbers that they take their owners over the uill to the poorhouse. And it is almost as easy to find friends when you have money as it is to lose them when you go broke. Every woman knows that if a photograph flatters her it is a better likeness than the reflection she sees in a mirror.— Chicago REFLECTIONS OF A BACFELOR. Anyhow, engagements aren’t as expens vc as automobiles. Some men are not to be believed when they tell the trqth any more than when they don’t. If a woman can’t find anything else to brag about her husband, she'll do it about how he hates to have her do it. One good thing about a man’s having a lot of children is he never has any worry to spare on hoV the government is run. The man who sits down and waits for what he deserves to come to him will never deserve it, not to speak of getting It. —New York Press. SAN ANTONIO LIGHT AND GAZETTE But wouldn’t it be a horrible blow to Ludwig if one of these days he should find himself hankering for separation from his wife and upon investigation find it necessary to secure divorces from her in every state in which he has been married! Wouldn’t it be a grim joke on Ludwig if he were obliged to pay his wife alimony in 44 different states! However, we do not wish to be a kill-joy—we would not cast upon the happy horizon of Mr. and Mrs. Lewisohn’s married life any cloud of discontent, even thought it were no larger than a man’s hand. They are now very much united and let us hope they will so continue and that they will live happily together ever afterward. ALL SORTS Copyright, 1909. by Post Publishing Co. By NEWTON NEWKIRK. VAMOOSED. Where, O where is Halley’s comet With the long tail hanging on it! Beience said ’twould hit this earth And turn us all to dust; There’s a bee in someone’s bonnet, You can bet your dollars on it, For it passed us by on May 18th And never cracked the crust. PUNK. FORTY FOUR TIMES MARRIED. Mr. Ludwig Lewisohq, a professional tourist, was the other day united in the holy bonds of wedlock, to a very es timable lady in Newark, N. J. Ordi narily there w'ould have been nothing remarkable about this union of two souls with but a single think—two hearts that palpitate simultaneously, but when you are informed that this is Ludwig’s 44th venture in matrimony, it has the effect of making the innocent bystander sit up and pay strict atten tion. Yes, gentle reader, this is the 44th time Ludwig has led a woman to the altar, and he was not pushed or pulled, either—44 times, count ’em! Perhaps it will further remove the dust from your spectacles to learn that Ludw'ig has not led to the altar 44 sep arate and distinct brides, heaven for bid. No, on each occasion he has mar ried the same w-oman, and that woman is his wife undoubtedly and unques tionably—she is very much his wife — she is his wife 44 times. It is like this: Mrs. Lewisohn ac companies her husband on his travels and Ludwig has an ambition to be mar ried to her in every state in the Union. Up to date he has in his possession 44 certificates, showing that he has been married to his wife in as many differ ent states, and when New York is add ed to the list he will have covered all the available territory in the United States and may then begin marrying his wife in various countries abroad. When asked how he came to acquire this marriage mania Ludwig told the reporter that he loved his wife very dearly and that if he chose to marry her 44 thnes, or even more, he didn’t know that it was anybody’s business, so long as he paid for the marriage li censes and paid for having the various knots tied. Well, perhaps Ludwig is right about this. If a husband is seized with an irresistible impulse to marry his own wife every time he crosses a state boundary that’s his affair. If collecting marriage certificates is his fad why shouldn’t he gratify it! If Ludwig keeps on at the pace he has been going he will soon have 57 differ ent varieties, and if he and his wife ever pause long enough in one place to go to housekeeping they can have the walls papered with marriage certifi cates. “THEN IT HAPPENED” (Our Daily Discontinued Story.) George Gigglewitz was not one of your impressionable bachelors. He had seen much of life, and his heart was still free. But on this day while crossing Brick bat boulevard, a damsel of such sur passing daintiness passed him that he paused to rubber. “Whew, some class to that,” mused George. “By jingo, I believe I’m hard hit.” — Since he did not hear the sinister toot of the automobile, need it be said that he guessed right! (The End.) THEY SERVED NQJICE. The other morning John Robinson of Chester, Pa., went out in his back yard to feed the bens, but he called the bid dies in vain. The ducks came for their breakfast, but not a hen appeared. Up on investigation John discovered that 67 large, fat, juicy, succulent pullets had been swiped during the night by hen connoisseurs with a penchant for collecting poultry. John took a trip into the empty henhouse, and there, tacked up on the wall, was the follow ing notice: Please have your ducks fat tened up for us. We will be back in about two weeks. Your hens are in fine coudi- Never Again! Texas Talk STILL ROOM. Two of the bishops recently elected by the general conference —Bishop Kilgo of North Carolina and Bishop Mouzon of Texas— were born in South Carolina. It shows that high honors are within reach of South Carolinians if they move away from that fussy little commonwealth in time and go where they have a chance to grow. —Houston Post. The chance is still here—also the room, and that’s why we are telling some of the world about Texas, and the rest of the world is finding out and coming. RIGHT MEDIUM. The young man who has been studying and worrying over his commencement oration may find it even harder work to frame up a want ad that will land him a job.— Brownsville Enterprise. Not in the Light and Gazette. QUICK DELIVERY. Candidate Colquitt filled Bee thoven hall in San Antonio to overflowing. Bht the notable and most significant thing connected with that political meeting was th* presence on the platform of hid honor, the mayor, of San Antonio. His honor has made a careful study of the science of “delivering votes.”—Corpus Christi Caller. All hombres. THE DIFFERENCE. The San Antonio Light and Ga zette claims for the Rio Grande valley “the first tummy aches on the market in 1910,” because of the first watermelons shipped last Saturday. Wo contest. Corpus has been shipping out cucumbers for several weeks. — Corpus Christi Caller. There is a distinction between tummy ache add cramps. Corpus Christi cucum bers certainly compel cramps. The last Corpus cucumber I ate while no bigger than a fire erackei, caused a commo tion like a cordite cartridge.- tion, but the ducks are too skinny. How John did sulphurize the atmos phere when he read that notice! Ho talked so loud,and was so straightfor ward in his use of-cuss words that his wife came to the back door and spoke to him about it. Sho reminded him that ho was a deacon in the church, and that!, as the parsonage was only three quarters of a mile away, their pcstor might overhear his remarks. John has loaded his shotgun ur.to the muzzle and he says that ty fl weeks hence when the thieves re* An for the ducks somebody is get well ventilate'’ Observant Citizen A teacher in one of the lower grade schools w-as entertaining two visitors to the class room. Several days pre viously the teacher had furnished amusement and at the same time in creased the children’s store of knowl edge by a series of questions of the fol lowing nature: “What do we sit on that rhymes with hair!” Some child would answer, “Chair.” Today the visitors would be pleased to observe how readily the pupils could answer. “What do I wear on my head that rhymes with cat!” asked the instruc tress. Up went the hand of a boy with red hair. “Well, Johnny,” said she, “you may tell us.” Johnny arose arid appeared frightened. “It’s a rat,” he blurted. And then the tableau. SAHANTOIIIO2IYEARSAGO (From the Light June 1, 1889.) James V. French and bride reached the city today from Fort Worth. Justice Lamar of the supreme bench has notified Judge Maxey that he will be in the city Wednesday next. At the oratorical contest held in Madison Square church last evening, Ogden Johnson captured the gold med al, C. C. Cresson Jr., the silver medal, and 11. C. Lane honorable mention. The news of Captain Fowler’s death at Hot Springs was received today. De ceased was well known in San Antonio. E. C. Gano, who is to superintend the placing of the Mackey brick and tile machinery at Calaveras, is in the city. Bishop Johnston of the Episcopal dio cese left the city this morning for a trip to Laredo. Tomorrow will be celebrated as Chil dren’s day at the Cumberland Presby terian church. Col. W. J. McNamara has purchased 100,000 pounds of wool from Galveston. The city hall employes were paid their May salaries yesterday afternoon. O. H. Cooper, state superintendent of public instruction, is in the city and is stopping at the Monger. Judge Tom Paschal of Castroville is in the city on a visit. Conductor Steele of the Sap expects to take out the largest passenger train that has ever left the city. In addi tion to two or three coaches that will be filled with Belknaps and Maverick Rifles, going to Galveston, two coaches will be filled with Mexican laborers go ing to Houston, and Ticket Agent Ev erett expects to fill three or four more coaches with passengers for points along the route and for Galveston and Houston. M. K. Nelson, superintendent of the eating houses on the line of the Mexi can National railway, is in the eity and is stopping at the Monger hotel. A REAL GRIEVANCE. “I often sing by the sad sea waves,” Chirped the maid, and the villain bad Said, “Now I can easily understand Why the waves are always sad.” —Chicago News. JUNE 1, MIO; 7*. E. P»mtr» "7 FnMlaJuac . - —* ’ Little Stories EUGENE FIELD TURNED THE TABLES. Eug ie 7ield could appreciate i joke as well as any man, even when ths joke was upon himself. One time he turned the table upon a friend, who sought to play a joke upon the gentle poet, com pletely to his friend’s undoing. Mr.' Field showed a lack of utter in difference when it came to be a fol lower of the fashions. His clothes vere always neat and tidy, but they were not made after the prevailing fashion;, he had not consulted Worth, and this lias agonizing to at least one of his mpt fashionable friends, named for cqi venience, Mr. J. One day, in an off-hand manner, s» as not -to be offensive to the poet, Mr J. inquired of him if he would wear a suit of clothes if he would buy it for him. Contrary to expectations, Mr., Field replied that be would be only too glad to accept the suit and to wear it. In a few days Mr. J, had occasion to be at Jeffersonville transacting some legal business, when he had a happy thought. By some means he procured a suit of clothes made by the state for one of her citizens. And the state does not believe in changing fashions, mani festing a decided predilection for those patterns that are characterized by broad stripes, black and gray. On his return to Chicago the suit went with him—in a telescope, and Pandora’s box never held more trouble to the square inch. In a neat little speech before a crowd of his friends, called in to observe his triumph and the crest-fallen Field, tha suit was duly presented. Whhn, lo! to the surprise of all, it was smilingly accepted in an extempore speech that made Mr. J.'s studied effort, with its set phrases, seem like “tinkling brass and a sounding cymbal.” It was nearly noon next day. Mr. J. sat in his elaborately appointed office, busy with some financial matters, when one of his friends rushed frahtic ally up the stairway, entered the room like the house was on fire, and asked him what he meant by allowing a con vict to hang around about his office, even if he was an old friend; it was a dead give away, and was the talk of the whole town. He told him the convict would even accost persons inclined to pass, in order to tell them that he was out on leave and had come to pay his respects to his old friend; that he ought to get rid of him at once, and the sooner the better, if his reputation wail not already ruined. Mr. J. made haste to investigate. It was the genial Field w!u> had dressed up in the suit presented to him the day before. Nor would he leave till Mr. j. had paid him most liberally.—National Monthly. AT MIDNIGHT. Mrs. Tymidlay (shaking her husband to waken him)—Oh, John, I ’in afraid there’s a man downstairs; .1 heard a noise that sounded just like a yawn! Mr. Tymidlay—Oh, go to sleep and don’t bother men! What you beard was probably your rubber plant stretch ing itself. —Chicago N»—