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SAN ANTONIO LIGHT AND GAZETTE Founded January 30, IML Ernnlng Daily. Members Associated Press. Sunday Morning. G D. ROBBINS Publisher TELEPHONE CALLS. Business Office and Circulation Department, both phones 170 Editorial Department, both phones 1353 TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily and Sunday, earner, 1 month * Daily and Sunday, carrier, 1 year Daily and Sunday, mail, 1 month Dally and Sunday, mail, 1 year (in advance) Jvu Bunday, eairter, 1 year ••••••••••••• Sunday, tnaU. 1 year »•«» Single ropy, Daily or Sunday 05 Entered at the Postoffice at San Antonio, Texaa, at Second-class Matter. The $. C. Beckwith Special Agency, RepresonUtlTea, New York, Tribune Bldg. Chicago, Tribune Bldg. ■■■ X TO SUBSCRIBERS. It i» important when deriving th. address of year paper ehanged to er. both old and new addroa,... Should delivery be irregular, please notify the office. Either telephone 176. The Light and Gasotte ia on sale at hotela and news-stands through out the United States. LARGEST CIRCUUTION OF ANY PAPER IH SAN ANTONIO Build to Brownsville Last night's meeting at the Chamber of Commerce in the interest of the proposed railroad to Brownsville was in a way remarkable in that the men who were there—and they represented the most solid citizenship of the city— spoke plainly and emphasized in no uncertain terms the need for the road. From time to time golden-tongued promoters have come to San Antonio and by means of specious promises gained some support in their efforts to promote a line to the Lower Rio Grande country, but unfortunately their efforts have always come to naught.-That the need for the road has existed for years has been an admitted fact, but not until this moment has it ever seemed reasonably sure that it would be built. Today the men who have the real good of the city at heart are engaged personally in collecting funds and promoting the railroad. This is the sort of pro moting that counts —promoting by the men whose welfare is bound up in the result of the work. They are not, how ever, working for personal gain, but for the benefit of 100,000 people and every one of these 100,000 people ought to put a shoulder to the wheel and render every ounce of aid possible. San Antonio must have the railroad to Brownsville: there is but one way to get it and that is by concerted action on the part of the people. A score or more of influential citizens' have started the movement, carried it by hard personal work to the point where suc cess is possible, and now with a rousing shove down the line it will not be long before rail laying will begin. Don't be a grouch: don’t hang back: don't wait to see what the other fellow is going to do. Get in line yourself and HELP. Be a live wire, be a progressive and show the rest of the state that San Antonio's fame as a city that does things is no misnomer. Build the road to Brownsville is now the slogan. - a The bright young chief of the Austin Statesman's legis lative staff writes of a recent occurrence at the capitol: "In a solid phalanx of Bailey enthusiasm the crowd marched down the stairs, making more noise than the Japs made at Borodino.” The general Impression is that Borodino was a battle fought between the Russians and Napoleon's grand army many years before the Japs broke into the limelight. Of course, if the Statesman insists 4>—l Mr. Yoakum says that he is just as much in favor of a railroad between San Antonio and Brownsville as he ever was. No one ever accused him of changing his mind. Nonsense of the Wise The doctors disagree as to the number of children the average family ought to have, and Harvard doctors, at that. Dr. Eliot said: "A child every two years,” which would produce an average of six per family, allowing for deaths. Now Dr. Carver of the chair of economics, ad vocating restriction of birthrate by law and saying: “I think that legislation that would do away with the large family of the poorer woman would make the ability to have children a privilege. It would be a privilege to be earned by merit. The result would be that a woman would be proud to have children instead of considering them a burden to be avoided.” Deprive the poor of the right to have children, when that's about all they are allowed to have now! Well, well! How could you enforce your law, anyhow, doctor? Ever think of that? And did ft never occur to you that instead of befud<S*g your brains trying to find a way to keep poor folks from having children, it would be better to make plans whereby there would ultimately be no poor folks —or less of them? The more the college professors talk about the grim realities of life, the more reconciled we become to the fact that a good many people don't have time to go to some college. The legislature won’t be fit for work for a week after that scare Bailey threw into them. Poor old China will "surrender completely to the Rus sian demand. Of course. What can you expect of a coun try where even the hens don't dare say their souls are their own—six cents a dozen? -— * Build to Brownsville. ♦ Those Oklahoma Indian contracts have been white washed now. We live in a truly virtuous world. Troops Coming Late yesterday afternoon orders wont out from the war department for the movement of 20.000 troops to Fort Bam Houston and the navy department has also ordered InVhrnanrre of “ 18 Btated ,hat all » b ‘ B 18 In the nature of army and navy maneuvers, the greatest ever attempted by the United States. The report that, the object of this big movement of troops and ships is but mimic warfare does not seem to satisfy some people in eluding many army officers. Wild rumors flew throughout the country last night and this morning In connection X the army and navy orders and this morning found the situation more clouded than ever. It was reported that Intervention in Mexico would be attempted and again came the report that the Japanese situation had a Hr bearing upon the situation. At Fort Sam Houston all was excitement and from the Atlantic to the Pacific the wires! hummed with rumors and demals. Not one army or navw officer knew that the order was coming, the secret being' confined to the president, members of the cabinet and f ficials of the army and navy departments. Orders f o ; mobilization came like a thunder bolt. Ior In spite of the positive assurances from the secretary of war that this is but a test of the efficiency of army an t iU ability to quickly gather largo bodies of trooT? at 1 given point reinforced by naval equipment, there are nlen ty who see in it a deeper significance. P • The armored erasers ordered to Galveston are the larg est warships afloat except battleships * the dreadnought and 16,000-ton class. They arc larg. r than anv vessel this country had in the Spanish-American war, when our larg est tlrst-class battleships were the Oregon and sister shins •f 12.000 ton displacement. The Brooklyn, then our largest arHiored cruiser, was little more than half the weight of these fighting leviathans, while the Olympia, the largest •hip Dewey had at Manila, would look like a tugboat •lo.uraide ODe o f them- TUESDAY, Time for a Rest There is every indication that the political peace of Texas will be considerably jarred by a battle royal be tween the friends of Culberson and Bailey and we are to have all the "peerless leader, matchless statesman, mas ter ■mind, constructive genius, giant intellect" stuff pulled out of the pigeon holes and smeared all over the land scape again. Keep the row out of Texas. If there must be a fight let Washington be the battleground and the mem bers of the United States senate be the referees and the people the audience. Texas has had enough fighting, claw ing. blaspheming and blasted friendships from the Bailey business and needs a rest. Bailey's friends are the sort who feel that they must be on their feet shouting the master's praises all the time or they may be accused of disloyalty to the god of Gainesville. More friendships have been split, more homes wrecked by the Bailey controversy which may never be settled, than the most ardent pro would lay at the door of the demon rum. Let Texas go its way and forget Bailey for a while and peace, quiet and prosperity’ will settle upon the land. In tensive cultivation of the anti-Bailey movement will result only in disaster, bitter feeling and heaven only knows what other troubles The friends of the Junior senator are so pesterously loyal that they become tiresome to folks who thinks that Bailey is Just human. It has been admit ted that no anti-Bailey men are going to be driven Into the gulf and that Bailey is going to stay in the senate for at least two years, so let’s drop the matter and leave the nation at large to decide which of the two Texas senators most faithfully reflects the spirit of the people. That will mean a surcease of sorrow until 1913 and lots of things may happen when trouble Is shoved out of the way for two years. In the vernacular, "isn't It time to cut it out.” Women of Chicago strew flowers in the path of Lorimer who honor him and bows condescendingly to the men who and "Blonde Bill" smiles and nods graciously to the ladies bid him welcome home. To read of such a greeting for such a man as Lorimer, makes the average decent man blush with shame for his countrymen. He was elected by fraud and every one knows it whether admitting it or not. Well, people in jails get flowers, too. ♦ — New York club has unanimously resolved that fat men are more virtuous, lovable and handsome than any other sort. P. 8.: It was the Fat Men's club. Ruth St. Denis, the dancer, says she is going to live to be 100 years old, because she wears no corsets and “will continue to be underdressed." « St. Louis man who went to Europe with $lO,OOO to spend on hls holiday got broke in Paris and paid hls passage home by peeling potatoes in the steerage. And he said he was the happiest man in the ship, at that. — 4 Five hours were required for the funeral of Paul Singer, the socialist leader, to pass through the Bradenburg gate in Berlin. Rather suggestive of political funerals to come! ■ Latest device for the amusement of the Idle rich is a cowgirl colony In New Mexico. All of ’em will get health and excitement, while some may get husbands and be come useful. 4. England’s heir apparent is down with plain, ordinary, democratic measles. ♦ Strike of models in Philadelphia was natural enough, as models are usually somewhat striking. It by no means follows that they know how to conduct a model strike. ♦— Japan's hilarity over that treaty is pretty good evidence that she got the big end of the deal. + Caruso has lost his voice again and is at Atlantic City greatly worried. It would almost pay Enrico to keep a standing ad in our "Lost and Found” columns. Carnegie says he has made*4s millionaires, but it is sig nificant that he has switched off to libraries. ♦ Buchtel college girls at Akron, 0., gave a luncheon to an ape and their folks are mad about it. The girls had no business to make It an exclusive affair. The Red Corpuscle It is vain for any of our readers to request Mr. How coodu Dooit to mail them advance proofs of his great serial. The chapters must be read in The Red Corpuscle or not at all. In one instance, and one only, has this rule been broken. From a man in Gravestone, Arizona, Mr. Dooit received the following plaintive appeal: “I am going to steal a horse next Friday and if caught lam certain to be lynched. I could not bear this to hap pen without knowing how 'The Thumbless Hand' turned out, so If you send me proofs of the last chapter by Thurs day I shall be under a lifelong—or daylong—obligation to you. Address Pete the Swipe, Purple Pup Saloon, Grave stone, Ariz.” THE THUMBLESS HAND. A Thrilling Tale of Oriental Mystery, Intrigue and Adventure. (By Howeoodu Dooit.) Synopsis of First Lap—Snuggs Is awakened by a China man who has entered his room. The intruder flees, but finger prints near the edge of a table indicate that the thumb is missing from hls right hand. Jorklns, a red headed Englishman, meets Snuggs at his door. “Did he get it?" asked Jorklns. Snuggs started. How much did Jorklns know? "Get what?” responded Snuggs. “What he was after,” calmly answered Jorklns. “I haven’t missed it—-that is, I haven't missed any thing,” Snuggs said, and he proceeded to hunt through the shrubbery In which the Chinaman had disappeared. Quickly he drew his magazine pistol and pointed it at a rosebush. “Come out,” he cried. A Chinaman emerged, holding up his hands. The thumb was gone from his right hand. “Where's your thumb?" asked Snuggs. “In Canton." said the Chinaman. “I got a divorce from It with a cleaver in the hanss of a crazy Portuguese.” “Come with me,” said Snuggs, and with the captive he proceeded to the house, followed by Jorklns, who repeated at Intervals the words “bally fool." Hardly had they gone ten paces when they almost ste, d upon another Chinaman, lying behind an Imported scrambled eggplant. As the man tried to rush away, Snuggs saw that hls right hand was also thumbless! Jorklns chuckled hoarsely. (To Be Continued.) • POEMS OF ACTION. (Written by some of the most actionable poets in America.) A monoplane dropped into the sea. I rejoice that the monoplane didn't hold me. A man whose legs had a funny kink Went skating around the St. Nicholas rink; When he tried to turn he tangled his toes. And he finished the round on the tip or his nose. One train was rushing toward the west. And one was rushing back; This pome has lots of action, since Both trains were on one track. ITEMS OF INTEREST. King George will be crowned in June. In the meantime he wears a hat. The skin of a silver fox is worth $5OO, but even at that price the fox Is reluctant to part with it. Edison Is now trying to breed a hen which will lay eggs and bacon. The Bahamas wish to enter the Dominion of Canada. Moorings might be found for them among the Thousand Islands. (By Wex Jones.) SAN ANTONIO LIGHT All Sorts Copyright, 1911, by Post Publishing 00. By NEWTON NEWKIRK. MORE FACTS WANTED. Dear “All Sorts”—l'll bet this one sticks you: To the corner of a barn 20 feet square, with a rope 50 feet long, is tied a goat. How many square rods of ground can he graze over? R. P. M. Seguin, Tex. When you slip a knotty one over to me, “R. P. M.,” why don’t you give all the Important details? How can you expect me to solve an Intricate problem of this sort when you hold back information concerning It which Is of the gravest importance to the arithmetician? Nqw it you had given me the little essentials of this prob lem I could solve it without resort ing to algebra, violence, or brute force—l could solve it by mental arithmetic by focussing on it, for the nonce, my forty horsepower intellect ual searchlight. Are you quite sure this was a goat tied to the end of the rope Instead of a sheep? If so, whose goat was it? Did this goat belong to the man who owned the barn or was it somebody else’s goat which the barn owner had got? The reason I ask is because if this were a goat he could easily eat the posters on the side of the barn and then graze on the shingles of the roof. What kind of a rope was it with which the animal was tied, and did the rope have any twists or kinks n» It? Are you quite sure you want the answer in square rods, square yards, square feet or square inches? I have in stock these four varieties of meas urement and can give you your choice, you know. How long was this goat’s neck, please, and what was its sex? A lady goat's neck, you ought to know. Is longer than a William goat’s neck and for this reason a lady goat at the end of a given length of rope can graze over more territory. If you will kindly clear up these little details which doubtless seem in significant to it will give me much pleasure to solve this problem for you in such a lucid and transpar ent manner that will bo obvious to even your feeble intellect. Persons frequently hold back nec essary Information in cases like this and then because I don't give a solu tion right off the bat tney whisper about to their friends their opinion that I can’t solve the problem and am simply sparring for time. I hope you are not that kind of a person, “R. P. M.” CASH FARE COURTESY. A young lady whose front name is Susie complains in a petulant voice because street car conductors are not more courteous. She says: "The other day on a car when 1 handed a conductor my fare he never even thanked me, but took It as a matter of course. Do you not think that conductors ought to at least say 'Thank you’ when they receive fares?” Street car conductors, Susie, seem to have enough troubles Of their own without adding to their burdens. As a rule passengers hold them respon sible for all the drawbacks of trolley transportation. If a car is crowded, if there are not enough hang-straps to go ’round, if there is a blockade, or If a fuse burns out, the conductor Is the one who gets cussed. If the car is too hot, too cold, too open or too close, It’s the conductor’s fault. The conductor, you know, does not own the street car line, neither does he run it for his own profit—he is merely an employe of the man higher up. If a conductor was to thank passengers for every fare paid him he would soon wear out his thanker. Frankly, I can see no rea son why a street car conductor should 1 return thanks every time he gets a nickel —unless, of course, he is knock ing down fares, in which case the, least he should do would be to express his gratitude for the small contribu tions handed him. FOR SALE. Fifteen year old Rhode Island hens, in good condition and laying. Apply at Enterprise office. —Lisbon Falls (Me.) Enterprise. There is something pathetic in the above advertisement to me. If I were the owner of a covey of hens 15 years old in good condition and still laying, do you suppose I’d offer them for sale? No! —1000 times. No! If I owned a hen that had delivered the goods to me for fifteen years, day in and day out, I’d say to her, “Hen, you have seen your duty and done it. For fifteen years you have provided me my morning omelet and there isn’t money enough in this nock of woods to buy you. ' Listen, Hen-*-I am going to retire you on full pay. Go thou and lay no more, but rather spend the sundown of your life In dilatory restfulness and let not your cackle again be raised in triumph.” The very idea of selling a hen that has been faithfully on the job for fif teen years! Why, she ought not even have to scratch for a living. Her meals ought to be carried to her on the roost and she ought to have a li cense to dig in anybody's garden. There really ought to be an Old Hens' Home for aged and Indigent hens, who have evolved henfruit for fifteen years. Daily Birthday Party The Uncle Sam States of America have produced a number of wizards— flowers that Burbank has turned out from hls California ranch would make your eyes stick out. Burbank is 62 years old today the kind that make two dollars grow where only 30 cents grew before. But they are all going to be forgotten some day and the real, certified. govern ment Inspected, 99 per cent pure wiz ard will get the recognition due him. The wizard is Luther Burbank, the father of many kings and queens in the vegetable world. A list of the wonderful new fruits, nuts, veg etables. grains and OVOO<XXK>VOOOO<X>OOOO<HXXXXXX>OOOOO<XXXX><XXXKKX> THE TEMPTATIONS OF SMITH!. As Others View It W ILL POMPADOUR IT LIKE BOB'S. At any rate. Senator LaFollette has managed to give out the impression that he has something up his sleeve which is calculated to curl the long hair of a certain blond senator. —Chi- cago Tribune. —■ GOING TO WAIT FOR GABRIEL’S TRUMP. "Mrs. Ballinger will return to her 1 home in Seattle the middle of March,” says a Washington society note. But I Ballinger stays. — Louisville Courier- Journal. MUST HAVE A CILXMP CLARK. TOO If you want anything really funny' about the designs of the United States! on Spanish America you can always ’ get it in Berlin. —New York World. FAME THRUST UPON HIM. — The lost little boy who was found by Colonel Roosevelt will never lose him self again nor his sense of importance. —Baltimore America. ADDING INSULT TO INJURY, The cementing of friendship with Japan naturally Is very distressing to the feelings of Mr. Hobson.—Pittsburg Gazette-Times. NOT AS IN NOCENT AS HE LOOKS, i In Washington recently Champ Clark was mistaken for a minister. He wasn't talking at the time.—Chicago Record-Herald. THEIR SENTIMENTS ALSO. ’ Other tourists will understand Mrs. Longworth’s cable to Loeb, consisting of the word: "Pig."—Boston Tran script. LOOKS MORE LIKE EXECUTIONER Is Senator Aldrich being called in in 1 his capacity of consulting physician, or coroner? —Washington Post. CAN HE RESCUE "MY POLICIES?” Colonel Roosevelt “rescued" a lost child on Broadway recently. Can you beat It? —Pittsburg Leader. LEFT HIS ORDERS FOR THEM. Perhaps J. P. Morgan told Wall street how to cut up while he was away.—Atlanta Constitution. GET THEM. ANYWAY. A Chicago girl has gone west to marry an Indian. It isn't so very long since the boys were going west to shoot Indians. How times change!—Chicago News. CARRYING IT TO AN EXTREME. Andrew Jackson Graham, candidate tor mayor of Chicago, promises. "I’ll rob no one.” Candidates are getting more and more radical.—Cleveland Leader. TO BE SURE. "Lunatics voted for Joe Cannon.” save a Danville, 111., dispatch. Well, what Is there strange about that?— Boston Transcript. HIGHLY DESCRIPTIVE. Another time one hesitates to cor rect the proof Is when the llnotyper sets It as "bunquet”—New York Mall. Ooprrtriit. uni, br Ster Cemseny. One day a man with a downcast face blew Into the village grocer"* place. “I’ve dealt with you many moons," he said; "I've bought your codfish and prunes and bread, and I always paid when I said I VARIOUS would, and you doubtless know that my credit's good. Now MERCHANTS. I’m out of work and without a dime, and I’d like to buy 3 few things on time.” And the grocer sold him a lot of truck, and hoped he soon would have better luck. He told his tale to the butcher, then, at the dry goods store, to the clothing men; they all remem bered that he had paid, and they were pleased when they got his trade; and now that luck for a time had changed, he found no one of these men estranged. They sold him things In their stately stores, and wished him luck when he left their doors. And then the man of the luckless star dropped in at last at the booze bazar. He told his tale; he was all. all In, but wanted credit for beer and gin. His coat was fanned by the barkeep s feet, and he bounced two yards when he hit the street. Copyright. 1910. by Georgs Matthew Adama Observant Citizen The dog—a cur cayudle of low an cestry-discovered the bug at the cor ner or San Pedrc. and Macon street. *>s. a , most Interesting bug. one of L.X klnd ’ °nly a bugoloKist can classify. The bug lav nl "? J unable to turn over, flop- P ng helplessly with legs clawing the Wa “ certa| nly In some predic am “ni. u jim-dandy diversion for LH t He ra,sed hU ' olc e in Klee lenlth P ’ pranced sideways and vlnnine an- Clr ? Hns around and yip huge"v' He nJ^‘ n,r the Proceeding on g »n d up to ,hp bug fours, get within a couple of he wculd tear*"’ ,<ke a dog Pressed, turning to "around half a block, re enemy* K t ° Ver a Prostrate alo^ Mt JJ* the man camp *rian fnn de "tly ho was a humanl an. for on sight of the bug. with the gleeful dog. he assumed a rumi native demeanor and watched pro ceedings. Finally— "lt’s a shame that bug can't turn Fd ,lke to see what happens." The man got a stick and turned the bug over. He wanted to see what would happen. He saw. The bug. able now to navigate on its own hook, cutstretched Its wings and flew Into the dog's face. Its long claws twisted in the dog's muzzle. There never was such a surprised dog. The transition from gleeful yelps to doleful howls occupied less than an instant. Then the dog, true to hls plebian nature, sought refuge In flight. It was, perhapa unfortunate that he chose the exact angle at which the man was standing, laughing Immod erately. It may have been poetic jus tice. or canine cussedness, but the fact remains that the dog went di rectly between the man's legs, hitting each as he passed. The man assumed a seated petition on the pavement He came down with a jar. It is not proper to print blasphem ous language. Dog, with bug. disappeared at a 2:40 gait around the corner. Many laughed—but not the human itarian who turned the bug. Strolling into the Southern Pacific ticket office yesterday afternoon I witnessed a performance that to me at lea.-t was unique. A had purchased a ticket to MARCH 7, 1911. Uncle Walt The Poet Philosopher (From the Llfht, March 7. 1890.) The usual Lenten fasting and ab stinence will not be observed thlß year by special dispensation of Pope Leo. The charming voices of Misses Mary Hernandez and Lula McAllister will be heard at the Llberati concert. Joe Gallagher is thinking of going back to his old trade—laying little blocks of burnt clay. .AJ re L ght en K in c ran off the track 'at the Sunset depot yesterday after noon. The Crosstown Is putting In a curve at the corner of Grand avertue and Austin street. The Southern Pacific is filling In Austin street with cinders in front of the passenger depot J- Nichols, the old conductor of the Sap railway, Is In the city. The Illinois Editorial , association passed through the city over the In ternational & Great Northern rallwav. »k° Ut A. bac ? hon,e from tb eir trip to the City of Mexico. nt the Jokers are re 2rf«Jr d to tbe s P r| ngs tomorrow afternoon at 3 o'clock for practice. Captain Nat Zulsbacker has retum cd from his trip to New Orleans and Is stopping at the Maverick. * Martha Washington tea ifcarty - a ‘,,s lv S? * n ths Sunday school room 'Lk?! F bine Methodist church last r<,iL. T oun * People's society of Christian Endeavor. x some distant point and forthwith pro ceAdtd tc extract the money with which to pay for it. The initial art was to raise her outer skirt. "Got *. heavens.” thought I, "does she keep her bank account In her stocking ” for I had heard that such was some times the custom among the femlnir 1 seif. Therefore I discreetly turned n r eyes away for a moment. pn next I raised them I foun 1 that the woman was delving into a stout leather bag that hung suspend 1 a little below her knee. It had a fat. prosperous appearance and as I watched her, her hand emerged frota the depths tightly clutching a roll of bills and numerous gold aagßs; enough It seemed to me to have served as an adequate reserve fund , r a strong bank. After paying the right amount she jammed her wealth Into its place of keeping and marched out of the office, the gold coins male ing sweet music as they merrily lin* gled in their security 21' Years Ago