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! DKVOTIM) TO THIS A3 lUClTI-TUHAI., M ANUFACTOIUNG, AND KDUCATIONAL INTKltKMTH OF WA.HHI3IV AND AlJOIISINi COUNTI MM By STANDARD PUBLISHING CO M-MINNVILLE, TENNESSEE, SATURDAY, SEPrEMBER 30, 1882. $1.00 Per Annum, In Advance' v- I' ll CJIU11CIII3H. Southern Methodist Rev W. W. Pinson paator; services every second and 4th Sun day! at 11 a m, and at night every Sunday. Prayer-meeting Wednesday ni),'lit. Christian Services every Sunday. Prayer meeting Wednesday night. Methodist-Rev. F. W. Hcnek pastor; services first and third Sundays j prayer meeting every Thursday njght. Preshyterian Rev. A. E. Grover pastor; services every Suiiduv and niylit; prayer meeting every Wednesday night. Cumberland Presbyterian Rev. M. R. DeW;tt pastor; srvires every Sunday and atnitrht; priiyerinectint: Wednesday night. Tullahoma to McMlnnville arrives 2:50 p. m. Leaves 6 05 a in., daily except Sunday. McMinnville. to Sparta, arrives (3 00 a ni, leaves 3 p m, daily. To Beersheba Springs, arrives 8 p in Tues day, Thursday and Saturday, leaves Gam same days. To Smithville, (route No. 10200) arrives 12 m Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, de parts 1pm same days. - To Rock Island, arrives Tuesday, Thurs day and Saturday 5 p m, leaves 8 a tn same days. To Smithville (route No 19208) arrives Monday and Friday ut 8 p iu, departs ti a ui same days. To Woodbury, arrives Wednesday and Friday 6 p m, leaves 5am same days. To Horseshoe Falls, arrives Monday and Thursday 12 m, departs 2 p m same days. COUUTH, CHANCERY Sits 1st Monday in May and November; John W. Burton, Judge ; J. C. Biles, Clerk. CIRCUIT Sits Tuesday after 4th Monday iu January, May, ami September; J.J. Williams, Judtfe ; A. J. Curl, Clerk. COUNTY Sits by quorum 1st Monday in every month; "full court every quarter; John W. Towles, Esq., Chairman ; J II Rob erson, Clerk. OTHER COUNTY OFFICIALS W. L. Steakly, Sheriff; W. L. Swan, Register; O. W. Parks, Tax Collector ami Trustee; Geo. T. Purvis, Ranger; U. M. Argo, Jailer; C. C Smith, County Superintendent of Pub ic Instruction n & A. M. Warren. No 125 1st Monilav J; . night iu every inontu, in their hall over the court room. J AS W. Howahd. . M ROYAL AUC1I CII A PTER-3rd Thursday uight in every month. U. Kknsedy, II. P. IO. O.F. McMinnville, No. 14i ; every . Tuesday night, in their Hall over 11. II. Faulkner's, H. II. Fai i.KNiiit, N. G. T7NIG NIGnTS OFHONOR-Mountaiu City, JY No. U0: Odd Fellows' Hall, 2nd and iV Hall, 1 rv month. 4th Monday nights iu ever - ' -- - jt KfcNNHDT, P. KNIGHTS AND LADY'S HONOR-2nd and 4th Thursday nights in every mouth. 11. Kl'.NNKDY, P. AO. U. W. meets 1st and 3d Tlnir-diiy nights in each month in Odd Fellows Hal L. C. Ti'Ui'tx, M. W. W. T. Murray. Frank Spurloek. hum, mmmi a mm A.ttorn:) at Law Office corner North and Chancery streets McMinnville, ; : Tusn. L1TERY, SUE L FEED SLUE Joh i Ramsey & Son. WANTED To buy Horses and mules Also to sell. General livery and trans fer business. Cull and see us. Jan. 14, '82. Jxo. Ramsey & Son. PRESERVE YOUR BE .A. I IR,I No Further Excuse fcr GRAY XIA.1 11 with those who prefer its being the former . color. v F. W. Oreenlialgc's (Nashville, Tenn.) EESTOEEE does not gum the hair; will not stain the skin: dispenses with the necessity for chnm pooing by keeping the hair and scalp nice and clean, which w ill save you more money than the Restorative w ill cost you ; speedily restores gray hair to its former color; cleans the head of all dandrnn", itching, humor, etc.; promotes growth of the hair, prevents its falling oil', and renders it soft, glossy and beautiful. Sold at the reasonable juice of 50c A BOTTLE. The In tiles hold ns much as the dollar bot tles or other kinds, and the quality is Kunraiiteed equal to any in use, as nothing but strictly first class articlesjcnler its com position, (iive it a trial, and if it fails to satisfy yon, be sure to return it and tret your inonev. scpL'lnit! "?r-Sold by all Druggists... NEW I.AW FIItM. Sinallinsm & Whitson, Attorneys and Solicitors Room No 4 Legal Row, McMinxvii.i.f., : Tl'NN, Specialties Prompt attention to rusiness Prompt remittance of collections. Howard Female College, Gallatin, Trim. A. M. TU'RNKY, President; (',. .1. CI.A UK, Associate Principal ; Miss Patlie Malone Collegiale Pepartmeiit; Miss Mollie liver man, Preparatory Department ; Mrs. K. ('. 'nrtwritiht, Mump IVpaitnicnt, Miss Lola T. Morton, Art Department. A iion-dcniiiniiiHtiotiul school for Vounu' Ladies, conducted upoi its owu merits, of ferine first-class accoimnoila lions and faeili ties for h thorough education. Board $12. "(' a month. Tuition and music ami ornamental brunches tit usual rates. For further iiiforniMtiMi or circulars dress the Prtsidtnt at tiallatinl cuu. nil- Kail road Monopolies, We are constantly hearing, in aspirit of laudation, of the vast progress and power of our railroad system and of the enormous wealth derived from its manipulation by a handtul of railway magnates. We are exultingly told that in 1881, 9,385 miles of road were built at a cost of $233,750 ; that the number of miles in operation was 104, 813, and that this mileage cost about $0,000,000,000; that the the total number of adult employes reached 1,600,000, representing 8,000,000 of our population ; that Vanderbilt owns $200,000,000; Jay Gould from $75, 000,000 to $100,000,000, and half a dozen other railroad "kings" tens of millions apiece all made in a few years. As an indication of the vast industrial activity of the nation the growth of our railroad system is cer tainly a phenomenon to rejoice at, but as a proof of the facility by which un scrupulous greed, aided by shrewd financial pbility, caa.wring vast sums from the public, the stupendous acqui sitions of the great railroad magnates are sources of disquiet and reprobation. A cause of still greater public alarm, however, should be the great influence over the fortunes of the country lodged in the hands of a few grasping, unscru pulous men by the control of the vast capital and large army engaged iu these enterprises. Half a dozen men sitting together in a quiet ofiice in New York can fix the price which shall be paid to the manufacturer of the East for his wares, to the farmer of the West for his grain, to the stockman of the plains for his cattle and sheep, and to the planter of the South for his cotton and sugar. In most parts of the country, railroads are practically (he only means of transportation between the producer ami the consumer between the man who has goods to sell and the man who wants to buy them, and it is an ac knowledged iuIo of railroad manage ment always to charge freight traffic "all it can bear;" that is, to cut down the profits of the producer by propor tioning the charges of transportation in accordance with the prices .if his pio ducts in the maiket, leaving him only enough to prevent him from abandoning production, thus depriving the railroad (f his business and of the opportunity of "plucking" him; for your shrewd railroad manager never kills the goose that lays golden eggs. The consolidation of a number of different roads and the "pooling" com bination between the controllers of the great "trunk" liner", resting on the agree ment to maintain certain rates on the roads they control, effect a monopoly of transportation and confer on the roads the more than regal powers to limit, in terdict, and regulate traffic and inter course. Rut we are told "there can be no monopoly in law when the construc tion of railroads is open to nil." This may be true, but it is monopoly in fact rather than monopoly in law that the public complain of. The expense of constructing new roads is too vast, and the difficulty of obtaining concessions from Legislatures too great to permit of the easy construction of new competing lines in defiance of the unprincipled op position of existing roads, each of which has a monopoly of traffic along its own course, while a general monop oly over vast areas is created by the "pooling" combination of the different trunk lines. To promote the public interest by facilitating intercourse and traffic, many valuable franchises and privileges and even the power of eminent domain have been conferred on the railroads by the Mate, ror the same ena large grants of money and land to aid in their construction have been made by cities, counties, States and the General Government. To seven corporations alone Congress has granted over 180, 000 square miles of territory an area larger than Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Maryland. In return for these concessions what benefits have the railroads conferred on the public bej ond those inevitable from so vast .a business even when conducted for the most selfish ends, and in an arbitrary extortionate style that would ruin any business that had not been made eo powerful by so many public favors and largesses? Alike for their individual interests and the public welfare it is high time the people should aw ie - : thoroughly to a realization of the pres - : , , i ,- - . j 11,1 ''"" l ' lUiurc u.iugns v. our huge railroad corporations, I t ,i - iu iiuiiiiiam invii urseiu eji'ii-wii; prerogatives aud ad-1 to them they sti fle Jprivate opposition by the oppres sion of individuals or even of commu nities by discriminating against them, while their consolidated wealth and mighty influence 8vay our legislatures, either by securing the election of their own tools, or by corrupting venal mem bers after election. Even the Judici ary has not remained untainted by them. Law-makers and law interpre ters alike have been Bwayed by their demoralizing influences. All over the country public virtue, thrift, independ ence and patriotism have grown indig nant at these gross abuses, and the voices and votes of our 4,000,000 far mers, representing 20,000,000 of our population, should be decisive in abat ing the growing evils from which they more than any others have suffered. Iiural New Yorker. Freights-The Tariff Commission a Farce. Editor Standard: When Congress is in session men of influence and politi cal power are continually. .before the committees in the interest of money power ; and great lawyers are continu ally befoie the committees in the inter est of powerful corporations. Every appliance that the ingenuity of man can devise is brought to bear upon Na tional legislation for the benefit of those who do not need it; but no man of powerful influence, nor any great law yer, has ever appeared before the com mittees in the interest of labor aud pro duction. Labor, the very basis of hu man existence, is made the packhorse to carry every burthen. The unneces sary and exhorbituut taxes, piivileges, import duties, transportation charges, etc., cost the people two thousand mil lion dollars annually. The mass of the people are in the grip of the great money power and powerful corporations, and some man whose mind is imbued with analytical power and charily and mercy for man kind, is needed to master the situation. Congress created mi Arcadian com mission tn investigate the policy of pro tection to American industry by levy ing a tax on article brought from other countries to this. This commission knows about as much about the phi losophy ami utility of a tariff, or the laying of a tax on goods brought from other countries to this, as a cat. This commission is traveling from city to city, w here men appear before them and make arguments, some about one thing and some alxiut another each one advocating his own personal inter est Outside of personal interest not one word has been said to enlighten the committee or the people about one of the greatest questions that can oc cupy the minds of men. The very inception of duties on imports was an effort by legislation to force capital out of its natural channel. No department of our productive or commercial rela- ions can he hotbedded to advantage. Capital should have been let alone and permitted to seek its own investment, and consumers permitted to buy their manufactured articles where they could get them the cheapest. ' It is the duty of the tariff commission to get down to the bottom facts, aud demonstrate to Congress that the whole system of levy ing a tax on imports is in violation of every principle of natural justice. It is a full brother to the bond system of the government of the United States, the great monied corporations, and the powerful inter state transportation lines. The four make up a set of leeches that suck the life blood out of the products of labor. Under such a state of facts our destitute and ignorant people will remain so, aud our rich people will grow richer. If we had some great lawyers and men of powerful political influence to go before the committees iu Congress aud advocate the cause of the destitute, ignorant and ragged peo ple of this country, the whole Nation would be startled at the new departure. The tariff, monied corporations aud transjwrtation lines are literally .con suming the productions of labor, and to-day a majority of the people are liv ing from hand to mouth, unable to ed ucate their children, and will continue to do so till the order of things is re versed. P. C. I J. M. DeLacy writes : "I can as sure you that tn jio single instance has Dr. Moffett's Teething Teething Powers) vrwed a failure. We have tried Soothing Remedies and every thing known to us, and 'old women,' and Tliccihina is rc-eminently a guceesa and blessing to mothers and children Sorghum Is plentiful and cheap in the Lewisburg market, being only - twenty cents per gallon. For the Standard. Woman's Rights. Having just read an article in the Cumberland Presbyterian on tho ques tion, "Should woman be allowed to preach," it sets us thinking on this question, the quite popular question of the day. The position which woman should occupy in the great world about us, and her relation to politics and the professions, are questions which are freely discussed ; and it seems woman is gradually and surely gaining grouud. From, the degradation and misery f absolute slavery aud complete nonenti ty as a thinking, free-willing, free-acting being, in ancient times and in hea then lauds of to-day, she has gradually ascended until now she stands in our own United States.side by side with the lords of creation. She has reached, in our country and time, the highest point of culture and influence ever attained in her history. And to-day she stands, in a certain way, the mightiest power in our land. Now, my dear feminine aspirant, don't disfigure that rosy lip with sneers when I talk of woman's.sphere. It is so ordered by Divine wisdom and be neficence that everything in nature has its circumscribed and limited sphere of action, and it cannot perform any part in another without usurping power that does not belong to it and neglecting the duties of its own department ; and al though the object of the universe and of the human family especially may be the attainment of one grand and glorious end, everything created has its specific part to perform in the accom plishment of this end. The angels have their sphere of action and they cannot go beyond it and continue to be angels. God himself must occupy His particular sphere, or He would cease to be God. He is head or ruler of the universal government. He could not relinquish that position and occupy the sphere of a subject in this government. If He did, the moment He vacated the throne He would ceasfc to be God. And this law immutable this princi ple fixed above the power of God him self, may he traced through all nature, animate and inanimate. If we turn to the brute creation, behold, they have their sphere which they must occupy. They cannot occupy another. There may be degrees of excellence iu a cer tain sphere, but no occupant of one sphere can rise to so great a degree of excellence as to be elligible to another sphere. A monkey may get to bo very shrewd, and, indeed, he might reach a higher degree of culture than any other monkey ever did, yet no one would ever dream of calling him anything but a monkey. He is hopelessly a monkey. Just so with woman. No amount of culture and experience would develop a woman into a man. Now it may be remarked that man kind generally have the same sphere of actioD, and this to a certain extent may be regarded as true, yet the very fact of the two sexes, and the different char acteristics of the two, demonstrates plainly that each possesses absolute in - dividuality in relation to God's plans, and hence his or her specific sphere of action. Now, the foregoing may be taken as the general statement of the question. Given, then, the fact of the differeut spheres of each, to find tiiat sphere. We must draw our conclusions from the different characteristics of each as a basis, and Jet it be remembered that the general or common characteristics of each, as a class, alone can come into this discussion. Isolated cases cannot be considered on either side, but only the conservative man aud the conseva- tive woman the true mau, the true woman. No one looking at them from this standpoint can fail to see that there is a vast difference in their make-up. First, (physically) man, with iron frame, toughened sinews, sharp angles, hard features, stands forth fitted to weather the blast, endure hardships in every form, and come out conqueror. Woman, with delicately moulded frame, soft tissues, beautifully rounded form, and modest features, glides out to wan dcr over flower-carpeted fields, under sunny skies which no tempests darken and no lightnings cleave. Exactly op posite in constitution, they should move in exactly opposite spheres. And, as it is a well established fact in mental sciences that the strong brain is com panion to the strong frame, the woman must be content to allow the roan to carry off the prize for strength in this department. The same contrast is dis coverable in every distinct class of fa& ulties strength, weakness, boldness, modesty, courage, fear, 1 i mean no ai-paragemeut to woman by these contrasts. If all things are to work out the same end, then the sphere of one is of no less importance than another, since each is necessary in his or her proper place. Their spheres then, both mentally and physically, lie. indifferent fields altogether. In our next we shall attempt to get each one into his or her proper field and close up all the gaps, since they manifest an in clination to get together, which would simply result in retarding the work of both. J. D. R. Eagleville, Tenn., Sept. 22, 1882. To' Accomodate the Public The proprietors of that immensely popular remedy, Kidney-Wort, in rec ognition of the claims of the public which has so liberally patronized them, have preparad a liquid preparation of of that remidy for the special accom modation of those who from any reason dislike to prepare it for themselves. It has the same effectual action in all dis eases of the kidneys, liver aud bowels. Home and Farm. A Few Simple Recipes. The Small Boy Take equal part3 of noise, dirt and four-horse-power steam engine; mix with bread and butter.to the taste (the boy's taste), and set the mixture to cool in the middle of a ten- acre lot. If you find you have put in too much noise(which you undoubtedly have), turn over aud knead with the hand or split shingle, The Sales Lady This is a very easy dish. All that is required is a little giggle, brass to season, and a garnish ing of frizzles, bangs and cheap jewel ry, mix in an empty skull aud serve. The Politician Tact, one part; two eyes for the majg chance: one tongue, well oiled, and as much cheek as possi ble. If jou have a little brain handy it may be added sparingly; but it does not matter much, and most housekeep ers consider any use of braiu iu this connection as extravagant. Bake iu a slow oven, so that it need not be done brown. If it be more than half baked it is ruiued. The Poet To make a poet, take lib erally of shimmering sunshine, strain through a rhyming dictionary, aud add equal parts of lovesick adjectives arch aic adverbs and such other words as you may never have hear of. Set iu a warm place, where the whole may be come intimately mingled, and garnish w ith long hair, seedy clothing and an empty stomach. The Author Take such facts as you have in the house and mix with twen ty gallons of gush and twaddle for each fact.and boil down one-half. Then add of classical allusions, threadbare stories and ubiquitous anecdotes ten parts each and serve in a greasy coat and bald head. Some prefer to Bend to the table in curl papers, triced with hair pins, but in this case the sauce "must not be forgotten, and a little politico-poetic-transcendentalism is also a great improvement. A Kiss This is composed of equal ' c , . 3 - . , TTllli 1VU1 n-lUUO VI Oil IV V IU I V"W r 1 1 ii ii in p ti i iwiu fir Diriin iiii-ci in u ni. tage and supernal bliss. It can be made in the dark as well as in the light. Bake in an eliptical . dish, and serve warm. Charity This is usually Berved cold. When warm it is very apt to spoil, and must therefore be used at home Take one part heart and one hundred parts talk, and stir until the heart is dissol ved, and addjsufficient policy and world y wisdom to give it a flavor. Charity made by this recipe will keep a long time in any climate. Boston Tran- script. Getting Rid of Stumps. In the autumn or early winter bore a hole one or two inches in diameter, according to the diameter of the Btump, aud about eighteen inches deep. Put into it one or two ounces of saltpetie, fill the hole with water and plug it close. Iu the ensuiug spring take out the plug and ignite it. The stump will mould away, without blazing, to the very extremity of the roots, leav ing none but the ashes. Scientific American, In nine out of ten cases of Cholera Infantum and Bowel Disorders, that prove fatal from ordinary neglect and subsequent treatment, Qie timely xm'oj lm. Moffetts lEETHiNA Teething rowdcrs) would have saved me child. The box deposited in the corner of the college at Manchester was robbed recently by some niiseradle wretch wu cut through the Btone to the box and alict rant aA rvn font J TKu t innnni rel deserves a mod sunnlv of Fussell'i ; prescription. FIFTY YEARS AGO. Extracts from an Old Newspa per File. Fattening Hogs. A farmer in the Baltimore Farmer recommends saw dust mixed with meal as an excellent article for fattening hogs. We once knew of a man who boasted of having fattened his hogs on sawdust and bran but he sagely concluded that the more bran the better. Tue Red Sea. The water of the Red Sea is bo very clear that ' Mr. Buckingham read on the woodeu stock of an anchor the name of the ship at depth of 25 fathoms (150 feet.) The Star of Glory. When the Convention of New Hampshire was sitting in this town, Concord, in the year 1778, to deliberate on the adop tion of the present Constitution, one of the members, a country farmer, made this speech, just as the vote was about to be taken : "Mr. President : I haye heard rea sons which appear to me to bo weighty in favor of the Constitution and I have heard some reasons which, being an unlearned man, I am hardly able to answer, against it. I must trust something to the judgment of others and I see, to the Constitution the name of George Washington. Through seven campaigns for independence, I followed that name, verily trusting that Providence had designed it for our lead ing star. I was not disappointed. Our independence is established but we are still without good government. W e have now a constitution which I pprove, so far as I am a judge, and to hich I see the same name. I shall vote for it, for I see it is to be our bond f union. I hope it will be adonted. shall always support and defend it gainst its enemies ; and I shall teach my children that it is no false light, w hich here bears the name of Wash ington, but our true Star of Glory." To keep cider iswEET. Here is a recipe for keeping Cider Sweet: "First get all the pomace out of it by thour oughly straining it.' Then put pound round mustard, 2 ozs. 8ult,2 ozs. pul verized chalk, stir them up iu a liitle f the cider pour into the barrel and shake well- Another. Mustrrd seed 2 ozs. All spice 2 ozs. Sweet oil one half pint; and Alcohol 1 pint only. We publish the above for the benefit of all who may wish to preserve this most delightful beverage for home use. We have nev er tried it, and hope some of our read ers will do so and bring us a sample say a gallou, more or less so that we may know whether the recipes are a success or not. That's all. Fact is we believe if tho information proves a blessing a gallon a piece from all who use it will be mighty cheap. Spring'- field Record. Its Action is Sure and Safe. The celebrated remedy Kidney- Wort can now be obtained in the usual dry vegetable form, or in any liquid form. It is put in the latter way for the' especial conveniece of those who cannot readily prepare it. It will be found very concentrated and will act with equal efficiency in either case, Bo sure aud read the new advertisement for particulars. South and West. State Commissioner Hawkius reports that the average corn crop in Tennes see is 60,000,000 bushels but that it will reach 100,000,000 bushels this year. Acorns and nuts were also plenti ful. The farmers hal one third lea hogs than would be required to consume the corn crop and the mast. The lack of hogs was more noticeably recoguized from the fact that there was more corn and mast than could be utilized on at count of tho scarcity of hogs. -The wheat crop will reach nearly 12,000, 000 bushels. Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Renewer" restores health and vigor, cures dyspepsia, im potence, "sexual debility. Jl. A 0.ucer Transaction. A few days ago a hoe belonging lo a negro in Ivockdale county, Ga., got out of the pasture and into a white man s held. Under the stockllaw, the owner of stock lias to pay for damages done, so the white man charged the negro ?2 damages which was the value of the bog. The negro told the man to take the hog; but the next night the hog got out of the white man's pen and into the negro's field. He got him out carried him home, sent for the white man and charged him $2 damages, The hog has changed owners twice and J not a ctut of money has been paid out. Ancient Order United Workmen. The monthly financial statement of Supreme Recorder Sackott for August, makes a most gratifying exhibit to the members of this order. During that month 1,200 new members were taken' in. $144,000 was received on account of beneficiary fund, and $150,000 paid out to widows and orphans during the same time. This order was rgaiized in Septem ber, 1868, at Meadville, Pa. The first supreme lodge session was held at Cin cinnati in 1873. Its affairs have been -well managed by competent," honest men, who have dischrged their duties ' faithfully. It is tho oldest order of tf kindred nature in tha United Stated The financial system and medical ex aminations are thorouhg, and connot be improved upon. A set of supplies was sent D. G ,M. W., W. R. Muse yesterday for a new lodge which is to be organized next week in Coffee county. This gentle man is doing some good work for the" order now. He has ten lodges ready" to be instituted between now and Jan-' uary 1, 1883. The last death reported at the grand recorder's office, occurred' August 9. There was only one death for August and none reported for September in this State up to this time. Since August 5th, the following losses have been paid iu Tennessee: W. C. Roberts, South Pittsburg; John II. Glass, Trenton, J. J. Brooks, Lexington; George H. Miller, Dyers- burg, and K Lr. iiostman, Nashville. W. E. Roberts was paid from surplus. Ou the 28th of this mouthr another death will be paid from surplus Irii Lee.of Jackson Lodge No. 10, at Jaett 8on. This makes $4,000 paid from' surplus during the past Bixty days. After Ira Lee, the losses of James A. tesK of Cosmos Lodge, at Hurabolt, aud C. Y. Smith, Nashville, are ihe' next to be paid. Thus it will be seen the death lusses are being rapidly ad justed. " .VT, Everything is working pleasently" and harmoniously,' both' iu the supreme' and grand jurisdiction, and the indi cations are favorable for a liirgcr in crease this fall thau ever. Ilucliupaiba. Quick, complete cure, all annoying kiduev. bladder, aud urinarv disease?:- 81. Druggists." Are There Such Ranks as This? The Bank Cashier and two of the Di rectors have just finished a confidential chat in the back parlor when in walks the Secretury with a newspaper in his ,iaud, and observes: I "There it is again another Cashier embezzles 830,000 and skips. ' "Ah!" says the first Diredtor. "Ah!" echoes the second. "Ah!" that reminds me," adds the1 Cashier. "If you hadn't happened to mention it I might have forgoten it en tirely. Four years ago I began to rob this bank of a few dollars at a time and) cover my offenses by false entries," "No!" by the three in chorus;- "I have taken $13,500 up to date, and you have not missed a dollar of it.- I can restore $10 of the sum." "Your bond" yelled the president. "Neither signed or dated," replied tho Cashier. "We'll put you in prison!" "And my friends will get me a par-" don in six months." "But think of the disgrace!" "Pooh!" Think of the injury to the' bank, rather. "The Cashier lights a twenty-center and puts his feet on the table, and the trio retire to the corner, whisper, nod, agree anJ the president returns and says "Young man. here is 8500 to take you on a vacation for six weeks; go and regain your lost health, and if you want a certificate write us and it shall' bo forwarded by first mail." Over the State. The Texas fever has struck Coffee county again. There is a scarcity of servants in Manchester just now. Lynchburg wants telephonic connec tion with Shelbyviile. Lawrence county comes to the front with a Bix pound cucumber. Henry county has fresh blackberries, as fine as those grown in July. There is more water around, and less in Manchester than any other town iu, tho State, says the Times. Gainesboro is have a new newspaper " !; to be called the Transit, Prof. L J; Lowe, editor, ays the Upper Cumber- 1 1 1 Uud. '