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The Dispatch. (Provo City, Utah) 1891-1895, January 21, 1891, Image 2

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86091037/1891-01-21/ed-1/seq-2/

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The Diapateh
Entered at the Postofflce at Provo Utah for
ii I transmission through the milli as Second
Clan B mntter1
One year 250 Six months 150
Three months 100 I Single copy 5cts
Anj remittance on subscription at Icsi thai
the rates above siren l will be credited Tor the
time for which tho amount pays and no longer
OiTO your poitofflce address In full lnclu
inr county i
Remit by txprcss money order draft potJ
omce order iioital not or In registered let r >
at our risk
All communications should l bo ndflmsed IM
I Correspondence desired on all pnblc quo
tions llejected communications > win not be
returned unless prepaid and especially re
quested Anonymous communications will
not bo noticed No exception to these rule
We will feel under obligations to subscriber
if they will send in per postal card or other
wUe any personal local itomi of Interest
that may cocio under their observation
The tramp nuisance is becoming
alarming People are not only nervous
about being out at any reasonable
hour of night but it is getting so that
they feel inFecure in their own homes
Men are loth even to leave their fami
lies in the day time while they go to
their work At night they go to repose
not knowing but what the brazen
tongue of the rire hall will arous them
from their slumber It is truly a most
alarming time Here within a very
short period several fires have oc
curred that have been the dastardly
work of the tramp True the build
ings burned have only been stables or
barns or stacks of hay but who can tell
but what the next conflagration will
be one of our host business blocks
WhoD a man trots so depraved that he
will wreak his vengeance on an officer
of the law or an individual for refusing
him something to oat by deliberately
setting fire to an out building there it
no security against him placing the
torch to a more valuable structure
Imagine that the fire of Monday night
had been in the centra of Union Block
what would have been the result un
der the cIrcumstances as they then
existed 1 Why tbera would not haye
been any letup it seems to us till the
whole block had been in ashes
Then what is to be don It is an
evident fact that the tramp nnrf
guarded a ainst
Nearly thirty OL
were corraled last weeli
person of a suspicious nature unable
to gire any account of himself was at
once taken to the city bastile The
police cannot do any more than they
have been doing
Then what naxt It seems to us
then that the next best move would
be for the city to go to work and do
something with the fire department
At least two men one for the engine
and another far the hose and fire ap
paratus shouM be given monthly sal
ami to attend to the work of the de
partment and keep things in readi
ness for emergency Even these two
men upon an alarm of fire being gIven
could get the engine to the scene of
the conflagration and at least have
everything ready to force a stream of
water through the hose as soon as it
could be coupled
Wo would recommend to the City
Council that they give this matter some
consideration at their next session
THE St Louis GlobeDemocrat con
cedes that the party which wins the
presidency in 1892 will I secure absolute
and undivided control of both houses
of congress If the Democrats carry
the country that paper observes
they will gain a sufficient number of
legislatures to give them the senate
In the Fiftysecond COn gres tho Re
publicans will have a majority of
from four to six in the senate The
exact number can only be known with
the action of the legislatures of Illi I
nois Kaunas < and South Dakota
There is no possible chance for the
Republicans to remain in unless
they hold the presidency and regain
the house in 1892 > o reasonable
Republican says the Globe Democrat
imagines if the party is beaten on
Ijie presidential ticket in 1S92 that it
can save anything out of the wreck
This seems to be a correct diagnosis
The year 1892 ought to witness the
complete wiping out of the Republican
TnE North Dakota larmer are pre
paring to flight the new harvester com
bine Different harvester companies
held the notes of farmers in that state
for about 3000000 for machine sold
thom The ground of the contest is i
that notes were given for binders
with the contract that repairs should
be furnished free and the recently
combined American Harvester com
hapiailc a rule that all repairs
44 fnr in cash
frr 1
1 >
There should be no cessation from
work with tine people of Provo nnt i
the raiiroads consent to give us It
union at least bette
a depot
facilities The manner V which
Provo has been treated io i
this respect
has to suy the least bren
en unjust The
indiffeionce on the r Jltrt of the railway
has r
companies aed forth the indig
nation of the r
reople > and the matter
should now kapc in agitation until
wep 1fr at we ask for The day has
p t and gone when a rough
1amhr r shanty would do for a city the
I m2 uitude and commercial importance
of Vrovo What she now needs is a
5runtlira p wnrthtf nf her nneiHrm Tho
citizens have been doing their share
to bring Provo to the frontbut the rail
roads hare not even shown a disposi
tion to say nothing of effort to help
in the good work In consequence of
this considerable of this work on the
part of the community has been
checkmate for the visitor to our city
and the toui ist passing through en route
to the East or to the West have
formed bad impressions of Provo on
account of the unsightly structures
dubbed depots which first meet the eye
on entering tho city
We see no good reason why the U
P and the R G W cannot join hands
and give Provo a Union depot This
would be much better than each of
the roads puting their means in separ
ate structures Of course we realize
that there is not sufficent ground
wherfthe depots are at present situat
ed to do this but we persume there
would be 110 difficulty in getting the
West Square as this ground was prof
fered some time back to the Midland
Railway Co
The Chamber of Commerce commit
tee on railroad is doing silent yet
potent work in this depot question
and we have no doubt but that their
report Friday nights meeting of the
Chamber will be most interesting
The African fever is spreading not
only in Europe but sporadic cases have
been developed in this country by
glowing descriptions of the new country
awaiting development and flattering
accounts of the new El Dorado
Mashonaland and its rich placers The
pathetic sequels to many a dream of
affluence are the numbered graves of
Johannesburg One of the saddest
sights in the world writes a South
African correspondent is the ceme
tery at Johannesburg It is a heart
brea place A piece of raw velt on
e of a hill above the town has
1 JT ngtJilil J
ed up here convinced that a I
hs would make them rich for
jst of the graves are nameless
ae numbered Just beyond the
is a glittering mountain
rueh the sun shines on it it sparkles
with a thousand prismatic colors and
looks like the entrance to tho palace of
diamonds where the fairy Floriz lla
lives but in reality it is merely the
place to which all the rubbish of
Johannesburg is carted and as appar
ently half of the food of the town
comes out of tins the result is a
meretricious splendor quite in keeping
with the other attractions of Gold
How much money is spent in a
single year in newspaper advertising
is a question sometimes raised but in
reply to which it is impossible to give
anything but a very rough guess The
following is a rather ingenious way of
estimating it According to that vera
cious authority the American News
paper Directory the total yearly output
of newspapers in the United States and
Canada is 3481610000 copies Es
timating the price of these at three
cents a piece which is surely low
enough for an average pricewe secure
the figures 104448300 Now it is
generally admitted that a newspapers
income from advertising is in excess of
its income from sales of papers Con
sequently at the very lowest limit the
amount of money spent in newspaper
advertising in the United States and
Canada annually may be estimated at
110 millions of dollars This does very
well for a starting point can some one
suggest a better method of getting at
these figures
DURING the campaign of 1888 Mr
Republican statesmen were loud in
their denunciation of the policy of the
CLEVELAND administration in permit
ting the public money to be deposited
in certain national banks and when
Mr HARRISON became president it
was announced by Mr WiXDOit his
secretary of the treasury that these
funds had been called in and that there
would be no more deposits of that
kind According to the report of Mr
HubTON the United States treasurer
recently submitted the Government
now has on deposit in various national I
banks the sum of 3004711826 So
much for Mr HARRISONS pretended
show of virtue
On that mine enemy would write a
bookl No doubt Mr INOALLS
thought of this on reading the late
letter of Representative TURNKK of
Kansas The offer of the latter to put
up 5000 for the Kansas senator
ship no doubt caused a smile to
illumine Mr INGALLS counten
wheu he recalled the
spout in ex
A p
JSB MAUD ANNIS daughter of the
captain of the British bark James H
Hamlin deserves to rank high among
the heroines of the soa THE DIS
PATCH tells its readers the story of her
courage and perservanco today
When her fathers ship was taken by
that terror of the tropics yellow fever
Miss ANNIS WAS the bravest soul on
board With the first mate dead and
the captain and the rest of tho crew ill
and helpless in their bertha the slen
der girl and the second mat together
navigated the stricken vessel for many
days It was a feat of endurance
as well as daring To stand day
after day at the wheol of a sailing ship
for the length of time that Miss ANis
piloted the James II Hamlin toward
port would have severely tried mus
cles of steel At length the strength
of the heroic girl gave out and when
a pilot boarded them off Aux Cayes
Hayti she too was delirious with fe
ver But her courage and constancy
had saved the ship The name of
MAUI ANNIS should not be forgotten
in the annals of feminine achievement
THE relations between the advertiser
and the newspaper are closer than be
tween individuals in business transac
tions The newspaper brings business
to the advertiser as no other agency
can do It makes the public familiar
with his name and the merits of his goods
and wares It extends a daily invita
tion to the public to visit his place of
business and the return is always
commensurate with the amount of
advertising done On the other hand
the advertising patronage of a news
paper is not only its main source of
revenue but is the measure of its pop
ularity and value There is no other
business transaction in which the
benefits are so thoroughly mutual as in
newspaper advertisng
Corrected I SemiWeekly by J R Boshard
GRAIN Buying Selling
Wheat new No 1 milling
per bu CO
Oats sacked per cwt 175
Barley brewing No1 per i
cwt 125
Barley brewing No2 pr
int 115
Barley feed 1 25
Barley chopped 140
Corn chopped i75
Corn chopped 1 80
Hiph f patent 235
Straight grade 210
Other gradsa 190
Cornmeal 225
Rolled Oats per bbl 7 75
Bran and Short SK 1
Timothy straIght per ton U 00
Timothy mixed per ton 13 50
Red Top per ton 11 GO
Wild per ton 10 50
Lucerne per ton 750
Butter host per lb 25
Butter Utah 23 I I
rr l1ur i 1r
Setail priccTaigr it 15 Pqr n
U PGolng South to Payion
NephiandJuah 918a m
R G Was bound 1100 m
R G W Westbound 230 p m
U PGolni North to Salt Lake 410 p m
U Pirom Salt Lake City 980 a m
HG WFrom Salt Lake City 1110 n m
R G WFrom Donver 250p m
U PFrom Payson Nephi and
Juab 430pm
Money order window opens at 9 a
in and closes at 400pm
Register window opens at 8 a m
and closes at 530p m
General delivery window opens at 8
am and closes at 530 p m
Stamp window opens at 8 a m and
closes at 530 p in
General delivery and stamp win
dows open from 12 ento 100 p m
JSSSE MoAusLAND Postmaster
Artesian Irrigation
South Dakota has taken a lesson from
her various droughts and is preparing to
irrigate tho whole state J There are no
lakes or rivers whence to draw the water
supply hence artesian wells must be re
sorted to There is a state board of irri
gation and a stato engineer of the same
The possibilities of artesian wells seem
infinite They can be utilized as power
for mills farm carpenter shops and dai
ries The overflow can be gathered and
turned into a pool for a pretty fish pond
making a picturesque object in the land
scape and giving a valuable food supply
in a state where fish are in the nature of
things scarce Once drilled an artesian
well will turn a desert into an oasis
which will produce more abundantly
than land where rainfall is sufficient to
be depended on
But the question is How shall the
wells be dug They are expensive the
machinery for digging them is costly
and liable to make an unexpected break
just when consequences are worst Tho
state board of irrigation has this and
other problems to face with a determi
nation to solve them The Dakota Farm
er proposes that several farmers club
together and build wells for each other
on the cooperative plan The ma
chinery costs from 1000 to 2000
Companies are so anxious to dispose
of their goods that they will sell ma
chinery on time part cash the rest in
one or two years With these induce
ments farmers might manage to get
four or five wells with one set of ma
chinery doing the work as well as buy
ing the machinery on the cooperative
Booming tho Town
Thats the sort of a town to live In re
marked Scadloy taking his eyes from tho
paper What about iU
Why Its so healthy that nobody was ever
known to die there nntit tho only undertaker
in the placo had to die himself in order to
introduce the fashion and give business a
boom Philadelphia Times
UnlWll1Ji11 Maui
Oh no dear AJgyl I I love you far too
dearly to let l your poverty stand in the WilY
of our union but do you think we shall be
able to live happily on a hundred and fifty
pounds a year
fv dear Clorindal I
swear to
you by all
jfcdear to make your life a bed
S An lo without a ser
A PROTESTED draftShut the door
forhe vens sake
You cannot expect your children
to be religious unless you make lelig
ion attractive in the home
To save money a man should as
sociate with men whose incomes are
half as large as his own
CANADA imposes a tax of 88 on mar
riages This can scarcely be called en
couraging a leading infant industry
I NOTICE a Salt Like paper says
gum chewing is no lunger fashion
able Spread the news for heavens
IT is a good thing for a mali to have
friends If it were not for yrur
friends you would never be aware of
the many tines you have made a fool
IT is said that the women of New
lork propose to start a daily news
paper That will be well enough if
they will employ men to manage it for
IT may be true that there isnt one
man in ten thousand who knows what
kind of a man he would be if he had
plenty of money But there are a
great many who would like the chance
to find out
A BOY in Massachusetts got whip
ped by his father and brought suit for
20000 lie got not a cent A jury of
fathers said he deserved the whipping
The youth should have arranged for a
jury of sons
DONT worry whether the man who
says nice things to you means them or
not The fact that he takes the pains
to say them is a compliment lIe
doubtless has an ax to grind but it
doesnt follow that you must turn the
So you have eighteen children
And you used to insist that a small
family was the propel thing
Yes I did think so till I moved to
Provo and heard the arrogant boasS
of Logan about her population But
say were going to down that town
WilY were not ha ruch Meshach
and Abedncgo harmed when they were
cast into the fiery furnace asked
the teacher of an American Fo rk Sun
day school And a shorthaired boy
with a bad eye spoke up and said it
because they stood in
was with each I
> Si 8e1t s be
o u1flieffa
Ills In Tt go out in credit
t iortiWjfjfjKihilo can bo said to be
earned t f13 S Jns the business lasts l new
credits take the place of old ones and the
hnporince of n concern is determined by
the number of people able to pay when
they get good and ready i whose names ap
pear on Its credit books
A British tradesman will fail with triple
tho assets in outstanding accounts re
quired to liberate his indebtedness because
he considers It Httlo short of a crime to
bother Sir Clarence or to dun Lord
Charles Accounts of this kind are sought
after and encouraged while those who run
them up know full well that the fact of
their patronage is being laid great stress
on in dazzling plebeian patrons with the
importance of their cocustomers The
one caving feature of the system is that
the aristocratic patron never deserts his
appointed tradesman except for good
cause > and never fails to recon end him
on every occasionCor Clot o and
Ho Saved Something >
We meet many peculiar characteilvln
this world I ran across a man onceand
he was a man of intelligence and a man of
splendid family wealthy and all that
who lost his rife and who in tolling me
of his bereavement said
Well I will save something out of the
wreck I can wear her stockings See
here and he rolled up his pantaloons
Sure enough there were womens stock
ings of fine texture and reaching away
above the knee lie proceeded to explain
that he hnd bought her several pairs at S2
each just a week before she died but she
had never bad any use of them and he
would have to wear them out though ho
was sorry ho had bought them
Tho idea was so funny that it was all I
could do to keep from laughing right out
as the saying is hut the man was so very
serious that I repressed tho inclination to
do so I told him it was sad hut as long
as he could save something out of tho
wreck by wearing his dead wifes hosiery
he was not in such a bad fix but still he
could not see the ludicrous sido of his nar
rative St Louis GlobeDemocrat
Story of an Intelligent Cat
A New Hampshire physician sends mo
the following cnt story for which ho
Among other queer tricks Dick will
take off my glasses very carefully with his
paw hold them with one claw and survey
them with great apparent interest
Tho first time he did this was one night
when he had been napping and I reading
He is it great pet and going to him I bent
over without indicating by any motion
my meaning and said gently
I Dick if yon want to go to bed take off
my glasses
He immediately reached tip a paw and
t2ok them off as deity vs though it were
an old habit Thinking this a happen so I
put them on and made the same request
in different words with precisely the < same
result After one more roputition he
yawned and plainly intimated that was
enough Philadelphia Times
Still Hustling
An energetic young uiuu with utasto for
newspaper work succeeded in obtaining
employment on one of the New York dai
lies Ho had said that all lie wanted was a
start and he was ns busy as a buzz saw
thereafter One day a friend stopped him
in his impetuous chase after fame long
enough to ask him how he was getting
along Oh 1 am doing splendidly tho
young man answered with enthusiasm
Have you written anything yet
Yes indeed I have I wrote ten col
umns and n half last week all good stuff
That is good I am glad to know that
you are doing so well Your last weeks
work must have paid you pretty well
No not so very well said the young
writer hesitatingly you see they have
not printed any of my matter yetNew
York Tbies
= A S
FUk11TUkE OF ALL 11Nps
Bedroom Suites 22OO and upwards
Parlor Suites and Upholstery at Bargains
Baby Carriages Lace Curtains Portieres Racks Etc
Trial and Sentence of a Successful French
Combatant Dueling in Germany
The trial of M Belz alias Villas in the
criminal 1 court of Aix goes to show that
dueling as it exists in France is some
thing far more serious than it is gener
ally believed to be in this country M
Belz was the editor of a paper called The
Bulletin Officiel du Comite Revisionniste
and M Louis Pierotti was employed in
The Petit Provencal of Marseilles The
manuscript of a romance intended for
the feuilleton of The Petit Provencal was
submitted by M Belz to the editors of
that journal 31 Pierotti was charged
with the duty of reading it He reported
against it and it was declined as un
available The affair was made the sub
ject of a newspaper controversy in
which M Belz considered himself suffi
ciently wounded to call for a settlement
upon the field After considering the
case the seconds decided that there was
no cause of quarrel and the thing was
believed to have blown over when M
Belz again came to the attack in in in
I suiting article in his paper ending with
IJ Pierotti alluding to his
he A liglJl
fpierotti as his name indi
The weaponS AtiuItnt but he was a
lUte a shprt and fierFrench
French repub
Pierotti was run through ii iutio 5 j
dead in the arms of his seconds While
his body was lying in the Hospice de la
Conception where it was taken in the
carriage of his adversary his wife and
little daughter were waiting for him at
the Hotel de Marseilles where he had I
promised to meet them to see the re
turn of the troops from the review
M Belz then went to a dinner party
where he loudly glorified himself on
the result of the combat which so en I
raged the rest of the company that they
forcibly ejected him from the dining
room He then proceeded to a banquet
of Boulangists after which he was ar
rested and admitted to bail The other
day lie and the four seconds in the duel
appeared before the criminal court of
Aix on a charge of homicide and com
plicity therein I
When Belz came upon the stand to r1
ply to the president of the court he g f
with a swaggering air the following hlr
count of the affair
M Bouge had charge of the combat
In one hand lie held his watch and in i
the other a cane Pierotti and I were
both naked to the waist He defended
himself very well In fact he astonished
me The point of my weapon struck sev
eral times the guard of his and his sword
pierced my glove but without wounding
me At the last moment he rushed at
me with a coup do fouet Then I riposted
and ran him through
The President You must have used
extraordinary force tOdrive your weapon
completely through your adversary
Belz Why not at alL I pushed the
steel quite naturally Then seeing that
he was wounded I stepped back and ex
claimed You are bleeding And he
was dead
The President What was then done
with this unfortunate young man
Belz in a careless tone Everybody
seemed to have lost his head They all
began to cry and faith it wasnt amus
The President Did not Pierotti re
ceive several pricks in tho arm before he
received his mortal wound
Belz No those scratches wero made
after the thrust
The President And so for a few lines
thoughtlessly written for a quarrel with
out reason in which you do not figure as
having had the best of it wo find our
selves in the presence of the corpse of an
intelligent and kind hearted young man
who was beloved by everybody and is
now torn forever from his little family
Voila 11 mom lite du duel
Belz There might have been two dead
men instead of one
He received two years imprisonment
But the strangest state of affairs exists
in the German army A Paris corre
spondent of Courier des Etat Unis writes
Among the oCicers the thing is sim
ple enough and it follows its natural
course on one side of the Rhine as well
as on the other But that is not tho case
when a civilian becomes mixed up in the
affair In France the officer insulted by
a person outside of the army is inspired
simply by his own feelings in the matter
He goes to his superior or chef de corps
and explains the case The latter after
having looked carefully into the
matter advises him only to fight
or not to fight as the case may
be In Germany an officer insulted
under the same conditions is not free to
give to the affair the sequel that he
might desire There exists in each regi
ment a tribunal of honor to whose de
cision he must submit If this tribunal
permits him to light the officer without
further hesitation goes ahead but if
the decision forbids him to go upon the
dueling ground the case becomes seri
ous for the insulted officer because i
every officer who does not obtain satis
faction for an insult is obliged to quit
the army And it is the same if the in
sulter refuses reparation Under these
conditions the German officer may be
compelled in spite of himself to hand
in his resignation Even if the tribunal
decides that the insulter is not worthy
to cross swords with an officer the lat
ter finding himself in the impossibility
of exacting satisfaction has no other re
course than to resign And if he does
not resign in twentyfours he will be
compelled to do so by the tribunal of I
honorNew York Sun
A Letter Slue Years on Its Travels
A registered letter supposed to con
tain something valuable was returned
to the Baltimore postoffice recently
It was sent from here toNae
for a party there ai l 1 J1 < 1 t S
151881 The regti rl1 gl lfir 01
lered letters to be r 1 1 Jfr 1 01
within thirty days
letter had no expla
J after its nearly ni
t 1 New York If th
L will call at th1t1
HeBy tEeljy ti
you remember that
such an awful ass of
SheWhich fPUl1l
Anecdotes Which Show His Real Char
Like all men of strong convictions ag
gressive pcisonality and extreme capacity for
making wixin friends or bitter foes Gen
Robert C Schenck who died recently at
Washington was the object during his life
time of much exaggerated praise and an
equal amount of undue criticism Perhaps j I
the greatest storm of abuso that ever poured
upon his head fell just after President Lin
coln had commissioned him brigadier general
of volunteer at the outbreak of tho late civil
war Schenck was a civilian a lawyer a suc
cessful politician an exdiplomate but of
military affairs he knew nothing and those
opposed to him said so in plain terms His
appointment was denounced in one leading
newspaper as an outrage on the soldiers and
it was suggested that he be turned over to
some orderly sergeant of the regular army
and made to drill like sixty for a month
It was only a little after his entering on
active military service that Schencks critics
found a new occasion for reiterating their
original views The general was engaged in
securing possession of the Loudon and Hamp
shire railroad At Vienna the train convey
ing his forces was fired upon the engineer un
coupled the locomotive and ran away and
Scbencks handful of men had to face a band
of very eager and active opponents Tho
truth of the matter as afterward established
was that the combatants on both sides dis
played creditable courage and came out of
the contest with honor but Schencks en
emies declared that he had been ignominious
ly routed and sarcastically dubbed him the
hero of Vienna
The probable reasons why President Lin
coln gave Schenck his commission were two
in number For one he knew l the man to be
able aggressive and brave And again he
considered himself under great personal obli
gation It may not be generally known but
it is au actual fact that Mr Lincoln gave
Schenck the credit of first naming him for
the presidency In September 1859 tho for
mer addressed a meeting at Dayton 0 on
the politial issues of that period Allusion
being made to the subject of the next presi
dency Mr Schenck suggested that if an
honest sensible man was wanted it would bo
well to nominate distinguished gentleman
from Illinois who had just addressed them
However if the beginning of Schencks
military career was not glorious either I
through lack of experience or want of oppor i
tunity ho showed conspicuous gallantry and j
ability later on At tho second battle of Bull
Run while in the thickest of the fight and j j
urging his men forward a ball struck his
right wrist and his sword dropped from his
hand Says one of the historians of tho war
Soldiers still enjoy telling of the generals
rage and fearful imprecations at tho loss of
his sword He refused to leave the field
until he had recovered it The wound perI j
maiieutly injured his right arm and for the
remainder of his life Gen Schenck wrote
with his left hand
When minister to England Gen Schenck
became the target of a good deal of adverse
comment because he ivas reported to have
published a book on poker playing for the
use of the English aristocracy Poker i
Bob as ho was afterwards called by his op
ponents never took tho trouble to deny the
charge but his friends claimed that he sumi j
ply wrote out the rules of the game In com f f
pliance with the request of a lady She had 4
the manuscript put in type and issued a few
copies of the pamphlet for private circula
Gen Schenck spent the last years of his
life hi absolute retirement He gathered
about him a few old friends but cared to
make no now ones Asone of his biographers
says His enemies spoke of him as selfish
his friends called him whole souled generous
big hearted hosoitable
Wanted to Patronize Him Himself
Speaking at a supper given to him in Liv
erpool recently Toolo tho celebrated como
dian said that once when playing in Edin
ourgh the part of tho Artful Dodger In
vhich he wore a pair of trousers to which
there was quite 3 history attached he met a
Scotch gentleman to whom In conrse of con
verbatiou ha recounted tho fact of having a
pair of trousers which had been worn for
cearly forty years The Scotchman ejacu
lated Guid 1 Whas your tailor
Morning Journal
His Scheme
i t g l
711ZOez Or7 7gsrineter shoot dat swine fit
Thf QTo knock him in do head wid
opotosell fur porkso Iso
m full er shot eta don sole him
Grandmas j
Yes where aro they
The glasses that grampa gave your
For a Christmas present
Yes tell me where they aro
u Are they the glasses that you read the
Bible with grammar
Ob yesl Im getting impatient Freddy
Get them for me
Glasses that you read about David and
G rliah with and the three children In the
fiery furnace T
Yes the same classes Tell mo whara
they are and quit asking so many questions
Do you want to read with them now
No I want to sew
What are you going to sew gramma
I want to hem a few handkerchiefs
Fennel I
No grandpa Where are those glassed
you little tormentr
You cant sew with the glasses can you
Of course I can I cant sew without
hI thought you sewed with a sowing ma
chine grnm mil
Oh you aggravating boy I Look right at
mol Now tell me where those glasses arts
Havent you seen them lately
Nome William H Siviter In Puck
He Never Saw Any
The following dialogue occurred in court
at FarminRham recently
What day did you fix up the lino fence
asked tho attorney
The 7th of September said the witness
When did you go to work for tho plain
The 1st of September was the reply
How long after that when you went to fix
the lino fence
About a fortnight
Is it a fortnight from tho stat September
to the 7th 1 asked the astonished attorney
Whereupon tho witness coolly replied
Yes sir I think it Is
A quicker witted reply was that given by
a witness at e close of a tedious cross ques
Now tell me how many sheep you ever
saw under oath now remember
I never taw a sheep under oath replied
the witness which closed the examination
New York Telegram
She Was Smart
HeI love you Maud I
SheAll right Harry I And you may keep
company with mo this summer on a few con
Name them sweetl
You must not try to work
ice cream racket on me nor c t <
ins accidents out of papere
tell any chestnuts abolt1OO
picnics They wop v
wo can get alont t >
American c
En Kov
SceneParlor car ou Ne
Haven railroad
Dramatis Persons Young v Lj
and young man of ditto fc
He Can you tell me which An
you like tho bestS
SheWell really I cannot mako
mind between Now York and Boston I
HeYes Sis hours L a short time Life
What It Called Up
Mr Billus greatly bored by the play
Maria that fellow is positively the wont
stick I ever saw on the stage Ho makes lovo
to that pretty little countss like a hippopota
mus trying to court on angeL
Mrs Billus much interested Ho does
John he does But how vivldlyIt seems to
recall the days of our courtship John Chi
cago Tribune

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