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Issued Every Saturday By S. D. TAYLOR, Proprietor. Th« Mistake. Would-be Contributor (to editor)—Now, sir, I have no hesitancy In pronouncing this the best, the ripest product of my pen. I wish you would read it at once, sir, for I know that it will meet with your highest ap probation. Editor—I'll get to it os soon as 1 can. Contributor—Read it, now, sir. Indeed, I will stay right here until you do read it. I know it is a great story, and let me tell you that I carried it in my head ten years before I wrote it. Now, read it (editor remis it). What do you think of it! Don't head ate to point out a mistake, sir. Editor—You say you carried it in your head ten years! Contributor—Yes. Do you find any mis takes! Editor—One. Contributor—A serious one! Editor—Very. Contributor—What is it! Editor—The fact that you did not continue to carry the story in your head.—Arkansaw Traveler. A Model. Young Man. Overheard on a Wagner car. Pussy old gentleman to a chance traveling lady com panion: "Have you any children, madame!" "Yes, sir, a son." "Ah, indeed! Does he smoke!" "No, sir; he has never as much as touched • cigarette." "So much the better, madame; the use of tobacco is a poisonous habit Does he fre quent the clubs!" "He has never put his foot in one." "Allow me to congratulate you. Does he come home late!" "Never. He goes to bed directly after din ner. "A model young man, madame —a model young man. How old is he!" "Two months."—Truth. Wliy Daniel Escaped. Grandma had taught our two-year-old to answer a great many Bible questions, and was fond of "showing him off." these occasions she asked him: "Who «'as put in the lion's den?" "Daniel," was the prompt answ'er. "Did the lions eat Dauiel!" "No." "Why!" The answer should have been: "Because God shut their mouths," but the little fellow reflected a minute and then said: "I dess Daniel wasn't dood to eat."—De troit Tribune. Ob one of A Bad Gift. "Did yon hear about the sell that all ouah set had on me!" said Reginald Hiccolah to a young woman. "No." "Didn't you? Why, I'm suhpwised. They weally gave me away vewy badly." "Gave you away!" "Yes, indeed." "Well, somebody must have been swin dled," was the thoughtfully spoken rejoinder that sent Reginald away without any further conversation.—Merchant Traveler. ' I v' Betting a Good Example. Arabella (to her little brother)—Bobby, you are really a very bad boy. I wish 1 could teach you better manners. Just hear what it says in my book on etiquette: "Always be polite in addressing members of your family. Be as courteous to them as you would be to a stranger." Bobby—Rats, Bella Arabella—Oh, you nasty little reptile, why don't you listen? (Seizes him und shakes him vigorously.)—Muusey's Weekly. He Was in Doubt. Jon jones— You look perplexed; something your mind, I'll be bound. „ Jftsmith—So there is. Jonjones—You're thinking about your sweetheart, I suppose. Jasmith—You've guessed it. Jonjones—You are in doubt as to whether she truly loves you, eh ! Jasmith—Nothing of the sort. 1 am in doubt as to whether she has any mouey.— Yankee Blade. . II Away Up. Editor—Mr. Critique, I am told that the play at the Central theatre last night was a flat failure, and yet yon say that it met with the highest approbation, formed that there was not a bit of applause beard, except from the gallery gods. Critique—Well, sir, if you can get any ap probation higher than from the third gallery, 1 want to know it.—Lawrence American. I am also in Wanted Him Carried Away. Dudeslv—Yaas, the—aw—music at the con cert was absolutely—aw—divine. Why, 1 was—aw—perfectly ca« - wied away by it, doncherknow 1 Crusty (who is being greatly bored)—For goodness' sake, isn't there some one who can whistle that music!—Lawrence American. HU Literary Effort. Jones—Hello, Smith; back from the west again, eh? What did you do out there? Smith—Started a pajier. Jones—Alia! What was the name of it! Smith—A subscription paper to get DM hack east again.—Burlington Free Press. A family Tiff. "Perhaps you are not aware that I had over a dozen proposals of marri g e before 1 got yours," said Mrs. McDougall stiff ly, after a little tiff with her lord and master the other morning. "And perhaps,' madam, you are not aware that I proposed marriage to near ly a score of women before I became ac quainted with you," retorted that gen tleman haughtily.—Exchange. The Time for Such. Tommy (after reading the paper)— Papa, what's a tory? And have we to ries in this country? Papa—Yes, my son. For instance, at some seasons of the year we have fish «tories.— Pittsburg Bulletin. Bob 0**n*' Ball. Bob Owens' bull was the property o' a rail road presideut, says the 8t. Louis Globe-Dem ocrat, and occupies a conspicuous place in railroad history. Marion Sheridan Knowles, of the Savannah, Florida and Western road, enjoyed a personal acquaintance with the leading characters in this bit of railroad his tory, and says "he knew the bull by sight." He describes the animal as a magnificent specimen of the Durham breed, with a Jovian crest, an eye of Are and bright scarlet nos trils. He was a bull with a fairly good opin ion of himself, and he didn't care much who knew it. Bob Owens, president of the Nor fold and Western road, running between Bristol, in West Virginia, and Norfolk, Va., bought him in England and installed him as master of the herd on a very flue farm which he owned directly on the lino of the road. One of the characters on the Norfolk and Western was an engineer by the name of Alf Whalen, an excellent man in his business, and with a national reputation for nerve and coolness. One bright day, when Whalen was running a freight train down the side of the mountain at the base of which is situated Owens' stock farm, he was a trifle discon certed to see in the center of the track, di rectly ahead of him, the famous Durham bull, with his tail standing straight up, head erect, and pawing the ground savagely. The train was running at an unusually rapid rate, but Whalen pulled the throttle open, and the engine bounded ahead for all there was in her. The bull was hit fairly and lift ed over the mountain side in a twinkling. The station agent at the farm, when 'Wha len told him what had happened, telegraphed President Owens the facts. Whalen pulled into the depot at Norfolk two hours later and «'as met by Owens. Old Bob was wild with rage. He spoke with difficulty. "Well," said he, "you played "How—how—what do you meau?" asked poor Whalen. "Killed my bull, did you, eh!" "Well, now, see here, Mr. Owens, if you wanted that bull to run on this road you should have put him on the schedule. You see, he was running on my time. The track and right of way belonged to me, and I just took it." He Was Used to Such Thin*. "My poor fellow, you are pretty badly used up," said a man to a victim of a railroad ac cident, whose arms and legs were broken, and «'hose skull had suffered a fracture. "Oh," said the bruised and battered indi vidual, cheerfully, "I don't mind a little thing like that; I belong to the Howl college football team.''-Drake's Magazine. 1' Metamorphosis. 1 ill Ml?/ Practical Demonstration. I will dose iny lecture, ladies and gentle men, by giving you some idea of the streng b of ice of different thicknesses. Would you fora moment suppose that ice two inches thick would support a man"_ j Envious Plumber (in back part of room, aloud)—Our iceman supported his entire fam ily on ice an inch and a half thick, and did it comfortably, too.—Life. | Evening Up. I Tailor (calling on doctori-Here is t..is bill of six dollars that I have called on you half a dozen times about, and this is my last visit, Doctor-That's right sir I charge a dol la. a visit and we'fl now call it J^uare. Clothier and Furnisher. Éf, m* I ■ r • 2 - *i -r I I K h i I K *«£rf t /b k-a " HP *3' - 4 - 'V — —Humorlstiche Blaetter. sir! 1 Low Water. Water in the Snake river has been so low this season that settlers have bitterly com plained of the dust raised by the salmon go ing up stream. They threaten to ask far an appropriation to sprinkle the river next yea; If the nuisance is repeated.—Alta California, - Desolate. Along the Bauds the wild winds screech. With fierce and fiendish glee; There are no couples oil the beach, No spooning by the sea. We bear the circling sea gull scream. And fiercely beats the spray Where lately, dreaming love's young dream. Fond lovers used to stray. I The kids are goue who used to sport Beside the snow white tent; In short, the beach, as a resort, Just now ain't worth a cent. j —Boston Courier. An Appropriât« Name. Jones—Say, Browne, why do you call your eldest boy Telephone? Browne—Because be never works.—Epoch. True Generosity. Greene—What do you do when you get stuck on a counterfeit bill? White—Give it to my wife.—Mun sey's Weekly. AT REST. Î Poor girll Fold her hands, crom her feet. Leave her to her »I timber sweet; £ho hath earned It welL Every day for many years Cause had she for hitter tears. And they dally fell. Bee the hollows in her cheek, Marks of woe she could not speak; Seo her sunken eye. Worn and wasted Is her frame, None too soon her slumber came; Touch her tenderly. Hard as iron was her fate; Life for her was desolate, Full of yearnings vain. Sympathy and loving care Fell not to poor Mary's share, tVake her not again . AU she misled faithless proved. Every rreivl lire that she loved Shortly changed, or died. Good it Is for her to rest. Seldom, sure, was human breast More severely tried. Often has she slept before. Dreaming woe was hers no more. Life and sorrow past; But from such delusive sleep Ever more she woke to weep— Peace is hers at last. Poor girll - True snd tender hearted one; Hard it was that death alone Comfort had for her.<^ Fold her hands, cross her feet. Lay her, robed all white and sweet. In the sepulchre. Augusta Moore in New York Mail and Express. Thonglit Ho Knew Every One. Tom Fletcher had the good fortune to be born in County Kildare, Ireland, and to emigrate to New York at ten years of age. At twenty-five he had attained a six foot physique, a big black beard and a clerkship in "uptown postofflee sta tion Q." Looking through the little brass bars of the general delivery one day he saw approaching Mr. Barney McGuffin, a fine old Oirish gentleman he had known »" bo . vbo <> d The o d man was un P«ÄllK8a t but the boy had outgrown Mr. McGuffln's remembrance. "I dunno, is it too late fur t' stamer th' day?" said the old man as he poked a letter through the bars for "The Widow O'Brien, Curragh of Kildare, Kildare county, Ireland. "An' is this to de Widde O'Brien that lives on d' Ballywink road?" said Tom in his best brogue. "An' how the divil did you know she lived on d' Ballywink road?" "Phat would Oi be doin' in de post orfus af Oi didn't know the Widde O'Brien lived on d' Ballywink road? i Git away from d' winddy now; you've ' had y'r toime. " • And the old man was frequently seen to stop on the sidewalk and gaze with awe and wonder at the man "what knowed iverybody in Oireland."—Dry Goods Chronicle. "Can yottrecall, more than a single in stance of a man of letters marrying a literary wife?" asked a Chicago writer the other day. "Browning? Yes. I j know another instance whioh cornea pretty near it v I do not think the fact j la generally known, but James V^hit-1 comb Riley, in the earlier days of his i literary career, was a most ardent ad mirer of Ella Wheeler, the poetess of 1 passion, and a favored suitor for her "Both the young people were poor, however, and neither had attained a na tional reputation at that time, although ' both had written some very charming j specimens of verse. 1 do not know | whether Ella ever intended to marry the young Hoosier poet or not, but 1 do know that young Riley was nearly heartbroken i when their cordial relations were sun- j I High Sheriff' Benjamin Disraeli. | jrjgj, antiquarian has discovered ^ the "Benjamin D'lsraeli, Esq.,'' who , , . , A , was high shenff^f the county ot Carlow j in 1810 was an uncle of Lord Beacons field. He is buried in St. Peter's church, Dublin, having died iu 1814, aged forty eight. This Benjamin, of whom none | 0 f the writers on Lord Beaconsfield ap- j pears to have known anything whatever, ! I left a large fortune, and bis will, which : u preserved in the Dnblin rec0 rd offlce> . _i Bnpd -Ren-iitmin Disraeli" Lord Pr|| T 5 nrfir1rl 01K . e wroU3 ' asking for a copy of his uncle's will, but neither his name nor his father's appears in the ' document. Benjamin D israeli the elder was onlv the half brother of the author of the "Cariosities of Literature."- " The Poet Riley and Mr». Wilcox. hand. dered."—Chicago Mail. . j asked Col. Percy \ erger of a darkey he used to own before the war. "He am dead." Extrem« Ohl Age. "How is your father coming on?" "Dead, is he? He must have reached an advanced age." "He did dat. for a fact. He was libin' up to de bery day of his deff. "— Texas Siftings. A physician has succeeded in grafting the skin of a frog to that of a tortoise, and the skin of a tortoise to that of a frog, and also in securing the growth of a frog's skin upon the skin of a man 64 years old. Bone grafting is not so far advanced, bnt has met with the same success as skin grafting. Have lots of fun, langh all yon can and keep the sunshine in your heart if yon want to be well, young and popular. The world hates a woman with a griev ance. There is absolutely no profit in being blue and very little sympathy attend ing it. It pays to be honestly happy. Saw« Cosmetic Advice. If yon want advice from me yon will have to take it as a cosmetic advice, for Î I object to sailing nnder doubtful colors. As to good cosmetic practice in steaming the face do not allow the steam to be too. hot. Yon can actually parboil the tis sues with steam much below the boiling point. Th * moisture gives the benefit, not the extreme heat, which should only be ap plied for a few minutes and the face al lowed to cool gradually after it. A tin pail or pan, holding two quarts of water, boiliug when put in and suffered to cool, will temper the face by its cooling. A teaspoonful of eucalyptus oil, thy mol, oil of red cedar, rosemary or laven der added to the water makes the process pleasanter and improves it both for face and lungs, and especially benefits the eyes. Throw a thick towel or flannel over your head, and steam the face over the pan ten to fifteen minutes, having first washed the skin with warm water and soap. As to the injunction so insisted upon by masseurs and others, there is always the risk of nourishing the hair bulbs of the skin as well as the skin itself. The dry air of our climate and our houses tends to make the skin of the face susceptible to the hair producing quality of most fats and oils, so that it is safe to banish these from face treat ment wholly; Hot milk is a safe, nourishing lotion for the skin to restore its plumpness, laying linen wet in it on the cheeks for minutes after massage, not before. Milk whey, sweet or acid, is a famous lotion for giving softness and clearness to the skin, and the belles of Paris dote on their baths of whey for repairing the ravages of dissipation. Saponified creams of the mildest sort are well applied be fore and after steaming. The French use these soap creams for more than we do—for all toilet purposes. To finish the steaming sensibly don't dash cold water on your heated face, but wash it in tepid water, wipe with a warm towel, and do not expose it to cool air until the sensitive, burning sen sation passes off. Young women may play pranks with their circulation and complexions, but women of the age, when they begin to take serious care of their looks, need the warm, dry towel rather than the cold douche. Faces are not to be scrubbed and hardly treated in any way if you i would have a fine skin, as well as a ' plump one and good color.—Shirley Dare's Letter. Making Had News Wait. Gertrude Atherton may say what she chooses, but there is no question that some of her sex can display a mental resource and presence of mind in sud den emergencies that would do credit to a general in action, The other day Mrs. McFrivol, of Van j Ness avenue, entered her parlor where 1 j ber four daughters were waiting for the | carriage to take them to the Bigwallettes ! j bal1 and said: "My dear girls, I have just received a i letter in a black bordered envelope from London, where, you know, your uncle 1 William has been seriously ill for" "Great heavens!" exclaimed the young ladies, beginning to weep. "Of course there is every reason to sup pose—don't make your noses red, for ! ' gracious sake—to suppose that it con j fains sad news, but ' | "But, maw," exclaimed the tearful quartet, "just look at all our neYv gowns, and—and everything." i "Exactly," continued the modern Cor j nelia. "I was going on to say that while the worst is to be feared, on the other I hand we really know nothing definite as j | yet, and, considering all the circUHl stances, 1 have concluded not to open , the letter until tomorrow morning." , . , . . And repowdenng their noses with grateful smiles the girls rustled beam ingly out.—San Francisco Examiner. j & | w « me " Speak in a Maine Town Meeting. ! j Caribou held its annual town meeting ! ! Monday. When article 10 was reached, : which was to see "what instruction the : town will give the selectmen aBout li- | censing bowling allevs, pool, bagatelle and billiard rooms," it was moved to in- ! definitely postpone, whereupon Deacon ' Merrill asked that ladies be permitted to be heard on the question, which, being granted, the deacon was ordered to es cort the ladies into the hall, which was at once done. Mrs. Teague, Mrs, Wright, Mrs. Tay lor and Mrs. Spaulding being introduced ! to the meeting, gave their views upon j the evils directly and indirectly growing t out of such rooms. Two lawyers chain- j pioned the saloons, but a vote taken showed that women are a power in poli tics, as more than two-thirds of the voters were in favor of tue indefinite postponement of the article.—Caribou Cor. Lewiston Journal. t;ncour*s;iii(.) First Youth (at railway depot) — Traveled far? Seeond Youth—Not yet, but I expect to before 1 stop. I am going West to seek my fortune. First Youth—Just got back, me a dime. Like Hl» Mother. Mrs. Smiler—"Our new neighbor thinks our dear little Tommy takes after me. Do you think he does?" Mr. Smiler 'A e», indeed. I gave him half a dollar yesterday to get some candy and he spent every cent of Lend it. A LEGEND. There has come to my mind a legend, a thing 1 had half forgot. And whether X read it or dreamed it, ah, well, it matters not. It is said that in heaven at twilight a great b^il softly swings, And man may listen and hearken to the wonder ful music that rings. If he puts from his heart's inner chamber all the passion, pain and strife. Heartache, and weary longing that throb in the pulses of life— If he thrust from his soul all hatred, all thoughts of wicked things, He can hear iu the holy twilight how the bell of the angels rings. And I think there is in this legend, if we open our eyes to see, Somewhat of an inner meaning, my friend, to you and me. l«t us look in our hearts and question. Can pure thought* enter in To a soul if it be already the dwelling of thoughts of sin? So then let us ponder a little; let us look in our hearts and see Xf the twilight bells of the angels could ring for us—you and me. —Somerville Journal Tones of the Voice. It is a curious fact that the topes of civilized races are louder and Lnu-Jier than those used by savage tribes. In deed, among people who are classed a^k civilized, it will commonly be found that the more highly cultivated, up to tain point, speak in the sharper tone. Of course, when cultivation and refinement have reached the point that the tones of the voice have become a matter of atten tion and care, the rule no longer holds, for then low, well modulated tones are acquired as an accomplishment. The philosophy of this ]>eouliaritv iieems to be that the same energy anil vigor which give certain races the leader ship in advancement are accompanied by unusual nervous strain, and we are weU aware how plainly nervousness is indi cated in the tones. The jieople of New England speak in a sharper and shriller voice than their cousins in old England. They are also more intense in feeling and more eager in action. That this difference is not due to the influence of climate is apparent upon a comparison of our people with those of the dominion to the north and east of us.'f It is only as climate or other agencies may affect the entire character of a peo ple that it has anything to do with the tones in which they speak. Commonly, as we approach the tropics, we find the voice lower and softer; but, then, this is only in keeping with the whole life of the people, which shows less of force and earnestness than that of people who in habit the temperate zone. It suggests that they are too indolent to raise their voices. The writer recalls that he has more than once been asked by persons from Brazil and from the Spanish countries of South America, who were new comers among us, whether those whom they overheard were really scolding, for they discovered no petulance nor ill feeling except in the tones of the voice. Such questions are calculated to awaken profit able reflections.—Youth's Companion. a cer j 1 | Elizabeth Gloyer, in her book, "Fam ! ily Manners," devotes a chapter to de ploring the New England habit of re-? pressing one's feelings on the matten*» nearest at heart, and never allowing them to find expression in words. She says: There was a railroad accident, and a poor farmer's wife was taken out, bleed ing and unconscions. The doctor and a ! kind woman were working over her when her husband came in and stood a moment, looking on in disturbed silence. j her up, did ye?" ....... and at once asked tor her husband. j "He's safe." said the doctor shortly. She | felt his curt tone, and faint as she was ! 6 he divined what it meant. "He's a ! dreadful feelin' man," she said, "but he don t never say much. : | length ami Breadth of Undo,,, The metropolitan area of London ex ! tends over some twelve miles from north to south, and some seventeen miles from east to west: within this space thirty nine governments so rule the houses f roads, drains of their three millions and three-quarters of subjects that for the last ten years the death rate has been only 22 j per 1,000, or but 1 per 1,000 in Too Well Hidden. His cheeks were drawn in, his eyebrows lifted, his hands in his pockets. Presently, with some effort, he cleared his throat to speak, and as the doctor looked up he asked, "Ye didn't see a new tin dipper lyin' round where ye picked He got no answer from the indignant doctor, and presently strayed out again in search of his dipper. Meanwhile his wife opened her eyes ! excess of that of the whole country. In j the seventeenth century it is t that the deaths exceeded the births in j Loudon, and the death rate was then , about 49 per 1,000, or more than doable J what it is now, and higher by far than the mortality rates of the unhealthiest | cities of Europe today.—London Tit-Bits, believed Tb« Troublesome Father-In-Law. Among the Piutes it is always the father-in-law that makes the trouble. Every married Piute is always glad of a visit from his mother-in-law. He welcomes her with his broadest grin. The arrival of the mother-in-law gives him a double team, where before he had only one animal. He hails her appearance with delight, and piling a jackass load of wood upon her willing old back, sends her into town with his wife, similarly packed, to peddle out the fuel and bring back to j Rim a supply of money lor his favorite g ame 0 f poker. The Piute father-in-law j s no use aB a wood packer, nor will he ' gather grag8 ^ £ pine ' uuU ,_ Vlr . . ginia City Enterprise.