The Caldwell tribune. [volume], March 10, 1894, Image 2

About The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928

Image provided by: Idaho State Historical Society

                
Caldwell Tribune
]{. II. »»avis, I'uUIUIter.
CALDWELL IDAHO
KOW IT came ABOUT.
My neighbor was a Widder, an she bed a run
down farm,
An her rows an pigs an chickcnsdonc a mighty
lot it' harm
To my fields ajinin, an I stood it quiteawhile.
Till 1 wouldn't be imposed on in no »ich kind
o' style.
ßo I looked my very maddest es I walked up to
her door.
Till she looked up at me smilin while a-washin
up tlio Uoor,
And her cheeks was red es roses an her hair es
black es night—
1 forgot to ccold an s ass her fer she seemed so
sweet an bright.
But my hand was to the plow now, an it
wouldn't never do
To forgit them depredations jes' by lookin at
her shoe.
Bo I gathered up my anger, an I said, "Now,
Mrs. Brown"
An my tone put out tier eyes' light, an the lashes
they fell down.
Bat I ain't tio man fer foolin, an I went right
on to say
How her pigs et all my melons an her cows et
tons o' hay.
Bow lier chickens scratched my corn out, an 1
wouldn't hev it bo,
Olttin harder all the time, like a madman will,
you know.
Then the widder sho looked up, with a tear
drop on her cheek
An a-eomrthin in her throat that wouldn't let
her syeak.
But she sobbed an cried out in a kind o' teary
tone '
That she had no one to help her an was poor
an all alone.
An my hand was olT the plow then an a-reach
in out fer hern—
I bed learnt a suddent lesson that I never
thought I'd learn.
Well, my scoldin was a failure, seein what I
thought to do.
For her pigs an cows are all here, an the wid
der's with 'em too.
—Yankee Blade.
WERE THEY FALSE OR ONLY FICKLE)
"Why Eob, you dear old fellow.
Where have you been these years?
In India, Egypt, Khiva,
With the khan's own volunteers?
Have you scaled the Alps or Andes,
Bailed to isles of A mazonss?
What climate, Bob, has wrought t o change
Your face from brown to bronze?"
She placed a dimpled hand in mine.
In the same frank, friendly way.
We stood once more on the dear old beach.
And it seemed but yesterday
Since, standing on this same white shore,
Sho said, with eyelids wet,
"Goodby. You may remember. Bob,
But I shall not forget."
I held her hand and whispered low,
"Madge, darling, what of the years,
Tbo ten long years that have intervened
Since through the mists of tears
We looked goodby on this samu white
beach,
Heru by the murmuring sea?
You, Madge, were then just twenty.
And I was twenty-three."
A crimson blush came to her cheek.
"Husli, Bob," she quickly said,
"Let's look at the bathers in the surf.
There 's Nellie and Cousin Ned."
"And who 's that portly gentleman
On the shady side of life?"
"Oh, he belongs to our party, too—
In fact. Bob, I'm his wifel
"And I tell you. Bob. it's an awfal thing
The way he does behave;
Flirts with that girl in steel gray silk.
Bob, why do you look so grave?"
"The fact is, Madge, I, well—ahem!
Oh, nothing at all, my dear.
Except that she of the steel gray silk
Is the one I married last year."
—Cincinnati Commercial Qazette.
Sir Boyle Roche Indignant.
Autograph letters of Sir Philip Francis
are authority for adding this to the many
famous Irish "bulls" attributed to Sir
Boyle Roche.
Some ladies went to the Irish house cf
commons to hear a particular debate,
which happened to be put off till the next
day. Sir Boyle Roche said:
' "Indeed, ladies, I am very sorry for your
disappointment, but why didn't you come
tomorrow?"
One day the house being remarkably
quiet, Sir Boyle said: "Mr. Speaker, I spake
to order. An honorable gentleman who al
ways sits behind me is perpetually laugh
ing in my face! I move that before he
laughs at me any more he will be pleased
to tell me what be is laughing at."—
Youth's Companion.
A Beauty Course.
Several Viennese physicians have made a
specialty of woman culture. One of them,
a Dr. Robert Fiscner, says that his practice
of this sort is so great that the days are
not long enough. Continues this frank
speaker: "Numbers of mothers put their
daughters through a whole course of beau
tification when they are in the marriage
market. That's tbe time when the most
elaborate reparations of the human form
are ordered and undertaken. I have a great
deal more to do in the spring and fall tbun
(or the most fashionable balls of the yeaf. "
Trying to lied u ce Expenses.
Husband—This book says that walking
is not sufficient exercise and that arm ex
ercise is too much neglected. So your idea
that you get exercise enough trotting
«round shopping, while hired servants are
doing the housework, is all nonsense.
Why not discharge the servants, my dear?
Your health really needs arm exercise, you
knew.
Wife—Does it? Very well. Hereafter,
when shopping, I'll buy more and carry
home the bundles.—New York Weekly.
A Doubtful Case.
The garrulous young man's chin hadn't
been still for three hours. The last half
hour had been devoted tocaution in speech.
"It is a very difficult thing,"he said, "for
any person to say nothing."
"I don't know as to that," dissented the
young woman very gently. "You have
been talking all evening."—Detroit Free
Picas.
ADAM'Û NAÏVETE.
A Woman I>f fem!s the First ?"aa From
Charges of Cowardice.
Atid the Lord eai <l, "Hast then eater,
cf tho tree whereof I commanded thee,
thou shouldst not eat:" The man said,
"The woman whom thou gavest to be
with me —sho gave me of tho tree anil I
did eat." This, it has berti held for cen
turies, was Adam's great sin, for which
bo was driven out cf the garden and
his descendants, even to the present gen
eration, compelled to work for a living.
In addition to bearing the consequences
of bis error Adam has been denounced
through all succeeding centuries for his
cowardice and lack of gallantry in try
ing to throw the blame upon the woman
who had been given to bo with him—
"God s first, best gift to man."
Wo are glad, therefore, thateven after
6,000 years of unmerited condemnation
which tho memory of our great pro
genitor has bad to bei.r there has arisen
one person who dares to speak for him.
And it is all the more fortunate that
that person is a woman—a member of
tbe sex whom Adam's words, by a
wrong interpretation, were held to have
maligned. This person is Mrs. Caroline
F. Corbin, a distinguished authoress. Id
her latest book sho says of Adam's plea:
"This is not the expression of cow
ardice, but of tho innocent and native
belief that anything which this lovely
being, fresh from God's hand, proposed
must bo right, and right or wrong
must bo done. It is a trait which has
come down in unbroken continuity of
inheritance to the latest born of Adam's
sons."
The thought is a new one, but there is
not a man alivo and capable of appreci
ating Mrs. Corbin's argument who will
not iiidorso it. Where is there a man to
day, barring a few crusty old bachelors,
who would not have done tho same thing
under liko circumstances? The woman
was beautiful, tho apple was good, and
Adam was an unsophisticated, ingenious
young ihan unaccustomed to the little
social arts aiid deceptions that the
daughters of Mother Eve have learned
from her example.
We insist that Adam is vindicated,
and that Mark Twain's tears over hi3
grave were a deserved tribute. Now,
let the building of his monument pro
ceed. And let it be recorded thereon
that "he was a kind, loving and obedient
husband."—Troy Times.
Country People to the Front in Cities.
The conflict lietween city people and
those who live in the country is as old lis
history. There always has been an influx
from without to within. So long as the
area of cities was limited, this was strong
ly and successfully resisted by the citizens.
They felt themselves a superior class to
tbe rustics. The very words "urban" and
"rustic" tell the story.
The Romans called the outside dwellers
"villani;" from which come two words,
one of honorable significance, "villa," and
the other, perhaps a little modified by
mediaeval use, "villain." Roman citizens
looked down upon the country folk as an
average New Yorker does upon a stray
Jerseyman from the pines.
All literature has been tinged by this
feeling, and both writers and statesmen
have continued to deplore the excessive
growth of cities as a national evil, and
have exhorted countrymen to stay at home,
telling them how much better off they
were in the country.
Observation has now taught us that this
growth of cities is a necessary part of the
evolution of our social structure, and that
it is not a growth at the expense of the
country, but for the benefit of the country,
as well as that of the city.— T. C. Clark in
Scribner's.
What a Bad Digestion Does.
A doctor has been comparing the state of
mind of a man before dinner and after who
suffers from indigestion. Before dinner
the patient's thoughts are something of
this kind:
"What a jolly thing life is! How grand
it is to breathe the pure air, to revel in the
glorious sunshine, to laugh and lie merry!
With friends all around, a prosperous fu
ture before one, all one's hopes and plans
turn out well. It may safely be said
that we live in a good country, and that
life is the most enjoyable state imagina
ble."
But after dinner, when the salmon and
the cucumber and the lobster salad have
begun to do their deadly work, the same
man thinks something like this:
"Life is a fraud. Those who say life is
worth living are humbugs. We go about
the world with a heavy load of care, and
from morning till night our time is spent
in battling with new annoyances. Bills
pour in on every side, failure stares us in
the face, every cherished hope is dashed to
the ground. Bah! The whole thing is
humbug!"—Ixindon Tit-Bits.
A Cruel Earl.
The Earl of Rothes, who has but recently
succeeded to the title so long borne by his
grandmother, was recently convicted by a
board of magistrates and sentenced to a
fine for cruelty to a cat by setting his ter
riers at it. It is only fair to add that this
chief of the ancient Scotch house of Leslie
is still a schoolboy at Eton and only about
16 years of age.
Vnele Sam's Postmistresses.
There are 6,335 postmistresses under the
United States government, the largest
number in any state, 463, being in Pennsyl
vania. There is one in Alaska. The oldest
is Miss Martha E. Stone of North Oxford,
Mass., who has held her office 46 years.
Second Thoughts.
Miss Olde—Second thoughts are best,
Mr. Starr, and I've concluded to give a
different answer to your proposal of last
night. I am willing to become your wife.
Starr—I agree with you in thinking
second thoughts are best, and I am sorry
I asked yon to marry me. I shall not
repeat the question.—Yankee Blade.
WAYNE MACVEAGH.
Evcatfnl Career of tlio Man Appointed to
Succeed Vail A Ion.
WayneMacVeagh, who has been r.ppoint
ed by President Cleveland to the post of
embassador to Italy, was formerly a promi
nent Republican and held several positions
of great honor and importance under ap
pointment from different presidents elected
m
m.
m.
V.'N.
Ä-V1
I s*
y,
WAYNE MACVEAGH.
by that party. President Grant, during his
first term, appointed him minister to Tur
key, an<J be remained at Constantinople for
two years. President Hayes selected him
as tbe chief member of the famous Louisi
ana commission of 1877, which went to the
Pelican State in the endeavor to bring the
conflicting parties there to some sort of an
amicable understanding, and President
Garfield in 1681 appointed him attorney
general of the United States, which post he
resigned, with the other members of the
cabinet, after the accession of President
Arthur.
Mr. MacVeagh has been conspicuous as a
civil service reformer for several years and
has been chairman of the Civil Service Re
form association of Philadelphia. He left
the Republican party and supported the
candidacy of President Cleveland because
he did not approve of the course of Presi
dent Harrison on civil service matters, and
the letter he wrote explaining his course
was one of the sensations of the campaign.
Born in Phoenixville, Chester couuty,
Pa., on April 19, 1833, Air. MacVeagh was
sent to Yale college at an early age and was
graduated on attaining his twentieth year.
In April, 1856, he was admitted to the bar
at West Chester, Pa., and was elected dis
trict Attorney of Chester county within a
very few years. During the war he served
for ashort time in the home guard of Penn
sylvania, and in 1863 was made chairman
of the Republican state central committee,
in which capacity he conducted a guberna
torial and presidential campaign. Mr. Mac
Veagh is a brother-in-law of Senator Cam
eron.
Russian Discipline.
A story is told illustrating the ngid dis
cipline of the Russian army. One of th»
grand dukes told the czar that a sentinel
at tbe railroad crossing at Peterhof tcfused
to raise the gate for his carriage, although
the train was not due for three or four
minutes. "It is against orders, your im
perial highness," the soldier replied, the
rule being that when the gat« was shut it
must not be opened until after tbe train
had passed.. The cfcar said he was glad to
hear that the soldier knew how to obey or
ders. The grand duke laughed and said
he was certain that if the czar himself had
been present discipline would have given
way. The czar did not reply, but a few
days after, to put the matter to the test,
he drove up with the czarina just after tho
gate had been lowered. The czar called to
the sentinel to let him pass. The sentinel,
in great trepidation, saluted, but did not
move the gate.
"Open the gate, 1 tell you," cried the
emperor; "don't you know who I am?"
Yes, your imperial majesty, but it's
against orders, and 1 cannot open the
gate," answered the sentinel, still salut
ing and turning almost blue with anxiety,
but not moving an inch from his place. "I
am the czar, and I command you to open,"
cried the czar again. "I can't do it., your
imperial majesty," despairingly cried the
sentinel, still standing firm. Just then the
train passed. The czar burst into laugh
ter, and warmly commending the aston
ished sentry, presented him with a twenty
five ruble^note and drove back to the
palace.—New York Sun.
A Criticism In Scientific Light.
The giants in our gigantomachia, whose
thighs change at half their length into
serpents, and which, instead of two legs,
stand on two vertebral columns running
out into heads, with separate brains, spinal
marrows, hearts, intestinal canals, lungs,
kidneys and sense organs, are and remain
an intolerable sight to the morphologically
cultivated eye, and prove that, although
the sculptors of Pergamon were superior
in technical ability to their predecessors of
the age of Pericles, they were inferior to
them in refinement of artistic feeling. They
were perhaps pardonable so far as tradition
bound them, for making giants with
snakes' legs.
The hippocamps and the Tritons with
horses' legs and double fishtails which
disfigure the railings of our Schlossbrucke
come from another time, when the antique
still ruled unrestrained and morphological
standards were less common property than
they are now. But it is a matter of deep
moment to us if a famous painter of tbe
present suffers such monstrosities, issuing
from the trunk, as sleek, sheeny salmon
hardly concealing the line between tbe
human skin and the scales, to dance real
istically on the cliffs or splash around in
the sea.
The multitude admires such blue sea
marvels as works of genius; what a genius,
then, must Hollen-Breughel have been!—
E. Du Bois-Reymond in Popular Science
Monthly.
A Change.
Husband—You have changed washer
women, I see.
Wife—Yes. How do you know?
Husband—Instead of getting Brown,
Jones and Robinson's shirts, I am getting
some strange garments I never wore be
fore.—New York Weekly.
!
sure death for both. j
PJspîay off Kemarkablo Nerve Ry »Ton«
derfoot in lss ;:ing a Challenge.
"1 once saw a challenge ta a duel issued
and accepte«! and the time, place and
weapons named. The affair, however, did
net come to any issue."
The speaker was Dan Qninn, the well
known writer of wild and woolly western
character and dialect stories.
"It was in Deadwood," said he, "about
eight years ago, and the two men who
were to have been the participants had
been snarling at each other for many days.
One of them was a young, consumptive
looking fellow from somewhere east, and
cf course was held in much contempt by
the old timers. In some indefinable way,
however, many of them seemed to have a
kind of respect for him, as on one or two
occasions he had given evidence that per
haps after all he was not to be laughed
at. He was, to these semiadmirers, an un
known quantity, and while they were all
anxious for some opportunity to present
itself in which be would show what he
was made of, yet not one of them cared to
furnish the looked for chance.
"The man who did the snarling was per
haps the only man in the select clique that
hung around the saloon where the quarrel
finally materialized who did not believe
that the tenderfoot had any nerve, and he
never missed an opportunity to intimate
as much. On the night in question the
two men had been unusually spiteful, and
it was a cinch that there would be trouble
before the daylight broke in.
"Finally the old timer made a remark to
the other that there was no mistaking. It
meant business. The young fellow heard
it, and without moving a hand announced
to the other that he had heard the remark
and that lie had a proposition to make.
The crowd was in the right humor and the
boy was allowed to go on.
"He said that he was a tenderfoot. He
was aware of it, he declared, and he felt
sorry, but he also said that if the other
would give him a fair show he would fight
him. Then he made what was considered
a remarkable proposition. He asked his
antagonist to lay aside his gear, to make
no plays, but to issue him a challenge to
battle royal. He had, he said, conscien
tious scruples against being the aggressor
in a quarrel, but he was perfectly willing
to do the square thing when the show
down came.
"Well, after much parley the big fellow
agreed to the deal and the challenge was
issued. The boy at once accepted it, named
guns jus the weapons, the place the saloon
and the time right then. But his condi
tion under whieb the duel was to lie fought
was the remarkable part of it. He insisted
that he and his opponent should stand
face to face, with the toes of their right
boots touching. Their guns were to lie in
their belts, and at the word they were to
draw and fire. Thero could be only ono
result. It was a daring proposal, but
whether it was a bluff or not was never
known. Tho other crawfished and apolo
gized. and the outcome of it was that the
two men became partners. But nobody in
Deadwood ever intimated again that the
young fellow was lacking in nerve. He
showed that he had something about him."
—Chicago Inter Ocean.
Australian Hospitality.
Australian station hospitality keeps the
latchstring always out and says, "Come
when you wish, do what you like, and
stay as long as you can." A writer says
that the Australian host places himself,
his family, and all that is his at the serv
ice of the guest—fishing tackle, breech
loaders, horses and servants. Such hospi
tality is rarely abused, though the writer
mentions one exceptional case, where the
guest prolonged his visit until it wore out
his welcome. To one station came a vis
itor, whose original intention of staying a
month was reconsidered, and he remained
two.
Six months passed, and he was still there.
He enjoyed himself hugely with horses,
dogs and guns, developed an encouraging
! appetite, and bis host did not complain.
After aliout nine months the host's man
ner became less warm, and at the end of
the year he spoke no more to his guest.
The latter was not sensitive, but lingered
on for tbe space of a second year, when he
departed and went to visit somebody else.
During these two years he was never told
that he had staid long enough and would
do well to go away.—Manchester (Eng
land) Times.
Tortoises That Made Good Eating.
No provisions for ships were ever found
equal to the Galapagos tortoises, which
will remain in good condition for a year
without food or water. A supply of the
latter is carried by the animals in a bag,
which contains as much as two gallons
sometimes. They are very sagacious, and
when kept on deck can be taught to con
fine themselves to any space arranged for
their accommodation by whipping them
gently with a rope's end when they get out
of it. The meat is said to be finer than
that of green turtle.
Dam pier, the explorer who visited the
islands in 1634, wrote that the flesh re
sembled a pullet's in flavor. "The oil," he
says, "we kept in jars, and used it instead
of butter to eat with dumplings." Rogers,
in 1707, wrote: "The eggs of the turtle aro
as big as those of a goose, white, hard
shells and exactly round. Two men rode
on the back of one of the creatures, which
weighed 700 pounds, and it carried them
with ease."—Boston Transcript.
Her Size.
Shoe Merchant (measuring her foot)—Size
two will just about fit you, I think, little
girl.
Little Girl (doing her own shopping)—Oh,
dear, no 1 That's too large. Icanwearhaff
past one.—Chicago Tribune.
Invariably.
She—I wonder if there will be anything
to talk about in the next world?
He—Oh, yes. You know there is always
something to say on the other side.—Bos
ton Transcript.
About Even.
Bagley—Are you square with the la&d
lady yetf
Brace—Pretty nearly, I guess. I haven't
paid her a cent in two months.—Puck.
nature never niggardly.
ITlien Wo Exhaust One of Her Storehouses,
She Immediately Opens Another.
T". is well known to everybody thnt t'ja
seeds of the cotton plant were for many
years regarded as waste and worthless ma
terial. Millions of tons of them have been
thrown awav, and one of the perplexities
of tue cotton p anter was how to get rid of
this enormous bulk of stuff that had no
market value.
Within a recent date, however, cotton
seed has become utilized, and instead of
being useless it has come to be well nigh
priceless. It furnishes an oil which can be
used for mechanical purposes and is easily
niable as a good and cheap substitute for
olive oil. From 3,000,000 to 5,000,000 tons of
seeds are produced every year, and the
planter finds in it a very fortunate addition
to his profits.
But a still further use has been discov
ered. An English inventor recently found
a way to convert this oil into rubber, and a
large number of factories in the United
States .are making out of it a substance
which is likely in the near future to oust
from the market tho rubber product of the
Caribbean coast.
Nature is never niggardly, rud when we
clear out one of her storehouses she imme
diately opens tbe door of another. Our
whaling fleets 50 years ago represented one
of our most important industries. Nan
tucket and New Bedford grew rich and
prosperous, sent out scores of vessels on
long voyages, sometimes of two or three
years.
But whiles grew scarce, and we wondered
what would become of us. The whaling
craft rotted at the wharves, because it was.
no longer profitable to man them. Then
some lucky fellow, digging a well in Penn
sylvania, found to his surprise that oil gush
ed wit instead of water, and all the world
wondered. Other wells were sunk, com
panies were formed and colossal fortunes
were amassed. The whales could be dis
pensed with, for under every man's farm in
certain localities was an inexhaustible res
ervoir of the precious fluid.
And now we are told that this whole
delta of the Mississippi is composed of mud
which is valuable as a fertilizer. The soil
is a rich deposit, which has been brought
by the lazy curçpnt for 1,000 miles, is the
gift of every state through which tbe river
flows, and some years, or some generations
hence, it will prove a bonanza to its own
ers. We ship fertilizers from distant quar- 1
ters of the globe, and they are as market- '
able as wheat or corn. The demand is 1
steadily on the increase, and it is not im- *
probable that the acres of black loam at'
the mouth of our lordly river will be
shipped for the enrichment of northern
farms. '
Ail this seems very odd, but at the same "
time it is very interesting.—New York '
Telegram.
The Viviacctor Held Up.
One of the most curious expeditions ever
planned by man was that once undertaken
by Dr. J. G. Bunting of Portland. During.
all his life he had been a close student of
tbe philosophy of digestion, and for the
purpose of his investigations be had that
remarkable Canadian, Alexis Su. ftlartin, j
in his care for 20 years.
In order to cinch matters and provide*'
facts for some of the doubting Thomases, '
Dr. Bunting cast about for some one else.,
upon whom he might continue to experi
ment. He could think of but one plan, and '
that was to go into Africa, buy two slave*
and operate upon their stomachs. By open,
ing the body near the fifth rib and pej 1
forating tbe stomach a condition could b J
produced slfnilar to that existing in- tf
person « f St. Martin. Therefore the doc'^0
purchased bis supplies and sailed across
Tunis in the north of Africa. There
hired a native chief with 40 of his follow f
ers, paying them a liberal retaining fee and
promising alluring largess when thetrty *
should be ended. „
They set forth. Tbe doctor carried £l,0r
in his inside pocket, and the chief probarbi,
lay awake four nights thinking about tb
matter. At any rate on tbe fifth night t
sneaked into the doctor's tentanddeliven '
a litt le address over tbe muzzles of two pi,
tols. When be had concluded, tbe docU,
passed over his ducats, and the chief passe.)
over the border along with his renegad
band. They helped themselves to sucb sup
plies as suited their artless and unenlighf ,
ened tastes. The doctor came back wit) '■
out a retinue, but with a deal of experient^'
that will never appear in a medical work^
— Lewiston Journal.
Killed by Imagination.
The odd fact is that a man's mind i*>
stronger than his body, and if he decides,
that tbe wheels shall stop at a given time
they are very likely to do so. An emotion
will influence a heart beat. Tbe physical
machinery is depeudent on what is goin
on in the brain.
On one occasion a condemned felon wa3
given in charge of some doctors for experi
mental purposes. They blindfolded him,
bored his arm, told him they were going to
bleed him to death, made a puncture in th<^
artery, but without drawing a drop of , f
blood, and then let warm water trickle
over the flesh. The poor creature was un
der the impression that he was really bleed
ing, and while the doctors talked in whis
pers he grew faint, his heart slowed in its
action, aud after awhile be was stone dead.
It is a good deal better to think you are
going to live than that you are going U$
die. Many a sick man hds got well because
he wanted to. The body is the veriest slave £
of our thoughts and passions, and if you
have a notion that you are ill tho notion »,
will create illness. Keep cheerful and live
as long as you can.—Exchange.
A Modiste Explanation.
Mrs. Bedford-Chord—I see that after
making me a gown and a tea jacket of that
silk you had enough left to make curtains
for your waiting room window, Mme. ^
Longbill. I won't complain if you will tell
me why Mme. Cutwell refused to touch
that silk and said there was not enough of
it for even a gown.
Mme. Longbill (calmly)—Probably Mme. j
Cutwell's waiting room has two windowa.
—Kate Field's Washington. rj
Sticking Plantar for Corna.
Ordinary sticking plaster makes a good
remedy for corns, as it keeps them soft an«,
prevents the rubbing.—New York Journal. -