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Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, October 01, 1886, Image 2

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An Affermit of Gentlemen Wh« Wer« T««
Htlitgj to Knjoy Good Health.
A party of men were speaking of
stingy people. "Old Peleg Gregg was
the stingiest man I ever knew," laid
Abe Patterson. "Tell you what'a a
fact. He was sick one time, just on
the caving bank of death. Some mem
ber of the family sent for a physician,
and when the doctor arrived, Peleg
" 'Whut do yer ax fur yer mediolne,
doctor—how much a doseP'
" 'Let me see, about fifty cents.'
" 'How many do you think it'll take
to cure meP'
" 'Two, I think.'
" 'Fifty cents apiece 'bout aa cheap aa
yer kin sell 'em?'
" 'Tell yer what'll do. I'll gin yer
sixty cents fur a dose an' a ha'f.
" 'Won't sell that way. :
" 'Wall, then, good day.'
"He was surely a very close man,"
said Rufe Potter, "a very careful man,
but you never beard of Sack Scallop,
you? He lived down on Longmetre
Bayou. One day he was out in the
woods and a tree fell across him and
mashed him into the ground. He yelled
and veiled, and finally a fellow came
along' and asked what was up.
" 'Nothin' up,' growled Saek. 'I'm
down, that's tne trouble. I want vou
lo chop this here log in two an' roll it
offen me.'
" 'What'll yer gimme?'
" 'What do yer axP'
" 'Do it for twenty-five cents.'
" 'Great Scott! do yer think Pm
made outen moneyP'
" 'All right! won't do it for less.'
"'Wall, now much'll yer charge ter
go home an' tel) my son ter come out
" 'Ten cents.'
" 'W hut, jes' fur walkih that little dis
tance? Yer must take me fur a fool.
Go on, 1 don't want nothin' to do with
yer.'' "
"Well, he was prudent," said Bill
ings, "almost morbidly so. He re
minds me, in point of economy, of an
old fellow named Jerry Finch. One
day he went into a store and wanted to
buy six feet of rope. The dealer, know
' Jerry's peculiar love of monev,
him that lie might have the rope for ten
" 'I'll give you five.'
" 'I can't sell it for that. Whv, man,
you've got plenty of money and ought
not to grumble.'
" Yes, but times are powerful hard.
Can't stand that price.' He went away
and after staying about two hours, came
back and a-ked:
" 'That rope fell any?'
•"No, sir/
" 'Good-bye.'
" 'So long.'
"The next day he entered the store
and remarked: '1 hear that rope is
fallen' all over the country."
" 'That so?'
" 'Yes. Hear that over here at Cot
ton Town yer kin git ten feet fur a
" 'Why don't you go over there?'
" 'Don't want to wear out my shoes.
Say, has it fell any here?"
" 'Not a bit.'
" 'Wall, good-byo.'
" 'So long.'
"Two days later lie came back. •Say,'
said he, 'hain't yer got some old rope
that vou ken sell cheap?'
" 'ÏJo old rope.'
" 'New rope hain't fell none yit?'
•"Confound the luck, take it along
for a nickel.' The old fellow oarefuily
measured the rope, and with a disap
pointed air, said: 'Say. it's three
inches short; can't you knock off some
" 'Yes, give me four cents.'
" 'Say three.'
" 'Well, three.'
"He gave him a postage stamp and
hurried away. That evening he was
found hanging from a rafter in his barn.
He left a few lines of writing congratu
lating himself on the fact that the rope
arith which he hanged himself was so
sheap. There may De closer men, but
1 have never met them ."—Arkansaw
Ti avcler.
A Promising Speculation.
A countryman strayed into the
Petroleum Exchange yesterday, and
watched the proceedings with great
"What are they doin'?" he inquired
of Frank Tack.
"Buying and selling oil," replied Mr.
Tack, indulgently.
"What's oil wuth?"
"Sixty-five cents a barrel."
"What!" whispered the countryman,
with suppressed excitement, "only
»ixty-five cents? You buy me all you
ran'git, Mister; tbe barrels alone 'll
fetcli more'll that"-— Puck.
Not a New Discovery.
Bagiev—This is an age of invention,
Clara. Have you heard of Dr. Bell's
discovery ?
Mrs. B.—What did he d -cover?
"Ile d »covert d that the human voice
aftecii d liu ds- water, for instance. I
(lou t exactly sep tlie drift of the diseov
try, but ii is' very wonderful."
••It is. indeed: and I have discovered
just tlie oppos'te, that fluids affect the
roice—whisky, for instance. Have you
sver noticed "that, William?"
(Curtain falls in dead silence.)— Phil
nl tj.hiu t all:
-ltow a pin s can lo t a patent;
—Doctor." su! I an o <| «ranger t> h
smart, young p'sys c u i. '-what wool'
■you do for a th rd-day chi 1. who.
qu uine ha- no moiv e.'eol than so
m idi clear water?'' * in the lirsl
I lace." aiMwere the doc or. with »
<lr smile. "I would rail n a good
physcinn." '-Thank you.'' sa d the
gr; tiger, rising to go w 11 do a
you say. 1 reckon I'll ''nd Dr. Smith
• n liis ufl'co. Good-da .'' —San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
Looking at Hydrophobia Inoculation In
tho Light of Becont Catastrophes.
It is becoming more apparent every
lay tha'. the hopes and expectations
based on id. Pasteur's method of treat
ing wounds inflicted by supposed rabid
animals were premature and unwar
ranted. When several of the Russians
who had been bitten by wolves died in
despite of inoculation it was said that
tiie virus of rabid wolves was much more
powerful than that of dogs, and there
fore the treatment had not been success
ful in those cases,
girl who had been bitten b, a dog,
treated in time, according to M. Pas
teur's theory of incubation, thoroughly
inoculated and discharged, as was sup
posed, oured, has died of hydrophobia.
1: rema ns to be seen what the explana
tion offered in this instance will be, but
I is not necessary to await it to per
clearly that it ean not be satis
factory. The death of this girl, in fart,
must be regarded as demonstrating the
fallacy of the reasoning founded on M.
1 anteur's preliminary experiments, for
it proves that the inoculatory process,
owever carefully and fully performed,
liable to produce no protective re
Its whatever.
Now, h< wever, a
moreover, lends
fres'i significance to the experiments
sud conclusions of Dr. Spitzkn. The
latter, it may he remembered, employed
substances in inoculatiou, and
Th's occurrence.
W ilt nearly all of them he found it
I ossible tô produce the symptoms
usually ascribed to hydrophobia. These
experiments indeed inevitably suggest
doubt wh'eh at an early stage of his
public treatment was raised concerning
M. Pasteur's method. "How," it was
inquired, "is it to be known, in the
event of death occurring after inocti
lation, whether it followed from
bite of the dog or front
treatment?" Now if, as has
leen shown by Dr. Spitxka, various
forms of sp nnl meningitis can be pro
duced by inoculation, and if, aa in the
majority of Pasteur's cases, there is no
certainty that tha dog whieh bit the Dole
girl was really rabid, how can her
hydrophobic symptoms, be
confidence attributed to the
It seems quite possible that
death, with
vith an
dog b'.le
tha inoculation may hnve been the actual
cause of her death, in fact; anil while,
so grave an uncertainty remains it is
perfectly clear that therein no justifica
tion for adopting the Pasteur method as
a trustworthy remedy; or even for re
garding it as free from very ser ous
dangers.— F. T. Tribune.
An Ancient Spanish City Full «ff Attrac
tions for Historians.
Travelers only pa g s a day or two at
Cordova to see its monuments and re
tail the memories of Roman, Arab and
Goth; of Boabdil, who passed part of
his captivity here; of Ferdinand and
Isabella, and of Columbus, who came
here to lay his plans before the King
»nd Qneen during the campaign of
»ranada. They pass on instead to Se
ville, which has memories of like an
t qtie internet, and of every Spanish
monarch, ineluding the present Isa
bella; has many monuments, and a cli
mate regarded as one of the most per
fect in the world. And while Cordoba
lias but forty-two thousand inhabitants
dwelling over the ashes of its past niil
Sov ille has three times
number, and is therefore
able to add all tha modern con
veniences to ita facto of history and its
fascinations of romanee. Good hotels
re only to be found in the largest ctiçs
n Spain. Seville has one or two of the
best. Its drives are pleasant The coun
try about it is lovely. From the Giralda,
the tall Arab tower which the cathedral
has preserved for its bells, can bo seen
the Guadalquiver, filled with shipping,
tho broad plain, the evergreen foothills
and the snowy mountains. Its streets
are broad, and its
public places are set
exclusively with orange trees, whose
fruit, though it is not in his abundance
exceedingly tempting to the native, lias
v singular attraction to the stranger a»
passes under the low-hanging
branches. Queen Isabella has a palace
here, to which she likes to come
now and then,
more of his time here his life m
mate and bright-eybd
vi le. whom fie described as at once tlie
most charming and the wickedest in the
world. The old Moorish palace called
the Alcazar is of magnificent propor
tions, and would be considered wonder
ful, were not the Alhambra, which it
indeavors to imitate, still in existence,
ft has been successively occupied by all
the Spanish monarchs since Charles V.,
and its gardens, which are of great ex
tent still, have their summer-houses,
dleys, shaded nooks and even their
reat memories.— Al
bert Sulliffe, **» San Francisco Chron
If Alfonso had spent
ight ha
ed. Byron wrote his
d" of the delicious cli
senoritas of Se
b Harolc
trees haunted
How H* Wanted Them Made.
Howard Rosa is a gay young lad
whose clothes fit him just right. He ia
considerable of a wag in hia way' and a
few days ago he ordered a new pair of
trousera. He is fond of a neat flu and
had his measure taken accordingly.
the styles,
sent word
letter on he got to looking at
and the result was that he
down to his tailor that he "wanted those
panto made sober." After consuHing
everybody on the block, the tailor final
ly eaught on to the fact that the trousers
were not to be made tight.
It is thought that another break of
that kind will
tution will stand. A change of climate
will then be abeolutely neoeaeary.— tier
rhnnl Traveler.
be ns much as his oonst -
Popular Summer Reeorte.
A fan,
Ice water,
A seersucker conk
A hammock.
The front steps.
The back part of the houae after clos
ing the front blinds,
The ieè os earn saloon.
Your nnole.
An umbrella.
The sea side.
Suic.de. —Merchant Trave'er,
Tim Circumstance» WWch Made an An
gelic Man Becoane 1» Hog.
I never knew just how mean a man
could be until the "Fat Contributor."
who used to bo a very, very funny man
on tho Cincinnati press, came along and
asked me to go up North on a fishing
excursion. I loved and reverenced that
man for years before I saw him.
the way up to Petoskey I was willing to
die for him. He was so modest—so
bland—so open-hearted and gentle! I
sat and looked at him and wondered if
Heaven had an angel to compare witli
him, and when 1 thought that some
other man had been elected President
in place of the Fat Contributor, 1 won
dered what the public could have been
thinking of to permit such a wrong.
The next morning after reaching
Petoskey I was up betimes to inquire
about the best fishing spot. I soon dis
covered that the Fat Contributor had
been an hour ahead of me. He hud
rented the only doek from which fish
could be caught and fenced it in. He
had engaged all the fish-worms old
Petoskey had on his land, and had
bribed the only boy owning a minnow
net not to catch any bait for any one
else. I mot him coming up to the hotel
through the sand, and I called him a
bully boy and explained under what
obligations he had placed me.
"How?" he asked.
"Why, we'll have the fishing all to
"Of course."
"There's no 'we' about it. I have
made my arrangements, and you can
make yours."
"And I'm not to fish with you?"
"Not that. I know of!"
I had to submit. I sat on the bank
and saw him pull in bass and pickerel
by tin? dozen, and if I moved down on
him he uttered tho most awful threats
you o er heard. On one occasion he
drew his revolver and menaced me
by firing over my head. The bland,
gentle, angelic Fat Contributor had be
come a h-o-g. When I remembered
how I had reverenced his name and
pra'sed his talents 1 kicked myself.
"You needn't look so ugly about it,"
he saicl to me as he came up to the hotel
with fourteen tine bass. "When 1 go
fishing I permit no one to interfere with
. You eau go over to Elk Rap ds or
Traverse City and hire a dock for
yourself, and you'd do it if you weren't
so selfish. You seem to want all the
fish in Lake Michigan. It's a wonder
yon didn't get up at midnight ami hire
the whole lake front!"
1 looked around fora way to get even.
There was an Indian up there named
"Man-who-fell-in," anil he had a dog
about a foot high and seven feet long.
The owner would tie this canine to a
stake and let any person throw stones
at him for a cent a throw, and every
time you hit the dog you got a toy
basket full of maple sugar. I went
'over to see the red man, and without
stopping to inquire how he fell in or
how he got out 1 hired him and the dog
for three weeks, with the privilege of
contracting for three years. We start
ed in that evening, and it was the proud
est moment of my life when the Fat
Contributor wanted to pay for a hun
dred throws, and was blandly informed
that it would cost him one thousand
dollars a throw. 1 let everybody in Pe
toskey have a shy at the animal, and
the press of St. Louis, Louisville and
Chicago were presented season ticket#.
We took the dog down on the shore,
and the Fat Contributor had to give up
his fishing. He'd have given more for
ten throws at that dodging dog than to
catch a whale, but it was not for him.
"See here," he said as he came to me
one afternoon, "what have I ever done
to you that you should use me thus?"
"Nothing," 1 answered, "only, when
1 charter a dog I permit no one to inter
. You can go over to
Chicago or Milwaukee and hire a dog
for yourself, and you'd do it if you had
anv manhood about you."
We never spoke after that. We took
the same train home but did not sit in
the same car.— M. Quad, in Detroit Free
fere witli me
A Stranger in California.
The Eastern tourist sought some new
experience in a San Francisco restaur
ant. He found it.
"What will you take sir?'* asked the
"Oysters," said (he tourist
"Eastern or Californian?"
"Well I've eaten lots of Eastern oys
ters. I guess I'll try some Californian.
I'd just like to taste them and see how
they compare."
The waiter departed, and returning
f ilaced before the tourist the usual pre
iminary s' rinip, and departed,
and earnestly the tourist studied the
shrimps. He took one up gingerly and
examined it. He could not even make
the insect out. Then he called the
"Here, take them away. I guess I'll
fall back on Eastern."— S n Francisco
Chron de.
In the Natural Order.
School-teacher— What! a boy of your
age doesn't know the parts of speech?
School-teacher- Havent't you ever
heard of a noun?
Boy—Oh, yes'm.
School-teacher— Well, what comes
Boy— Don't know.
School-teacher— A pronoun. Now
please remember that. Then there's
the verb. Now what follows that?
Boy—A proverb. — T d-Hits.
—A Mississippi paper relates the fo!
lowing: A remarkable incident -of >•
war time, wound occurred the other da
on the person of VV. C. Carroll, an ex
Confederate soldier. He has been suf
fering from a wound received at th
battle of Chiekantauga twcntv-t'liv
years and seven months ago. tin la
Saturday tlie fourth piece of hone eatr
out of tlie wound, which has been op
during the entire time. The stiller
has been deprived of the use « f I.
right side since ;ts infliction, but h
now received tlie full use of his bod
The piece of bone which last came ft « .
tlie orifice was one inch in length and
half inch in width.
Old Funtilnnv«! rather** Letter to ■
New Son.
Hudson, Wia, June 30, 1886.
Mr DkaR box—Your letter with your
i icture in it rame yesterday afternoon. I
was over to the vidage lor t.ie grist an 1 got
(be letter and our home paver at the Käme
Your pie'ure don't look as yon did when
you went away, though very likely it looks
as you do now. You look old around the
top of the head, and yiur hair strnds up
over your tore pad
like a scant serub
^ I
pee m 2 potatei on an oil c.oth covured
; ,, ** s., i i
tuple, while th» o.u dark re 1 c.oek clucks
out the records an 1 the dried apples sputter
and stew on the cook stove, and the juice
drops over ami burn'», and p-ifume* the *
who e institution. She s lLe the Star
Bpar.gled Banner, Henry, she it still there, [
bin« bru-h. What
makes your hair
stand up that way,
Henryl It never
used t o.
Still you
bod on uncle that
oouldu't mako his
hair stay down—
an uncle on your
ther'i side.
«. Doubtless you get
tlromhim Y'our
•ou»in Clem soy 1 «
I hat you've got this
Pompy D or Ban; on it, but it o. ours lo me
that you look n o a like tue little yai.ermule
that I reached last lab.
1 hor.ssilc b liave. though
persevere, Henry, you c m
stay down. I'd never give up if it were
mine. I'd wear a pile-driv.T in my hat, or
some. hing thut would tend to flatten It out
Y r i ur head now looks as it you had rush of
blood to the j il -boom.
Y o'lr mot nur has also taken to monkey
ing with her hair. Bile now has her hair
gnawed IT over her to-eliead. anil'tied up in
a row of load sinkers along the edge of uer
fsor. She L goner illy about a year behind
the tinus on such things, and afier every
body else is wore out with a fashion you'll
generally find her just catching on, as the
feller says. Aider everybody vise s tiroi
banging their hnir, hero comes your mother
wltu her hair done up in the loudest and
in »r ear-piercing bang.
1 wish you could see her in the morning,
Henry, with n row of lend wads along the
go-brush cdg.) of hpr brow.
that if you
make that hair
enough to drive a s.ronger m cl tuan ma to
drink. 1 diisha 1 off a little poem in my
mind this morning as I Iny half asleep
regarded your mother, 1 «ill now draw it
1 11 for you :
omwl vain?
O, why I* vou
Aiul wDiy a:
Aud why does your
1 no longer young.
Uher ««dp again
>t atay him :?
» her ban;- wilt
Th*se few desultory linos, of course, do
not giv y*.u a fair sample of what 1 can
do, but tuey show the easy looa of in7 muse.
Still 1 wouldn't have you gather the idea,
that 1 am kic.dng about your
She is getting to 1 » iron-gray
arf'Uiid tbe fore, op
now. but she si ill
loc ks gay ai d b^mi
teou ; to me.
is "itlwnvs young
and fair to nv as
th f"ber s tys.
Y i up mother and
mi n et by chance
the usual way, ami ;
iaier o i you join« t ^
our little caravan.
You w ill tin i o. her
?ad « s with mon
silpie fingers und darker, murkier e 3 r e an 1
your mothers, but you wii, nevor lied one i
mere patient and tender than she has been
to yc u.
Bh» don't laug'! so of'.en a- -he usel to,
but her heart is in the same i lac, nn l if I
»fioul t receive
le e -raft, -h * would get |
wfiite around the mouili and scare 1, and the :
first word would be. "What's fia pp» nod to
Henry ?"
So you s e that a mother's love lives on
and on, my son, even while you may forget
her and forget to write to her, and scorn
! lie old home w here she is at this moment
and you cjii bei fiigfi on it all the tira -,
It you should go a-trar Henry, when
watermelons get ripe, and wake up some
nigbt lo Hud yourself in a strun.ro melon
patch with the brow of your pantaloon* fuit !
of number two shot, you could call on your
mother, or mo either for thaï, matter, and j
we wou d come and pick the shot out ot you
and put anarchy on the »ore places and treat
you right.
You may think that became your hair is
reached, an l wont stay down, that
not iove you any more, Lu you are wrong.
Whatever misfortun. may befall you.
Henry, remember that your purent» will
never sour on yon. Your mo her is very
anxious to know how you are get,lug : long
withyiu e-.-ay on insecs, which you aie
grin«; to read the last day. Why n »t call it
"Ha.f-IIouis wi h E:n tie t Bug»:
Yru ne«dn't
throw this out. k nd of tiee.
use It if you don't want :o
Our P- I n ( Chine e lieu is unit more a
parent She is very much so. Thirteen litr
lie, fuzzv 1 unt - liimbly cleaners have com-
to gladden her home. They are very cute
iiitlo chickens, and will look well fr.ed in tue
early autumn und a little butler
This letter leaves us all pretty « ell, except
old Charley, who has the lam|>ers, and hope
hi, will lin I you i njoying the »time great
blessing. Y'our father.—Bill Nye in Cincin
nati! Graphic.
Tlie ICevt Thrown In.
"Darlinrr," s»id a young department cWk
to « p otty Geor etown pirl who»© waist
bis arm encircle t, "what do you think your
• leur pnj a would say if 1 were to u$»k him
or y«U' hand#"
"I don't think he'd like it, Harry," she
"No/" be said in dismay, for he thought he
was very douse with tbe oil g* nl.oinao.
No 1 Why not?"
''Recall***, de ir," she envied, "he wouldn't
want lug only daughter mulil ited in thal
manner. A k for all of me, Harry, an 1 1
have a vague suspicion you' 1 got ms mighty
H.'irry give her a fqueoee as big as a
din e museum an couda nn I saw the father
Hex. dav in a not mk cessfui manner.—
Washington Critic.
A Cane or I ml Hpnnltlon.
Con vertat 10:» Imwwu t*vo T J>u
lst- :
"Haven't sell vou f r the last two ituya
you been i..di.posed?"
"No it's my »H-hwom. li who is ind s
p<*. d."
"Is she very sickf
"Bhe is not sien ai all.
It's me who is sick
bx^iuse si e is indi-pomd to firing i,
"I « sh I ha 1 a sh rt thaï I could send to
ihe laundry," was the mourn ul reply <>f ih t .
oUi.r journalist, «ho*» cont «a. I
up 1 1 ».• to Lis cuin.—T. x is Sifting*
ck my
ait on<-d
An Opportune Moment*
Mr. Faintheart—D-> you think u would he
»de f r me to approicb jour pa on tue sub
jee ?
Fair- Ladv—Oh. perfectly; he baa th*
tou. iigain.—Calcagu H. raid.
Clothes and Dogi
for Ladles and Gentlemen.
■ < hk Fashion
i is customary in the spring of the
ir to poke fun at the good clothes of
■ friends and well-wishers, the ladies.
'"t it occurs to me that this spring
Here is a small iield for the witty and
•urcustic critic of female attire. There
uas not been a tint-- since I first began
lo make a study of this branch of science
when the ladies seem to have manifested
better taste or sounder judgment in the
matter of dress.
Even bonnets seem to be less gro
tesque this season than heretofore, al
though the high, startled bonnet, the
bonnet that may be characterized as
the excelsior bonnet, is still retained bv
though how it is retained has al
ways been a mystery to me. Perhaps
it holds its place in society by means of
a long, black pin, which apparently
passes through the brain of the wearer.
Street costumes of handsomely fitting
»and unobtrusive shades of soft and com
fortable goods will be generally in favor,
and the beautiful and symmetrical
American arm with a neat'y fitting
sleeve on the outside of it will gladden
the hearts of the casual spectator once
The ladv with the acute elbow and
italicized clavicle will make a strong ef
fort this season to abolish the close-fit
ting and extremely attractive sleeve,
but it will he futile.
The small dog will be worn this season
in shades to mutch the costume. For
dark and brown combinations in street
dresses the black-nnd-tan dog will be
very much in favor, while the black-and
drab pug will be affected by those wear
ing these shades in dress. Small pugs
that are warranted not to bag at the
are commanding a g
price. Spitz dogs to match 1
or fox trimmed garments or spring
wraps are now being sprinkled with
camphor and laid aside for the summer.
Coach dogs of the spotted variety will
be worn with polka-dot costumes. Tall,
willowy hounds with wire tails will be
much afiected by slender young ladies
and hydrophobia. Antique dogs with
weak eves, asthma and an air of lan
guor will he used a great deal this sea
son to decorate lawns and railroad
crossings. Young dogs that are just
budding into doghood will be noticed
through the spring months trying their
new teeth on the light spring pantaloons
of male pedestrians.
Styles in gentlemen's clothing have
not materially changed,
pantaloons, with an air of settled mel
ancholy and benzine, are now making
their appearance, and young men trv
; ing to eradicate the droop in the knees
1 of last summer's garment may be seen
in their luxurious apartments most any
I calm spring evening.
j An old nail-brush, with a s lution of
I ammonia and prussic acid, will remove
I traces of custard pie from light shades
I in pantaloons. This preparation will
also remove the pantaloons.
The umbrella will be worn over the
shoulder and in the eye of the passing
pedestrian, very much as usual on pleas
ant days, and left behind the door in a
dark closet on rainy days.
Gentleman will wear one pocket
handkerchief in the side pocket, with
tho corner greatly emerging, and
another in the hip pocket, as they did
last season, the former for decorative
purposes and the latter for business.
This is a wise provision and never fails
p„ „|:„; (
to elicit favor aille comment,
.in , .. . - . ,
, lhß of "earing a few kernels
pf roasted Coffee or a dozen cloves in
* little ClgaTOttO pockofc of the Clltft
" ay coat, will still continue, and the
[ supply will be replenished between the
i acts as heretofore.
o .d
Ntraw hats will bo chased down the
streets this spring by the same, gentle
men who chased them last spring, and
! in some instances the same hats will he
Shade trees will be worn a little
lower this summer, and will therefore
succeed in wiping off a larger crop of
plug hats, it is hoped. Linen dusters,
with the pockets carefully soldered to
gether, have not yet made their appear
ance.— Bill Nyc, in Chicago Times.
Humane Treatment of Prisoners.
Here is a description of what they do
with their prisoners in the Canton of
Neuchâtel. A good handicraft is taught,
to every prisoner, and all who are well
behaved are, after a period, placed with
a master of the trade which they have
severally learned, under the oversight
of tbe police and of a member of a
voluntary committee. This committee
is composed of 1.400 active members,
out of a total population of 102,000. The
prisoner, when "provisionally liber
ated," has to present himself
every week, to his patron,
who receives the reports of his master
and of the police. The patron sends an
abstract of these reports to the governor
of the prison, and in this way, if his
conduct remains good, the man's liberty
is gradually restored, and he regains his
position in society—with the additional
advantage of experience of discipline
and knowledge of a trade. M. de La
veleye, in describing this system,
that a Swiss canton is in some things
century in advance of the rest of^the
world. — N. Y. Post.
The Latest Advertising Dodge.
Another effective advertising scheme
has been invented in England,
ing confectioner was ordered to put up
10,000 tin boxes of candy, hermetically
scaled with an advertisement of a cli
A lead
watch in each box, and in some of the
boxes, in addition thereto, a coupon en
titling the holder to one of the watches.
On the occasion of the Oxford and Cam
bridge boat race, the 10,000 water-tight
boxes were thrown into the river, to be
dived and grappled and raked for by
anybody who thought it worth while to
take so much trouble to get the sweets,
and possibly a watch. No little excite
ment and talk was caused, and the ob
ject of the enterprising watch-vender—
the getting of much advertising
fully attained.— N. Y. Sun.
— Jacob C. Barrett, of Newport, Pe..
while working in the woods, hung his
vest on a bush. The woods caught fire,
and when Barrett went for his vest only
tho buttons remained. His gold watch
lay on the ground ticking steadily i
spite of the tire.— Pittsburgh Post.
t .
Ton wonder why they take such pain*
To turnip our horse-radish,
To terra-alba all our sweets,
To make of good a bad dish.
To logwood wines, to slate our coals.
Make pepper of dried berries,
Use cabbage for tobbacco plan»
Tor raisins run in cherries I
They strive for gain, they make It
And men of every nation
They "sit up nights" and rack their bmjw
For new adulteration.
Each time a substitute is found
They pile It on the steeper;
For there's nothing in this world so r>h
But that there's something cheaper.
—Harper's Bazar.
Lonklnir for Green.
A traveler for a wholesale Detroit ho»
was waiting in the depot at Pontiac the otu
day when a stranger approached hi« M
asked: 1
"Isn't your name Green, of Grand Rapid,»)
"No, sir."
*'4h! beg your pardon. I never sawhft,
hilt expected him here to meet me. GrwsJ
going to travel with a circus this year, w
was to give me $25 to port him up on boJi
new catches."
"Bo you've got something newP qu»^
•he Detroiter.
"Ye*, a few things. There is one little tri«
gave to a drummer a few weeks ago,
he's made #75 on it olroady."
"Maybe you'd be kind enough to given
I'm one ef the boy»,
away to me?
"Certainly. The trick is to toll the d«t»^
•my coin a man may have in his pocket wife
SUt your looking at it,"
"But you can't do that"
"Oh, yes, I ean. Have you got any coin,
tn your pocket?"
"Yes; twenty of them."
"Well, I ran write down the date of «>cli
an « every one of them."
"Say, I'll bet you $10 you can't!" exciting
the drummer.
"Dona I" said the other, as he pulled «g»
A vary respectable looking man was shuij.
ftig by, and tho money was plat ed in h»
"Now," said the sharper, "you turn yon,
face to the wall and fold your arms. I w®
write down the date, and we will compm
At tho end of three minutes ho had twenty
dates, and they put the coins on the seat tt
make a comparison. The *ian had hit only
two dates out of the lot.
"I'll take that tenner," said the Detroit«*
as he rose up and looked around.
Bat he never did. The stakeholder had
•ltd out, and the man with the trick was »
bigger chap than he cored to tackle. —Detroit
Free Press.
A Com pi Ich tec! Cano.
" /
"Yeth, doctor, it's a serious cn«e ob mggse
tion ob dah brain, concussion <>b ilah libber
an' g. neral utility an' nervous projection,
I've studied medicine, an' I knows.
He Wound It liv fie Tall.
A d ay or two since Mr. Fl aw, of the Con
solidated Virginia mine, found a watch 1 ving
in the snow, where it l ad evidently been
dropiod by someone working in or atout
the in' ne. Mr. Bhaw wrote a notice to this
effeet, posllng it, by the side of the window
to which the nan came to cive their name«
when going on or coming off tho mines.
A little Frenchman soon came to Mr. Shaw
and asked ; *
, "You find one vetch. Mis!cire Slmw ?"
"Yes. sir," said Mr. Fl aw. "Have you lost
a watch?"
"Yes, saire."
"Can you describe It?"
"Ob, yes, saire; ver' perfectly."
"Well, what is it like?"
"My vatch he vas a silver vafcli."
"Very good. What kind of a face?"
"Veil, he had he's face vide open."
"What kind of chain?"
"One leedle brass < hnin."
"Wbat kird of key «ns on the chain ?"
"He have no key at all. 1 vinil him by a
Th ' watch '■ as a rtcni-wl nder, and th«
Frenchman had given an accurate descrip
tion of n is property, even down to "xe tail.'
—Virginia Enterprise.
It am de small things in dis lieah worl' dal
er man hunter fear. It's de little mule dat'»
de mos' ap'ter kiek er pnsnon.—Aikauna»
If the government will issue no more $1
and $2 bills, they should have made (he prir
ent issue of some material that eould he
washed and ironed.—Newton (N. J.) Register.
Mr. Y auk Adams has a scheme of taking
a troiqieof 250 American cowboys to I-ondon,
and says; "Jcrushn ! if I once got them full
of fire water the Britishers won't know who
is queen!"—Exchange.
Five million needles recently sunk with the
ocean steamer Oregon to the bottom of the
sea. Wehoi* the mermaids will take the
hint, and make themselves some clothes.—
Burlington Five Preis.
The usual number of new railroads are an
nounced. When a Dakotian hasn't anything
else to do, he goes out iu the woodshed and
takes a shingle and maps out a proposed rail
road with a piece of chalk.— Eslclline Belt
There is one consolation in being bald.
When a policeman strikes you on the head
with his club, the doctor doesn't have to
waste any time in cutting the hair fr cm th»
wound.—Detroit Free Press.
"If de wedder grows much worse and de
work harder all de time," said an Alubania
colored man; ''dis nigger will have a call to
preach:"—Lynn Item.
"Does death end all?" Alas, no; there i»
the monument subscription fund.—Boston
Two hours In a row lioat with a pretty girl
seem Shorter than half a second iu a dentist'»
chair with an aching tooth.—Ex.
The lady students in the university ot
Michigan have organized for muscular devel
opment, and will insist on sharing the tieneflt«
of the gymnasium appliances. That's rif-L
The sooner girls know how to split wood, toe
more time men will have to do something
•Iso.—Rochester Post-Ex|ireaH.
Professor Maria Mitchell, of Vm-»ar college»
recommends land surveying as a business tor
women. Professor, what would a woman do
If she saw a field mouse and thcie was t*
stump handy?—Burlington Free Pi*»»

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