A MATTER OF HEALTH
POWDER
Absolutely Pure
HAS MO SUBSTITUTE
Y îiV. '
Humor md Philosophy
By DUNCAN N. SUIT*
MAN WITH THE LAWN MOWER.
Bound by the weight of his wife's sar
ra. u m
He leans upon his lawn mower.
He should be pushing lr along.
But, oh. the blades are dull,
And his feet are heavy!
Who set you at this profanity provoking
task.
Oh. brother of the mule?
Who was it put the handles In your grasp
And sternly ordered. "Mow?"
Yon know the tale.
When spring was young and guy
Nothing would do, you rare and ornate
4-hump,
But you must have a cottage in the sub
orbs,
A little lot, forsooth.
With lawn In front
And garden patch behind
And creeping vines along the porch—
That was your dream.
You talked about it lit your sleep
And to your friends long suffering and
meek
Related it full oft.
And truly in advance It seemed
Thut life without a mower and a lawn
Were profitless and barren.
How Is It now?
You push along your heavy load
Each morn ere to your daily task you go.
And. hi. on your return at night
The grass has grown another foot!
Or so it seems.
Ah well, you get no sympathy.
The neighbors jibe, the smull boy mocks,
Your wife says. "l-ovey dove, It is great
And health producing exercise."
Push on, you sorry, fuming billygoat.
Perhaps some time you'll learn
That work is never play.
Push on! Your work has no reward—
Your brothers come to eat your garden
truck
And cheer you up by saying.
"Great Oyumu. but It is a bum job!"
Will future generations call you blessed?
Not much. They'll never know you lived.
Push on, old sport? Roll up jour sleeves
and sweat.
You re In for R.
Tbc Sake of Change.
We realize liotv soon we become
back number» when we stop to think
that the man who graduated from
school only last yeur will have to con
fess as he looks over the maps of Asia
in the school books of next year that
It wasn't like that ln bis geography
when he went to school.
However, there will be some conso
lation as he grows older. He can
then take the place of the Impressive
old man who delights to tell its on all
occasions that when he went to school
the fertile states were marked on the
map as the Great American desert.
Alas for maul He rises in a few
brief years, flourishes for a few brief
moments, apd before he knows it tbe
children are proudly pointing to him
as the oldest Inhabitant.
More Modern.
"He is making a uew kind of cloth
he Is going to call wild oats."
"What's the Idea?"
"So people can sew their wild oats
on the sewing machine."
Nat Equals.
la Australia the bushmen who first filled
tbe land
Were hot men of enterprise, culture or
Mob.
And tbe men with wblte faces who new
•re at hand
Think a man In the town Is worth two
In the bush.
Somewhat Different.
"He is the staff war expert."
"I think be is tbe stiff war expert,"
announced tbe Qian who die
•«reed with Dim.
Affected His Eyesight.
"See that in au over there?"
"No, I can't aee him. 1 owe him for
a enlt of clothes."
A Poor Way.
P* live fur those who love us,
- But. if we'd ever pres* It
and ask them If they knew It,
PsHiwpo they'd wovor cnees It.
Buffelo and Return' »ft.«
'to O. R. * x. Supreme Court ses
won Foresters of America. Buffalo. N.
■' Au kust 22-2<; selling dates August
♦ and 15. Final return limit 90 day*.
or further particulars col! on 01
* rl,e c W. MOUNT, General Agent.
• R. Sc N„ Lewiston, Idaho.
^•r Bole. —Butcher shop;; complete
* utat Call at 7»* Main street. lro
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
A nearsighted
man cannot see
the point of a
Joke that is di
rected at him.
One of the
hardest things
In the world is
to be a back
number grace
fully.
(i
MHCltr
•Shall l
PUT IT i
J
We work for such a lot of things that
we don't know what to do with them
when we succeed in getting them.
While dead meu tell no tales, they
sometimes leave wills that are quite
as interesting as any story book.
If it rains when you have taken
your umbrella ulong you feel that a
mistake lias been made somewhere.
Sometimes a woman thinks her hus
band is the smartest man on earth, and
sometimes that is what site tells him.
£>
When a woman 1ms had a busy day
her husband often finds it is up to him
to get busy to fltnl the wherewith to
pay the hills that she .hau Incurred.
Close contact with The street car hog
is enough to turn men from pork as
nt« article of fixai.
Virginia Republicans.
I
,
Roanoke, Va., Aug. S—Te r
republican party of Virginia i
its state convention here today for the
nominating of a full state ticket to be
voted for in November. YVhlle the
party will put forth every effort to elect
its state ticket the principal stake for
which the campaign is tto he fought
is the legislature and the election of a
Cnlteil States senator to succeed Mar
tin. Secretary of the Treasury Shaw
is here to deliver an address today
and other party leaders of national
prominence will lend their aid to the
campaign later on.
There were nearly five hundred dele
gates present when the convention .was |
called to order this morning by Colon]
Slemp. chairman of the state executive
committee. After the roll had been
called and the opening addresses de- I
llvered the necessary committees were
appointed and a recess taken to allow
them time to deliberate and make their
reports. L. I,. 'I.ewls. of Richmond, is
prominently mentioned for the guber
natorial nomination, with Jacob Yost,
of Staunton, the favorite lieutenant
governor.
j
n ganized !
holdingl
See the Sea.
Seaside, North Beach, $20.00 round
trip. Stopover at Portland. Final limit
September 30, via O. R. Sc N. tf
State of Ohio, City of Toledo. L css
County, ss.
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he
Is senior partner of the firm of F. J.
Cheney Sc Co., doing business in the
City of Toledo, County and Stat*
aforesaid, and that said firm will pay'
the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS for each and »very case of
Catarrh that . an not be cured by the
use of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed
In my presence, this 6 th day of Decem
ber. A. D. 118«.
(Seal) A. W. GLEASON,
Notary Public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Intern
ally. and acts directly on the blooj and
mucous surfaces of the system. Send
for testimonials free.
F. J. CHENEY A Oo.. Toledo. O.
Sold by all Druggists, '5c.
Take Hsli's Family Pills for const I
»st»»n
THE HOOP SKIRTS
The
hoop
skirts now
are coming ln—
the kind they used to
wear when grandma
looked Just like a churn
with staves and banda
that flare When grandpa
wanted for to kiss my
grandma on the cheek he had
to climb up on a chair and
■tretch his kissing beak, and all
the sweetness it contained when
first he started In had got as cold aa
Ice and run all down upon his chin; so
grandpa didn't think so much of them
Parachutes, and when he saw the fash
ion go he laughed, you bet your
b b
Detroit Free Press.
standing Together.
? n
"I want two seuts for me and me
gal, the best In the house."
"No more seats—standing room
only."
"Well, gimme two of them, and be
sure they are together."—Browning's
Magazine.
Only a Vacation of Tln»c.
It was a house with a balloon frame,
standing on cedar posts. A fierce tem
pest from the north had struck it just
after the roof hail been put ou and
the weatherboanllng finished and bad
pushed it five feet out of perpendicu
lar.
The owner was sitting on the front
step, calmly smoking his pipe, when
(he traveler happened along.
•'Had a stroke of bad hick, haven't
you?" said the traveler.
"Yep." (Puff. I
"Building would have stood It all
right if it had ltocri finished, wouldn't
itr
"1 reckon so." (Puff, puff.»
"Going to tear it down anil build it
over again?"
"Nope." (Puff.t
"May I ask what you Inlend to do
with il?"
"Nothin'," answered the owner, re
moving Ills pi|>e front his mouth. "Goln'
to wait for a hurricane to come from
the other direction and straighten It
up ag'in." Chicago Tribune.
1
a
j
j
I
L
Tilt- Sn*|»cn*r Thm Kille.
"There doesn't ap|tear to lx* ranch j
lawlessness almut your lowu." said the
tenderfoot.
"No," replied l'actus Cni. "We won't
stand fur It round here."
"Ah! I suppose when any bail char
acter drifts Into your town you imme
diately expel Jilin."
"Well or—most frequent we sits- (
petal 'em." — Catholic Standard and
Tittles.
drug
Not lit no Doing.
A scissors grinder passed
store the other day.
"(Jot any knives to grind?" lie asked
of a smart young clerk In the" d'xir.
"No. Can yon sharpen wits?" asked
the smart young clerk.
''Yes. If you have got any." returned
the man of blades and paused ex
pectantly as if walling for the Job
New Y'ork Press.
The tnlkorr».
"Has your wife gone to the hills for !
the summer?"
"Y'es. She went ten days ago."
"Is she doiug any writing now—that j
is, in a literary way?"
"Heavens, yes! Her Hppeala for
money are wonderful efforts of pol
ished diction and Imaginative color- I
ing"—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Nad IkF RrliMPf.
Irate Father—It lieats all where my
umbrellas go to. I left one In tbe rack
last night, and now It's gone.
Willie— Alice's beau bas got It.
Alice—Why. Willie! The Idea!
Willie—Well, loot night when be wss
going home I heard him say that be
was only going to take Joot oo«*.
Judge.
"Gracious." she exclaimed, "you look j
hot!"
"So I hab," replied the man with tbe !
handkerchief, "Id's edough to bake ed
dybody hot to hab a cold like dis M
subber."— Philadelphia Press.
Hoovlblss Was Wnof.
Impecunious Friend tto business
man)—What! With a big liuslnem like
this you can lend me only $ 6 ? 1 am
going to report this to Brad street's.—
Translated For Tales From Meggeu
9 orfer Blatter. *
A noeeeoo.
"You doctors." said the Gothamite,
"don't seem able to make anything out
of this meningitis."
"Don't. M>? I'm making my ex
penses ont of it."—Houston Toot.
Hot IU Oeeateot Treoble.
Mrs. Strang-Yes. I'm going to tfcs
nb. Hupe you won't be Ion n o m ».
Her Hlmbaad—Oh. W don't mind
Mg« loDduomr-Chicago <**f
■
3
WIFEY'S MISTAKE.
t»nr> of ■ I'alr of Gloves That Coo Id
Not Be Kwhssc*!.
Mrs. Empson's first question was
•bout the gloves.
"l>id you exchange them?" staè
asked.
"No," said Empsou, *T didn't."
There," she complained, "I might
have known you would forget It. How
cnreless. I told you, the very last
thing befor«' you left the house, to be
sure to attend to It. Really, I don't
see how men can be so thoughtless."
"I didn't forget it," said Kmpson. "I
tried to change them, but they
wouldn't take the gloves back."
"Wouldn't—take—them-back!" she
said. "Why not?"
"They said they were soiled."
"Soiled!'* she exclaimed. "Well, of
all things! If they art», they got soiled
In their own store. I didn't soil them.
1 have nev er had them on uiy hands. I
couldn't get them on. They tire half
a size too small. They gave me the
wrong number Why didn't you tell
them so?"
"I did."
"Who did you tell?"
"The clerk and the floorwalker nud
everybody else that would listen to
me."
"And what did they say?"
"They laughed."
"The impudent creatures. I'll never
buy a cent's worth In that store again,
you see If I do."
"That's just what 1 said," Kmpson
put In. "1 said you never would."
"And what did they say to that?"
"They laughed again."
j "Well, that settles It. I never will
buy anything there now. Where are
I the gloves?"
"In my pocket."
"I,et me bit Ye them, please. Soiled,
Indeed! I'll see If they are."
Mrs. Bmpann unwrapped the pack
age. As she took ont the gloves she
blushed slightly.
"Well!" she suld.
"Well?" echoed Kmpson. "What's
wrong?"
"N-nothlng much." she said, "only
this is an old pair of gloves. 1 cleaned
them last week with gasoline. I made
a mistake and sent them back Instead
af the pair 1 bought yesterday.''—New
Y ork Press.
Si» Rasy Matter.
Lulu's mother heard a great splash
ing in the bathroom and upon Investi
gation found lier little daughter stand
ing by tbe partially filled tub in a very
bed rubbled condition.
"Why. yon see. mamma," she ex
plained, "I've lieen trying to walk on
the water, and if is no fool's Job, let
me tell yon."—Judge.
The Whole Trouble.
Mrs. Stnrveni— I'm surprised to hear
you say you're having I rouble to get
your money out of Mr. Starboard. He
always ltoasied that he paid as he
went.
Mrs. Hordern—Maylx* he does, but l
can't get tiini to go. Catholic Staudard
anil Times.
MIn« VlFthnseleh.
.luxt a word with you.
Suitor What Is It.
Melhnseleh
yuung nian.
His Daughter's
sir?
Mcthuseleh You have Imsmi calling
<m my daughter UM» years now. and I
want to know if you mean business.—
Puck.
Divided Allegiance.
"What broke off the engagement be
tw»»fii Archie anti tin» girl with the
suburti hair?"
"Ji-a lousy."
"Ou whose |>»tr 1 V
"Hers. She said he was too fond of
his new automobile."— Chicago Trib
une.
Mottled Hi
u net er sat
sea ser
"And y<
pents?"
"No. There was a big party of us.
and one barrel didn't go far."—Atlanta
Constitution.
Ool, Aolnrol.
"That inan Higgins is always getting
into trouble."
"What else could yoy expect? He's ||
always looking for It."—Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
a Wise Owl.
. ♦
■
Blow uiy. feathers!
like to be a peacock.
First Owl
Wouldn t you
dear?
Second Owl—No, thanks. Fancy
making love with all those eyes oo
one! I should lie too bashful.—Punch.
From Life.
Be-Mias Passa y Is wonderfully well
Informed ou ancient history.
Mo—Yen. aba was always a grant
otypprver.— 1 »étroit Free Freue.
Lewis &
BE
THE WEST SIDE
is a newly opened private
rooming house, modern and
well located and solicits the
patronage of
LEWISTON « CLARKSTON j r
«< 'H
in general. Best * refer
ences in Lewiston Write
for Engagements ahead fpl
♦
50c 75c and $1.00 a Day
MRS. CARRIE STEVENS
208 14th St * - Portland. Oregon £
i ii iii iUm
HM
rH
J. H. BETHEL'S
-FOR
Railroad Watches, Jewelry, Cut Glass, Silver-1 ;
wear, Clocks and Art Goods.
Full Line of
Haviland China.
N. P. R. R.
Watch Inspector
'Phone 3004 , Lewiston, Idaho
♦♦♦♦♦♦»♦■I
Going for a Drive? If you are get a Rig at the
Boss Livery Feed & Sale Stable
Good Rigs, and Careful Drivers. We Buy
and Sell H rses.
24 C Street, Lewiston, Idaho - Phone 956
)♦♦♦♦»♦♦♦♦♦♦•♦♦♦♦»»« BB M I > »
United States Smelting Co
SALT LAKE CITY UTAH
Lead and Copper Ores
THE UNITED STATES SMELTING COMPANY Is now In the mar
ket for all kinds of lead and copper ores a ty PRICES FAVORABLE
TO SHIPPTRS. ADDRESS ALL COMMUNICATION^ TO
Salt Lake City, Utah
CONSIGN ALL SHIPMENTS AS FOLLOWS: United States Smelt
ing Co.. BINGHAM JUNCTION, UTAH. When shipment le made
please NOTIFY US PROMPTLY and If PUBLIC SAMPLER la pre
ferred. DESIGNATE WHICH ONE also designate ONE A 8 SAYER.
W. F. KETTE NBACH, President * J. ALEXANDER, Vice Presides*
GEORGE h. RESTER, Cashier
Tbe Lewiston National Bank
LEWISTON. IDAHO
Cemer ot Mala snd Fourth Sts
\ C. C. Buaacll, J.
DIRECTORS
Alexander, J. B. Morris, W. F. Kctenbich
George H. Rester, Grace Pfafflin Ketten hoch
R. C Beach 1 *
TRANSACTS GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
"Sight Exchaage seM ea a I the principal cities of the United Stelae sad Europe.
Lewiston Furniture and Under
taking Company
J. C. Harding Dcssic E. Harding
Funeral Directors bad
Embalmers
Night Phone 823