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THE BARN CAT.
Say, I tell you what I'd rather be T I had to he an animile— Hoes? No Elephant? No, Nor yet a crocodile ! *F I couldn't be a human, Make me jes' an ol' barn cat, Th only 'bout half a tail, ear at that. short 'Cause there's somethin« 'bout a barn cat Alius kinda 'peals to me. Free an* independent Sort the way I'd like to be. Wild as a hawk, an' never think *0 coming: near the house, AHas ronn' the barn an* fields, Th eye out for a mouse. Knowin' as a woodchuck. An' «amy as a snake, Lnoky as a hired man— Why, I've seen a barn cat take An' be a huntin' field mise ▲Ion« in harvest time, An'«It run ri«ht through the binder. Say, I wouldn't a «lu a dime Fur the hull nine lives of that 'ere oat But I'll tell you what he did: Ca'mly crawled out o' the bundle When the reaper had «ot by, 'Th a nice fat «roun' mole In his mouth ey©,1 An' only short Tamest long 'bout milkin tlmo— Come'a-rubbin' roun' your knee, An' a-purrln' an' a-rolltn' Jes* as olever as be. Sort o' beggln' for a feller, Jes'to milk a little stream On the «roun' 'r in n sasser— Had a barn cat once, 'twould seem. To fairly ast you for to squirt A stream o' milk into his face, An' he'd fix his mouth and ketch it— *Twaa a most peculiar casa Barn oat« know when's milkin' time. Je«' as well's any t__ Be «ettln' on the barnyard fence Waitin' for the cows to come. Workin' Je«' enou«h to live, No recpon-sibil-i-tee— Strike« me that sort of life *D be je« «ood enuff for me. So 'f I oouldn't be a human, Make me jes an' ol' barn oat, *Tb only 'bout half a tail, An' abort an' ear at that. HER post office lover, BY M. C. m'NELL. "Dear me!" sighed Isabel Vane, "Waa there ever a village so destitute of as this? There isn't men one worth talking to In the whole place, I am tick and tired of the deadly dullness of it !" She was reclining gracefully | n the hammock which swung across one end of the roomy piazza that shaded the front of their pretty cottage. Whatever Isabel did, she did gracefully with •ye to effect. A volume of the latest novel was in her hand, and she could haar her stepmother's voice through the open window giving orders to thel maid of ail work about their an r one evening mtal. Isabel's father had married for the socond time when she was about three years old, and the only other child her stepsister, a winsome,gay little sprite about seventeen years of age whom Is abel hated from pure jealousy because Kitty was a favorite with everybody, and was n beauty besides,- with her eole v. fnl dark eyes, her curling brown hair and winning way. •Kitty was seated oh « was ©f the steps, -her hat dangling in her hand, when abel Is ade her usual remark about the dullness of the village. "I don't find it so," she remarked la "There's quite a few fellows There's Jimmy Ward, in the drug store; and Fred Britton, in his father's grocery, and Charley Price, In the insurance office; and the new Baptist minister, and that answer. around. young man in papa's law office, and what's his name, with the rley hair in the telegraph office, and —and—" Kitty paused as if she had forgotten, while a little pink color stole into ... her cheek as she plucked a flower within her reach, and, putting the end of it tween her pearly teeth, jerked out: "The new clerk in the postoffice." Isabel curled her lip scornfully. "I don't call them be anything!" she "I wouldn't re plied disdainfully, my time talking to them!" Kitty opened her eyes in amazement. "What's the matter with them?" she asked. waste "Oh, nothing," returned Isabel good enough for those eva sively; "they who like them ; but I aspire to something better.'' are ■I hope you may get it," responded Kitty, with a merry laugh, "As for that postoffice man," ent on Isabel, not heeding the interruption, "he iß the best we have had yet as far as ap But just fanev marrying a man in that position!" 'He needn't always he i pearances go. that post tlon," returned Kitty. "He might ri.e," "I don't intend to drugery of helping a torted Isabel go through the an to rise," ngraciousiy. one already risen, with a fine establish ment, horses and "I want carriages, and plenty money. I should never be satisfied unless I had plenty of handsome dresses and jewelry. I am tired of the shabby, genteel way we have always lived In, and I mean to get out of it ever I can." of soon as "Easier said than done," remarke Kitty senteniouslv. "My idea of hap. piaess is to marry the mas I love, and I don't care whether we live in two or twenty, but 1 am afraid, Isabel you will have to wait a month of moons' for your millionaire." rooms 'I ' not so sure of that," replied Isa bel. "There's Clyde Beecham, of age a couple of years inherited his grandfather's ettafe here and a pile of money." "Nobody has lived in that plaoe for years," observed Kitty. "No, answered Isabel, who !ieftn to vho came He has ago. get excited on the subject. here from Europe when his grand father died, I remember seeing him then driving on his grand mail phaeton with a groom sitting up behind. Oh t how I env ed him! Äve years old then, and he was about or so. He has lived abroad ever since " added Isabel with a sigh. "You don't think he has lived in Eu rope all thesa years with all that wealth and not had lots of girls? He is prob ably engaged or married by this time. He will pick out some great heiress for a wife, not a village girl like you," said Kitty. Isabel's eyes blazed wrathfully. "You think of nothing but your vil lage clerks,'* she answered sneeringly; "and they just suit your style and ap pearance, but I—*' "He came on And I was onlv Here Isabel stopped and raised her blonde head from the hammock pillow. "I'd like to see the girl ahead of me If I choose to exert myself to facinate Clyde Beecham ; and I do choose," she added emphatically. And, rising In her excitement from the hammock, she paced the piazza back and forth, her tall figure draw and her white muslin ho would get up reeping gown gracefullySiround her feet. "I have made up my mind," she went on, "to bring Clyde Beecham to my fact and marry him, and I believe I would kill Ihe girl that would dare come between me and my purpose." Kitty was accustomed to see her step sister in tantrums on various occasions, but this thought best to ignore it, and asked quietly: ' What is he like? "Oh I don't remember," replied Isabel, "it is so long ago; but I believe he 1 » coming home next summer, so I will wait till then, and mean to captivate him." was entirely new, so she And Isabel looked at her shapely white hands, which, in Imagination, ehe saw already covered with costly rings, and admired her reflection in the win dow pane, and hoped that the wealthy young owner of Beecham Park would give a grand ball and invite her to be his partner in the opening dance. While Kitty danced merrily down to the post office and got her mall, half pleased in her heart that her lovely,saucy face a welcome sight to the handsome young clerk behind the grated window bars, and after the office was closed, he would stroll up the little cottage pathway and and sit on the stoop, making himself agreeable to her father and mother, and received for his politeness to Isabel only chilling replies and freszing little nods. But îe went away with the fair sum mer time, and bade good by to Kitty at the little garden gate. "Kitty," he said in a lover's voice, "I love you, dear, and if I were able to sup port you, would you be my little wife?" And Kitty answered him with shy happiness. M : ! I "Oh, I don't care ho' poor you are," "she whispered lovingly. "I shall never love any one else and will wait for as long as I live." you "When that fellow Beecham comes maybe he will make love to you and want you for himself," said her lover dolefully. "Indeed then he 't have me," re torted she gaily. "And besides," she added in a whisper, "Isabel has made r_ her mind to capture Mm,and has Ihreat ened v»r,getide«s»n -t-y>other girl, that geta him. But indeed ! don't want him," she added fondly, "she can have him." up "I don't think «he'll get him," replied he, taking Kitty In his arms and kissing her tenderly; "for let me tell you a secret, sweetheart," he whispered in her ear. "Clyde Beecham Is already gaged to the loveliest little girl In the world." en Isabel found the village more deadly dull than ever when the summer had gone, and the dark and dreary winter was close at hand. But her hope of vic tory buoyed her up. "Only a few more months!" she would mutter to herself. "And I shall exercise e >' my power to win." She could scarcely breathe for the ecstasy of feeling her e ^ the thoughts produced. "I shall have more hope when Christmas is over," she kept saying to herself. the But one day, just before Christmas, a great excitement spread through the vil lage, lor Beecham Park was all alive and great preparations were being made for the reception of the young master, and card« of invitation had alreadv arrived at the Vane cottage for a grand ball on New Year's eve. IsAbel was in a delirium of joy. "I wonder," 6he kept on saying "whom he will open the ball with?" "Oh, his best girl probably," answered the merry Kitty, and Isabel hated h worse than ever. wall they bro and ury er Isabel was in misery for fear her d would not be fine enough, but Kitty contented herself affair. "I'm not going to set my cap for him," "So he won't know what ress ith a simple white and she declared. the dress I have on." f\i;v dr ve in the carriage with their lather and mother up th« brilliantlv lighted avenue. Colored lights sparkling in myriads on the spacious lawn, white with its carpet of and ere The mansion was magnificent and the decorations superb. snow. eyes: since They were among the early arrivals. A footman in gorgeous livery opened the door of their carriage, and when they entered the hail Kitty's post office lover, looking very handsome in even ing dress Kitty's cup was no ness. the 6r«t to greet them. brimful of happi I." did "The very idea!'' she him. "What in the world here?" "Oh, I superintend things," he replied smiling. "And, Kitty, won' mUe "Of course," answered she promptly. "Just as if I would dance it with on« el6e!" whispered to are you doing zine. you pro the first dance?" any And they danced it with every eye beaming on their graceful figures. All but Isabel. When her partner had conducted her to her seat she inquired coldly : "May I ask who that gentleman Is that my sister is dancing with?*' But just at that moment Kitty, on Clyde's arm, fluttered up to her. "Don't kill me, Isabel," she whispered with mischevious gayety. "I didn't know till this minute that Clyde .was my post office lover.—Family Story Paper. BOOK KRDIRUR. It is related of a certain famous editor handed copy to read the first thing he did was to turn to the last sheet and blue pencil out the last sentence without ever reading It. lie did this because he said any one article, but it took a gen ius to know when to stop. Rarely was he wrong—the article always read better after his doctoring. Writers of books are afflicted in the same w f ay. Their closing sentences are nine times out ef ten as superflous and awkward as the extra good-byes ladles indulge In when trying to break away from each other. Taken at random from books which that whenever he could write have been published this season, one Gilbert finds a remarkable array. Ii Parker's "When Valinond came to Pon tiac" the last sentence runs: "Their figures against the setting sun took on a strange burnished radiance, so that they seem as mystical pilgrims journeying into a golden hate, which shut them out from the view beyond the hills as the Angelus sounded from the tower of the ancient church." George Paston's "A Study in Preju dices," which was favorably noticed, ends for the husband and wife in this ghastly wise: "Cecily was soon sleeping like a tired child, and his own eyelids gradually closed. How long he slept he never knew, but he was awakened by a strange sense of chill and desolation which seemed to strike him to the very heart Rhoda standing by his side, and when she saw that his eyes were open she gently from his—and folded them upon her breast." clasped Cecily's hands "Chiffon's Marriage," by Gyp, is not marked by brilliancy of epigram for its ending: "And with a warm embrace he mur mured tenderly, should be very much should ever deceive you, dearest.' " Mrs. Burnett's "A Lady of Quality" ends with a quotation of the inscription on the heroine's tomb when she dies of old age: "Here sleeps by her husband the pur est and noblest lady God ever loved, yet the high and gentle deeds of her chaste life sleep not, but live and grow and will do so as long as earth is earth." Robert Barr's ending of "A Woman Intervenes" Is pat because it is a climax not to be appreciated except on reading the story : "Because your treacherous friend Whetworth sent.me your letter apply ing for a situation. You got the situa tion, didn't you, John?" Gertrude Atherton in her dashing novel, "A Whirl Asunder," knows how to make a point valuable. Those who have read the story know how dramatic and effective is her last sentence: "Helena turned and went back into the forest." Anthony Hope's book of short stories, "Comedies of Courtship" ends multitu dinously, of course. The end of the principal story, "The Wheel of Love," cannot be given, because it has no bear ing on the story — true, If illogical. Here are some of the other endings: "But, then, that is not the question." "And so the girl did." Mr. Hope, one sees, is hopelessly epi grammatic.—Chicago News. ressingly: 'For rprised if I i 19 her An men Tlie Meeiaw of Time. Up and down want a see saw—a dark e >' cd bo J' on one end, and the other a wee 6 "P °' a g' r ' with laughing blue ^ es and ? ,ellow curls waving in the breeze. They have played together all days, and many happy hours have they spent at the "I'd rather go up than down," the girl. "So would I," the boy answered, "I wish we coaid both go up at once." "But we can't." "I know it." the summer see-saw. said "I'm tired of see-sawing," said she. "So 1 I," he answered. Then he sturdily held the board firm and straight, while she tripped lightly to the stone wall across which it was laid. men. There they could sit close together, his bare, bro 200 feet dangling down among the daisies it, pretty contrast to the daintily slippered ones of his compnnion ; and It mattered not to this young pair of six and ten that she dwelt in the lap of lux ury it a The hile he was the son of poverty. He went to The days went by. and dwelt in foreign lands for sea, loss many T lere fortune smiled upon him, d poured her rich gifts at his feet, the meantime his little playmate had grown lo womanhood, and her father's riches had taken wings and flow years. In wash but away. They meet again. They talk of the golden summer days of yore, when they played together and the seesaw went and down. One heat he piled into up They have changed piac She, smiling, says: "You see that the other end of the seesaw is up now." Says he, with love pleading in his eyes: "I'm tired of seesawing." She understands and answers, "So am since then. men, the c«TU6e who the fact and I." "Well, darling, let ua atop it just did oi old." So close together they keep, and the balanced.—Munsey's Maga we m seesaw i zine. Poverty shared is poverty doubled. Love never dies of its but one own accord. Gossip is a polite name for slander. "Old Hickory." The figure of Andrew Jackson is one of the most dramatic In American his tory. It is oddly significant of the re volt of a strong, imperious nature against the subduing Influence of civili zation, that rub down the eccentrics of individuals and make them all outward ly alike. It is probable that the more scholarly and gently-bred Whigs of Jackson's day, disgusted by the oaths, the uncouth cos tume and abrupt manner of the old sol dier, underrated his stern integrity, and the courage with which he held to an opinion, however narrow, which he be lieved to be right Jackson, on the other hand, unques tionably took delight in shocking them by unconventional outbreaks. It is said that he once went to a cabinet meeting wearing high boots covered with mud; Observing the glances of disgust which fell upon them, he exclaimed: "I beg your pardon, gentlemen! My feet are wet. I have been in the stable yard." He at once ordered a footbath and towels, and quietly bathed his feet then and there. The men present at this 6cene were not likely to give him credit for the shrewdness and honesty of purpose with which, having reclothed h<s feet, he turned to the affairs of state. Had Jackson taken a larger view of his obligations to society and his personal influence as the head of a great nation, he probably would have seen the folly of weakening by his ill breeding his efforts to help his country. An account of his profession of Chris tianity has been given by Mr. T. J. Wharton, who vouches for its authenti city. The general had built a little church near his home at the Hermitage, to able his wife to join with her neigh bors In public religions worship. Her gentle spirit and consistent Chris tian life held this strong man's love with a hook of steel. Because of her exemplification of Christianity in its in fluence upon the mind and heart, he sent some time after her death for Dr. Edgar and stated he wished to partake of the sacrament, soon to be adminis tered, and thus publicly testify his faith in the message and teachings of Christ. en as Dr. Edgar examined him in the usual formula touching repentance for his sins, and faith in the doctrines of the church, and received prompt and satis, factory answers. "There is one thing more, general," the doctor said, with embarassment. "Go on. Probe me to the core," said the old man. "You have had a stormy public life, and have had many enemies who doubt less have assailed you unjustly, you forgive them?" After a moment, Jackson replied, "1 forgive all Do my own enemies freely men who foully lied about my poor, dead wife, I will never forgive!" from my heart. But the "The Savior made gently said the man of God. "All your enemies?" no exception," There was a long silence during which the old soldier seemed greatly distressed. Suddenly he looked tender smile upon ids face. "I can do it. I up, a dll pray to God to forgive them," he said reverently. This Incident should have a leaning or every sincere mind. WHY PKOPliE GO HAH An Analysis of the Cases of Many Thonaands of Victim«, Rarely can one find a more depressing story of human Ills than that which Is told at the sixth annual report of the state commission of lunacy, recently giv out by the state printer In Albany, says the American Medical Review. In the table showing the causes which sent 16,208 people tethe county asylums dur ng the six years covered by the statis tics may be found some curious state Thus in spite of the supposed deleterious influence of cigarette smok ing, but one woman and one man driven insane by the habit, but excessive smoking of tobacco in other forms sent men and 3 women to the asylums. One woman became Insane through the extraction of her teeth and one girl lost mlndth rough fear of punishment. intemperate desire to acquire knowl edge forever slopped the studies of and 12 women. Overwork broke down the minds of n ments. were 252 men and 430 Intemperance in alcoholic women. drinks accomplished the undoing of No other cause claimed so many victims among Besides these there 1,227 men and 212 women. were some who became insane through drink complicated with some other cause, and Is a curious fact that one of these was it man who drank essence of peppermint. opium habit claimed 17 men and 22 women. to Under the head of moral causes," are grouped such troubles of friends, religious and political excitements, disappointments, and so These causes crazed gt on. 902 men and 1,294 strange, became insane through "military hardship." The use of a hair unseated It does seem rather women, one man one woman's reason. man became insane because of the of the furnaces under the boilers was firing. The table of causes from the New York asylums greatej detail. its ter its to corn goes It shows that 13 but not one woman became insane through disappointment in love during six years. One man went insane be his wife eloped, but the lose their husbands in like fashion ust have taken a more sensible view of matter, for not asylum. More remarkable still Is the that under the head of "domestic trouble," there were registered 59 not one at women one was sent to men Six men, but not woman. woman, became insane through So, too, hair dye turned the brains as well as the hair of two not one woman. fright. men. Mesmerism also T obacco Tobacc* Habit Com A bl« boa mil j iOe.U fl ,.rc • ••AT6BETTK C#., Chicago, Illinois. HABIT CURED IN 72 All MERCUR GET IN EARLY IN The Great Gold Field. You are certain to make bi« profits in re turn. 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Intemperance alone called for 976 men and 610 women —this out of men. one woman, in a total of 9,146 men and women admit ted to the asylums during six years. Overstudy deranged the minds of men and no women, ruined one man. 11 Kouch's lymph NEZ PERCE. POTLATCH, PALOIISK These are the name« of three agricultural and fruit growing dis tricts in Idaho and Washington, reached by the Northern Pacific rail road. They each adjoin the other together form a region hard to equal. The Polouse region has been noted for Its marvelous graiD production. The Potlatch country is analagous to the Palouse. The Nez Perce ieirlon lies nouth of theiothers and has until recently been a part of a great Indian reservation. 500,000 acres of it have been throw open to settlement and it 3 ;iands;ean be bought upon cheap prices and terms. Write to Charles 8 Fee, Gen era] Passenger Agent, N. P. U. H., St. Paul, Minnesota, or F. I). Glbbi. General Agent, Spokane, for fold«» and rates g real ■ n of by He Waa Too Lsa; fo Live. One of the laziest men Iowa lias produced died recently | n the Foi t Mad ison penitentiary vet a result of his as attempt to escape labor. A convict, named Allport, several months ago cut off one of his fingers to keep working, but the injury soon healed and he had to resume work again. Of laic he h worked but little, always being done before noon, but he concluded he would not work Lt all, and to keep from he inflicted injury upon himself which had a result more fatal to hi:n than he probably anticipated. Recently to escape work he poured a quantity of very strong lye on his suit was a sore as big as a man's hand. But the lye way into the flesh and destroyed the blood vessels. The result , and the re i so strong that It ate its lockjaw, Fort Madison from which he died. 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FREE Course b y Mail WITH TH K American Business College For the purpose of ext-mdi ityofour method of instruct pomience we will trive r. th of iiiHtructiou in double und single entry Book -keepin« and Commercial arithmetic by mail. tftho popul ion by cor tin* Free of Charge, to a limited number of person«. Address The American Business College< K AMUR ßUll.DiPG OMAHA. BEAUTIFUL HAIR MADE POSSIBLE f-. m * nnd DANDRUFFlCUKKDtFREE Free Send 10 cents for postage and packing and we will send you our famous hai remedy FREE. Beautifies the hair re freshes the scalp and CURES Dnudruf Prevents hair from falling. C buldticss "Your remedy made my hair beautiful." 188 8. MOWN. iy hair is "I lured of dandruff anrl in perfect condition." K. BKNNKTT. Hundrcads of testimonials. SEND TO-DAY The Lotus Medical Co. P. O. Box BI2 SALT LAK B CITY UTAH. THE KEELEY INSTITUTE, A direct, authorized liraie-h of the parent house at Dwight, 111., hat opened at 166 W. Second North, Salt Lake City, on the line of the street railway running to Warm Springs. For the treatment of the liquor and opium habits, with Lesley E. Keel ley Company's double chloride of renmdies. The institute is under the maua*e ment of Dr. J. W. St. John, who ha? been at work with and in the employ of the Lesley E. Keeley Company for the pa*l four year*. The treatment and management of patients will he dentically the same as at Dwigh Ho! for 1896. Now is your time! You will want A Bicycle this year, not because others hava them bin o™"on!'of 0 J 1 h Wlll .Ç otmore eood - solid pieas ore out of them than you can out of anv thin« else. Of course, if you buy, you will want the best you can get for yo i/ mo *ev arid we are the people to give you ft, Ä We carry nothin« but what we nositlvniv know tohe rellahC. and I). |. *„ eTery re spect. W e desire to call your attention to the P AMBLER! "-»lie Gioat Karr Winner nfO) 'OU. tho Real Top-notX?. fo?rÄ ,hp Nend for Our Catalogua VOM im"" 1 w';,'är r e MlÆdlT' 0 ™ «ood. IWtfor«etthar - n f ° do Nt«»ck of Sporting Goods. Guns, Rifles Etc., in the state, and prices are right. Browning Bros. JÄ in ?, tr ?? t ' S ? k Lft ke City, Utah. «Mül \\ as hingt on Avenue. Ogden, Utah. a YOU have the lar«ent J- W- CURRIE iti'11 tion Riven uliord»*i ASSAY ER, 150 Mam p st.,Salt Lake. Pronip ers by ninil or : MSI I. M. N. U. 17, 1896. WATCHMAKER, JEWELER AND OPTICIAN; Alex !. Wyatt, removed to 172 Main. DON'T LIMP When ,'ycu can be _ .. made to walk straight. We take plas w. ter of Paris cast of feet to ln -Ä _-y sure comfort. specialists m , , , crippled and de formed shoes. Steel braces and ertiflclal limbs of every descrip »'«"Hilgert Deform ity Shoe V ' Co. K . , . Third Month Hired. SALI' LAKE CITY, UTAH