Looking for Unmarred Fun.
"Say, paw." »
"D'you mind takln' this switch an'
glvln' me a first-class lickin'?"
"Why, my son, have you done some
thing for which you should be pun
"No, but I'm goin' t' run off from
school to-morrow an' go flshin', an' I
thought I'd come t' you first an' have
th' lickin' over with. Then I won't
have any o' my fun spoiled when I'm
sittin' on th' bank by thinkln' o' what
I'll get at night."—Chicago Journal.
A GREAT SCHEME.
. ' *4#
Weeks—Thut man Clever la a
Weeks—He gave a lawn mower
party yesterday and had the guests
cut the grass.—Cincinnati Tribune.
Physician—Yes, madam, I have ex
amined your husband. All he needs is
fresh air and exercise.
Caller—Oh, dear! He never will
..take exercise, and I know there Is no
use urging him to. What shall I do?
Physician—Move out of the city
into the suburbs. Get some house ad
vertised as 'Five minutes from the
„station.' Then he'll have to tramp
about five miles twice a day, or starve
I'to death.— N. Y, Weekly.
No Help' for HI m.
"Now, there's' Dunkley, who thinks
I he is Bick, though he certainly looks
I big and strong. Do you think you
I could operate on him with your faith
■ cure so that it wouldn't be necessary
I for his wife to go on taking in wash
ling to support him?"
I "No," replied the healer, "one pe
Bnuiiarlty about faith cures is that you
Rcan't get them to work on mere ani
■ inals."—Chicago Record-Herald.
NOT JUST WHAT HE MEANT.
Owner—Are you lads aware that no
pe is allowed to fish here?
[Boy—Why we saw yer flshin' 'ere
Irself t'other day!
I Afraid of Revivals.
[First Small Boy—There comes the
[cacher to our house, and I'm going
L*ell hijp none o' the folks ain't
[8eeond Small Boy—What fer?
r'Cause every time he comes he
pti a revival o' religion at our
pse, and that sets pop to prayin' a
fcn times a day."
pis praying don't hurt you."
■tes, it does, too. He wears the
Pts It his pants so thin that when
by |is made over fer me they don't
t a week."— N. Y. Weekly.
L Would Take It Anyway.
Litte Ethel (with an eye to busi
es)- -Suppose, Tommy, you were to
[ej in.' the choice of those two ap
la \ of vours, you would tell me fo
le t bigger, wouldn't you?
Uyie Kitiel—Why not?
■tnm\—Cos '(woali'h't be neoes
A Sympathetic Employer.
Old Gent—And so that is your em
ployer going to the funeral of one of
Young Clerk—Not a clerk, but a dis
tant relative of one of the clerks."
"My! my! I'm sure that is very
"Yes, most too thoughtful. Whenev
er any of us loses a relative and tells
him about it, he always goes to 'the
funeral, consarn him!"
"Eh? And do you object ta such
kindness of heart?"
" 'Tisn't kindness of heart, sir. He
goes to make sure that the funeral
isn't an excuse for a day off.— N. Y.
Where He Met Him.
He was one of those smart men
who like to show their cleverness.
"Watch me take a rise out of him,"
he said, as the tramp approached.
Then he listened solemnly to the tale
"Th^s the same old story you told
me he last time you accosted me."
ho «aid, when the vagrant had fin
"It is?" was the answering question.
"When did I tell it you?"
"Mebbe I did, mebbe I did," admlt
tir the tramp. "I'd forgotten meet
ing you. I was in prison all Iasi
THE 8AFER CAUSE.
Gerald—Marriages are made in
Geraldine—But to make sure of me,
don't you think you had better take
ine here on earth?
Old Gent (evidently under great
mental Btratn—See here, sir, I want to
speak to you, sir. You were at my
house until very late last night, and
after my daughter went to her room
I heard her sobbing for an hour
You're a villain, sir, and I've a great
O, G.—Yes, sir. How dared you to
Y. M.—I wouldn't think of such a
thing. Believe me.
O. G. (tempestuously)—What dio
you say to her, sir?
Y. M.—i merely remarked that 1
was too poor to marry.— N. Y. Weekly
HOW IT HAPPENED.
She—Yea, Fred, he had the face to
try to kiss me.
He—Well, evidently you had the
eheek to tempt him.—Pick-Me-Up.
His Wife (writing)—Which la prop
er, "disillusioned" or "disillusionized?"
Her Husband—Oh, just say "mar
ried" and let it go at that.—Chicago
DESIGN FOR COLLAR
OR IT IS EQUALLY AS 8UITABLE
FOR TIE ENDS.
Something New in Lace Work Tiiat
Is Not Hard to Work—Direc
tions for Making It.
Work 8 chain and join round, a
double crochet into the ring just
made, *, 5 chain, 2 more double
crochets into the the same ring, repeat
from • until there are 8 loops.
2nd Round: 3 chain from loop to
loop all round.
3rd Round: Under the nearest loop
work 1 double crochet, 1 half treble,
1 treble, 1 double treble, 1 treble, 1
half treble, 1 double crochet; repeat
this group of stitches under each of
the other loops. This completes one
center or star. Work as many of these
centers as will be required for the
work in hand.
1st Long Row: Work a treble on
the top of one of the points of a star,
4 chain, 1 treble on top of next point,
■ ! 111 il ! I 111 111 III II I! I ■ ||
This design, although specially ar
ranged for a collar, is equally suitable
for tie-ends, or as a trimming.
4 chain, 1 treble on next, 4 chain, an
other treble on same stitch as last, 4
chain, 1 treble on next point, 4 chain,
1 treble on the next (or 6th) point, 5
chain, 1 treble on point of another
star, work half round this star like
the first, continue in this manner un
til all the stars are joined, work all
round the last one; on reaching the
5 chain make 2 chain, and catch to
the middle stitch of the 5, 2 more
chain and work round the second half
of the other stars in the same manner.
2nd Long Row: A treble in every
stitch with 1 chain between each as
far as the last treble before the join,
a treble on the first treble of the mext
star, and continue, working all round
the end and along the other side of
3rd Long Row: Commence from
where the loops of the edging will be
joined to the heading (see illustra
tion). Work 2 double crochets under
each of the two spaces between the
trebles, 12 chain back on the first
double crochet, 9 double crochets un
der the loop just made, 5 chain, 9
more double crochets under the same
loop, *, 2 double crochets in each of
the next two spaces between the
trebles in the previous row, 9 chain
back into the fourth stitch from the
picot in the previous loop, 3 double
crochets tinder the chain just made,
5 chain, 9 more double crochets under
same chain, and repeat from * until
there are 12 loops round the scallop,
2 double crochets between each of the
other spaces to the join, and each of
the first 4 of the next scallop, 6 chain,
catch to the fourth stitch from the last
made picot, 9 double crochets under
this chain, and proceed as before
along the lower edge of the trimming,
6 loops to each scallop, except the end
ones, and working double crochets
only along the upper side.
For the Heading.—Work a row of
chain, joining it to the scallops with
longer or shorter stitches as required
to make the werk level (see illustra
tion) ; for the stitch which connects
the scallops put the cotton 4 times
over the hook, catch to the scallop,
work off 2 loops, cotton twice over
again, catch to the next scallop and
work off ail the loops in the usual
way. Upon this chain work two rows
of double trebles in etfery other stitch,
with 1 chain between each.
As colored lace is much in favor as
a trimming this season, this design
worked with cotton to match would
make a very pretty up-to-date finish
for colored linen dresses; it would
have the advantage of washing with
the dress Itself, and would, moreover,
be very durable. Another practical
use to which this lace may be put Is
an edging for toilet covers. A piece
of rather coarse linen hem-stitched at
the edge and finished with this pat
ters, makes an extremely nice cover.
Take one egg and beat light; add
one pint and a half of luke warm wa
ter and then heat again until the foam
reaches the top of a two quart bowl.
Wash the hair with this and rinse
with two waters, the first warm, and
second quite cool, and the hair will be
•oft and silky, and the scalp aa white
ts an or. Do hot use on hlowde heeds.
THICKER FABRIC8 COMING IN.
8mart Novelty Material Is Known a*
Great appreciation is being shown
this spring for a novelty material
known as bengalinette, a new etltlon
of Bengailne—in other words, a silk
fabric with a ribbed surface,
marquisette has been a la mode two
years and continues in popularity. But
courtiers are oh the lookout for a ma
terial a trifle stlffer than these chiffon
goods and bengalinette meets the re
The new fabric is in evidence in all
colors, but it is particularly seductive
In pale green and old pink. Green was
a big factor in the '60's of the last cen
tury and the second empire ' modes
now being revived are an example of
how much in vogue all styles of the
last 50 years are -and will be. The
empire as brought forth a year and
a half ago is seen no more except for
evening wear in light transparent
goods, and the drapery is particularly
adaptable to that class of goods.
There is quite a change in the qual
ity of goods used this spring from that
in vogue for a very long time past.
Now the makers and drapers are show
ing goods that have decided body to
them. In other words, the chiffon no
character stuffs are passe.
The handwlrting on the wall points
to less coquettish modes, for certainly
stiff materials will not take all the
fullness In drapery and elaboration in
handiwork tfiat frocks have received
the past years.
Before dressing the hair rub a little
brilliantine into the roots with the
tips of the finger, and brush with a
baby brush. This makes the hair
beautifully glossy and keeps it ap
Don't forget to have the hair thor
oughly cut and singed every three
months: it is not sufficient to have
long hair clipped. Special attention
should be paid to the weak new hairs
that spring up all along the central
Don't forget to brush the hair for
ten minutes with a flexible brush.
This may make the head a little tender
at first, but tenderness soon wears
Don't wear pads or additional tails
of hair and curls unless absolutely nec
Anything that prevents light
and air getting at the roots of the hair
is extremely bad.
Don't attempt to restore
faded hair yourself; it is best to leave
It entirely alone. If dyeing is desir
able have it done by skilled hands.
Don't use cheap hairpins or combs;
they are so liable to drag and break
THE HAND MIRROR.
A shabby hand-mirror may be made
quite beautiful, and fit for the dainti
est toilet table with a little trouble.
Scrub the woodwork thoroughly in
soda and hot water, rinse, and let it
get quite dry. Sand paper any littla
rough places, then paint over with
cream enamel, let it dry, then give an
other coat, then dry again.
With oil colors paint the pretty ap
ple blossom design on the handle, and
a most charming effect will be ob
Th« Rose Garden Hat.
Roees of all colors and kinds are 1 «t.
ishly used upon the new little long
back brimmed hats that rejoice in the
name of garden hats. These tilt down
slightly over the face and are beat
of rough straw in natural or burnt
color, although green is also coming to
the fore as a favorite.
Mia Limited Knowledge.
. Fuller: He knows little who « el l f
bis -vif«i ail he knows
HE ALSO WA8 A COLLECTOR.
Cleveland Artist Came Back with a
A local newspaper artist got a let
ter one day from a man over in In
diana who said he was making a col
lection of sketches, says the Cleveland
Plain Dealer. "I have drawings from
well known newspaper artists in near
ly every state in the union," the In
diana man wrote, "but I have none
from Ohio. I have seen some of your
work and I think it is good. If you
will send me some little sketch for my
collection I shall have it framed."
The artist noticed from the letter
head that the Indiana man was con
nected with a bank in one of the smalt
towns In the state of literature. That
gave him a hunch, and he wrote back
"I am making a collection of ten
dollar bills. I haven't secured spec!
mens from every state in the union,
but I have several tens and a few
twenties, and I am particularly anx
ious to have a ten dollar bill from
Indiana. I notice that you are em
ployed in a place where ten dollar
bills are kept, and if you send me
one for my collection I shall be glad
to have it framed." •
Campaign Against Rata.
The French admiralty is preparing
a campaign against the rats which
swarm in seaport towns and undoubt
edly spread the infection of various
devastating diseases in their passage
from one country to another on board
ship. It is announced that it will
soon be compulsory for every vessel
entering a Franch harbor from certain
other ports to have all its rats ex
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
ALC.OHOL 3 PKK CKNt!
simila ting the Food andReöuia
ling (lie Stomachs and Bowels oi
Mss and RestUontalns neitter
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral.
JSiape of OH IkSM'njmm
Aperfect Remedy forConslipa
tion, Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea
ness and Loss of Sheep.
^ For Over
Facsimile Signature of
GaarantceîunA'r the FooiT
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
TM* CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW TOUR CITY.
I» a Quick and Permanent Cure for
Rheumatism, Cuts, Sprains, Wounds,
Neuralgia, Headache, Old Sores, Corns,
Bunions, Galls, Bruises, Contracted
Muscles, Lame Back, Stiff Joints,
Frost Bite, Chilblains, Ringbone,
PoUevil, Burns, Scalds, and ALL THE
ILLS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO.
Three Sizes, 25c, 50c and $1.
Sold by all Druggists.
Positively cured by
these Little Pills.
They jCso relieve Dis
tress from Dy sp e p sia. In
digestion and Too Hearty
Satin«. A perfect ran
*dy forDtatness. Kansas,
to the Month. Com*
Toogna Pain In the aide.
'TORPID LTVTÎR. Thar
regulate the Bowels. Purety Vegeuhte.
SMALL PUL SMALL DOSL SHAH PRICE.
Racked with Pain, Day and Night,
Wm. H. Walter, engineer, of Chats
worth, Ills., writes:
was lurking in my
system for years. I
had torturing pain
in the side and
back and the urine
was dark and full
of sediment. I was
racked with pain
day and night,
% could not sleep or
eat well, and finally became crippled
and bent over with rheumatism. Doans
Kidney Pills brought quick relief, and
In time, cured me. Though I lost 40
pounds, I now weigh 200, more than
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
He —Why are you wearing that ex
pensive gown at that dinner to-night?
It isn't such a swell affair.
She—I know it, but I don't feel llk6
talking much and with this gown on I
won't be entirely lost sight of.— De
troit Free Press.
A Poke at Her.
Miss Knox—1 don't like her. She's
forever talking about herself,
Miss Wise (pointedly)—Well, that's
better than talking about some one
e i ge ,—Philadelphia Ledger,
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrop.
__ Jlldren teetblnn, »often* the nun)*, reduce* ta>
Sommation, allay* pain, curaa wind colic Oc a bottle.
Men who make good use of their
time have none to spare.
To convince any
P" AnfUoptlc will
improve her health
and do all we claim
fecUoos, such u _ __ ThWtf.
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