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frm MARK OF- j ^ > -\GUM^NTLLl j
If You Have Forgotten I Or overlooked anything for Christ mas, lot us know your needs a1 ones. We can fill ordsrs on day ol receipt. Stock largo; prioes small. 170 m it UTAH SALT LAKS V Waists That Button Behind, ghe stood at the glass ancf she tried ■with her might to button her waist behind. through were sure a sight—to button tier waist behind; she would reac., and she would tug, and sigh and she'd let out a moan; she twisted and squirmed till she strained every boue, to but ton her waist behind. She strained at the risk of ripping her çlot'Jls, to but ton her waist behind; she would lake a long breath .a.Dd then stand on het toes, to button her waist behind; sh« had a contortionist beaten a mile; she would bend like a jacknife, then qtralghtqn a while, and wonder why nightmares like that were In the style —the waists th^t button behind. Foi an hour she labored in wildest de •pair, to button her waist behind, hei face became red and all loosened het hair, tç button her waist behind; she wept and the tears splashed down in her lap, while for life and its pleas ures she cared not a rap; when she went to the office a hideous gap was there In her waist behind.—Milwau kee Sentinel. The movements she went Why He Hesitated. When the late O. O. Howard was s brigadier general in the civil war, sc earnest was he in his religious effort! that in a short time he had converted «very man in the brigade, all but on* hardened old teamster. Going to hl« commander one day this man said «arnestly : "General Howard, I'm lonesome Every man In the camp has been con verted except me. I'd like mighty well to be a Christian, Just to be in with the other boys. I suppose it's the right thing, too, but I doyi't see how 1 can manage it." The man shook his head mourn fully. man," general, "I see no difficulty in the way of It, if you will, just surrender yout own will and ask for guidance." "That's just 4t, general," responded 'If I'm con "Why,- my good said the the would-be convert, verted, who in blazes Is goin' to drive them mules?"—New York Tribune. Building Up the Church. A Brooklyn preacher went away the other day for a vacation, and rather than have the church close, his wife took his place in the pulpit. It is said the same result followed that hap pened in Texas when a preacher, after preaching two Sabbaths to empty benches, gave notice on the third Sun day that on the succeeding Sunday services would be as usual at 11 o'clock; that at 12 o'clock he would run his mare, Caliope, 500 yards against all comers for $1,000, and ride the mare himself. He won the race, and 7,000 people joined his church the next Sunday. The Pleasures of Poverty. It is a disgrace to be rich.—Andrew Carnegie. It is good to be born poor.—8lr Thomas Lipton. It is glorious to have to struggle.— John D. Rockefeller. It must be grand to be able to de spise money. Travels Oe Luxe. "These 'ere flying machines and wirelesB telegrams—wonderful, ain't It, Mike?" '' Tis t h(A. Ah, Tim, afore we're old men we shall be able to travel round the world without leavin' *ome." Sketch. Wasn't Spreading the Newe. Under the headline of "The Wisdom of*9lleuce," the Success Magazine prints the following story: "The late Judge Silas Bryan, the father of Wil liam J. Bryan, once had several hams stolen from his smoke house. He missed them at once, but said nothing about It to any one, A few days later a neighbor came to him. 'Say, Judge' he said, '1 heat'd yew had some hams stole t'other night. 'Yes,' replied the Judge, very confidentially, 'but don't tell any ornt. ou and I are the only ones who kL it.' " Noi'way Sardines. Norway packs 500,000,000 tins of sardines a year. On account of the high price of olivg oil the Swedish fajetorii - have lieen experimenting with American cottonseed oil with which to tmmejse the sardines in the tins Experts who have tried the two kinds- one in olive, the olher in cottonseed oil—have been unable, to detect which was which, so probably It will not be long before we Yan kees are eating Swedish sardines tracked lu American oil.—New York Press. i Looks Down on Others. Fuddy "Yes, that's Cartwright -over ther®. He's wort several aviation prizes, and consequently holds his head pretty high. ' Duddy.— "Considers himself one of the aerostrocracy, eh ! "—Boston Tran script. l Why Father Helped Him Out. -"I love you, I love you. Will Suitoi you be my wife?" -"You must see father first." Sh. "I have seen him several times but 1 lova you Just the same." Hi j Qood Jokes I JUST AN EXPERIMENT. They had taken advantage of the fact that it was little Richard's first visit to the country and filled his childish ears with some ancient chest nuts. With solemn faces they told him when they wanted apple butter, They fed the cow apples, and when they wanted peanut butter they dieted her on peanuts. Richard heard all. but made no comment. Some morn ings later they found him heading for the barnyard with a coal-oil can. "Gracious, Richard!" asked his mother, anxiously, "what in the world are you going to do with that?" "Why, ma," he responded. Innocent ly, "I was going to give the old cow some kerosene so she could furnish some of that petroleum butter pa talks about" I I ALL ON ACCOUNT OF FATHER. Everybody's on a diet up to our house, at present; Mother's awfully dejected, father's look Is seldom pleasant; We have out out beef and bacon and a lot of other stuff We have turned our fate is pretty tough. We have had to give up pancakes; sugar's banished from the table; Pa and ma are on a diet, so am I, and sister Mabel; We have turned away from salads and all kinds of pie and meat, And It's always very dismal when we seat ourselves to eat. ay from sausage, and s Every day the cook looks at us with a kind of solemn pity. And I guess she thinks she's workln' for the-worst cranks In the city ; Mother's health Is simply splendid; sis ter's well and so am I; But we're all compelled to diet—father must, and that Is why. -8. E. Kiser, In Chicago Record-Herald. False. His love had grown cold. "Oh, Edwin," she sobbed, "when you married me you said that you loved every hair on my head." And Edwin, cruel and merciless, pointed an accusing finger at the switch and two "rats" near the mirror "Yes," he responded heartlessly, "but not every hair on your bureau." And lighting his cigar the brute strode off to his club. Quick Sprint. Sandy Pikes—Dat rich guy ln de bungalow took quite a fancy to me. He took me around to de stable, showed me de $6,000 bulldog he had just bought and asked me if I could beat It." 11 Gritty George—And what did you say? Sandy Pikes—Nuttin'! I just beat it. HE HAS IT. » / I e< de \ "What Is your Idea of true gallan try?" "Well, It seems to me that a man who will let his whiskers grow so that he will look older than his wife, has it." Nothing Worth While. When your liver Isn't working right, And your system's full of bile. You will have that tired feeling. rhile. He the And nothing seems worth A Proviso. "There Is but one way," yelled the exhausted magistrate, with one final mighty effort, "in which you can get a hearing in this court." "What's that?" asked the deaf ap plloant for justice. "You'll have to get It first from a specialist." Heroic Treatment. "Doctor.' said the hypochondriac, "I'm afraid I'm getting insomnia." "U'm." replied the New York phvsi clan, handing him a printed slip; take one of these as soon as possible." of the in the in to "Is this a prescription ?" "No. It's a list of the trains to Philadelphia." He'll Get His Chance. "My grandfather wonld not rest easily in his grave if 1 voted against the amendment." "Don't fret. He'll probably vote anyhow." Seaside Discussion. "Well, do the women agree as to the new arrival?" "Practically yes. Some say 6he looks like a fashion magazine and oth ers say she looks ltke a back number." his of Didn't Intend To. "Old Grabsby gave me a good cigar yesterday." "He was generous." "1 rather think he was absent minded." Trying Out. "Arctic travel and transportation tre still experimental, are they not?" "I suppose so, Bince they are still Irving it on the dog." SIMILITUDES. I never said to her "My Sweet. Thou art the sweetest (lower that blows;" But, "Thou art tike to her, complets," I said unto the rose. I have not said: "Thine eyes are etars;" But, to those gazers Leaning beyond my wlndo "Your light is from her eyes." t the skies— bars— Not yet, to her, have I made known What site Is like, in Heaven or Earth. Though all Best Things I know, do own— Do show—her lovely worth. Though they keep silence for my sake, To be like her, they much rejoice! They know that soon my heart will break— Or lift to her Its voice. —Edith M. Thomas, in Harper's Bazaar. CONCERNING FEATHER BEDS. %\ v V I Bosh—I never had much use for feather beds I don't consider them healthy. Josh—Well, I know a man who »ays he would like to see them all over the country. Bosh—Indeed! Who Is he? Josh—Why, an Inventor of flying machines. Mis Bill of Pare. At breakfast he ate a poster red. At lunch a light overcoat; At dinner on tin cans he fed— For the diner was a goat. WRONG CUT. She was one of those fussy, fidgety women, who are never satisfied. "I don't like the way you have been cut ting my steaks," she snapped, as she ran her gloved finger over the round of beef. "You should cut them as 1 direct." , "What kind of a cut do you wish, ma'am?" asked the butcher, as he sharpened his knife. "Why, you have been giving me high cuts, and there is too much fat at the top, I want a low cut." The humble butcher could stand It no longer. "Low cut!" he protested. "Madam, you are not buying a ball gown. This is beefsteak." Perfection. "There is no such think as perfec tion in this world," said the ready made phllislpher." "Nßr" answered Miss Cayenne; "the only person 1 know of who comes near attaining perfection Is the one who sets out to be a perfect bore." His Idea of a Cynic. Jack—Gay boy and the girl he is engaged to are both cynics. Tom—What is your idea of a cynic, anyway? Jack—A cynic is a man who has had experience or a woman who hasn't. Has Book Agent Beaten. Slanim—That fellow Jinks has the nerve of a book agent. Bangs—Yes, and then some, nerve is equal to that of the mis guided woman who forces her friends to buy tickets for a bazaar. His j SPEEDY. I IfS 0 ! , s l r ' r mi ri '"ic ' White — Jones has a motorcar tongue Black—What do you mean? White—It s always running. Far Different. He said 'Twas on the desert attacked us. bieked and sat upon thornless cactus A centipede And what w Was not a Rather S ow. Said He—-So that is your chaperon j at the phone. Is she up-to-date? Said She—Yes, in some ways; but she isn't up to any date I make. Effects of Travel. "Yes, sir," remarked the globe trotter, "if there is anything in a man travel will bring it out." "Yes, especially ocean travel," re I joined the man who hail just returned I from his first trip across the pond. DIDN'T SEE IT THE SAME WAY Father of Young Missionary Disagreed Violently with Popular Chinese Custom. The young missionary relighted his cigar In China, father," he said, "I'd have no trouble in selecting a present for you." "No?" queried the old man. "No," said the missionary, with a hearty laugh. "The most desirable present to give old folks Is a coffin. In China. Ha, ha, ba! And old folks like yourself don't mind It at all. They welcome a coffin as heartily as you'd welcome a box of Havana regalias." "Humph!" said the father, grimly. "And If an old Chinaman is ailing," said the young missionary—"if he has your rheumatic complaint, for instance —then he regards a coffin as an espe < ialiy I hour ht t ul gift ta fMl Hut the missionary's father had sud denly left the room, slamming the door behind him with a certain vio lence. SLIGHTLY AMBIGUOUS. / gj "Doctor, this is the worst attack I've ever had." "Never mind, it will be your last." SKIN HUMOR 25 YEARS "Cutlcura did wonders for me. For twenty-five years 1 suffered agony from a terrible humor, completely cov ering my head, neck and shoulders, so even to my wife, I became an object of dread. At large expense 1 consult ed the most able doctors far and Dear. Their treatment was of no avail, nor was that of the-Hospital, during six months' efforts. I suffered on and concluded there was no help for me this side of the grave. Then 1 heard of some one who had been cured by Cutlcura Remedies and thought that a trial could do no harm. In a surprisingly short time I was com pletely cured. S. P. Keyes, 147 Con gress St., Boston, Mass., Oct. 12, '09." 1 Face Covered with Pimples "I congratulate Cutlcura upon my speedy recovery from pimples which covered my face. 1 used Cutlcura Soap, Ointment and Resolvent for ten days and my face cleared and I am perfect ly well, I had tried doctors for sev eral month but got no results. Wm. J. j Sadlier, 1614 Susquehanra Ave., Phila delphia, May 1, 1909." When the Sleeper Wakes. "John!" she exclaimed, jabbing her elbow into his ribs at 2:17 a. m., "did you look at the kitchen door?" And John, who is inner guard, and was Just then dreaming over last evening's lodge meeting, sprang up in bed, made the proper sign, and responded: "Worthy ruler, our portals are guard- I ed." Oh, he hit the title right, even if he was asleep.—United Presby terian. Changed. "He used to kiss me every time'we passed through a tunnel before our marriage," said the little woman, with sad reflections. "And does he do so now?"asked the bosom friend. "No, he takes a drink." Salesmen—Best Commission Offer on Earth, pies, coat pocket. "Boston," Dept. C 1, Iowa City. Iowa. New—all retailers—sain When doctors disagree they are apt to make sarcastic remarks about each j other that savor of the truth. TO ( I RK A COLI) IN ONK DAY Take LAXATIV K HitoMO Oulntne I »niKtfi sis refund money if it falls to eu tjitOS' K'N sitfuat Tablet*. ' t: \V ! lb each box 25c. Some people's morals are like their best clothes—only worn on extraordin ary occasions. I'IKK Y DAVIS' enviable * UNKIl l.KR fcciatlc II druggists. has reli&bU , stitches. 'PUtiitU ot years sa edy for lumbugti 25c. 25c and f«Ur. A pleurisy i The bravest dentist isn't anxious to i look into the jaws of death. ■»Ir*. toothing Syrnp. •frens tliegHPih, redu«''»* in wind colic 2f»caiK>tUe. •hlltlren teething, Humiliation, allays paln.c GosBips multiply everything they I hear by two We Give Avuay Absolutely Free of Costrz The People's Common Sense Medical Adviser, in Plain English, or Medicine Simplified, by R. V. Pierce, M. D., Chief Consulting Physician to the Invalids' Hotel and Sur gical Institute at Buffalo, a book of 1008 large pages and over 700 illustrations, in strong paper covers, to any one sending 21 one-cent stamps to cover cost of mailing only, or, in French Cloth binding for 31 stamps. Over 680,000 copies of this complete Family Doctor Book were sold in cloth binding at regular price of $1.50. Afterwards, one and a half million copies were given away as above. A new, up-to-date revised edition is now ready for mailing. Better send NOW, before all are gone. Address World's Dis pensa»!' Medical Association, R. V. Pierce, M. D., President, Buffalo N. Y. DR. PIERCE'S FAVORITE THF- ONT, RF. MEDY for woman's peculiar ailments good enough that its makers are not afraid to print on its outside wrapper ita •very ingredient. No Secrets—No Deception. THE ONE REMEDY for women which contains no habit-forming drugs. i _of well established curative value. j PRESCRIPTION no alcohol and Made from native medicinal forest roots Story of a Moving Pumpkin. A pumpkin whs seen to walk across the MM I'.v Mn sainm-i H UfM of Skowegnn recently. When she saw It she thought her eyes were deceiv ing her, hut she soon perc ived that the pumpkin moved a Unie way, stopped and then turned In another direction. 8he watched this object for some time and told one of her neigh j The mystery was solved, but hors. the two women did not dare to go nearer the moving vegetable, but called a man who knocked the pump kin over and found a polecat, skunk had crawled under the pumpkin and stuck his head into a hole In It and was unable to extricate himself from it and had walked off as best he could with the pumpkin on his back.— Lewiston Journal. The Friendly Bird*. Most of the birds and mammals have the fear of man in their hearts, and are difficult to approach, but others show no great concern. The Alaskan jays, for instance, are devoted camp followers. "They proved useful as scavengers," says Mr. Osgood, "and cooked oatmeal seemed to attract them even more than raw meat. They many times hopped about the campfire, or perched on the tent poles and ropeB. Their harsh chattering was not always pleasant, but was some what atoned for by their less fre quent soft whistle and their pert and confident ways, so on the whole their presence was welcomed." Rough on Rats in Out Buildings. ïn setting Rough Rats in out build ings after mixing it well with any food de cided upon, separate into small bit «. place on several pieces of boards, and put these here and there under the floors, ('lose up all openings large enough for Dogs, C'ats or Chickens to enter, nut openings for Rats to get in and out. One 25c. box of Rough on Rats, being all poison, will make enough mixture to clear out in one or two nights settings, hundreds of Rats and Mice. leave some small 15c., 25<\. 75o.. at Druggists. K. S. Wells. Jersey City, N. J. Always at It. Mrs. Benham—Woman's work Is never done. Benham—That's so; even after she is married she is trying to make men fall in love with her Ilamlina Wizard Oil will knock the spotR off a Rore throat. It R une makes tonsilitis, quinsy and diphtheria impossi ble. It is simply great for the relief all pain, soreness and inflammation. f One man's hobby may be unother man's nightmare. GASTQRIA (gggÖjÜI j Ml For Infants and Children. I! The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Ay v Signature /Æli Ci'ï $ ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT AVegefable Preparation Tor As similating the Food and Regula ting the Stomachs and Bowels of $ I & K ? »I Promotes Digestion,Cheerful ess and Resl Contains neither Opium, Morphine nor Mineral Not Narcotic Prnpr •SOM DrSAMV£irm#E/i A»v*U S~J Àlx Stnna * AW ArJJ* Sm/tj • Àniti Sfd « Aepptnttiml - aiCn r èmu m U S*da ■ Kit >: of K !* » In I Mirm Scad - & CiarSitA J' si our Wimbryrttn Ffnvor Use •s A perfect Remedy for Constipa tion . Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea, Worms,Convulsions .Feverish ness and LOSS OF SLEEP ,!l< ——--. Facsimile Signatur* of H : MI PM ■ For Over Thirty Years Ù! Gte. k'ïjji The Centauh Company. NEW YORK. & n T ' ! Exact Copy of Wrapper* TM, vtNT.il. ...Hvr, an ran. vitt. TCTT i A i 0 Lhi [tl m ml Lhi [tl m ml RAW FURS I 8 HÄJS 2 price list and tan*. Highest prices paid and sailafactory ret I.OTZ 11 I I > 1 : A. UOOI. < o. rtsfnrd, \>h. I ILn.Tr, (.,1. 1 ,| ,( <11,, K. D. X WOULD BE THERE. "Hey, janitor, come quick, a man fell down de coal hole!" "All right, sonny, I'll look Into it!" Here's A woman may be as old as she looks, but it makes a diffvjrence whether it's before or after shi dressed to go out. J« vta\n\\\oîV CcW^LYÇÛÜVCW May W^moxvevÄy ovurcoure« by ptenpet eftwXs wtvVk; as MStoKLcj CKV&VtuVy Wt^vcvaV taxaVwe, remeày Syrap ojTvgs &£Vmr of SemrftvcY ena\Aes oretoJarwrefcA« Va\)v\s iia\\y so \W\ awivaXanulo nature, may be ÇtaàuaWy ämpensed w'vttv wHetvtvo \wv£ct muted.as hebest of tuvredres w'Wufc^uvred are tc assist nature,audwA to suypWt Ava uotuTaV fuTvotxows .wVacVmuit defend uVtv— makty uponyrepeT uourvsbmenV, proper effotts.awl n$\t\vv\u$ ^enetaWy. I T<- £.1 ih buw^wvaV $iclv always b«y Uh» ^(WM, CALIFORNIA Fig Syrup Co. 3010 BY ALL LEAD) NO DRUGGISTS ORt SIZE ONLY— REGULAR PRICt SO* PER BOTTLE. i 1 j DYOLA DYES 16 fast, beautiful colors, 10c i>cr packatr«* at dealers ! If uot in stock, send us 10c stailn# color desired. % ONE DYE FOR ALL GOODS I Color card and book of dlrectlous free by writing | l>y-o-lu, Burlington, Vermont, DYOLA DY W. N. U„ Salt Lake City, No. tk Worms "Casczrets are certainly fine. I gave a friend hen the doctor was treating him for cancer ot the stomach. The next morning he passed four pieces of a tape worm. He then got a box and in three days he passed a tape-worm 45 feet Ion«. It was Mr. Matt Freck, of Millersburg Dauphin Co.. Pa. I am quite a worker for Casca! rets. I use them tuysell and 6n<l them beneficial for most any disease caused by impure blood •• Chas. E. Conti on, Lewiston. Pa., (Mi.Oiu Co i one CUT THIS OCT. mail It vltli your ad dress to Sterling Remedy Company, Chi cago, Illinois, and receive a handsomo souvenir gold Ron Bon FREE an Readers of this paper dc siring t o buy anything adver tised in its columns should insUt upon having what they a.-k (or, refusing all suhsh'utes or imitations.