THE OAKLEY EAGLE
By CHAULES T- DIEHL
Happiness Is nothing more or less
than learning to enjoy your own so
It will be the treaty of Washington,
although made at Portsmouth, in the
state of Maine.
Why should not Fitzsimmons "re
turn to the ring"? He can talk as
loud as the best of them.
A dealer says that more thermome
ters are sold In winter than in sum
mer. How foolish people «re!
A Yale professor who died recently
actually left a small fortune. He was
an exception to the rule, however.
Most housekeepers will look with
suspicion upon a hired girl that holds
stock in the newly formed pottery
Gen. Chreschchatitzki will never get
himself mentioned often by the Eng
lish-speaking world, even if he does
prove a hero.
New Jersey Is making a strenuous
■war on mosquitoes, but there will be
enough of them left, undoubtedly, to
convey the idea.
Being an inland country saves Swit
zerland a lot of trouble. She hasn't
even been invited to take part in the
Col. Mann has bounced his manag
ing editor. Evidently the colonel had
reason to suspect that something was
the matter somewhere.
Unless the "Fads and Fancies" book
contains at least one chapter on mon
key dinners it cannot be considered a
really representative work.
If we are to be given many such
"All-of-a-sudden-Peggy" it will become
necessary to star the hyphen.
Most of the land on earth having
been apportioned, some of the powers
are now beginning to quarrel over
spheres of influence on the ocean.
Although a small nation, Holland
bears more than Ur share of the white
man's burden. A Dutch expedition
has just killed 260 natives of Celebes.
Quite possibly It is a wise provision
of nature that most millionaires are
disinclined to work. If they were
not, we might be affected with billion
That Massachusetts letter carrier
who has been In the service fifty years
has probably delivered love letters
enough to make a thousand cyclo
Col. Mann says they sent all over
the world for hides to bind "Fads and
Fancies." How foolish! Why not use
the hides of the subscribers they
E. H. Harriman says "there are too
d—d many reporters." He is enthusi
astically supported in this opinion by
Nicholas Romanoff and Samuel W.
Handicapped as they are by being
called "the senators," how could any
body expect the members of the Wash
ington baseball club to put any ginger
into their playing.
Wizard Burbank says perfect men
may be produced in the same way
that he is producing superior fruit.
Evidently the wizard has never
tackled an unruly boy.
It grows increasingly difficult to get
into society. At one time a whiff of
gasoline was almost an open sesame,
but norv it Is necessary to have been
mutilated in an automobile collision.
It was the woman who dreamed
that her husband had given her the
goods for a new gown who waked to
a realizing sense of what the poet
meant by "the baseless fabric of this
Statistics show that only 15 per cent
of the people who are run over by au
tomobiles receive fatal injuries. Still,
the distinction of having been run
over by an automobile is hardly worth
even that risk.
It Is something to the credit of Mr.
William Waldorf Astor that he
the only man in the Vanderbilt and
Astor families that declined to be
come a subscriber for the famous
"Fads and Fancies" book.
"All the members of the Dutch cabi
net have resigned." It takes some
thing of that sort occasionally to re- I
mind us that there is such a place as |
And yet The Hague Is there.
One "V. R." writes to the New York
Times as follows: "It is hard work
tor an educated man trying to keep
tab on the inaccuracies of the press."
His beautifully rounded statement is
evidence that he writes from personal
The eight Pittsburg women who
■were seriously hurt In a bargain coun
ter rush for men's 10-cent overalls and
ehlrts were obviously influenced by
the unselfish desire that every woman
has to sacrifice herself for her hus
SAW THE FEET OF CLAY.
Charlotte Brants Disturbed at Appe
tlte of Her Ideal.
As a child Charlotte Bronta adored
Thackeray, long before the author ot
"Vanity Fair" became known to her
personally. At last the two met, and
here Is Thackeray's version of that
memorable first meeting, as related
by one of his blgraphers.
"Behold a lion eometh up out of
the North!" the girl quoted under
neath her breath, as Thackeray en
tered the drawing-room. Some one re
peated it to him.
"Good gracious!" said Thackeray,
"and I am nothing but a poor speci
men of an Englishman, ravenous for
At dinner Miss Eronte was placed
opposite Thackeray by her own re
"And I had," said he, "the miserable
humiliation of seeing her ideal of me
disappearing down my throat, as ev
erything went Into my throat and
nothing came out of it, until at last,
as I took my fifth potato, she leaner)
across, with clasped hands and tears
In her eyes, and breathed imploring
"'Oh, Mr. Thackeray, don't!'"
The Reason Why.
Drummond, Wis., Aug. 21st (Spe
County are singing the praises of
Dodd's Kidney Pills and the reason
why is given in experiences such as
that of Mr. T. T. Wold, a well-known
"I had such pains In my back that I
Jid not know what to do," says Mr.
Wold, "and as I came across an adver
tisement of Dodd's Kidney Pills, I
lent for a box. That one box reliev
ed me of all my pains. My wife also
used them and found them just what
Ihe needed. I recommend Dodd's Kid
ney Pills as a sure cure for Back
ache and other Kidney Troubles."
Backache is one of the earliest
symptoms of Kidney Disease. Dodd's
Kidney Pills cure it promptly and per
manently and prevent it developing
into Rheumatism, Dr&psy, Diabetes or
Speed of Submarine Boats.
Submarines can travel seventy or
eighty miles at a speed of eight or
nine miles an hour under water, can
regulate their position at any
able depth, and can move or turn In
UBF. THE FAMOUS
Rrfl Cross Hall Blue, t.urgo 1Ï
cents. Tbe Kuss Company, South Bend, Ind.
EXCLUSIVENESS AS A FAULT.
Man's Weakness in Separation from
Rest of His Kind.
A man is but a cluster on the great
human grapevine. He begins to dry
up the moment he is cut off from his
fellows. Ther Is something in the
solidarity of the human race which
cannot be accounted for in the sum
total of all the individuals. Separa
tion from the mass involves a mighty
loss of power In the Individual, just
as there Is a loss of cohesion and ad
hesion Involved in the separation of
the molecules and atoms of the dia
mond. The value of the gem Is In the
close contact, the compactness, and
the concentration of the particles
which compose It. The moment they
are separated Its value is gone. So
a strong, effective man gets a large
part of his strength from the vital
connection with his fellows.—Success
Why "Tawdry" Laces.
A curious bit of English history Is
preserved in the word "tawdry."
acquired its present meaning from
the phrase "tawdry laces" a corrup
tion of "St. Audrey laces," sold at St.
Audrey's fair, which was the same as
St. Ethelreda'8 fair,
of Ely and died in the year 679.
Made His Name Remembered.
Capt. H. Wilkinson was the first
person to set foot upon the Antarctic
land in 1854.
of Northumberland and abbess
He landed in Victoria
Perhaps Plain Old Meat, Potatoes and
Bread may Be Against You for a
A change to the right kind of food
can lift one from a sick bed. A lady
ln Weiden, 111., says:
"Last Spring I became bed-fast with
severe stomach trouble accompanied
by sick headache. I got worse and
worse until I became so low I could
ecarcely retain any food at all, al
though I tried every kind. I had be
come completely discouraged, had giv
en up all hope and thought I was
doomed to starve to death, till one
day my husband trying to find some
thing I could retain brought home
"To my surprise the food agreed
with me, digested perfectly and with
out distress. I began to gain strength
at once, my flesh (which had been
flabby) grew firmer, my health im
I Proved in every way and every day.
| a " d in a ver >' ,ew weeks I gained 20
pounds In weight. I liked Grape-Nuts
so well that for 4 months I ate no
other food, and always felt as well sat
tsfled after eating as if I had sat down
to a fine banquet.
"1 had no return of the miserable
sick stomach nor of the headaches.
that I used to have when I ate other
food. I am now a well woman, doing
all my own work again, and feel that
life is worth living.
"Grape Nuts food has been a god
send to my family; it surely saved my
life and my two little boys have thriv
en on it wonderfully." Name given
by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason.
Get tbe little book. "The Road to
Wellvllle," in each pkg.
8UAKEO seed in brandy.
Vermont Woman Tries Experiment
With Unexpected Results.
An item appeared In the Barre
Times one day early last week which
told how to raise lettuce in forty-eight
hours by soaking the seed In brandy
over night and planting it in sand
lime. Ojie reader tried it. She soak
ed the seed and planted it. according
to directions. Then she watched for
it to come up. The item said it would
grow full-sized lettuce heads in forty
eight hours, but, this didn't come up
in that time.
The season being so backward, and
several attempts to persuade lettuce
to come up in the garden having fail
ed, the woman said she'd give it a lit
tle more time. Twenty-four hours
were passed and it hadn't come
through the sand. The woman began
to think she had been ftxiled. More
she thought about it the farther she
got from that serenity of temper
which is so admirable in woman, and
finally she threw the whole mess into
the chicken yard.
The chickens liked it. They thought
a special feast had been prepared for
them, and they greedily ate it until
it had all disappeared, and then hud
dled down in one corner of the yard
to bask in the sun. But the sun had
a had effect on them; they grew dizzy,
and were unable to move about with
out tumbling over each other. This
was too much for the good woman,
and that's how the Times came to
hear of it. When it was explained to
her that the chickens were not used
to a brandy diet the receiver was hung
up with a bang.—Burlington Free
Postmaster Bowen's Lost Fish.
In the days when facilities for keep
ing fish were not what they are now a
fish cart stood in the street at Shel
burne Fails, Mass., and Postmaster
Bowen, stepped out and purchased a
fish. As he could not leave his office
to take the fish home, he looked at
the men standing about and said:
"Now, if I had some one to take it
home for me."
"I'll take it home for you," said a
"All right; thanks," and Mr. Mer
rill and the fish started.
When Postmaster Bowen went home
to dinner he looked for fish, and as
none came on he asked his wife if
Mr. Merrill didn't bring a fish to the
house. On getting a negative reply,
he lost no time in making his way in
to the Merrill house, and there, sure
enough, his fish was steaming on the
table, with the family just drawing up
around it. Mr. Merrill treated him
cordially, and invited him to take din
ner, which he was quite willing to
A Father Song.
Must all thy songs be mother songs,
My bonny baby boy?
Do poets write no other songs.
That father's name employ?
Why. then. I'll right the monstrous
Come, boy, and hear thy daddy's song.
But first a toss high In the air.
To hear his merry shout,
And then a tickle here and there,
To bring the dimples out.
And then a romp upon the bed,
O precious little tousle head.
Now, then, wee barefoot boy, take care!
Run swiftly o'er the floor.
And father'll be a bruin bear,
rowl and bite and paw!
us. boy. what flimsy stuff!
LUid's song is rag lime, sure enough.
There, now of play we ve had our fill;
Tis cuddle time. I know.
(llow very bright hie eyes the still!)
"Hush, baby mine, by-low!"
Pome, come, you little rascal, you.
Dad's had enough of peek-a-boo!
Hush. hush, my boy. to sleep with thee!
<1 wish his mammy'd come!)
Thy father-'ll turn into a bee
If longer h*
Ah. well, to lull a child to rest
A mother song perchance is best.
— P. F. Camp In Boston Transcript.
Fickleness of Woman.
Gray—Hello, Smith, old boy! And
so you are married, eh?
Smith—That's what the parson told
Gray—And of course, you are hap
Smith—Well. I don't know about
that. To tell the plain, unvarnished
truth I'm just a little bit disap
Gray—I'm sorry to hear that. What's
Smith—Well, you see, during the
courtship stunt she used to tell me
how strenuously she loved me. but we
had no sooner got spliced than she
gave up her $10 a week job as type
writer thumper. That goes to show
you how much you can hank on a
woman's love.—Chicago News.
Captious Critic—O. come now, you
don't mean to say seriously that is a
portrait of Gen Sir Timothy Hotspur.
Photographer—Taken from life.
"I can't understand that. I've seen
Sir Timothy at the head of his brigade
many a time, and he always had a fire
eating expression which no one could
forget; hut in the portrait he looks as
meek as a lamb."
"But. my dear sir. he wasn't at the
"Well. I've seen him alone, too, and
his expression was just the same. He
was alone when he came here, 1 sup
"No, not exactly; his wife was with
f his troops when he sat for
President Caswell's Name.
When Alexis Caswell was president
of Brown university a student by the
name of Betterly came to him one
After conversing with him s
of his visit
moment upon the object
the president asked him his name, and
upon being toll, said Jovially: "Yout
name would be better without th«
last syllable, wouldn't it?"
"Yes," replied the student with i
laugh, "and wouldn't yours be as wel
without the C?"
LOST 72 POUNDS.
Was Fast Drift.ng Into the Fatal
Stages of Kidney Sickness.
Dr. Melvin M. Page, Page Optical
Co., Erie, Pa., writes:
"Taking too many iced drinks In
New York In 1895 sent me home with
a terrible attack of kidney trouble.
I had acute congestion, sharp pain in
the back, head
aches and attacks
of dizziness. My
eyes gave out,
and with the lan
guor and sleep
lessness of the
disease upon m*
I wasted from 194
to 122 poundB. At
the time I started
using Doan's Kid
ney Pills an abscess was forming on
my right kidney. The trouble was
quickly checked, however, and the
treatment cured me, so that I have
been well since 1896 and weigh 188
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
For sale by all druggists. Price, 50
cents per box.
Infant's Remarkable Escape.
Whatever the reason, there Is no
disputing that Infants live after mis
haps which would have meant certain
death to older folks. Whenever there
Is a big accident which has involved
great loss of life, one nearly always
reads of the remarkable escape of
SALT RHEUM ON HANDS.
Suffered Agony and Had to Wear
Bandages All the Tlmi
Cure by Cuticura.
Another cure by Cuticura is told of
by Mrs. Caroline Cable, of Waupaca,
Wls., in the following grateful let
"My husband suffered agony
salt rheum on hlB hands, and I had
to keep them bandaged all the time.
We tried everything we could get, but
nothing helped him until he used Cuti
cura. One set of Cuticura Soap, Oint
ment, and Pills cured him entirely,
and his hands have been as smooth
as possible ever since. I do hope this
letter will be the means of helping
some other sufferer."
Deacon Blimber Wants to Know.
"There's one thing I've sort o'
wanted some one to tell me the rea
son fer, quite a while back," said Dea
con Blimber to the City Boarder, "and
that is, why is the $6 a week the clerk
up yender in the dry goods store gits
called a salary, while the $20 a week
the blacksmith gits down to the shop
Is only jest wages?"—Browning's Mag
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of C ASTORIA,
a safe and eure remedy for lufants and children,
and see that it
Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
In Use Ft
Gem teas are London's latest craze
About six weeks ago Lord Crofton in
vited his friends to a "gem tea" at
his house in Sloane street, and there
have been lovely displays of old and
new Jewels at other houses.—The Gen
Do you know good tea?
Do you know bad tea?
Do you know what we
Do you know Schilling's
Knowledge Book, A. Schilling A
Company, San Ki
Mails by Sky-Rocket.
Perhaps the most unusual way ol
delivering mails is that adopted for
in the Pacific, where the danger of ap
proachtng Inshore renders it nee-?*
for the mall steamer to use a
of the islands of the Tonga fyoup
sky-rocket as a postman.
Ask Your Dealer for Allen's Foot-Ess*
A powder. It rests the feet. Cures Swollen,
Sore, Hot, Callous, Aching. Sweating Feet
and Ingrowing Nails. At ail
Shoe stores, 25 cents. Accept
Samplo mailed FREE. Address, Alleu S
Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
"Mark Twain's" Drydock Definition.
It is told of "Mark Twain" that dur
ing a conversation with a young ladj
of his acquaintance he had occasion
to mention the word drydock. "What
is a drydock, Mr. Clemens?" she ask
ed. "A thirsty physician," replied the
w I>T*pep*i* Torment«*! Me for Year*. I>r
BftYld Kennedj iP«i irtu Rmaed] i ind nw." Mr» r
6 . Iknighertj , Mill villa, N. J. l'kèü
90 yean. II 00.
Dove the Emblem of Love.
The Russian name for "darling" is
"my little dove;" and this same idea
of a cuddling, meek, and cooing crea
ture as love's delight runs through all
oriental poetry. Again and again it
recurs in the Song ot Solomon.
Do It Now.
If you are about to make a trip any
where, let me know. Pleased to giv*
you full information as to low rates—
plenty of 'em this summer—train ser
vice, etc. "The Santa Fe" trade mark
is the sign of safety, speed and ease.
C. F. WARREN,
Genl. Agt., A. T. & S. F. Ry., Salt Lake
English Tax on Bachelors.
By an act of parliament in 1695,
under William III., a tax was laid on
all bachelors of twenty-five years Old
DESK USED BY LAFAYETTE.
Now Owned By Rendent of Mid
A relic of the visit of Gen 1 -afayeUe
to this country more than a century
is to be found in the residence of
I-eonldas Deane. Oak street. Middle
boro, Mass. He prizes It highly, It is
a desk which was used by the genera!
during his stay in America.
resident of San Juan, but
The ancestors of
Frost, now a
who formerly lived In Mtddleboro. se
cured this bit of antique furniture at
Elizabeth. N. J., and it was kept in
that family for 100 years.
Deane secured the prize.
When closed the desk forms a fine
table, being substantially built of ma
hogany and highly polished. W hen the
Is folded back a fine writing sur
face is exposed. By pressing a catch
at the side of the desk swings open,
and a person can step inside and sit.
"he validity of the claim that it was
in possession of Lafayette was raised,
but the investigations and assurances
of the Frost family, who have looked
the matter up, and who say that it is
genuine, are accepted.
LEFT HENS ON NESTS.
Firemen Used Old System Rather
Than Disturb Them.
There is a story of an old New
Hampshire doctor who, on taking out
a wagon that had not been used for
some time, found that a hen was sit
ting in it. He merely "harnessed up"
without disturbing her, and he and
biddy made a series of calls.
Boston Herald offers this true story
of the town of Amesbury, which owns
a small fire apparatus:
Outside the fire limits is a small
community that, on petition, received
an appropriation for the purchase of
a "hand-tub." It was installed in an
abandoned blacksmith shop, where It
remained for two years, used only for
decorative purposes in street parades.
I^ast summer a stroke of lightning
started a small fire in a farm house
near by. The volunteer department
rallied at once, but when they arrived
at the engine house, the foreman stood
at the door.
"Don't touch her, boys!" cried he.
"I've got two hens settin' in the box.
Let's use the buckets."
They agreed and the hens were al
lowed to pursue their incubating ways.
Poet's Claim to Congratulation.
A Paris youth named Armand Gaily
killed his sweetheart and attempted
to commit suicide. At his trial coun
sel for the defense described the
youth as a poet, and read a pathetic
verse which he said he had written.
The jury was touched and acquitted
the prisoner. Now Viscount de Bor
relli has written the papers: "Here
is an exceedingly humorous business.
One Armand Gaily kills a woman and
tries to kill himself, but of course
fails, as they always do. At the trial,
counsel reads, as being the work of
his client, a poem by myself, pub
lished some three years ago in the
Gaulois. And, of course, the jury ac
quits him. It appears to me that I
deserve to be congratulated in this
Pretty Idea for Fan.
A pleasant, personal kind of fan Is
owned by an Ingenious girl who cut
beads, faces and bits of landscape
from her photographic prints and
pasted them harmoniously on a pretty
bt t inexpensive fan. Her people, her
intimate friends, her home, her favor
ite sport, her pet cat and dog and oth
er interesting things appear on this
fan, each tiny print outlined with gilt
watercolor paint. She has another
fan upon which she has pasted tiny
prints of her college class, outlining
them with the college colors and tying
ribbons of these colors on the handle.
In Pacific Depths.
' .«. .
h} < '
Sunken in the Pacific ocean, the
highest mountain In the world would
appear as here shown with half a mile
of water above It.
Mails 50 Pounds of Tubers.
John R. Dodnon, an Alaska miner,
bought fifty pounds of potatoes and or
dered them sent to Mastodon, Alaska,
by U. S. mail.
He paid $10.50 for the lot and for
their carriage by mail into the Inte
rior of the northern territory, which
will make the "spuds" cost 21 cents
a pound laid down at their destination.
At that price he saved 14 cents a
pound on the price In the markets
You be the Judge
try a can of
It will cost you nothing
If It isn't the "Best of the
Hewlett Bros. Co.
Insured Runaway Slaves.
In 356 B. C., when Alexander the
Great was emperor, the Greeks had a
scheme of Insuring runaway slaves.
Moneyback says: what
ever you buy Schilling's
Best, your grocer returns
your money if you don't
Company, San Francisco.
Knowledge Book, A. Schilling A
There are certainly not a hundred
cows approaching the pure Alderney
breed In the entire island of Alderney,
yet one dealer advertises that he an
nually imports "from the island" up
ward of one thousand cows.
The most significant word
between you and your grocer
Your grocer return! your money if you don't
like Schilling'! Beit.
Use for Child Elocutionist.
"It is a great comfort to have a
child about the house," said the man
of domestic tastes. "Yes," answered
the unfeeling wretch; "when company
comes that you don't care for you can
make it recite."—Exchange.
Almost nobody takes the
money ; almost nobody wants
money If you don'i
Your grocer returns y >i
like Schilling's Best.
Where Dickens Found Inspiration.
«U Barnard Castle, in Durham,
Charles Dickens found the ground
work of "Nicholas Nickleby."
Here is Relief for Women.
Mother Gray, a nurse in New York, dis*
covered a pleasant herb rented v for women's
Ills, called AUSTRALIAN -LÉ AF. It is the
only certain monthly regulator. Cures
female weaknesses, Backache, Kidney and
Urinary troubles. At all Druggists or by
mail 50 cts. Sample mailed FREE. Address,
The Mother Gray Co., LeKoy, N. Y.
Purest City Air.
The purest air In cities is said to
be that about twenty five feet above
the street surface.
Americans drink the worst
tea in the world.
There is plenty of good
Yonr prrocer return« your money If you don't
like Schilling! Best.
Illiteracy in Scandinavia.
Two men in a thousand In Sweden
are Illiterate, three in Norway, and
Denmark, seventy-eight In Russia, and
13.6 In F.ugland.
Tea is a dainty taste and
a dainty feeling.
Coffee is dainty too, but ,
another sort altogether.
Your gr«>eer return! your money If you don't
Uke Schilling'! best.
Chinamen Laugh at Death.
Chinamen have been known to ofTer
themselves as substitutes for execu
tion on the understanding that cer
tain sums of money will be paid U.
Tea is cheaper than water,
if tea is comfortable and
water is not.
In «Ter? pwkmra ot Sehimn*'i Bnl Tex le ft
booklet: How to M»ke Good Tea.
Dreary Outlook for the Man.
Only a man who has married an in
tellectual woman can appreciate the
monotony of having brains for break
fast 365 days in tbe year.—New Or
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