JUNE BRIDEGROOMS.
Most any uv the time now when
anybudy takes up their paper to read!
sum uv the news what he ain't ;
heard nuthin' bout, why all they kin
see Is bout sum June bride. 'N es
nobudy ever sez anything bout the
mail haff uv the bargain why I is 1
goin' to give this here bird what is
the better haff 'n then sum a show!
fer sum uv the publicity what he
don't never git when they has got
him roped 'n tied fer the rest uv his
days uv repentance.
Now when ever anybudy reads
bout these here brides what is gittin'
their seifs married why all anybudy
kin read is how this here jane wus
dressed 'n how all the rest uv these
here biddies got their glad rags hung
onto theirselfs 'n nobudy sez ary
word whether this here bunch uv
cheese, what is bein' drug off uv the
bachelor's shelf, had any duds on er
wus runnin' round hidin' in a bunch
uv brush.
If I wus this here sassity gasaboo
what rites all uv these here married
'n died notes why I would tel! sum
uv the times if the poor herring,
£ Auto Repair Shop *
X Clark Brothers, formerly with £
❖ the Buchanan Motor Co., have £
% opened a shop in the Van Or- £
Y den building, back of the Bing- X
ham County News office, and £
£ with entrance on Judicial st. ->
They are now ready to do all £
£ kinds of repair work. £
| Clark Auto Shop £
£ Parley G. Clark Phone 271
In the "Cool"
SUMMER
TIME!
WITH YOUR GOOD
Electric
. Fan
YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOUR
MELTING NEIGHBORS—
—at the desk
—in the kitchen
—taking a nap
NO FLIES CAN LIGHT ON
YOU IN THE CANYON
BREEZE OF
Your Eleciric Fan
(Costs a Fraction of a Cent an
Hour—and Worth it.)
5 PER CENT DISCOUNT FOR
CASH
COME AND SEE THE VAR
IOUS SIZES AT THE
Electric Shop
IDAHO POWER COMPANY
CENTRAL
MEAT MARKET
L. B. Dore& Sons, Prop. J
I Th<
Blackfoot, Idaho
:
!
!
whaï is goin' fifty-fifty in this here
nuptial business, had on a crepe de
chiny pair uv trousers 'n if the same
wus trimmed with fringes uv blad
olys er if he had sum bunch uv
hootch bottle corks to hold under the
handle uv his face to keep from bolt
in' the proceedin's, when the sky
doctor wus tyin' him in this here
knots.
Once in a big while one uv obese
here sassietv editor birds mentions
•the fact that there wus a bridegroom
ii lie wus accompanied by sum other
poor fish what is a shiverin' in his
boots fer fear they will ty him up
t o when he ain't watchin' close miff.
H iwsumever most uv the time any
budy would think they wus only sum
bunch uv janes, accompanied by a
bunch uv old hens. Es all anybudy
reads is that Mrs. Sumthinerother
had on a boil dress with a corset uv
sunflowers, 'n that Mrs. Thingama
bob wore a gown what was buff orp
egg colored 'n had on sum old sports
liât, which same is what all the janes
is tryin' to git next to sa es they kin
git to wear this sports hat too.
Uv course tellin' everything what
all the femails had on is all right
only sum uv the mails what reads
this here news, is sumtimes won
derin' if may bee the groom wus
feelin' pert er only bein' led like a
lamb bo the slaughter house. So I
is goin' to give these here sassiety
scribes a sample to go by 'n if they
I will foller this same it will make lots
! more uv the old bats sit up 'n take
notice like they wus real live 'n not
sum fat heads like most uv the mar
ried femails sez they is.
This here is the way if I wus ritin'
up sum ceramony I would say:
Mr. James Heisit wus joined in the
state uv wedolcks with Miss Know
sheisit the other day 'long bout sup
per time. The ceramony wus dun
by sum ('n here anybudy kin insert
the name uv any preacher what they
likes the best, only sum don't like
nun a tall.) The groom was all lit
up ('n here anybudy wliat wants to
kin think he wus lit up witli hootch
or onily a smile accordin' es to how
well they knows this sed groom.) He
wus dressed fit to kill es this is the
last chance he is goin' to have to say
what he is goin' to wear es most
likely the new Mrs. has sum notions
uv her own es to how friend hubby
will look the cutest. He had on a
suit uv clothes what his grandfather
was married in which same wus sum
helitrope green es the old man never
had wore these here rags only on
Sundays 'n to weddin's 'n funerals.
His shirt wus Copenhagen snuff col
or, the affects from lettin' the ter
baccer juice run from the corners uv
his mouth when he wore it sum
times before while he wus a sparkin'
the Mrs. what he is gittin', the laun
dry dun the best tihey could to git
all uv the colors out, even givin' it
sum gas; his neck tie wus sum old
shoo string es the groom has been
one sport in his day 'n lots uv times
has been down to only a shoe string
in sum poker game. His shoes wus
number Xs 'n his socks wus the same
only red ; he had on sum lid which
same all what seed it thot it wus jist
grand. The ring which he carried
in his hip pocket 'n then thot he had
in his watch pocket wus a heirloom
'n must cost all uv $1.25 when it
wus new. The bride wus present
also es they thot it might-be handy
to have her around if anybudy should
ast who it wus lie wus a marryin'.
The young coupile took o weddin'
tour out to her ants bout fifty miles
on the railroad 'n the reporter wus
told to say they were takin' a extend
ed trip thru several states. How
sumever the kid brother put us wise
so we ain't puttin' in uo lies like
that. They will set up housekeepin'
at 123 Whatisit street 'n they would
jist es leaf not have any callers till
after they gits over the worst stage
uv the honeymoon; uv course if you
is determined to see how they is car
ryin' on so es you kin tell it to the
neighbors, why they will treat you
like they wus tickeled es a basket uv
chips to see you. Jim has a position
doin' odd obs round old Jones' store
so es I guess they kin at least git
sumthin' to eat es long es he don't
git fired.
Now then I has tolled how it ort
to be dun 'n if any uv these here
reporters what ain't got no cents
don't git all balled up tryin' to put
too many frills onto their dope, why
it ort to be sum improvement 'n make
sum interestin' readin' fer all them
es takes a interest in thim kinds uv
things.
In the meantimes all the mails
what is tryin' to find out anything
bout the groom kin bald their breath
till all has been sed bout the bride
what needs to be sed 'n if they can't
;idd a word er two fer theirselft
while they is readin' why they kin
go to sum deef 'n duni school which
kin make noise miff fer what he
can't think jist yet. We is still got
the June bride with us 'n long may
site wave where all uv the mails kin
say ain't she sum peach, 'n them
what thinks she ain't is . the guys
what got the mitten.
O. TWISTER.
Seldom seen on Snake River.
June, 'n Still Time to Git Tied Up.
WHY BE DISCOURAGED?
To put new heart into discouraged
men the following is published in
the Sing Sing Bulletin, a newspaper
published and circulated among the
inmates of the famous prison:
Remember this:
When Abraham Lincoln was a
young man he ran for the legislature
in Illinois and was badly swamped.
He next entered business, failed,
and spent 17 years of his life paying
up the debts of a worthless partner.
He was in love with a beautiful
young woman to whom lie became
engaged—then she died.
Later he married a woman who
was a constant burden to him.
Entering politics again he ran for
congress and was badly defeated.
He then tried to get an appoint
ment to the United States Land Off
ice, but failed.
He became a candidate for the
United States senate and was badly
defeated.
In 1856 lie became a candidate for
the vice-presidency and was again
defeated.
In 1858 he was defeated by Doug
las.
One failure after another—ibad
failures—great setbacks. In the
face of all this he eventually became
one of the country's greatest men, if
not the greatest.
When you think of a series of set
backs like this doesn't it make you
feel kind of small to become dis
couraged just because you think you
are having a hard time in (life?
After reading wdiat the "Savior of
His Country" overcame, why should
any man or woman in this land of
opportunity be discouraged?
FRED R. REED, Idaho.
RECORDS SHOW NO RADICAL
CHANGE IN SEASONS
•
"The seasons are changing; we do
not have tile cold weather we did
when I was a boy." Remarks simi
lar to this are frequently heard by
representatives of the weather bu
reau, United States Department of
Agriculture, but reports on the wea
ther dating as far back as 1780 show
that there has been no radical
change in the mean temperature
from year to year.
An official of the weather bureau
lias compiled the following table
from records taken by various ob
servors previous to 1872 and from
those ol' the weather bureau station
at New Haven, Conn., from 1873 to
the present.
For the ten years ending—
Mean
For lo yrs. ending—■ nemperature
deg. F.
1790 .......................................... 49.6
1800 .......................................... 50.0
1810 .......................................... 50.4
1820 47.5
1330 49.3
13 40 47.8
1350 40.2
1860 ........................................ 4 8.9
1870 49.1
1880 49.7
1890 48.9
1900 49.7
1910 49.7
1920 50.5
It will be noted, the official points
out, that the warmest three periods
are those ending in 1800, 1810, and
1920, and that the coldest decade
immediately follows the se ond
warmest.
Considering t/he individual months
and the individual years, it is found
that the coldest January occurred as
late as 185 7. The coldest February
occurred eight years after the warm
est one. The coldest March was as
late as 1870 and again in 1885.
The coldest April was in 1874, and
many years after the warmest one.
The lowest temperature in May was
in 1812, 1815, 1870, and 1882. The
highest figures in June are in 1779,
li90, 1803 and 1876. In July the
lowest was in 1816, with the warm
est as early as 1780 and equalled in
1876. The coldest August occurred
61 years after the warmest. In Sep
tember the coolest months are in the
earlier years, but for October, No
vember and December tihe coldest
year came after the warmest year in
each case.
Thus it will be seen that in nine
months of the year the coldest one of
j record occurred after the warmest
I one. These figures seem to Indicate
j very clearly, the weather officia!
I says, tha* since the time of the rev
olutionary war, at least, there has
>een no permanent change In tern«
I perature.
FROM REMOTEST
PORTS OF GLOBE
Tanlac Elements Come From Many
Lands Far Away From
Here.
The ingredients from which the
celebrated medicine Tanlac is made,
com' from remote sections of the
earth, and are thnnsported thousands
of miles over land end sea to the
great Tan .a Laboratories at Day- i
to". Ohio 1 \ . Cana ; i
The Alps, Appenines. Pyrenees, I
Russian-.' si a. Brazil. West Indies, |
Rocky M untains. Asia Minor. Per-i
sia. lntli... Mexico, Columbia and \
Peru are among the far away points [
from which ttie principal properties!
bf this remarkable preparation are j
obtained.
What is said to be the largest i
pharmaceutical laboratory in tihe
United States lias been completed at
Dayton, Ohio, for the manufacture of
.Tanlac which, according to recent re
ports, is now having the largest sale
of any medicine of its kind in the
world; over 20,000,000 bottles hav
ing been sold in six years.
Tho new plant occupies 60,000
square feet of floor space and has a
daily capacity of 50,000 bottles.
Uniform quality is guaranteed by a
series of careful inspections by ex
pert chemists from the time the roots,
herbs, bark and flowers are received
in their rough state from all parts
of the globe until their medicinal
properties have been extracted by
the most approved processes. The
finished medicine is then bottled,
labeled and shipped out to tens of
thousands of druggists throughout
tlie United States and Canada to sup
ply a demand never before equalled
by this, or any other medicine.
Tanlac is sold in Blackfoot by the
Palace Drug Store and all leading
druggists.—adv.
FEW PEOPLE HAVE
SEEN RADIUM
Radium is a metal that is describ
ed as having a white metallic lus
tre. It has been Isolated only once
or twice, and few persons have seen
it. It is ordinarily obtained from its
ores in the form of sulphate, chlor
ide, or bromide, according to the
United States Geological Survey, De
partment of. the Interior, and it is
in the form of these salts that it is
usually sold and used. These are all
white or nearly white substances
whose appearance is no more remark
able than that of common salt or
baking powder. Tubes containing
radium salts glow mostly because
they include impurities which the
radiations from the radium cause to
give light. Radium minerals are
very rarely, if ever, luminescent.
Wherein He's Wise.
It often happens that the wisest of
men runs Into problems be knows
nothing about, but as a rule he proves
his wisdom l>y calling In an expert.
•omy,
how you'll take to
a pipe—and P. A.!
Before you're a day older
you want to let the idea slip
under your hat that this
is the open season to start
something with a joy'us
jimmy pipe — and some
Prince Albert!
Because, a pipe packed
with Prince Albert satisfies
a man as he was never satis
fied before—and keeps him
satisfied! And, you can
prove ii! Why — P. A.'s
flavor and fragrance and
coolness and its freedom
A v
"a
\ jJV
from bite and parch (cut
out by our exclusive pat
ented process) are a reve
lation to the man who never
could get acquainted with a
pipe! P. A. has made a
pipe a thing of joy to four
men where one was smoked
before!
Ever roll up a cigarette
with Prince Albert? Man,
man — but you've got a
party coming your way!
Talk about a cigarette
smoke; we tell you it's a
peach!
4 j SFQf
Prince Albert I«
sold in toppy red
bugs, tidy red tint,
hand some pound
n nd hclf pound tin
humidors and in the
pound crystal glass
humidor with
Copyright 1 921
by K. J. Ki vnoiu*
Tobacco Co
Winat n- S. .'era.
N.C.
the national joy smoke
WRIGIEYS
filler
Klfia
Every Meal**
Next time you
ivant to concen
trate on 2
of work just slip
astickofWRIGLCY'S
between your teeth.
It's a wonderful help
in daily tasks —and
sports as well.
mm
azrac
The
Flavor
Lasts
Hazards
disappear
and hard
places come easy.
for WRICLEY'S
gives you comfort
and poise—it adds
the zest that
means success.
A great deal
for 5c
SEALED TIGHT
KEPT RIGHT
K 5
Closing Out
SCREEN DOORS
AT COST
BLACKFOOT HDW. & ELECTRIC CO.