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Lincoln County record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1900-1905, January 15, 1904, Image 6

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THE RECORD.
W. ABKU03I, NtlUWk
ROCHE, . . NKVAA,
How does It happen that all the
kicks on segregation come from the
glrlsT
The European prince or princess
who Is not the subject ot a scandal
must be lonesome.
Rev. Robert Collyer's reasons for
his long life omits the principal one:
Get yourself born healthy.
If you drink liquor on the isthmus
you will not live a year; If you drink
water you may survive for two weeks.
Booker Washington advises his race
not to wear gaudy clothes. But Isn't
Mr. Washington getting rather exact
ing? Nobody has yet suggested to boil
the beer In the hope ot heading off
the germs that lurk In the stuff we
drink.
Sir Thomas Upton continues to talk
about "the adorable American girl."
But why doesn't Sir Thomas "make
good?"
A whole week gone by and no mas
sacres or elopements among Austrian
royalty. But it is nearly the dead ot
winter.
The . life prisoner who committed
suicide down in Maine adopted the
most effective means of shortening his
sentence.
A Frenchman may pronounce "rut"
"root" in Beirut, but you will never
get any considerable number of Ameri
cans to do it
' In selecting cigars for your husband,
fair reader, remember that the better
the cigar the better it will keep bugs
off the plants.
The world Is overloaded with peo
ple who were just going to do some
thing when somebody else got In
ahead of them.
The star in "The Best of Friends"
is suing her husband for divorce. In
this case the play and not the name
must be the thing.
Entomologists say that the boll wee
vil can Jump twenty yards. ' It seems
to be a sort of cross between the
grasshopper and the flea.
If the novelists had any real spirit
they would write a novel in which
the heroine was named Abby Spruggs,
Instead of Violet Tremalne.
' Cotton raisers of Texas are to bold
another boll weevil convention. The
boll weevils have held theirs and ex
press a strong hope of carrying the
state.
: As Maine editors and fishermen
always tell the truth, it is an establish
ed fact that a cod caught off Klttary
Point had a six-pound flatiron la Its
midst
The estimated population of the
world is l,B47,4z3,000, and yet you
occasionally hear a young man say
that there's only one girl in the world
for him.
It is stated that John Wanamaker
"began life without a dollar In his
pocket." There is also ground for the
belief John began life without even
a pocket
The irritated and exasperated Jap
anese are now calling Russia "rokoku"
and one doesn't need to know Japan
ese to see that It doesn't mean "you
old darling."
Budd Doble says Lou Dillon will trot
in 1:55 or less next season. If Oliver
Wendell Holmes were still alive he
would probably say Budd Is talking
through his nose.
The Toronto World warns Uncle
Sara that In time Canada may think
seriously of forcibly annexing terri
tory stolon from her by the United
States. This Is alarming.
Marie Corelli has been awarded
damages of half a cent in her libel
suit against, an English editor. As a
matter of simple fairness Marie ought
to use the money for advertising pur
poses. Prof. Langley wants the world to
understand that he hasn't been
crushed, either by his bad luck with
his aerodrome or by the newspapers.
Here'B hoping that he'll fly by proxy
this time.
The thoughtful Burlington Hawk
eye counsels its Sunday readers to
"avoid pessimism in prayer." No mat
ter how down-hearted you may be,
don't give the Almighty any Inkling
of your real feelings.
The Chicago physician who de
clares that we would be a healthier
people if we bathed with water less
frequently apparently forgets that we
are not all comic opera prima donnas
and can't afford to bathe In milk.
If the Dowager Queen of Italy has
married an engineer she probably did
It because she Ufced him and not be
cause he wan the only fellow she
could get. Her fortune amounts to
several million dollars, and she might
even have had an English lord If she
had wanted one.
At Pittsburg the other day a man
who appeared before a magistrate and
swore that he had been bunkoed out
of $235 was fined 925 and sentenced
to thirty y in Jail for being crimi
nally careless with his money. Peo
ple who have been Investing In the
s'ock of Mr Schwab's shipbuilding
trust had better stay away from Pitts
burg. ) . ,., t
Possibly Herbert Spencer's alleged
proposal of marriage to George Eliot
was so highly abstract that its Import
was not fully grasped until too late.
A.- ROMANCE,
Bound in Morocco
Within the gates of Taza, the Morescan
j maiden Zaza,
, ,Ot i terrace in the twilight softly
strummed ber light guitar,
While her lover, Abd-el-Alla, a young
Arab, dark and sallow,
Waa fighting 'neath his Sultan with
bis troops from Alcazar.
From a Fondak there adjacent a con
valescent patient
Caught her warm and lustrous
glances as she languidly looked
down,
And this young Americano swept the
keys of a piano
As his look of admiration, with a
smile, chased 'way her frown.
To American Valor
A monument to American valor on
foreign soil, erected by the ancient foes
of the Republic, is the stirring spec
tacle Boon to mark the Bcene of the
bloodiest battle field of the War of
1S12. It will commemorate In one
common epitaph the desperate courage
ot those who perished fighting for
their respective countries at the old
fort in the suburbs of Toronto, Can
ada. By a singular fatality a calamity
overtook the Republic's soldiers on
what is now the site of Ontario's me
tropolis, though cqnfronted by Inferior
numbers. Moved by the spirit, of re
venge which -the catastrophe provoked,
the capital was destroyed, and events
followed that led to more bitterness
than all other features of the great
conflict, concluding with the burning
of Washington by British forces. It
la significant that the coming tribute
to brave Americans comes from a peo
ple but a few generations removed
from the period when these invaders
were regarded as vandals.
Things have changed much down on
the lake front, were the magazine of
the old fort engulfed two hundred and
fifty warriors of Gen. Pike with that
brave American officer. Still, there Is
much to remind American tourists,
who frequent the vicinity In large
numbers, of the tremendous on
slaughts of the Republic's forces on
the fort before the final calamity.
There are rusty guns, the abattis with
its sharpened logs pointing outward
acd upward, and the great grave where
rr-
The Sweet Infants
The man who owns a baby for the
first time Is the most undesirable per
son one could meet. To hear his talk
it would appear that he'd cornered the
! market.
! When such celebrations are on the
! w'.ng It is the wisest plan to have an
appointment at the time you meet the
father of It. The cheap libation Isn't
worth so much drivel on the greatest
wonder on earth. And, by the way,
when that baby has progressed to
that marvelous point in Its educa
tional career as to say "Goo," it is
positive madness to approach Its
father.
I once heard a man say when quite
aober that a fellow might have his
millions he waa alluding to dollars,
of course but give him a baby. I
willingly obliged him at that moment.
Some few weeks later I saw the same
man. He appeared to be In trouble
and wore the look of one who Is try
ing to cut loose from an extended Jag.
I casually sympathized with him and
aid I hoped nothing serious had hap
pened to his baby.
Turkish Coffee Best
The Turk Is unquestionably an artist
in distilling coffee, and no other peo
ple have succeeded in extracting from
this berry the aroma or sedative ef
fects that it is capable of giving.
There Is as much difference between
the ordinary cup of coffee and the ex
quisite and alluring beverage with all
Its subtle aroma as made by the artist
as there Is between horseflesh and the
best English beef. The Turks' meth
od la simple. They have many little
pots of various sizes, if they want
to make two cups only they use the
Bmaller one and if three cups a larger
one. When the water has boiled they
fill the little pot almost to the top with
water, then put in three lumps of
sugar and put the pot on the Are to
boll. When it Is hot they put in two
teaspoonfuls of coffee ground very
fine and then stir it round until It Is
thoroughly mixed with the water.
The next step Is to place the pot on
the fire again and watch It very care
fully until the coffee bubbles up to a
froth, and before this froth escapes
The Straying Desire
Bom people there be who never can see
Any value In aught (hut they have.
But what others have got and what they
have not
Is that which they eagerly crave.
If their neighbors have less they are fain
to confess
That riches are only a care;
But If others have more there's a terri
ble roar
Because It's so very unfair.
If a lass has a bonnet with feathers
upon It
The maid with the flower hat weeps;
If a lad has a marble some comrade will
warble,
"Oh, come, let's play marbles for keeps."
Too oft it's the same with the beautiful
dame
Who stares at the world through her
lorgnou;
She ceased to sigh or bother as the
strains of "Hiawatha"
Came in rippling repetition through
the perfume-ladened air,
And forgot her bold defender, who
was fighting the Pretender,
While her fancy rewove warp and
woof of romance then and there.
But as the day was dying, In wild
haste the news came flying
Of Abd-el-Alla having fallen, and
now the rumor says,
Zaza sits among tho queenly, content
ed nd serenely.
The Ite of the Sultan, In his
p-.uie back in Fez.
Justin Frivole, in Philadelphia Led
ger. j
formerly stood a bastion and where
British and American dead lie In one
mass Just as they were cast from dif
ferent parts of the bloody field. Over
this common grave broad minded Ca
nadians think It fitting that a common
granite shaft, telling its simple story
of brave men dying each for his own
country, should mark this bit of
"lame's eternal camping ground."
The threshold of the magazine which
proved the funoral pyre of Gen. Pike
and many of his men still stands,
marked by a huge tablet, and Is the
curiosity sought by all American tour
ists. Just within stood the American
commander, talking to a captive Brit
on, when the explosion came. History
has failed to determine Just how the
magazine happened to explode. Per
haps a desperate Britisher thought to
destroy his country's foes even though
In his dying agony. Another version is
accident.
The course of events has brought
the old fort for which the British and
Americans fought that day into pos
session of the city of Toronto. The
municipality has just acquired the site
for $200,0(10. It will be turned Into a
park. The old scars of the tragic
conflict will be wiped out, and Ameri
can tourists who visit the city next
summer will see the old relic trans
formed into a playground for chil
dren. The bastion, where lie the vic
tims of that engagement, in the south
west corner of the fort, will be the
point from which will rise a granite
ah aft.
A look of agony gripped his fea
tures; he pulled his hat over his eyes,
suggested a destination I am not yet
prepared for, and was lost in the
crowd. I did not know his baby was
teething.
I want to tip you off on this: When
you are offered the honor of "holding
the little darling" for a minute, turn
It down. Say, "None of that for
mine," or make some such polite re
fusal. If It should happen that you
haven't paid back that last loan, and
It becomes a matter of necessity, t
would recommend great caution in
handling the precious mito.
It will probably wear that absurdly
called long clothes. If so. take a firm
grip as near the middle of the drapery
as you can guess and hold on t It
until you hear it squeal. That's, -he
end usually held uppermost at this
early stage of man's career.
I once knew a man who took hold
of the arrangement by the wrong end
and let the inside fall into the coal
vase. He is a friend of the family not
longer.
over the sides you take the pot from
the fire and tap the bottom gentry on
the stove till the froth goes down.
Once again the coffee is allowed to
bubble over the fire and the process ot
tapping the pot on the stove Is. re
peated three times.
When the froth rises to the surface
for the fourth time the pot should be
taken from the fire and the coiffee
should be poured first Into one cup-and
then into another, so that each cup
contains a portion of the froth on the
top.
The Englishman cannot make coffee
at all. He tries hard, but never -succeeds
either in making a perfect cup
of Turkish or French coffee. The
Frenchman, on the other hand, also
tries hard to make a perfect cup of
Turkish coffee, but he meets with little
more success than the Englishman.
One thing must never be forgotten.
The coffee must be freshly roastied and
g-ound. It must not bo roasted too
black; a dark brown is tho tdealicolor.
Then the flavor is divine.
Some other attire, some other dame's
sou I re,
la what she has Just act her heart on.
How many hearts ache and how many
brrii It
With dfHtreit that elsewhere do roam;
Those who dolefully cry for the moon In
the sky
Would ti nil more satisfaction at home.
For there's one circumstance which
should greatly enhance
The worth of what one may possess;
That which he despises some one else
highly prizes
And wants, more than words can ex
press. To use well all one's got In his own little
lot
Will furnish Joys quit unexpected:
To mine one's own Held will frequently
yield
A wealth hitherto unsuspected.
-Eugenia EUte Blaln,
Hfcrx -eHJ ftW
TEDDY'S
If I were you, nd you were I,
Grandmamma,
You'd be allowed the crust Of pie,
Grandmamma.
And CHndy, too. And If high-spy
you liked to play, or kites to ny,
I d like them, or at least I'd try;
And lessons should be by and by.
I'm sure you wouldn't ever cry
If I were you. and you were I,
Grandmamma.
If you were I, and I wore you,
Grandmamma,
I'd ask you what you wished to do,
Grandmamma;
And If your game was sot quite through
When bedtime came really, it's true
I'd lt you watt. Kach day a few
Nice toys I'd give you, bright and new.
I think you'd think it pleasant, too,
If you were I, and I were you,
Grandmamma.
1 - ' - ''
Father's Change of Heart
Ity ISA. WKIUHT-HANSOW
Copyrighted, ma, by Tht Aulhort Publishing Coti.pany
"Most ready, mother?"
Caroline ran In, her eyos sparkling
with the thought of some anticipated
pleasure, but she stopped suddenly.
Her mother sat In a little rocking
chair, with her knitting In her hands.
"You are not going?''
Mother "knit two, seam two, all the
way across the needle" before she
laid her work In her lap and answered
Caroline.
"No I thought "
"It Isn't what you thought, at all,"
Caroline burst out. "It's father again!
He's found out that you were going to
have a little pleasure, and he said you
shouldn't go! He's Just as selfish as
as I am!"
"Hush," the mother said, gently,
"You must not speak so of your fath
er. It wouldn't be any pleasure for
him to go galllvantin' through the
woods after leaves, and he can't real
ize how much I wanted to. I ought to
stay home and finish this sock anyway,
and prob'ly I'd ketch cold and have
rheumatics If I went. The wind is go
ing to blow, too. Maybe there'll be a
shower."
"Mother, you know every word
you've Bald Is what father told you.
Wind blowing! You can't see a leaf
blowing! You can't see a leaf stirring;
and there Isn't a cloud in the sky. You
couldn't take cold if you tried. It's all
a burning shame!"
Mother's wistful eyes looked out on
the garden. Father thought It a sin
ful waste of time and ground to raise
flowers, so the garden was always cab
bages and the like, except where Caro
line had planted some blossoming
thing. Her heart yearned for the
beautiful, and the woods, brilliant in
scarlets and yellows well, she must
not think of them. She turned reso
lutely from the clump of flags and the
hollyhock. Hor eyes brightened when
she looked at Caroline. It was no
wonder that Will Archer had taken
her away from them so early, and had
built a little home for her where sho
had flowers a-plenty. If Will hud or
dered her to leave the ground for cab
bages Instead of flowers, It would have
made no difference to Caroline. She
was Arm like ber father.
"Mother, It makes me mad to have
you cow down as you do! What com
fort do you take? Father works hard
through the week, but on Saturday af
ternoons he goes to town and enjoys
himself. You work like a slave all
week, and at night when he is sleeping
you are sewing all the time. Sundays
you might have a little rest, but with
the chores and the baths and dinner
to get, you have but precious little
time. If you ever do think of some
thing to give you a little pleasure,
father knocks It all over. Sometimes
I think I hate him."
.'"Caroline!" Mother's voice was
shocked. "He's your father, child!"
"I don't care If he's my great grand
father! If I'd had my way, I'd have
had a father who wasn't so selfish.
There, mother, I am sorry I hurt you.
You shall have a bunch of pretty
leaves."
Mother's work lay Idle as Caroline
"You couldn't take cold If you tried."
walked out of sight. Her mind trav
eled back to the day she had entered
that house as fair and as young as
Caroline. Father was so proud of his
young wife, and she fairly worshiped
her husband. Her hands were willing
and her body was strong, so she helped
father with the chores, and ran er
rands for him, besides doing her own
work. She was contented with a kind
word or a caress for her pay. She did
it now without kind words and ca
resses, but men get over those senti
mental feelings quicker than women
do.
"Mother!"
She started, guiltily, and ran to the
door. "What Is It. father?
"Git supper as quick as you kin. I'm
I (I ill II I I ; i
Pi .
... going to drive them steers ever to
! Brighton J kin as 'oll as not. fer It's
moonlight nights now, - Then I'll go
I
Hrtf Cx
HINT.
au' see Brother Caleb, so I may not gjt
back U11 to-mftrrow night. You kin
tend .to things around here."
Mother rose early next morning, as
was her custom. As she went to the
barn with the milk pails, she remem
bered that it was Sunday. It seemed
like Sunday, too; she felt the peace of
the day in her soul. As the white
streams went steallly Into the pail, a
daring thought came to her. She
would go to church! If she worked
fast she could go.
She was out of breath when she got
to the meeting house, but It rested her
to look over the congregation. Sary
Ann Mason had on a new bonnet; and
that must be Janie Williams with her
steady beau. She had almost lost
track of the young folks since Caro
line had married. She felt half re-
She shook hands with her neighbor.
Moved that Caroline and Will were not
there. They would look so surprised
to see her. Father would be angry If
ho. knew, but what the eyes don't see,
the heart don't grieve over.
The preacher was talking, and she
composed herself to listen. As she
heard the familiar words, the vague
longing, lying dormant In her heart for
many years, became definite, and,
strong as a mighty torrent, there
swept through the parched plains of
her being a resolve.' , '
"Return ye, return ye," the preacher
was saying, and she would return.
She shook hands with her neigh
bors as in a dream. She refused a
ride home that she might be alone
with her new-foun.. Joy. Not until
she saw her father up.m the doorstep
did she lose her exaltation, and then
only for a moment.
"Wher've you ben?" he demanded.
"To meetln', father."
"After all I've told you about them
drlvelin', sneakln' preachers! I s'posed
you had more sense. . I won't have no
Bible readin', prayln' folks 'round
me!"
Mother made no reply, but went
quietly to getting dinner. It did not
occur to her to ask why he had come
home so early. When father wanted
her to know anything, he told her; If
he said nothing, she never asked.
The next Sunday, father stared,
open-mouthed, as he saw unmistak
able signs that she was going to
meeting. Would she dare disobey his
orders? He would about as soon ex
pect to see th) sun rise in the west.
When she had actually gone, he
said, grimly: "Just wait till she comes
back!"
Truth was, mo;her dreaded the com
ing back. Tho brief lifting up, "as on
engle wings," had given placo to
gloom. She was going to do her duty
-she would not fall in that now but
the blessed joy had, for the time, de
parted. As she came back, with lag
ging steps, father met her at the door.
She tried to smile as she went to
ward him, but it was a miserable at
tempt. As she would have passed him,
he caught her roughly by the shoulder.
"1 tolled you i'd have no prayln',
pious folks round me an' I meant It!
You kin git right out of here!'.'
lie gave her a push, and she would
have fallen had she not grasped the
shirt nanging loosely upon his bosom.
With that clutch, her smoldering spirit
blazed forth.
"Father! You shan't keep me out!
I'll stick to you so long as they's a
breath in your body! '
Something very like admiration
shone in fat.ier's eyes, as he vnlnly
tried to loosen ,her hold ; and some
thing very like k chuckle sounded In
father's throat as he retreated into
the house, saying very gruffly:
"Well, stay if you want to! No
body cares!"
After this, father watched her nar
rowly. He wondered If she would as-ser-
her Independence In other ways;
but in all matters save this one. she
was the same meek, quiet woman.
Tho fourth Sunday of the month was
set aside for the baptism, oi converts,,
sua
A brlof discourse was given i ha
school house, then the congregation
was to repair to the river, a quarter of
a mile distant.
There was a coodly number fath
ers and daughters, mothers and sons,
husbands and wives. It seemed nat
ural that they should follow the
preacher In couples, and natural that
timid, retiring, little mother should be
last, and alone.
Alone? Sbe bad taken a few steps,
repressing, wlta characteristic pa
tience, the sigh which rose to her Hps,
when someone stepped for -ard,' and
awkwardly toon her arm. Then heav
en's own glory filled to overflowing her
poor, starved soul, for "someone" was
father!
WEDDING RITES OF SAVAGES.
Very Simple Ceremonies Constitute
"a Marriage Among Them.
The marriage ceremonies of many
pavages are of the simplest possible
'eacrlptlon. In Borne places, indeed,
says the Leisure Hour, ceremony Is
almost entirely dispensed with. There
are no wedding rites In Dahomey, "ex
cept where the king confers the wife,"
the Interference of royalty rendering
It necessary for the bride to present
her future lord with a glass of rum.
Brandy-drinking is the principal feat
ure of the ceremony in some Brazil
ian tribes. Amongst the Navajos, It Is
only required of the bride and bride
groom to eat maize-pudding from the
came platter. In the Hill tribes of
North Aracan, marriage is described
as "a simple contract unaccompanied
by ceremony," and It is an equally In
formal affair in many other tribes. At
a Khasla wedding, "the couple about
to be married merely sit together In
one seat, and receive their friends, to
whom they give a dinner or feast."
They have a rather mixed ceremony
amongst the Gonds and Korkus, con
sisting of "eating together, tying the
garments together, dancing together
round a pole, being half-drown- ' to
gether by a douche of water, and the
Interchange of rings." A negress of
Loango is legally married after the
bridegroom has eaten from two dishes
which she has cooked with her own
hand and carried to his hut.
AN EPIDEMIC OF MADNESS. J
Hungarian Aristocracy Driven Into
Insanity by Dissipation.
A singular epidemic of madness
seems to be making its way among
the higher Hungarian nobility and af
fecting some families of European
notoriety.
Count George Festetics, the eldest
son of Count Tassllo Festetics and
Lady Mary Douglas-Hamilton, lately
committed suicide in a lunatic asylum
by hanging himself. He was only 20
years old.
Another Hungarian magnate, Count
Szabo, of Arad, the owner of nearly
500,000 acres of land, has had to be
confined as a dangerous lunatic. He
had lately Incurred heavy losses at
play, and was laboring unuer the Im
pression that he could not pay his
debts, and that his creditors were pur
suing him night and day with red-hot
Irons to brand him as a swindler. '
A third noble, having large estates
in Transylvania, Count Estaaby, has
fallen a victm to mania, after a wild
career of dissipation extending over
several years, during which he sold
every stick of furniture in his castle
and every tree on his extensive es
tates. Now he regards himself as an
incorporation of various Old Testa
ment personages sometimes Moses,
sometimes Abraham, but more fre
quently Solomon..
Bridge of Fish.
The salmon are so thick In the
mouth of Mill creek just' below the
government fishery racks, says a Red
ding dispatch to the San Francisco
Call, that they are seen right up to
the surface of the water, and so close
ly packed together that a person look
ing upon the mass would feel that he
could cross the creek dry shod by
stepping on the backs of the fish as
they appear above the water. They
are crowded up by the mass which
extends down to tho bottom of the
stream.
At the fishery the fish can be secur
ed in greater quantities than they can
be handled, and the hatchery is run
ning at Its full capacity. Some days
as many as 1.000,000 eggs are secured.
People from the southern part of the
county go to the hatchery for the flsh,
which are given away after the spawn
ing operation. Many millions of young
salmon will be hatched this season,
as operations have been under way
for some time and may continue for
some time longer If the river does
not rise too high.
Companions.
A hundred times my feet have trod the
way
At lust we trend together, you and I;
Yet never seemed so swift until to-day
Your heart conjectures why.
A hundred times my eara have heard the
song
Of bird and wind, we. listening, made
our own:
Ycl never seemed its notes so pure and
strong
When I waa here alone.
A hundred times I thought; "How fair to
see
The young grass Is, and every leafy
bough!"
How beautiful the autumn world might
be
I never guessed till now. . ,
And If ah! if we two must part again.
And on our solitary journeys go.
I shall he thankful, even In my pain,
That love has blessed me so,
Home Chat
The Bishop's Petticoats.
When the new bishop came to the
church, of which Ethel's father is a
pillar, she went, with all the family,
to the first high mass he celebrated,
and was deeply .Impressed with his
gorgeous vestments. One afternoon
in the following week her father called
on the bishop, taking Ethel with him.
Sho sat perfectly still, perched up on
a chair, until her father rose to go,
when the bishop gave a little atten
tion to his youthful caller.
She said a few words to him, but
the cleric saw there was something on
her mind.
"Is there anything I can do for you,
Ethel?" he asked.
"Oh, yes. Bishop," she replied,
clasping her haiiiN in her excitement
"Will you show nie your lovely petti-'
coats,"
A FOUR DOLLAR BILL.
Orummer'a Shrewd Scheme That
Proved a Winner.
"But I tell you," said the bank clerk,
it is betting on a sure thing. No one
ever saw a four-dollar bill. There Is
no such thing."
"I don't want your money, said the
drummer, drawing his chair closer to
the country store stove, "but you were
bo cock-sure that I thought you might
like to bet. They may not have four
dollar bills In Five Corners, but they
hBve them in New York, all right."
"Take him up for 2," said the liv
ery stable man, "and I'll go him for
the same amount."
The drummer was absorbed in his
newspaper.
"I'm in for another 2," chipped in
the storekeeper.
Nothing doing with the drummer.
"Got him treed," snikered the bank
clerk, and everybody laughed.
"You fellows mean It?" asked the
drummer.
"Sure's eggs is eggs," replied the
storekeeper.
The drummer took out a bulky poc
etbook and with impressive delibera
tion laid on the table a letterhead of
the Leven Little Tailors:
: To bill rendered ... $4.00 :
The" alienee was profound. "Well,
f guess weir step across 'to the hotel
for a round on me," Bald the livery
man, "and then I must be getting
home to supper."
THE DINNER WAS FORGOTTEN.
And Yet the Young Husband Did Not
Seem Unhappy.
She was waiting for him at the
door when he returned home from
business, and he clasped her In his
arms. The honeymoon was over, and
they had been Just two weeks in their
new Harlem flat Her delicious din
ners had not yet proved all that he
had hoped for, but he was good-natured
about it because their servant
was little more than a girl. The hap
py, bride was looking after the cook
ing herself.'1!.
Oh, XIck."ishe said, as she took
his hat, coat, and bundle of newspa
pers, "I've had such a delightful day.
Florence has been here, and she was
delighted with, our cozy corner, as she
called It. Then we went out shopping
together and I've the loveliest "
"Yes,-yes, dearhe'satd," "but you
can tell me all about It at dinner. I'm
a little hungrier than usual to-night
and why what's the matter?"
"Dick," she whimpered, "I've "
"There, never mind, dear, if you
have spent a little more money than
you should have done. We'll make it
up somehow." t
"But, Dick, I've let the girl go out
for the evening and "
"Oh, never mind the girl. We'll
wait on ourselves, and I'll help you
wash the dishes. There, now."
"But, Dick, dear, I've been so busy
I've forgotten the dinner."
And as they walked to the ele
vated Btatlon In gloomy silence she
wondered why he looked so happy.
New York Times,
In the Corn Belt.
A friend of mine, a clergyman, and
a very close observer, told me that
upon one of his trips through the West
almost every man he met and spoke
with used profanity, but finally he
found one; man who talked to him for
twenty minutes without using an oath.
As they were about to separate my
friend shook hands with the stranger
and sajdr,, f ,(
t ''You don't (tnow hw .glad 1 am
to have a chance to have a talk with a
man like you. You are the first man
I have met for three days who could
talk for five minutes without swear
ing." The stranger was so surprised and
shocked at this deplorable state of af
fairs that he Instantly and innocently
ejaculated:
"Well, I'll be damned!" Prof. T. N.
Carver In The World's Work.
Little Kindnesses.
If you were tolling up a weary hill,
Bearing a load beyond your Btrength to
bear.
Straining each nerve untiringly, and still
Stumbling and losing foothold here and
there,
And each one passing by would do so
much
As give one upward lift and go their
way,
Would not the slight reiterated touch
Of help and kindness lighten all the
day?
If you were breasting a keen wind,
which tossed
And buffeted and chilled you as you
Btrove,
Till, baffled and bewildered quite, you
lost
The power to see the way, and film to
move, ,
And one, If only for a moment's space,
Gave you a shelter from the bitter
' blast, ...
Would you not And It easier to face
The torm again when the brief rest
was past?
'i.iere Is no little and there Is no much.
We weigh , and measure and define In
vain. "-" .;
A look, a word, a light responsive touch,
Can be a minister of Joy to pain.
A man can die of hunger walled in gold,
A crumb may quicken hope to stronger
breath,
And every day we give or we withhold
Borne little thing which tella for life
or death.
8arah Chauncey Woolsey.
Be Moderate.
There was a Man once who Had a
Bulldog with a forged restraint at
tached to Him, and one Day this Man
went out to the Bulldog's lowly Resi
dence and said:
"If I were to Unchain you, would
you Appreciate the Favor?"
Is "Why,?' aaid- the. Bulldog, "I would
fairly eat you Up with Joy."
' "Your Gratirtide is a Trifle overex
pressed," said the Man, as he Walked
away and Ordered an Extra Chain to
be hitched to the Dog.
The moral of this Is: Don't Waste
Your Superlatives: You May Be Mis
understood. Baltimore News.
Origin of Tuberculosie.
Prof. Beh ring's fundamental propo
sition regarding tuberculosis Is that
as a general rule it has Its origin In
early infancy, and that contrary to
the view of Prof. Koch, the vehicle
for the conveyance of this latent in
fection is milk,

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