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Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, December 07, 1909, Image 4

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86092066/1909-12-07/ed-1/seq-4/

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Entered as second class aiatter
f, .i<« ,t »». Post <)f
. Itliicllrl'! A V iider
avi of Con r> crcb 3rd l'<v
i■»s< RIPTION 15 \ I BS8
Carrier, Payable In Advance
* •
t. i h« 1.00
By Mall, Cash 1u Advance.
I uaily one year .$3.00
• ally six months .$1.76
• vion he $ 1 .b1
■ I' ll ll Ill It ill It
i i fU.,aameb to the Blue
In bl> hln.”, Con-nan}
. ,iii«Miw Ul<* res* lftt
! 1 >ii.!. i (l 3.
A humorist is a man who succeeds
in getting n joko onto an) editor.
Humorist*} are not numerous, says
Judge. Tl'.ty would lie even less
numerous it they were not so hard
to catch. Killing a man who tries to
tickle you to d< at it is justifiable homi
cide, aud this right is recognized in
America, where it is called the un
w ritten me ther-in-law.
Humorists misspend their lives in
digging up petrified puns, which the>
revive, remodel, and retail. A new
tail on a joke often makes it salable
and a new joke in a tale often make
it available.
When a joke is avilable, the edi
tor usually promises to pay on pub
lication. That is tin* joker in th<
acceptance, and if the humorist doesn't
live until the jok.* is published it is
tlie editor'., joke. So being a humor*
in is no jok* Neither will b*-ing ;
j ike make a humorist: though bu
rn >ri-M aie i :ally jokers.
A humorist is known b\ his jok
tug. ami |2i >5 kh! joke doesn't die
young. A good joko is an old Joke
made <» h ok like new. \ new joke—
’.veil, Je w juk* s are horn, not made,
... . , uo.io .-> ipdoiii have twins.
IQ I* • .iik<d around that Ciiilord
i’inehot, chief forester of the United
stati i, vs in huvo to go on account
of the ttailingcr imb~oglio. And here
eoui* s m the daz/.li\g beauty of i*>h
tlcs. W by should IMnchot go, grunt
! inc that In- does? The country gen
erally belli \ - that l*inchot is an
honest man, and it knows that he has
| !r en a faithful ufllcia! in protecting
I'fho ior«*sts, ihe mineral lands and
i tin* streams against the ravages of
I niauranding coriKn ai ions. He has
I done the !<• st In could under the <ir
ctinistane,‘s. It is generally admit c ^
j mat Louts It. tllaves, land entry in
i j eetor of Maska, wlio fought against
patenting away coal Itinds worth Idl
.ions probably, acted honestly anS*
to the best of his judgment whici -
pears to have been pretty good, but
j h«* had y go.
I This is not the point, however. It'.
I not fKilltics by a large majority. Hal
iinger is the darling of tin Huggen
helins and a bimeh of Seattle graf*
s. M in se opeople want him t
stay; tney need him in their b
mss, and it's beaut if til yellow boys
to plugged dimes that tliev will gei
Im. It s the eountry ami the p'Ojde
b< damned any way.
As the mo-t lilit ral mimic I man, and
withai the greatest man in the world,
Jesus ( lirist has perhaps been more
n.'•understood and his teachings mis
iiiterpre? si by liis own iwoplo to a
g: tiler exh at thau anyone else. Of till
t. .tigs else the im ek and lowly isuvior
ithhorred bigotry, hypocrisy am* nar
p w min im His in,, show- that it
was his aim to drive out evil by im
planting good; that he preferred to
pray and plead with the sinner rather
than burn him ai the staku if lie re
filled salvation. \\ bile the Christian
ri ligion is l emming liberalized to a
wry is mark tbic extent and inclined to
Interpret Chris: as lie was, it has not
always net n so since the dawn of the
'a. Dr. Lyman Abbott, editor of tile
Oi;tl<«ok make« a few remarks about
Jvstis Christ which uie worthy ■
devout attention ol every aian wi.etii
vr Christian or sinner, bond or fr .
Dr. Abbott nays:
I do no? know »h<‘ her fhri-t woul 1
b<> a lu al abs'aiir or not. but I a
vary huh- flat, lie would not confound
otul al-.-.Uiu iu* and uuipci anc* . II.
would i oi think that total abstinence
roni one form of indulgence h; si-'
control, ih would not tench that ..
man wno cats pie until his face i a.
soft as pastry, and who drinks coffee
until his fi.c*e is as yellow as coffee
night t i he called a temp* ranee mat
b cause i e do* mu drink b <*r.
"Chrl t would not teach that play
ing bulls about a greensward la n»;u'
because if is croquet, but that knock
ing balls about a green table is wrong
b cause it is billiards.
"Christ would not teach t.hai plap
ing games with cards that arc his*
lorlcal is tiglit. but that playing garnet
with cards that hav< spad-s an li
.iniotig fin n. is wrong.
“Christ would not tench that it is
r ght to go to see tableaux, but. wrong
<» witness a professional puny by pro
lesison.il |..avers in a theatre.
■ Christ would not t. aeb that it Is
right to wear precious flowers, but
wropg 1<J wear precious jewels.
■ 1 think Jesus Christ would 1m* one
of tin' men who think it w right to be
rich. Ho never condemned thrift or
industry or the accumulation oi^weabh
or prop rty. What In- did condemn
was making the accumulation of prop
erty an end in life."
The Penalty of Greatness.
The greater the truth the greater
the likelihood that the few who se.
it first v\ill lie set down as lunatics.
&. Just JesKss 5. |
Undispute! This Time.
Nobody has yet arisen to dispute
Senator Mdrich's statement that An
drew Ja ksoii is dead—Boston Her
Down to Brass Tracks.
The salaried editor of an exchange
curtly challenged Hit apla IVIadino
to make the ghost walk twice a
week. N >w we arc dropping from the
,o'cult and gettiiuf down to I liras a
lack*.—Detroit Free Pres*.
Modest Gambling Game.
•'Here, l say! lie a bit more cat *ul
with that razor: that's the second time
vou'it- rit
“Vfel v.. II. *c» it ;; but tie n ! I
uluny* deduct a ha'p« nn> for < very
rut. Why, it's nothing for a man
to go oi l of h« i e ' ng won four
P-nce off me.’*- ,(•••.
Yes,But Where Are They?
There ur< now .'{70,'tBr» Jobs iu the
Federal . “i vice ns shown by the bine
book. As we have often said, now is,
tin* time lot all good men to come j
to the aid of tin* I) mocratlc party.—
Houston Post.
Use of the Automobile by Farmers
Aiding the Improvement Movement.
Head improvements in tin* west, al
ready noticeable to a slight degree, are
suru to follow when the farmers of
that section awake to the realization
• •f their condition as compared with
some of those of the east. Nothing
will arouse the farmers to this so
much as the use of the automobile, anil
it will be the more general use of the
car by the farmer that will result in
better roads.
In sections where farmers are using
ears to any extent road improvements
are already noticed, but there Is still
room for more, and inure there will be
in the hour future. Motoring is most
enjoyed on good smooth roads. Farm
ers owning cr.rs realize this as well as
any, and not only are they bestirring
themselves toward appropriations for
good highways, but are iu many cases
furnishing the labor necessary for road
bet ferments.
In some farming sections of the west
iutoinoliilo owners can be picked out t
by a glance at the roadway in their
miiicdinte iieigbltorluied. Near their
houses rough, uneven surfaces have
been smoothed off and soft, slippery
roadways resurfaced. Fob farmer |
corns to take Interest in Hie loads near
his own home. When more farmers
have cars, and they are buying them
rapidly, there will be more short ]
stretches of perfect roads, and at some
future time, not far distant, the stretch
will be unbroken.
France Trying Experiments With
Highways Made of This Material.
Ferro cement roads are being experi
mented with in France. The substance
is made of cement mixed with straw.
To make a slab or block of ferro ce
ment a mass of iron straw i- placed in
the mold, and there is poured over it
cement Kttdieiently fluid to penetrate
into all the hit erst lets of tie iron and
completely cover it. When the whole
lias set. the core < f Iron thus Intimately
i't Mir: . I -l I o. ’ •• o , • : •,, | ! ,, I, If ft.- -I ifMi I I
resistance to breakage and to tracllon.
at the same time furnishing elasticity
to compression which enables it to
stand, superficial shocks. A brick of
ferro cement <m*und three-fifths Inches
thick ho* .stityponed during crushing
tests a pressure'of about sixty-five tons
to the square Inch. In breakage tests j
tin* resistance was quadruple that of
ordinary cement. Itesistunce to wear
was no less remarkable.
The Use of Wide Tires.
As to the desirability of the use of
the wide tires there can be no ques
tion. The most casual observation will |
suffice to convince any one of the dam*
age which a heavily laden wagon i
equipped with the ordinary sharp,
rounded, narrow tires will produce on
any road. There is also another ami
Iterhaps even greater advantage to ixi
gained by the use of wide tlres--name
ly. ihe increased hauling capacity at
No More Passes.
"It always makes me sick to ride on
the cars."
"Once it didn’t affect mo that way,
but It docs now."
"That so?"
"You bet. I Just bote it."
“Getting old. eh?"
“Not much—have to pny fare."
Going Into a Safer Business.
It Mas Cassidy's first morning as
newspaper carrier. From side to side
of the avenue fiu hurried, dropping the
moist sheets in vestibules and running
them in the space between the door
ami sill. Finally lie came to a house
Hint was separated from the sidewalk
by an urn studded yard. Cassidy open*
«sl the iron gate and walked up the ;
stone path, lie knelt in the vestibule
and Started running the (taper under
the door. An upper window was rais
ed, and a woman s voice called:
“Is that you, Harry? You are nwful
late. I hear the milk carts rattling."
Cassidy thought it best to remain
quiet. Tito voice continued:
"You needn’t think I'm coming down
at such an hour! The idea of you, a
married innn, coining home at such a
time! Lost your key, as usual? Well,
catch tills one.”
A heavy piece of brass shot tivo sto
ries. There was a heavy fall, and tho '
vestibule resembled a press room.
’./Some one found Cassidy smoking
bis pipe in t lie "accident ward."
"Going back to the carrier route?" .
they asked.
"Nicer once more,” responded Cassi
dy. "Oi’in goin* back to wur-ruk In
ill’ quarry. Thor’s no failin’ kites thor, i
only dynomited rocks."—Chicago News.
It is an excellent thing to have lots
of push and energy, provided you
bead them In the right direction and
keep tliom going.
The man who can at a .glance dis
tinguish between real trouble and a
mere trifle lias all the qualities for
Our Santa Claus
Toy land
There is nothing dearer to a child’s {heart
than Toys. A visit to our Toy Department is
like a trip with Alice in Wonderland.
Toys Toys Toys
For all. from the Little Tot to the Grown Up
Folks. Every Known Mechanical Toy.
of all Descriptions. The Big Pancy Bisque
Dolls that go to sleep and have natural hair,
and little Rubber Dolls for Baby.
Pretty bisque at 5c., 10c., 25c.
liisque dolls, full pointed, at 50c.
and 75c.
Celluloid Dolls,5c to 45c; Chi
na (lolls. 1c. to 25c.
Jointed kid Dolls, bisque
heads; good shaped bodies. 23'.
to $1.50.
Columbia Dolls, tho fi!i°st
doll made; closing eyes full
Jointed; bisque heads; aubu’n.
blonde and brunette st
$1.00 up.
Wc show over 200 d fferont
styles—dozens ofe ach sty]"—
I many made especially to our
designs: Auto Girl. Dutch, Itf.l
!JTi, School Boy and Girl, (lir!
with Sweater. "Mary Jane; ’
/’Buster Brown,” Sailors, and
scores o fothers. at25c. »5 $2.00.
Seperate Bisque Dolls' He ds.
All have hair and can b»
readily put on any old doll 3
body, 50c., 75c., $1.00.
Fire Engines 50c. to $l 50.
Automobile Pylers 50c to $1.50
Vestibuled Traius, 50c. to $1.
Motor Cars $1.00 to $1 50.
Pacing Bob, 25c. to $1.00
Steam engines, 25c. to $3.50. |
Hundreds of other articles too
numerous to mention.
Everything to make the children
happy is here. We have the stock;
Prices are Right!
Department Store
r hc Manning-Bowman
Chafing Dishes, with Patented Ivory En
ameled Food Pan. “METEOR” Cir
culating Coffee Percolators. The Man
ning-Bowman Denatured Alcohol Gas
Stove A complete line of Nickel-plated
Baking Dishes. Tea and Coffee Pots -*
There i~ n >thnv mere appropriate than
one of our Sterling Silver Carving' Setr.
Let Your Christmas
Presents be Useful!
Now is the time to select your Christmas presents.
Why not give your friends something useful?
They will appreciate a useful present more, and
will think of you every day during the year. Our
stock is full of useful presents.
We have Card Trays, Nut Sets, Tea Bells, and a
fine line of sterling silver and plated flat ware.
Wise Scissors Sets, Pocket Knives, Razors, etc.
Ingersoll Dollar Watches. Stock very complete.
Do not fail to see our line before making your
I 23 and I 27 Princeton Avenue
IL ILF"* jjr~
For the Boys
We hav** Tool Chests, complete
with tools. The boys will enjoy
one of these chests. See our Hob
by Horses, Velocipedes, Go-Carts,
Wheelbarrows, Express Wagons,
Air Rifles, Foot-Balls, Automobiles,
Toy Engines and Trains, Flexible
Flyer Trains, Ice Skates and hund
reds of other articles.
Remember the KODAK makes a fcood
present for any member of the family.
Brownie Cameras, $1 to $5. Kodaks,
♦5 to $35. Complete line Kodak Supplies
Send your friend a Kodak Calendar j*

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