Ceredo advance. [volume], October 16, 1901, Image 8

About Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939

Image provided by: West Virginia University

                
_r>f,rtdo Advance.
A Keimlilioan Newspaper that
has a large circulation in the Big
Samly ami Twelve Pole Valievs
— anexcellent advertising medi
um
Published livery Wednesday.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
One copy, one yeai y - - $1.00
One copy, nIx months, - - .r»0
Strictly cash in advance.
Twenty-fl ve t»er ceut. will Ihj willed when
Mull in not paid.
Job printing of all kinds neatly
anti promptly execute*' on rea*
gonable terms,
TO SU BSCRTI*ER S~~
We cannot discontinue your j*at*er until al
arrearages are j»aid. Don’t ask us. Don’t say
•top my paper until I *et what I owe paid up
etc. In no case can we do this. It is a jfcneral
-ule we have to adopt to protect ourselves.
When you do not want the pa|>er any longer,
pay up and stop it. Don't have your postmas
ter drop us a card that it in not taken out of the
office. If you were publishing a paper you
wouldn’t want us to do you that wav.
When you move from your present fiost-office
don’t fail to notify us at once of the change,
ffivinir your former post-office a* well as your
new one. This is absolutely necessary.
Way lie Courts.
Terms of Circuit Court: Fourth Monday In
January, May and September.
Terms of County Court: First Monday In Jan
uar.v> April and July,and Third Monday inKo
Vetnber.
Rev. E. J. Westfall, formerly
pastor of the M E. churches of
Kcnovaand Ceredo, has been assign
ed to Bayard, on the (>aklaml Dis
trict. Rev. W. li. Fra/.olle has
been appointed for Ceredo. Keuova
is to be supplied.
W. T. Wessou, Cholsouville, Va.,
druggist, writes: “Your One Mm-j
ute Cough Cure gives perfect satis- j
taction. My customers say it is
the best remedy for coughs, colds,
throat and lung troubles.” W. M.
Bloss, Ceredo; R. N. Williams,
Keuova.
Tammany’s new Shepard is likely
to encounter considerable diffi
culty in separating the wolves
from the sheep.
Mothers everv where praise One
Min ute Cough Cure for th« suffer
ings it has relieved and the lives
of their little ones it has saved, j
Strikes at the root of the trouble
and draws out the inflammation.
The children’s favorite Cough Cure. I
\\ . M. Bloss, Ceredo; R. N. Wil-j
liams, Keuova.
The way in which Mr. Roosevelt
keeps the politicians guessing is
delightful, but they have no need
of guessing when he talks.
For Over Fifty Years.
MRU. WIN SLOW ’H HOOTHINO HYKUP
has been used for over fifty years by mil
lion* of mother* for their children while
teething with perfect success. It *oothea the
child, soften* the ruiiih, allay* all pain, cure*
wind colic, and Is the beat remedy for diar
rhoea. It will relieve the poor little sufferer
Immediately Hold by I>rugRls«.K in every
part of the world. Twenty-five cents a bot
tle. Be sure and ask for" Mrs . Winslow's
Hoothlng Hymp," and take no other kinds.
- m ♦ -
The face made by Croker when
he swallowed Shepard, is said to
have been up to hin ugliest car
ricature.
When you have no appetite, do
not relinii your food and feel dull
after eating you may know that you
need a dose of Chamberlain’s Stom
ach aud Liver Tablets. Price, 25
cents. Samples free at the drug
stores of W. M. Bloss, Ceredo, aud
R. N. Williams, Kenova.
President Roosevelt don’t want
the White House enlarged. Proba
bly the present cramped quarters
remind him pleasantly of his
western “shack.”
Lewis Ockerman, Fosheu, Ind.:
‘‘DeWitt’s Little Early Kisers nev
er bend me double like other pills,
but do their work thoroughly and
make m« feel like a boy.” Cer-I
tain, thorough, geutle. W. M.
Bloss, Ceredo; R. N. William*,
Kenova.
— ■ — .. ■
Mr. Pepper has been sent as a
delegate to the Pan-American Con- I
gress. He ought to warm up the
discussion* somewhat.
■^--1 ■
KOu I
Dyspepsia Cure
Digests what you eat.
It artificially digest* the food and aids
Nature In strengthening and recon
structing the exhausted digestive or
gans. It Is the latest discovered digest
ant and tonic. No other preparation
can approach it In efficiency. It in
stantly relieves and permanently cures
r>v«i**p8ia, Indigestion, Heartburn,
Flatulence, Sour Stomach, Nausea,
81ck Headache,Oastralgia,Cramps and
all other results of-imperfect digestion.
Prics and tl. J,argn *1?* contain* times
■mail slue. Book all alx>utdyspepsia mallad free
Prepared by E. C. DeWITT A CO.. Chicago.
W. M. Bios*, Ceredo, W. Va.
JR. N. William e, Kenova, W Va
(OonMaued from Ihi P,«ge;.
have become uncomfortably warm
for the mermaids of «>nr household,
a tax of one gallon of circus lemon
ade.
Furthermore; The other acc'isa
tions vs. Mr. Hose, viz: approprat
ing the hinges of Davy Jones’ looker
and stealing the affections of all the,
ladies on hoard, the court decides
that he lie ordered to appear before
six of his peers in his own quarters
after our departure from the good
ship Thomas, and may the Lord
have mercy on his pink lemonade.
Given under our hand and seal
this Nth day of August 1001.
N KPT INK,
King of the Seas.
Finishing the proclamation and
looking around him to see that his
staff is properly arranged he in- j
struets his police to corral all the j
candidates and any who do not
willingly acquience to throw’ them
in irons.
Upon observation it may be
observed that “Crossing the Line’’
is a gruesome undertaking. There
stands the barber holding his razor
with its two foot blade shining like
a calcium light; by his side is the doc
tor arranging bis pills, instruments
and bandages. Here and there stand
attendants mixing tar, molasses, soap
and flour for lather, sharpening
scissors, rolling pellets, concocting
stimulants, and arranging shampoo
elixir with hose like attachments,
and at the far end a man carries a
placard giving the prices of their
exercises and holds a canteen of
smelling salts to revive the wounded.
The first victim, limp and pale, a
rash youth against whom Neptune
has a grievance for winking at Sali
cia, was called and staggered
forward. He was told to take
a position on the rail with his
hack to the sea. Upon being
questioned Neptune told him that
be occupied too exaulled a position
for a person w ho had never crossed
the line before. He ordered him
blindfolded, removed to the deck and
examined, w’hieh was immediately
done. The recording clerk came
forward and the doctor commenced
his work by testing bis senses.
Upon putting some salt in his mouth
he spat it out. Taste all right. Blew
a blast in his ear, and he moved his
head. Good. Feel his pulse. Bad.
lie needs bleeding. His forearm is
duly prepared and being scratched
w arm water is caused to trickle ]
down falling in a pan causing the
subject to become very weak from
loss of blood. Gives him some
nauseating dough pellets about the
size of a small egg to keep him from
fainting and sees that he swallows
them. During this process one of
the attendants happening to pass his
hand over the face remarks that he
needs shaving. Sure, shave him.
Certainly, cut his hair, too. Why
of course, shampoo him with comple
ments of the hemisphere. At this '
juncture, Neptune's deep voice is
heard “I^et the profane be placed
upon the rail and the exercises duly
performed.” He was accordingly
raised and placad upon his perch,
leaning well forward, as the idea is
still in bis mind that he was again on
the railing next to the sea, but in- 1
stead they had led him to the railing
on the main deck where the tank
was situated. The barber and at
tendants having gathered around he
was asked “How old are you?” In
tantly as he opened his lips to
speak the lather brush was stuck in
his mouth. It was thought that his
teeth were dirty, but upon exarnina
tiou he wan excused, an hin teeth
werejmostly false. Then hin face wan
lathered with the mixture. Hold
there, he in fainting! Hring the nmel
ling salts. They are placed to hin
none and an he leans forward to sniff
them, a pin placed in the cork in
jahhcd into hin none nearly causing
him to lone hin balance. The bar
ber proceeds to shave and drawing
the razor between hin thumb and
Huger.which leaven the lather on hi
ham! slings it into hin ear. Next
he in shingled and a hair invigorator
of molasses and tar in copiounly
plantered on his head. Then the
victim in asked by the sociable bar
ber “what country are you from?”
Again before he can more than open
his mouth, to answer the shampoo
hose in turned to hin mouth. After
\
I lie scales are piaqjvriy loosened up
with the hose he is tumbled back
ward into what he suppose* is the
sea, and as soon as he strikes the
water he begins to swim for all there
is in him, and wh* n he reaches the
side Neptune's police are ever ready
to tumble him back and duck him
again.
After several of the sailors were
initiated into the mysteries the
teachcers’ turn came, a time when
popularity cost a good ducking.
They commenced calling them, and
when they were not forth coming
instant search was made and they
were dragged upon the scene of
action to the enjoyment of all. So
passed the evening until Neptune's
wile having become tired of soaking
so in uch pedagogical enthusiasm
took the king of the seas by the arm,
and after excusing themselves bowed
and disappeared as they came, but
not before renewing the splice of the
main brace. 1 hen coines the grog
for all the tars. This is the exer
cise before which many a husky
voiced,bearded buccaneer ha* quell
ed and become as gentle as a child.
It was for this, 'tis said, that Na
poleon Bonaparte as the iron Fate
of Destiny closed round him w hen
he was crossing the equator on his
way to St. Helena, paid one hun
dred dollars to be excused.
This custom v\:n ti rst introducep
when crossing the 180th meridian
by the American soldiers on their
way to the Philippine*. It is the
most popular of the jolly Jack Tar
amusements, although “Dead Ilor e
Day” and “White Stocking Day”
arc very popular.
C. W. O’Brien.
Do you sutler from piles ? If so
do not turn to surgery for relief.
DeWitt’s Witch II azel Salve will
act more quickly,surely and safely,
saving you the expense and dan
ger of an operation. W. M. Bloss,
Ceredo; R. N. Williams, Kenova.
WTork, work, work, will have to
be the motto of the next Congress.
It it isn’t that it will be swelter,
swelter, swelter, ’long about next
J uue.
— -■ - —
The best preventative of anar
chism is the revival of true Ameri
canism—the respect for the law,
the righteousness of government
and the preference of what is true
over policies that are partial and
false.
James Gum has returned home
from Tacoma, Va.
iouivg Women
The entry Into womanhood la a I
critic*! time tor * girl. Little men
«tru*I disorder* started at that time soon
erow into fatal complications. That
female troubles are tilling graveyards
prove* this. Wine of Cardui estab
lishes a painless and natural menstrual
flow, when once this important func
tion Is started right, a healthy life will
usually follow. Man/ women, young
and old, owe their lives to Wine ot
Cardui. There is nothing like it to
tfve women freedom from pain and to I
fit young women for every duty of life.
$1.00 bottles at druggists.
Mbs Della M. Straycr, Tully, Kan.. M|
have suffered untold pain at menstrual pc.
rlods for a long time, was nervous, had no
appetite, and lost interest In everything.
In fact was miserable. I have taken four
bottles of Wine of Cardui, with Thedford**
Black-Draught, when needed, and to-day
I am entirely cured. I cannot express the
thanks I feel for what you have don*
for me."
for advice In nm iwjnlrln* special <Hroo>
tlons, addreae, airing symptoms, th* l.artiaa*
Advisory lw*partment, Tba Cbattan .<>*a M*d
Idee Company, Chattanooga, Tenn.
HUH
WILLIAM V'KINL&y.
HIS IJFK AND WORK,
BY
Oltf*. Of AM. H f> HOHVKNOH.
Prwldent’* life long Friend, Comrade In
war and Colleague In Congress, Wr« near
III* eld • with other great men when bin eye*
were closed In death. Followed the hler to
the National Capital and to Canton. The
Oeneral require* a *hare of the proceed* of
hi* hook to he devoted to a McK Inlev Monu
ment Fund. Thu* every aubscrlber Women
a contributor to thl* fund. .Million* of cop
ies will be *old. Kverylwafy will buy It Or
der* for the anklng. Nobody will refuac Ele
gant Photogravure Port rail, of President Mc
Kinley’* last picture taken at the Wntte
House. You can easily and qnlcklr Clear
ll,i*in taking order*. Order outfit quick.
Chance to privs *urcae, secure ye irly con
tract and heroine Manager. Bend 12 2 cent
stamp* for elegant prospectus. Taking 10 to
Vi orders dally 50,t**) copies will he sold In
this vicinity. Address,
THE CONTINENTAL ASHKMBLY,
Corcoran Bldg., Opp. U. B. Treasury,
20ct.-tkw Washington, Li. C.
)
FIRE INSURANCE!
piRK INSURANCE policies writ,
ten for the oldest and most respon
sible companies. Correctly written
policies and prompt payment of all
losses, is what has made oar agency
twipular. We pay the most careful
attention to our customers* interest.
T. T. McDOUGAL,
teredo, W. Va;
H H. KILGORE
Burial Cases and Caskets
of all Sizes. in Stock.
HEARSE Subject to order.
Stock kept in building on cor
ner of Band East Third Street,
Ceredo, W. Va.
Business represented by H. Wt
STEWART. AH orders promptly
attended to.
grand CHEAP EXCURSION
TO
BUFFALO
A.NH THE
Pan* A merican Expo’n,
TICKETS GOOD RETURNING
6 DAYS 6
-VIA
- c. & o, -
ROUTE
Round trip Tickets on sale each
Tuesday
<t;Q OH Goo<l 1«*avlnif Buffalo Sunday <t,rt nn
j Vw-tU following date of sale. h>9YU
I
1 lckets arc good in coaches only.
We also have the following other
1 rates in effect:
15 day ticket.* 13.55
20 day ticket.10.75
Season ticket'.18.25
Book at the schedule:
Leave Huntington 3:40 a nt I2:25p m.LOOp. m
Arrive Huffalo 7:30 p. nt. (>:lsa. nt 10:00 a. nt
Don’t miss this grand opportunitv
to visit
MAO A HA FALLS.
Call at tlie C. it O. Ticket Office,
or address,
Tiios. A. Gakrioan, S. E. P. A.,
Huntington, W. Ya.
THuma & Crowley .
TAILORS, DYERS AND
CLEANERS.
_
Ladies’ and Gentlemen's Gar
ments Cleaned, Dyed, Pressed and
Repaired.-Cleaned by the
New American Process without
the Slightest injury or shrinkage
to the goods. Dyed with the latest 1
Dye stuff that will not fade or rub
off. All cleaning and Dying done
under the Supervision of Mr. Thu- j
ma and all Tailoring doue under
the Supervision of Mr. Crowley.
LADIES JACKETS MADE TO ORDER
AND REMODELED.
845 4TH AVE. MUTUAL ’PHONE 225.
NOTICE.
Notice is hereby given that at a
meeting of the stock holders of the
< atlettaburg and Piketon Packet
Co. held at the law office of W. VV.
Marcum in the town of Ceredo, W.
Va.. on the 17th day of Sept. 1001,
a resolution was unanimously adopt
ed changing the name of said aom
pany to that of the Cando Peckct
Co. J. C'. IIoi'kinm, Pres.
Sept.25- 4 w.
For Salk.—'Two splendid heat
ing stoves -a hase-bnrner and a
Foster Air-tight—for sale. Inquire
| at this office.
I IMPORTANT!
To the people who visit
Huntington and expect to buy
anything in the line of
Clothing, Hats, and Men’s
Furnishing Goods.
Co to the Foster Building:
Corner 3rd Ave. and 9th St. to
A. Northcott & Co.,
The House That Will Please You.
Full Line of Woolens Here. Call Early.
You are cordially invited to make our store your
waiting; point for all street cars.
REDUCING STOCK With a View t>
SELLING OUT!
$20,030 stock oi Boots and Shoes
to be slaughtered.
You cau now buv ft man’s calf parent leather shoe for $2.98
former price $4.00 and $4.50; a few pairs of Banister’s and Tory
Curtis & Terrells, S5 (X) and $0 (X) shoes will go at $3.50: choice of all
patent kid shoes for ladies $3.00, regular prices $3.50 and $4.00. Ev
erything in our line will be cui in proportion, and rao9t things even
more than the above.
Come in and get Priees. You had just as
well save 50 cents to $1.50
on a pair of Shoes.
T. S. S61NL0N & GO
Corner Tenth Street and Third Avenue,'
Huntington, west Virginia.
COME TO*N»
OUU BIG S I'OUE* >
And secure what you need. We guarantee
all who deal with us to get the worth of
their money. We deal in Dry Goods,
Hoots and Shoes, Hats, Caps, Queens
ware, Glassware, Hardware, Notions,
Groceries and Furniture. We keep
anything to be found in a first-class
General Store. Goods delivered Free.
WRIGHT BROTHERS,
CEREDO, WEST
IMPROVED
NEW MODEL
Sewing Machines.
The Best You Ever Saw
for the Price.
—8TYLB 15—
(name an cut Id thin ad],
ONLY $10.50.
Onarmnteed for 10 roan*.
Supplies for all Sewing
Machines.
AOEISr'I? FOR TJETE J'E’W'ETT TYPEWRITER.
J. M. Clouston, 3^u"ntVnoton, w. va.
KENOVA TRANSFER C<L
KEXOVA, WEST VIMGIX1A.
Operating wharfboat
And River and Rail Transfer.
DEALER* IN —-1
Buckeye” Salt, “Marion” and “Fostona” White Lime, “Black Dia
mond” and Imported Cements, Glass, Nails, Flue Tile, Sewer
Pipe, Fire Brick, Fire Clay, Rock Plaster, Hair, Lath, Shingles,
Corn, Oats, Chop, Bran, Hay. Flour, Seeds and Coal.
LOW PRICES AXI) IJUICK DELIVERIES.
Rates and Time Tables furnished for Cincinnati and Pittsburg