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The Ceredo Advance. T. T. McDOl'QAL, Publisher C Kit EDO. : WEST VIRGINIA. ■ 1902 - '! 19C n*. trr» *» trc« rat. at. ;r .... i 7 3 4 : I 6 7 8 9 10 11121 !3 14 15 16 17 18 19:','; i 20 21 22 23 2-1 25 26 jii js 27 28 29 30 .... .... .... i!; : CUIIREKI TOPICS. An agitation for a "Greater Pitts burg” lias been started. Prince George of Prussia is the old est liilng 1 lohen/ollern. I he Gorlin lire department was called out 11.000 times last year. The lat.st London novelty is the "somersault cure" »or fat women. John 1). ItorlodVilor, jr., began to earn money when he was six years old. Canon Wilberforee. of London, ss*.vs that he sees in wireless telegraphy ail argument for pruy< r. In a heavy gale Atlantic waves are sometimes l.*» feet from trough to crest, and their crests 000 feet apart. The rotation of waterspout at the RiirlHcc ol tin* si a lias been estimated by Prof, itigeiow as .‘!f>l miles an hour, or nearly six miles a minute. Hon. Alfred Littleton. M P.. men tioned to succeed Lord Paun< vfob* ; s British ambassador at Washington, is n nephew of William Ewart Gladstone. Thomas C’ahill is the oldest living member of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery company of Itos«on. having celebrated his !»2d birthday recently. Gurrent Literature tells of a young* f ti*r who aptly defined a dachshund rs "one of those dogs that are a clog and a hall long and only half a dog lilah •* Smokeless powder, when blown into tissue at * In- *• quarters, causes less Pain and suppuration than hlnek pow der, and the grains are more easily remove d. The Inrg« st copper refining, works in the world is that nt Perth \mboy. \T. ^ • I- iftcen to eight*’* n million pounds ol copper iir*1 refined by electrolysis each month. Recent explorations in Egypt have unearthed tin* consecutive order of 17 kings, thus establishing a firm founda tion for the investigation of Egyp tian history. One hundred and seventy-three members of parliament have declared themselves in favor of the introduction of the metric system oT weights and measures into England. Daniel Wells, the wealthiest man in Wisconsin, who died recently, erected an •office building in Milwaukee of pure white gla/.cd terra cotta, the only one In the United States. In the four great capitals of Europe In the ton years from 1877 to 186*5 the smallpox deaths per lnn.nnn living were as follows: Vienna. (IT; Pat is. 28; London, 25; Berlin, 1. A salmon, recognized by exp* i ts to be a true “salmo salar." has been netted In the estuary of the Thames, off Leigh, and is to be preserved ami placed In the British museum. Each year it becomes increasingly difficult to secure lobster eggs along the New England coast. At the same time the number of lobsters taken eReh year does not greatly decrease. The largest family in Pennsylvania was born nt Mountain Top. near th** city, and still lives there. The moth er .Mrs. Samuel Swart wood, has borne 29 children and 22 of them are living. Samuel Hawson Mardiner. the Eng lish historian, recently decease*!, dc voted more than 40 years to pains taking researches for his history of the Stuarts, the great rebellion and the protectorate. John Dunfce, of Syracuse, N. Y bas been awarded the contra* t to build and equip a railroad among the fjords arid hills of northern Norway. He will be the first American * ontra* tor to construct a railway in Norway. Peter Hunt/, the millionaire of Day ton. O and Chicago, who recently an nounced that he intended to operate a cotton plantation with trained mon keys, now claims that he wa: only Joking when he made the tntenxnt. With th* consent of Secretary Hav the trustees of the John liny normal and industrial chool (lor colored youth) of Alexandria. Va.. have changed its- narru to the William M* Klniey nor trial arid industrial school. The first monument ever ere* te*l to a *o*ik Is about to be unveiled in Par Is. The * h**f In question is Urban Dubois, who labored in th*- Merman emperor s kitchen. So popular wa' he that his brother cooks have unit* *1 to do him honor. Key. Dr. .1 S. R Hodges, rector of St. Paul's. Baltimore, for 31 years cfTl* fated at over 25.0*40 services, ** |c brafed the holy eucharist 7.000 times, baptized l.&bh persons, confirmed over 1.200 and performed 390 marriage ceremonies It is stated that during the year 19**1 the pope figure*! as legatee In over 700 wills throughout the Catholic world, the aggregate amount thus left ♦o him being $600,000. The largest single legacy to his holiness was $30, 000. bequeathed to him by a wealthy Italian manufacturer, and the second THE HEAVENLY LIFE Its Splendors and Glories Presented by Dr. Talmage. Itm Activity A Inn Hrnujtbt Out-The luinurlul Half-Ilnur Wlirn Kvpr> thiiiK U nn Silent—\ alnalil* I' rnj; in«- ii tn uf Time. l(-op\ rl*;ht. 1902, l>y Louis Klopsch. N. Y.J In the followinq discourse, pre pared by Dr. Tulinupe before bis ill ness, a vi\id qlimpse of the splendors und plories of heavenly life is pre sented; text. Revelation \iii., 1: ” I here was silence in Heaven about the space of half an hour.” ’1 he busiest place in the universe is Heaven. It is the center from which all pood influences start; it is the poal at which all pood results arrive. The itiblc represents it as active with wheels and winps and orchestras and processions mounted or charioted. Rut my text describes n space when the wheels ceased to roll and the trumpets to sound and the voices to chant. The riders on the white horses reined in their elinrpes. The doxolopics were hushed and proces sions halted. The hand of arrest was upon ail the splendors. “Stop, Heav en!' cried an omnipotent voice, and it stopped. For JO minutes everythinq celestial stood still. “There was si lence in Heaven about the space of half an hour.” From all we can learn it is the only time Heaven ever stopped. It does not stop as other cities for the niqht, for there is no niqht there. It does not stop for ii plaque, for the inhabi tant never says: “I am sick.” It docs not stop f«>r bankruptcies, for its inhabitants never fail. It does not stop for impassable streets, for there are no fullinp snows or sweepinq freshets. What, then, stopped it for 30 minutes? tlrotiiis and Prof. Stuart think it was at the time of the de struction of Jerusalem. Mr. Lord thinks it was in the year 311, be tween tin* close of the Diocletian per secution and the beqinninq of the wars by which Constantine qained the throne. Hut that was all a quess. thouqh a learned und brilliant quess. I do not know when it was, and i do not care when it was, but of the fact that such an interreqnuin of sound took place I am certain. “There was silence in Heaven about the spree of half an hour.” omi, nrsT ot all. wo lenrn that (iod nu<l all Heaven then honored silence, i he longest and widest dominion tlmt ever existed is that over which stillness was fpicen. For an eternity there had not been a sound. World making was a later day occupation. For unimaginable ages it was a mute universe, (iod was tin* only Meing. nnd as there was no one to speak to there was no utterance. Rut that si lence has all been broken up into worlds, and it has become a noisy uni verse. Worlds in upheaval, worlds in •ongelation. worlds in conflagration, worlds in revolution. If geologists are right—and 1 be lieve they iire there has not been a moment *• f silence since this world began its travels, and tin* crushing vnd the splitting and the uproar and ■ he hubbub are ever in progress. Rut when among the supernals a voire Vied: “Hush! ’ and for half an hour Heaven was still, silence was hon ored. I he full power of silence many nt us have vet to learn. We are told hat when Christ was nrrnigned “He answered not a word.” That silence was louder than any 1 bonder that ?ver shook the world. Oftentimes >v hen vve nre assailed and misrepre sented the mightiest thing to say is -o s».v nothing and the mightiest thing to do is to do nothing. Those neople who are always rushing into print to get themselves set right nc v.inplish nothing but their own rhn rrin. Silence! Do right nnd leave ‘he results with God. Learn also from my text that Heaven must be an eventful nnd nc ive place from the fact that it could ifTord only ,'to minutes ,,{ recess. There have been events on earth and n Heaven that seemed to demand a whole day or whole week or whole fPHr for celestial consideration. If Irotius was right and this silence occurred at the time of the destrue ;ion of Jerusalem, that scene was so iwftil nnd so prolonged that the jn inbitants of Heaven could not hove Jone justice to it in many weeks. \fter fearful be^jegeinent of the two fortresses .,f Jerusalem. Antonin and Hippietis, had been going on for a °f^g while, a Itoiuaii soldier, mount ed on the shoulder of another I ber, hurled into the window of the tern pie a firebrand, and tin- temple ivn** all a fin me. ami after cove i Jug :nar»> sacrifices to the holiness ,,f >od the building it elf became a > ae rifb e to the rage »,f man. The him ger of the people in that city ♦lur ing the besiegeuient was so great that as some outlaws were passing n doorway and inhaled the odors of fond they hurst open the door, threatening the mother of the house hold with death unless site gave them ^onie food, nnd she took them aside and showed them that it was her own rhild she wn<- cooking for the ghastly repast. Six hundred priests were destroyed on Mount Zion be cause, the temple being gone, there was nothing for them to do. Six thousand people in one cloister were consumed. There were 1.100,000 dead according to Josephus. (Irotius thinks that this was the cause of silence in Heaven for half an hour. If Mr. Lord was right, and this silence was during the Diocletian per secutions, by which *14,000 Christians suffered death from sword and fire and banishment and exposure, w by did not Jleaven listen throughout at I J least one of those awful years? No! Thirty minutes! The fact is that the C'elestiul programme is so crowded with spectacle that it can afford only one recess in all eternity, ami that for a short space While there are great choruses in which ail Heaven can join, each soul there has a story of Divine mercy peculiar to itself, and it must he a solo. How can Heaven get through with all its reci tatives, with all its cantatas, with all its grand marches, with all its victories? Kternity is too short to utter all the praise. I n my text Heaven spared 30 min utes, but it will never again spare one minute. In worship in earthly churches where there are many to take part we have to counsel brev ity, but how will Heaven get on rap idly enough to let 144,000 get through each with his own story and then 144.000,000 and then 144,000,000,000 and ! then 144.000.000.000,000? Not only are ' all the triumphs of the past to lie commemorated, but all the triumphs to come. Not only what we now . know «<f (bid. hut what we will know , • *f Him after everlasting study of the deifie. If my text had said there was silence in Heaven for 30 days. I would not have been startled at ihe announcement, but it indicates 30 minutes. Why, there will be so many friends to hunt up, so many of the greatly good and useful that we will want to see, so many of the inscru table things of earth we will need explained, so many exciting earthly experiences we will want to talk over, and all the earthly spirits and all the other spirits and all the ages i : xv'i 11 want the snide, that there will j he no more opportunity for cessn- | (ion. llow busy we will be kept in having pointed out to us the heroes and heroines that the world never fully appreciated the yellow fever | and cholera doctors who died, not 1 flying from their posts; flu* female 1 ! nurses who faced pestilence in Ihe j lazarettos; the railroad engineers ; who stayed at their places in order i to save the train, though they them selves perished. Hubert flofiin, the master miner, who, landing from the bracket at the bottom of the mine just as he heard the waters rush in and when one jerk of the rope would have lifted him into safety, put in the bucket a blind miner who wanted to go to his sick child and jerked the rope for him to lie pulled up, crying; “Tell them tin* water has hurst in and we are probably lost, but we will seek refuge at the other end of the right gallery,” and then giving the command to the other miners till incy tugged incmseives so near out that tin* j.pie from tin* outside could come t«» their rescue. The mul titudes of men and women who got no crown tin earth we will want to see when they get their crown in Heaven. I tell you Heaven will have no more half hours to spare. Besides that. Heaven is full *.f chil dren. They are in the vast majority No child tin earth who amounts i«. anything can he kept quiet half an I hour, and how are you going to keep fi00.00n.000 of them quiet half an hour? You know Heaven is mud. more of a place than it was when . that recess of 30 minutes occurred. Its population lias quadrupled, st*\- ' tupled. centupled. Heaven lias more on hand, more of rapture, more »>T knowledge, more of intercommunica tion. more of worship. The most , thrilling place we have ever been in is stupid compared with that. and. if | we now have no Mine to spare, we I will then have no eternity to spare. ; Silence in Heaven ouly half tin hour! My subject also impresses me with I the immortality of a half hour. That i half hour mentioned in my text is more j widely know n than any other period in 1 the calendar of Heaven. None of the whole hours of Heaven is measured off. none of the years, none of the cen turies. Of tlie millions of ages past and the millions of ages to come not 1 one is especially measured off in the Jtible. Hut the half hour of mv text is ' made immortal. The only part ofeter- I nity that was ever measured by earth- ' l.v timepiece was measured by the min ute hand of my text. Oh, the half hours! I hey decide everything. ! am riot asking what you will do with the j ; years or months or days of your life, ! but what of the half hours? Tell me the history of your half hours and I will tell you the story of your whole ! life on earth and the story of your whole life in eternity. The right or wrong things you can think in 30 min ; ut* s. the right or wr*>ng things you car. wtv in 30 minutes, the right or j wrong things you do in 30 minutes are I glorious or baleful, inspiring or des ! perate. \gnin, m\ t*«*rf suggests a wav of 111 * I \ ing Heaven '■<> that we can better ! understand it. The word "eternity" that we can handle much is an iui- I measurable world. Knowing that we ' could ret understand that word, the i I’.ilde use- it only once. We say “for- 1 j ever .in*l <-\er." Hut how long is "for • ever in*l ever?" I am glad that tn\ : text puts under *>ur eye Ilcnvcn for j .0 minutes. \s when you seen great : i picture, you put a sheet of paper J into a scroll and look through it **r join volt! forefinger to your thumb and look j ; through 11 »• circle between, and the | picture becomes more intense. «*> this 1 ; masterpiece of Heaven by St. John is ! more impressive when we take only ■ 30 minutes of it nt a time. \<*w. we l have something that we can come j I nearer t«* grasping, and it is a quiet ' Heaven. When we discourse about the i multitudes of Heaven, it must be al- i most a nervous shock to those who have all their live* Irccn crowded by many people and who want a quiet Heaven. K*»r the pnst 30 years f have been much of the time in crowds and under public scrutiny and amid excite- ) ments, and I have sometimes thought 1 f«>r a few weeks after I reach Heaven f would like to go do An in some quiet part of the realm, with a few friends, and Xur a little while try comparative \ solitude. Then there are those whose hearing Is so delicate that they get no satisfaction when you describe the crash of the eternal orchestra, aAl they feel like saying, as a good woman in Hudson, N. Y., said after hearing me speak of the mighty chorus of Heaven: “Ihat must be u great Heaven, but what will become of my poor head?” \es, this lialT hour of my text is a still experience. “There was silence in Heaven for half an hour.” You will find the inhabitants all at home. Knter the King’s palace and take only a glimpse, for we have only 30 minutes for all Heaven. “Is that Jesus?” “Yes.” Just under the hair along His forehead is the mark of a wound made by a bunch of twisted brambles, and His foot on the throne has on the round ofllisinstepanother mark of a wound made by a spike, and a scar on the palm of the right hand and a scar on the palm of the left hand. Rut what a countenance! What a smile! What n grandeur! What n loveliness! What an overwhelming look of kindness anil grace! Why, He looks as if !!»• had redeemed a world! Hut come on. for our tfme is short. Do you see that row of palaces? That Is the Apostolic row. Do you see that long reach of architectural glories? Ihat is Martyr row. Do you see that immense structure? That is the big ghouse in Heaven; that is “the house of many mansions.” Do you see that wall? Shade your eves against it'' burning splendor, for that is the wall of Heaven, jasper at the bottom ard amethyst at the top. See this river rolling through the heart of the great metropolis? That is the river concerning which those who once lived on the banks of the Hudson or the Ala bama or the Rhine or the Shannon say; “We never saw the like of this for clarity and sheen.” That is the chief river of Heaven—so bright, r.o wide, so deep. But you ask: “Where are the asylums for the old?” I an swer: “The inhabitants are all young.” “Where are the hospitals for the lame?.rhey are all agile.” “Where are the infirmaries for the blind and deaf?” “They all see and hear.” "Where are the almshouses for the poor?’ "They are all multimillion aires.” “Where arc the inebriate asy lums?" “Why, there are no saloons.” “Where arc the graveyards?” “Why, they never die.” T’ass down those boulevards of gold and amber and sapphire and see those interminable streets built by the Architect of the I nivc*rse into homes, over the thresh old of which sorrow never steps ami out of whose w indow s faces, once pale with earthly sickness, now look rubi cum] with immortal health. *'Oh. let me go in and see them!” vott say. No. you cannot go in. There are those who would ne\er consent to let you come out again. You say: “Let me stay here in this place where they never sin. where they never suffer, where they never part.” No.no! Our lime is short, our 30 minutes arc al most gone. Conte on! We must get hack to earth before this half hour of heavenly silence breaks up, for in votir mortal state you cannot endure the pomp ami splendor and resonance when this half hour of silence is ended. The day will come when you ear. see Heaven in full blast, but not now. f am now • nly showing you Heaven at the dullest half hour <>f all the eterni ties. Come on! There is something in the celestial appearance which makes me think that the half hour of silence will soon be over. Yonder are the white horses being hitched to chariots, and yonder are seraphs fin gering harps as if about to strike tli cm into symphony, and yonder are con querors taking down from the blue halls of Heaven the trumpets of vic tory. Remember we are mortal vet and cannot endure the full roll of heavenly harmonies and cannot endure even the silent Heaven for more than half an hour. Hark! The clock in the tower of Heaven begins to strike, and the half hour is ended. Descend! Come back! Come down till your work is done. Shoulder a little longer your burdens. Fight a little longer vour battles. Weep a little longer your griefs. And then take Heaven not in it* dullest half hour, but in its might iest pomp, and, instead of taking it for 30 minutes, take it world without end. Hut how will you spend the first half hour of your heavenly eitizenship after you have gone in to stay? After your prostration before the tlirone in wor ship of Him who made it possible for you to get there at all ! think the rest of your first half hour in Heaven will be passed in receiving your reward if yon have been faithful. I have a strangely beautiful book containing the pictures of the medals struck by the F.ngllsh government in honor of great bn 11 !< ■ s. 'I hose tried a Is are pi ntied over the heart of the relumed heroes of the army on gnat occasions, the royal family present and the royal bands playing the Crimean medal, the medal of tlie mutiny, tlie Yictorin cross, t lie Waterloo medal. In your first half hour in Heaven in some wav vi u will be honored for the earthly struggles in which you won the day. Stand up before all the royal house of Heaven and receive the insignia while v«m are announced n« victor over the drafts and freshets f*f (lie farm field, victor over the temptations of the <-1oek exchange, victor over profession al allurements, victor over domestic infelic it ic -, victor over mechanic** shop, victor over thr storehouse, vie tor over home worrintents. victor over physical distresses, victor ov er hered itary depressions, victor over «in and death and hell. Take the badge that celebrates those victories through our Lord .lesn* f hrisf. Take it in the pres ence of all the galleries, saintly, an gelic or divine, while all Heaven chants: "These are they w ho e,a me out «if great tribulation and bad their robes washed and made white in tk» blood of the » a mb.” Thv sa!r#« Ir a’.I ’h.« rlnrP ;» . v 8hall rer r.’i-r though tli y C5c; Th.»> s* \ p- :r:umt h froir. ni .« Ar.fi *•.%* R rtjih ilwii >)• / THE SUNDAY SCHOOL. Leaaon In the International SfrlM for April III. IINI2—l’eter. Adieus and Uori-m. Prepared by II. C. Lcnington. THE LESSON TEXT. (Acts 9:32-43.) 32. And It came to pass, as Peter passed through)mt all quarters, he caine down also to the saints which dwelt at Lydda. 33. And there lie found a certain man named Aeneas, which had kept his bed eight years, and was sick or the palsy. 34. And l'eter said unto him: Aeneas, Jesus Christ muketb thee whole; arise, and make thy bed. And he arose im mediately. 33. And all that dwelt at Lydda and Saron saw him, and turned to the Lord. 36. And there was at Joppa a certain disciple rici.mi‘d T.tbilhu. which by inter pretittion is called Lorcas, tills woman w.i- full ol good works and almsdceds which she did. 37. A till it came to pass in those days, that site was Hick, and died, whom when they had washed, they laid her in an up per chamber. •*>*• And forasmuch as Lvdda was nigh to Joppa, and the disciple*- hud heard that l'eter was there, they sent unto • not delay to tome to them. 39 Then Peter arose and went with them When lie was come, they brought him into the upper chainbi r; and all tile widows stood by hint .weeping. and shewing the eouts and garments which Lorcas made, while she was with them. (o Hut l’eter put them all forth, and kneeled down, and prayid; and turn ng rum t<> the body said: Tabltha. arise. A nd she opened her eyes; and when she saw l'eter. she sat up 41. And he gave hi r his hand, and lift ed her up. and when he hud called the saints and widows, presented her nllvc. 4J. And it was known throughout all Joppa; and many believed in tiie Lord. 13 And It enmo to pass, that lit- tar ried many day-- In Joppa with one Simon :t tanner (■OLDEN TEXT. — Jesus ( lirlnt mu Let li tliee n hole.—ti’tN IlittJ, .V< *T ES A XL* COM M E NTS. building I ji of tin* Church.—Cndcr this head we will notice briefly: (I) that the churches had a brief respite from persecution: (2) that they (the membership) were being edified; (3) that they walked in the fear of the I.onl; (4) that they walked in the eom fort of the Holy (iliost, and (.*>) that they were multiplied. Persecution: can't hurt the church of Christ. Ibis is t lie unanimous voice <>f history. In fact, it has always helped Ihe church. bv weeding out the faint-hearted and those >vho are not entirely loyal and leaving tin* true disciples to give to ot her st l ong men a notable object les son in courage and loyalty to truth. Ibil the t i me of pi* rseen t ion is not tin* time of greatest growth in the church for the reason that the persecuted have not the same opportunity for open preaching, nor indeed the time for it. as in times of pence. I hi- first period of pence for the early church probably lasted four «»r five year-. During this period the ehure'u grew in knowledge and grace “were edified.” To “edif\” is literally to build. Ih ns the church u as “built” tip. not so much in the ma11cr of si/e or number of members, but built up in the \irtues and graces that go to make up Christian character. This wa- done thn ugh t he preach ing of t he upo-tles who told them of the life, death and resurrect ion of .lesus. The church grew also in the fear of tin* T.ord. This “fear” is not the “painfill emotion excited by a pprehension of danger. < r apprehem ion of bod’s "rath" as according to Webster, but reverence. It is ti c going about the ordinal" duties conscious of the per -ot;a! pro cnee ot (Sod. It our cotltvc i- a right one there is pleasure and comfort in the thought ihnt (Sort is ever near. “In the comfort of the Holy (.host expresses a further thought. .Inst before* His crucifixion Jesus had said (John 14:10, 17): “f will pray the Father, and lie* shall give you another ( omforter, that He may abide with you forever; even the spir it of truth.” It is here that the Chris tian man has the advantage of the man who i- not a Christian hut is try ing to live an upright life. The Chris tian possesses, or rather is possessed by. that inward Spirit of bod. aptly named by Jesus “the Comforter.” It most naturally follows from the fore going facts that this was a growing church, not only in the matter of grace, but also in numbers. The church multiplied in numbers, and it is not improbable that tin* number of churches, even, greatly increased. Healing of \rnens. Of \cnens we know little besides the fact that he was -ii k «>f the palsy (paralysis), and had been confined to his lied for eight long > cars. IVtcr did not heal this man it wa- the risen and ascended ,F»» -iis who healed him. for Peter said to him: “J**mis Ciiri-t mnkctli thee whole. \nd the iii.iu arose from his bed the tir-t lime in eight years. Pe ter mu-t have used this incident as a text for a -ernton. for we are told that all the town-folk “turned to the T.ord ” liaising of Dorcas Dorcas was a wn*nnt who had 1ic**#ime a dj-ciplc ,,f Jr-tis Mid she Ti\ «•»I in Joppa. £he wa- well known for her good work* and aim.-* givin *■. W«* a re told that - he fell -ink j.ml died. Peter wa« *ent for. titul he came, kneeled dow n and pray* d. Tt wa again thr power of bod made manifest in the giving of life. “\nd the la rd bod formed man of the flit-1 of I lie ground, and breathed into hi* not till the breath of life; s ml man became a lining -old.” bod gave life, bod I t e- life and («od nan restore Mb- lhis incident, t«».». wn- for the furtherance of the kingdom. for "man! helievetl In the T.ord." linin’* Morn Hln«t«. They who love melancholy |jw. In mi - cry. Hoeing from responsibility is hid ing from reward. Suffering fail*, when it .. „nt teach u long - iliTering. H.awn i- the onl\ place w Imre t here are no hypoerife*:. Common -cn-e is often but common sympathy with nil. When pro perify fall- ,.n the evd hear* it hut nourish#* it* weeds He who public,es I,:* .j„ cannot Claim the promise made to him who Confess#*.* if. T VrToaaam Cave the Words a Twtit, Everything was m readme**. The groom, beat man I • m nistei were gathered in the vestry. The organist began to play" and the minister started for the door. "Wait one moment, doctor," called the nervous groom, "is it the right or left hand the ring goes on?” "The left," hurriedly replied the min- i ister. ! "And. doctor, is—i* it kisstermary locus* the bride?' Philadelphia Time*. Deep Philosophy. | "Why is it?" he inured, while the lines of thought deepened on his countenance. "\N hy is it,” he continued, "that as *cou 1 as a man is on the top wave of populanty; 1 everybody wants to soak him?' Not until the listeners had argued the * matter among themselves and connected the l waves with the soaking did the true in wardness of his question dawn upon them.-— Baltimore American. Obliging. Guard—Now, then, miss, get in quuk, please. 1 he train is lust going to start! ,young Lady—But f want to give my «i»ter < a ki*s. i “Get in, 1'li see to that.”—Tit-Bit*. Ask To-Day for Allen's Foot-Ease. * It cures swollen, aching, tired feet. At all ( Druggists and Shoe stores. 2f*c. Sample sent Fkek. Address A. S Olmsted. Le Roy N. Y. J Only a lllrtl. i Nervous Ladv (ns a large bird fl;e« he- I fore the vessel)—Oh, captain, is that uu omen ? .Matter of-Fact Captain — No, madam; that is a seagull.—Judge. To Cure a Cold In One Day Take I *axat ;ve Bromo Quinine Tablets. All ^ druggist s refund money if it fails to cure.20c, Rank and riches are chains of gold, but l tdiil chains.—Kutiim. 4! * Establish) d • 50 Years. s tfl TRADE J MARK. :J : 20 MILLION BOTTLES : i • SOLO EVERY YEAR. 1, 0 From a ! parts of th- world come testimo- ? i 0 nials of the efficacy of * • St. Jacobs Oil ; • to conquer pain and relieve suffering. Itcur-s • H !• RHEUMATISM. NEURALGIA. BRUISES. • • BURNS. HEADACHES. SORE THROAT. • • CHEST COLDS. STIFFNESS. SORE- • • NEoS a-,d ail bodily aches and pains. No • I • other remedy has re-eived such er.dorc-- m • ments. and to-day ST. JACOBS OIL Is thee ly • f • proprietary medicine on earth which h .s t--n • • awarded the sui I Med- • 1 • als at the C ect World s Fair and Industrial • • Expositions. 0 1 : CONQUERS PAIN : f, • • • • • ® • S • o S «» « « © • P 9 C © 9 9 9 • • ( ABSOLUTE J SECURITY. I __ f Genuine Carter’s ! Little Liver Pills. j Must Bear Signature of , Sec Fac-Simile V\ tapper Below. IT ery amall a ad aa camy 1 to take ma a afar. I . CARTER'S FOR HEAOACHE. M FOR DIZZINESS. 1 ■ FOR BILIOUSNESS. Jl FOR TORPID LIVER. I FOR CONSTIPATION. 1 FOR SALLOW SKIN. FOB tmf r.flHPi r (inn [Me* I «£g»] OKNL’iAb MUrrilAVI t^SHATUIII. I>qrlT | 1 ill nnti nirgfTiuinehaTrna m-and |Wi«*oti bottom Notice i nr rente of tain in table below i jHWi==rH«IH,IWj Twin J»JO=^25»j75^>alrs. t Jm tmwUomihan Dout>lra ln four Veart e**J nrt ■a 1 . tIr"**>•»'t‘n In the wen*. ■I.ia'ji'th mm!.* f *° M.oe* flared mrtr >; f ,!,,J7 , ,•? 9° 5M * •* *> »T..h . i.f ottier mikH. are iZmn#JST 2* *00,, >I'FT Will omwear two o^'nwy »i uoan.t r.u>*«<oea. _ mart* of toe hast leather/, intludh g Patent Corona hid. Comma Colt, and Notional Pan gar 00 W .** *■***-?***—»■* *'»■>» *«•♦* HmIi net. •* •0 •'•III *d|» Mw" Mint to NHllri U. h<£* V Mira, t ai nI»k free. L fto'UlM. Wror>t«»,llaM. jy