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THE VOLCANO LUBRICATOR.
THE ORGAN OF THE WEST VIRGINIA OIL PRODUCERS. ........ GEORGE P. SARGENT, PUBLISHER Si PROPRIETOR VOL -. VOLCANO, WEST V A., TUESDAY, DECEMBER '6, 1873. NO. 28 Volcano Lubricator. Published every Tuesday ? BY? GEORGE P. SARGENT. OfRce: No. S, Raymond street. Subscription Rates: X)nc year, invariably in advance, ?2.co. 'Six months " " " " I. a?. Advertising Rates : "One Square, one insertion, ? a.co ifach additional " i.oo "One Square one year. 2S>0? 44 44 six months, 15.00 " 44 three months 10.00 "One Fourth Column one year, 40.00 " 44 six months, ' 30.00 44 44 three months,, so.oo One Half Column one year, 70.00 44 44 six months, eo.oo ?4 44 three months, 50.00 One Column one year, 140.00 44 44 six months. 90.00 44 44 three months, 70.00 T ocal notices 30 cents per line. Xo notice inserted for less than one dollar. All yearly advertisers pay quarterly in ad a 11c;. Parkersburfj Advertisements. JOHV A. HUTCHINSON, JR. DAVE P. JOHNSON. //6TCHINSON & JOHNSON, Attorneys and Counsellors at Lazv , Court Square. PARKKRS?UR<\ U\ V. SWANN HOUSE. ? B. Gilbert, Proprietor, Parkersburg. AV. Va. This isthe onlv first-class Hotel in Parkersburg. It is fitted up with all the modern improvements. Pure soft water is constantly supplied from Ohio River, and is lighted* with gas and heated with steam. Strict attention given to guests. It is head-quarters for oil men '71 ? tf. w M. II. BUSH, MERCHAXT TAILOR. Court Street, PARKERcBURG. WEST VA' Always keeps on hand a large and well se lected stock of the best of Cloths. Cassimcr* Vestin^s, &c. Suhs made to order and upon the snortestnoce. All work warranted. A a large spplyof Gent's Furnishing Goods al ways ou hand augV7i-xy. }. R. MF.HEN, I>X.\LEI< IN. Jroceries, Produce, And a full supply of fresh nsh and ovstcrs alwavs on hand. Market street, next to Market House. P:\rkersbuvg, \V. Ya. mav27*4t. jpDWARn BRAIDDN. PIOXEER TOBACCO WORKS FARKERSBL'RG. WEST VA. ^YM J>ILS, Kieit. Fire, Marine i(r Life Insurance Agent. Represents the following well km>wn an?.l popular Insurance Companies. Continental Ins. Co., of New York (Cash Assetts over Jz.ooo.ooo.) Home Ins. Co., of Columbus, Ohio. (Cash Assetts over $$70,000.) New York Life Ins. Co. New York, Cash Assetts ?.>o.ooo,ooo; an'l income $S,oco. o?.; Office on Market street, above Court Square, Parsburjr, W V*. uaryit, 1 J7URNITURE WARE -ROOMS | ? OF ? D. SCH/EFER, A nn St., Parkersburg. BEDSTEADS, SETTEES, SAFES. SOFAS. WARDROBES. BUREAUS, ROCKING-CHAIRS. EASY -CHAIRS. 'WRITING-DESKS, IMPROVED BUNDS, LOUNGES. CHAIRS, CPICTU RE-F RAM ES. PARLOR FURNITURE, MIRRORS OF ALL SIZES, &c., And every variety of articles usually kept | au a first class furniture store, manufactured j ard imported. All articles bought at this j store are warranted to be as represented whet: j -urchased. Any article manufactured 011 tf 1 shortest notice. apr.'O'j 1 -oru I 'TNIIS SPACE IS PAID FOR; BV THE WEST VA. 1 OIL & OIL LAND I COMPANY, IV ho are engaged so constant- I lg in SHIPPING OIL That they have not time to prcjuie [ an advertisement this week. Address, Petroleum, West l a. l*a rkersbu vy Ad vert i sem cuts. npiIL PLACE TO GET THE CHEAPEST AND BEST Groceries, Provisions, Grain and Pro duce, is at MARTIN & GILBERT'S, Market street, Parkersburg, W. Va HHHOMPSON & JACKSOj^j" Wholesale Grocers and Liquor Dealers, General Forwarding and Commission A/Je R C H A N T^ Coiner of Ann and Kanawha Streets, Parkersburg W. Ya. \Vc will forward all goods to Volcano promptly and in good condition from all points. Wc refer to Thomas Schilling & Co., the O'Brien Bros, and others. All goods consigned to our care will be forwarded without making i t necessary for the parties ordering, corres ponding with us. J. H. Stribling, DEALER IN HATS, , CAPS, BOOTS AND SHOES. AND GENTS FURNISHING Goods, Court Square, Parkersburg. West Va, april 20 iy. J W. HITESHEW Commission Merchant ? And Dealer in ? Flou Grain, Baled Hay, etc. Ground Feeds and Com Meal a Spec ialty. ANN STREET, PARKERSBURG, WEST VA. Mavu'jitt. T5URCHE& BUTCHER, DEALERS IN Hardware, Iron, Steel, Mails, Xuts, Bolts , Etc. Blacksmiths', Carpenters' and Coop ers' Tools. Belting and Packing, Fire Brick and Clay. Drill Ropes. Sand pump Ropes, and all kinds of cordage ? including WIRE ROPE, all sizes. Bungs, Tank iron, Rivets ana ail that is uecessar> lor the Oi! Trade, also a lull stock of WOODEN WARE; And the celebrated cutlery of Rogers' Wostenholin's, pocket and table. Also Drain Pii?i;s suitable for chim neys. CALL AND EXAMINE OUR STOCK. Court street, opp. 2d Nat. ftank, Parkersburg, W. Va. RUBRICATING OILSl L. D. KRAFT & CO.j I PRODUCERS AND DEALERS IX | WEST VIRGINIA NATURAL LUBRI CATING OILS. I I Safe Proprietors of I he Well Known j Ad If ess L. D. KRAFT & Co. J'arkaraburfj. l'a i'ket'sb it ry A dvevt iscm en ts. Fall & winter i873 S. NEWBERGER, Court St., Parkersburg, West V'a. Just returned from the Eastern cities with the most complete assortment of DRY GOODS, FANCY GOODS, NOTIONS EVER EXHIBITED IN TIIIS CITY, And h? very respectfully invites the citizens of Volcano and vicinity to call and examine his stock. An entire new stock of CARPETS, OIL CLOTHS, MATTINGS, RUGS, WINDOW BLINDS, BLANKETS, COMFORTS AND BED SPREADS. Orders received from Volcano will receive carefully attention, and prices guaranteed. When you come to Parkersburg do not tail to call and examine my goods. REMEMBER THE PL A CE ! ? SAM'L. XEWBERGE1! Pakkkksuckg, \V*.st Va. jN^OVELTY FOUNDRY ? AND? Machine Works. JOIIX COOK , Machinist! Blacksmith Engines, Saw Mills, Stave Machines, etc., generally on hand. S'nafting, Pulleys, Hangers, and all kinds of Machinery, made to order on siiort notice. 1IEAVV & LIGHT CASTINGS, HEATING STOVES, &e. Oil Well Tools of best brand of Iron. Prompt attention paid to Repairs. Kauam.vha St , bet. Market and Juliana Streets , rARKERSBURG, W. VA. SAug73tl" rpiIE MAMMOTH NEW FURNITURE W A RE-ROOMS W.H.WARNE& CO. Market St., L'arkcrsbary, OKI placc, below Market House) is now open. Those who arc desirous of purchasing Superior Furniture ? at ? Reasonable Priees Cannot do better than examine the work at this establishment, before making their selections. cvay 1 r.quirics l>y mail promptly answered, j Their Stock complete, comprised in part ol Marble ami Wood Top Cffi"Tal)les and Stands, Ladies' and Gentlemen's Qf Writing Desks, ;*?~Lotzs Patent Spring Bed Lounge, ?3?" Wardrobes and Bookcases. j3T*Ca:np and Easv Chairs, Z-?/" Bureaus and Sideboards. Refrigerators ?3?" W indow Shades. ?ALL KINDS OF ? COFFINS Constantly on hand. We :itt prepared to manufacture to onf<!i anything in our line, in the very best style. We ha?e none but lirst-class workmen, and all responsible orders from Volcano and \ i i initv, will be proinptlv filled, and goods warranted as represented. ????** Remember the //ffrr.jgJ PARKF.RSBLRG, WEST VA. Juntic ;itf. 1858, 1873, I.G. BLACKFORD, Forwarding and Commission JIIJItCJIAXT. Pork-packcr. and curer of the celebrated bonds ?il' Marvlaud Sugar Cured Ilams, and Shoulders and breakfast iiacon. ? DKALKK IN? stiple and Fancy (iroccries. Provisions. I?i(|. it:>rs. \rgosv and othvt choice brands of tlour Ai enr for Pomeroy Salt Co. Pomeroy Iron 1 Co'.-.. Nails. Louisville Lime and Cement, I Xcuia Powder Co. Ac. ?Vc. Ann Stn.it, above Court, Parkcrsburj;. ' Wv>t Va. ni.ivt>-om Poetry. LUKE. (In the Colorado Park, 1S73.) BY DUET IIARTE. Wot's that vou're readin'? ? a novel? A novel ? well darn my skin! You a man grown and bearded and liistin' such stuff ez that in? Stuff about gals and their sweethearts! No wonder you're thin ez a knife. Look at ine! ? cJar two hundred? and never read one in my life! That's my opinion o' novels. Anil ez to their lyin' round here, Thi-y belonged to the Jedge's daughter ? the Jcdge who came up last year On account of his lungs and the mountains and the balsam o' pine and lir: And his daughter ? well, -lit- read novels, and that's what's the matter with her. Yet she was sweet on the Jcdge, and stuck by him day and night, Alone in the cabin up yer? till she grew like a ghost, all white. She wus only a slip of a thing, ez light and ez up and away Ez rifle smoke blown through the woods, but she wasn't my kind ? no way! Speakin' o' gals, d'ye mind that house on yon rise the hill, A mile and a half from White's, .and jist a bove Mattingly's mill? You do? AVell, now tiiak'S a gall What. you saw her? O, ''01110 now, thar quit! She was only bedevlin' you bovs, lor to me she don't cotton one bit. Now she's what I call a gal? ez pretty and plump ez a quail; Teeth ez white ez a hound's, and they'd go through a tenpenny nail; Eyes that kin snap like a cap. So she asked to know "whar I was hid." She did? O, it's jist like her sass, for she's peart as a Katy-did. But what was I talkingof ?? O! the Jedge and his daughter? she read Novels the whole day long, and I reckon she read them abed, And sometimes she read thein out loud to the Judge on the porch where lie sat, A id 'twas how "Lord Augustus" said this, and how "Lady Blanche" she said that. IJut the sickest of all that I heerd was a yarn that thev read 'bout a chap, "Leather-stocking" by name, and a hunter chock full o' the greenest o' sap; And they asked me hear, but 1 says, "Miss Mable, not any for 111c; When l.'il:es I kin fliitg my own lies, mid thct chap and I shouldn't agree." Yet somehow or other she was always savin' 1 brought her to mind Of folks about whom she had read, or sut* in' belike of thct kind, And thar warn't no end o' the .names that she give me that summer up here, "Hobin Hood," "Leather-Stocking," "Hob Roy," ? I), I tell yon, the critter was queer. And vet ef she hadn't been failed, she was harmless enough in her way, She could jabber in French to her dad, and the_\ sai?l that she knew how to play; And she worked me that shot-pencil up thar ? which the man doesn't live ez kin use. And slippers? you see 'em down yer? ez wo'd cradle an injin's pappoose. ? ct along o' them novels, you see, she was wastin ' and inopin' i way. And then she got shy with her tongue, and at last had nothiii* to say; And whenever 1 happened around, her face it was hid by a book. And it warn't until she left that she give me ez much ez a look. And this was the way it was: it was night when I kem up here To sav to 'cm all "good-bye," for 1 reckoned to go for deer At ''sun up" the day they left. So 1 shook 'cm all round by the hand, 'Cept Mabel, and she was sick, cz they give me to understand. But jist ez I passed the house next morning at dawn, some one, Like a litt.c wuver o' mist, ?ol up on the hill with the sun; Miss Mabel it was, alone ? all wrapped in a ; mantle o" lave ? And she stoed thcro straight in the road, with I a touch o' the sun in her face. And she looked me right in the eye? I'd seen Siithiu' like it beiore When 1 limited a wi.uiidcd due to the edge o' the Clear Lake shore. And I had my knee on its neck, and jist was raisin' my knilc When it give me a look like that, and? well, it ^ot o:T with its life. "We arc going to-day," she said, "and I thought 1 would say good-bye To you in your own house, Luke? these woods and the bright blue sky! You've ahvavs been kind to us, l.ukc, and ;<a pa has found you still As xood as the air he breathes, and whole some as Laurel Tree Hill. "And we'll always think of you, Luke, as the thing we could not lake away; The balsam that dwells in the woods, the rainbow that lives in the spray. And you'll sometimes think of aiK, Luke, a* you know you once used to say, A rille smoke blown through the woods, aj moment, but never to stay." And then we shook hands. She turned, bul a-suddiut she tottered and tell, And 1 caught her sharp by the waist, and held > her a Minit ? well, It was only a minit, you know, that en col J ' and ez white she 1 ty Ei a snow-flake here on breast, and then? | well, she melted away ? And wa? gone. * * * And thar are her books; but t says not any for me; Good enough, nt i.v be for sonic, but tbeui jui) 1 might. i"l ague. Tlicy spiled a dccent ga! es iniglit hcv made somi chap a wife. And look at inc! ? elar two hundred ? and nev er read one in my life. About Mothers-in-Law? The Pain ful History of one of them, with the Doings of an Intelligent Cow. A mother-in-law is not generally counted a sweet boon. She is an ex asperation before she becomes a moth er-in-law. In t lie ante-nuptual pe riod, when sitting with Mary Jan* in t he square room with the light com fortably turned down, what could be more rasping than to have the old lady come in without warning, on the flim sy pretext of getting a book, and sur veying you with a cold searching eye, as though she knew you were contem plating running away with !he girl that very night, and suspected that you had her trunk concealed some where about your person! Then after marriage to have her come and kindly take the direction of your house. A friend of mine, whose name was James Peter Parkinson, married the uaughtcr of a widow, who owned a beautiful farm a mile or so away from the village. James Peter was the hap piest man in the world, as he had a right to be. Ilis wife was one of six beautiful girls, and was as cliarming a woman as possible. J. I', took a neat cottage, furnished it nicely, and set out for a long and pleasant life. (If course his mother-in-law kindly superintended the arranging of his house, and at the conclusion, surveyed it calmlv and with a pleased >ook. "There is one thing now that you want," said she. "V0.1 have a pleas ant house, an cxccllant cellar, and Mary Jane is a superb butter-maker. But of what avail is her skill if you have no cow? Don't say to me that you have not the means to buy a cow ? I know that. I shall gift you one ? Amos will drive it down to-morrow.'' Mary Jane cast a pitifully appealing look at her mother, but James Peter took her by the hand and was profuse in thanks. Who was r:ght. J P. or his wife? ? Had J P. only known? but I antici pate. Amos did drive the cow down the next day, and J. P. was in cxtacie* over her. Such a beautiful animal! ? So sleek, so linelv proportioned, so in telligent and sof: an eye, so ? so ? well, she was all that a cow could be in ap pearance. James Peter Parkinson put her in a pasture lie had secured for the purpose, and retired to rest dreaming of cows anp their accompaniments. That night he swam in rivers of milk, rest ing when tired 011 islands of fresh but ter. < Gailv he awoke in the morning, and with his pail in hand, hied him forth to the field, charging Mary Jane to go and get a churn the first thing after breakfast. A spasm of pain passed over her beautiful face as he started, but he did not notice it. Why is not the connection between two loving souls more perfect? Ah, why, indeed! It is a mystery. James Peter went to the field, and looked for his cow in vain. He called, but she answered not again. He ex amined, and lo! six lengths of the rail fence was prostrate. It was explain ed. Wicked boys had torn the fence down, and the inr.occnt cow had walk ed away. He searched all the day for her, but found her not. In the afternoon, Man Jane suggested that probably she had gone back to I he farm from whence bhc came, and immediately burst into tears. James Peter went to (he farm, and found her there. His mother-in luw then told him what he did not know before, that cows always did come home till they got "wonted" to a new place; and that Maria, her young est daughter, who was to commence going to school in (own, would, if he had no objection, take dinners at his house. James was a very poor lawyer with no practice, but couid he refuse this from a mother in-law who had given him a cow? He gladly assent ed, and insisted that when it rained, or was too warm, she should stay r 11 the time. The next morning he went out to milk his cow, and, as before, she was not there. Again he built up six sec tions of prostrate rail fence; again he went to the farm, and again he found her there. "She will get wonted,'' said the mother; "and Maria is at your house now." It is unnecessary to go through the wekening detail. 1 or two weeks ihi> ?wretched man went out everv morn ing to milk that cow, and fourteen times did he find sections of fencc down, but no cow. Fourteen times did he walk out to that farm, and find her there, milked every time, and four teen times did he drive her back. Ma ria, in the meantime, had taken up her quarters regularly at his house, and she had a good healthy appetite. Discouraged and disheartened on the fifteenth day, he sought a brother in-law who lived in the same village. "Is there no way, Filkins, of keep ing that blasted cow in a pasture lot?" Filkins fixed him with his eye, and answered : ?'James Peter Parkinson, I will let you into a sccret, though I ought not to. The old lady, is probably, the meanest. closest, most penurious, par somonious, stingiest, scraping, grind ing, vellow-faced old female miser that ever lived. I would like to say some thing disagreeable about her, but re spect for my wife restrains me. It is customary in these parts for the moth er of a bride, if she be a farmeress, to give her daughter a cow; but bless your, our mother-in-law would as soon think of selling her soul as to part with the hair of one. That cow is the son in law cow. It is an educated cow. The old lady trained that cow to come home every night. J>hc gave it first to Smith, who married Ellen; the eldest, and on the strength of the gift, boarded Hannah at his house. ? Jones, who married Hannah, had it next, and on the strength of it, Susan, my wife, got a summer with him. ? Then I had her, and Mary Jane, your l wif;, was quartered on me. Now you have her, and Maria is at your house. Her husband will have her, and then Hattie's husband. It is a long-lived cow, and will will probably run thro' the entire family. The cow, you will observe, is milked regularly by the old lady, while you pasture her. She can't be kept any more than quicksil ver can be held. You will (as your predecessors have done) give it up, and the old lady will have her till her next daughter is married, and her hus band will go through the same firce. She thus observes the custom, gets credit for liberality with us, and saves expenses at the same time.', Then James Peter Parkinson swore a mighty oath. "The husbands of 1 Iaria and Hattie shall not be blighted as I have been. ? They shall be spared that cow. I will go now and kill her. I will sell the hide, horns, and tallow, and divide the beef among four injured men." Then up spoke F lkim: "How long have you had her?" "This is the fifteenth day." "I thought so. You won't find her. That cow is educated, as I said. The old lady knows how long patience en dures. Fourteen days she goes home, just before the evening milking time ? the ancient scourge has figured i: down, that an average man would be apt to go for that cow with an axe on the fifteenth. Therefore, that super naturallv intelligent cow gets away on the fifteenth day, at about ten in th.i morning. You will not find her, James Peter." It was true, the cow had gone. And James Peter Parkinson, with Maria on liis hands, the girl having a good ap petite, is buying inilk and butter. Is theie a man who can successfully cope with a mother-in-law? James Peter Parkinso \ vows that the hus band of Maria, when Maria comes to have r. husband, shall be Informed of the cow, and that the cow shall be kill ed the moment Amos reaches the pas ture with it. lie vows to circumvent the miserly mo:her-in-law, and the diabolically intelligent cow, if he de votes an entire life to it. But he will not ? no man ever did. So there will be gloom in the house, I coldness at his heart, and a blight on his life. It is sad. pKTKOMil'M V. NASBY. - 4 ? ? As an illustration of the widespread use of a certain popular title, it is re lated that a gentleman recently step ped into a saloon in Denver, and cried out, in a loud, cheery tone: '?Hello! Come, professor, take a drink !"' Six men sitting in the saloon at once arose and came forward, while a boot black. whose stand was just outside ' the door, and a passing corn doctor, ' smilingly accepted the imitation, and | stepped in. A pious paper lies on mjr iatole, ou the Iron I page of ultlc!i uc note ; "Sketches in Ruuvj ? by (>? ? May j lie *o. my luil. may be so; but thcit'*> no u:?v ol bciny .o emphatic a!.>uiil i|,'"