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The Volcano lubricator. (Volcano, W. Va.) 1871-1879, December 16, 1873, Image 1

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THE VOLCANO LUBRICATOR.
THE ORGAN OF THE WEST VIRGINIA OIL PRODUCERS. ........ GEORGE P. SARGENT, PUBLISHER Si PROPRIETOR
VOL -. VOLCANO, WEST V A., TUESDAY, DECEMBER '6, 1873. NO. 28
Volcano Lubricator.
Published every Tuesday
? BY?
GEORGE P. SARGENT.
OfRce: No. S, Raymond street.
Subscription Rates:
X)nc year, invariably in advance, ?2.co.
'Six months " " " " I. a?.
Advertising Rates :
"One Square, one insertion, ? a.co
ifach additional " i.oo
"One Square one year. 2S>0?
44 44 six months, 15.00
" 44 three months 10.00
"One Fourth Column one year, 40.00
" 44 six months, ' 30.00
44 44 three months,, so.oo
One Half Column one year, 70.00
44 44 six months, eo.oo
?4 44 three months, 50.00
One Column one year, 140.00
44 44 six months. 90.00
44 44 three months, 70.00
T ocal notices 30 cents per line.
Xo notice inserted for less than one dollar.
All yearly advertisers pay quarterly in ad
a 11c;.
Parkersburfj Advertisements.
JOHV A. HUTCHINSON, JR. DAVE P. JOHNSON.
//6TCHINSON & JOHNSON,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Lazv ,
Court Square. PARKKRS?UR<\ U\ V.
SWANN HOUSE. ? B. Gilbert,
Proprietor, Parkersburg. AV. Va. This isthe
onlv first-class Hotel in Parkersburg. It is
fitted up with all the modern improvements.
Pure soft water is constantly supplied from
Ohio River, and is lighted* with gas and
heated with steam. Strict attention given
to guests. It is head-quarters for oil men
'71 ? tf.
w
M. II. BUSH,
MERCHAXT TAILOR.
Court Street, PARKERcBURG. WEST VA'
Always keeps on hand a large and well se
lected stock of the best of Cloths. Cassimcr*
Vestin^s, &c. Suhs made to order and upon
the snortestnoce. All work warranted. A
a large spplyof Gent's Furnishing Goods al
ways ou hand augV7i-xy.
}. R. MF.HEN,
I>X.\LEI< IN.
Jroceries, Produce,
And a full supply of fresh nsh and
ovstcrs alwavs on hand.
Market street, next to Market House.
P:\rkersbuvg, \V. Ya. mav27*4t.
jpDWARn BRAIDDN.
PIOXEER
TOBACCO WORKS
FARKERSBL'RG. WEST VA.
^YM J>ILS,
Kieit. Fire, Marine i(r Life Insurance
Agent.
Represents the following well km>wn an?.l
popular Insurance Companies.
Continental Ins. Co., of New York
(Cash Assetts over Jz.ooo.ooo.)
Home Ins. Co., of Columbus, Ohio.
(Cash Assetts over $$70,000.)
New York Life Ins. Co. New York,
Cash Assetts ?.>o.ooo,ooo; an'l income $S,oco.
o?.;
Office on Market street, above Court Square,
Parsburjr, W V*.
uaryit, 1
J7URNITURE WARE -ROOMS |
? OF ?
D. SCH/EFER,
A nn St., Parkersburg.
BEDSTEADS, SETTEES,
SAFES. SOFAS.
WARDROBES. BUREAUS,
ROCKING-CHAIRS. EASY -CHAIRS.
'WRITING-DESKS, IMPROVED BUNDS,
LOUNGES. CHAIRS,
CPICTU RE-F RAM ES.
PARLOR FURNITURE,
MIRRORS OF ALL SIZES, &c.,
And every variety of articles usually kept |
au a first class furniture store, manufactured j
ard imported. All articles bought at this j
store are warranted to be as represented whet: j
-urchased. Any article manufactured 011 tf 1
shortest notice. apr.'O'j 1 -oru I
'TNIIS SPACE
IS PAID FOR;
BV THE
WEST VA. 1
OIL & OIL LAND I
COMPANY,
IV ho are engaged so constant- I
lg in
SHIPPING OIL
That they have not time to prcjuie [
an advertisement this week.
Address,
Petroleum, West l a.
l*a rkersbu vy Ad vert i sem cuts.
npiIL PLACE TO GET
THE CHEAPEST AND BEST
Groceries, Provisions, Grain and Pro
duce, is at
MARTIN & GILBERT'S,
Market street, Parkersburg, W. Va
HHHOMPSON & JACKSOj^j"
Wholesale Grocers and Liquor
Dealers,
General Forwarding and Commission
A/Je R C H A N T^
Coiner of Ann and Kanawha Streets,
Parkersburg W. Ya.
\Vc will forward all goods to Volcano
promptly and in good condition from all points.
Wc refer to Thomas Schilling & Co., the
O'Brien Bros, and others. All goods consigned
to our care will be forwarded without making
i t necessary for the parties ordering, corres
ponding with us.
J. H. Stribling,
DEALER IN
HATS, , CAPS, BOOTS AND
SHOES. AND GENTS FURNISHING
Goods, Court Square, Parkersburg.
West Va, april 20 iy.
J W. HITESHEW
Commission Merchant
? And Dealer in ?
Flou Grain, Baled Hay, etc.
Ground Feeds and Com Meal a Spec
ialty.
ANN STREET,
PARKERSBURG, WEST VA.
Mavu'jitt.
T5URCHE& BUTCHER,
DEALERS IN
Hardware, Iron, Steel,
Mails, Xuts, Bolts , Etc.
Blacksmiths', Carpenters' and Coop
ers' Tools.
Belting and Packing,
Fire Brick and Clay.
Drill Ropes. Sand pump Ropes, and
all kinds of cordage ? including
WIRE ROPE,
all sizes.
Bungs, Tank iron, Rivets ana ail that
is uecessar> lor the Oi! Trade, also
a lull stock of
WOODEN WARE;
And the celebrated cutlery of Rogers'
Wostenholin's, pocket and table.
Also Drain Pii?i;s suitable for chim
neys.
CALL AND EXAMINE OUR
STOCK.
Court street, opp. 2d Nat. ftank,
Parkersburg, W. Va.
RUBRICATING OILSl
L. D. KRAFT & CO.j
I
PRODUCERS AND DEALERS IX |
WEST VIRGINIA
NATURAL LUBRI
CATING OILS.
I
I
Safe Proprietors of I he Well Known j
Ad If ess L. D. KRAFT & Co.
J'arkaraburfj.
l'a i'ket'sb it ry A dvevt iscm en ts.
Fall & winter i873
S. NEWBERGER,
Court St., Parkersburg, West V'a.
Just returned from the Eastern cities with
the most complete assortment of
DRY GOODS,
FANCY GOODS,
NOTIONS
EVER EXHIBITED IN TIIIS CITY,
And h? very respectfully invites the citizens
of Volcano and vicinity to call and examine
his stock. An entire new stock of
CARPETS,
OIL CLOTHS,
MATTINGS,
RUGS,
WINDOW BLINDS, BLANKETS,
COMFORTS
AND
BED SPREADS.
Orders received from Volcano will receive
carefully attention, and prices guaranteed.
When you come to Parkersburg do not tail to
call and examine my goods.
REMEMBER THE PL A CE ! ?
SAM'L. XEWBERGE1!
Pakkkksuckg, \V*.st Va.
jN^OVELTY FOUNDRY
? AND?
Machine Works.
JOIIX COOK ,
Machinist! Blacksmith
Engines, Saw Mills, Stave Machines,
etc., generally on hand.
S'nafting, Pulleys, Hangers, and all
kinds of Machinery, made to
order on siiort notice.
1IEAVV & LIGHT CASTINGS,
HEATING STOVES, &e.
Oil Well Tools
of best brand of Iron.
Prompt attention paid to Repairs.
Kauam.vha St , bet. Market and Juliana
Streets ,
rARKERSBURG, W. VA.
SAug73tl"
rpiIE MAMMOTH
NEW FURNITURE
W A RE-ROOMS
W.H.WARNE& CO.
Market St., L'arkcrsbary,
OKI placc, below Market House) is now open.
Those who arc desirous of purchasing
Superior Furniture
? at ?
Reasonable Priees
Cannot do better than examine the work at
this establishment, before making their
selections.
cvay 1 r.quirics l>y mail promptly answered, j
Their Stock complete, comprised in part ol
Marble ami Wood Top
Cffi"Tal)les and Stands,
Ladies' and Gentlemen's
Qf Writing Desks,
;*?~Lotzs Patent Spring Bed Lounge,
?3?" Wardrobes and Bookcases.
j3T*Ca:np and Easv Chairs,
Z-?/" Bureaus and Sideboards.
Refrigerators
?3?" W indow Shades.
?ALL KINDS OF ?
COFFINS
Constantly on hand.
We :itt prepared to manufacture to onf<!i
anything in our line, in the very best style.
We ha?e none but lirst-class workmen, and
all responsible orders from Volcano and \ i
i initv, will be proinptlv filled, and goods
warranted as represented.
????** Remember the //ffrr.jgJ
PARKF.RSBLRG, WEST VA.
Juntic ;itf.
1858, 1873,
I.G. BLACKFORD,
Forwarding and Commission
JIIJItCJIAXT.
Pork-packcr. and curer of the celebrated
bonds ?il' Marvlaud Sugar Cured Ilams, and
Shoulders and breakfast iiacon.
? DKALKK IN?
stiple and Fancy (iroccries. Provisions. I?i(|.
it:>rs. \rgosv and othvt choice brands of tlour
Ai enr for Pomeroy Salt Co. Pomeroy Iron 1
Co'.-.. Nails. Louisville Lime and Cement, I
Xcuia Powder Co. Ac. ?Vc.
Ann Stn.it, above Court, Parkcrsburj;. '
Wv>t Va. ni.ivt>-om
Poetry.
LUKE.
(In the Colorado Park, 1S73.)
BY DUET IIARTE.
Wot's that vou're readin'? ? a novel? A novel
? well darn my skin!
You a man grown and bearded and liistin'
such stuff ez that in?
Stuff about gals and their sweethearts! No
wonder you're thin ez a knife.
Look at ine! ? cJar two hundred? and never
read one in my life!
That's my opinion o' novels. Anil ez to their
lyin' round here,
Thi-y belonged to the Jedge's daughter ? the
Jcdge who came up last year
On account of his lungs and the mountains
and the balsam o' pine and lir:
And his daughter ? well, -lit- read novels, and
that's what's the matter with her.
Yet she was sweet on the Jcdge, and stuck by
him day and night,
Alone in the cabin up yer? till she grew like
a ghost, all white.
She wus only a slip of a thing, ez light and ez
up and away
Ez rifle smoke blown through the woods, but
she wasn't my kind ? no way!
Speakin' o' gals, d'ye mind that house on yon
rise the hill,
A mile and a half from White's, .and jist a
bove Mattingly's mill?
You do? AVell, now tiiak'S a gall What.
you saw her? O, ''01110 now, thar quit!
She was only bedevlin' you bovs, lor to me
she don't cotton one bit.
Now she's what I call a gal? ez pretty and
plump ez a quail;
Teeth ez white ez a hound's, and they'd go
through a tenpenny nail;
Eyes that kin snap like a cap. So she asked
to know "whar I was hid."
She did? O, it's jist like her sass, for she's
peart as a Katy-did.
But what was I talkingof ?? O! the Jedge and
his daughter? she read
Novels the whole day long, and I reckon she
read them abed,
And sometimes she read thein out loud to the
Judge on the porch where lie sat,
A id 'twas how "Lord Augustus" said this,
and how "Lady Blanche" she said that.
IJut the sickest of all that I heerd was a yarn
that thev read 'bout a chap,
"Leather-stocking" by name, and a hunter
chock full o' the greenest o' sap;
And they asked me hear, but 1 says, "Miss
Mable, not any for 111c;
When l.'il:es I kin fliitg my own lies, mid thct
chap and I shouldn't agree."
Yet somehow or other she was always savin'
1 brought her to mind
Of folks about whom she had read, or sut* in'
belike of thct kind,
And thar warn't no end o' the .names that she
give me that summer up here,
"Hobin Hood," "Leather-Stocking," "Hob
Roy," ? I), I tell yon, the critter was queer.
And vet ef she hadn't been failed, she was
harmless enough in her way,
She could jabber in French to her dad, and
the_\ sai?l that she knew how to play;
And she worked me that shot-pencil up thar ?
which the man doesn't live ez kin use.
And slippers? you see 'em down yer? ez wo'd
cradle an injin's pappoose.
? ct along o' them novels, you see, she was
wastin ' and inopin' i way.
And then she got shy with her tongue, and at
last had nothiii* to say;
And whenever 1 happened around, her face it
was hid by a book.
And it warn't until she left that she give me
ez much ez a look.
And this was the way it was: it was night
when I kem up here
To sav to 'cm all "good-bye," for 1 reckoned
to go for deer
At ''sun up" the day they left. So 1 shook
'cm all round by the hand,
'Cept Mabel, and she was sick, cz they give
me to understand.
But jist ez I passed the house next morning at
dawn, some one,
Like a litt.c wuver o' mist, ?ol up on the hill
with the sun;
Miss Mabel it was, alone ? all wrapped in a ;
mantle o" lave ?
And she stoed thcro straight in the road, with I
a touch o' the sun in her face.
And she looked me right in the eye? I'd seen
Siithiu' like it beiore
When 1 limited a wi.uiidcd due to the edge o'
the Clear Lake shore.
And I had my knee on its neck, and jist was
raisin' my knilc
When it give me a look like that, and? well,
it ^ot o:T with its life.
"We arc going to-day," she said, "and I
thought 1 would say good-bye
To you in your own house, Luke? these woods
and the bright blue sky!
You've ahvavs been kind to us, l.ukc, and ;<a
pa has found you still
As xood as the air he breathes, and whole
some as Laurel Tree Hill.
"And we'll always think of you, Luke, as the
thing we could not lake away;
The balsam that dwells in the woods, the
rainbow that lives in the spray.
And you'll sometimes think of aiK, Luke, a*
you know you once used to say,
A rille smoke blown through the woods, aj
moment, but never to stay."
And then we shook hands. She turned, bul
a-suddiut she tottered and tell,
And 1 caught her sharp by the waist, and held >
her a Minit ? well,
It was only a minit, you know, that en col J '
and ez white she 1 ty
Ei a snow-flake here on breast, and then? |
well, she melted away ?
And wa? gone. * * * And thar are her
books; but t says not any for me;
Good enough, nt i.v be for sonic, but tbeui jui)
1 might. i"l ague.
Tlicy spiled a dccent ga! es iniglit hcv made
somi chap a wife.
And look at inc! ? elar two hundred ? and nev
er read one in my life.
About Mothers-in-Law? The Pain
ful History of one of them, with
the Doings of an Intelligent Cow.
A mother-in-law is not generally
counted a sweet boon. She is an ex
asperation before she becomes a moth
er-in-law. In t lie ante-nuptual pe
riod, when sitting with Mary Jan* in
t he square room with the light com
fortably turned down, what could be
more rasping than to have the old lady
come in without warning, on the flim
sy pretext of getting a book, and sur
veying you with a cold searching eye,
as though she knew you were contem
plating running away with !he girl
that very night, and suspected that
you had her trunk concealed some
where about your person! Then after
marriage to have her come and kindly
take the direction of your house.
A friend of mine, whose name was
James Peter Parkinson, married the
uaughtcr of a widow, who owned a
beautiful farm a mile or so away from
the village. James Peter was the hap
piest man in the world, as he had a
right to be. Ilis wife was one of six
beautiful girls, and was as cliarming a
woman as possible. J. I', took a neat
cottage, furnished it nicely, and set out
for a long and pleasant life.
(If course his mother-in-law kindly
superintended the arranging of his
house, and at the conclusion, surveyed
it calmlv and with a pleased >ook.
"There is one thing now that you
want," said she. "V0.1 have a pleas
ant house, an cxccllant cellar, and
Mary Jane is a superb butter-maker.
But of what avail is her skill if you
have no cow? Don't say to me that
you have not the means to buy a cow
? I know that. I shall gift you one ?
Amos will drive it down to-morrow.''
Mary Jane cast a pitifully appealing
look at her mother, but James Peter
took her by the hand and was profuse
in thanks.
Who was r:ght. J P. or his wife? ?
Had J P. only known? but I antici
pate.
Amos did drive the cow down the
next day, and J. P. was in cxtacie*
over her. Such a beautiful animal! ?
So sleek, so linelv proportioned, so in
telligent and sof: an eye, so ? so ? well,
she was all that a cow could be in ap
pearance.
James Peter Parkinson put her in a
pasture lie had secured for the purpose,
and retired to rest dreaming of cows
anp their accompaniments. That
night he swam in rivers of milk, rest
ing when tired 011 islands of fresh but
ter. <
Gailv he awoke in the morning, and
with his pail in hand, hied him forth
to the field, charging Mary Jane to go
and get a churn the first thing after
breakfast. A spasm of pain passed
over her beautiful face as he started,
but he did not notice it. Why is not
the connection between two loving
souls more perfect? Ah, why, indeed!
It is a mystery.
James Peter went to the field, and
looked for his cow in vain. He called,
but she answered not again. He ex
amined, and lo! six lengths of the rail
fence was prostrate. It was explain
ed. Wicked boys had torn the fence
down, and the inr.occnt cow had walk
ed away.
He searched all the day for her, but
found her not. In the afternoon, Man
Jane suggested that probably she had
gone back to I he farm from whence
bhc came, and immediately burst into
tears. James Peter went to (he farm,
and found her there. His mother-in
luw then told him what he did not
know before, that cows always did
come home till they got "wonted" to a
new place; and that Maria, her young
est daughter, who was to commence
going to school in (own, would, if he
had no objection, take dinners at his
house. James was a very poor lawyer
with no practice, but couid he refuse
this from a mother in-law who had
given him a cow? He gladly assent
ed, and insisted that when it rained,
or was too warm, she should stay r 11
the time.
The next morning he went out to
milk his cow, and, as before, she was
not there. Again he built up six sec
tions of prostrate rail fence; again he
went to the farm, and again he found
her there. "She will get wonted,''
said the mother; "and Maria is at
your house now."
It is unnecessary to go through the
wekening detail. 1 or two weeks ihi>
?wretched man went out everv morn
ing to milk that cow, and fourteen
times did he find sections of fencc
down, but no cow. Fourteen times
did he walk out to that farm, and find
her there, milked every time, and four
teen times did he drive her back. Ma
ria, in the meantime, had taken up her
quarters regularly at his house, and
she had a good healthy appetite.
Discouraged and disheartened on
the fifteenth day, he sought a brother
in-law who lived in the same village.
"Is there no way, Filkins, of keep
ing that blasted cow in a pasture lot?"
Filkins fixed him with his eye, and
answered :
?'James Peter Parkinson, I will let
you into a sccret, though I ought not
to. The old lady, is probably, the
meanest. closest, most penurious, par
somonious, stingiest, scraping, grind
ing, vellow-faced old female miser that
ever lived. I would like to say some
thing disagreeable about her, but re
spect for my wife restrains me. It is
customary in these parts for the moth
er of a bride, if she be a farmeress, to
give her daughter a cow; but bless
your, our mother-in-law would as soon
think of selling her soul as to part
with the hair of one. That cow is the
son in law cow. It is an educated
cow. The old lady trained that cow
to come home every night. J>hc gave
it first to Smith, who married Ellen;
the eldest, and on the strength of the
gift, boarded Hannah at his house. ?
Jones, who married Hannah, had it
next, and on the strength of it, Susan,
my wife, got a summer with him. ?
Then I had her, and Mary Jane, your
l wif;, was quartered on me. Now you
have her, and Maria is at your house.
Her husband will have her, and then
Hattie's husband. It is a long-lived
cow, and will will probably run thro'
the entire family. The cow, you will
observe, is milked regularly by the old
lady, while you pasture her. She
can't be kept any more than quicksil
ver can be held. You will (as your
predecessors have done) give it up,
and the old lady will have her till her
next daughter is married, and her hus
band will go through the same firce.
She thus observes the custom, gets
credit for liberality with us, and saves
expenses at the same time.',
Then James Peter Parkinson swore
a mighty oath.
"The husbands of 1 Iaria and Hattie
shall not be blighted as I have been. ?
They shall be spared that cow. I will
go now and kill her. I will sell the
hide, horns, and tallow, and divide the
beef among four injured men."
Then up spoke F lkim:
"How long have you had her?"
"This is the fifteenth day."
"I thought so. You won't find her.
That cow is educated, as I said. The
old lady knows how long patience en
dures. Fourteen days she goes home,
just before the evening milking time ?
the ancient scourge has figured i:
down, that an average man would be
apt to go for that cow with an axe on
the fifteenth. Therefore, that super
naturallv intelligent cow gets away on
the fifteenth day, at about ten in th.i
morning. You will not find her,
James Peter."
It was true, the cow had gone. And
James Peter Parkinson, with Maria on
liis hands, the girl having a good ap
petite, is buying inilk and butter.
Is theie a man who can successfully
cope with a mother-in-law? James
Peter Parkinso \ vows that the hus
band of Maria, when Maria comes to
have r. husband, shall be Informed of
the cow, and that the cow shall be kill
ed the moment Amos reaches the pas
ture with it. lie vows to circumvent
the miserly mo:her-in-law, and the
diabolically intelligent cow, if he de
votes an entire life to it. But he will
not ? no man ever did.
So there will be gloom in the house,
I coldness at his heart, and a blight on
his life. It is sad.
pKTKOMil'M V. NASBY.
- 4 ? ?
As an illustration of the widespread
use of a certain popular title, it is re
lated that a gentleman recently step
ped into a saloon in Denver, and cried
out, in a loud, cheery tone:
'?Hello! Come, professor, take a
drink !"'
Six men sitting in the saloon at once
arose and came forward, while a boot
black. whose stand was just outside
' the door, and a passing corn doctor,
' smilingly accepted the imitation, and
| stepped in.
A pious paper lies on mjr iatole, ou
the Iron I page of ultlc!i uc note
; "Sketches in Ruuvj ? by (>? ? May
j lie *o. my luil. may be so; but thcit'*>
no u:?v ol bciny .o emphatic a!.>uiil i|,'"

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