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VAN COTT, SON OF NEW j IK POSTMASTER, BE? j 1 ANY IRREGULARITIES ;j DISCOVERED. HINGTON. May 13.?President i elt yesterday approved the I lenda'tions made by Attorneral Robb, who has been con- 1 TrV" nucting a special investigation into ! r'\- - the affairs of the New York Postoffioe and as a result Richard Van Cott, ! . son of Postmaster Van Cott, is to be 1 , p * summarily removed. j i According to Attorney General Robb ; i - 'no proof of actual mat-administration ] 1 ?: has been made against the Postmaster | ' and he will be allowed to serve out ! - his term. Mr. Robb reports that a ' brother of the Postmaster was illo r' "gaily appointed to the Inspectir's j , JVi', force and has returned the year's sal- i aiy he received. A number of faults ! i ? in tne office system that Mr. Robb dis- 1 covered to exist' and which were re- i ' jffA sponsible for money and the irregular- ; g; ities detected have been corrected. jajgMfamgfeg.&isa:''..'' r- r? I , Best Part of a Hog. George S. Ham. of Cartersviile, Ga.. j | : 3s at Seelbach's. He tells a good story ] *. r of himself. "I was at a little old-fashioned town ' in the southern part of my State some j ' time ago," he said, "where they did ! n't know that Lee had surrendered I I was shown to my room in the little inn they called 'the hotel,' by an old uncle who shuffled as he walked and J whose scant locks were as white as j V : the cotton he was evidently used to j . ' picking. In a place like this town ev- i cry one you meet wants to know your 1 - , _ j ' JlttUiti Liiives great. til UI ] your personal history and business. ' >: , The old uncle deposited ray suit case. and liefore he turned to so 1 askeu him to fetch a imcher of water. "All < ; right, boss,' lie said, wnut mought yo' name he?" f.. , "1 laughingly told him it was Ham? 'just remember the best part of the tfy/iA' J"?*' I said, 'and you'll have it.' He , i shuffled off down the hall and I had jy,jest about dozed into the land of nod , when I was brought back to conscious- i ness uy a sharp rap at the door and ' heard the old man say: >; - ""Ilea's yo" water, Marse Chitiin's. " ?JvOuisville Herald. A Game of Sling Slang. An Englishman in Uncle Sam's hush g^f -j' ling domain ' i . 'Was driven most madly and wildly insane, : h As he tried to bridge over the gap which occurred "Twist ti.^ _,nglish he spoke and the language he heard. "He was told uncle Sam had John Bui! | "beat a block," That some men are so homely they v' "stop the town clock." Another raised Cain when Ins anger was high i And "kicked into next week" all foes who were nigh. One fellow's a "corker," he nimself is ; a "bird," Someone else is a "cracker-jack"?horliLle word. Young Americans speaking or singing of girls, Call them "Lulus" and "peaches" and "daisies" and "pearls." There are "bats in the belfry" and "rats in the liair;" A man who is "bugnouse" is wild as a bear. Things set right before are plumb "out o' sight." Folks are quite "done up brown" in >: debate and in fight. On asking a friend what on ean>. be T- should do. Vj: All the answer ge got was, "Oh, that's up to you." Jl He's advised when some vantage lie : tries hard to seize, "Go way back and sit down, for you're hot the whole cheese." i This is only a fragment of all that lie bore, And ere lie set foot on liis own native shore. Said the wheels in the Britisher's head "let 'er rip" .: He first became "dippy," then quite "lost the grip;" j 1 And now the poor fellow once happy i' -.1 and jolly, ; t Is in a sad plight, for he's clear "off ;v ' his trolley." ?Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. WIMTFR WHFAT 7 1 ail A T I & U ESTIMATE Statistician of New York Exchange ; Puts It At __j,211,000 Bushels. _ : NEW YORK, May IS.?Statistician : Brown, of the Produce Exchange, in py i'c.; ail ...estimate based on the Government g crop report, places the winter wheat j 2? crop at 300,211,000 bushels, as com- ! EHggj ? "pared with an'indicated yield in April of 425,600,000 bushels. East year's actual crop yield was S9.9,000,000 bushels. Experts attribute _ the poorer prospect to a decrease in i ' ; the area sown, due to the influence of a hard winter.- , HEROIC REMEDIES. V?"nii PreNcrlbed rat One Tixiie. Ffl* Innnnltr And Fit?. Ill health Is a bad tiling at nny time, but 1.10 years ago It was made more terrible by the remedies in use. Bloodletting, of-course, was a simple affair. A. writer In Maemlllan's Magazine soys that everybody was bled twice a yeut ?in the spring and autumn. The barbers were the surgeons and, like wise men, adapted their prices to their patients. A gentleman who so indulged him- j self as to go to bed to be bied was I1 charged half a crown and bis fine lady j half a sovereign. Certain days were ; unlucky for bloodletting, and nothing I would Induce the barbers to operate : bn these occasions. Serious diseases j seem to have been beyond the medical 1 skill of the day. Villages and towns j not ilio infected from i 944.1 J JJAJ ?- ~ their midst. Among remedies herbs of course played ? great part. "For salves," runs an old notebook which bad a great rogue, "the country parson's wife seeks not the city and prefers her garden and fields before all outlandish gums." Sage was held a very great j medicine. It was even asked in Latin. ! '"Why should any one die who has sage in his garden?" If any one had a disease of the mouth, the Eighth I'saim should be read for three days, seven times on each day. As a remedy it was "sovereign." For insanity or fits whipping was prescribed. Little wonder that mortality was great. In old days in Wessex, England, persons witli infectious diseases were confined in the lockup, and whipping was deemed too good for them. Should the sick bo loud in lament. the watchman kept them quiet by this popular discipline, and one town has upon its records, "Paid T. Haw- | kins for whipping two people that had ; the smallpox eiglitponee." Fortunately the spirit of this age is different from that. "THE SLEEPLESS ARCH." Old Hindoo I'rlnoliilc the BuhI.m of j All .Modern IJridses. Although the building of great arelies Df masonry dates beyond, the ancient Roman civilization, the principle that tit ran "fit to tlio m-lSSivO StOIlO bridges of today is the same that built the bridges of the Roman empire. The history of bridge, building is, to i large degree, the history of the arch, whose efficiency lies in the truth of the aid Hindoo saying that "the arch never sleeps" because each separate section of which it consists, beginning at the keystone, or central section, is constantly pushing against its immediate neighbors until the pressure finally reaches the firm foundation.upon which the structure is erected. 0 To secure a perfectly trustworthy foundation. therefore, the bridge builder has often to penetrate far below the surface of the earth, and not infrequently the part of ids structure thus covered up and concealed is greater than that visible above ground. It was their inability to solve the problem of a trustworthy foundation that led the ancient Hindoos to distrust the arch, arguing that the sleepless activity that held it together was equally active in tearing it to pieces. Not only is the modern bridge builder SKllled in setting his structure oil a firm base, but thoroughly acquainted with the time honored materials for his work, to say nothing of new materials, and an important part of his student training in such modern schools as the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is devoted to methods of testing materials during construction that would have surprised and delighted even the most accomplished of the ancient Roman engineers. Hurrying Up the IIa.l>3*. A correspondent sends us an extract from a poem which recently appeared in a South African paper, thinking we shall approve of its sentiments. We do, wo do. The inspired verse is entitled "Making a Man" and begins: Hurry the baby as fast as you can. Hurry him. worry him. make him a man: Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants. , Feed him on brain foods and make him advance; Hustle him. soon as he's able to walk. Into a grammar school, cram him with talk: Fill his poor head full of figures and facts. Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks. ?London Review. A Bargain Ilnntcr. It was a pleasant looking Irishwoman. says the Philadelphia Ledger, who walked into a store and asked the price of the collars she had seen displayed in the window. "Two for a quarter," said the clerk. "How much would that be for one?" "Thirteen cents." She pondered; then, with her forefinger, she seemed to be making invisible calculations on the sleeve of her coat. "That." s^e said, "would make the other collar twilve cints, wouldn't it? Just give me that wan." Ilcr "Weddlns:. "Was it an elaborate wedding?" "Elaborate!" exclaimed the fair divorcee. "Ivshould think it was. Why. it was so elaborate mat you il think 1 she never expected to have another."? ; Chicago Post. Her Contitrnctlon of It. Teacher of Class In Grammar?Construe the sentence, "The study of mankind is man." One of the Big Girls?I don't believe it's true. It was a man that wrote that.?Chicago Tribune. The man to pick out to appreciate the joke you want to tell liim is the i fellow who is waiting to borrow $.1 from you when you get through telling It.?=2S7e\v York Press. ) Stemple's Summer/Hat opening, Friday, May 13th. i . x BEER AND STUDENTS Comment On Dr. Edward ? 'i/erfc Chicago Address. Dr. Edward Meyer, a distinguished professor of the University of Berlin, lias been visiting the University of Chicago. Being invited to address the students he confided to them among other things that beer is used in abundance by German students, and j r'vif rwapr-flrinlvinir is a good custom.! It induces the young men. he said, i to grow up in nappy spirits, and is | beneficial in counteracting the effects of too much study. Dr. ATeyer could not imagine a German student who neither sang nor drank. Such a man, he said, would not be a real German i student. American students have been known to driniv beer, but they are rarely encouraged in it. except by the brewers, and nowhere have they obtained the proficiency in It that the German students enjoy. Dr. .Meyer's, talk made scant!a in Chicago*. The president of the Woman's Gnristian * Temperance Union grieved sorrowfully to hear a learned man advise "drinking, brawling and good-fellowship." A representative of Northwestern University said: "?f he had said such things at Northwestern I think we would have mobbed him." Perhaps more beer would make Northwestern more tolerant. We have heard Americans I who have studied in German universities remark how hard the:-" worked, how much t.liey learned and how much beer i.iey drank. Beer and study really seem to go well together n Ger- j many, but in this country the aflin- j ity between them is much less 110- j ticeable We don't think beer does! l-vmre. nr-.Tr r.arf I r>nl s> f p-nod I Harvard College nits along no-license Cambridge, where beer is not publicly sold, and seea>s not to suffer scnolastically lronx the deprivation. At Yale, wo are told, students drink less beer than formerly. and more "high balls." j Our habits are not the habits of Germany. Neither our climate, our viscera nor our beer is made in that country. Dr. Meyer may not -hope to introduce the German methods ol scholarship here. Our doctors may go so far as to admit that beer is best drunk in America by persons whose livers are comparatively new, but that is about as much as they will concede. We drink beer here, but we dare not glory in it. Perhaps if we took as much pains as the Germans do to have our beer well made out of fii materials we would havd more con- j .fidence in its effects.?Harper's Weekly. JAPANESE COLONY FOR SOUTH It is to Settle In Texas and .Spend $100,000 For Rice Lands. NEW ORLEANS, 31ay 10.?Prob-! ably the first direct "development effect" to be felt in the Louisiana Ter- j ritory as a result of the Louisiana Pur-! chase Exposition is the semi-official ! recognition given by the Japanese! Commission to the immigration movement from Japan Jo the rice-growing ; country in Louisiana and Texas. About June 1 a number of Japan-: ese now in St. Louis will leave for Louisiana and Texas under the escort oL* Mr.R. Onisha, who will take I them through the rice country on a tour of inspection. About the same time a party of more than 100 Japanese who are now on their way from Japan will reach Houston. These latter will become rice farmers. Two members of this party, it is said, are bringing with them more than $100,000 each. w..a which to purchase rice lands and start. Japanese colonies. When to Marry, void rhyme.} Marr> when .the year is new, Alwa\s loving, kind and true: When February birds do mate. You may wed, nor dread your fate; if you wed when March winds blow, T nn/| cnvrnur Itntli trnnvv Marry in Aj.nl when you rail. Joy for maiden and for man; Marry in me month of May, \ou will surely rue the day; Marry when June roses blow, Over land and sea you'll go; They who in July do*wed Must labor, always for their bread; j Whoever wed in August, be. Many changes are sure to see; Marry in September's shine, Your living will be rich and fine; If in October you (lo marry, Love will come, but riches tarry; If you wed in blealc November, Only joy will come,, remember: When December's snows fall fast. Marry and true love will }ast. 1 have three of the very best lots in the Morrow Addition for sale, at a very low price. H. H. Lanham. x STAGE LIGHTS. Their Various U?f? nncX tlie^5aise? "by XVlilcU They Are Ivnoivntights plnj- an important part on the stage of the fnodern theater, and they have innny uses. The spot light, for instance, is employed to cast a circle of light upon the stage where a single person is to he brought intio especial prominence. It consists of an arc electric light inclosed in a cylindrical hood about the diameter of a stovepipe and provided at the open end with a condenser lens for the purpose of concentrating the rays upon a small area. A flood light is an arc in a rectangular box painted white upon the inside to serve as a reflector. It is supposed to flood the stage with light: hence its name. Hunch lights are clusters of gas or incandescent lights either arranged within a reflector or exposed naked. They are used hack of a scene behind doorways, ivhere light is needed off the stage to represent the illumination of that part of a dwelling not shown. For the same purpose "strip" lights are used?rows of Incandescent lights fastened to a strip of wood provided with a hook, by which it may be hung to the back of a scene when required. , "Side" lights are incandescent lights arranged on either side of the proscenium arch. Sometimes they are built within the arch "or they are arranged to be swung outward when the curtain is raised. The footlights are familiar to all, and the "border" lights are those hung over the stage directly above the scenery. shutting oit the top of the stage. These arc arranged in a trough likc-an inverted "U" to cast their light down upon tlie stage.' These are practically all of the lights used upon the stage of a house, though magic lanterns arc employed at times for the simulation of water effects, moonlight ripples and lightning. The old fashioned calcium, using the oxyhydrogen gas. is so seldom employed In the modern theater as to call for no comment. CALIFORNIA'S GREATNESS. California has the largest seed farms in the world. California leacls all the states in the production of barley. The Golden Gute is the western porta: for America's great future commerce. California is the only state in the Union in which bituminous rock is found. California has a larger per capita wealth than any other state in the Union. California produces more oranges and lemons than any other state in the U 1X1U11. The United States mint at San Fran eiseo is the largest institution of tin kind in the world. For many years past San Franeiscc lias been and still is the leading wbal iug port of the world. The glory of California's flowers is practical. The state produces mor< honey than any other. California produces more Englisl walnuts than all the other states, anc they are of better quality.?Exchange. A Ho in e 'I'll rust. There is a good story told about tin late Henry Bergh. While walkinj about the streets of New York city on< morning he saw a teamster whipping j balky horse. "Stop that, you brute," he exclaimed "or I'll have you locked up inside 01 Ave minutes! Why don't you try kind ness. on the animal? Don't you sup pose a horse can be reached by a kind word the same as a human being?" "I b'lieve ye're right, sor," replied the teamster, a quick witted Irishman who, with all his faults of temper, was not a bad man at heart, "an' if a harst has feelin's, sor, don't ye s'pose his dhrivor has too? Thry a koind wor-rc on the dliriver, if ye pl'aso." The stern face of Mr. Bergh relaxed into a smile, and in the better under standing that followed the horse for got that it was balking and started ofl in <1 tTOt. A ScatliiiiK Retort. An English lawyer who had beer cross examining a witness for some time and who had sorely taxed the pa tience of the judge, jury and every one in the court was finally asked by the court to conclude his cross exam ination. Before telling the witness tc stand down he accosted him with this parting sarcasm: "Ah, you're a clever fellow?a very clever fellow. "We can all see that." The witness leaned over from the box and quietly retorted: *4I would return the compliment if 3 were not on oath."?"Personalia." Vnlprar Admiration. Mr. Mucheash?What are you doinj rut there in the night air? Come intc the house. Gladys?I was just admir ing the moon, papa. Mr. Mucheash? What business have you admiring tin moon when there are so many things in the house that I have bought ex pressly for you to admire? Anybody can admire the moon. IIIn Lnok. Lowscads (despondently)?I migh 1 just as well be dead. What go<?d art) I, anyway? Why, I believe that I've been refused by every girl in town Ilenpekke (excitedly) ? Touch wood Touch wood, quick, or your luck will change!?Smart Set. Men mid Horn. "When I hears a man sayin' dat he likes dogs better dan he does human folks," said Uncle Eben, "I can't help suspectin' dat mebbe he's picked out de kin' o' friends dat's as good as he deserves."?Washington Star. You get the news in the Daily Wesl Virginian. ... . - \ ;r;ead this o ^?" If you are a sub! not, We want you. -THE DAILY WE is new, and. has its shoi about that. You wen But we are working ha: second to none in this r IT TAKES MONEY . to establish an up-to-da not know about that, y< for it. We knew it befc felt that some interes needed such a paper j WE ARE "BOOSTERS | We believe Fairm* 1^1 rkf h OiT? o-rofl toct. C JLiUJ.V.1 Vi JU.V* WK/ w promote ber best inte: ! various institutions wil We need all tbe enterpj courage tbe men wbo a tbis community will be try to give ALL THI and occasionally tell yo ! TEN GENTS .,,5, forty cents is tbe price dollars pays for it a wb ? "Come tbou witb i ' good. ' First Floor N" ew J ? i Street and Porter Alley ; DANCING AS A DUTY j Dr. G. Stanley Hall, president of Clarke University, says dancing 5 snould have a place in the general - scheme of education. As he puts the matter, "We ought to get over this 1 narrow, wretched, bigoted prejudice ' Ih^r nrn?!Crihps ir " Certainly to get rid of any prejudice so bad as the one portrayed would be uplifting. * Quoting the authority again: "If I we reach a golden age I think that i dancing will be more universal language than language icself." He de, scribes it as expressive beyond music ^ or speecn. To him it appeals as a building up the gray matter of the " race. To defend dancing against the ^ charge of being in itself harmful is not uncommon but its exaltation into ; the sphere of the virtues is rare. Dr. i Hall elevates dancing to a duty. > While the sentiment will be widely 1 approved to ascribe part of his averments to the exuberant enthusiasm will be natural. To hold that tlie talented toe lightly spurning a waxed 5 floor can convey more to the senses than can oe conveyed by spoken word or unspoken melody is almost too severe. Dancing is to some as impos1 sible as song to others. The Hall ' view would place upon those who do , not dance an unfair handicap. Life r would be dark indeed for the person . with a timber leg. > Perhaps it would be proper to won2 lo?* ??is?npntfnl1 v i f srrao.e* skill s?nd ner sistence in dancing won by Dr. Hall ' the headship of a university.?New York Evening World. 1 NEW RUSSIAN IVMN As sung regularly at Port Arthur. * Oh. say can you see by the dawn's ^ early light, What so proudly we hailed at the > twilig-Ps last beaming? s No, your highness, I can't; for some I time in the night, It ran foul of a mine and It's long | past redeeming. Giant powder's red flare, Iron ?ngs to spare? ^ Then up went, a battleship high in , the air; ; And the mines of Port Arthur. ! Oh, long may they flo-oat; i I rurrrpr frn-on vpnor*r-rf? Had destroyed-d? the wrong ? boat-t-t! ?Puck. i Notice. My entire line of millinery is still going at cost. Come in and. see. I have some pretty hats for a little money. MRS. LAURA FRAZBR, 423 Jackson St. x ~aaas OPY 'OF THE Virginian 3criber, that's nice; if ST VIRGINIAN tcomings. You know e new once yourself r rd to make our papesr egion. MD HARD WORK ite paper. If you- do ou can take our wordL >re we started,' bu,t xsr& ts in this community is we propose to nm, NOT ''KNOCKEfeS.'*" ont to be at tbe thresira of prosperity. To rests and uphold her 1 be our daily concern^ nses we have. To eiirre helping to build our delight. We will. 1 NEWS, U ivhat zve think about thi-izgsv the I>aily one west, per month; while fqrur ole year. is and we will do th.ee* Lcobs Building, Monroe RELIEF FOR THE LAP DOC Boston Women, It is Said, to TaJot Active Measuresr"Boston ladies have decided that it is time to take decisive action fertile relief of their lap dogs," says-, the Chicago Record-Herald. "It Is. well known to people who have had. opportunities to study the lap dog fhSt. he nas a disagreeable tendency togrow stout. This doubtless is due to the fact that he is prevented hy circumstances over which he has no ? control from getting a .proper amount o? exercise. If the lap dog could set. but occasionally and chase, a hen npo an alley, or get kicked, through a fence by an accommodating mule it. is probable inat he would be able to keep himself down to reasonable proportions. ' "But he is a victim of fashion. Instead of running along behind the carriage and yelping he rides in luxurious ease. Hence he soon begins, to get pussy and to wheeze when he has to move from one pillow to anotlv e:\ A wheezing lap dog Is depressing. One always feels a tightening of the air tubes when a waddling lap dog gets to wheezing around and giving unmistakable signs of his belief mat. life is a burden. "It is encouraging, therefore, tolearn thaL fashionable women of Boston haye decided that the lap dog must be relieved of his prese-nt troubleTo this end they have formed a clut* in the exclusive hack Bay district and there training quarters for the pet lap dogs are to be established. Under the care of an expert trainer the lap dogs will he put through dailyexercises calculated to. keep them frotu growing stout and to develop their wind, so mat they may he able to skip about playfully and wheeze no more. . : l a is is a most ccmmenuuun; uiuv*=ment on the part of the Boston ladies, whose hnmantarian propcRsitiesr have ever been among the -chief slo i ios oi our lujui. ii nit;it uuituicu can be cared for properly by the nurses while the ladies are at the clot superintending the training of lap dogs, gladness should hereafter oe able to give a continuous performance in Boston's fasnlonable circle.*" , Charley Williams Better. Cuarley Williams, the insane , colored man, has been dismissed from the county jail. There was no room for him at Weston, and as he was a. great deal better and his friends came for him, he was let out. He was. taken away from the/city.'