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Fair play. [volume] (Ste. Genevieve [Mo.]) 1872-1961, January 23, 1873, Image 1

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn87052181/1873-01-23/ed-1/seq-1/

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Is Published Entry Th.ur.Uiy by
g. HENRY SMITH, Proprietor.
orricE on anwHAKT stueet,
(SvUl Suit")
Soiih Side of Public Square.
Terata ef SuDscription.
InvriWy in. advance.
One copy, one year .. SI.
Club of ten to same Post-office liflrt
Club of twenty to wuno Poet office .J0.0u
jgyClub rates do not apply to the city
f Ste. Genevieve
Selected Miscellany.
Miss Brown and I.
One bright and lovely day in spring,
I left the busy town,
And wandered through a garden with
Sweet Aramidta Brown ;
And when I asked, "Art fond of flowers!"
In accents sweet, she said,
"Oh, ves, I'm very fond of Hour
Ktb.o shape of good wheal bread."
Behold," said I, "the lovely plants,
That round u sweetly bloom.
Without their charming brightness
The world would all be gloom.
I love even the cowslip
That blooms in meadows green."
I think" said she, "cowslips are nice.
When boiled whit pork and beans."
"I lvc," said I, "tho gladsome birds,
Singing their songs so sweet."
"I think," said she, "a nico fat bin!
Is very good to cat."
And when we passed a lovely rose
With flowers just blossoming
"Oh, dear," said she, "I've so atched my hand
Upon the ugly thing."
She pointed to a running vino
That just then caught her eye,
What is that lovely plant:" she asked.
"A squash," was my reply.
"Oh, yes," "he. "squashes arc good,
When nicely boiledjand pressed,
But still, I think of all the plants
I love the onion best."
I talked to her of poetry.
Of music, art and nature.
In hopes t find some object that
Wouli please tho fair oung creature.
But when she moved her lips to speak,
As true as I'm a sinner,
She only said, It's almost time
For us tojgo to dinner."
W. D. H. Pei.nso.v.
Tho November afternoon was dark
ening into night as Florence and I
drove back from the cemetery where
wo had seen our father laid to rest.
1 was twenty two, that summer, and
the atliauccd bride of Alden Free
man ; but, Mnee my lather'" failure
and death, I bad not seen hint and
my heart told me only too plainly,
that the love winch bad been given
to Marion Wilbur, the lavored of tor-
tune, had not been trausfened to
ilariou W'ilbor the homeless orjihan.
Fiorauce, though younger than J, i
was married; had her home and her :
husband, and eould afford to look up
on my father's failure and death
calmly ; but I what was Ito do ? I j
must oegui tuo w orm, aim ram u u - ;
ing for myself.
We stopped before tho mansion
that bad so long boon homo that af
ter to-night would bo homo no long
er. "I wish to speak to you, Marion,'
Floranco said.
I led the way into the library.
"Well?" I said, sitting down in
tho gloom. "What is it, Floranco?"
"It is this, Marion. What do you
moan to do?"
"i don't know," I said, drearily
"It is tinioyou did," said Florance.
"You must earn your own living. I
tell you frankly tbat I can not offer
you a homo, and you must get somo
situation. To-morrow you must
leavo this house. You bavo no mon
ey. Whore arc you going ?"
I droppod my head on tho table
and burst into toars. Ob tho un
speakable desolation and misery I
felt at tbat motnont ! My sistor had
never beou over-stocked with affec
tion for her family, and thoughts of
tbo world bad always filled a large
place in hor heart; but it did seem as
if sho might at loast give me timo to
bury my father before thrusting roe
into it and not my fathor only, but
my lovor, for was he not dead to mo
also, and must I not bury him out of
my sight ?
"I have boen more thoughtful for
you than you have been for yourself"
pursued Floranco. "I have found
you a temporary homo. Mrs. Brown
is in want of a seamstress.
1 havo spoken for you; hor
terms are liberal, and you are to go
Marion Wilbor go out as a seams
tress! How coolly she talked!
of it! It is astonishing-how per
sons will talk of discomfort when they
are not the parties concerned. I
did not lift my head, but cried on,
silent, wretched tears as ever a wo
man wept.
"You will go there to-morrow
morning, when you leave hero, and
while there you can advertise for an-1
Other nlaC.n T mini hnrmlnfinnn-
C a m-ww wv svii.,: uvni I
VOL. 1.
I did not answer, and alio was gone; jmy father's death. He did noti
then 1 .sank down in my loneliness, know of my marriage, and begged
poverty and misery, and cried until I me to forgive him.
could cry no longer. "O Marijn'.' he said, "you would
"0 Alden, Alden!" I cried, in my I forgive ami pity mo if you knew what
great wretchedness. "Is this the I have .suffered. Only forgive mo,
love you professed for me?'' i Marion, and let me win your heart
And so that long night passed, as' onee more. Promise to be my wife,
all nights must; but the morning
found mo a changed womau. Jtj
seemed as if in that one niirht I had (
given up everything that had been,
dear to me. It did not break my
heart, either; Alden Freeman should
never do that; when my heart broke
it would be for a worthier object,
'n' r iIimhI.-.mI flnil tliMt I li-ul le-irneil
Alden Freeman's uuworth so soon.
With no choice left, 1 took my
way to -Mrs. Brown, and remained
for tlircn months :i iiinmbnr i her
family. One morning, an advertise-;
was a lawyer, and one of the most
Vn- Ynrlf leir
"You advertised for a copyist,"!!
said, "and I called to see if I could do f
what you require."
"Will you write something
me?" ho said, placing writing mate
rials before me.
1 wrote several lines, which he ex
amined. and then said thev
1 found the terms liberal, and car-1
ricd homcnuiie a largo roll of papers.
I, ,v!.s..o-r.-o1,.ed H.at :.!t.,r this the
ortico boy would call for my writ-'
mgs, unci bring mo luriner oruers.
Mr. draham called occasionally lo
give 6onio directiiHis about the law
papers; ho was a man ofabotit thirty
tu-e veiv hind in his nmnner. and
i !
j j,e occasionally brought mo a hook to '
Lead. His little kindnesses wore'
1 - l - .- - r ,
very welcome to
me in my great
l nave loroiicn m mi uii" i n..ii
gone to live with an old lady whom 1:
t I r ... . .... .1.... I -
na(i once befriended during a long ili-
ues, nut woo li uu since
received a i
small legacy which enabled her to
live comfortably.
In time, my writings grew to be
other than the copying ot law p ipers.
First. I wrote a short sketch, and
sent it to one of the leading journals ;
it was roeeivod and paid for, and I
continued writing, boon alter, a
uow book was given to the public,!
I I II A .-....
. i s..i ...ii. ..i
ings aiicrwaru, .ui, uhihiu raum
and brought me the hook, saying he
. , , . ,, -, i, ,
WISIIOU mu io ii'au ii, its lo itm
. ..... - nJ .i
ment.nuie paper au.ac co my at-. BreamlnS OH Wedding jient a thousand ayeai; and, I t k
lontion, and I determined to answer t lie works hard lor Ins money. Jsome
it. It was for a copyist. A few , , , , ,-.,, u- , ., , times the services aivi such that mo
. . . A bachelor ctlltor out West. W no ........ ..i t ,,., A friend of
mornings later, 1 kuoeked at the of- .... , .... , . ... .. nv tannoi n p.i nun. a iiunnoi
' ! hail rceenctl lioin tlie i.iti n.uui oi a nne, a voung meiiicu-, had a stand-
tieedoorof 11 ward Graham. He ,,,.-, ..j,.. t- ..j,..,.,,,, wedding :., en-'a-'eiiicnt ot S4DI) a year to
1 wouta iiko u. xni; .m.luu.
known, ho said; she only gave alien-j
tious name; and all the eftorts of the
public had beon unsuccessful in tiiid-jd,,.
ing hor out. 1 said nothing. 1 chose
to keop my secret.
I had inado mi mv mind to givo up
copying, and told him so. He look- j
' ,' . , . I
at mo in a surprised way for a mo-
mcnt, then said, ;
"May I askwhj-, Miss Wilbur?"
Are you to bo mairied? Tell mei
tbat it ia not so!" Ho took my hand, ;
then went on hurried ly,
"I love you; you cannot be surpris
ed at this; you must have seen it be
fore; tell mo that no one else has a
claim upon your heart."
I told him tbo story of my past
"You cannot care for second Iove,",ble. landed in madam's bo-om.
t b.,-a I 'l'lum nttdding!" re?otiudetl the war
X D.1IU.
n... i. ,.icnnA a
arms, aaying
"Your second lovo is moro' pre
cious to me than the first love of
any other woman."
I told him, that night, who was
the authoress of tho book bo so much
admired. A look ol proud joy came
. . I
into his laco. j
. , . ... , j
I thought it was Iilio you; it made (
mo think of you wbeu I read it; but
I diduot dream of this; why havo you i
keptitsuch abOcrot?" !
, , :
I not learned what it is to be lovod
ri... iri..i,ii,ir' l cmn tt if nrn :
for my good fortune, and
when that forsook me? 1 wish to be!
loved for myself aloue."
iknW- An .- linrn t mot Allien
wm.j wmv a - -------
'Freeman; it Was seron years after
Politically Iiidetlendcnt Open to
, and nothing on earth shall part us
i hat a tluod oi outer memories
oppressed my heart!
"There was a time long nasi-' I
answered, "when my heart wai all
1 your own; but you cast it back as
j worthle-s; have 1 not sutlered,
think you? I would not trust you
I n-Itl. ,, l,..rt il it ..( over
live but il is not-I liavu "lven it to
net, out ii is uoi, i a.Hi b'u" 11 ,u
one who loves me not for my gold
; but for myself, lam married to a
.mod Mod nol.Ie man. and 1 love him
with my whole heart
( ,..,k,. to dream on. thus gives the re-
. ci.li f..viu.,-;,.i
We put it under the head of our
lHlmv. shut our eyes sw eetly as an in-
ed w ith'an ca,v conscience,
fant. hie-
' , . T i 'i .... ii .
.. .1 . iKiiin. i' I .mil i
i"'"""" '
Jin fancy wo were married! Never bliird to l0 ier n.-o. 1C Wou!d liave
I was a little editor v) happy. It a- nothing to do with her case. Simi
! ' inv love.' 'dearest.' sweetest." ring- .v f Ui.ow- the son of a rich man
jug in our ears every moment. Oh!
that the dre.tm h::l broken ott here.
Hut no. some c il genius put it into
"' H'"".l o! our mi. k io uc
li"'v. just to pb-a-e her
In a hungry dream wc .-at down to
Wei! the pudding moment
i :,v-rt v. i. a::l a hua
.med from sight
-lie :.lni"-! o!
the plate before
Mv !e:::" said we fondly, d;d u
make thi-."
' V-s, !nvc
am t u nice.
-the liest bxead pudding
' (iior:oii7
I ever ;.nted in inv liic.
5l"".(-:te 1
I'inm :
uiulmg. oucy
I.n ,,,, ... ... f '....) nn.lding. 1
mi alwavs loud of i-m.
Call that bread pudding
claimed my wife. v. iiile her lip
ly curled with contempt.
'Husband th's is really too
plum puddiu
is twice as hard to
make as bread pudding mid i
expensive, and a great deal better.
. v u'vUu., ...i;,,., V and my
: lu."etty wifs brow Hushed with excite-
'My lnvc, my sweet, my dear love."
.i.-..l.iiin..l tVf ciuilloMtrl V t!o!llt tWt
nmw I'm sine its veiv irood. il it is
i "t-1 - - --.a
broad pudding.
' You mean, low wretch.
,. , ., i - i ..
'replied my wile in a higher
. V()U knou. vhun 1sl,ilU,1!r..
. Tiien isia'am. it i- so meanly put
j together, and so badly burned, that
tlevil !iim-vlf woiildn'tl;niw it. I
tell vou madam, mo-t ditiiieth and
emphatically, ami I will not be con
tradicted that it is bread pudding. ami
the meanest kind at that.'
It is plum pudding, s'inekea my
& of
mv face, the glas itself iupmug the
c,aret f,.01ll Iliy
itread pinlding!? gaied wc. pluck
to ti e last, and grasping a rousted
clncKCli in me leu leg. Assyrians. One recently discovered thy with lalalistn, and jut we are
lMuiii pudding!" roe above the 'near a cuneiform inscription, which free to say that Mr. Ur.cley'.s dcsti
din, as I had a distinct perception of Mr. George ! Smith of the Uiitish Mil- ny was on him, and he could not un
feeling to plates Mna-h across my semn has succeeded in translating, cape it. There were inward causes
ie.wi t It is an account of a deluga related that gnawed their way outward to
'Bread pudding!" we groaned in a
rage as the chicken lett our hand, and ,
fiviuir with switt wing acro-s the ta-
cry from the enemy, a
the gray dish
'took us to jrhere we had been de
positing the first part of our dinner,
ami a plate of beets lauded upon our
white vc?t.
'Itread pudding forever !" shouted
wc in delienec, dodging the -oup
i. . . i- - , :. . ..
lourccn, ami la.nug occau. us co,.-
. 1Im,,i ..ttililtuir '- vi.lti.fi llie ;ill.:l-
' r; . .
blc spouse as noticing our misfortune.
ilic (,utt.nilinc(j ,0 , ,itlW- j,y
piling upon our head the dishes with
,,o gentle hand. Then in rapid sue-
cession, the last growing feebler, till
,-c, o i n,..iwti",.iv iwoih.cf it l-.;ol
grown to a wispcr. ' l'lum j.ud-
4!illir - resouuded like thumlcr. fol-
J v.... ...... ... - -
lowed by u tremendous crash, as my
:. l ..T 1 .1.,. ..Tl.. .-:!. t.r
, J. ' , ,.,.,,,..,.-..! inmu-
, ing up and down when, thank Ileav-
en. we awoke, and thus saved our
life. "We shall never dream on wed -
'ding cake Hgsin that's the moral
all Farties-Controllcd hj N'nne.
Windfalls for Dmlurs.
The curio-iiieSMt medical life and
practice are otiille - If we hear
very often ofmediea! men doing ar
duous work for very -eanty renin
neration. -ometimes thttrc i- an
agreeable obverse of reee'ving very
splendid remuneration tor very scan
ty services. We know of a niedu-ai
man whose- duty it is to take lunch
evei v (lav at a great i-astle belonging
to a noble lord. The household is
immense; and there is just tho chance
that there may bo some ease of indis
position demanding attention, lie
.rtitte s.iiit. o: lit h.t ioiiiii;1(i ;md
hest lunches in Kinduud, and dtilv
charges a guinea b-r each attendance-
There is a very wealthy man near a
great city, who cannot hear to be
i..t. r.o. ti... ti..rtit 'ri..-. i. i ..i.t-i
. ; IW"
cian ol great alu'itv who drives out
ot town nil.tlv to'slcep at his resi-
deuce: he is c m-eipiently debarretl '
evening -oe ii : V, and it he goes out to
dinner he ha-, to leave his tnends he .
tore wine. He lias to charge Ins pa-
look alter the health ot a youn ladv
Slio rioiiired to be ilistiected three
i times a day, and make an exhibition
of tongue and pulse. hat made
matter so ngrivating was, that she
I tf.u k kiiMh.f k -i hurst wliilt iiu
i doctor was a delicate man. hue was
so t s!i :inil iiervers.-. Hint. lie wu
kifk .ltiwi mil tii'tviMs Hint ht wii.
who proposed to pay a clergyman
several hundred pound a year tor
leave to spend his evenings with him
The parson, however, was obliged to
tell his rich friend that he li.lkcd
such intolerable twaddle, that he
eould not accent hi coiiiiianv on an
terms that could be named. " Hut oi -
dest ot the arrangements is the fob
lowing. A medical man has been at
tending a luitieut several vears, and
! vet has never seen his patient. The
cnlicmuu tirmly b hcvos that he
has an 4esophag!is f peculi.ii- con
struction, and i it.it he accordingly
liable at any moment to be choked.
I'ital he!; niav he at band w heuevcr
1 :tHi sudden emergency may ocelli,
i h ha n plivictan in the iioue
night and tlay. The pHsiciau, be
ing human, must needs take his
walk a'iroud, and it becomes neces
sary to provide a substitute tor him
two h-mi-.s ad.-iv. Accordingly a doc
tor attends daily from twelve to two.
tills up his time bv disposing ot an
, admirable Ini.cii, and iinds the go it
' and silvt r coin, tit their usual happy
; c' inoiiiaiion, noatl put nv me sine
. l,1:,,,-
,l' 'u'"1 ."
III us-,,,- ,., .i , . i.
ate he has never
with hi
i t.u!?f.
.lire oi cAi lianging woros.
.... t
interesting p:
.. . . t.'..
'1 ho same evidences upon which.
. ,-. i i i i .1
..,.,.!..,... iM.i. I...... ii...;p i,..i,..r
:l scries oi submergences ol ihf.
land, were accessible to the earlier
generations oi men, both Jew and
(jeiitiie. '1'he irescsico of seashells
and marine lossds on mountain tops
remote from the ocean, and scattered
ail over the Mirlace of the earth.
would naturally lead untutored men
to the theory of a deluge, in the ah-
sence of all knowledge as t-j the dis-
placements ot the earth d crusts., n
was also natural that this theorj
should be taught in the form of a
narrative, and become a tradition
among all the more intellectual o
the early races. Hence it is not siir -
prising to find a record of such a tra
dltion among the monuments ol the
by Aisiitliriis, ascribing the occur -
rence ny inc w ii Keiincss oi uumiiinu,
and following generally the biblical
story in regard to the building of an
ficlr Miol its hii'i ri . itnr i.ii . tii.i.iii
.'. , ... ,
tain top; but the inscription has cv -
oral details not given in the biblical
narrative. The tradition of a deluge
was common property, ami the Mory
of the ark, no doubt, belonged to
more races than one, each adding its
own variation, ami peopling the big
canoe according to its o wn national
u iien twenty-seven inches ot snow
. 1 . 1 ; i - t
yieni inree incites oi waier, now ( mm so mueu as to receive irom some
I mnch milk will a cow give when fed celestial messenger an authoritative
,m Kngliyh turnips I' 'Tu .fert:isn,ia-Miniticc that he mut tlie the next
multiply the flakes of -now by the morning.' About the middle of Oct-
hairs on a cows tail, and then divide toiler, in a Sunday evening oonver -
the product by a turnip, add a pound j, at ion with him, the same premoni
ofcbalk, and the .-urn will be the mis- torv meditations on death and immor-
An exchange says;
'You might
::mpoon the
well attempt to
head of ;i:i elephant with a tl
, ,, , ...
' M of soapsuds as to attempt
to w
1 business and i' oic printer's tak.
m. 3
A Word to Young Men.
It i- as easy to he a good man n- a
poor one. Half the energy display-
ed in keeping uhead that is required
to catch up when behind, would have
credit, give m ire time to attend to
and add to the
reputation of those who work for
gain. Be prompt: honor your en
gagements. If you promise to meet
a man, or do a certain thing at a cer
tain moment, he ready at the appoint
ed time, if you go out on business,
attend promptly to the matter on
hand, then as promptly attend lo
your own business. ! not stop to
!o not
tell stories during business hours. If
. . ... .
vou have a place ol liiiMne.-h, te there
, ...
' '. -N ver
get rich hy -itiing arouu.l store-ami
saloons. .Never 'fool' on businc.-.
matters. Have order, system, regu
laiitv and promptness. lo not nied
d!e with business you know nothing
of. Never buy any article you do
not neeil.aud the man who sells w ill
take it out in trade. Trade is mon
ey. Strive to avoid harsh words and
!. not kick everv
stone in the path more miles can be
,naJe in tlay ,,y rtcailily .
, . " ; u- ,,.tv
ii n
1 r r,w, I. !.;
' ... . ... .
ordashedoes hi, bond. Aid, but
. V
never Peg. tietieve olliern when
you can, but never give what you
..ir..r.t i.. m.ii.U-ii is
fashionable, l.earu to say no. No
ueevsity tor snapping it out deg l'ah
toned; but say it tirmly and respect,
tuily. Ilavr but tew eontid.mts.
I'sc voiir brains rather than others.
' i..-a: i: to think and ait tor out-self,
He ignai.t. Keep ahead lather
than hcitiud the lime-. Young man.
in mis ii,,., Lao mmt it, c.tiei.o
p.-rtl-al. in the golden storeroom ol
voiii biiini. ami it y on find that there
is I-illv in tin- argument, let u know,
i' tun-r MM.
An aged negie--, ".hose eminent
piety had s, cur, d tor her an extern
s.vc leptiiatioii. in walking her Usual
tonti'lot visits, uroppetl in upon
neighbor, who was cnuallv well
known as a teinperaiice ui.iu and Ita-
l,-r of tobacco. At'er being comte-
tnisiv leieived, the negiess pullctl
iiom her pocket a long pipe, :.nd
commence.! sii.ohii.g so.ne veiv
strong t' baceo, t. t., inlimtj tli
gust of her host. The man main -
laineil bis tottiKisiire several min-
. I Mil'.1 I III I !l .1 II IS 11. IS. Mill. 1 SI. (Ill
I 1. .
. ' . i .. . . i
Occam,! loo powcr.ui ior nun. anu,
. .-. i i .:.t.
'rising iroiu ins citati, sam:
" . .... .
.lllil i.liioe, ott vou iiiuiK vou are
i christian?
e, oi icuili , i
I is.'
"in vou nvtievu in
"les, hrnildor.
!). yi.u know there i a passage
! in the Scriptures, which declare
that nothing unclean siiall iuUeri'.
the kingdom ot heaven.'"
"Yes, I've heerd of il."
"lo you believe it?"
"Well, Chine, you Mnokc, a:id you
cannot enter me Kingdom oi nea.cn,
1 because there's nothing so unclean
as the breath of a smoker. What do
'm say to mat.
"Why, I specks to leave my brct!
' behind mo when I g to heaven."
Tiitnn sa: "We have no sympa-
: this elteet. lie had premonitions. tt
iiuoioniya ie-.v -.veei inn uiauv
months ago. Itin ing some idle hours
in Brooklyn early in the campaign,
, . , . , ., .
li. ..ml In ii. tvitli -. vc.lih.o sm lite
, . .' , '.
;aud a tone ot unwonted pathos, !
have but one great ambition, and that,
i-, not the pre-idency, hut dea'.b.' '
Later in the -umtiicr (or perhaps
early in the full,) when some Iriemi,
were talking with him at a merry
.-.upper table, when one ol it. gayly
ly asked, 'How he enjoyed being
praised by one political party, and
, damned by another?' he simply an-
s-.vered that 'nothing would gratfiv
I . - . . i- . .
tabihn broke lorth Jiom hit lips.
About three week- ago Mr. Greeley
b-tir! til tl. .rt.ltl.t.r t.nr Iifoil i.iii
holding it ior theIast time,) 'My,1'1"" Jor V;l.
dear nierid, for thntv das andi
nigliU I have not lcpt; 1 shall never
sleep again ; I pray f-.r icatb.; "
"alir ir. I'-rri'virrr isir jJtt':.
Kafcs of .tdTt-rtt-lnr :
On cu:ir W vorJ. "r :j . -
Each-ubeiju'nt Sti-c tti;
ettrJ. 1 inch -paw p . r.
I'M" i-liiui:i. one war
() hs'.f eoltntm. em- ear.
On--i;i;arST vetum, one ear iC.
UUplayrd advrtisersents charged '
the inch
$eg AH tftiniT!t advertiKing ma: i
paid tor in advance.
Sxt Yearly advertise
rtisncnt p.ivaKo ;.'
Miy in n.lvance.
In St. Louis thev vaccinate n.-o
nadrrs wiih brickbats,
Why will -nine pay mu.-ii for
rent when they can net a hoiwo maid
1,,r tl'tve or four doll:-.i:
Little Pick's mother
what kind of nuts she
asked bio
for him. iKnightmts. mamtn.i. n;
can caek "em with my ti'otiis."
A brick fell from a scaffold, yester
day, on the head of a passing i e
gro. "Kliiigdem ere peannt-sliells
anodef way up derc, won't ei?"
was the darkey's advice as lu'-tiarl.-eil
his wool.
"Arethe-e rooms to l.-i";" said a.
polite gentleman lo a hai.d--ouif
young lady.
"Yes. sir."
"Are you to let with theml'"
No, sir. I'm to beiet alone."
Thi-re is a great joker living in
Iowa, by the name of Ache, and ho
has named a newly arrived daughtrr
-Hellie," the short for "Ueile."
When she gets big enough to v.rcstie.
won't she give il to that old man?
A lady who had a groat horror of
tobacco got into a rail road carriage
the other day and impiircd of a muio
neighbor, "Io oil ihew tobacco.
sir.'""t, ma-l.i
an get
madam, was the I ;lvJ
vou a cliew :t ou
want it.
UOU1..I lO o.caso IH-I.--A Wl-ll.li:
I I ... .1 . t t i ... r i
voung ladv, when she said, entrent-
t , ..j",,,,. c j,,
V), Leaned me home."
"Ion't be airaid," icplied he, "1
am us much ashamed of it as ton
ate." That settled it.
A Louisville amendment fell head
i'oreiiiost mto an ice cellar, and th-
t'r ighlened employer, hastening to
the spot, found him silting disconso
lately on lite fragments, and exclaim
ing: "l'o dv! Lord, boss, l"se sorty 1
broke dat ice, I is sartam."
"I'liclc Charles,'' said Jiinuiy, a si
vcun.M. the tiTiiev day, "can yr u
tell me we why the sun seisin the
westat night and rises in the east in
the morning?'' "Pshaw-.''staid I neb
Cearlen. "ih first lool you meet
'-an tell you ttiat." "Yes, Uncle.
that's w by 1 asked you."
' 'r!l0 J;llmrv .Y5 says: "A
Kiallk,, Ul.K. mikn iK-M, :, .. i
his cellar Kiiday night, and getting
iiuietlv out ot bed, so as not to
arouse his wife, secured a pistol ami
crept cautiously out on the loot",
where he closed tho latch after hint
and remained there until davlight ia
,,.,...,. .Vtv."'
' '
; A lady's husband being away
from home died while absent. Onu
"I " H',.-IV'.
t . .lis. I... i,. r n..-t.! t..
I I,.,.l......r .! I.
. . ..v. ....t....... ., ..v......
r.uii.il h..- ..t .loot. it .i,tl it-h..n I... ii..
- ...... .. ....
t I i.....til... O.....I. 1
.s.. . ... - .v....
icd the neighbor to wait until she had
tiiiii-hc.l her dinner, when he would
hear some bawling.
1 "Ucorgic," asked a minister of
one his parishioner's little hots.
"where is your sister Minnie?"
"tt'inc to heaven, sir."
"What! is s,c .lead?"
'Oh, no, sir! she went to buy a
cent'.s worth of matches."
Why, you said she had gone to
Well' replied ftcorgio, "you said.
nisi snniiay, mat maieiies wer..
1 made in heaven; no 1 thought rba
went there."
A drug clerk in Newark recently
put up a prescription for a young la
dy friend, of a dj.e ot castor oil. Sim
innocently impiircd Iioa- it could ho
taken without tasting it. He. prom
ised to explain to her and in tr.o
meantime propo-ud to drink a glass
i-oiUuitli him. When ihey Lai
riui:heii, he said :
"My .'nend, you Lave taken your
.,,,"",1 ,iri ui"kit
ow it.
Tut young lady was, nearly crazy.
and cried. Oh, ibar, oh, dmr: ;t
..-..I.. i'..r ..... .ir i ....... ....i .i... :
,. i . i. ,,,-... t ".HHP. ,IIU Oil, ttf
- - v
was for iii v net her.
A Western editor, ntering hm
o;!iee, and seeing hi apprHutice bov
culling some ipiecr caper.-, called to
".Jim, what are vou doing on tin
j i!o..r?"
" h-, sir, I haw had a shotrk.
! "A shock?'
i cs, sir.'
"What kind of a shoe W"
' .... . ".
" hv, Mr. said thj lad, "apiugt
"one of vour subscribers came in du-
' rig your absence aid he iwed for
'two "years subscription paid it
j and also paid another year in sl-
We furnish TjOO Envelopes f
ood rpiality, with caH printMl on
i.s -
Job Workol'all kinds execute)
iin tbo latf-t stylet and at the ojr
poffitL terms.

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