Fair play. [volume], September 18, 1873, Image 1

About Fair play. [volume] (Ste. Genevieve [Mo.]) 1872-1961

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

                
S, HEHBY SMITH, Proprietor.
orrtCE ox mebciiant stt.kkt.
South Sid of Publto Square.
fpnm OF STJBSCEIPTI01T:
rt-Club rites do not apply to the city of Ste.
"IF."
If oittliur with thU little worn-out shoe
'And rearlrt .locking lying on my knee,
I Cm the little ft bad ittw.l thnrngh
lhel-t fates that lie 'twixt Heaven and
I eouM be reooneileil and hanpy. too.
And look with glad rye toward the Jaejwr sea.
If in the morning, when the sons oriiirds
Itrtniml us of a music far more sweet,
I limned for his pretty broken word
And for the music of his dunpli-d reel.
I e.ul.f be almost happy though I beard
So answer, and saw but his vacant seat .
I could be ulad if, wbentte day is done.
And all us cures and heartaches laid away,
1 enold look westward to the hiddeB sun,
nd with a heart full of deep yearnings say:
"T-rint I'm neanrto my little one
By Just the travel of a single itny."
If I could know those little feet were eho-l
In sandals wrought or light in better lands.
And that the footprints of a tender t.o.1
lltan fide by side with his in golden sands,
I could Iww cheerfully and Liss the ro.1
Since Benny was in wiser, better hands.
If he were dead I would not sit to-day
Ind stain wi:h tears the wee sock on my knee,
I would not kiss the liny nuoe and say :
"Bring back my little boy to in; ! '
I would be patient, knowing 'tis t.od s way.
And that He'd lead me to him o'er death's
silent sea.
lint oh! to know the feet once pure ami white
The haunts of vice have boldly ventured in t
The hands tnat should have battled for the right
Have been wrung crimson in the paths of sin !
lad should he knock at Heaven's ilior to-night
j fear my boy could hardly enter in !
WORTH FIVE HUMHtED MILLIONS!
Av uslv business. I tried
not to think
of it, but couldn't succeed.
My friends implored me to submit to the
uiieratioii. They urged me to make up
mvuiiiid like a man; but I thought ol
Jiih awl lib counselors, and remained as
obstinate a a mule. I eonsidcntl myself
a niartvr wantonly imposed upon a vic
tim, oil who-e unfortunate cansi-s sur-n-ons
Iwlievcil they might make any cx
lieriuii'iit with impunity. Iwas re-olved
that thev should find themsmes mistaken.
.So. when Dr. Humous in hi rough man
ner, would sav, '-Those toes liui-t come
off" I would call him "brute," and
threaten to turn him out ; but he only
laughed, and alway displayed a callous
ness to my sHU'cring that nearly drove me
uud.
They'll lie the death of you,' he said
one ilar.
Pi-haw! humbug!"
Can't live a month unless yon have
Vm taken off. That's my professional
opinion."
At last after several siia-modio efforts at
heroism, these memor.ilile words escaeil
me: "1 skill have it done to-morrow!"
The iierspiratinn rolled off my forehead as
I spoke.
"Bravo!" cried Dr.itaekes, in ec-taey.
all will soon lie right now."'
I could not arrive at any such conclu
sion. During the remainder of tliat day
and following night I suffered agony. All
sorts of fearful weapons.iised by surgeons
in the exercie of their hideous duties
lei-xil in array before my mental vision.
1 underwent iii imagination the tortures ot
amputation a thonsind times. A tht a
one toe was cut off with due formality, the
work would le recommenced seriatim on
the others again and again.
I cannot reiueiiiU'r how I reached the
hospital where the operation was to lie
ierfoniied. I had afterward a confu-itl
idea of Mug laid out upon a table in reg
ular old-fashioned style, and hearing, in
gruffer tones tlian ever, the voice of Biun
pus. I fancied, too. tliat he made me take
some sort of a concoction with a strange
suflitcatiug odor. Fear then entirely mas
tered me. Objects lieeame indi-tinet. and
I liad not the jiower of ob-erving what
was going on.
I was roused from this nariial stmior by
the sight of a strange face another doctor
I at first supposed him to be. I rcniciiilcr
lieing surprised, even then, at the curious
resemblance he bore to Itumpu--. My
medical atteiuLmts had left the room for a
moment to consult iioii some (mint ot
practice, ami while they were absent lie
sided up to me with a smile.
"An unpleasant position, sir';"'
Katlicr. Cau'tlw helped though."
"A mistake, sir a serious mi-take. 1
conld have cured you without any of this
work. These surgeons are iierfect old
fogies half a dozen centuries behind the
age."
1 looked at him anxiously, willing to
grasp at any straw. In fact, I yet had a
lurking suspicion of being htmibuggeil by
Btuupus.
"I've thouirht as much niVM'lf." said I.
Without L'iviii" anv :inwer be in-sed
Ws land twicu or thrii-e over my discsiscd
limit, a jirocos tliat inMantly relieved me
mini pain.
"Come now." he sugge-ted, "get up,
It us move lieforc these wi-cien-s return.
Xo need of anv butchering here."
"fcir!" 1 exclaimed, in a burst of grate
ful enthusiasm, " you are my guardian
i n tr.il
ecaied from the hoiive without lie
ing oi-erveu. ami waikiil up Itroadwav
toward my own hnlgings. I did not feel
tlie slightest pain. I thought it proiicr
then and then: to express m'v inabilitvto
recounn'iise the stranger for his services,
but. More I liad Iuilf uttered the sentence
lie said :
"In want of monev. i h? Mention the
ntiinlier of millions in a word, and in an
other your ih is granted."
in nave a Itunilretl. 1 replied, jo-
sjngiy.
" Ioiie. How will vou have it
I stared at my new friend, and. for the
nr-t time, examined him attentivelv. He
was a man of ino-t gentleuuiilv addre-s,;
hut. doubtless, a lunatic. He smiled af
lalily as if in answer to my thoughts, and
eiciamieu :
"Well. I must sav "Ooil-bv ti.-r... Vn
inay expect the gold. 1 shall send it over
lo-mslit. Aheu.
With tlieM! wonlshc left me abnintlv.
H . 1 . t . , , . 1 "
- nun i as a -Marco nan-, sain i to niv
self, looking after him.
treadled home musing oer niv strange
ailventure. It was onou-rli to make anv
man iMinder mill nlb--t. Tlioiifli I reiiil
little heed to the millions spoken of so ex-
nivagaiHiy nv mv singular tneiul. still my
own sitilden and miraculous m-overvtrom
a flm-ae nrouoimeed mortal bv the nbvsi-
cians was a proveil fact. There could be
no skepticism here. I was. nevertheless.
perplexed, and not a little confuted, du
nng the remainder of the dav. I really
Hid not know what to think of it at all.
After nightfall. I became even more ret
Iessand uneasy. I cannot .-ay now wheth
er IwMted my promised visitor to make
Ins apptarauce or not. My ionseielici
smote me for having formed 'his acquaint
ance. At Ix'-t. he was a su-picious char
acter, and iHrliaps had dealing with evil
spirits. It was much in vogue then in
Aew- York for men to lie iuilueuceil bv
Rood spirits, whv not bv evil spirits uUoi
iw-as mterrnpteU in these and similar re
flections by a -ingle rapat thedoor a sud
uen. solemn r.i an ominous rap. The
sound made me feel chill v. I guessed who
the rappvr- a., and I w:Ls right. " Come
n. said I. tremulou-ly.
He entered, smiling'as blandlv as ever,
t started invohintarilv: for he looked -o
like Btuupus tliat I thought it was that
worthy individual tome to complete his
F operation.
Cot the money:" pointinj; with liU
FAIE
VOL. II.
thumb over his right shoulder to a large I
uirty if stunlv satellites, who were carrv
nig in a numlx-r of ponderous Inigs. whicli
they dropited with a loud erah Uiou tile
floor. Others had huge bundles of bank
notes. At first I fairly dislielievcd nivovni
eyes I must In; dreaming. I'rc-cntlyone
of the!iags became unfastened whether
by accident or on purpose I do not know
but hundreds of broad, glittering twenty-dollar
gold pieces rolled upon the floor.
The sight gave me a sensation like that
cati-ed by a rush of blootrto the lu-ad. I
took up some of the pieces and examined
them. I weighed them on the tip of my
linger, and rung them over and over again
on the table. They m-cuhiI ino-t tempt
ingly genuine, (iold ha-a charm for the
eyes" that I never n-alizil till then. I ua
a'lroor man. What could I not do with
Mich a trca-ure?
My vi-itor g:ive me time to coii-idcr.
He hummed a tune, and examiunl some
lHiks lying about. -He must lie the
devil." I thought. And yet. the longer I
looked :t thekigs still eoniing in. the more
ardently did I wi-h to make lliein mine.
" I may outwit him." I reflected. " If he
wants "m; to In: hi- slave, he will find him
self ini-takeu. 1 may coinpromi-c for the
Iircscnt. and turn him adrift by-and-by!
laiig tlie fellow! he looks at me ainl
-miles, as if he could read the secrets ot
my soul !"
" What services am I to render for this y
I a-ked at length, with -oine he-itatiou.
"Oh. we'll sK-.ik of tliat hereafter."
I watched him clo-ely as he went out.
He had not the sign of n'hoof.aud his legs,
without any exaggeration, wen; tluxe of a
well-made iiian.
As he left, an uudclinahlc scn-ation ot
bodily iKiiu seized me. I could not sav
that 1 felt it in any particular limb, but it
thrilli-d throtigh my entire frame
like a convulsion orsparu,andfon'Warneil
me of future suffering.
I was alone with the gold. I rolled
some of it out. counted, and returned it. I
examined and rc-examiucd the massive
ingots. I daintily handled a few of the
notes, and found them to lie five hundred
dollar bills. I then put them all lurk,
covered llicm can-fully, and sat down to
think. Tlie ireinendo'us power that such
wealth eould give me fon-cd itself upon
my mind. I became fascinated with the
charm. The demon of avarice wa- at
work even then, for I conceived plans for
doubling and trebling the enormous sum
1 K)sscs-cd. In contemplating such a va-t
tn'a-un1 with itsexi-teneu rapidly before
me I soon lost sight of conscientious scru
ples. They vani-hed that night, and for
ever. In-fore I clo-cd my eyes in sleep.
I was on foot irarly next morning. I re
solved to depoit a" largo portion of my
moiii-v in tin v:irioti. Ii:iiil:s of the i-itv
the notis, e-m-ciallv. I was afraid of In
ing. In onler to avoid suspn-ton it ln--
ame neivssarv to employ agents. Ihey
wen- found without much dillicultv; and
i week aftcrwanl I had the sati-tiu-tiou ot
knowing that I had depo-itcd -ome twenty
millions in titty banks of New York under
tirtv dill'en-nt naines.
The excitement in Xew York wa- mar
velous. Such an influx of curn-ncv had
not been known within the memory ot
man. It liccaiuc a ilrug in tlie market.
Mv next step was to purchu-c a hon-o
1-itili avenue. ecnil were lor sale
mil I
chose, a solitary one far up town,
a spacious lire-proof vault in tlie
with
hn-emt-ut. Into it I graduallvn-movcd all
my gold. I selected Fifth aveilue liecau-o
it "was more n-tin-d. and 1 would liele-s
noticed there than in other parts of the
ity. I still rclaineil. However, my old
n-nlencc. lor tlie purjHi-e oi min-acimg
bii-iness. Iiidcetl, I oik-ihiI numerous olli-
ir down town, and apiK-arrd in each un
der ilifH-n-nt names anildi-guixs. In all I
did. I workeil Willi exfn-me c:iutiou. ami
ven the men I einploved knew little or
nothing of my aftairs. 1 was -ati-ticd on
thi point from the result of numerous ex
periments to which I n--orted in onler to
te-t the extent of the di-eoveries their curi-o-itv
unlimited them to make. I iimiI toen-
joygoiugdown to Wall stn-ct. and then:
miy up ine av.maoie sun-k oi a coniiauy.
raise the pn-mium to a fabulous sum, sell
out, mid then n-ali.e an imiiicti-c profit.
Tlie merchants wen- all agog; for rtiev
wen', of course, unable to detect the under
current that disturln-d the once even tide
of eouiiiienv. I had their paper to any
amount, and could have ruined men of the
highest standing. -rators and jobliers
wen- in a lM-riK'tual fever ot excitement.
It would Ik- tedious to tell of tlie'iiuui
K-rless schemes in which I was engaged
the colossal business I iirried on in trade
the va-t speculations bv which I n-ah.cd
additional millions. Let it sullii-e that I
doubled and even trebled the original
amount of my wealth. I tried in vain to
make a nmch estimate of what I was worth,
Months liasscu away, during which mv
love of gold rapidly increased. I had a
craving to see. to handle the glittering
metal, fcvery com was ot value to my
eves, jmt iwyouiiiius instinct. I nan now
a demon's dc-ire to exen-ise my power
to injure, and it poibIv to di-stniy. I
liclil no friendly communications "with
anv living soiu. ami nan svmpatuv lor
none.
During tins tune I suffered eoutiuuallv
from the spa-miMlic pains I have de-eribeil;
and 1 iK-gaii to su-K-ct that I was not nuli-
eallv cured of the di-i-a-e with wliicli I liad
jirev iouly Ih-cii aluicteil. They wen- n-nd-
mir. snooting
iPiiui- luinuiij iiirougii
limbs, breast and brain leaving behind
bodilv exhaustion and mental desrair.
1 was pondering over the-e matters one
night a-I sit in my vault, counting and
recounting my tens of thnti-and ar
ranging them in heaps fi-a-ting iny eyes
with the gorgeous Kvtacle acconling" to
niv daily cil-tom. when I tuok upaceident
ally the book containing my lsmk ac
counts. Tlie grand total exliiliiteil a de-po-it
of Si0.(HXI,0U0. "Twentv million-!
rwentv minions: imtapuetiiey wouiu
make Iiere! I'll draw them oiit! I'll
break all the banks! Whew! what a sen
sation that will create! Ha! ha!
"Ha! ha!" rebounded from the other
end of the room. These echoes ot the
room so startled me that I turned round
expecting to see a vi-itor. Xo one was
there, yet I trembled with affright, and
hurried ui-tairs. imagining that some one
had discovered my retreat. Small chance
of that, though. fori kept the liou-e locked
... i t i . i : .
.urn mi iiiiiiiau iciiig cwr eiHcrcii ii
but myself.
The'idea of ruining- the bank became a
settled determination, and the verv next
morning; I was among mv agents arrang
ing preliminaries, specifying the exact day.
hour, and even moment when the act
should le consummated. It was a feasible
plan : for. as I have said, the kmks liad
eiaiidcd to such an extent on the strength
of my depo-its. that the sudden withdraw
al of my pmiicrry in gold, with all the in
terest accumulatetl. mu-t intalliblv break
them.
I instructed my agents to bring the
money from tlie kmks to- various places
down town. This wa done as well and
as secretly as'I could have desired, and in
the night time I watched its removal to
Fifth avenue by other parties. . laborious
tak ! The eartmen liad no idea tluit tho-e
heavy lioxes contained aught else than the
onlinarv "roods their IaleN designated.
I waited anxiously for the result of this
oneration. Two davs cLinseil. and by 12
o'clock on the thinl iuy plot began to yield
its fruits. The new "spread like vildlire
over the tin- tliat the banks were all
STE. GENEVIEVE,
brcakim-. Tin- iicw-iiaicr.'
iticd an tili-
tion after each cxiilti-iou. I'eoiile ni-hed
tramp-ally for their money, but found only
elo-ed dmr-. 'I hey bur-"t them om-ii fiiri-ou-ly,
and found nothing within but
benches, de-ks and account Imok-. The
oIliciaN had fled in dismav. carrying oil
what wa- left.
The ruin of the banks wa- followed by a
fcirfnl eri-is. Mcn-liants of every de-.-rii-tion
were siisjK-iuling payment" by hun-ilnil-.
Trade-men could not seil their
goods. Hou--holder- could not get their
rent. In the -pace of one wi-ek flu- panic
had arrived at such a height that the inhalt
itants wen- Ie:iving the city.
The laltoring cla wen- starving, and
held iiiimeu-e iuas nieelins in the l'ark
to devise means for their relief.
In the mid-t of thN excitement I wan
dent i about exuliing -ei-n-tly in the ruin I
had can-ed. While walkiiig'oue day down
ISroadway. I wa.-tartleil by suddenly be
ing brought laiv to face with the founder
of my wealth. He brought strangely to
my remenibranii' the tin-e and form of
liunipH-. who-e very exi-tenci-I had for
gotten. I did not'like the ex preion of
hi-itiimteiianit- now: it wore a satanii
look and I triitl to pas- by unnoticed.
Myellbrt provttl fruitle-.-: his eyes were
fixtil upon me. He spoke abruptly, and
without any gnt-ling. in a gmtl'voice :
"I have' work for you. The day after
to-morrow large -ton-an- cxeeted: you
mu-t have agents at all the depot-, anil a-the-e
stores arrive in the city ' the word-hi-sit!
through his clo-ed twth "you
mu-t have them de-troved."
"What! -tane out the citv!'' 1 ex
claimed: " 1 dare not !"
You mu-t : I onler it."
But the thing is impo ible." I contin
ued, pn-tending not toiiotiit-his la-t wonl-.
for I felt their truth.
"I have other slaves tn-idc you. fool !
I can give you every a--i-tainvyoti require.
Be at vonf ollht; t"-morrow morning at 10
ocioi-k reauv to ntt-ive vi-uors ironi nie.
All they wmt i' the money."
So saying he left me to my own n-llee-tions.
and horrible rellit-tions they wen-.
As I returned home I ran over every pos
sible plan by which I could avoid his com
mands and -hake oil" his influence. There
wa- no way of doing tlii- except by giving
up my gold, and I would have parted soon
er wiih my life.
I waited impatiently the next morning
for my pnini-ed vi-iiors. They came at
the appointed hour dark, taciturn men.
They nvcintl tin; money without any
comment, and had it immediately takeii
away. Then, in abject terror at what I
li:id done. 1 lied to liiy own home.
I cannot say exactly how the deed was
aecompli-h(tI: I was 'afraid to make in
quiries, and remained sit-ret in my prison
home, dreadm"- 1 -i-an-elv knew what. I
stole out at intervals to pick up the rumors
that flew with startling rapidity from
mouth to mouth. The "citizens secuntl
alarmitlat some great impending calamity.
I -.!..... a. .1 . .. t ..
m mi pan-. aiiAiou- ians inev simm in
groups at the corners of the stnt-ts. talk
ing eager! v. 1 drew near oneot nie Knots
to li-ten. and beard it said fhat certain
'speculators had bought up iinmen-e stores
ot provision niviitly imiugiit to tne city:
that the mob. excititl to madness, had
broken open their warehouses : that fear
ful riots en-mil. during which the wan--liou-es
wen- burnt with all thev contained.
Exclamations of hoiror c-eaiutl from the
hvstanilers at this announcement. They
lielievitl the city doomitl. ami thought it
prudent to leave in time.
u it It a skill and preci-iou mar win no
dit-meil utterlv tiibuloiisltv fho-e who e:in-
not comprehend the source whence these
men derived their power, the infernal tltttl
was n-K-attl again and again, ineex-
IK-iiseniade.-iliitge inroad upon my weaiiu.
but I iiecileil not. lor 1 wa- miH-nti iiy a
stubborn determination to accompli-h the
liaboli-.d work in which I was engagnl.
1 statiomtl agents at all the inlets to the
city. They ' piin-ha-nl food of every de
scription on the fal-e jdea that they did so
for the lienetit of the starving populace.
Then followitl the ruin eouleuiplatitl.
Xight after night the sky was ntl with tlie
glan- of burning wan-hou-es tilled with
proviion. 3Ianyof them w-ore destroyed
by the mob. now thoroughly ferocious
from hunger and the thought that others
wen-profiting by its sufferings. My plot
was lieing completely carried out. The
ix-oiile seemed to have thrown n-ason
overboanl. and uneoiisciou-lv wen; aiding
me in my deigus. Telegraphic, messages
wen sent to Boston. Philadelphia, and
other large cities, imploring a i-tance:
but their condition wa- as liad as our-.
Then-also -tarvation wa-staring men in
the face. My agents were abniad every
where. Thev did not leave a stone nil
turned, for thcr bought up gniin. cat ll
and vegetables in di-taut plan--, and ef
fectually prevented any ellicient aid lieing
renilenti to tlie metropolis.
My lakirs wen- almost over they were
more than completed now bv the mob.
The fearful extt-ss to which it n-sorted
ilanned iieait-ful citicns. and all who
could were preivarmg ro escaiic ironi tne
fated citv. Davhvdavthepanio incn-aMtl
The life of anv one known to po-.-ess food
was not safe for an hour. Iiwand onler
wen' set at dcliamv. It was a coii-umnia-
tion in whicli I silcntlv exultttl.
liiniHt'ttl, I remained concealed in
mv se-ludtl home, waiting for the end.
It did not arrive fast enough. People, it
is true, wen- leaving in thousands, but
they did so quietly. I could not see them
I could not mark the dmum-hed num-
Iters remaining I could not gloat snlli
cientlv over their alarm and their sillier-
ings. I could only hear the upnar with
out tlie riot ami tumult mat day
and night shook the heavens. The bodilv
pain I now . endured excited this IV
veri-li suspense, and roused it to a pitch
of frenzy. My passions were beyond all
restraint. "'This ruin.' I said, "mu-t lie
consummated at once : and my desire to
drive even' living soul trom the metniixv
Us n- witli the dillicultic-S tliat stood in
thewav. How could it lie done? There
wa- but one answer by disease.
The idea came to me at first as a whi
m-red suggestion. It was po ible. and
might K- tried. Xay. as I thought the
matter over, it seemed icasmie. and inn
lx' tried. The prompting- of my black
heart assumed a lwlder and more daring
tone, and the wonl- continually ring m
mv ears loud and louder with everv mo
ment's reflection "Poi-on the Croton
reservoir !"
Poison the Croton re-ervoir ! 'a dev
ili-h scheme.
But monev did it. Ha! ha! trom
men's souls downwanl monev can buy up
ill. I could tell how I went up to the re-
i-civing reservoir, and cautiou-ly broaelicd
mv nlan to a dark-Iookuur individual su
lK'rintending- the works. The preflered
kilt was too temntinir lor In virtue. At
lir-t he refused, and even threatened, but I
onlv held ui the sold lK-fore his eyes. He
tunied nale and trembled, and I doubled
the amount of mv hrilie. already enormous
He hesitated, and succumbed. I la ! lut
Gold can work miracles.
The deed was done, and tliat same night
sickness and death liegan to spread a black
pall over the citv.
One night when I had gone out to note
the pm-ms of de-tniction and desertion
1 -can-bed long and in vain for any human
creature, lieeoinmir bolder as I nrocettleil
I traversed Firth avenue, walked along
Broadway as far as Union Square, and
there sat down on oue of tlie benches
Politically Independent Open to all Parties Controlled by None.
MO., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER IS. 1873.
was an unearthly "-ort'of a night. The
trees drooM-d. anil the whole -celie looked
wan and sickly in the moonlight.
Ha! What" wa- that cnt-ping creci
ing stealthily through the tnt-'r A ru-t-ling
sound -tarthtl me. and sent an icy
-hivcr through my lione-. I retreated. or.
rather, tottered liiick to the .-hade, out of
which I had ventured, and glantl at a form
thai, all unconscious of my presence,
moved as-as-in-like along. It resembled
-ome uncouth lK-a-t more than a man yet
man it was. Pre-cii'.ly another, and
another, and then many more appi-an-d in
-ight all glidiiigonwanlin the same quiet
way. Siuldeiilv they bounded in the air
with onoacconi. whooping and -bricking
in a manner that made lb-' it-hm- ring
again. I was in tin- mid-t ofatmopot
maniac. stark, .-taring maniac-!
lake pri-oiiers just e-caped from captiv
ity, they danced madly about in exulx-r-anceof'lheir
joy. They shouted and gi!
lientl uiimcauiiiiugly one at the other, and
-o often nppnachitri he -pot where, only
half-couiralcd. I wa- crouching, that I
fanciitl detection inevitable. It was a hid-,
i-ous midnight merry-making. My own
iu-tincts wen- yet partially human, and I
n-coihtl with liornir froni'.-uch a -ight.
After I had endured an hour of terrible
-u-lM-n-e they pa-sitl on. But loieg after
they left the '-quare I could hear theiryell
far." tar down the dark street, nor did I
can; to stimuli! their voice- wen- lo-t in
the distance. I wicil the dank iM-r.-pim-tion
from my fait-, and a I toiicbitl my
Ion 1ic;kI methought it had bettime wrink
litl ami -hrivcled. as lliough yi-:ir- had
worn thcm-elves out in Iho-c pa ing mo
ments of terror.
I did not stir out for a week after this
adventure. Day after day I li-ti-ncd for
-ome token of life without. Theocca-ioii-al
patter of rain was the only noi-e that
broke the monotony of that' awful still-iie-s.
The railway whi-tle wa- hu-httl: not
even the sound o"f a horse's hoof striking
the pavement, or the liarking of a dog
(tiiild lie heanl; the rolling of car and om
nibus had long since cea-tl. Xew York
was vvhollv dc-citcd.
Sati-lieif of that fact. I ventured out. It
was a blu-tcriiig sort of day. The wind
Kline tearing along the empty -tntd- a- if
it was po-cscd with devil. Then, di
gu-titlat liudiiig no living object wlicrmn
tovent its fury.it would, in -uddi-n fn-.ik-.
turn abruptly into bv trect. anil moan
pa ionatclv " down their narrow chan
nel towanl either river. I liegan to f.t-1
that the very bla-t- of heaven would lie
companion- I was suffering from the
same racking, rending jiain. It had 1k--come
settleil now. and wa nlmo-t Ik-vohiI
enduring : it animaleil me with the spirit
of a demon.
I reached w hat had ont ln-en thegn-:it
thoniughtan-of the metropolis: and I h
remeinlK-r that it was with something akin
to delight that, standing near I 'race
church. I notion) the complete de-ertion
of Broadway. As I walked onward I
found that ihe store on ich side wen-oiM.-n.
a if business were yet lieing i-arriitl
on. Silks and satins, rich and nire cloth-.
mil cotly lucrchandi-e of every ilc-cniH
tion adormtl tlie windows, mio wiucii no
yes save mine were ever destined lo look
ig-ain. Hie late-t fa-liiou. nie newc-i
t vie of hat or mat might still In seen in
coii-picuous plait-s.aml 1 laughed aloud to
think that site i damtv "aniieius w roi
and niolder when; thev hung. Some had
Ix-cn toni down : ami tlie broken windows
thiii) that arms had bit-n thrut in to
arrv off the liootv: but tin; plunderers, I
in their hurry to escape, had reliniUi-hed
the prizes, leaving the .-tnt-tsczinx't."! "itii
UK lor Hie wiiiti. ill one oi n miiciiu
freak-, to whirl away. Peering out. le
ncath pile of du-t. I somctinie detectitl a
o-tiy jewel, ami i wouiu iiiiiiicuei
rra-n it. a- it its value was gn-ater men
than the riibbi-h among which it lay.
I traveled on. Itoumlthe diMirs ot tlie
Metropolitan and St. Nicholas Hotels open,
and. U-fon them, crirriage laden with
trunk and packages, waiting. iH-rchancc.
lor phantom iia engcrs. i ne iiorser lav
on the pavement liarne eiland dcjid. In
verv ilint-non omniiiu-es ami coacucs.
tuts and ilis someovcrttirncd.soine ui-
right were forsaken by their on ners. and
left to decay.
The doors ot the theaters stood inviting-
lv oiM-n, and flaming handbills on the
Itroadwav aiinouncnl flic revival ol an
imciciit comedy. Ha! ha! ha! It was
true ; and devils wen to lie t lie aciors.
I arrived at the l'ark. 'J he t.ity Hal!
loomitl up di.-inally in the mid-t of a few
witlient) tnt-s. The clock had stopjMtl
ind tminti-d to the hour ot Yi. I he gn-:it
Ik-11 was mute, and the wind, a it howled
around the dome, es-ayi-d in vain to move
that iron tongue of wanting. It hadeca-ed
to siieak.
. . . . . . ... ,
l iKis-cti nv me news oimx aim saw ex
tras posted on it bulletin, announcing:
A GREAT A2.I AUKIIlMi f-'IOSIs:
SEVKXTY-V1VE HNKi ISKOKKX L'f SI-
JllJbl A.MPILSI.l !
Till rilUT MERCHANTS IN XEW YORK -CS1-EXD-
1SG p.wjiest : :
DESERTION or THE CITY ! ! !
ETC., ETC., ETC.
These iKiH-rs were dated six weeks pn-
vious. How they gloated over tlie wnvk
in huge capita)--: and how they would
have gloated if they could liave detailed a
tithe of what I liave witucs-tl!
1 ia-stl bv churches, and their doors
nlone were clo-e! lirmlv clo-ttl as if
they had liecn swung to with a giant's
font. Instinctively I looked up at Trini
ty's spire. 1 fanciitl that it moved that
it shook tottered was about to f ill and
crn-h me. It was only a fancy: yet I hur
ried mv pace for a stnmgc chill crept over
meat "the thought of halting Iiciicatli it-
gloomy sliadow. The wind kept me coin-
panvall the wliile. ami .-wepi upevcry
stnt-t to gn-et me as I went along.
At length I naehcd the .Battery, and
there it blew in fitful hurricanes, rushing
out niadlv over the water. I could staree
ly hold my footing : the rough waves ni-e
uigniv to wnere i stood, even 10 me
distant -bores of .Icrsev and Staten I-land
hips, or rather hulks, covered the surface
of the sea and drifted hither and thither,
without helm or rigging. Not one wa
moored not a living creature it mid be
seen upon their decks. They looked like
ail armv of battle liorse let loo-e. They
charged thev recoiled they rallied they
hurled tliem-elves lunoniy one agam-i
the other: splinters were flung high in
the air thev shivered siiukro.-o cra-h-
ed sunk, and rose again in fragments !
The unbridled storm, snorting in its pride
and power, careered madlv round and
round the Kiv. directing its wrath now
here, now there, so tliat the ocean repre
sented one pgantie wreck.
Over this scene was spread a yellow,
sicklv. faded canonv the reflection of a
setting a dving sun": for. in truth. I never
thought to look mion its ri-e again, m
the wet heavy clouds lifted them-elves up
in Cmta-tic sfiapcs. Anon they took the
form of the golden treasure in my vault
even as I had often piled them up mag
uitietl now into mountains upon moun
tains, l nev shone like nale virgin gold.
The two scenes were alike identical:
except that hen- a vi-ible sea ot destruc
tion rolled and roared at mv feet. A hor
rible fear seized mv soul I gazed awe
struck spell-bound confounded: and. as
I thus cazed. behold! the -liadowof a man
standing out in dark relief again-t the glit
tering sky! It approached. My destroyer
stood utiore me : in liKcnes 10 .uuuip-
u was more toreible than ever, it was
Bunipus tnuisforuicd imo a devil !
PLAY.
Hi sardonic -mile was changed into a
look of tiendi-h triumph. 1 knew that I
wa- lo-t utterly lo-t.
There wa- a ikiii-c.
" How like you my power': he slid at
length. " you" have "u-tl it well my demon'-
power of gold."
"Back, licnd! our time ha-not come
Vet."
11a ! ha ! ha!" and his mocking laugh
-oundnl -hrillv akive the -torm that en-'
circled u-. and the noi-e of the wave- that .
tkcilt reniiist hiimv Im-iii-mIIi our lit-f.
I turned to go. but he caught me by the
ri-i. -a nig :
Not -o; you are mine now. What '. .
you don't like me unma-kitr:" Hi- form bury, and now hi- clever and hilarious
-it-mitl to dilate as he soke. j -ki fehe- i-oiiMi!-e nndcr.- iii the fiirther-
1 made a di-er:ite effort to free iny-elf. i most end- of our country. or.as the .-tump
and succeeded in n-lea-ing my arm: but ( .-M-.iker.siy-. he i-"kiiowiitioin therok-hegra-pitl
nieagiiiu and agiiiu. I -trug- Ihiund -bore- of Mailt. to the golden -aml-
led with all the terrific energv of ile-pair.
With our arm- cla-ixtl niiunl cjich other"-wai-t
we wn--thtl for victory. To nie it
wa-a strife for eternal life or death, and
the thought lent me superhuman strength.
1 felt hi- hot hn-ath upon my face, and t
could sit- hi- eves, like burning coal-. I
tla-hiiig with infernal malice. Neither i
-poke, ami for some moments neither '
gained anv advantage. 1 soon di-cow-n-d
that siirelv but safelv. he was dragging nn
toward tin nlge of the Battery. Kvcry
moment brought us clo-er cio-cr clo-er.
We wen- on the brink now. The rearing
of the storm sounditl faintly in my cars.
A moment more during wliicli nttilbt--
liou-of the past i-.mie up with startling
reality lieforc me a moment more, and I
lo.-t niy balaiin-. Still holding on to mv
enemy" with a death-grip. I felt iny-elf fall
ing tailing, down down down ah! it
.-it-mitl to unfathomable depth-!
I did not die: I did not even lo-eitm-scinu-ne
. For a long. long time flu
water rushed around my head, and into
my mouth, ears, and eye, giving me
agonizing scn-ation- ol" pain. Anon the
peculiar noi-e of waves, bubbling and
spta-hing about, changed to sounds of
inu-ic. 1 knew then 1 wasilrowiiiug: but.
-tnuige to -ay. with that knowledge aH
-iillering pa-"cd away. The pa--ion of
my soul wen lulled at la-t. Borne along
liy the iindeiciiri-ent of the Mt-:iii lying
oh my back, with eye- staring fixedly m
ward I could -it- tin-golden light stream
ing down through tin- water, interrupted
now and then a- I swept liencalli some
drifting wreck. Again there wasa change.
The inu-ic c-a-cd. and in it- stead 1 hi-.ird
a clattering of tongue- a very B-iIh-I all
talking together cimfiiMtlly. The lir-t
words I could di-tingui-h were spoken in
a loud voice
" If - all over."
"Thank t'od!" I eaculatnl.
You may con-idcr your life savitl.'
was the reioiiicr.
"Surclv"." I thought, "that mu-t 1m-the
voice of" my old friend Diilymu- Drat
acke !"'
Didymii. dear." .-aid I. timidly, after
a paii-c"i that yoit'f"
" Ye.-.""
Am I sal'eV'
I'erfit-tlv."
"tlh. I haVesiillent) such aw lid agony !"
Bah!" slid Bumpii-. joining in nm-
vcrsition: no one suffers jKiin under the
influence of chloroform."
Chloroi'onn ! A light bnike in upon me.
Thev had given mechlonitorm ! I looked
down at mv foot it was tightly kindagi d.
I turned my eyes fowanl Biimpti and In-
as-i-tantv tiiev were wiping uicir in-irii-
inenfs.
My tiH-s, sir my toes had Ih-cii taken
oil"! A'. Y. Sunday A'ews.
Tlie Sharpest Oiilldeiice Trick Yet.
A Baltimore woman did it a "young,
licautiful. ait-ompli-lntl. ami ladv-Iike
woman " And the wav she aittiiiipli-hitl
it wa- a- follows : She" went into a jcwel-
rv store to make some liurcha-os. but lx
Iii" at :i lo-s what to select, -he lieggedtlie
jeweler to -end a clerk with her tuber
home with a uuaiititv of line goods. Her
reque-t was aitttlttl to. and the woman
and clerk and Jewelry drove to a large
mansion in the onl-kirt- of the city. The
clerk was not ainuaintcd with the locaHty.
but the hoii-e and g-anleiis and gravehtl
walks and door-plate, w it It adoctor s iiami
on il. looked highlv respectable, and tin
two went into the liou-c. Thi-v wen met
bv an elderlv gentleman, the doctor.' and
tin ladv look linn a-ideanil had -onie very
-iirni-t confidential cofivcr-ation with liitu.
The clerk supposed it wa in n-fen-mt to
itimpleliiig the pureha-e of the jewelry,
which was dctio-itcd on a tiiter-t:ible in
flu; room. It happemtl tluit the consulta
tion was of a verv ditlcrcnt ciiaracier. as
will lire-cntlv annear. The itinver-atioli
i-uditl ami me itocior liiviicii nie t u n. ono
in adjoining room to look at some curios.
itie- tor a moment, lite surrounimigs
wen- so verv n-siKt-table tluit the clerk
went nn-u-nirting of any trai. The lady
reniainetl in the reception riKim. but there
., j ..f ; 1 .1..., '1-1...
was Homing sil-pieious ammi iii.il. aii.
iewelrvwas left there. tiKi. but the oih-ii
iiihI aoove-iioani re-ixt-iaoiiuv voiicmtnor
its -afctv. I're-entlv flu- clcrK Dec;mie un-
i-i.v- and exnn-ssit) a de-ire to n
turn to the other room. The doctor
told biiu to 1m in no ha-te. ami then the
lerk got in a hiirrv am! went to the door.
It was locked. He iM-gan to talk aliout
the iewelrv he had left in the next room.
The doctor auntl him that it wa- icrfcet-
I v -afc. The clerk next found tluit he wa
i iiri-oncr. and iii-liitiatitl tluit tlie iitinio-c
wa- to rob him. Tin doctor apiH-an-tl to
Ik; prepared for the raging that cn-ued.and
at the tap oi a ik'H mree or lour men ai-pi-antl
who .-ei.itl the unfortunate clerk.
ami had a straight jacket on him in a
twinkling. He tmil to explain wlio He
was. and hi bu-iness at tlie house, but the
diK-tor onlv told him to lie calm, and that
the iewelrv wa all right. He charged tip
Wiiuiau vviiu oemg a imei. anu nie tioei'u
s an aittimplPt. but tlie doctor was not at
all milled. "The clerk wa locked and
liarred m a roouitlEitwa-evidentlyintenil-itl
for jiri-on purposes. The' next ilay the
prisoner put "ii me caiinne-s oi uesi-ra-tion.
and got an interview with the doctor.
The latter finally agreed to send to the jew
el rv ston to ascertain if there wa any
truth in the voungman s storv-. I l;c pro
prietors were lamenting tlie ansconding oi
their clerk, and had already ottered a re
wanl for his arrest. They went to the doc
tor's house and found their man -ately
locked in a private lunatic asylum.
Now for the conversation betwfen the
beautiful ladv and the doctor, which will
unravel the plot and exonerate the doctor
from any suspicion of complicity. The
woman told hiin. confidentially, that the
voting man before him was lier brotlp-r.
and in-.me. His principal nud fancy was
tliat .-he had taken trom him a lot of jewel -
tsrttKotli.K.- 1... irorv trimliliiinie.
She was vi-iting Baltiniorew ith him for
few dav-. and Ins madness bad broken out
afre-h "lliat morning. She did not know
what to do with him. and begged the doc
tor to take care of hirp, if only for twenty
four hour?, until she could make arrange
ments to have him legally planed in some
proper institution. The doctor finally i-on-sented
to the arrangement, and the result
was that both he and the clerk were sadly
victimized. Neither the confidence woman
nor tlie jewelry liave been heanl of since.
It is considered a very good trick for a
woman.
C-iiaTORNiA burglars carry ofl'niowiiig
macliines and quartz-mills.
15.
AH About the "Danbiiry "ewt" Man.
It i- :tu odd fact, and one which we never
-aw claimed N fore, that the genuine hu-mori-ts
of our country, like the most di
tiugui-hed of our -tatc-meii. sprung from
the people. Neither tleorge I . Prcntiiv.
Charle- F. Brown (ioor Artcmu-f. .lobn
SquilMih I'hu-niv. Maik Twain. Billing-,
nor Doe-tii k- eiitentl the world flouri-h-
in-'a -ilvcr-noon. But the latest and bv
far the nm-t -trikiugillitstnition of Ihe fact
we have notitl i pre-eiitttl in ihe e:irly ca-n-craml
pre-ent standing of the Ibnbury
AVici licni. Tlint- vear-a-zo hi-wa-nn-
known a- a huniori-t'out-ideof uniet Dan-
of the Pacilic
t'ulf -tn-:uii.'
trom thegn-at lake-to the
Butwetiud the nn k-bound slum-, nor
the mighty t'ulf -tnam i-iunot hedge in
his expanding reputation. In :he clubs nt
London hi- name chiun
gla -. and his -quid.
Wltil the click' oi
;is,t-ud with the
-teaming inci-n-e of nia-t lut-f. In the
sdons of Pari-, di-gui-itl in grott-uin
French for he i- one of the few who loar
trau-lation the hcartim of flic laugh
j lx-trays him. In tin garden- ot Berlin In-hit.-
are sandwiched betwixt -ip- of Khiiie
wine, ami for the moment uciitralic the
i sell-as-crting iwlor of sweitcrka-e.
Hi-hiimori-origiiial. It i--miple.anil i-
uot ovcr-tmitiitl nor tar-fctchitl never
creak with the mit-liaiii-ui that would-be !
humorist fail to disguise. He Use-plain
Kngli-h. nor i-all- to hi- aid bad orthogm
pby. He never inflict- a double play on
exchangeable wonl-. Hi w it i-tlie ioy
ou soul of a new and well-put -knttl. or
ends a sketch of some remarkable ijimt in
Daubury with a "twang" that would
i-ail-e Wachtel to lay down the whip of the
(Hisiiliou in di-iiia. A clo-c -canning' of
all the pa-t and present himior which ha--hiMik
old mother cjirth iu her orbit eb-ar-hi-
.-kirt of plagiari-m or imitation. Al
though peculiar and original, he i- alarm
ingly natural. and you will often lindyoiir-M-lf
"iMiiulcring upon the siortive mixture
of gnive circinii-tatHv- ami ludicroii
eveiits in everv-il iy life. The posturingof
his -ubjit'l-. eiiielly contiiied to human na
ture, anil uonieiv iiiuig- ami -iiiiauou-. i-
ilwav- within the pale of proliabihty.
Anil he -ii-tain- him-clf so well, dmw- iu
itch odd combiuatious of ihguilicd tact
md droll pniliahilily. ending all with -neb
;i surprising though natural climax, mat
you are fairly -tartlcd into a nKir. wi-ii on
it- way long liefon- you an ready.
lames .Moiitgouicrv l.aney. me siioiit i
of our ketch. was Imihi of "piMir. but n-
lf table iKin-uts." iu Ihe "imkI old Dutcli
.!l,-..r Ml,iiiv mi tin. -J.'illi of SclitellllM-r.
ISil. His fa'thcr. who was a builder, wa-
kilhtl by falling from a building on the
Ith of Mareh. 1st I. A lew vcar- aller m-
molher married again, ami the family n
niovitl to l.'onie. N. Y. Although it may
liave a depn-s-ing iiilbicnit himui the com
ing gem-ration the truth mu-t In- told, that
when voiuig lie was rather wild, and could
alwavs lie Iollliil Willi " mem na-i v ihi-.
At :m i-arlv a-'e he c avitl IKtldllllg a
pies, but liot' getting rich he. at his moth
er s urging, went to sciiooi. v neiiaooui
liftit-ii vi-ars ot age .lame- attemiditf Iln1
law. but a linen mat thwarted his purpo-e
md pri-vc utitl In- -hmuig at tin- Icir. it
sit-in tin- other ii in- iiov wa niiicii
marti r at throwing ink. and more dex
terous iu avoiding it. The damagitl t.u-
ditioii iu which .lames brought fhat coat
home one night to his .-orniwmg mother.
so deun-ssitl her that she withdrew bun
from the bar.
He next tiirmtl his attention to the gn-
cerv bu-iiie-s. but a sweet tooth rivaling
bisMs.idintv. he clerked "at it only ton
enough to fell the luiiip .-Hgiirleirn-l in the
dark. The gnnt-r at parting Kindly gave
his estimate of .laim- true value to him.
tmt it L'ht be would nnive a "lead" to
niv-one who would lxiil him up or down
II,. i-vi-ii went out ol 111 wav to infonii
.I-iiiW sten-father tluit hisiKtrtiug with him
wa- verv mucli like tuning wiin me oe-i
part ot hi stock.
iiirnui! irom "iraue ami ihih t. ik
nliiieitl into litcrarr pursuits, and wroti
I Atiotlier Ihv. similarly inclined
to plunge, .-iirreptitiou-ly obtained tyH
from tin; Romin Cithm. and cheerfully
ftviitnietitl to publish the work. They
nachtl the sit-oml chapter, and, owing to
tit,, tlnilhii" nature ol Hie siorv. were
wanning up to their work, when that Ko
lnan citien. iu propria prrsona. made a de-
st-nt on the piilili-limg lion- oi nauev x
v.o.. ami i.irmti on me t nin- n....-.
eluding the chcri-hetl MSS.. in his pocket
handkerchief. Thus ..gam was me ji-jrii
line ol' bis Msiiiriiur soul divertitl from It'
niur-e. and hi- fortune made a howling
wildenn-ss. The novel was ol a dome-tn'
.leiisicier. alioumluig in evi rvilav oit-ur-
n im-. -m il a- well-lierfonuitl a-si ina
lions, iitnl cleverly exccutiti iKi-oning-
all it-nteriiig aniund the most enduring
love for that "Wi-esf. lioble-t. and ln-st ol
iiinV -'itts to man woman." The now
wa- entitled "'I he Avenger r-rr." and wa-
well i-alciilalcd to make trouble in the lit
crarv world.
AiKiut 1S. young Baih-y retunittl to
Albaiiv- ami ivitl with Ins gnindieireiil-
He again trhtl hi- luck in the gnxtry bu
im . His employer imivitl lo be a mon
tdi-:i-:itit chaiithan'thel.oman. and bee:
.o.-ittacheil that he took him along while
going ttmuigti iiaiiKrupicy mnt; 111011111-
later. Iiaviug -inicK 111 a sui in.in-.
employer shortly after went into the grain
bu-iiie-s. and engaged young' Baih-y a
clerk. Admoiu-hitl by fate expenenit-,
hi- ciniiloverliccame fi-arfullv ittuioiiiii-d,
and after" purcha-ing a boat load of oat
that had Irit-n under water, he violently
i-xerci-ttl this new trait iu -etting .lame
to tuni a fan mill, in the top loft of a foiir
torv building. Having raiitl the wind
considerable, and elcauitl out tin; oats, he
went home." to die. but eventually recov
entl. and in the fall of went to Dan
burv. Connecticut.
While in Ail-any. in Align -t. ISW. young
Bailev first apiirel iu print. The Go
sii-r'"- Club of the New York Mercury
gave ltim thi- opportunity, and he contin
ued a i-ontributor to the club for a year
and a Iuilf after going to Danburv. In
this. and. indeed. ur to 1!T0. although
writing with a free will, there was little or
no attempt at humor. In Danburv- he
worked with his step-father at carpenter
ing, and in the .iinnner of l5-. when
work wa- M-arce. he engaged withaCirmer
to bind oatsat the exaspcniting rate of sev-
entv-tivei-ent-iierilay. One day stinieeii
1 to fill bis soul with the !"rr-lom and ind-
i nendonce of agricultural life: but the vol-
. uminous pain in the .-mall of hU back on
, the "evempg ot the Hr-t day he said
I WOlllll liave liiail; a icai I loan u .ni-i.v-..
a Here, no doubt, he gleaned that aggres-
ive knowledge of agriculture, which -o ot
teti give IkvIv and weight to the Xne:
lie enli-ted a- a private in the 17th Con
necticut A'olunteers. in August. Ifi2, and
served until the clo-e of the war impro
moted. At Gettysburg, together witli his
friend and pre-erit sirtner. Mr. Donovan,
he vv-v captured anil imprisoned in Rich
mond, where he wa- kept some two
month- His letters from the arm v for the
Danburv Ttm't gave him quite a local rep
utation." but made it rather wana for him
in his regiment. He wa a good soldier,
never shirking anv dnry. At length he
wa? notified of his appointment" to a
-erjieamey. u jwu appearing 101 .tiuu. k
BATXS OF ADTKKTI8IKO :
One opus, lxtywrriU, one insertion... tl.fO
Each suliarnt iBMtitiot. - l
Uiuinrss rants. ?.'inch Uke per year... mv
Oae-tuurUr column, one year SJ.W
OiK-b-ilf column, one yw 55.W
One column, ono year 100. CO
PUpUyedadTCTiiJooniUrturyrdt'y the inch.
53" All transient arivfrtiiing must It? paid for
in advance.
S3" Yearly adTertijement payable quarterly
in advance.
lion, and securing hi- warrant, the
cohmcl of his regiment luppcucd
t n-mcniNr that private Riiley
bad. like Private Mile O'Kcilly. Ntii
"roiling" hoinc. and had alm-ttl him
-omewhat foreitily iu his home i;iicr. the
Daubury Times. "The Colonel gave him
-ome exci-llcnt adviit. and onlentl him
kick to hi- quarter-; and at the cud of the
war he returned home a- privately as ho
had gone away.
In September. ISi-'i. Mr. ISiiil y. with a
fcllow-mcmhcrcf ihe regiment with whom
he wa- captured. Mr. Thorna- Donovan,
kiiight Die iv.iubiiry Timrt. Man-li ).
t"0. tin- JtjTtr.io.iidn was pun ha-tl bv the
vonng tirufand was con-olidatcd Willi the
T5m.. thus making Ihe Danburv .Vnr..
It wa- not until 1S70 in the A"ir that
Mr. Bailey unconsciously iM-gau his ii.
inarkable -qnibbiug. He found be
had -truck a "li-ad," and so quickly did
the sleuth hound- ol" the pre discover it
that iu thnt mouth- hi- echauge li-t
di'iiblid. T'lii- he rather liked, and as he
wrote for the pun love of writing. In
-tuck to it. Hi exchange, without
knowing the name of the author of Ihe
exquisite humor soeoutiiiuoii and sti-idily
cm-ping into the AVu'.. diibNtl him "Ihe
Danburv .. man." by which soubriquet
only he i till known to a vast majority of
tho-e he Iu made healthier and happier.
Tim- he went 011. quietly sipping the very
foundations of buig-wii'iditli-m.' until the
entire pre of the country, including the
great mctnipolitaii journal-, fairly nt-kit!
wiin his -oiiH-xpauiliiig "sKnttis anil
alting narratives of men. women, and
other member- of the animal and vegeta
ble kingdom in-iit up in Daubury. And
so important bavetlie itnicern- of lheH'o
ple. etc.. of Danburv become to the im-s
of the coiuiirv. that it would K-a- imiHis-
ible to liud a v hole copy of the AVic in
111 editor, saiiclmii a- lo ill-cover me
lighte-t rciiinanl uf cou-i icmx-iua di lulu t
railroad conductor.
In iK-r-onal apiM'tii-iiice Mr. Bailey mav
Ik- -.lid to l-a liaiidoiin man. although
he wears his hainiatiiraUv.aud don't a licet
lavender nit-klie. Hi-under-lip indicate-.
1 man who will taud bv all he ha- said in
the .Vrw.t. which i rather had for Daubury.
Although be i- bappilv witldttl. Ihe tad
-hoiild not 1m- field from any large family
o gronit-up daughter- thai" Daubury i- iii
Connecticut. Albany (A. ).) Journal.
Another limiM-cul TrapiM-d.
The supreme folly of ailvcrli-ing for a
wife ha- ntfived a new illustration 111 al
it'ornia. A -hort finieago -Mr. Henry Har
old Brookes, an Kugli-hmaii. arrivitl in
San .lo-e. and immintl for Mi IJo-v I..
iMirwciu. a111v11111.il iciiiaie iii iiim .to
wered hi- publi-bed vcaruing for a hit'
partner. I heir correspoiiilciut li.nl im
gun in a formal manner, but had .-pcitlily
haugitl to coiiHilcntial.aiiil Irom thai to
tender. While in the ittnlidciitial hhmhI
the impulsive Mi-s Ko-j- had mve-btl lilly
itnts ma photognipli ol wliicli .-lie wa-
by no mean- Ihe original, and -cut it to
her swain, who wa-ofitiur-e delighted
with Ihe k-aiily he beheld. Then -he liad
poiintl into his ears no. hisryii a story
ol";in-iital tynintiy and par-imonioii-ni-ss.
ami ;iger to" n-ciie his lielovitl from such
unpleasant as-ociatioii- the anient Henry
Harold lup I .-cut her sjl'UMo provide a 111-
tiHglnu-iaii, ami N-ggttl her lo "name
the day. the wedding day." Giving her
barelv"limetomake the neit-s-ary arniiige
ineiits. Henry Harold liad sied on Ihe
wings of love and the mon: onliliary
means of conveyance, to where he sii-po-cd
his bride to In, ready and willing to
crown his joy. The bright dn-ani was
0011 ili-iK-llttl with a rude awakening.
She wasn't" there. She had not liecn there.
In Mint of fad then was no such person,
lie proceeded to invi-tigate. The tir-t de
velopment wit Ihe nti ptimi of thnt;
llloll Vinous lellcrs emipelll-IKtl Willi emtr-
ful it.llins. and lively skulls and cro
Imiih-. and an enitiuraging heart pienttl
with a Imwie kmle and -iirrounded wltn a
curdling motto. All imparted the pleas
ant information that he wa-n't wantitl in
that iHirtion ot this tem-tnal sphere, ami
th.-itiHile.-s he made him-elf siant right
sinttlilv the pi-tol. the dagger, llieconl.
mil tlicdi-ailiv potion vvinuu joimij uim
severally do tlH-ir deaillr work. He did
not think it worth while to remain any
longer, and leaving the matter in the
handsof the Di-trict Attorney lie departitl
for a healthier climate. Then scciii- loin?
no doubt that the whole aflalr was a ilelili
emte swindle from the first, ami the 11m--orv
advanittl is that Mr. Brooke wa the
iIh'im; of depnvttl and de-igiiing "honl-I11111-."
who would have niunlentl him il
he had piirsintl hi- que-t. 'Hie man who
Iia adv:iiitl to years of di-cretion with
out finding among hi acqiiaiutamt- a
woman whom he can marry will do well
to n-liiiiiii-b all connubial de-ire, rather
tliau -tt-k Hymen through the columns of
a iicw-paicr.
PL'SGENT l'AUAGRAPHS.
We.vi: your U-aniiiig. said Che-t rtieH.
like voiirvvateh. in a private pockrt.ainl
do not pull it out merely to -how that you
have one.
M i:i:iAfiF-s mav U: celebrated in Imvvi rs
as fair a- tho- ol'Kdei:. but they mu-t in
the end l put to proof in the workshops
of the world.
Tun mo-t niiiopiilar man in Virginia I
one who has made thcaccidciit.il ili-tvrrv-that
kero-em: i- a ellicai;iou- as whisky to
cure rattlesnake bite.
A max much addicted to snoring n-.,i-t
.,1 to Ids tiedfcllow in flu iiioniing
tliat 1m: "slept like a top. "1 Know" H,'
-aid tlie otiier "like a luiiiiiiimg-iop.
EvrnrsiASTic PF.pr-srci.vx "Am I 011
the right nrjilforStratfonl Shake-H-are.s
town, vou know, mv man. You've often
heanl "of Shakcs-an-:''' Kiistic "Kcs.
15c you lie" I'une..
As old lady at Elleiiville. N. Y.? whoe
hoii-ehold diith-i are tonsidenible. upon
lieing lately a-kitl by a young lady why
-he did uotVuiplov a domestic servant re
plied: "Whv, i am getting old. yon
know, my dear, and cannot attend to one
as I useifto do."'
A IiAXitinv voiuig man who left on a
far-Western ex'pwlition. was bidding hi
friends good-bve at the depit. when a
voung girl cried out: "Bring me the
calp of a Modoe. yon't yon '; Tlie young
man feeling a little hurt at her indifference
to his departure and the danger? he was
about to encounter, sadly replied : "Xo.
Emma, ypu should not look for more liair
until vou have paid for tliat you now
wear."' The remark appeared to subdue
her.
A viav who is known as a bmtc iu hi
family, and a gram bier and iiiL-chief-makcr
in church, and whom tlie sight ot a contribution-box
fills with wrath. iWight to
rehear-e in praver-meetiiig the story of m
Christian experieni. and the wonderful
changes wrought tltereby. On a recent
oi-rasion he told "the old. old atotv.
winding up a usual with me quoiauui;.
"Bv the grace of God I am what I am.
As'he was leaving the place, one of theiiu
regenerate. who liad been a listener. ali
teil him with th remark, "I sav. -low.
vou mii't liave been a terribleyrlciea
mau at the first, it you have -mpTO-!
much a you represent." The Mtag
from grace that foUowed was painful to
behold.