A Teachers' Inspirational Insti
tute will be held at the] High
School building at Audubon, Iowa,
December 1 and 2, 1921.
THURSDAY, DEC. 1st
"Reading in the Public Schools"
10:15—Address, Miss Gertrude C.
Thompson, 'Music Appreciation'
1:45—Talk, Mrs. Neisen
"Uses of the Library."
2:00—Address, Co. Supt. Moeller.
"Teaching as a Profession Nqw
and Twenty Years Ago."
,1 High School—Mclntire
fjjA little neighbor girl was at our
house when a bride of two months
came in. Our conversation was about
the wedding. "Oh," said the little girl,
so you got married with a curtain
on your head, too."
Announcement to Teachers
of Audubon County
3:30—Address, Co. Supt. Earl.
Gertrude C. Thompson.
8:00—"An Evening with Riley"
Co. Supt. Earl
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2nd
.. Music ...
9:30—Address, W. F. Barr
"Needed Changes in the Organi
zation of the Public Schools"
For School Officers
1:00 p. m—Address, W. F. Barr
"The School and the Community"
1:45—Recital, Lo. Supt. Earl^
A Good Investment
There is just one Des Moines
newspaper that you can get the
SAME MORNING PRINTED
and that is The Des Moines Regis
tpr—Iowa's Greatest Newspaper.
riX'S'' And the price of The Register
has just been reduced to $5.00 a
year. Now nearer to prewar prices
than any other Iowa papers. Try
it. Your money back if you don't
get LATEST news FIRST. *.
Like the Rest.
IIIIIEBMIIMII! niiiMuwiunnt! Kimni Miami
WILLIAM S. HART iu—
The Movie Pest reads the titles' Out
Loud 'so that Everyone caD Hear, as
suming that the Audience are either
Illiterate or have left their Glasses at
home. Sometimes the Movie Pest
mispronounces a Word and then
Snickers are heard all over the
IoWa State Teachers'
The second study denter for Au
dubon county will be held in the
High School Building, Exira, Iowa,
December 3, 1921.
9:30 a. m.—Grade Teachers,
Reading Circle Work, John R.
Rural Teachers, Language,
Standards in Language Teaching
by Years, Alta Wilmarth.
10:30 a. m.—Grade Teachers,
Language, Standards in Langu
age Teaching by Years, Alta
Kural Teachers, Reading
Circle Work, John R. Slacks.
1:00 p. m.—Grade Teachers, Read
ing Circle Work, John R. Slacks.
Rural Teachers, Language,
Type Lessons in Language, Alta
2:00 p. m.—Grade Teachers, Lan
guage, Type Lessons in Laugu
age, Alta Wilmarth
Rural Teachers. Reading
Circle Work, John R. Slacks.
Please bring note book and pencil.
Two fat old gentlemen were en
joying their game of golf, unhinder
ed by caddies. As they stood, with
putters in their hands on the first
green, one of them, turning to. the
"Mallowes, old man, supposing I
did put this ball in, who in the blazes
is going to get it out?"
FRIDAY and SATURDAY, NOV. 25&26
GEORGE WALSH in—
"Blue Blood and Red"
Adventures cf a red-blooded ronQber of a blue-blood- I
ed family. A story iu which speedy action, humor 1
and tender romance crowd one another for first place.
Also two-reel comedy—Toreby Turns Cupid"
10c and 30c .. I
SUNDAY. NOVEMBER 27
"Even as Eve"
Does a woman instantly catalog a man upon the
meeting in one of two r:lasHee, the man she would
marry and the man she would noi? Taken
book, The Shining Band, by Robert W. Chambers.
Also Pathe News
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30
'The Return of Draw Egan'
lllliH liillMUIII uHiiiiau
Show Starts at
7:30 p. m.
10c and 30c.
10c and 30(
R** VI~ 1^—
SfpULSIFER seoms mighty touchy,"
ST observed the retired merchant.
"He was talking to me this morning
and shooting holes through the king's
English in his usual reckless way. I
called his attention to a few of his
A Shrewd Man.
Patron Why do you have such
poor music in your restaurant?
Proprietor—It relieves the pressure
by giving the people something be
sides the food to find fault with.—
Lecturer—"Things have come to a'
pretty pass when my description of the
constellations are made to give way
on the program to the so-called Dog
star." Stage Manager—"Sure, that is
a Sirius matter."
People in need of monument
work would do well to see
F. D. LANE, 'j
In ad of in
grateful he shook
his fist under my
nose, and said that
for three sous he
would push my
face through the
back of my head. I
that. sort of con
duct. I'd thank any
correct me when I
make errors in my
"In a horn you
would," commented, the hotelkeeper.
"You think you put up a fine line of
English when you are talking. You
are satisfied you never make any bad
breaks, so feel safe in saying you
would welcome criticism, but If some
sharp who wise to all the fancy
curves of the language came along,
and showed you where you get off, you
wouldn't wring his hand in an ecstasy
of gratitude. No, doggone it, you
would climb on his person and discolor
one of his eyes.
"If there's any man makes me tired
and sore, it's the one who calls me
down when I am speaking a piece, and
tells ipe I am making Lindley Murray
roll over in his grave. I don't mind if
there are only two of us present at the
time, but when there are innocent by
standers around I get all worked up
and insist upon a hand to hand con
flict. No good sport would do such a
thing. If you (Jon't like the way I
talk, you can pass up this hotel when
making your daily rounds. If you
must hand me a package of criticism
or admonition, send it by mail. Then
I can read it in the privacy of my own
bed room, and there won't be anybody
around to raise a horse laugh.
"My education was sadly neglected
when I was young. I went tp school
only a few months and everything I
learned was wrong, for the teacjier
was a fanner who took up educational
work as a recreation when the weather
prevented him from cultivating his
beans. The little I know I accumulat
ed by reading the newspapers and a
few dime novels.
"Consequently I am always taking a
fall out of th 3 language. I never could
wise myself to the fine points of gram
mar, and it was only recently I quit
saying 'I done it,' and 'I have went.'
Every now and then an aleck stops me
-in the middle of a discourse and shows
me where I am wrong, and if there is
any way of getting even with that man
I always do. There was a drummer
for a shoe house who used to frequent
this place. I took a liking to him, and
always gave him the best room and
saw that his eggs were fresh from .the
vines, and looked after his comfort
"One day I was telling him a story,
and he stopped me just when I was
approaching the peroration, and began
to explain the. difference between
'shall' and, 'will.'' It seemed that I al
ways used one of these words when I
should have used thp other, and in the
goodness of his heart he explained the
whole business to hie. When he had
made everything clear lie ask£d me to
finish my story, but I told him, in & bit
ing sort of way, that 1 might wound
him to the quick by misplacing a few
more words, so I'would spare him that
"Then he saw he was in bad, and he
began telling ihe how he always liked
to be corrected, and he took it for
granted that others felt the same way
about it, and tile more he talked the
less use I had for him.
"He registered here many times aft
er that, always got the worst room in
the house and if there was a particu
larly tough steak oh hand, it went to
him. He tried his hardest to square
himself, and was always looking at
me, hoping to see a winning smile on
my chaste lips, but be never got any
thing but the arctic glare, and I sup
pose he's kicking himself, even to this
day, because he made that break. A.nd
if you want to queer yourself with all
your friends, you'll keep up this thing
of telling people of their mistakes."
rt j*x *\i+
Kansas nevwpaper corrects a!
typographical error as follows
We wish to apologize for the maa
ner in which we disgraced the beau
tiful wedding last week. Through
an error of the typesetter we were j|
made to say "the ros^s were punk."
Whav we should have said was "the S
aoses were pink." Is
I The ship's band had just finished
playing a selection from "'William
Tell." The bandmaster tapped his 11
music stand and announced, "Next
we'll pl^y the 'Stars and St. if For
"Esscoose me, please," meekly
remarked the Filipino trombone
player, "I joost played 'Stars and
Stripes' on trombone."
The spinster waited two or three
hours to be admitted to the presence
of the man who visited their town
once a month to retail good advice
and his own proprietary medicine.
At last she was admitted.
"Yes, Yes," said the brusque
"I want to know if influenza can
be transmitted by kissing."
"Beyond a doubt madam."
"Well, a man with a pronounced
case of influenza kissed me." a
"How long ago was this?
"Well, let's see. I think it was
about two months."
"Why, madam, no harm can
come to you now from the exposure.
It is quite too late."
"I knew it," she sighed, "but I
just love to talk about it
Audubon, Iowa IIIIHIIIII
Say It By Telephone
When compelled to be absent from a
wedding, graduation or other happy affair,
there is no letter or other message that can
equal the sound of your voice.
Extend your compliments by "Long
heshoes that fit and
I ^v V-/s'"~Vl't" 'V!'%'* s.K
I 'V,- Misses' 5% to I I, at $ 1.40
GIFTS THAT LAST
1 Women find the bracelet watch to be one of their |j
most useful and prized possessions. We have a large 1
selection to choose from. Our line is selected with
great care from the best watch manufacturers in the 1
country, and we guarantee them to give satisfaction
in every way. Our holiday line is now on display.
We have the largest line ever shown in Exira, and it 1
will compare favorably with stocks carried in other
towns many times larger. We also guarantee to
duplicate any article in any mail order catalogue at
their prices and save you the transportation charges I
We have the stock and the right prices. Make your
holiday selections now and we will set them ^side
till you call for them.
P. M. Christensen
Fine Watch Repairing a Specialty
H. P. Petersen'sy Cash Store XI
ln vicl and
I ad an is Coats at 10* Discount IC:
is to 2 a $ 1 5 5 to $ 6 5
H. P. Petersen's Cash Siorefe
Ladies', Misses' arid Children's Dresses in Serges, Trico
co- -s^l ill
W.eight jersey, $ 1.98
Lilly Gaiters $4.48
"Long Distance" is
.always the best way.
r.' .. A V.
MAajm* lawntm i»
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