Newspaper Page Text
? r ..
"The charge ngainst ilio prisoner is
intimidating' voters," ssld tlio judge.
"Dili lie usenctunl violence?''
"Not actual violence, your hoaor,"
replied tho prosecuting attorney, "but
it was intimidation, nevertheless. lie
was nt the polls in tho interest of the J
republican ticket, lie had a livemouso I
in his pocket with a string tied to it,
and when a democratic lady arrived to
vote ho would let the animal run across
the floor. Your honor can imagine the
result." Harper's Bazar.
Tit for Tot.
Customer (who lias made a collection
of some of the choice candies in tho
6tore) Now, if you will wrap theso up,
I'll take them home, cxamino them, and
let you hear from me.
Confectioner (astounded) Why, man
alive! I can't stand that'!
Customer Can't stand it! Why, your
wifo comes up to my drygoods store
about twice a week and does the samq
thing with my drygoods. Puck.
lie hastened away to tao dentist's
And made that good worthy rejoice,
l)y orilerlti! a (also set of molars
To go wllli hW falsetto voice.
A YEIUTAHLK UONANZA.
'l ' . ' '"v-?
J 11'. .
"Mattie, come quick an' bring every
think yer can witli yeri There's bin
n party, ati' they're a-glvin' away all the
pidgins, toa-it an' wegetablcs what's
bin left over!" Life.
i Uttrr Itnrollilllty.
Ous l)e Smith, while not precisely o
coward, h averse to getting into
trouble if he can avoid it. Not long
ago a I ' stout man kicked Gus' dog off
the si ! . lie on Ilarlcm avenue
Yu '-ouldn't have don that last
wet'u ' .ad Ous, defiantly.
" ii vouldu't I havo kicked the dog
"llccauso I only got him yesterday."
Gushing Visitor And so this is your
little baby brother? Ucsscm ittic toot
siwootsie! Sec him smile. What's 'e
ittie be&sed pcttie smiling about?
Boston Child (apologetically) Ho
isn't old enough to know that lie ought
to keep a straight face, even if your
pronunciation i a little peculiar. Good
Ill fiaturul Mlntukr.
"Yes" the literary boarder was say
ing as tho Cheerful Idiot entered the
din'uv room, "it had a remarkably dra
ma i or."
V..I.U had?" asked the Cheerful
"A iiovid I was reading last night."
"Oh! I thought you were perhaps
speaking of the omelet." Indianapolis
.n Tnr as He Unit lint.
"Do von think that marriage is a
failun ' Mr As-kin?" said Miss Elder
to a v uin whom she knew to be
"I n t got that far yet," was the
franl. i . , "but I'm pretty well con
vinced thai courtship is bankruptcy."
The llrlzht of llllm.
Gcor"ii' i aged six) Will you marry
me ' -y, Mabel when we grow
J. nfully) Cert .1 lly not,
Get .iy not want to t.iarry at
all . .oiv up, and if I do I shall
man. , n father and keep a candy
Ill incut InvrMllirtlt.
"I su. .o you want the ludy's name
cngravnl inside, sir?'' said the jeweler,
after Tillinghast had selected an en
"Oli. j. u." replied the careful young
man. "Just put inside 'To my heart's
own treasure,' or 'The star of my life.' "
Agnes Great mimic, the count. Gives
"Jack Yes; he gave one a year or so
ago that cost him three months in jail.
Agnes Impossible! What was it? i
Jack Gave his landlord an imitation j
of a twenty-dollar bill.-N. Y. World.
Jamson (finding Slimson at his board
ing linu-.c breakfast table) Hollo,
Slimsu i v.iuit bus made you sattle here?
Slir.iAi.i (mournfully) llecause, dear
boy, I was unable to settle at my last
place. Brooklyn Life.
A I'uturo for HJin.
First Boy I wonder why Big Mike
uoesn i train lcr a pcrfesslonal prize
Second I!ov Mcbby he ain't got any
dramatic talent. Good News.
A Tempting AUvortUrinent.
Sign In front of clothing store in
"Owing to tho low price of cotton,
all wool 6ults marked down to $7.09."
Would Cult It Square.
Bagley Tho doctor has sent you a
memorandum of six calls.
Brace Just acknowledge receipt, and
6ay I'll r ' rn them as soon as I can.
Town Topi .a,
IV l it it .
"Timmins' five thousand -3.w t- did
aov go very far in spcculat.on, did it?"
ao. It was ouly a drop in the bucket
flop.' N ashington Star.
"Clara," said Mrs. Gratebar to little
Clara Staybolt, who had como in to
play with the Gratebar children, "how
is your mother to-day?"
"Well, she's better," said Clara, "but
tho doctor says she's very much de
williatnitatcd." "What under tho canopy do you
mean by that, Clara?" said Mrs.
"Well, tho doctor said debilitated,"
said Clara, "but father says 'wo musn't
say Hill, wu must always say William."
N. Y. Sun.
bach Wondorrul Credit
"Wo frequently 6co it stated," said
Mr. Oddflsh, "that such and such men
started from extreme poverty, coming
into town, in tho first place, without a
farthing and rising by their own exer
tions. When I first came I had to bor
row money to get hero and I'vo been
borrowing money ever since. It is a
great thing at sixty to have established
such a wonderful credit." Philadelphia
Minister, making parochial call, in
terviews our youngest, seated on his
"Well, my little man, do you go to
"No, sir; but I say my prayers."
"Ah, indeed? That's good. Whom do
you pray to?"
"1 don't 'member tho gentleman's
name, but ho lives 'hind the moon."
Buramiry of Internstlousl Politics.
First Great Power Halt! or I let
loose tho dogs of war. As one of tho
great powers of the world and in tho
name of humanity, civilization and
progress, I protest against your seizure
of that little island whoso inoffensive
people aro unablo to protect themselves.
Second Great Power I'll give you
First Great Power All right. Go
A Sad Case.
Hostess My dear count, you must
pardon me. but I have such a very
poor memory of names, it's a real af
fliction ' 1 have forgotten yours.
The Count You shoult gonzult a
spe i ' c n mcndal disease .. my tear
mad.i. . j on really shoult. My name
is Kit ko wiwsklsciinifllngW.d. N. Y.
1 it town' Slncular rower.
Pro' i eleye By simply holding a
bri ' t before a person'-, eyes for
flv. I can hypnotize him, and
ma' ' i anything I wish.
1. i -That's nothing. By hold
ing I t jbject before a restaurant
wai', .c-. for three-quarters of a
secoii I I e: o make him my slave. N.
"Suv'" "-elled the foreman of tho
Plunk-, die I'ugle to the suffering ed
itor, 'yo i i vo got too much stuff this
week fen- t i woman's page. Which
shall I Kii'i it tho article on cran
berry ji 1 r. the one on 'Woman's
Plan in . tatecra ft?'" Indianapolis
IIH Favorite beason.
Tea ' '"What season do you like
!!. ''ii ner.
"S 1 1. And why do you love sum-
" 'Cause thero ain't any school." Good
"I understand the critics showed
your p -i great deal of considera
tion.' 'young woman.
"V didn't say n word about
them the young man.
"Tha. - . .nt I meant.' Washington
llnw lie Knew.
He too' her liulo hand la bis.
Ills lu- wits hot and h1z1q,
And n lien she dldn'i J'-rlt It back
l!n ' w th t she w.n liNn.
- Phil .ii-1 Ma Inquirer.
Land! ic -up
the K.v t
water all tin
ho want the
they are cct
What's Hawkins giving
!t house for?
ays the cellar is full of
Well, what the deuce does
c champagne? Harper's
tae Tar I'oture.
lo you like those pies, my
udecd; still, of course,
1 lite as good as those my
a make. Town Topics.
1 i ii ut Ills Word.
Will II. l.i ..This is good bracing
; i Yes. Could you lend
me a dolkr
'Jll payday? N. Y. Jour-
1 l.o Others Did. I
about the 1,
) i think that fellow wae
ta little when ho told us
i hing he saw?"
'( Lows that had hold o' the
.t .."-Atlanta Constitution.
ropo did t.
I ask your father for hi
until heh'" 'icrnt-
,i, .Tack. v. oil to
.aution.--'tf saa .'flings.
She Aie j ju a V'otnnlst, bishop?
Bishop Well, I I know a daisy
when I ecu her Judge. j
A" " i i&OXAIILi: TC ..NT.
f r it
ft ' ? m
,- EEL.- 4m
'I ill. ;' ch. msm
II . l f- l'w3ll
M The highest
6hJ VM tobaccos i3
juuu .is iui iiiiiii.
Every old smoker
knows' there is
You will find one
pons inside cod.
, uugol Ulackw
vv tf)!M Pl,y ',' l,aK
i uiuira ioui,i:ciii i rci. i xr.a
of valuable presents i ud how
leaching Ills Cnemr.
Fair Shopper (to clerk, wlio has shown
her every piece of goods in the store)
Well, I don't see anything hero that
suits me. I'll go down to Yard &.
Tapclcy's and see what they have.
Salesman (eagerly) Here's tho card
ol one of their salesmen. Will you
kindly get him to wait on you?
Fair Shopper (pleasantly) Ah! a
friend of yours, I suppose?
Salesman Not at all! Puck.
"I owe more comfort,"said Mr. John
son, "to my shoemaker than I do to
any other man."
"Why, how is that, " said Mr. Bil
lings, "when you are always complain
ing about tight bhocs?"
"Well, every evening when I take off
my shoes and put on my slippers, the
comfort I feci is simply intense!"
Ilo Got It.
Cholly Anything new by way of
Barkcop Yes. "The fool cocktail" is
very popular just now.
Cholly Qivo me one. (Drinks it.)
Well, I don't see anything very stu
Barkccp No? Look at your check!
(Cholly swoons and leaves his watch as
security.) K. Y. World.
The rrlnrlpil OinVrrnce.
"I've heard your preacher half a
dozen times," said the boy who was
whittling a stick. "You people pay
him 1.1,000 a year. He ain't a bit bct
tcr'n our preacher, and all we pav our'n
"Yes, but our preacher says cyether
and nycther, and your'n don't," replied
the boy who was sharpening his knifo
on his shoe Chicago Tribune.
Stpullii'5 it l.'olr In the (Iround.
A visitor to the Mammoth cave of
Kentucky said to the guide:
"I am going to break off a little
piece f n stalactite to take home as a
"N'ot much you isn't. If every visitor
wcro to do that it wouldn't be long be-
trvi tn ...l.i.li. .n . i.iai.I.I 1... !(..!
off." Tammany Times.
"Girls, what do you think? Blanche
is going to marry a lordl" exclaimed
"Oh, tell us all about It!" exclaimed
tho rest of the girls in excited chorus.
"Ycr, it's true. He owns n couple
of houses. Ho's a landlord."- -
llnw It lrlltes Hit.
Mr. Rondo An author requires com
plete nbsi raction. You can't have any
thing on your mind when you write
Miss Plossie Ko, most of the poetry
one reali nowadays .sounds as if the
people didn't have anything on their
minds when they wrote it. Brooklyn
Ilo Wasn't In It.
Magistrate You are charged with
playing cards for mouey. What have
you to say?
Prisoner The charge is false. II
was thu fellow that skinned me that
was playing cards for money. Phila
A Society Koni nice.
Clara- How under the sun did Edith
happen to marry Mr. Awkward?
Dora lie was the bane of her life at.
every ball she attended, and I presume
sho married him to keep him from
wanting to dan.'c with ner. N. Y.
Killed Them Off.
Mr Grumpps I notice that big hats
are not worn so much at the theaters as
Mrs. Grumpps No, some lying para
graphs starjvd the story that big hats
were the cheapest. N. Y. Weekly.
VUioo It "hli O'l ?
Lauzb and tho wo. 11 Liuvln ulth you,
L u?h nj.l you 1 1 iili a'o ic.
According at the Jilio 13 tho world's.
Or only one of jour own.
Dclr It Tribune.
a rori.i:Ti: su- ci.ss.
fp' "-' -im
JJ!itt'l" W - ' ".
r.r" , ' t
"Wluii u curious paperweight!"
"That's a fruit cake my daughter
baked after graduating from cooking
school."- Fliegende Blaottor. j
claim for other
,::il luo cou
f r uiiucc
f ,,,R ccle-
i'ivc- i list
ARIZONA CATTLE CO.,
Rango, Sail Francisco Mountains.
i;ur murks, silt In each our; liorres mill
miiU'x, Al, rl;:lit hlti; liicn-ase, At on rlxht
iliouliler. P.O. nddresi. Flagstaff. Arlona
I'iiask M. LiVEiiiioiiE, ticiicral Slaniigcr.
Allicil J. XV rant
lli.ind on right side
iih In cut ear luarki.
crop off left and silt in
kHiuu; rangu in ;un
tssirr rsnw r
llorsu uniiiu. Af uar. on rlxhl shoulder
braodsd as U
CktUt ausbsrsd eoassoaUrslf so lJa ektak.
TotoScs sddtsss. Ils
lUnis, l UrVs Teller
Ilrsnd us aIhifs cat.
All joins t"Ck hrt.d
l on I ota sld'S, !t
!lo fork and a"
'I'fbli la '!i art sJj
II ll. I"IimHIU4.
ItK't. 1. Z I mij'
no.i cll. iom
a rirKtsldti l.tltU
t q rlsWi sids. Wot
'Ki t U.
Itsagt slsht aslls
Yi t nal eocntr.
( Jills hrtcd-ii J
ol l"ft Hb: "nr nxrlti
qonr rot eo riMl
sr, l-a- c
i.itfv .l ir i ?!!! ArtKu
DEWING MACHINE SUPPLIES!
I furnish Needles, Oil, Heltlni.', i-biittliv
tc: alo all parts and pieces for thlrtj
inn (lllTi'iciit kinds of sou Ins machines
ilesldeshi'liiK .spent for tho abore, 1 sell tin
Vh'LELER & WILSON
Cash or installments. Write for prlrps biii
W. H. CLARK,
Holbrook, A. T
Are just an old. old remedy
In this new shape.
Doctors have always given
this prescription in water 1
We have them in this shape
simply for their handiness.
ntPASS TABULES ere Ilka an
Engineer going orer his bur and
powerful machinery giving a
llttlo neonwarjr lubricating to
tho needfuf partsi RTH-A-MB
VABULE3 do this for YOU.
Constipation, Dizziness, Nausea,
Dyspepsia and Mal-Nutrltlon
all yield to Rlpana Tabules.
At Prug Stores or Sent by Mall for M Cents.
lur as CnaiuciLCo4lOiipruca tit. New York
V I .mS1- SBl
w r m
THE H1UHS0H TYPEWRITER IS 1 GOOD jlillijIE.
A HIGH CRAUt
STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE.
THE flMSOtf TYPEWRITER GOpiPflffY,
IVI ei xt. tt 1 ei cturers,
aAO'244 WEST LAKE STREET. CHICAGO. IUU.
Fhe Indestructible "Maywood
The Most Modern,
Whoel oa Earth.
H vnnm r V,
taxi'Vx 1 Fell. 21, 1831 Oct. .1, IB93 Jan. 21. 1800 '
iail.ms iJIay 17, 1891 Jan. 1, 1895 Others Tending-.
A Bicycle constructed of material that is solid, tough and wiry; that is sim
ple in construction, easily taken apart and put together again, has few parts, is of
such wiry material that it3 parts will hold together even in an accident, no hollow
material to be crushed in by every contact, a frame that cannot possiblybe broken,
a frame so simplo that its adjusting part3 sertcas its connecting parts, a one-piece
crank in placo of a dozen parts, always ready to give reliable and rapid transportation.
SPECIFICATIONS AND DESCRIPTIONS.
FRAME. Improved Dojiblo Diamond. "What is a Double Dia
mond. Frame? Simply a true trussin every direction for strains that occur in
Cycles the outline of two diamonds in its makeup. The frames ore constructed of
Ji-inch cold rolled steel rods, the toughest and strongest metal for its weight known,
and the parts are joined together with steel and aluminum bronze fittings in such a
manner that it is impossible to break or any part to work loose A marval of novelty,
simplicity and durability, tho greatest combination of ingenuity in bicycle mechanism,
to build a frame without brazen joints and tubing, as you know that frames con
tinually break and fracture at brazen joints, and tubes when they are buckled in can
not be repaired Wo fjwiranteo our Double Diamond Frame for three
years. You cannot break it. Standard size steering head and wheel base,
ball bearings both ends of head Q
W1II5CLS. 28-inch front and rear, warranted one-pieco wood rims, best qual-
BEARINGS. Indestructible ball bearings throughout, with 148 hardened steel
balls. Crank shaft bearings are fitted with our patent ball cases, which are inter
locked and support each other and cannot possibly come apart w hile in use. Are neat
and cover the bearings completely It has been an acknowledged fact that crank
axle bearings are susceptible of improvement, as threaded ccnes or crank axles are
continually crowding or working loose We save this entire nuisance by having no
threaded parts whatever, but a clever de ice in frame for adjustment Our invention
is most perfect in simplicity and must be seen to be appreciated The sprocket and
chain are on the inside of tho frame and ball bearings. Great value is gained by this
arrangement, ease of running, double wear saved, positive rever loose bearings, free
dom from contract with chain and sprocket, smooth outward globular ball bearing!,
less friction and lost motion, hence greater speed Then with thejointless "one-piece
crank." feet, ankles and trousers arc free from injury
ONE-PIECE CHANIC Our great achievement, Ly its application we put
two cranks, two pedal axles, two keys, six screw;, tix nuts and four washers all in one
piece. From 50 to too per cent, of all trouble to Bicycles is from cranks working
loose and pedal axles tint break from clamping connections They gef loose no mat
ter how much pains is taken to key and tighten them. This is caused by too many
parts, and it is entirely saved by our device, which is but one piece and made from
tough rolled steel rods, impossible to break. It has been proven that when other
cranks break from accident, our one-piece crank will hardly bend But if bent any
person can easily straighten it with a large wrench, and without removing it from
CHAIN. Humbcr block pattern, best quality, hardened SPROCKET
WHEELS. Best drop forged steel REACH. Shortest, 28 inches; longest 37
inches. GEAR. 64 or 72. as specified (9
p FRONT FORKS. Indestructible Our fork crowns are simply a section of
gun barrel steel turned up to size, then bored and bent, forming a perfect fork crown
that cannot bo surpassed for strength and beauty, also giving a support to our solid
cold rolled fork rods that just limit the necessary amount of springiness required in a
front fork and which can only be obtained by the use of our forks and crown
HANDLE BARS. Reversible and adjustable, a manel of simplicity, readi
ly adjusted to any position desired, with best cork orcompositicn handles. Inbuying
a Bicycle it is always a vexed nuestion whether you want dropped or elevated handle
bars. If you wanted one kind you could not have the other Our handle bar en
ables you to have either at will. ' Will furnish Kam's Horn handle bars if preferred.
SADDLES. Gilliam, P. & F , Heading, or come other first-class make.
PEDALS. Rat trap or rubber, fullball bearing
FINISH. All parts aro enameled with our own special enamel, rubbed down
and baked, giving it a handsome black, glossy rppcarance AH bright parts are heav
ily nickle-platcd; these, with the jet black glossy parts, give a handsome appearacca
which cannot be excelled
ACCESSORIES. Each -Maywood" Bicycle is furnished with leather tool
bag, containing pump, wrench and patent oiler
WEIGHT. According to tires, pedals, saddles, etc , from 27 to 30 pounds
The"MajVOO(l" has successfully passed through the experimental stage.
During the past three years we have put out over 5,000 'Olaywootls," placed in
the hands of riders of all classes and widely distributed through'the country Expert
riders and clumsy riders, heavy men and light men, on smooth roads and on rough
roads, havo given this wheel every conceivable test, proving it to lc the best wheel on
earth for every day use, a wheel that can be constantly used over the roughest and
hardest roads without showing weakness and the constant necessity of repairs. Its
construction is so simple, its vital parts so strong, thqt the possibility of breakage ii
reduced to a minimum.
' A PRICE THAT WILL REACH YOU.
Do pot imagine because it is not high priced it is not high grade. We do not UH
expensive hollow tubing, besides, we belong to no Combination or Trust.' We
own every patent, pay no royalties, manufacture the entire wheel ourselves and are
satisfied with a reasonable profit, employ no expensive racers, but depend upon the
good common sense of the American people to appreciate a good thing when they see
it. We can afford to make tho price we do for we expect to sell fen "Maywoods"
to one of any individual make sold We simply say that the "Maj'WOOci" is a per
fect Bicycle, containing more originality and genuine points of excellence than caa
be found in all other machines bunched together.
Cash Buyers' Union. Evanston, III , January so, 1896.
Mtssrs: In regard so "Mnywooil" Bicycle, I will say that I have found it (0
answer all purposes as guaranteed Lasrsummer I lode one from Chicago through
Michigan, Canada, and all over western New York and northern Pennsylvania. Not
withstanding the fact that I rode it over all kinds of roads and in places where many
mora expensive wheels would not have stood the test, it is still in'good condition.
C B. Seely, N. W. University.
PRICES AND TERMS.
840.00 Is our Special Wholesale Price.
Never before sold for less. To quickly introduce the
'Maywood" Bicycle, we hae decided to make a
special coupon offer, giving every reader of this paper a
chance to get a strictly first-class wheel at tho lowest
price ever offered. On receipt of $33,00 and coupon we
will ship anywhere, to anyone, the above described Bi
cycle, securely packed and crated and guarantee safe
delivery. Money refunded if not as represented after
arrival and examination. We will ship C. O. D with
privilege of examination, for S3G 00 and coupon, pro
vided $5.00 is sent with tho order as .1 guarantee or" good
faith. Wo send a written binding warranty with each
Bicyple. This is a chance of .1 lifetime and you cannot
afford to let the opportunity pass.
Address all orders to CASH BUYERS' UNION,
IB) Wft Van iurea 6trt,
O SPECIAL POINTS.
Does the neatest work, costs
the least to keep in order,
has interchangable Steel
Type, writes all languages.
Its many advantages are
too numerous"to mention.
Address for particulars,
THIS $75.00 COM
Conpon Ho. 1347
IF SENT WITH
No. 5 Maywood
Bi 1447, CHICAQO, ILL
sr -ju sw$35
umu v- sp D -ii,4ybsia.