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The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, October 31, 1899, Image 4

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THE TB WASHINGTON POST TUESDAY TUE TUEsDAYrEIt D Y OCTOBER 31 1899 18 7
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I j i By CUTCL1FPE HVNE HVNEi HYN HYN5sssusu I
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I I I t I 5sssusu of I I S US I S Ss S S S I S I S I SI t
0fJf1 t os ne l1L5 l1L5rr
rr i HR Hi Hf birth bttk of orOe the KM K ri riri Into oer oerI or orI
I ri world took ataee when she t tIlr
I to h le se had hadulromly 1ss4Irs4iV
T I Ilr ulromly nta N 1S tfcraiaji t tJ t tu1atl1 yearn yearnexistence
< existence u1atl1 etoewacre el et wkere Ta n meth methrf Met Metd methd
< d rf h iur r r arrival arr1v was carious cr be befrcm
> 7 i fr f from the h he Met foratalltt fNltH6 Tnt Tntt Tt Tta TheE
wtth Falr Falrrr
coincident lnl
young
t E v < et w ORg
rwfntyflrst birthday birthdayK blflhdayprtd
rr n P vonhrt ntyfrit blrba
K J 1 portod r young yoa Fairbairn Fairir was wu dur durinitsost durmtll1 durrntime
initsost mtll1 gracina Crq rdn Cambridge Cr4 ajnhr1de with withnet wih withrct
1 net net and occupied o the tb official otel po pov p
j v V r r f rox In the Hall second Hn boat boatt l
t i 1hr > < hr hir A bumptious bmp youth yotb and RO nd to ton t ta taTT
n IU worship rrrahlt the tle day d d on O which he hesciiy het heiIy
t sciiy iil iIy comsjieeice C M0Ce to ttrta N rnl himeelf himeelfvy hlmll htmClfaithuet
I I vy a aithuet lthw Ithul i let or O o hindrance hbrn he hen h hi
I i n a small 1a1 Iflflu hut ht very vt select SCt et gtag gtagr iUg iUgr Ig Igfl
r r r nry i Tb T The time U betas betz l long lg vac vaci raedflVfl a aI
i i I 4 Hn < > wn bachelor bclor menace eie sketchy sketchyi
t i took place at Ute Midland Ho Hon liohnlt
hnlt n it t home bo whore wh they th do things thingsr th1ngr
r r v t > 1 If you ou only ORI know klt how to give givei 11 11I ivs ivsI
i I I r Hut IU phis ts Is IsTr tons oii ago agoTri 0 0Tr
Tri Tr a fr frm m Iikley being awkward Car Cari
f I happened ta t kind in half an anre anre anre
re w We > were WC due ct and as no one onea j ja
a lS a 11 > t we Mrolted to the smokeroom smokeroomr
r rt r t hlItf11 uit ted over sherry and Utters UttersTH blttlSirm hitterorT I
irm TH rT this occupation we were re rum rumr
r r r t b > y a 1 waiter Wttt aIft who informed us usi usi usFalrbairn
i v unc i lt Fairbalrn was 311 in a private privatem private1fl4
m I Jrm rxnn knd nil dealred rcd audience of us usv UIIIOolr useatcrs
v IOolr eatcrs jt < rs manner was wa U constrained constrainedd
d jus julatd d that be had been having havingrTir having11l1 havingid
rTir 11l1 Ktid lid id to Rim because he found oc oci oc ocn ocn
i n to remark quite irrelevantly Irrelevltntl that thatWK thatI thatnr
I WK nlC Knfrbalrn was alJ a a most remarkable remarkablejTiy
jTiy rl y t lnIrnan lnIrnani n man manfiuixl
i t > fiuixl 111 him fuming ltIK and profane He Heof II IIlit Hejt
of jt taking legal Je al proceedings against againsti
1 i ur IJirICI 4re < e railway ralla company which hlch Ia al alt4V aln I Icy
< t4V > n iuune lu ane thing to do even for a uiwi aman
iwi B man He H held that the railway railwaym railwayniFI railwayflitY f
m niFI p iv krpt a hotel and under the theact
1 1 act t were tore bound to supply shel shelr t
r ar victual to any anyone one soever from fromrom fromom fromifn
rom om de < i > payment was u forthcoming At Atat Att
at t i r 1 It < f M his career young youn Fairbairn Pairbairnk I
k < i i jur 4irwurd rurd lJrd to taking up the th law spe sper
i > tr < r h ht had passed Ms general enera1 and andfiM andnqtiitly
j fiM ntljllItly < itntly spoke upon matters legal legalah leplt
ah t h all dl 11 the t he confidence onftdenc of a vast and andignorance andjiig
t < jillg ignorance ignoranceAnd Irnoraneef
j f a And PO I had the manager up upii uPI
ii i he h at the end of the indictment indictmentn
I n flJ tjiJ him straight what I thought thoughti thought1at
i tat confound it if she couldnt go gotli goII goI
tli II I restaurant Id have another prt prtn pu puIwflfl
I n It ruum and feed her there By U gum gamJ I i
OIJ J i to him whats halJII the use of a mans mansimnK mansiIJrij mansiinrg
imnK f age unless he can do as 1m 1mKt hIkr heht
Kt kr Anti now no what do Io you men think thinkhir thinkt
c hir tH t r Tiera she he Is IsHr I III IsuIt I
II Hr wivtd his h hand nd toward a small girl girli
ii i i sat in the farther angle an of the room roomu roomrUUIed roomLI
LI u griujied ourselves round the lire iireuiiiJ tirac lireiuiJ
c uiiiJ lid lit cigarette and examined oxamln d her herliT horILr herhr
liT i It iiv we wtn tr vague aJ1o about then but butttv blltIrj battird
ttv tird firl it was estimated at eight years yearsu ears earsLle
u are urc rc one visible garment like Ilk a po poisirK poIIK poK
isirK IIK K with ith the largest lar < l t hole down the thel thehlld
l jiiui iii btrause btau e she sat well back In the theiir theIr thehr
iir Ir lir fett and shins projected out of oflike oflk ofIkt
like lk jiink link sledgerunners Her features featuresirt foot foatureire urea ureart
irt rt < oyly oyl veiled vell by an ample grime of ofrt otrt ofrt
rt HII lIil her h 1 hair was all ratty and tangled tangledt
t we could guess at it as dark brown brownIIT brownIior brownr
IIT r ry yea 9 i were dark brown also there thereii
I o ii doubt about a out them they the were large largejak largeI largetik
jak I eyes etIf with scare in them and andf anl111l1t
1
f me uj iiitifulnesB I believe It was Wfl those thoses I
> s which caught young yocn Fairbairns Falrb lrns no noie nolt noC
ie C ffl n the first ftrl it > instance instanceThe InstanceTnt InstanceTnt
Tnt man of the evening waved his hand handtain handan handan
an Ive bought b ht that Kid I said he heHis heS
S His manner was comically comlcall solemn and andor nndir
or ir r grin rin was a little constrained Car Carnir Carasktl Carr
nir r It askel sket if his purchase was a freak freakor
or if i there was a solid reason for It ItTh ItThr ItThre
Th Thr Thre re was wa reason sir sirlumps lumps of It I Iv Jas Iwas I
v was as s slumming < down Swlnegate Swlneb te this after aftern afternn afternr
n nn n because Iftau there are china shops shopshr shophr shopsfl4
hr and fl4 Id J got some > ome money mone I wanted wantedo vantedThat anted antedft
o i i ild id That KW begged of me and I IH IJ
11 H J Jtr I r to get out of my m way W3 and go to tolevil tovii
< levil vii Afterward when I was flat flatniiS l1atpilK IlattPug
tPug niiS my nos nO nose d j against a shop window windowi wln ow owj
i nW iw a man hitting her over the head headih headi headah
ah ih i h his hi shut hut flat Now ow perhaps you youKips youiI ou ouIJ
Kips IJ will think I was a fool but I sud sudiy andy
L < iy y hankered hitllklr d to lick that man The Thet ThelIy
t u iy y drawback was that I obviously obviouslyIlUlnt obviouslyLIflt
l + IlUlnt LIflt He was mostly size and Lrawn Lrawni LrawnndY
i navvy CdVV when he chose to work I lue juess juessanj uess uesstflj s swJ
anj Im lmyell well you see I was coxing coxingir
j ir r two last Mays Ma and I had to train traind traindwn
I d dwn n Diplomacy was the only ticket so soi soI soA
i fferfil ered him sixpence to dry up upH
j 11 tuk It like a missionary mlsslonar box and andhe andhI andth
th he Kid stood on one side and rubbed her hert he heId hetThe
t Id ai she 11 didnt howl didnt even snivel snivelwinch snllWllh snivelWitch
winch was plvcky She only as I said saidruhbeil saidrulj saidribi
ruhbeil th places where here she was bumped bumpedTli bumpodTb
Tli Tb 1 h man fobbed the sixpence laughed laughedarJ laughedJ laughed3d
arJ J I looked IliO toJ like IIk going Then he changed changedMs changedmind
Ms 1 mind and asked a ktl why wh Id tipped tllI ed > him I Itcj I1o ItftId
tcj 1o him candidly enough that I did It as asn asmm
n alternative to thrashing thra hlng him I did didvani dMam didant
vani am vry Q much to hurt that man If Id Idhad Idfd idad
had ad a pietol II tol I should probably have shot shotbiraln shotiumIn shottimIn
biraln the leg I g say You know you ou men menI
I revT t vr could Juld bear ar to ace dogs and cats catsnl catsSn
I inj Sn nl animal I smashed about and I sup suplot supx
lot 1 > U it niupt lw the same when one looks looksm
I m iit t a kd netting ltInl battered But I didnt
1 know that before beforelyiuk itorel beforei4Itjk
l lyiuk lok v tc re guvnor says the man manafs mand maner
afs d 1 t I t en er kid to you ou Just you ou tell tellihit tellt I
r t hit V H < iiilnt mean to be truculent
1 Ii w hut a at atuJrtnty > iartntly ldrHlti asking a question out outiiivi outUristy
m iiivi curiosity l1rht I replied by sketching I
out ou t th I hllIg ig thorv thorvAiul tt > or orAlill
Aiul sutposin guvnor says the chap chapyou chapou chapi
i you ou s miw IW vv a bloke ahaggling on the thein timeal
in ic al Its of o a dawg with a meat me t saw > just
I lur r a bit If f
sjort what whatud ud you ou do
Kill him laid Iui I Ilwornptl promptly if I could coulduu
y uu JU little Uttl fiiitflr says the man And AndMitr Andu AndtIJI
tIJI u Mitr III to wasnt w < nt a shrimp like some
MK ru is I and V t said Vd ed see you ou Wowed WowedJ Wowedj
iid J vnt rl n with Is bit of s sport > JoOrt rt whatd whafdXu whatdIht whatddo
Xu do dol thenr thenrt bl
i iy tht ih dog dogth OJ
I t I i < > th diwg Phew Thats yer 81 Ht Htin
j t dl in is is it Well eii I wonder It you youto youIJ YOUspend
IJ < I < to spend your our money mone on other
0 u MO 0 k i That Vre re gal al as to be correct cor t
fd 01 o r in 1 ti h H od id of her manners When hen she shea aheIj
4 Ij t a 1 n rn ocrpere she h arM rm > a whackin whackinn
III J L Arid it 8IIe Itta stays en eln Ieeing my Y
I I n II KjK 11 lo treat her to another anotherJust
I k I jU Just l about lMt isew w But Im open openy
to tOai
r a I
bl your ur IMteeT IMteeTrr p4errf
rr
rOWII rOWIIs
I s y Yur ur money moesyi
1 cjson of beer beervu beer14Ute r rIt
i
vu It I irul IJIlIte FH are ve you that as
a w 1 1 i hope h yottH CM drunk naRk and hit hitHij I I
I Hij d j get run in net tJiaf t t all
t r Z out oj of me Me a sad 4 1C you wont wonti W ftt fttjar
jar ar 11011 i ii ne 1 Kid Id fee that tJeat yxw ye and she shei ikethi R Rthe
i the devil yo Jour r own 8WKOJ wy wyr
OJ r gay J i 1M j man and < over ore
h i i s yiur > banes and 541 seed and awJo
a it o u1 M may ibc i1s do ya yaoc4 y ieI
I > oc4 Far coocluded coadude1y
y y 1 i ItidlUP idcaA ioU d up a stray haiuom haiuomKI haniomnlive I Il 1
KI l her aU a10AI a2on o hem and no nov r rwJju Im Iiowh I Irtlt i
wJju wh QH o earth rtlt Im 1 gains to do dou doIL
0 11 u 1 fIn n the th chair wee picking picklgehoe lekl choc chocrioitji
ollird rioitji out of a large Ian wfcite aatln aatlnx Ur UrI
I I x iKertnc ioerIa at mt Intently with withrt I
i f l1gt rt 1 dugs d yes M she e ate t She re rein re
> u r j in of f MUM 1M animal IaI feeding f fee4in fee4inr 1tS
ir rlt t time U tim in h 1 eapiiTlty eapiiTltyr
n t
S p > h r three t h rL men a of tbe part perty rty bad badiy
1 iy this and on OM of f them t 1n dellv dellvf dell dillan
t
f an opinion opinionj opinionbg i ilK
j > lK MAkt W this Solon oIon you can canr J
r iUe in away It if you UII know of any
V
J
J KJI 101111 iI > nougti nou flOg ta take Mm hi hlmt a a moa raoafci
r
fci j > dLTcrnt H IInt No one wouid ow have haveriiin hav havllrllln hwrsar1iin
riiin like Irk that for a present pretle t and andtirejudice uJtrfJlldl andrJitJ
tirejudice trfJlldl rJitJ against qut the sbootittg sbootittgin otwi otwij
j > in S m 1tteC > > He4 U t this thrt sort Tell you youola youoid uu uuold
old nun thews aothh nothing tlll for forj
iu r j haw got her bcrl exoafMtna asgse1n q udo uilopi uilopiII alIopr t
II KM to I yoiimlf Shes aU fles too old for forI
I d t you OU might Iht cull hut your youri
1 i ii 41ft < io hav luveclk uveaj aanu aanuiiitciuied usiat
t 1oL iiitciuied iitCij for aumor The idea IdeatI
tI iTrfiAdast rirrs4ite adopting ad any an chtid chtidii culdrl chttdrta
rl rta ii J lf I tut that w Wt < howtd at thf thfor th
l1ln aacu > or c tu H Tie day before L tore youpj youpjI uUj
I
I 1
Htrlra I lrlNilrn would have laHghed top but butnow butiCaney butnew
now Ms hI Infancy had paMed pa eJ from him himand himaad himand
aad and fun t of a new and grotocnue dignity dignitybe dlgnltbe dignitybe
be oboes te resent our seottinga seottingaI
I say r yeu ftU men men he drawled out outyour outur outyoure
your ur rather brutes you OU know because becausethe becausethe becausetk
the tk Kids KW probably listening I believe believethr believethf believethe
the understand understandWe
We e sobered down a little and Carnegie Carnegieremarked CarnegiertM8rked Carnegierissarked
remarked that It was dinner time and andtbat anttbat andthat
tbat wed better pack her off to the work worthouse wor worhoua workhouse
house houa
houseverkboue
Workhouse laid FairbAirn thought thoughtfully thoughtfully thoughtfully ¬
fully The workhouse Is a rather awful awfulth awtulsort awfulsort
sort or hIe oIe lut It Whatd they do wltn wltntlt witnthe
th the Kid therer thererWash tbretWah there thereWash
Wash It dr dress g It It f tud d It and teach U Usaid It ItCrnie itsaid
said Carnegie At t the age of about thir thirteen thtrtHlt thlrteen ¬
teen It would matriculate Into usefulness usefulnessprobably uefulnS8probably usefulnessprobably
probably an general slavey 811lve to a small smalltradesman smalltradesnan smalltradesman
tradesman tradesmanDoesnt tradesnanDofosnt tradesmanDoesnt
Doesnt sound very ery choice said young youngFalrbalrn youngFalrbnlrn roun rounPalrbnlnt
Falrbalrn thoughtfully thoughtfullyStandards thoughtfullyStandards thoughtfully8landtirds
Standards differ remarked Carnegie Carnegiedryly Carnegiedryly Carnegiedryly
dryly If that kid were turned Into the thehumblest thehJtm thehumblest
humblest hJtm l St of slaveys It would be promotion promotionfrom promotionfrollt promotionfrom
from her present V ent point of view viewHere viewhere Iew IewHere
Here a 1 waiter came In In announcing that thatdtuner thatdiuuier j
dinner was ready read Young Fairbalrn want wantted wantted wantted
ted to stay ta and discuss dlscu the matter fun turlher turlherbut her herbut herbut
but we pointed out to him that It waa a arudeness arudtnesa arudenma
rudeness to his guests which we couldnt couldntallow couldntallow
allow him to commit on any an terms and 80 80we sowe o owe I
we trooped off leaving Instructions that thatthe thatthe thatthe
the Kkl should > h uld also dine In the seclusion seclusionof
of the sittingroom hired for her herThe berThe herThe
The dinner was distinctly dl tlnclly gorgeous and andthe andthe andthe
the blue and gold menus had crests cn ts on onthen ontien onthen
then enameled In three colors We e were weregiven weregIven weregiven
given seven different kinds of wine and andfour andtour andfour
four liqueurs IIqu lIrs during dinner and four wines wineaafter winesaCter vinesafter
after and eightyyearold cognac co nac in the thecoffee thecollee thecoffee
coffee Barbaric splendor spl ndor of this variety varietyparticularly vartet vartetparticulQrl varietyparticularly
particularly when taken Internally In Induced Induced Inleced ¬
duced generosity genuro > tty which hlch one sometimes re repents repentll rejients ¬
pents of afterward afterwardYoung afterwardYoung afterwardYoung
Young FaSrbairn hold that the Parcae Parcaehad Parcaehad Parcaehad
had nicked that KiB Kl from the gutter to toLeeome toLeoome toLerome
Leeome a power In the land and we all allcjuite allIulle allluite
cjuite agreed with him It was suggested suggestedthat sugge suggestedthat tcd tcdth
that th t one of the barmaids should take her herin herIn herIn
in charge to Inculcate personal cleanliness cleanlinessand cleanlinessand s sknd
and the use of shoes without further de delay de dela dolay ¬
lay la but because you ou cannot tip a bar barmaiden barmalden barmaiden
maiden we fell back on the services son ices of a achambermaid achambermaid I
chambermaid for this thl purpose Having Havingtaken lI havingtaken vln vlnlaken
taken that first ft t step we Mont about plot plotting plottin plotting ¬
ting tin schemes sch mes of education and upbringing upbringingfor upbringnfor
for the Kid each man speaking conft confilI9f1t1y commfidently
dently from the depths of his own pro profound IroCound profound ¬
found inexperience Finally not being beingable beingahle beingable
able to agree we got affectionate and left leftdetails lertdetails Let Letdetails
details entirely in the hands of young youngFalrbalrn youngFairbairn oung oungFairbairn
Fairbairn As a preliminary we handed handedround huudc huudcround haudedround <
round the hat making up in I O Us and andcurrency andcurrenc andcurrency
currency currenc a matter of fifty pounds This Thiswould Thiswould Thiswould
would not cover the entire expenses of ofeven ofeven ofeven
even the cheapest of the schemes pro propounded propounded proriounded ¬
pounded but there was a sort of dim un understanding understanding tinderstanding ¬
derstanding that young Fairbairn would wouldprovide woulllprohle wouldprovide
provide the balance out of his own privy privypuree prlTpune privypurse
puree After this I fancy we went to tobed tobed tobed
bed bedFrom II IIFrom I I IFrom
From the undergraduate standpoint standpointthere standpointthere standpointthere
there was nothing disgraceful in the trifle triflevhlch triflehtch triflewhich
which htch early In the next October cut cutshort cutshort cutshort
short young oung Fairbairns career of useful usefulness mcCulness taefulness ¬
ness at Cambridge Anglicized It may maysuccinctly mayslIccInctI maysuccInctly
succinctly slIccInctI be SIoken of as rioting with a aview alew aview
view lew to the destruction of public monu monuments menuments ¬
ments to wit lampposts But the thedeed thedeed
deed In Itself did not prove his additional additionallitneas additionalUln66S additionallitness
litneas to remain as guardian to the Kid KidAnd KitIAmI K1dAnd
And for that matter tho ramifications ramificationsof
of his subsequent insanities before the thepublic thepublic thepublic
public eye here in England were even less lessassuring lessassurIng lessassuring I
assuring lIe piled up a reputation for forvildne forlidne8s forwildness
vildne wildness lidne8s s which was as little short of f ma majestic maJ innjestic ¬ I
jestic J stlc in its weight elght and he ran through a afourthrate afurthrota afourthrate
fourthrate fortune as though it was wasmerely wasIller wasmerely
merely Iller pocketmoney pocketmoneyYet pockclmoneYet
Yet no one took away from him him his hisguardianship hisuardllnshlp hisguardianship
guardianship Perhaps no one wanted want cd to toThe torrhe toThe
The only other persons in the world who whocould whocould whocould I
could feel the least interest In the Kids Kidswelfare KIdswelfare Kidswelfare
welfare were we five others who had sat satat satat satat
at meat with him on that day of the theKids theKids theKids
Kids new birth and none of or us moved movedperhaps movedperhaps movedperhaps
perhaps we could not summon up sum sufficient sumclent sufildent ¬
dent Interest perhaps we feared to be belet beItt belot
let in for further expense expenseStill expenseStill expensestill
Still It must be owned that though the theYoungun theYoungun theYoungumi
Youngun did finger his own affairs with withthe withthe withthe
the unwisdom of the wild ass he showed showedsanity showedsanity showedsanity
sanity when ordering the welfare of his hisprotege hisprotege hisprotege
protege A year at school made that thatyoung thatoul1g thatyoummg
young oul1g woman Into another person She Shehad Shehad Shehad
had still a howling accent but she didnt didntswear dldntswear didntswear
swear and she was dropping unconven unconventional unconventiOnal unconventional ¬
tional Idioms In two years enrs the accent accenthad accenthad accenthad
had modified still further and she was wasdistinctly wasdlstlncU wasdIstinctly
distinctly dlstlncU lit for civilized society soclat She Shehad Shehad Shelund
had wonderful receptive powers With VIth a anice amce anice
nice discrimination she imitated the bet better bettH better ¬
ter methods of speech and life which she shesaw shefnw shesasv
saw In her new surroundings Young YoungFairbairns YoungPalrbalrns YoungFairbalrns
Fairbairns only on lucid intervals In his hiscareer hIscareer hiscareer
career of descent were during the schools schoolsholidays schoolshclltIas schoolshelidays
holidays Then he took holidays too tooand tooan tooand
and an quiet lodgings aiid in these rlgJdly rlgJdlyadhered rlgdlyadhered nlgdlyadhered
adhered to the Kids society She soon soonlost soonlit soonlost
lost her sacred awe of him and called calledhim calledhim calledhim
him Youngun as easily e15Il as any an of us could couldhave couldhl1ve couldhave
have done It ItIn ItIn itIn
In ways the Kid was W 1i a very cr cry old sort of ofchild ofchild ofchild
child nnd n1 to hear her read young Fair Fairbairn Fairblurn Fairbairn
bairn lectures and rate him generally generallyabout generallyabout generallyabout
about his misdeeds was a moral and im ImprovIng Imimroving
proving rcci reclootlon cation I was dining with withthem wjththm withthem I
them one day In just ju = t before be Core things came to toan toan toan 1
an end eu She sat at the head of the table tableas tableaa tableas
as thn th thitii h she had been born In the par purple Iur11e parpie ¬
pie We discussed with relish the ways waysof waysof waysof
of ridingmusters till the entries came cameand cameand cameand
and then she broached the topic of offinance orIImmce ofItnance
finance financeShe IImmceShe ItnanceShe
She turned to me and demanded what I Ithought Ithousht Ithought
thought wn was as the Younguns latest craze crazeI
I said I didnt know knowWhy knowhy j jWhy
Why hy said she lies actually wanting wantingto
to peqk me off to a school which will cost costt costAt costat
At t the very ery least two hundred hundr d a year yearand yearand ear earand
and hes us hard up as ever ev r he can be I Idont 1dont Idont
dont intend to go 0 they the can touch too h me as asmuch astrteh asmuch
much as ever I want where I am fisnt TIsntas fisntas fImtas
as If I wanted allt d to turn governess after afterward afterward afterward ¬
ward wardThe
The Kiddles present notion said saidyoung saidyoung saidyoung
young Fairbalrn is to turn shop assist assistant aSIStant assIsteat ¬
ant in a year ear or sos time Humorous HumorousWoe HumorousMoo Humorousidea
Woe isnt it itShop ItShop
Shop assistant explained the Kid Kidgravely KIdcnlely Kidgravely
gravely as a step to something somethingelse oomethlnsotSQ somethingelse
else I havent quite decided l hl d y yet yetbut t tbut tbut
but I think it will be in a photographers photographersplace phot photographersplace 1tphers 1tphersplace
place Im not old enough yet tJt nd I Ishell Ishdl Ishfl
shell sponge on the Young You Yotmngun Cun un for another anotherl anothertwo l11othertWO
l tWO wo year eah that will bring twin me up 11 to six sixteen sixteen sixteen ¬
teen and th them n Ill begin Do you t knew knewMr knGwtr knowlr
Mr lr McGlibv 1 shouldnt be b surprised sutJ ri If IfI itI ifI
I meade a big fortune fortuneYoung trlunerYouS fortuneYosni
Young Flrbairn roared hue tbe Kid Kidtook Kidtook XIIItook
took his mockery 1l1Mk r with 1th easy C4UI ooetoees 009 The Theday Theday meday
day afterward I ran across to iho ta h West W5tIndies Westindies 3t 3tIndies
Indies IndiesI
I saw the Kid next n t some six months af after after atter ¬
ter this and i abe > he comment ooMmwnt4I on young youngPailbairns youngPairbairims OUllb
Pailbairns having received It snug colo colonll 0010i eel eelMa
nll Ma aupolntntoat 1t Personally P tJIOnalh I was 8 un under Utid umider ¬
der d r the tl Impression ImlJl ion that tb u the individual ldlldu 1 in inquestion InttueUn Inquestl
question questl fl had come a mo mo t tremendous tremendousmucker ttfllt tresaendeusmucktr ndous ndousmucktr
mucktr and bad cleared cl red out of the coun country country coontry ¬
try with suddenness lllUd ltn lest worse wor befell eettbut hostbut
but 1 didnt correct her view vt K and when whenI
I learned rn that twoquarters school fa fe feI ft ftI
I I had been paid since i1J > the exodus I won wondvred wondvred 00 00i
i dvred rtd muoh where the th money mon had come comefrom comcI cont contfrom
from fromTbe IrlftI fromThe
I
The Kids education edueati n and other expenses expensestooetl etpen5e8uo expensestuoel
I
tooetl uo cI up at that period W oo to tilUlte quit uite OS9 fih per peritutum reIYouQC pernaumn
itutum Young Falrbalrn l lm had to t live him himself himaeU hintselt
self somewhere meh re boroehow and mull he h heleft
left thee stores 1m I had never done an anI anhuuris m mI
I hours bour work In his life Moreover fOr O < he was waseminently wallelektly wasehkfltIy
I
eminently unfitted by both oioeiUeR < and anditHbtts aDdWt an4ssdMt
itHbtts ssdMt Wt for Uw awiutoltlen a ut ttl9n of r wealth Ho Hobad Houti Hoi41d
bad shown great ability lttY to t spend 8pcU it anti amiooarenos nadCOlI antiooisverses
ooarenos COlI YfiG IU are r tMridtra 1MI4dc true trueWhen tMi trueWhen e eWkcn
When I s saw w that those school I fees fte con continued 08ftUntied eontinned ¬
Untied lo 0 bo paid these wallow furnished furnishedm
m HU Jew with food 1 fer reMectlen reMectlenHI r6 rekoctisaIII tIn tInIII
III HIThere IIIThere IIIThere
There was certainly certalnl something abotft abotftthe nboutthe nbeotthe
the Kids methods which one Olt could not notiieip nolhelp nothelp
help udcuirfof True to her previous an
I
nenaaeroent at the age of o elxlwi lxle fI fclie fclietook s1etook e eteok
took herself away from rom school and got a aJob aJell ajob
Job In a big photographer shop hop She Shehad Shehael he hehad
had to begin at the bottom penciling nctllng In Inladles InladlN Inladies
ladles eytbrowf 6tbnlW I IluPJOIe suppose and tinkering tinkeringup
up their back hair and helping them to totheir totheir totheir
their cloaks when ben they tht > had finished a sit sitting sitting sitting
ting Then she he worked in the office then thenas thenaa thenas
as a retoucher which brought her h r up upto uptothe to tothe tothe
the 14 age of nlnrttoen At this period Carne Carnegie Carnegie Camegle ¬
gie met m t her Again n ln and wan more Impress Impressed Impreuod impressed ¬
ed than he afterward aft Wani liked likedI
I had the story ory from his hi own lips lipsI
I was never so struck In my life life he hesaid beMid hesalti
said I went Into the shop to get some somecabinets someOI someoabtaets
cabinets OI done done don and who wh should I see I but butthe butthe butthe
the Kid pretty prett as a picture and manag managing managIng macagbig ¬
ing half the thebusllMd business She was full of ofwork orwork ofwork
work work and ouldat talk with me then but butthey buttlloy butthey
they dosed Itt it C and I walked w ked home with withher withher withher
her Do Dom you U know shes hes actually aetuan putting puttingway puttingaway puttingaway
away way moaey Earns it It too That sweep sweepyoung sweepetrng sweepyoung
young Falrbalrn has dropped his remit remittarces r remittarcesI mft mfttarcetJI
tarces tarcetJI I never never made out how he kept keptthtm keptUooem keptthtm
thtm going as Ion l long n as he did didand and shes shesbeen sbesbfieft shesbeen
been living entirely on her own ever since sincehe sincehe sinceahe
ahe he loft school schoolAnd IIchoolAndhe ichoolAnd
And Andhe he said more things but I saw sawJhere SttWhere sawhere
here was something still further and I Ipressed Ipresed Ipressed
pressed Carnegie and heard It ItYoure It ItYoure itYture
Youre right MeG cGu he said with a asort asort asort
sort of groan I did see more of her In Infact Intact Infact
fact I stayed on In town just because I Iwanted Ianted Iwanted
wanted to meet me t her every day Its rath rather rather rather ¬
er ludlcrious tent it for a man of my myposition m mp8slUon myposition
position to care for a girl whod developed developedfrom developedfrom developedfrom
from that KW She told sale < ne so too tool tooIgive I j jgive iKivu
give her all credit for that She didnt didntdraw dIdntdraw didntdraw
draw me on an In Inch and Im sure she shewu j jwas I IO
was O honestly honesU sorry wnen I disregarded disregardedvernl disregardedseveral i iseveral
several vernl blunt warnings and proposed to toher i iher iher
her But she wouldnt hear of it Itsaid said she shedidnt shedidnt
didnt care for me in that way and andwasnt andwasnt andwasnt
II IIdldnt
wasnt going to marry me for money moneyBald monoyMid amonoysaid
Bald shed been beholden enough to us usmen usmen usmen
men already and was going to play the therest j jrest Irut
rest of the game through with her own ownhand ownhand ownhand
hand Shes going to start up a place on onher onher onher
her own hook directly but she wouldnt wouldnteven wou1l1nten wouldnteven
even en let me advance a pound or two to tothe tohelp tohelp
help her 110at that She says shell get getthe I Ithe
the necessary necessar credit In the proper quarter quarterand quarterand
and fight It through on her own business businessmerits businessmerUs businessmerits I
merits I tell you ou Mac 111C old man she has haspluck haspluck ha hapluck
pluck that Kid Id of ofI I wish I could even evensay cvenSI1 evensay
say SI1 of ours But she Isnt ours any an long longer longer longor ¬
er She Isnt even young Fairbairns be because because because ¬
cause hes gone under Shes just her herown herown herown
own and I believe as she says saS shell see seeIt seeIt seeIt
It through alone
IV IVTho IVThe IvThe
The Kid did start that photographic photographicbusiness photograpblcbusIness photographicbusiness
business on her brazen brazen own and it pros prospered prospored prospored ¬
pored and grew gro and overflowed Into sec sections sections seetions ¬
tions and subsections with four studIos studIosIn
in London and six in the big provincial provincialtowns pronneltdtowns provincialtowns
towns For Art with a big A the Kid Kidcared I Kidcared ld ldcared
cared not one little hang but she knew knewwhat knewwhat knewwhat
what the public wanted which is to be bemade bemade bemade
made to to look pretty plett on a card for a run reasonable roosonable runsonable ¬
sonable price and she did this for them themand themand themand
and thats why she caught on The Themounts Themounts Themounts
mounts of her photographs were ere punch punched punched punched ¬
ed with a mere surname and initials and andpeople an anpeopl andpeople
people took it for granted that they be belonged belonged belonged ¬
longed to a man The Kid never went out outanywhero outanywhcrn outanywhere
anywhere knew no one except strictly strictlybusiness strictlybuslnc strictlybusiness
business s people ople and was known by b none noneShe non nonShe nOneShe
She made her one and only object in life lifethe 1f 1fthe lIfethe
the amassing of money and because she shestuck shestuck shestuck
stuck to this aim and md never departed departedfrom departedrom departedfrom
from rom It she became the possessor Ilossas < or of ofstocks ofstocks ofstocks
stocks and shares and majestic bank ac accounts accounts accoulits ¬
counts which would have made London Londonstare Londontare Londonstare
stare tare If London had known about them themAt themAt themAt
At the commencement of proceedings proceedingsshe procel proceedingsshe dins dinsshe >
she had fixed a pecuniary goal post to tomake tomake tomake
make for towit 250000 She didnt mere merely merely merely ¬
ly hope for It she made up her mind de decidedly decldedl decidediy ¬
cidedly cldedl that she would get it which hlch is isthe Isthe Isthe
the way Va with successful people peopleWhen peopleI peopleWhen
I When the Kid had reached her mark markwhich markwhich markwhich
which she did at the absurdly early age ageof ageof ageof
of seven and twenty twentshe she did a very ery pe peculiar peculiar peculiar ¬
culiar thing She chucked up the business businessentirely businessentirel businessentirely
entirely entirel It was put to her very ery plainly plainlythat plainlythat plaialythat
that If she would still remain the nominal nominalhead nominalhea nominalhead
head hea a limited liability company could be befloated beI10ated beIloated
floated on most advantageous terms But Butshe nutshe Butshe
she wouldnt do this she wanted to cut cutIt cutIt cutit
It altogether altogctherand and subsequently she sold It Itfor Itf Itfor
for f r a painfully small price And now that thatsame thatsame thatsame
same business Is going downhill every everyday ever everday everyday
day because the present owners dont dontrun dontI dontrun
run It with the nous no us which our Kid Kidbrought KIdbrought Kidbrought
brought to bear bearI
I was in town and called on the Kid just justafter justaCter justafter
after she had completed the sale She Shespoke Shetpoke Shespoke
spoke of a great many things and finally finallywound ttnallywound finallywound
wound up by b stating that a fortune had hadbeen hadbeen hadbeen
been left out of remorse to young ounb FaIr Falrbalrn FaIrbairn Fairbairn ¬
bairn by b some one who had swindled him himon himI himoil
on the turf turfOn turfOn turfOn
On the strength of one or two vague vaguehints Yl vaguehints e ehints
hints gathered gather tl from what had gone be before before before ¬
fore I spoke up upMy upIy up31y
My Iy dear Kiddie I said you always alwaysused alwaysused alwaysused
used to be a truthful parson parsonAnd parsonAnd personAnd
And still remain so soAs soAs soAs
As a general thing thIngperhaps perhaps But not notabout notabout notabout
about this legacy of the Penitent Thief ThiefHes ThieCHes ThiefHes
Hes blatantly blatantl apocryphal apocryphalHe
He shall exist Mac if I choose it to be beso beso beso
so He is anonymous and repentant and anddead anddead anddead
dead Also Iso the money will be placed to tothe tothe tothe
the Younguns account account and if he doesnt doesntuse doesntuse doesntuse
use it the whole wh ie lot will lie idle doing doingnothing doingnothlng doingnothing
nothing nothingKiddie nothlngKilldle nothingKIudie
Kiddie I am beginning to believe with withCarnegie withCarnegie withCarnegie
Carnegie that you OU are about the best bestgirl bestgirl bestgirl
girl In the world worldBlarney worldmarney worldBlarney
Blarney Mac Iac I tell you again that thatthe thatthe thatthe
the Penitent Thief bequeathed the mon money mone monAnd meney ¬
ey e
eyAnd
And I repeat that I dont believe a aword aword aword
word of it Youre showing gratitude of ofa ora ofa
a sort which I thought was only made up upby upby upby
by the novelist folk folkGratitude rollcGratitude folkGratitude
Gratitude Rubbish RubbishI Ru bish bishI
I leaned my head over her and spoke spokevery spokevery spokevery
very quietly quietlyThen qcletlThen quietlyThen
Then If It t isnt gratitude KIddie Its Itsits ItsIts itsits
its the other thing thingThen thingThen thingThen
Then for perhaps the first time in her herlife herUfe herlife
life our Kid lost her coolness She start started started startefi ¬
ed flushed dropped her head against my myshoulder m mshoulder myshoulder
shoulder Oh Mac Iac old friend she said saidIf saidI saidif
If you only knew how Ive felt about the theYoungun theYoungun
Youngun all these years ears It Isnt common commonsordid commonsonlld commonsordid
sordid gratitude alone It is Isthe the other otherthing otherthing otherthing
thing as well It was that way wa from the thevery thevery timevery
very beginning bt lnnlnt when I sat eating those thosechocolate thosechocolate thosechocolate
chocolate almonds out of that white satin satinbox satinox satinbox
box and an you ou men stood tood back of the fire fireand fireand fireanti
and talked over my destiny You thought thoughtI
1 dldnt understand understand I did I took in every everyword everyword everyword
word and I remember who said what whatCarnegie whatCarnegie whatCarnegie
Carnegie suggested the workhouse You YouBut YouBut YouBut
But never mind that now Mac Macyou Macyou Iac Iacou
you ou always alwl s were a good oo sort But It was wasthe wasthe wastime
the Youngun who was the best of o you ou all allHe illHe allHe
He might be a rackety fool he might be bethis bethis bethis
this that and the other all you ou say and andmore anImort andsmiore
more > Still it was he who pulled me out outof outof outof
of the gutter utter and h he r who brought me up upYou upYou upYou
You dont know you ou can never know knowwhat knowwhat knowwhat
what the Youngun did for me m < Mac Iae anu anuhe anihe an anhe
he thought I didnt know didnt see > half halfthe halfthe halfthe
the sacrifices he made Im not emotional emotionalold emotionalold emotionaloki
old friend and I never er said much then thenand thenand thenand
and thats perhap why I felt all the themore themore themore
more deeply dt > epl Ive never spoken about aboutIt aboutIt aboutIt
It to a living soul yet ot but you were here hereand hereandandI hereandandI
and andandI aad I had to tell Somehow I Icouldnt Icouldn Icouldnt
couldnt t keep Jt to myself any an longer longerMac lonerIac longerMac
Mac Iac do you ou know how the Youngun Youngunsot Youngunot Youngungot
sot ot money mnc to keep me those last two twoyears tworears twoyears
years at school He labored with his hishands hishand hishands
hands and he pawned his labour for years yearsto yearsto yearsto
to come cOUteye yea Mac sold himself hlms lt into slav slavcry sla slaery slavcry
cry and wrote rote me cheery lines that he hehad hekad hehod
had an easy colonial appointment And Andtbat Andthat AniJthat
that was a men who was under no hu huJan homan
man idelge 1CJ e to m mil whatever wftutey whutetora l a man who whohad wholead wholaad
had bought me in the street street bone and andsoul adsoul andsoul
soul for half a crown and a gallon of ofteer of1eer ofkeer
teer teerI
I didnt know all this Who would wouldhave wouldIlave wouldhave
have guessed that yourg blackguard to bo bohalf bolalC belalf
half Mich uct a good fellow Kiddie dear d 8l If ifI
1 were la your our shots sho I should Ion the tfctrattan tMrutlan theruiftan
rattan wysalf wysalfThe 1IIJl6IfMIa 2n3IfThe
The Kid KId gave I my m am a squeeze UeeH ueez and aadwent andweRt andwent
went on onFind onFlnl OnFind
Find him for me Mao IaoGnd find him hlmtlM hlmtlMbrlBI 1dmandbring and andbring
bring him back to England and to whats whatshis wha whahis whatshis
his I cant get trace of him myself myselfthough myselfthough elt eltthough
though I sent M t a man out to the Cap Ca two twoyears tWOjt1ltS t t3ear
years jt1ltS back and kept him there tller unUi be behad behad behad
had looked l okel into the face of every Eng Engrtaaman EneIMitman Engilobman
rtaaman In Southern Africa and yet I Iknow Ik1IOw Iknow
know that he is alive somewhat I ama sjasure aJaaur amasorb
sure aur sorb of it it I cant toll you ou why but I am amsure aJI1au amaura
sure au auraitight re
sureHight renight night you 00 are KWdle the Younsan Is Isalive IsaU isahite
alive aU or was a month back backShe backShe beckhe
She he turned upon me almost fiercely fiercelyMac flereelYMse IlereelyMac
Mac Mse Mac I havent deserved dOIM d this thisWk tbbh timisiWit
Wk h didnt you tail me meMB nleT nleTHD ateHI3aimse
MB HI3aimse eaiic t1e my dear KM I didnt know knowwhether DOWybutlHtr knowwhether
whether it t was good to enlighten enlllh fID you youThe fPUThe ytpmmThe
The Yoangun Y un as he at present ateati ads Ii Iiitot IIHot isimot >
Hot a desirable object to bring back to taBnztaud toBn tothiglaimd >
Bnztaud Bn ud and poverty Your Y You man didnt didntfine dthmtfltid
fine him at t the Cape bt kocaw < cnue uae ho wasnt wasntthere wasutthue wasntthere
there He went w nt on to Florida FJrlJA orange oranre
growing totln A fullsfrength regiment reglm nl of ofether ofether ofcUter
ether men me have M goat there for the same samepame slntepm annieitame
pame pm ant tf all the orange trees tre were wereequally wereQuail wereequally
equally Quail divided up there might be one onetn per perman prtrain
man tn n As It Is the Youngun hasnt got gothie gothl gOthis
his hl and he resides re l es In a palmetto shack shacknear shacknear shacknear
near Naples and subsists on mullet and andfiweet andsweet andSweet
sweet potatoes potatoesMac potatoesIa potatoesMac
Mac Ia is he atone atoneI aJoner aJonerI
I laughed and stooped down ana kissed kissedher kissedher kissedher
her on the heir hairAll heirAll heirAll
All right Kiddie hes living en garcon garconand garconand garconand
and as yours feel enough to want him himyou himOu himyou
you Ou shall 8hlU hare the b beast ast Ill 1 go and andclothe an anclothe andclothe
clothe him him tell him about the Penitent PenitentThief PenitentThleC PenitentThief
Thief and bring him over overV overNow oveV oveNoW overV overNow
V
Now Id madeup made tup my 10 mind Inc that this thiswas thIswa thiswas
was wa going to be one onti of those Ideal things thingsone thlng3one thingsone
one read about abouta a match that was as a love lovematch lovemRtch lovescatch
match on both sides but after six months monthshad monthshad monthshad
had gone by I began to have strong strongdoubts stron strondoubts strongdoubts
doubts as to whether it would turn out outInto outInto outinto
Into a match at all Youn Young Fairbalrn Fairbalrnswallowed FaIrbairnswallowecl Fairbaimnswallowed
swallowed the Penitent Thief yarn yarnlock yarnlock yarnhock
lock stock and barrel and brought a afrock nfrock a afrock
frock coat and fine linen He was prob probably probaNy probably ¬
ably the happiest man In London and andassumed andassumed andassumed
assumed an air of easy patronage with withthe withthe withthe
the Kid for which I lusted to kick him himHe hImHe hintHe
He hadnt aged one bit in his years of ofvagabondage ofagllbonda ofvagabendae
vagabondage agllbonda e beeause among his few fewvirtues fewvIrtues fewvirtues
virtues he I did not drink and was not notaddicted notaddicted notaddicted
addicted to h bf headwork adwork He looked l very verysmart verysmart verysmart
smart and debonair but when I saw him himtaking himtaking hinttaking
taking the Kid about and playing the therole therol timerole
role rol of benevolent uncle I felt more than thanriled thanrflCJ thanriled
riled She poor girl looke1 wretched wretchedyet wretchedet wretchedyet
yet et what could a man do A third per person person person ¬
son who Interferes in these matters is isusually IsUlmaUy isusually
usually in the future cut dcd G d by both bothparties bothparties bothparties
parties partiesBut partiesnut partiesBut
But at lafit I could stand it no longer longerYoung longerYoung longerYoung
Young Fairbairn with his absurdly pa patronizing patronizing patronizing ¬
tronizing airs made me burst rabidly Into Intospeech Intospeech Intospeech
speech speechD
D you ou know Mac ac he said one day dayat dayat dayat
at the club that when I first came back backhere backhem backhere
here I very nearly got mashed on that thatKid thatKid thatKid
Kid of ours Thought of marrying her herI herI herI
I mean Fact I really did By the way wayhavent wayhaent wayhavent
havent you ou ever thought Its queer she shenever shenever j jnever
never did pick up a husband Shes jolly jollygoodlooting jollygoodlooking j
goodlooking shes rich and I swear no noone noone noone
one would ever spot she Isnt a lady ladynut ladyBut j
But nut he concluded reflectively t I be believe believe 1 1lieve
lieve shes one of those curious women womenwho womenwho womenwho
who dont care twopence for any man manIt manIt manIt
It was then that I rose In my wrath wrathand wrathand wrathand
and shamefully abused part of a wo womans womans womans ¬
mans confidence and rent young oung Fair Fairbairn Fairbairn Fairbairn
bairn Into startled start1 1 fragments I spoke spokeof spokeof spokeof
of the Penitent Thief He had puzzled puzzledover puzzledover puzzledover
over that Individual a little but not notmuch notmuch notmuch
much didnt see that his identity mat mattered mattered mattered ¬
tered so long as the money was there thereBut thereDut thereBut
But when I drew his more special atten attention attention attention ¬
tion to the story he saw that that de decensed deceased tieceased
ceased robber was an utterly Impossible Impossibleand Impossibleand impossibleand
and apocryphal personage and another anotherlight anotherlight anotherlight
light began to dawn upon him himMy himIy himMy
My Iy word McG cG Is this really true trueDidnt lrueDldnt trueDidnt
Didnt this fellow ever exist And Is it itthe Itthe itthe
the Kid who has really pensioned me meUse meT meTUse meUso
Use the small wit the fates have given gIvenyou givenyou i iyou
you I snarled back backI backI
I deserve to be kicked kickedIf kickedIf kickedIf
If ever a man did youre he But I Ithought Ithought Ithought
thought you ou were In love with the girl all allalonjr allalong allalong
along or you OU should have stayed In your yourpalmetto yourNllmetto yourPalmetto
palmetto shack What did you bring her herup herup herup
up fo Why did you OU do hard labor in tha thaCape thaCape theCape
Cape to pay pn those school hool fees feesBecause feesBecauso feesBecauso
Becauso that was the only ono dogged doggedthing doggedthing doggedthing
thing I had In my nature I swore to tomyself totTgelf tomyself
myself tTgelf Id rear up that Kid decently and andat nnlat antiat
at other times I swore oTher things but butthat butthat butthat
that was the only onl one I ever at all stuck stuckto stuckto stuckto
to But I didnt do It because I loved her hernot he henot hernot
not then that is IsIerI I er I suppose I do dolove dolove dolove
love her now Since Ive come back that thatis thatIs thatis
is and shes grown up Yes old man of ofcourse orcourse ofcourse
course I am honestly honestl and really in Jove Jovewith lovewith Jovewith
with her now nowI nowI nowI
I considered consld red he was lying but didnt say sayso sayso sayso
so preserved Instead the silence of o the thecondemned thecondemned thecondemned
condemned condemnedYou condemnedYou condemnedYou
You neednt glare at me in that way wayMac wayInc wayMac
Mac Inc In fact fa t confound me I should like liketo llketo liketo
to know what the devil you ou mean by it itYou itYou it itYou
You seem In an infernal sulky sulk temper this thismorning thlllmorning thiemorning
morning Ill leave leav you ou Im going goin to tolook toleok toIcok
look up the Kid KidIf KillIf KidIf
If youve anything of the geutleman geutlemanleft gauitlemanleft < I t1eman t1emanleft
left in you youll propose to her I Isnapped 1slJapped Isnapped
snapped out outYou outyou outYou
You mind your own Infernal business businessretorted businessretorted businessretorted
retorted young FaIrbaIrn and slammed slammedthe slammedthe slammedthe
the door behind him himI
I paced up and ln down the room and re relieved relIeve rehieved ¬
lieved lIeve my feelings by addressing profan profanfty profanft profanty
fty ty to the chandelier This employment employmentsoothes employmentscothes employmentscothes
scothes rne ne under such circumstances circumstancesYoung circumstancesYoung circumstancesYoung
Young Fairbairn Falrt > aIrn did not turn up to a adinner adinner adinner
dinner appointment that night much to tothe tothe tothe
the annoyance of a certain hostess with withdaughters withdaughters withdaughters
daughters but I saw him next day at t a aprivate cpr1ate aprivate
private view and the Kid was hanging hangingclose hangingclose hangingclose
close on his elbow She was beaming beamingShe beamingShe beamingShe
She was looking so absurdly happy happ that thatpeople tbatpeople thatpeople
people stared a little and then smiled smiledThe smiledlhe smiledThe
The rooms were crammed and it was wasseme was wasscme wadsonic
sonic time before we came together But Butshe Butshe Butshe
she caught my eye early on and tele telegraphed telegraphed telegraphed ¬
graphed to me a long lon bulletin in two twooeillades twoocHlades twoocillades
oeillades and a lift of the eyebrows You Yousee YouStc Yousee
see I have come to understand the Kids Kidsmethods KidSmethods Kidsmethods
methods rather well It is that way wa with witha
a woman you ou are fond of But at last lastthe lastthe lastthe
the crowd surged and I got across acrossMac acrossIac acrossMac
Mac Iac she said when I shook hands handswith handswith handswith
with her what have you ou been doing to tothe tothe tothe
the Youngun He says SAS he wont have you youfor youfor youfor
for his best man and I cant get out of ofhim ofhim ofhim
him why wh Now sit down here with ma maand maand maand
and tell the reason at once onceTHE onceTUE oncelila
THE END EXDAMONG EnAMONG ENDAMONG
AMONG AFRICAN CANNIBALS CANNIBALSTravcllug CMINIBALSTraeliu CANNIBALSTraveling
Traveling Traeliu by Canoe Anionc IIIOD the Savages of oftbe ofthe orthe
the Cano Free Stale StaleFom SlateFrom itateProm
From Alnslees Magazine MagazineAt YarazllllAt MagazineAt
At last we W reached tho River Hurl and andfollowing andfollowing andfollowing
following along the banks until it was wasnavigable wasnavigable wasnavigable
navigable we came to the great Bangwa Bangwadistrict BangwiLdlC Bangwadistrict
district dlC = trlct pf the Aruwimi Here were fresh freshsights freshsights freshsights
sights and more moreexcItement excitement Having pro procured procured procured
cured canoes I sent my porters back re retaining retalnlng retaming ¬
taming only my three faithful faithCulboYI boys Our Ourbcatmen Ourbcatmen Ourbratmen
bcatmen were the notorious cannibals of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the Aruwimi ruwlml very different from the thePygmies thePygmies thePygmies
Pygmies these were fine stalwart men menmany menman inertmany
many man of them considerably over six feet feetcarrying feetcrXing feet feetcarrying
carrying themselves thems lves with the most aris aristocratic aristocratic ariatocratic ¬
tocratic bearing Imaginable Ima fnablo As canoe canoemen ronoemen canoeamen
men they tbe could hardly ha rdl be excelled each eachtxat eachb eachbeat
beat b at contained from ten to fifteen men menwho menwho menwho
who with their thel long tapering paddles paddlesnade paddlesnade paddlesnade
nade the heavy dugout literally dance dancethrough dancthrough dancethrough
through the water It was a most de delightful de1I9htful dehihtful ¬
lightful sensation after the toilsome pain paincomfortably painOI painor
OI or walking through the thicket to be becomfortably becomfontabiy
comfortably reclining recllnln while whizzed whizzedalong whIzzednlong whizzedalong
along at about eight miles an hour for forthe CorI forthe
the current being strong In cur favor we weoften weofttn weoften
often made quite that speed One sat all allday alldR allday
I day dR and gazed along the banks of this thismarvelous thl thlmenelolls thisrnarseloims
marvelous river Sometimes elephants elephantsspgrtins elephantssprUn elephantsspurting
spurting themselves in the shallow water waternear waterI waternear
near the th bank would for a moment or ortwo ortwo ortwo
I
two be visible forest fo t anteiope too were wereoften wer weroftn wereoften
often seen having their evening eve ing drink drinkwhile drinkwhile drinkwhIle
while all the while the monkeys monke s chattered chatteredIn
In the trees t and screamed at us as we wepassed Wep wepassed
passed p td ThefvIHages TIle tvl1 ges of o the th Banswa were weremcst
I mcst curious the houses consisting of oftall ortall oftall
tall coneshaped cone baped structures attaining a aI aheight
height of from fifteen to twenty feet As AsI Aswe Aswe
I I we approached the drums announced us usand usand usand
and crowds of oruaHves natives naked cannibals cannibalscame cannlbalcame cannibalscame
came to the river rhe bank to watch us Ev Evtry Evry Evcry
try ry warrior w r1or carried his knife and spear spearbath spMrb spearbmrh
bath b < uh most m st dwdlylooking weapons eaponll and andwhen um umwbt antiwhen
j when wbt > n I landed they always surrounded surroundedme
me walked Iked round and round looking me meup meup meup
up and down no doubt counting up the thepossibilities thepQiSibillUes thepossibilities
possibilities of a good meal Their lan language lanae Ianguage ¬
guage ae was strange to me or I might ml ht haw hawhiard Mehtoard havehoard
hoard some extraordinary remarks re rks as It Itwas Itwas itwas
was their hungry hung looks were quite quiteenough quiteI quiteenough
enough t to make me fee feel ee a little uncom uncomfortable uncomfonable uncomenable ¬
I enable at t times I wa was U gentrally able to toBd toftrd tofir4
ftrd Bd an iRtomretor wOe would Inquire of ofthe 0 0the ofthe
the people for me for a suitable ilulu ble piace to toI t
I pitch my tnt and ad this was always alw ys most mostcourteously m05tcGurteously mostreurteously
courteously given by the chief himself himselfgtnernU himselfI
i I generally gtnernU in th the m mfd mIddle < Mle k ef the village vnta villageumetlmem 1 1lneUmM
i Sometimes lneUmM they would bring me quanti quantities quantit1 ¬
ties t1 of food sweet potatoes potat 5 banana bananajams haMnajjam bananasjests
jams jam c C and aDd in exchange I gave them themmle themI themimtle
mle I t tIe trinket such as heeds whistles whistlesknives whistlesknics whistlesknives
knives C PUt Fifteen a days pddle on the theriver theriver
river 11 brought bro ht us to o Basoko the bo chief sta station stalIOn stalien ¬
lIOn of the Belgians en the Congo From Fromh Fromhence
h hence nce nceth the steam steamers re run to the eoost and andi anttItfter antinfter
i after waiting a few ic days we arrived and andI
I procured a passage pesaaseliefleetlon passageReflectIon 5e 5elte
ReflectIon lte tetlou of a Bachelor DacheloJFtm BachelorPrem BachelorFrws
Frws Prem the ittw w POrk POrkEvery erk Preu PreuEvery PreuEvery
Every man wants lts to fall In love Some Somewant Bomfwant Somewant
want to get married but theyre excep exceptions exceptions excepthins ¬
tions tionsIf tionsIf thinsIf
If the men m n kissed 1i eed all around the way waywomen waywomen waywomen
women do half thft th time they would bite biteeach bItetth biteI
I each ether etheri oh oht
i I When yon talk to t some women men you you feel feellike feoiI
t I I like you would have to claw off the out ontaide outJlioe outside
aide to MO 0 what they really roo11aro recilysaruMen mra mraMen
Men ten talk about the cold tub they the take lakevtry takelVr takeevery
I lVr every vtry morning th the < same way girls talk talkibout talktout tailsbout
ibout tout their dressing dr sslng rooms ro ua
BRAVERY OFTHE OF THE BOERS BOERSIts
Its Source in Heredity and in inTheir inTheir iiiTheir
Their Religion EelutioiiMINISTERS ReligionMINISTERS ReligionMINISTEPLS
MINISTERS POWER PARAMOUNT PARAMOUNTTheir PARAYOU T TThclr
Their Iefls Ir Icliutenee t nce e Exercised Alike lIke Upon Gov Government Government 0evermimuiemit ¬
ernment and People leopleWlli Will Be Found in inthe Intbe 1mmthe
the Front of of Battle Aeainst galnst the British BritishAfrikanders1 Dritlil1Afrikauders BritIshMrikammders
Afrikanders1 Implicit IJcHcfin the Words Wordsof Wordsof ordl ordlof
of the Bible iblcOpPO1ed Opposed to Evcrjtbinc that tuatSavors tbatavon thatsavors
Savors avon of Modernism and Innovation InnovationEver IonoTat InnovationEver oo ooEver
Ever since the defiance of the British Britishempire Britishempire Britishempire
empire by the little republic of the Trans Transvaal Transoal Tranaveal ¬
veal oal the whole world Has been both won wondering wondering wondoming ¬
dering and trembling at the audacity of ofthe otthe ofthe
the Boers Stubborn pigheaded pigheadedand igheadedAnd
and countless count1 8s oth other lhtr r adjectives odjeclh indicative indicativeof lt1dlcntlvof
of unintelligent obstinacy have been beenshowered beenshowered beenshowered
showered on the burghers while at the thesamo thcsrmG thesame
same tlmo their bold stand tand baa be been n the thasubject thosubject thesubject
subject of editorial laudation wherever wherevernewspapers whereernewspapers wherevernewspapers
newspapers have been printedexcept of ofcourse ofc ofcourse
course c urse In England and andnmoIg among the Eng English En Enghish ¬
lish possessions possessionsMen possessionsion possessiortsMon I
Men ion of more or less historical knowl knowledge knoVoledge knowledge ¬
edge have gone back hundreds of years yearato yearsto eare eareto
to the beginning of the Christian era era to tothe tothe tothe
the time of Hermann to the reign of ofAugustus ofAugustus
Augustus when he died weeping f for r the thelost tl1elost thelost I
lost legions of Varus to those halfmyth halfmythical haltmythIc imaifmytaicrl ¬
ical Ic l days when the hardy races dwelt dweltamid dweltamid dweltamid
amid the marshes formed by the delta deltaof deltaot deltaof
of the Rhine thence down through pro progressive progressive progressive ¬
gressive ages to when the Netherlands Netherlandsrcse Netherland9rCl5e Netherlandsreec
rcse up and fought the Spaniards all this thisIn thIsIn thisin
In an endeavor to trace the ancestry of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the Boer and to find in it the primal cause causefor causetor causefor
for resistance to British aggression aggressionNone aggressionNone aggressionNone
None can deny that this question of ofheredity ofhere ofheredity
heredity here lt has a great den of bearing on onthe onlhe onthe
the case But there is another element elementthat elementthat elementthat
that sustains the Afrikander fn hla strug struggle struggle strugshe ¬
gle one of the mightiest that could be bebrought bebrought bebrought
brought to bear on his nature It Is Isthe Isthe isthe
the influence of his religion and in the thesamo theamo thesame
same category with it the Influence of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the men who preach It ItPower It11oTer itPower
Power of the Clergy ClerurThe Cler ClerThe ClergyThe
The power of the ministers of the theTransvaal tbeTransyaal theTransyaal
Transvaal Transyaal Is without a parallel In our ourmodern ourmodern ourmodern
modern civilization Even the hold which whichthe whichthe whichthe
the Catholic priest has upon his parish parishloners parl parktimloners h hloners
loners becomes puny when compared with withthe withthe withthe
the grasp of the Boer preacher on the themembers themembers themembers
members of his congregation Its analogy analogydoes analogydoes analogydoes
does not exist in this day da and age Ono Onowould Onowould Onewould
would have to go back to the time of ofMoses of1Iose9 ofMoses
Moses and the prophets when the Israel Israelites JdraelItes Ieraellies ¬
ites looked upon them as the chosen ones onesof onesoC onesof
of God The preachers are the advisers advisersof
of the government They are looked upon uponas uponas uponas
as part of the body politic and as the themost themost timemost
most valued public servants Their teach teachingd teachIng teachInge
ingd Ing are accepted without doubting and andwithout andwithout andwithout
without questioning and their instruc instruction In instruction truc tructlon ¬
tion includes subjects considered beyond beyondthe beyondthe beyondthe
the domain of the pulpit in this country countryTho countXThe countryThe
The origin of this is not hard to trace traceThe traceThe traceThe
The Boers are descendants of the Hol Hollanders Hollanders Hollanders ¬
landers who have been Inured to struggle strugglethrough strugslethrough strugglethrough
through long centuries of fighting against againstboth againstboth againstboth
both man and nature The sea had to tosubmit tosubmit tosubmit
submit to them and they wrested from fromthe fromthe fromthe
the grasp of the ocean many a field whose whosewavy whosewavy whosewary
wavy pastures are now emerald green greenMasterful greenllasterful greenMasterful
Masterful unflinching perseverance was a acharacteristic acharacteristic acharacteristic
characteristic of the nation and all this thisconflict thI thIconflict thisconflict
conflict and strife in behalf of their homes homesfostered homesCostered homesfostered
fostered an intense and absorbing absorbln patriot patriotIsm patriotIsm patriotlam
Ism that was destined in after days to tobear tobcar tobear
bear fruit In many a remarkable manner mannerIn mannerIn mannerIn
In their war with Spain their Indomit Indomitable Indomitable imulontitable ¬
able yearning for freedom enabled them themto themto themto
to hold their own nt a period in the his history history ¬
tory of Europe when hen success meant me nt the thetriumph thetrIumph thetriumph
triumph of liberty IIbert and defeat meant the thesetting thefttlng thesetting
setting back of the sun dial that marks marksthe marksthe marksthe
the progress of mankind mankindImplicit mankindImplicit mankindIniplicit
Implicit Faith in the Bible BiblCiIn ibleIn BibleIn
In his fatherland the Boer had suffered sufferedmuch sufferedmuch sufferedmuch
much for his Bible and when the Fore Foretrekkers Foretrekkers Foretrekkers
trekkers went to Africa they did not notsuffer notsuffer notsuffer
suffer their Interest to wane It speaks vol volumes volumes voitimes ¬
umes for the Boers that scattered as they theyare theyare theyare
are over immense territory they the con continue continue continue ¬
tinue to hold their religious exercises The TheBoer TheBoer TheBeer
Boer considers it childs play to travel travelforty travelforty travelforty
forty miles In order to go to church Whenhe Whenhe When Whenhe
he arrives he does not go to sleep Thesermon The Thesermcn Thesermon
sermon no matter how long lon never tires tireshim tireshIm tireshim
him There Is nothing savoring of high higher higher highor ¬
er criticism In the discourse from the pul pulpit pulpit pulpit ¬
pit liThe gospel Is preached without any anyattempt anyattempt anyattempt
attempt to discredit Its teachings No Noattempt Noattempt Noattempt
attempt is made at scholarly Interpreta Interpretation Interpretatlo1 interpretatiorm ¬
tion The congregation Is told that the thewords thewords thewords
words mean exactly exnctl what they say sayThe sayThe sayThe
The Reformed Church or some branch branchof branchof branchof
of It Is the most predominant among the theinhabitants theInhabitants theinhabitants
inhabitants of the Transvaal When the theassembly theassembly theassembly
assembly of the church meets the Boers Boerscome Boerscome Boerscome
come to attend the sessions These who whohave whohave whohave
have been present say sa that It Is marvelous marvelousto
to see the simpleminded Afrikanders Afrikandersdrink Afrikandersdrink Afrikandersdrink
drink In every word that Is uttered at attheso atthese atthese
these gatherings It Is the event of the theyear theyear theyear
year with them They Thc have no frivolous frivolousamusements frivolousamusements frivolousamusements
amusements They take life too seriously seriouslyI sertousl sertouslto
to spend the least portion of it in pleas pleaaureseeklng pleaoureseeking pleasureseeking
ureseeking Their one occupation Is la labor labor Iabor ¬
bor and hard h rd labor at that It Is a relax relaxation relaxaUon relaxation ¬
ation for them to go to church and hear hearthe hearthe hearthe
the men whom they look upon as inspired inspiredpreach InspiredI inspiredpreach
I preach from the word of God GodCare GodI GodCare
I Care Nothing Nothiu othin for Jloner JlonerScripture 1omieyScripture ouey oueyScrIpture
Scripture Is quoted for every act of their theirdally theIrI theirdaily
I daily life They have been told that the thelove thelove thelove
love of money mone Is the root of all evil and andthey andthey andthey
they care less for it than almost any pea people peapIe peepie ¬
pIe on the face of the earth When Whenthey Whenthey Whenthey
they are told by the restless Eng Englishmen EoglI Englishmen ¬
lishmen lI hmen and the still more restless restlessAmerican restles3American restlessAmerican
American that they should endeavor endeavorto
to develop their country countr they sim simply simply aimply ¬
ply shake their hard heads and say sayYou fayYou sayYou
You go your way W8 let us go O ours They Theyprefer Theyprefer Theyprefer
prefer the pastoral life because they read readthat readthat readthat
that Abraham tended flocks They The put putupon putupon
upon their coins the Impression of an ox orwagon oxwagon oxwagon
wagon thus telling all that they tbe prefer preferit
it to the railway or any more modem modernmeans modemmeans modemmeans
means of transportation transportationOom transportationOom ttanspontattonOom
Oom Paul himself hlm elf Is a preacher and andthe andthe andthe
the leading men of the republic have at atsome atome atsome
some time or other occupied the pulpit pulpitPresident pulpitPreldent pulpitPresident
President Kruger is not merely a figure figurehead flgUrehead figurehead ¬
head In this sense He holds himself as asthe asthe asthe
the head of his church and he delivers delivershis delfvershis delivershis
his sermons with the regularity r rularft of the or ordinary ordinary ordinary ¬
dinary minister His congregation ccrl rgatloft = regards regardshim regardshIm regardshint
him with even more moreveneaUol veneration if that tfcatbe thatbe thatbe
be possible than he is held by the other othercitizens othercltbens othercitkens
citizens of the little republic republicWashington republIcWashington republicWashington
Washington had an opportunity to see seetwo seetwo seetwo
two of the Eo Boar r preachers at the session sessionof sessionoC sessionof
of the PanPresbyterian Council In the thecity thecity thecity
city a short time ago a They were Rev RerH ReyH RevH
H S Boimon oman of Pretoria and Rev J G GP CP 0P
P Melting of Johannesburg Johanne iHJr The for former former formen ¬
mer addressed addr several congregations whH whHhere whlie hlle
here and an the latter as will te remem ¬
bered created r ted quite ute a furore by threaten ¬
lag to retiian on account of the actlen of ofthe o othe ofthe
the council In deMdlne to lay 4 nothing of ofarbitration ofarbitration ofarhitratlozs
arbitration in connection with the Trans Tranavaal TralWaal Transvaal
vaal aal
Needed nt Home iloi in the Crii CriiBoth CrliBoth Crisis CrisisBoth
Both were hurried home b cablegram cablegrambefore cabregramabefor cabiegramsbefore
before befor tbe end of the session es lon and Rev Dr Drileiring DrletrinS DrMeiring
ileiring was Intraated Intr > ted with some Impor Important ImJOrtant izuportant ¬
tant burneas s for the government while Ia Iathis 1Athis iiithis
this eovjitry Both men on account of oftholr oftholr ofthoir
tholr ianueaee Ia1YeA with their chnrehea were wereconridered wereconsidered sre sreconmder34
considered neceaeary neCM ary to their country In Inthe Inthe
the oncoming oncomln crisis crisisDr crisisDr crisisDr
Dr Bosman while here told a Post re reporter reporter reporter ¬
porter that If matters came to t a crisis crfaiswith cri crisiswith ls lsvltla
with England the preachers would be
found with the men me You will w i find us usgoing usgolns usgoIng
going to to battle with prayers on our 1I Ups Upsand lipsand 3 3and
and Bibles in our haversacks he said
I would not think of remaining reml nlnf In this thiscountry tbt tbtcoun tiflscountrr
country coun 1 with matter in sach a critical criticalcondition o11t1 oditealcondition 1 1condition
condition Cromwells Ironsides IroalcI won their
battles by their psalm singing as mush mueha muhas mushCa
a as they did with their guns gun and If ta taconflict tH tHcon11fct theconflict
conflict comes we shall 11311 go Into im It with the tlmconviction lhcsconvlcrton theconviction
conviction that we are In the right and
we shall not flinch flinchWo mnchWe flinchWe
We have told our people from mom the pul pulplt pulpit ptllpit
pit what their rights riCh are and they be ¬
lieve that vre are teJHng tanl them the truth
Our Boers may mo be Ignorant In a mwu mwuare mwuure mesaure
are ure for a Urge number of them cannot cannotroad canlWi canlWiroad cannotroad
road But they are honest In malntelnlnff maJntl1nJ e
the principles a ur laM down by those who whoarc whoare h
are bettor informed The conventions tf tf1SS1 c ci1Il f fl3S1
I 1SS1 and ISSi have been explained to ihw them
and It Chamberlain brines all the soldiers eoldletsof Eold1Cof soldiersof
of the British empire f m tre tQ crush cru b us we wewould we wewoull1 wewould
would still Insist that we were In the tharight therht theright
right rightSuch rhtSuch rightSuch
Such Is the position of one of tho lead leaders leaders loadera ¬
ers in the Boer government There Is Issomething Issomething Issomething
something rulhetlc In the cry of the Afri Afrikander Atrlkander Afriheader ¬
kander Irave Te us u alone and take your yournew yyurne yournew
new ne scnemea fcbemoo and changes < hln e elsewhere elseWhecr Is latheir Istheir istheir
their petition etlUon But it nan come too late InteThe ItcThe lateThe
The dosing days of the nineteenth nln t < nth tentuX ten century contur ¬
tuX tur are upon them and no land or pee people pepIe peeplc ¬
pIe can escape pe their Influence The cy cyclone C Cclone cyclone ¬
clone has come to to them and it J it will whirl whirlthem whirlthem whirlthem
them as it likes Leisure ease and quiet quietude QUHttIde quietode ¬
ode are gore oll and the post is ended The Theonward lheonward Theoaward
onward march of the new age Ilg with its itslust itIJlust itslust
lust for gold is resistless r Iat1s and nnd It cannot cannotdiscomforts cannotbe cannotbe
be kept back b by protests and opposition opposlionbased oppositionbased
based on racial dislikes or sentimental sentimentaldlcomrorts sentimentaldlseomforts
discomforts especially when they the come comefrom comefront J
from a weak people peopleChance peopleCbnnt peopleCimamige
Chance e in Hospital Methods MethodsFrom JletbodsFnt1 MelhoulsFrcmn
From the th MtJtal J Jeumal JeumalA JsinneiA wnl wnlA
A revolution In the management mann ement ot boa hospitals ho hopltals boapitimla ¬
pitals and medical colleges Is quietly tak taking takIng taklag ¬
ing place that Is of profound and far farreaching tarreaching farreaching
reaching Importance Lay governors covcr ors and andlay andlay antilay
lay boards of trustees are becoming the thedepositaries thedepositaries thedepositaries
depositaries of power In all things not notpertaining nOlpertaining miompertaining
pertaining to the cure and prevention of ofdisease ordisease ofdisease
disease As ts s to the reasons for it these thesemay thesemay
may 108 differ In each cue but as to the theresult theretult theresult
result on the whole It way 1la be aftld that thatwhere thatwhere thatwhere
where it has been tried the lay lb govern government Joernmnt govirdment ¬
ment of these institution InsUtuU M Juts nas ns proved provedbetter protdbetter provedbetter
better than was tha that of the profession professionThe professionThe prolessionThe
The work of o medical men is with die disease dtsease dieease ¬
ease and therapeutics that of business businessand busintsand businesmiand
and nonmedical men ia with finance ftnanceanll ftnanceanllEoclal and andsocial antisocial
social life In some hospitals and col colleges cotleges colleges ¬
leges it has been found best that evtn evtnthe evt evunthe n ntbe
the choice and appointment of o medical medicalmen medicalmen medicaimen
men themselves th m8 lves to positions is best left leftto teItto leftto
to the lay boards The change Is of in incfitlmabe Intlmab Incetimabe
cfitlmabe tlmab e benefit to the profession and to tothe tothe tothe
the public we are relieved from onerous onerouswork onerOJSwork onerouswork
work for which we have hav no training and andare nndare andare
are permitted to expend txp nd our whole ener energies cnergle9 engrglen ¬
glen on I teaching and prophylaxis and ther therapeutic therapeutlc thorapeutic ¬
apeutic the public wins wln thereby thereb and by bythe bythe bythe
the work otlc of laymen In pew fields It is isan I Ian isan
an illcstratlon of the beneficence of the thelaw thelaw thelaw
law or ot differentiation of function In civ civilization civilization civihization ¬
ilization
TRIALS OF CLERGYMEN CLERGYMENHave CLERGYMENHaTe CLERGYMENhave
Have Their Troubles When hen They Try Tr to toUlnrr toJnrr toMnrr
Ulnrr People IenyleFroa 1IeolleFron PeopleFrom
From the Philadelphia Times TimesClergymen TlmuClerrnmen TimesCiergmen
Clergymen have their own trials in the theline thelIne timeline
line of marriages Not long Ion ago a young youngcouple younfjcouple youngcouple
couple went to the residence of a promi prominent promInent prominent ¬
nent minister and were married The Theclergyman Thecergyman Theclergyman
clergyman cergyman had no certificate ready and andinformed an anIntormed andinformed
informed the newly married couple that thathe thathe thathe
he would send the certificate to them the thenext thenext thenext
next day The bridegroom however said saidhe saidbe saidhe
he and his wife would call for the certifi certificate certlllcate certiticate ¬
cate and they left without saying any anything anything anything ¬
thing about a marriage fee They return returned returned returnCl ¬
ed the next n t day dn received the certificate certificateexpressed certllicatee
expressed e pressed themselves as being pleased pleasedwith pleasellwith pleasedwith
with it and went on their way wa rejoicing rejoicingf rejoicingMill rejoicingnull
f Mill > till neglecting to mention the matter of ofthe otthe ofthe
the clergmans fee feeThe feeThe feeThe
The same clergyman married a couple couplesuveral coupleslIveral coupleseveral
several years ago and recently the wife wifecalled wifecalled vifocalled
called upon him She recalled the wed wedding wedding wedding ¬
ding to the ministers mind and then de declared tleclared tiedared ¬
clared she was heartily tired of her hus husband husband hueband ¬
band and wished to know If her marriage marriagecould marriagecould
could not be annulled by the minister ministerWhen ministerThen ministerWhen
When Then told that a clergyman could join joinman joinman
man and wife wlr together but could not put putthem putthem
them asunder the woman cried bitterly bitterlyHow bltterl bitterlyHow
How long have you ou been living apart apartfrom apartfrom apartfrom
from your husband the clergyman clergymanasked cl clergmanasked rgym n nM
asked askedI M d
I lived with him only about three threemonths threemonths threemonths
months the weeping woman replied repliedWas repliedWas repliedWas
Was he unkind to you youNever youNever youNever
Never He did not drink and he pro provided provided provided ¬
vided for me handsomely handsomelyWell handsomelyWell handsomelyWell
Well said the minister much aston astonished astonIshcd astonished ¬
ished if tho man was kind to you pro provided provIded provided ¬
vided for your our comfort and did not drink drinkwhat drinkwhat drinkwhat
what fault had you ou to find findOh fIndOli
Oh said Snl the vife drying her tears
dont you yo remember how ho very plain he hewas hewas hewas
was He is actually so plain looking that thatI
I filially got ashamed to be seen with him himand himRnd himand
and of course I cant even think thlnko of living livingwith lIlngwith lIvingwith
with him himAll himAU himAll
All good counsels on the part of the theclergyman theclergyman theclergyman
clergyman were unavailing and the theyoung theyoung theyoung
young wife departed vowing vowlngto to secure a aseparation aseparctIon aseparation
separation from her husband because na nature nature naturn ¬
ture had not endowed him with a face facethat Cacet facethat
that t at was fair to look upon uponAnother uponAnother uponAnother
Another wellknown clergyman some somecars someyears
years cars ago married a young man and andwoman an anwoman anfiwoman
woman and at the conclusion of the cer ceremcny ceremcuy ceremcziy
emcny the youthful outhtul bridegroom handed handedthe handedthe handedthe
the minister a new t 2 bill Talnt a avery avery avery
very big fee doctor said he grinning
but Ill do better the next time timeA timeA timeA
A former Fifth avenue clergyman in inNew InNew InNew
New York tells of a couple who were mar married marrIed marned ¬
ried by him a long time ago At the con conelusion conclusion conelusion
elusion of the ceremony the bridegroom bridegroomhanded brtdcgroombanded bridegroomhanded
handed a bill to the minister who with without wilhout without ¬
out glancing at it put it Into his pocket pocketUpon pOcketUpon pocketUpon
Upon his arrival home hom he found that the thebill thebill thebill
bill was 20 He gave It to his wife I > and andof an anor andof
of course the money was judiciously ex expended expended cxpended ¬
pended for the good of the household householdSome householdSome householdSome
Some months afterward a man called calledupon calledupon calledupon
upon the th minister explained that he had hadbeen hndbeen hadbeen
been married by him and asked if the theminister theCee thefee
fee tendered had not been a 20 bill The Theminister Timeminister
minister did not at first recognize the theman theman theman
man but on his mentioning the 20 bill billrecalled billrecalled billrecalled
recalled the circumstances and said so soWell soWell soWell
Well replied the man that explains explainswhere explalnwhere explainswhere
where that 18 went to I had a 10 20 bill billand billand billand
and a t 2 i bill Of course I meant ta give givethe givethe givethe
the 2 bill to you and gave you the 120 120bill 2O 2Obill
bill by mistake mistakeThe mistakeThe
The minister was somewhat taken takenaback takenaback
aback but he returned the bridegroom
18 at once and tried to dismiss the mat matter mattsr ¬
ter from his mind A few days later the theman theman
man returned returnedIve returnedIve
Ive been thinking over matters he hesaid hesaid
said and I think you ought to pay payme paymeinterest me meInterest
Interest on that 13 Its only a a few cents centsof centsof
of course courseS but youve had the use of the themoney themoney
money several months and you ought to topay topay
pay the Interest InterestThe interestThe
The audacity and Impudence of the man manso manso
so amazed te clergyman that he at once oncewrote oncewrote
wrote out a check for the Interest de demanded do domanded ¬
manded The canceled check was secured securedat
at the bank by the clergyman and fram framed framed ¬
ed Until he removed from New York the thecheck thecheck
check hung on his library wall a relic of ofa ofa
a moat amusing experience experienceAnother experienceAnother
Another New York clergyman was call called called ¬
ed one morning to marry a nicelooking nicelookingyoung nicelookIngyoung
young couple The man evidently a clerk clerktold clerktold
told the clergyman that he wanted to be beput beput
put into double harness The clergy clergyman cleryman ¬
man soon found out what the expression expressiondouble expressiondouble
double harness meant and agreed to tomarry ivmarry
marry them at once onceWalt onceWalt
Walt a moment said the prospective prospectivebridegroom prospectivebridegroom
bridegroom I have been under a good gooddeal gooddeal
deal of expense lately and I would like likeyou likeyou
you to taca my note for three months monthsfor monthsfor
for the marriage fee Will you do that thatThe thatThe
The minister consented and after the thewedding thewedding
wedding the bridegroom gave him a prom promise promise ¬
ise to pay J5 at the end of three months monthsIn monthsIn
I In some way the story leaked out and the thebridegroom thebridegrooms
bridegroom employer who was well wellknown wellknown
known to the clergyman was guyed guyedunmerrifuly guyedunmeredfuiy
unmerrifuly What sort of a man was washe washe
he his friends laughingly Inquired who whocould whocould
could not pay his help money enough to toenable toenable
enable them to pay a small wedding fee
Baled Money 3IoncrfUtert MoneyRekent
fUtert B Derdette ri Ue la lot oa hague s Times TimesBut TinesBut
But sneaking of cotton cottonstrange strange how howthe howthe
the subject sticks to one oneI I once asked a asmall asmall
small farmer In Georgia Why do yon yonraise youraise
raise cotton year alter year It seems to tome tome
me Its the hardest thing In the world worldto worldto
to raise It requires more car care than any anything anything ¬
thing I know of has to be plowed oftener oftenerand oftenerand
and looked after more carefully why whydont whydont
dont you ratee maiaesomething something to eatr eat And Andthe Andthe
the man with the twoamle farm laughed laughedand laughedand
and said Id know you was from the theNorth theNorth
North just fry 1 that fool speech Because BecauseI
I owe for my land I hare to have money moneyevery moneyevery
every year to run this farm I can her borrow herrow ¬
row money on my next crop of cotton cottonAnd cottonAnd
And the roan nan who lends roe the money moneycan moneycan
can keep lila eye on my crop front the thetint thetime
tint time the need to la the ground till it Is Isloaded islosdeil
loaded on ot < cars Ills secorlty secnr1t Is all allrl allright
rl right ht EM if I so to Mm In ta the sprintf sprintfand sprimand
and tell him I aint going to raise any anycotton anycotton
cotton but only corn and garden truck truckhe truckhe
he cant keep track of no sack perish pertahaMe perishaWe
aWe security a tis that Ha woat lend me mea maca
a cent So If I want any money rte rtegot negot
got to raise cotton And I made what whathaMe whathaste
haste I could to swim ashore It J is so soeasy soeasy
easy son for us to tell people 20W smiles mftesaway smilesaway
away j just t what they ouat to do So Sojnaefc Someek
meek easier tMer then It hi to go there mod moddo anddo
do It Thats ont reason why so many manymen
I men who think that the bultat ROO goes in inat ina
at a the muzzle of the gun and that the thopowder thepowder
powder IA put In first when you lead ad It Itare itarc
are trying to manage the Philippine war warto warIn
to Boston Mass MassJohn MassJabi
John Went ta Lodge LodeeFTMB LodgePres
FTMB tie IhttfMr Ats American AmericanThe rkaa rkaaThe
The circumstance attendant upon men mengoing mengoing
going to lodge have changed John JohcMrrupg JohnMrrugg
Mrrupg of Jersey City took his five chil children chhltiren ¬
dren by their hands and led them to a awomans awomans
womans lodge room to get mamma to toeeme toecmne
eeme home It j Jt protnblo that after John Johnad
51 ad hl bite wife vlf < r got horn hmo he wished he ha had hadleft < r rft
left > ft her to the delights of f grand halting haltingtiffiw haltingsigns
signs and passwords anti got along with withthe withke
the ke chlWren the bent way he could It I Ilometimea Is Istemetimea
lometimea e eaaley l r to jte aetty < fy ftye ctilfdren ctilfdrenthan chtfdresthan
than one woman
LIGHT FOR BALD HEADS HEADSViolet HEA HEATjolet
Violet Bays Will Now Grow GrowaFnllSnitof Growa
aFnllSnitof a Full Suit of flair flairAN ilnirAN
AN INTERESTING NEW cEwrfficovEwy cEwrfficovEwyPatent 0ISCOVERY 0ISCOVERYPatent
Patent Medicine Men with a Corner en Hair HairOil haIrOiiAreyowApt
OiiAreyowApt Oil Arc Now Apt to flu Ho Driven Out ofllio oflliollnslness ofihoBusinessA
llnslness BusinessA A KB 1111 11 head Darren as tlic tlicDesert noleuet
Desert of nlmrn Mar Sow He Ru Trait Tranfarmed Traitfummned
farmed Into nn nmiOasis Oaiis of ilnlrHxpcrl oilaIr1txperimeats ilnlrHxpcrlments
meats Made Upon Does and Cats CatsThat CatsThat
That light rays ra may be used to kill die dteease dieease
ease bacteria and In this way cure bufcl bufclrie lxtInOes
rie nOes s and various teiiosisk1iiIrguj skin troubles Uk ILIt new
discovery attributed to Dr FtaSin of ofCopenhagen ofCopenhagen
Copenhagen lie has already made some somohundreds somehundreds
hundreds of eur OtitOs that are de deacribod Uied In Inthis inthis
this months British Medical JoornaUas JoornaUasquite Joireoiu as asquite
quite marvelous and some of the details detailsof detailsof
of his experiments are as a interesting as asthey asthey
they are novel Certain species of hOC bacteria hOCterm ¬
teria term are already recognized as the cuss caeseof cussof
of some zom forma or baldnessparUcularly baldnessparUcularlythe
the kind that comes in patches patchesand and these theseare thoseare
are killed with promptness and certainty
by the method referred to the hair im immediately Imnrtiediatoiy ¬
mediately starting to grow again againIf T
If you take a glass prism and with the
help of an everyday sunbeam threw threwa
a miniature rainbow upon the wall of a aroom i iroom
room you will observe that red fi f at one oneend mid midend
end of the ribbon of colors thus formed formedand formedand
and violet at the other end Now down downtoward downtoward
toward the red are the heal rays while whilethe whilethe
the chemical rays such as those whiqh whiqhaffect whiqhatfcct
affect photographic plates are IB the vio violet violet ¬
let and Its neighborhood These chemical chemicalrays chemicalrays
rays of the violet and blue are the ones onesthat onesthat
that kill bacteria and la the Instruments Instrumentsdevised lmistrtimentsdevised
devised by Dr Finsen for this purpose purposethey purposethey
they are separated out and fired at the thodisease thedisease
disease germs in the akin He CHlls them thembactericidal thembactericidal
bactericidal rays and In applying thorn thornto thornto
to a patient he concentrates ciic ittrates thorn tb nib nibmeans T > > v vmeans
means presently to be described describedDr describedDr
Dr Plnsens first experiments were weremade weremade
made with the tb socalled bacillus prodlglo prodlglosua
sua which is u a remarkably Interesting
kind of germ germDr germDr
Dr Finsen took some of these bacilli bacillithat bcilllthat
that were growing In a sterilized prep preparation prepaat1dmt ¬
aration o ot Japanese fish glue arid spread spreadthe spre d dthe
the latter thinly between two sheets of ofglass oLglass
glass Thus ho made what is called a aplate aplate
plate culture and exposed It to the thodirect thedirect
direct rays of the sun suil In an hour and amidhalf a ahalf
half all of the germs Ccacli each one capable capableof
of producing a fullblown miracle wero werodead vorodead
dead but It was obvious that the action actionwas actionwas
was too slow and weak otherwise It Itmight Itmight
might be expected that some forms of ofbaldness ofbaldness
baldness and all bacterial skin troubles troubleswould troubleswoulti
would cure themselves in summjr aim simply aimply ¬
ply through exposure to sunshine It Ithaving Ithaving
having been Ascertained that the blue blueand blueand
and violet rays were the ones that did didthe didthe
the business the problem was merely to toseparate toseparate
separate those out of the sunbeam and andconcentrate anticoncentrate
concentrate them them upon limo bald or other otherwise otherwise ¬
wise diseased areas of the sufferers cuti cuticle cutiCIC ¬
cle Means were found for making this thischemical thisclmemical
chemical beam very powerful powerfulAnother powerfulAnother
Another fact ascertained had reference referenceto
to the power of these violet and blue rays raysto raysto
to penetrate the skin skina a must Important Importantpoint impQrtantpoint
point inasmuch as the diseasemsklnc diseasemsklncor
or baldnessproducing germs do not Ho Hoon lieon
on the surface but are burled at a great greater greaten ¬
er or lead depth In the cuticle T6 Tt get at atthem atthem
them and kill them the ray rays must pleroo pleroothe plereothe
the tissue This matter was satisfac satisfactorily satisfactonily ¬
torily determined by a series of experi experiments exporiments ¬
ments with dogs and cats beneath Whose Whoseskins Shmdseskins
skins were inserted s sealed aled Glass tubtjs tubtjsfilled tuboshued
j filled with muriate of silver Some of ofthe ofthe
the animals were then placed In darkness darknesswhile darlcmiesswhile
while others were exposed ta sunlight sunlighttho sunlightthe
the result being that when the tubes tubeswere tubeswere
were removed later the solution was wasfcund wasfcund
fcund to have turned black in the latter lattercases lattercases
cases and to have remained unaltered in inthe inthe
the former In a word it was proved provedthat provedthat
that the chemical rays made their way wayactually wayactually
actually through the hides of the beasts beastsaffecting boastsaffecting
affecting the silver salts BaltnIt saltsixienimeiilsstith
ixienimeiilsstith nit1ztm nit1ztmIt
It has been demonstrated demonstratedaiao also by Dr DrFinsen DrPhisen
Finsen that these rays penetrate much muchmore muchniore
more easily through bloodless tissues tissuesthan tissuestitan
than through those that have blood In Inthem Idthem
them and one way In which this was wasshown wasshown
shown was by placing a piece of aerial sensitized aerialtized ¬
tized paper behind a mans ear and pro projecting projecting ¬
jecting a beam ot blue and violet rays raysagainst raysagainst
against the lap of the organ from the theoutside theoutside
outside After five minutes the paper paperwas paperwas
was not affected but when the ear was waspressed waspressed
pressed between two glass platen so as asto asto
to drive all the blood out of ofht It the paper paperwas ptperwas
was affected in twenty second secondA secondsA
A few seconds of exposure to this thissifted this thissifted
sifted sunshine as It might bo termed termedsuffices termedsuffices
suffices to kill the hardiest disease gorms gormsIt gonnaIt
It Is not necessary to t Use Buns sods rnyfc rnyfchowever rztyithowever
however for Dr Finsen has found that thatelectric ttmtelectric
electric light is equally eftloient Indeed IndeedIt
It Is preferable to winter sunlight the thelatter thelatter
latter being hardly strong enough and andduring andduring
during that season or on om cloudy days it itIs itis
Is found desirable to employ arc lamps lampsor lampsor
or fifty to sixty empires Here n agahi agahihours ali alihours
hours of exposure would be bereqnired reqnlred but butfor hutfor
for the means taken to separate outtiid outtiidchemical put tho thochemical
chemical rays and concentrate thornThus thorn thornThus
Thus managed they destroy bacteria In Ina ina
a few seconds when the latter are spread gprofrlbetween spreadbetween
between sheets of glass in a plate cal culture caltore ¬
tore
LI Light ht llnnl Inst lie Cool CoolWlrile CoolWhile
While concentrating the rays It In Innecessary Isnecessary
necessary to cool th he light fn order to toavoid toavoid
avoid burning the patient to whom it Is IsnppHed is isapplied
applied This double object oiJectto to make the thebeam thebearmi
beam stronger and coolerIs attained attainedwhere attainedwhere
where suns rays are employed by pass passIng passIng
Ing them through a a hollow gM gloss lens ln lnfoot < i ifoot
foot in diameter filled with a bright blue Wuesolution bluecolution
solution of copper sulphate The HauW HauWshuts Irinklshuts
shuts oft the hot red and yellow rays raysand raysand
and lets the blue and violet go o throughy throughyAt thlrQughAt
At the same time the lead being conr conoz conozitt x xIn
In front these chemical rays are brought broughtto
to a focus When electricity Is utilized utilizeda
a a brass tube containing two lonse of ofquartz ofquartz
quartz crystal la made to serve It Between Betweenthe t ween weenthe
the lenses Is dtotllled water whish koopa koopaout keopsout
out moet of the h heat at rays while quartz quartzcrystaj qeartzctyritJ
crystaj Is njore upar permeable by the chem chemical ebomicai ¬
ical rays of light than g gnas s ia At tt ttsame ttws ttwssame
same time cold water I ix permit prmitted ted ia iaflow toSlow
flow wind x th the end of the Imtirttmtat Imtirttmtatwhich lsatzuwnmentwhich
which IB appik < l to the patents skin to tokep tokeep
keep It from being burced burcedSkin bugnidSkn
Skin treated hi this Ms way raddJUM awl awltwells andtwells
twells but any disease bacteria that may mayoccupy mayoccupy
occupy the tts tissue ie are sorely destroyed destroyedtb
tb result feeing a cure Up ta date Dr DrFin DrFineen
Fin Fineen n lana treated with success successof M eaaea eaaeaof
of that frightful complaint called MMM MMMwhlca ISWI ISWIwhich
which most commonly eomtaord attacking the flrjcu flrjculiterally ee eeliterally
literally devour the victiM Kxpftrf Kxpftrfmenu Xxprmeats
menu with eertain kJada of boJdoes a aalready as asalready
already stated have p predecd reduced reamrk reamrkable reautmrkable
able reafelt
Time Star of Hope Hopermt hoper
rmt r 0 th lSsw > Tart Im ImA PitsA
A wonderfully clever asxl l ietoeestjMg tor Ua pa paper paper ¬
per to the Star tar of H Hope < rpe the Sing Uiiw Slag tart tartnhcbtly fastnightly
nightly demoted to the tatftreata ef Uw Uwlarnate theinmates
inmates of the four State PHMHM Nearly Nearly4W Nosi4y4fO
4W rmir eenviet ta arc entitled te Ha 9 9ami pages pagesand
and each ia r regained etred to elsa ten bbs nanw nanwml nasseand
and ml give git his cell nowt number > er Stenwof eme of the thecleverer theeieYerr
cleverer ia maca a of the country are la inPing Mat MatKng
Ping and th their ir wriUnc eevcr the dooMfct dooMfctof doomtusof
of religion literature art science oem oommerce oemrierce
merce atfrfcoltwe e Tbe Tb drc drcwlaIss drcwlaIssof MtIe MtIeof
of the Star of flop Hope U iWi It haar ha no noadvert noadventisonsents
advert adventisonsents adventisonsentsOne i em nbi nbiOne
One of the able Atora ef the S Star < r of ofIJopff ofhope
hope If tints mourned In the kktoet kktoetm isseei isseeiThe <
m The SUnr hum Qt f Mope wiN l ieee c one et f th thmo the themost
most mo t valued jneraberc of it its editorial elect atertby electisv
by the release of 1U Auburn ukiurn editor hi hiearly hiearly
early November He ta going bom bomsi A Aroan Aman
roan an able as he may be found to ill illthe Mu Muthe
the vacant editorial chair b but t to search searchfor ssarehfor
for a better one would be useless To T a aman a amazi
man of IK talents nuallflatl by the raaay raaayftoeom manyueeshmw3t
ueeshmw3t ftoeom UahmeeU of which he te saa zeester zeesterwe tar tarWe
We fee Mf safe M is predicting a brlht aH ht fu future totore ¬
tore A As the Star of Hop Hope ia net the Unit UnitpubNoatien lintpubMoatien
pubNoatien who whose e ooHHtmo oens oensgraced have t n ngraced
graced by the finite of hIs venMttle pen penxt pastwe
we xt feel confident that It will not be the tholast thelast
last Oli men wa wish you yot welt welL5S
5S

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