THE WASHXtfGTCXN" TIMES, SUNDAY, APRIL 14, 1895
'the suwidav n
MES"g PAGE OF GOOD SELECTED STQtoKS.
: i ' i
J 2 171
Copyright, 195. by Bachuller, Johnson
fin roforrintr to
V . r,..
1 3 '
' pel -"2
my notes Tct the
that ou Wednes
day, the lSthof i
starch or Hint
Tear, I dMne to
St, Ann's Bay,
Jamaica, to meet
weakly buudle of
iry tntbi shadow
or the bank, I
the pier just as
fart to it. The
first figure to
v ui possaip 'imru
Judge of my as
I recognized in
hiifi my loug lost
Hoi mesIHe cock
ed his ej o at my
as usual answer
ed my thoughts
beforel had time
to have any
Baid he, "sorry
to stullify that
last story of
yours, my dear
follow, but the
"BBlmpbrJ-et Him Drop. best I could do
wia to ki-ep out of tiie way until the edition
was sold Mt No, 1 didn't accompany my
friend. Prof. Morianty, in his .grand aerial
flight; I simply let him drop as you
say in society and backed away in
my own tracks (which may account for
yoBr Iwrtwg cn no footsteps returning
in the opjiosttc direction.) "Well," he
continued, ruiiiiing his ejes over me, "since
you BKta to lwne dm en yourself down
in jour Ixjrgy, with the bay and the teal
brown hor, pel haps jou wouldn't mind
takiup me up in it It l.as a Lrcak in the
top fmte on the left imd side, but I don't
miiKl that As jou had Lrcakfastcd ou a I
goat stew juet Lefore Mailing, and ate
welt iu ipte of the fact that you had to
add a fend dial of fait to i(, I presume
you won't care to 6lop heie for lunch. I'm
glad to fte tliat jou have taken a proper
amount of exercif-e by chopping down that
pimento tree on Hie fclope of the hHl going
up to tiie summer houfee; one can't be
too careful of oue's health in the tropics.
On the way we can stop and post that
letter to Meters. Ogden, your London attor
ney's, which you forgot to mail as jou
"Mj dear Holmes," exclaimed I at
last, finding my voice, "this passes be
lief. How en earth "
"TttU. Simplicity itself. A. few horse
hairs on yoar coat, a couple of grains of
salt unde- your right thumb nail, the om
DiprtiMMee of the goat in Jamaica, the
blister outhe inside of the right forefinger ,
the ptaiefito odor emanating from your
person, the earth stain on jour trousers
where you slipped on the slope, your old
army penchant for elevated coigns of
vantage, the tuppenceha'penuy stamp on
the corner of the letter peeping out of
your breast pocket, coupled with the
fact that except our attorneys you have
no correspondents in London "
"How do you know that?"
"My dear Watson," said nolmes, shak
ing hie head, "jou. must credit me with
common intelligence. Your notorious
naetect of that long-suffering little wife
or yours, culminating in a judicial sepa
ration, so disgusted your friends that thoy
cut you m a body and compelled you to
seek seclusion In the colonies. You are
now endeavoring, through your attorneys,
to get the decree set aside that compels
you to pay her ten and six-pence a month,
and but perhaps I need not continue.
letters an average of fivelettersto a word?
What -would be your own deduction from
"I ohould infer," replied T, after some
year 1MI5.J- lind , thought, "that the advertiser wished to say
as cneapiy as posKiuie mi hi buiuu memum -bin
family had I ost something which he was
anxious to recover "
I could eoc that Holmes was a little
nettled at the insight I had displajed.
"Vou make your usual mistake of not
putting onough emphasis on the signi
ficance of details," said he. "It is the
omissions in this paragraph that are im
portant. From them I have already been
enabled to form beven distinct theories
as to the problem, any or all of winch may
be correct And now, as we probably have
tome hard work before ub, you will pardon
me for improving this opportunity for a
And before I bad lime to reply, this ex
traordinary man had folded his arms, closed
bis cjes, and fallen into a profound and
A few hours later we were seated on the
veranda of my American frieud Wiggins'
a man of average
height and indeter
minate figure, with
ma h abit of crossing
mly and of wniling 1
mthing of an amus
ming nature trans
pired in our conver
sation. I need uot
say that none of
were lost upon
Holmes, though ho
sat with Ins eyelids
still closed as if in
Bleep. Tor reasons
which will imme-
-wlth children; his avoidance of thorn may
have been connected with his aversion to
female socioty, to which I have made al
lusion elsewhere -in'thcee memoirs; if you
buve not the volurucby you, you can procure
it at the book shops, pries $1.25. Tho,
truth is, he was always reticent as to his
early history, and as I had no boutco of
information except hlmseir, I do not know
much about it. I l egret to ndd that in
stead or adopting Lucottina at tho con
clusion of this adventure, as I hoped ho
would, he appeared to lose all interest in
her and novor mentioned her again.
Holmes' conduct in the pasture was
Btrange, and in anyone but himself would
have been unac
man was on the hot
scent of investiga-,
tlon he was hardly
recognizable as the
'cold, lather indo
lent and indiffer
ent personality that
'he commonly af
fected. His thin
nostrils dilated; his
cheeks flushed; his
teeth were set; he
was like a setter
crossed with a
few moments ho
flung himself face
downward on the
about like a ser
pent, and oxnniln
l n g everything
through the strong
lens that he alwajs
carried nboflt him.
Often he would put
1239 and '1-241 1 Hh St.
Mate Us a Visit?
diately appear. I omit-Mr Hlggins' account
When he had finished, Holmes unclosed
his eyelids and brought together the tips
of his long fingers.
"Your statement is singularly lucid,"
lie remarked. "But as an error at this stage
might prove serious let us recapitulate. Tiie
Object, you say, was lost three days ago by
one of your children, but jou have been
unable to discover by which one of them, or
what the Object itself was. You remember,
Watson, my baying that this case was sure
to develop a bizarre interest. Now, Mr.
Higglns, let me aEk you one question. How-
came it to jour knowledge that any Object
at all had been lost?"
"On entering my study the morning before
this sentence 'J have lost somthiu'.'
The last word lacked the e and the 'g'."
Holmes' eje gleamed. "Bid jou recognize
"I did not."
"Becaueethe words wereformed byputting
togethersomelettcr-blocks which wcregiven
to the children last Christmas."
"This is of immense importance," said
Holmes, making a note upon his shirt cuff.
"Did jou preserve the document?"
"I am sorry tosay that Charlotte.my negro
housemaid, removed it in my absence."
"Hum! But you have the blocks? I think
we shall manage. Will you oblige me by
calling the children?"
"All of them?"
"By all means! Watson" hebent towards
me, caught my pith helmet from my head,
aud sent it whirlingdown mtothe yard. "As
you go down to pick it up, Watson," he
added, "take a look underneath the veranda
It is always well to make sure that one has
been overheard." Knowing his methods, I
did as he suggested, and reported the coast
Holmes now stretched out his long legs
so that they completely covered the breadth
of the veranda. The seven children ap
peared In the order of their ages, from a
irawkv girl of twenty-five with sandy hair
and an ill-fitting riding habit, to a littlo"
miss of ten with yellow hair, a sore
thumb and her frock unbuttoned behind.
Ordinary disguises were superfluous for
Holmes, but, familiar though I was of
his power of utterly changing his appear
ance by mere force of will, I was hardly
YW arc Tas wonrfuVas ever But 1'ropared for the amazing alteration in
loa are as wonatrrui as ctr. .out ,,.,-.-. i, i,nnnw: nt footed.
the break in the buggy frame"
"An abrasion ou your 6leevo where it
nibbed against the splintered wood. But
xeallj- these explanations are poor policy.
Tbej- dtroy the sense of mysteiy, which
is one of the great elements of power. How
do vou like j'our neighbors, the American
He met my speechless stare of bewil
derment with an amused smile.
"Tlie paterfamilias, with his native
humor and his classical attainments,
must be good company; the sven chil
dren may in some respects be a draw
back, though they constitute a practice
in themselves "
"Holmes, you positively alarm me."
He pulled a copy of the Jamaica Stand
ard out of his pocket and pointed to this
"Lost A small object. Particulars at
"Boos this allay your fears?" he asked.
"On the contrary. It is true that the
place adjoining mine is called Southcum,
"A very super
ficial deduotion, I
assure you. South
cam is not down
on the maps; it
must then have
reoently been re
named that Is, it
must have got a
new occupant, la
Jamaica new oo
be Americans The
Indicates that the
family has recent
ly oome south, but
the last syllable
"cum" points to a
pun, lily possible
to a Latin scholar
heiicc the sense
of humor "Gum"
came south with a
pen: In other
man3' IsoUnT." bactcfl away ln
Hion? Living expenses in the States are
hihji The literary profession, seldom
remunerative anywbere, is this year espe
cially precarious In tho great republic
Hobcc a poor author would be especially
apt this year to seek a cheap environ
ment, ir incuraborcd with a family. Life
In the tropics is supposed to bo cheap.
Owing to the facilities for marriage and
divorce in America families are often
lasser there than elsewhere. Bo you fol
"I can see how you arrive at the fact that
be has a largo family, but how you hit upon
the iHiniber of the children "
"Ah, you never read, I see, my little
xneBograph on the ratio between the family,
the latitude, and the nationality, divided
"by the profession. It gamed the medal at
the Royal Society, out that is a tnrie "
"Holmes," said I, "you are, in my
oplntoB . the best and wisest man 1 have ever
Holmes chuckled. "To a superficial eye,
Jkbow I must seem cgostic in admitting the
truth or j'our estimate," ho said, "but I
should hold it the height of affection to dis
claim supreme powers and virtues merely
because they happen to bo my own."
"Ana was it the 'Standard advertise
ment that brought you here to-day?"
"Excellent! Watson, yon are improving!
Tes. although recent servioes to tbecrowned
beads or Scandinavia and other European
empires have relieved me from any pressure
of necessity in these researches, still, in
the interest of chemistry. Hike occasionally
to work out a human problem or two. I
can't, or course, expect another Study in
Bcarlot or Naval Treaty, but this arfatr
promises to be amusing, in spite or its com
juonplnccextcrnai aspect. In some respects,
Indeed, it is quite unique."
"May Iask what makes you think so?"
"Have you obserred that the advertise
xnrnt contains Just eight "words and forty
his physical aspect, which he now affected
It hardly seemed possible that the short,
fat, bald-headed old gentlemen, with the
bulbous nose, heavy gold earrings and
strong smell of musk, who now sat in his
chair, was really my lean and ascetic
friend. In fact, I was on the point of ex
claiming, "Why, what has become of
Holmes?" when, recollecting his dislike
of being interrupted, I restrained mjself
and remained motionless.
The children were required to pass in
single file from the door at the western
end of the veranda to that at the eastern.
All of" them did this without mishap until
it came to the turn of the youngest, who,
in lifting her left foot to step over Holmes'
leg. accidentally put it through a rent in
instantly shot out a long arm and caught
her, at the same time recovering his nat
"Your name is Lucettina," he said, with,
intense energy. "It is marked in indelible
ink ou the top corner of your pinafore. You
are in tho habit of riding a horse astride
in the pasture. Here are the filaments of
the horse blonket ou both sides of your
petticoat. You have a dog eleven inches
high It was his teeth that tore this rent
in tout skirt. You "
"I haven't got any dog now," inter
looking at liim
with childish cu
riosity. The horse
kicked his head
this is Satur
day "Pardon mo,
but ray little girl
is mistaken. The
dog was killed on
Monday," said Mr.
to-day is Wednes
went on exult-
ingly. "The day of his death and the loss
of tho ojbect are the same! We are moving
in deep very deep watcra, but we bhall
swim to laud. That incision on the ball or
your left thumb was made with a sharp
cutting instrument.' He paused abruptly,
squatted down on the ground, took out a
note book and pencil, rind said, "Let us
play a game. This pencil is dull. Lend mo
your penknife. '
"I lost it," said Lucettina, unconsciously
putting her hand in her pockot.
"Quite so, you lost it!" repeated Holmes,
a flush of triumph stealing into his sallow
cheeks, "never mind, here is another pencil
that will do better. You can road? I
thought so! I shall right down the words,
I am going to give you something nice.'
There," ho continued, after having in
scribed the sentence in the book, "see if you
can read that."
Lucettina studied it a fow moments and
then said, "You have left out 'somethln'."
"Ah, how vcrj' careless of me," returned
Holmes, with an air of embarrassment. "I
was quite ill five years ago, and I suppose
I navo not yet quite recovered. Will you
kindly supply the missing word yourself?"
Lucettina placed tho book on her knee and
-wrote slowly and carefully. Holmes looking
over her shoulder. "Ah!" he ejaculated,
as she rinislied, "so you spell 'something
without tho 'e or g;' well, it Is a matter of
taste, after all. And, now wo will go down
in tho pasture."
"Shall I go with you?" inquired Mr.
"No; you will have the goodness you and
Watson to remain sitting precisely where
you are till wo return, Come, Lucet
tina." "But where Isthonice thing you Baid you'd
give me?" asked the child.
"I was playing a game on you then, you
know." Holmes replied, cocking I113 eye at
me, "however, you shall have something
when we get back. Come on."
From where we sat we commanded a
view ot tho pasture, which waB at tho
bottom of a Email valley just below the
noose. I bad new before seen Holmes
AND DOWN THE
in his pockets bits of mud. small sticks and
6toues,andsiiiiilarthm!T8 which an ordinary
detective would doubtlesB have regarded
as mere rubbish. Lucceltlna meanwhile,
seemed tolmd hltn vastly entertaining, and
oneo hhe mounted astride his back, and he
convejed her a considerable distance In
this manner. It was perhaps half an hour
before they returned together to theveranda.
"Well, Holmes," I exclaimed, "what
He gave me a vacant glance, but made no
replj'. His face was pale, and there was a
drawn stern look about his mouth. For
ton minutes, during which neither Hlggins
nor nij'Geir ventured to draw breath, he
strode moodily up and down the veranda,
hW hands thrustdeepintohistrouserpocketB,
and his chin sunk upon Ins breast. Sud
denly, without a moment' warning, be
daubed through the western door, winch
opened into the dining-room, and slammed
violently behind him. What did it, all
niggins and I exchanged a startled look.
We listened. A low, unmistakable gurgl
ing noise struck our ears. We sprang to
our feet, and could it be that my poorfriend,
defeated at last by the insurmountable
difficulties of this problem, had preierred
death to dishonor? We rushed into the
The following spectnelo met our gaze:
Holmes sat at the tablo holding to his
lips a pocket-flask the last drops from which
ho was pouring down hia throat. I know
it to contain Three-Stars Brandy, nnd I
leaped forwards, hoping to eecure a drain
for mj-self. But ho had been too quck for
"Holmes," I gasped, staggonng back from
a well-del ivered blow on the ej-e, "have
you solved the problem?"
"The problem?" ho repeated with an
amused smile, rolling up tho solid silver
flask as If It had leeu a whisp ot paper m
his sinewy fingers, and placing it in his
watch-fob, "The problem, as you call it,
my dear Watson, was solved threo hours
"How? what?" exclaimed Higglns and
I in a breath.
"I have here," replied he, producing tho
article as ho spoke, a twelve-ounce bag full
of penquo tobacco, and a pipe. If you
have no objection I will smoke the former
in the latter while relating my investiga
tions." Higglns signified ills compliance, wo all
threo returned to tho veranda, where
Holmes, from tho midst of tlio blue cloud
in which lie speedily enveloped himself,
spoke as follows:
"My friend Watson, hero, will bear me
out in saying tlmtmy Interest In thiscaso has
been duo rather to its romantic and Ecmi
tropicai surroundings than to anything
speciallyabstrusemtho circumstances them
selves. Tho two olumes of m- "Ad
ventures" and "Memoirs," which ho has
already published, nnd which, ir you havo
not already secured them, I should advise
you to obtain withoutdelay, contain, some
what embellished perhaps, a few or such, of
my experiences us the present state of
European politics make it judicious to
publish. I was about to say that my first
glimpse of j-our little advertisement con
vinced mo that it must bo Lucettina who
had lost the Object;. Of couiao, tho stumble
of the little girl ovor my legs was not tho
accident that it seemed to bo, but a part
or my carefully prepared plan. Aiy suuse
qucnt crosa-cxatninatlon of hor, which to
you no doubt nppearod so aimless and
inconsequential, really informed mo that
she hail had alcnife which. Bho had lost, and
a dog which had been killed by a kick from
a horse on which she had boen riding. It
was at this juncture that wo visited tho
pasture, during our stay in which I elicited
the information that she had put hor knlfo
in her pocket just before taking her ride.
Her pocket having at tho timo been full of
other matter. I at onco perceived that the
kmre might easily havo become dislodged,
probably m the act of hor boing placed on
the horse by tho groom, or in the subse
quent gallop. Tho pockot iB on tho right
hand side ot tho dress; it was tliorelore
on the right-hand side of tho path that I
rnmiucted my scrutinj'. Satisfied that it
was not on the
problem, by the
process ot ex
down t o the
dog, on whom
from an early
stage of the
been fixed. I
this dog had
her during tho
We gladly Invite all citJ7cns for an
hour's stroll over tbo house. Not only tire
they welcome without being buyers, but
eo also arc their friends. All sightseeing
and information are freely at their service.
nure jou will find honest merchandise
at bo nest prices. Our ever-increasing
sales show the appreciation with which
jou greet our methods of business doing.
DOc. the price of Ladles' Percale Shirt
Our price, 25c.
Another invoice of those Ladies' Percale
Wrappers that created such an uproar.
Our price, 49c.
We will sell you the finest selection of
new novelty Bress Goods. Regular price,
Our price, 20c, strictly all wool.
Rememlier a $4 Strictly All-wool Jersey
Suit goes this week at 52.48.
See our window display of Ladles',
Meu's, nnd Children's Button and Lace
Shoes, all styles, $2 goods. Go at SI. 48.
Our Ladies' Black and Tan Capes, $2.48
goods, go at $1.48.
Did you see those Lace Curtains? 08o.
goods go at 30c.
New invoice of 6-4 Chenille Table Cov
ers, $1.48. Go at 89c.
All-wool remnants of Carpet, 50c. goods,
go at 25c.
$1 Ingrain Rugs go at 40c.
25c. Heavy Seamless Mattings go at
15c. Hemp CarpetB go at 8 l-2c.
50c. Plain Opaque" Window SJiades goat
By KATnxniNE Bate?
(Copy'rfght, 1895, by TJachelle'r, Johnson
The back yard of a comer tenement on
Twcntv-Bixth street was always a furprlse
to these patscrpby who chanced logo that
wny dn sqiuc unwonted erranu, uuu u.u un
failing plp.iFura to tr.o vnoie pupuiauuu
or the neighborhood, an ls cemer oi mo
small inclosuTe was a rrenh bed of Ilowers,
petunias of var.ed Lues, led and yellow
marlgoles, and other "blossoms of tho hardy
typo, all hemmed in oy a roracr oi hhhbicu
sweet nljMsum and mignonette. Narrow t
paths, accurately cnred by "nlnte shells,
running on each s.de of the Hover bed,
separated tho more aefcthetic raT of the
garden from the .strip of onions neaT the
fence on cno side, and of cabbages on tho
other. At tho alloj'eud of tbe yard stood
.... ..irt clnnin t,r n Itip In -R hlrh t1ohrlH
md been iISl Ir. .ch a way as to croSs j with father a Ining-dog a,r '
each othcrt random; Tho whole frame- JI, ."Wi u T.??Z"l
work wab covered by morning-glory vines,
which reached out thefr tendrils 16 the
15c. Duck go at 8 3 4.
12 l-2c. .French "Percale go at 8 3-4c.
15c. Crcpons go at 10c.
15c. Dimities go at 8 3-4c.
12 l-2c. Black Salines go at 7 l-2c.
25c. Boys' Blcyefe Hose go at 15c.
50c. Ladies 'Opera Hose go at 15o.
1239-124! Ilth Street Southeast.
HIGGINS RO&E AND
his custom was; but that suddenly he had
stoped barking and emitted a sort of cough,
immediately after which he had received
the blow from tho horse's hoof that caused
his death, I Bay Mmmediatolj ' because it
waB b y the off hind foot that ho was struck,
and he was at tho timo on the horse's right
side. I was not long in arriving at the con
clusion that the cough, or yelp, had been
occasioned by the knifo falling out of Lu
ettina's pocket into hiB throat, and that it
was the confusion thus brought about m
Ins faculties th.lt prevented him from avoid
ing the horse's hoof, as ho would otherwise
have done. Having ascertained that tho
body of the little dog had been deposited
npon the compost-heap, and having gath
ered a fow trifles with the help of my
lens, I returned to tho veranda. Now,
Watson, let me ask you what would havo
been j'our next step in these circum
stances?" Abrupt though the question was, I was
"I 6hould cause the corpse of the dog
to be produced," I said, "I should perform
laparotomy upon it, and search its gastric
cavity for the Tmiro."
"Is that the course you would advise,
Mr. Holmes?" asked our host.
But Holmes seemed to have become sud
denly abstracted. His gaze was turned
skywards. "How beautiful and instructive
are tho phenomena of nature," he mur
mured. "Take the flight of (he birds, for
example. How completely does the flight
of yonder buzzard Illustrate the ideal of
power combined with gracel Yet his per
sonal habitfc are In many respects groes and
uncelestial. Let tbjls remind us to exercise
charity towards our fellow creatures, who,
though., they may be inferior to us in
6o..e respects, may yet rise high above
us in others."
At this odd digression , eo alien to my
friend's usual 6tyle, Higglns throw mo a
covert glance and significan&y tapped
his forehead. Meanwhilo the buzzard di
rected his flight toward ns, and Boomed
to contemplate alighting on tho roof or the
bouse. Holmes tofo, regarded him intently,
and then, as the bird swooped forward, he
snatched a silver-mounted revolver from his
pocket aud fired. The buzzard fell dead
on the veranda steps.
"Holmes, what have you done?" I ex
claimed. "Buzzards are protected by Ja
"That is Mr. Hlggins' affair," he re
turned coldly. "What concerns mo is, that
the knife is found." t
"The knifo found?" I cried. "How?
"In the buzzard's crop, to be suro. Tho
dogswallowed the knife, th tsbuzzardate tho
dog, and the knife along with it."
"But how do you know it was this par
ticular buzzard?" asked Mr. Higglns.
Holmes took out his pocketbook and ex
tracted from it a small brown feather.
"You have, perhaps, never seen my
monocranh on the plumage of birds as a
means or detecting crime," he remarked.
"It is a standard work among tho scien
tific societies ot Europe. I picked up this
feather on tho compost-heap. As that buz
zard swooped, I noticed that tlio twonty-
seventh feather of the left pinion was
missing. This is it. He was the culprit."
"Amazing!" I exclaimed. "Holmes,
this is the greatest intellectual triumph
you have ever achieved. You omitted,
however, to state your reasons for caus
ing Lucettina to write tho word 'somthiu'
la your book. Perhaps you prefer to
leave that to the ingenuity or the reader?"
"Although that has never been my
habit," he replied, "I am willing to do
so la this instance. Well, Mr. Higgms,
arc you satisfied?"
"It is marvelous," answered Higgins,
inserting the Uiumb and finger in his
waistcoat pocket and bringing out a
small penknife with a white handle.
"Meanwhile, here is the Lost Object. I
myself picked it up a few minutes after
Lucettina dropped it in au unsuccessful
effort to put it in her pocket. But for
this trifling detail, I should certainly ex
pect to find tho knife in the position
you havo indicated." Ho paused a mo
meut, and then added: "I heard that
Mr. Holmes was in the Island, and de
sired to make his acqualrttance. The in
sertion of the advertisement in the paper
seemed the method most likely to succeed.
I also was desirous to get a little 'copy'
for my New York weekly letter. In con
sideration of the object, 1 trust Mr. Holmes
will excuse tho means."
For an instant I feared that Holmes
was bested atilabt. Never was 1 more
"My dear sir," 'ho said, with a broad
smile, "I have been from the first per
fectly aware rthat you had found the
knife, and in the manner indicaiea. nuc
Tecognizing imyou an intellect of a cali
ber noarly equal toxny own, I had to resort
to extraordinary tneans to induce you to
show your hand I think you will be the
first to admit that I have been successful.
Confess, my dear Hlggins, that had I not
shot the buzzard you would not nave pro
duced the penknife!"
Higgins rose and bowed to tills incon
testable evidence ot superior greatness.
"Mr. Holmes, and you, Mr. Watson,
have the goodness to walk up to my side
board," he said. "The drinks are on me!"
The English Novel.
'The abolishment of the three-volume novel
in England hasresulted in the Introduction of
smaller, much poorer type fn the one-volume
substitute. This type "has been made
necessary by compressing three volumes in
one., Tho average English novel is between
120,000 and 150,000 words long and in
three-volume shape there wasampleroomfor
wide margins and good; type, wiucn there is
not m the single book. Thero is not much
chance or tho novelists making their books
any shorter, as they arepaidbythepublishers
BO much per thousand words. For them to
curtail tho length would mean ffnancial loss
Tflt o y-
She Was No Fool.
'We need no ring to plight our troth,"
bo suggested, as heldssed her Impetuously.
"Yes we do," TCtortcd the maiden. "None
of your sleight-of-hand tricks with me."
lpiicc behind the stump, nnd even gracious
ly let eome ofr-shoots drop over me gar
bage barrel outside. At the other end of
the j-nrd the pillars of tho little porch upon
which the basement door opened were also
twined with ttteto luxuriant 't ires, and th
two comfort ablesplit-boltomed rockersuptm
the porch, foiccd bj circumstance's into a
chatty proximity, were in tho fhade the
greater part of the day. Altogether it was
a unique back yard for this region of tho
city, nnd its charms were made more evi
dent by its beii.g at least six feet below
the levol of the sidewalk, fo that a lo'terer
could lean on the fence aud look down at
the cheery scene without feeling that his
act was an intrusive one.
This jard, the ground floor of the tene
ment, and the bit of grass in front, grass
that was clipped each morning, formed the
home of William Miller, and a very happy
home It was, in fcpHe of the fact that half
the men in the neighliorhood had said feel
ingly, "Pore Bill, pote old cuss," when ho
and'hls mother and his email sifter Bolly
had united their rortur es with Maria Ken
nedy and her three sisters.
"Six women folks is somethin' of a fam
bly." Bill had admitted, "but, Lor5, them
girls will be marrym' orr in no time and I
reckon the two Miss Millers will get along
together. Anyhow, a man's gotter get
married when the notion takes him, and
what yer goln' to do about it if neB
got folks and she's got folks? Take 'em
all in, I say, and keep on a-saylu' to yer
sef aud to everybody else, 'The more the
During the ten years since his marriagp
lie had faithfully kept up his cheerful
speech, aud the old and the young Mr?.
Miller had gotten on fairly well together
in spite of positive convictions cherished
by each as to tho running of a household,
but tiie girls had not married off at the
rapid rateon which Bill hadcounted. There
were still three Miss Kennedys, and even
Dolly, undeniable beauty that she had de
veloped into, was still "on pore Bill's
hands," as the same ej-mpnthetic friends
often remarked. It was not for lack of
suitors in her case; nil the blame, if any
had ever dreamed of blaming Dolly for
anything,, would have to belaid to her own
capricious will; it was, however, a matter
of pride rather than regret to the whole
family when it was surmised that "our
Doll's turned off another."
As Bill had grown accustomed to her
HghMioartetl Indifference to her lovers, It
naturally surprised him one night when he
had divided to go Into his own pretty back
yard for a smoke to have hia sisters-in-law
say hastily. In rapid succession, "Better
not, Bill," "Stay where you are BUI," and
"You ain't wanted out there. Bill."
"Why not?" he asked. "Nobody out
there but that no-'count Henery Dobbins.
Thoy can have the rockers I don't want
to set down. I'm just goin out to santer
'round a spell."
The three looked at each other. The
youngest, Adeline, who was only thirty,
giggled a little as she saUl, "Yc3, it's only
Henery, but you better do yore santerin
right here in the- kitchen, Brother Billy."
"Stay in doors on a night like this? Not
much." said Bill. To himself he added,
"Doll's like enough tired of Henery by now
and mebbe he nnd mo can get a fow words
on this here last caper of the mayor's. No
use trylu' to make the girls understand it,
but Henery Is a good talker, If he is so
Ho started a,raln for the yard, but during
his moment's delay his wife and mother
had joined in the discussion .
"He ain't worthy of hor noticin' him,"
the older woman said, earnestly. "You go
right along out thero, Bill. I don't know
what's come overDotl to take sech a shine
to Henery, after all tho good offers she's
Bill looked at them thoughtfully; so Dol
ly's hard heart waB really touched at last.
and by shiftless Henery Bobbins, of all
people in the worldl
"I reckon I jest as leave smoke right
here," he said with his usual good nature.
His slstcrs-in-law beamed at him.
"I think Henery is a right pleasant young
man," Jano ventured.
Old and young Mrs. Miller both turned
"You do , do you?" said hersister. "Well,
seein' as you are sech a judge" but-she
was interrupted by hor mother-in-law, who
said with ponderouB Barcasm, "May I be
people, notably in Jils wife's family, who
asserted that he was not much of a one
Bill himself had not a high opinion or
Jim's mental ability, but he lifld grown at
tached to tho gaunt young fellow, WUU
'his mildly apologetic air.
. ( Jim took a great Interest in Dolly's love
he sold to Bill one night. Tho words had
a familiar ring to him. He had heard his
wife's mother sdy something of the sort
in another connection, and It was" pleasant
to pnss on the criticism.
"No, she ain't," said Bill. "But look
a here, Jim, I'll tell you how 1 feel 'bout
if jod'U hole your tongue 'tout my views.
Doll likes him, so she'll be happy and. the
other girls and ma like him well 'nough if
only he wtnt the rT5roar0rIn' kind. Now,
it's irie that (hat wfii coine on, and I don't
mi'i the tPklo" cae of 'etasolcng as they
will be content to live fight with US'."
"What jer want him there for? Ain't
yer sorter crowded already?"a8ked Jim.
"Yea, sorter," said Bill. He was a little
ashamed of hi own attitude, and continued
'But jou gee,
any. it would be Eorter pleasant seein' a
man now and then. Why I ain't enjoyed
election day and the week before and after
it for ten years the waj' I have this last
due jeet paepcd. To come home and have a
feller there that knowed what was what bos
jest been prime, I cab tell yer. Fact is, I
don't mind tcllln' ycf, Jt?st between you and
me, that the extry bother of aupportin'
Henery wouldn't. be nothin' compared to
tho satisfaction of havm' another man in
the fambly to chin with. I know he's
dreadful lazy, and would bo out of a job a
good pa 't ot the time, but he'sa good talker,
and he ain't a woman, I'd re'ty like to hur
ry up the weddin', if (here's gdlti' to be one,
fur my sake as well aa Doll's, but I can't
tell ma or any of tne giriatne reason wny.
"Why can't yer?" asked Jim. "Of course
you couldn't well say to Dolly that you was
willin' to put up with hisgood-for-notbin'-ness
fur the bake of his tongue, but I don't
see wh y yon can't say it to the rest of 'em,
at least to jorc wife."
They were crossing the street and Bill
paused in the center, regardless of the
vigorous swearing from the driver of a
"At least to my wife!" he ejaculated
scomfally. When they had reached the
sidewalk in safety he put his hand on his
fneiid'sarm. "Look a-here,nian," he said,
"ain't you been merrledmost a year.'"
"Yep, but what's that got to do with it?"
"Oh, j-ou p'um fool! Well, I ain't been
merried ten year fur' nothin'. Do you
B'pose I'd resk the happiness of our home
by actin' as if I want satisfied with my
womenfolk's ralk? No, sir! I always act
as it Hiked nuthin' better than hearin'
the sort ot truck they tell me didn't care
nuthin' 'tall 'bout talkln' to a man fact is.
a man would jest 'bout turn my stomach!
Sayydoes jour wifeacthappj'"
Jifrt hung his head.
"To tell the truth," he said, humbly.
"I ain't made much of an out at bein' a
merried man. I ain't a drinkin' feller,
as yon know, but my wife's talkin' some of
goin' back to her own folks."
"Shouldn't wonder," aid Bill calmly.
"Well, j-ou ain't so much to blame, fur
you are young and you didn't have a fambly
of a mother and a siMerand marry another
of sisters-in-law to lenrrTyou tenfe pretty
quick. But vou take my advice go home
and ask -sore wife 'bout how much that
baby cried and if the Move has kept on
smokin' and ir that wan't percal Miz Mien
borg bad on last Sunday and ir those new
folks jest moved in dor't act mighty queer
and you listen to all she answers yer, and
you won't bear no more talk 'bout her
goin' back to her folks. And say, don't
you try to tell her how the elections went
or what the boys was sayin down to the
FOURTH YAf? AT
507 Twelfth St. N. W.
Over 25 Years Experfence.
A SPECIALIST ADD EXPERT
'I LIKE THE WAY THEM GLORIES
shop, unless it was 'bout romebody 6he
knows. G'night, and don't you forget that
talk 'bout Henery was jest between you
They parted at the corner and Bill , whist
ling gayly, went down the steps fo his
cheery home. Maria opened the door for
him, whispering as she did It, "Henery is
here again to supper."
"You don't say," grumbled Bill, sup
pressing his pleasure. "Well, we do have
"We've jest got to put up with it, so
don't say a word, Bill; I'll be mad ir you
do," Maria turned quickly, her vexation
vanishing under His sympathy.
For some reason Henery's usual fund of
topics for conversation seemed exhausted
this evening. Ho ate his 6upper m a si
lence that seemed uncomfortable, and made
Dolly look at him time and again wonder
mgly. When the meal was over he said
hesitatingly that he would like to fee Dolly
in the front room ror a moment.
"Got her a ring," surmised Adeline.
"And wants her to set the day, mebbe,"
chimed in Jane.
Bill listened with a pleased smile. He
sat down by the kitchen stove and smoked,
making plans m peaceful contentment, but
his dreams were soon interrupted by Dolly,
who came hastily into the kitchen, bang
ing the door behind her.
"Thank goodness," She said with vim,
"I'm rid of him."
"Bid of nenery?" gasped BilL "Ain't
Do you feel more tired ln the morning
than on going to bed? Do you have
melancholy spells? Are von unable to
concentrate your mind? Have you poor
memory? Do you feel unfitelther for basf
nes? or society, feel shy. desire to be alone,,
lack confidence in yourself. Irritable, de
spondent, and almost demoralized, reel
generally nscd up, and that life is losing
its charm for you? If so, you are arflloted
And ir yon do not receive prompt and
efficient medical treatment you may be at
tacked suddenly by
Thousands of the busy, brainy, tbtafcJn
classes of American men exhaosjt them
selves long beroro they have reached whafr.
ought to be the age of
-Life's Golden Meridian.
Thousands or others who haye.bared the
candle at both ends, so to apeak, indulged
in excesses during youth, and aft&r mar
riage, perhaps, now realize the in&vitable
It does not by any means follow that all
men attaeVeel have been entity of either
fault or excesses, as only too often do we
find the sufferer's habits to have been quite
exemplarj, except that he has been
The Slave of His Own Ambition.
Perhaps he has been subjected to pro
longed mental strain, harrassed and racked
by a thousand and one tormenting eares?
real orlmaginary, and the worry of bis busi
ness or profession.
Ninety Per Cent.
Of men. at some time of life, between the
ages or 21 and 30. become armcted wUh or
came and nervous weakness and LOSS OF
skxual POWER, nartial or complete.
No other ailment is po disastrous to man 3
happiness So Intimate and direct is the
telegraphic line of communication between
the brain and the reproductive system that
the man. conscious of organic weakness, is
weiched down bj- miserable forebodings,
doubt, disability. fear3 and embarrassment.
The condition demoralizes a man; be loses
dignity, becomes despondent, sometimes'
thinks of committing suicide, goes nothing:
to live for. and feels generally discontented
with himself and all the world.
Do you begin to realize tliat you are drift
ing into the above condition? that you are
notso vigorous as rorraeily. have not tbeoJd
tirae energy nor vitality, are losing your
grip, and lack the vim of other days which
enabled you to thrust trifles asJde and
march onwaru to suceesa: l so.
CONSULT DR. CARLETON.
This condition or last or Tailing visor in
married or single, no matter bow induced
can be cured by the scieutiflc and advanced,
methods ot treatment employed by Dr.
Carleton. Age no impediment.
Who are troubled with dreams and drata.
which sooner or later exhaust vitality and.
result in nervous deWhty or other serious
conditions?, should consult Dr. Oarleton.
He will take an interest in them and. get
A description of this most dreadfal dis
ease is unnecessary here; suffice it to
say that its treatment by scientific men
to-day is very different and lar in ad
vance ot what it was some years ago.
Dr. Carleton's method of treatment is
pre -eminently successful, and be guar
antees an alisolute cure and complete
eradication of the disease in shortest
possible time by latest scientific methods;
worst cases solicited.
BLOOD AND SKIN.
Blood and S-in Diseases. Blood Poison.
SvDhilis. affecting the Body. Throat. Skin.
Tumors. Wartv Growths, sc sctentrfia
treatment: guaranteed cure ITlceratlon qf.
Leg or other parts Worst cases tolioiteii.
Cure effected or nionej refunded.
DPIUATt diseases ot any nature, Scalding-,
I fi 1 1 ft 1 C Burning, Smarting, Frequent Uri
nation, Discharges, Irritation, Gleet, Stric
UAQIPfinCl C worst cases, radically cured
TMniuUUULLi by my unfailing method.
Don't waste precious time. Consult Dr.
Carleton. He will take an interest in yeu,
he will get you well. His long residence
in this city and his brilliant record of cures
effected in apparently hopeless cases entitle
him to your confidence.
allowed to ask, Jano Konnoj-, how many t yer coin' to take him?"
times you've been married, ma'am?" "That I ain't," said Dolly, her cheeks
naming uuu Jier cjra num im iiuxio.
"The no-count impudent ielieri"
FOURTH YEAR AT
507 TwebTth Street Northwest
Consultation Frea. Strictly Confidential
The sninsters wore subdued, and Bill,
yielding to the forco of family opinion,
joined the couplo in the yard, but ho tender-heartedly
spent a large part of the time
over by tho morning glories near the alley
"I like the way them glories smell," he
explained politely when he was invited to
sit down on the porch.'
"Bill's a lamb," Dolly said to herself
tenderly," and I wish thom glories did
have some smell to kill out tho one from
the alley for him."
While Bill's wife and mother were sub
missive to Dolly's will they grumbled a good
deal to each other.
"It will jest moan Bdl's bavin to look
out fur them," said his mother. "Henery
won't work steady, and Bill will havo to
take 'em In."
"Yes," agreed Maria, "that's what it
will come to. Bill's got good pay, but I
don't seo how he will stretch it any fur
ther." Both women sighed at the prospect. be
fore them, but avoided looking at each
other as they did so. Theirs were kindly
natures, in spite of the frequent jarring,
and while Maria was anxious that tho
old woman should not think she was be
grudging Bill's care of his- mother and
sister, the mother was hoping Maria did
not suspect that she felt her boy had had a
liard timo supporting three sisters-in-law
all these years. Bill himself said
littlo to his family, except when he deemed
it judicious to throw in a rew remarKs
derogatory to Henery when tho latter's
lack of thrift was an especial source of
annoyance, or a littlo praiso of him when
Dolly seemed depressed in spirit. It
was difficult balancing even for one who
had grown agile in Buch performances
by long years of practice in adapting
himself to feminine moods.
To one person, however, he gave a clear
view of the real state of his mind, and
this was Jim Buggies, who workefd In the
shop with him. He Hvtid near the Millers,
so Bill had the chance' to walk home with
him each day, a privilege ho prized highly,
for Jim was a- man, although thero were
"I thought you liked him," said Bill.
- "Well. I didn't. Oh, yes, I did sorter,
The girl dropped down by him and took
his hand with, a sudden touch of tender
ness. "I was sorter taken with him," she ad
mitted, "but I knew all the time he was
no count and .that it was dreadful hard
"You ain't turnia' him off fur my sake?"
asked Bill eagerly. "Oh, you ain't no need
to do tliat, Doll. Here, I'll run call him
back. Why, I should like to have him come
right in here and live with us."
"You are the unselflshest man I ever
saw," cried Dolly, "but it ain't for you I'm
doin' it. The sassy feller wanted to tell
me he didn't want me to set too much by
his 'tentlons for he's got another girl! Said
that to me, Bill, that's turned off half the
men 'round here! There, don't be so road;
it was all a mistake, anyhow, and it's jest
pure luck for you that it's turned out so.
Say, will you tell the rest I've sent him
"Of course I will," said Bill, sadly.
When Dolly retired he went at his
task. The girls were distressed, but his
mother and wifrcongratulatedhlm warmly.
"It's a fine piece of luck for you, Bill,"
they said, "and you deserve It, Bill. You'd
borne well the thought of bavin' him to
look out for, too."
"Had I?" said Bill, meekly. "He was a
modest man in his estimates of his own de
serts, and he added with a sigh, "Well,
mebbe I did deserve this luck."
"We've certainly got a good 'nough sized
family now," mused Maria.
"Oh, yes" said Bill, "six women is quite
a fambly? We couldn't have got long with
a man, too p'raps."
Mammy Do you hear what der physician
says7 You've got the chicken-pox. Hain'tl
done tolo you datsompf In dreadfal gwlneter
happin less you kept away fura dathen
coop?" Harper's Bazar.
Here's a Howdy-Bo!
It's a horrible statement, nevertheless
true, that while numerous women are only
too ready to give their time and energies
to teaching the Chinese male there can
hardly be found at the present moment a
so-called "charitable" woman who will
undertake to teach English to a Chinese
female. Just now there is quite a good
caste Chinese woman looking for "some
Christian American lady who wdl teach
me how to speak English, and the Chris
tian doctrine at the same time." The
woman came over a month ago to join her
husband, who keeps a little prospering
Chinese store tea, lanterns, fans and lhe
rest in Bleecker street. When a lady
from the cltv mission went to see her she
said that if some good lady would teach
her conversation and religion she mighteven
manage to pay a little for tho instruction.
Not one conversational or religious lady
could be induced to assarae the task. One
good, charitable lady went down with
teaching intentions, thinking a man want
ed the lessons, but when she found noth
ing better than a woman she cooled off and.
thought she "couldn't find the time." Then
the poor Chinese lady, who thought it
might be her birth or breeding that was in
question, called an interpreter and pro
claimed through him to the withdrawing
teacher her high pedigree and connection
in China. "I am a blue-blooded aristo
crat," was what she saki, "and if you
don't believe my word about it, just look
at my feet." The charitable woman did
take a look at her Teet, which were suffic
iently distorted in miniature for any well-iooked-af
ter Chinese lady, but all th asame
tho woman, who is very anxious and of a
gentle, refined temperament, remains with
out a teacher. New York Herald.
1 ft yg
A Good Sample
Here is an alleged sample of obituary
poetry taken from a Philadelphia paper;
I gave htm hismedlcine regular
From mom tUl the set of sup
He tdok two powders at ten o'clock
And another powder at one.
But doctors cannot help us
When death knocks at thadoor.
Good-bye, my darling hushandl
You left at ten minutes to four.
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