The Pensacola journal., July 09, 1912, Page 4, Image 4

About The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985

Image provided by: University of Florida

                
j
THE PENSACOXA JOURNAL, TUESDAY MORNING, JULY 9, 1912.
DAILY. WEEKLY. SUNDAY.
PUBLISHED .TVKRY MORNING EX
CEPT MONDAY.
BY
JOURNAL PUBLISHING COMPANY.
FRANK L. MAYES. President.
MEMBER THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Three Mnnths.$1.2 TVeeklv. vear. .$1.00
Pfr Monthii... ?.R0 Ore TVck in
One Tear 8.00 One Month.... .45
Office Journal Building. Corner De
Luna and Intendencia.
Entered n.n econd-c!ass matter at
the postofflce at Pensacola. Florida,
under Act of Congress. March 3. 1879.
" Phoness Editorial Rooms. 38 Busi
ness Office, 1500. j
FOREIGN ADVERTISING.
Foreign Advertising: Robert MaQuold.
Special Representative.
X York Office: Room 903 Bruns
wick Building.
Chicago Office: Boyee Building.
TUESDAY, JULY 9, 1912.
The Annual Slaughter
of William J. Bryan.
It may be only a coincidence but it
i notable that Just as the silly season
comes on, the annual slaughter of Wil
liam Jennings Bryan takes place. This
has been -oingr on now for sixteen
years and it is shown that the elo
quent Nebraskan has many more lives
than the proverbial cat.
Many newspapers and many indi
viduals, mostly those subservient lo
what is generally known as the in
terests, clapped their hands in glee
and proceeded at once to kill off Mr.
Bryan when the Baltimore convention
elected Judge Parker for temporary
chairman. It's a habit.
Should the peerless leader linger
much longer in the land of his na
tivity, doubtless Tray, Blanche and
Sweetheart will with each recurring
summer get together and Just as ef
fectively eradicate the Sage of Pair
view from the map as they have done
in the palmy days of yore.
It has long since become a 'matter
of history that during the dark days
of 1896, the wing of Democracy com
monly known as the McKinley Aid So
ciety, came to the rescue of Big Busi
ness and through the election of a
Republican president announced that
the "Boy Orator of, the Platte" was
permanently squelched.
Later on. when the silver tongued
gentleman from the west, like the
spook of the late lamented Mr. Ban
quo, refused to stay down, Mr. Bryan
returned from a tour of Europe and
in Madison Square Garden made a
speech in which he suggested that per
haps the time would come some day
when the government would be com
pelled to control the railroads and
other public service corporations;
'tJtJwjrwlse these giant corporations
would "lake over and control the
government.
f A great cry of "treason" went up all
over the land and the edict was sent
forth that Bryan was dead as a mack
erel. That has only been a decade
ago, bu now nearly every state in
the Union is making all kinds of ef
forts to control the public service cor
porations. One can count on his fin
gers all the votes who are not now in
favor of government regulation of
corporations and both the great po
litical parties, not to mention tho
great mass of independent voters who
belong to no party, are advocating the
suggestionflrst made by Mr. Bryan.
The task of killing off Mr. Bryan
had to ba carried over until the ad
vent of the next silly season.
The Great Commoner was put out
of existence at the St. Louis conven
tion eight years ago and a huge
boulder was placed at the door of the
eepulcher, but somehow when the
next battle for human rule and hu
man rights came off, his white plume
was seen waving in the thickest of
the fight, like tht of Hewey of Nav
arre. This is much In keeping with the
idle talk that found some circulation
that Mr. Bryan would bolt and pool
Issues with the proposed third party.
No doubt it was a grevious disappoint
ment to the protected interests that
Mr. Bryan did not bolt.
However, he still refuses to commit
political suicide and remains on deck
The YoungMari
' v of Today
will be, or should be, the
big- business man of to
morrow. Ours is essen
tially the vouner man's
bank. With us he should
open an account and es
tablish credit, both of
which are so important
to successful business.
All business matters
receive the most courte
ous consideration at our
hands.
Citizens & Peoples
National Bank
smilingly awaiting his annual slaugh
ter. ,
The- real yachting and motor, boat
course for the south fa In Pensacola
bay.
Let Them Locate
In West Florida.
Baron II. D. W. Hooft of Rotterdam,
Holland, is here conferring with Sen
ator Duncan U. Fletcher and Dr. C.
J. Owens, president and managing di
rector of the Southern Commercial
Congress, concerning immigration of
Dutch and Belgian farmers to tha
Southern States. The baron, who be
longs to one of the most ancient and
wealthy noble families of Holland, Is
organizing the European Mortgage
Company of Rotterdam, to finance
Dutch and Belgian farmers who wish
to take up Southern farm lands. Al
ready some of these immigrants have
settled in Florida, and more are to
be sent soon from Amsterdam and
Rotterdam to other Southern States.
The above is a telegraph dispatch
from Washington arid the information
is respectfully referred to the com
mercial organization and the real es
tate men and progressive citizens of
West Florida who are alive to the
situation and want good farmers to
locate in this favored section of the
Land of Enchantment.
In addition to locating a number of
these industrious farmers the barpn
and his associates contemplate enter
ing the banking or money-lending
business to enable the farmers to clear
their lands and gather their first crops.
A colony located by this man in West
Florida would only be the beginning,
for no sooner than the first ones bat
gin to prosper then they will conj
municate with their friends and they
too will come here to live. '
The baron was in Florida two
months ago, but came no farther west
than Tallahassee. However, it is not
too 'late to communicate with him
and The Journal feels that a rare op
portunity will be lost if he is not
brought to West Florida, where the
lands are fertile, the crops and fruits
diversified and where the climate is as
nearly perfect as man can ask.
Emmigrants from Holland are the
kind we need. There are a few al
ready in West Florida, but should a
large colony come this year it would
be only a short time until there would
be thousands here developing the
lands now lying idle. In seeking new
comers we want developers and not
consumers.
Woman's bad luck is for her pet dog
to carry off her false hair; a man's
when he carries home a few -golden
strands on the lapel of his coat.
Thirty-two couples, newly martied,
cccupied a sleeping car which left
fecranton, Pa., the other day. No, they
have not planned to take the same trip
next year not in one Pullman.
Original Woodrow Wilson men may
be found on evecy street corner.
.
A city with a future as well as a
past is the Deep Water City of the
Gulf.
Escambia and SantP. Rosa counties
must awaken to the fact that other
West Florida counties are building the
national highway and expect the Es
cambia river to be bridged, as prom
ised. Third terms and third parties sound
like defeat right off the reel.
: N
Fensacola Boy Scouts have gone in
to summer camp out where the In
dians camped in the long ago.
, t
Montgomery continues to send her
usual hundred visitors down to spend
the week-end in Pensacola. Those
Alabamians Just naturally think we
have the only real wash-hole on the
map anyway.
,
Aside from being exceedingly happy
this year, think how much we are to
be thankful for that another Casey
Jones has not appeared to drive us to
the insane asylum.
Snapper fishing is the snappiest
proposition agoln' and the visitors are
enjoying it to the limit.
Governor elect Trammel might give
the Milton Everglades sugar farm
scheme a thorough investigation be
fore he takes up his duties as gov
ernor. The proposition looked mighty
good to The Journal and it had Just
as willingly see Mr. Trammell put it
into effect as to have seen Mr. Milton
do it. Of course a very few of the
convicts are to be used there at first,
but the convicts lease system is to be
abolished sooner or later if a priso:)
farm in the Everglades may be oper
ated to advantage. It behooves Gov
ernor Trammel', to look into the mat
ter at anv rare.
When one complains of having no
friends ask him what he has done to
acquire them.
Jacksonville has never accepted Pen
sacola's challenge to play for the
Florida championship after the South
Atlantic League season closes.
Street paving ie helping wondr
ftiuv the appearance of those sections
of the city which have been unpaved
for years.
St. Andrews boatmen have real
sporting blood in their veins, and, in
cidentally, have boats which glide into
the lead in the speed races.
When Clark's progressive principles
had a slight touch of the reactionary
fever he lost his chances for the nomi
nation. At any rate the "College Widow"
brat the Yama Yama Girl to it.
Colonel Mayes says he saw Cone
Johnson in Baltimore and that Cone's
speech made cold chills run up and
down his back. Cone is the real thing,
and the League is proud of him.
Campaigns of safety should never be
started when the moon is behind the
clouds.
"Dipping cattle is compulsory in
Mississippi" says a headline in an ex
change. In other words all of the
cattle have to be Baptists whether
thev want to or not.
,
The colonel's son said the old man
was "praying for Clark." His prayers
can go no farther than himself he
thinks he is the author and giver of
all things.
. ,
Governor Wilson invites those can
didates he has defeated to come to
see him. He ought to be ashamed to
act so ugly.
.THE BALTIMORE CONVENTION
Washington, D. C, July 4, 1912.
How fatal one mistake sometimes is
to the plans of great enterprises! Had
Champ Clark listened to the appeal of
Wm. J. Bryan, as Woodrow Wilson did,
in 'the matter of-the election of a Pro
gressive Democrat as temporary chair
man of the Baltimore convention,
Clark, and not Wilson, might today be
the Democratic nominee for the presi
dency. Not tht a majority of Demo
crats throughout the country wanted
Clark because they did not but be
cause, having always been regarded as
a Progressive and having in the con
vention a larger number of delegates
than any other candidate, his nomina
tion, except for the" opposition of Mr.
Bryan, must have been the inevitable
result. Mr. Clark i a good and a
great man, but at the crucial time he
failed to measure up to the standard
of present day Democracy as demand
ed by the majority of Democrats every
where and in thus failing he lost the
nomination by a great political party
for the highest -office in the greatest
government in the world.
The Baltimore convention affords
material for many columns of news
paper literature, some of which has
already been written and much of
which will be written before the cam
paign of 1912 is ended. It waa a wear-:
ing time for the delegates and an ex
pensive time as well and I found little
opportunity to write anything for the
readers of The Journal. The excellent
service of the Associated Press, how
ever, covered all of the routine and
important details of the convention,
and I shall only write now a few ran
dom impressions ml the great gather
ing which may be of interest to The
Journal's friends oyer the state. Judge
Griggs and myself spent today, the
Fourth of July, in Washington, visited
Mt. Vernon . in the morning, saw a
burlesque ball game between New York
and Washington this afternoon,. a.nd
have just got in from witnessing the
great fireworks display here tonight.
Tomorrow we shall 'visit the capitol
building and try to see how the senate
and the house do business, and then
we shall leave for home.
1
It became early apparent in the work
of the convention that a deadlock for
the nomination was almost certain.
Clark and Wilson were of course the
favorites though It early developed,
after the temporary chairmanship
fight, that Clark could never secure a
two thirds majority. The nomination
therefore turned on the ability of the
friends of Woodrow Wilson to bring
the convention over to him or on some
dark horse in the person of a candi
date who comIA. harmonize the con
tending interests. Governor Harmon
never had a look-in. He was not in
sympathy with the militant policies
which now control the Democratic
party. Governor Foss and Governor
Marshall were both regarded simply as
dark . horses who had little chance of
landing even though the deadlock pre
vented the nomination of either of tbe
two leading candidates. Mr. Under
wood of course never had the slightest
prospect of nomination and of the 100
delegates, more or less, who continued
to vote for him on 45 ballots I do not'
suppose that ten of them, after they
had looked over the situation at Bal
timore, seriously believed that he
would be nominated. But Underwood
is nevertheless of presidential tim
ber and I believe the future has much
in store for him.
The temporary chairmanship fight,
and the speeches made then and sub
sequently by Mr. -Bryan are respon
sible for the ultimate result. The con
vention was not a Bryan gathering.
The vote on temporary chairman Indi
cated that. Mr. Bryan knew that he
could not be elected chairman. He got
more votes than I expected he would
get His friends among the delegates
were in the minority. But the chair
manship fight, the election of Judge
Parker, discredited and mistrusted as
he was by the party at large, the vic
tory of Tammany and the Reactionary
element when the party itself is Pro
gressive, and the speeches and resolu
tions of Mr. Bryan stirred the Democ
racy of the country as nothing had
done in almost a generation. The re
sult was that the delegates began to
hear from the "folk back home," and
every telegram contained the same de
mand stand by Bryan, repudiate the
Ryan-Murphy-Belmont influence, and
give us a Progressive platform and a
Progressive candidate. That candidate
of course was Woodrow Wilson, be
cause no other man before the conven
tion so dove-tailed Into the situation
and so answered the demand of the
home folks' as did he. In fact, th
"home folks" were not slow to say
that Wilson was the man whom they
Weather conditions being .favorable
the progressive party convention to be
held in Chicago on August 5 ought to
be a hot proposition.
Ought to be mighty little crow left
in the world considering it has been
a diet for thousands during the last
month.
r
The habit of voting for William J.
eery year has at last been broken.
VOX POPULI.
PENSACOLA SHOULD HAVE
A CHARITY HOSPITAL
Editor Pensacola Journal.
I do not Just think or guess, but
know that Pensacola ought to have a
charity hospital. Persons who are only
a little unwell are given medical treat
ment at The Mission, but it cannot
care for the very sick, no nurses, no
attendant physician, etc. Residents of
the several sections of the city, upon
my report of the cases, as well as
wayfarers, are kindly treated by Dr.
Nobles, and orders for medicine given
cheerfully by Mayor Reilly, but they
often should have hospital attention.
Christian end civic reason favors the
laudable proposition. In my opinion,
the city should erect a splendid struc
ture on the shore of our beautiful bay.
the main building for pay patients and
an annex for charity patients, Pensa
cola to owi and operate same. The
exhileratlngr air would be pleasant and
helpful to the patients' and, before long,
they would enjoy looking every day in
the year at 'more ships of commerce
than there i'' race boats and other
boats on the last week. Pensacola
could find no cause better to lend to
the Lord. It would be well for the
city to cast its bread on the water
and thereoy please everybody. Who
would object to this plan? Every citi
zen would consider himself as part and
parcel of the hospital.
MRS. LOR IN DA H. HERR
-
By FRANK L. MAYES.
wanted and the pressure brought to
bear by them finally had the desired
result.
As a matter of fact, had the most of
the delegations not been tied up with
cast iron instructions which if fol
lowed to the end would have prevented
the nomination of anyone Wilson
would have been nominated early ,in
the sessions. Delegates from all sec
tions, talking individually, were frank
to admit, though instructed for some
one else, that Wilson was by all odds
the most desirable candidate and that
he would make the strongest race over
the country at large. It was the te
nacity with which the opposition lead
ers held their men in line that pre
vented Wilson's nomination earlier in
the fight. The Clark forces were nat
urally expected to hold out to the end,
but had the minority candidates, or the
men who had their interests in charge,
cione earlier what they were compelled,
by the force of public opinion, to do
tyter, the expense and work and tur
moil of the prolonged deadlock could
have been avoided. -'
Though feeling sure that the Demo
crats of Florida had been deceived into
making a great mistake by instructing
their delegates for Mr. Underwood as
first choice. Judge Griggs and myself,
the only anti-Underwood candidates
who were elected, kept faith with the
Democracy of Florida and voted for
Mr. Underwood for 36 ballots until it
became apparent that their first choice
couid by no possibility be nominated.
Wa then, believing that the Democrats
cf, Florida were more desirous of par
:ioipating in the nomination of a pres
ident than they were in the mainte
nance of what threatened to be a dis
astrous deadlock, voted for Governor
Wilson as the man whom we believed,
r.ext to Mr. Underwood, was most sat
isfactory to the people of Florida and
who, on the other hand, gave the
greatest promise of Democratic suc
cests in November. The effort of the
other members of the Florida delega
tion to force a unit rule on the Third
district delegates was as futile as it
wasyTidiculous, and Senator O'Gorman,
who was in the chair, promptly ruled
that they had no authority over us or
any other member of the delegation.
As a matter of fact, this was the first
time since the adoption of the primary
system in Florida that any attempt
had ever been made to adopt or en
force a unit rule. There was of course
no authority for it and the chair did
not hesitate a minute in so ruling.
On the -37th ballot Judge Griggs and
myself voted for Wilson, and Governor
Gilchrist followed on the 44th ballot.
On the 46th ballot when Wilson's
nonination became apparent, four
other members, Frank Chase, Dr. Aber
nathy. Hunt Harris and Frank Harris
Joined us, so that on the last ballot
seven ,votes from Florida were cast for
the party nominee. I ara sorry that
the Florida vote could not have been
a solid one on that last ballot. There
were only 84 votes altogether cast
against Wilson on the ballpt which
nominated him and 60 of these came
from Missouri and California. Only
eight states were represented in those
84 votes. As an example of the almost
unanimous good feeling which prevailed
and of the forgiving spirit which ac
tuated most of Governor Wilson's for
mer opponents, Mrs. Anna . B. Pitzer,
Champ Clark's sister-in-law and a
member of the Colorado delegation,
which sat right back of Florida, voted
for Wilson on the 46th ballot. When I
heard Mrs. Pitzer instruct the chair
man ft the Colorado delegation to cast
her vote for Wilson, I could not help
but contrast the generous - spirit of
this fine woman with the action of the
81 men delegates who had deniedASov
ernor Wilson their approval on the
last roll call, even after he had been
nominated.
y
The Mississippi delegation was the
center of a good deal of interest from
the fact that it was strong for Un
derwood and that Governor Brewer,
who was chairman, always announced
the "twenty voted for Oscar Under
wood" in a long drawn-out, sing-song
tone that always raised a laugh,
though it became very faniliar before
the convention closed. Senator-elebt
Jas. K. Vardaman and Senator John
Sharp Williams were both members
of the Mississippi delegation and both
attracted general attention. Mississippi
was instructed for Underwood, but as
the contest dragged on the delegation
threatened on several occasions to
break away and were only held in line
by the pleas of Senator Bankhead and
the insistence of Governor Brewer.
Finally they went into caucus and de
WHEN A CROSS COMES.
Contributed.
When a cross comes to you,
Do not murmur;
That's' not the thing to do.
Bear it bravely.
For God will never send ,
One so heavy
That you will need a friend
To help bear it.
Lift it up quite alone;
Shoulder it on.
Don't stop to sigh and moan
B'cause of its weight.
Bear it its way right now
Without stopping
To soothe and rest your brow.
Then you will find
When you have reached the end '
That you can bear
The cross that God does send.
How's This?
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHEENEY & CO.. Toledo. O.
We, the undersigned, have known K.
J. Cheney for the last 15 years, and be
lieve him perfectly honorable in ail busi
ness transactions ana rnanclaliv able to
carry out any obligations made by his
firm.
WALDING. K1NNAN & MARVIN.
Wholesale Drugelsts. Toledo. O.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mu
cous surfaces of the system. Testi
monials se t free. Price 75 cents per
bottle. Sol.' b all Druggists.
Take Hal a Familv Pills for constipation.
Summer Clearance Sale.
Ladies' and Misses' Dresses. Milli
nery, Skirts and Waists, one-third to one
half off, and still on the easy payment
plan.
Galin, U S. PaJatox.
cided to vote for Wilson, returning to
the hall while the 46th ballot was in
progress.
Governor Gilchrist attracted atten
tion wherever he appeared and he
never failed to put in a good word for
Florida. He was Interviewed by the
reporters, consulted by the convention
leaders, and generally potieed wherever
he went'. On Sunday, afternoon he
nearly created a riot in the lobby of
the Emerson Hotel by the distribution
of a few handfuls of his famous quarter-cent
pieces which the crowd
thought were gold half-dollars. "They
flocked in from the street, the dining
room and the bar and went for the
governor like Texas steers in a stam
pede. It did not, naturally, take him
long to dispose of all the gift-coins
that he possessed.
There were a reat many visitors
from Florida and National Committe
man T. A. Jennings succeeded in get
ting convention tickets for all of them.
To a person who knows nothing of
the difficulty of securing these tickets,
this may seem a small matter, but I
lmow'from observation at four national
conventions that it is a very difficult
and trying thing to satisfactorily han
dle. Jennings, however, is resourceful.
He-not only secured tickets for every
one, but he did more. He got appoint
ment; .fcr numerous Floridians as phy
sicians, pages, door-keepers, assistants
to the sergeant-at-arms, and in other
capacities, and these appointees had
the benefit of everything that anyone
could desire in, the way of seeing the
great show .and participating in the
demonstrations.. As an example "Dr."
John P. Stokes proudly wore the badge
of house pnysiciah while O. W. Parker
bore upon his expansive chest a medal
that gave him authority to arrest any
disturber of the peace who might get
disagreeable In the hall. Mr. Jennings
locked alter the Florida folks in a
way that gave all of them every ad
antage at the convention which the
most favfcred guest enjoyed.
My association with the members o'f
the Florida delegation was pleasant in
the extreme. I found them all fine
fellows. They were a little set in their
political opinions perhaps, but I have
no doubt that they, on the other hand,
found me somewhat set in some of my
opinions, so that we are even on that
score. I would like to Join the same
bunch at President Wilson's inaugura
tion next March and I know that long
before then they will all have become
convinced of the wisdom of his nomi
nation. As a matter of fact, they all
told me that they were going home to
whoop things up for Wilson and I be
lieve them. They are really not half
as Reactionary as they think they are
and before the campaign is over, I ex
pect to nee all of them develop into the
most approved kind of Progressives.
Everyone. I think, is glad to get
away from Baltimore. It is a good
town in some respects, but, like most
great cities, it was never originally in
tended for a' city and it is a long way
from being a modern city now. It
streets are narrow and they have the
poorest pavements in America. Sur
face sewerage in many cases still ex
ists. The buildings are largely of red
brick with red tile roofs and, viewed
from a high elevation, the scene is
dreary and monotonous. They know
also how to fix rates for special occa
sions. Judge Griggs and myself, who
occupied a noiei room logeiner. pain
J 9.00 per day for six days the period
for which we had it contracted. After
.that we got a new rating for- the same
room at 12.50 per day. A shave in
the hotel barber shop cost 25 cents.
After convention week, it cost 15 cents.
Baltimore paid $100,000.00 for the con
vention and she got it back with big
profit before the convention had elect
ed a permanent chairman. We ought
to abolish the national convention, but
if I should have the honor to attend
another one, I don'fwant to go to Bal
timore.
I intended sayirh? something 'about
the nominees, the platform and the
great convention personality, Mr. Bry
an, in this letter, but will have to re
serve that for another article when I
return home. Just now I am busy
chaperoning Cooper Griggs, Emmett
Wilson and John Crawford about
Washington. As soon as possible 1
think the Woodrow Wilson club of
Escambia county ought to tako up an
other collection, hire the band, and
hold a ratification - meeting. We have
a great candidate, the best platform
ever adopted by a political organiza
tion, and a united and enthusiastic
party and the prospects for success
are so bright as to be almost certain.
What more could we ask?
tZERN PROMINENT A
)DEMSr CONVENTION
I v , -- , u
Senator Kern
That the Indiana votes went to Wil
son rather than Clark indicates the
influence of Senator Kern upon the
Indiana delegation. Kern showed -up
as one of the biggest guns at the
Democratic convention.
If you are a housewife' you cannot
reasonably hope to be healthy or beau
tiful by washing dishes, sweeping and
doing housework all day, and crawling
into bed tired at nighL You must get
out into the open air and sunlighL If
you do this every day and keep your
stomach and bowels in good order by
taking Chamberlain's Tablets when
needed, you should become both
healthy and beautiful. For sale by all
n. .y'i " .. m-m
-r I
r
WHEN A LOSS OCCURS
your Insurance Policies are usually ex
amined and criticised fully by an expert
(adjuster). Why not have them Written
by an expert, so they can then stand the
i
test? Costs no more. '
45 years in the Insurance business.
KNOAAfLES E
Brent Building. -Phone 22.
&y ROY K.
From the Hickeyville Clarion.
Three life insurance agents are on
the trail of Hank Purdy, an-S it doesn't
look, as though he is eolng to have
time to do much of his farm work this
summer.
Arise Frisby says one very super
fluous thing in this world to do Is to
allow your wife to take elocution les
sons. He never yet seen a wonian who
wasn't fluent enough Without 'em.
Uncle Ezra Ilarkins went to sleep
back of the stove during the sermon
at the Hardshell church Sunday even
ing and didn't wake up until Mon
day afternoon. Rev. Hanks says if he
tried to wake up all the members of
his congregation after church he
wouldn't get home himself until mid
night, so he lets 'em dream.
The lighting system of Hickeyv'"
was out of. commission last Thursday
nlght. Station Agent Jordan forgot
to get any oil for the switch lights.
Luke Hanks is putting barbed wire
fences all around his place so as his
hired man can't sit down. He expects
to save a lot of money injthat way.
The Hardshell people "are thlnkin
of building a new church. All of th
seats will be back seats, and there will
be a brick wall between the choir and
the congregation. Let the improve
ment go on.
Miss Amy Pringle's new skirt is so
tight that she has to stand up and
eat her meals off'n the manteL -
Constable Ekra Hand is investigatln'
the mysterious disappearance of Anse
Frisby's duck pond, which occurred
one night last week. It is thought
that some culprit who is an enemy of
Anse bored a hole in the bottom of the
pond and let the water all out.
Getting an Accident Policv.
Accident policies will happen in the
best regulated families. The last time
we got one it was a very simple mat
ter. After the physical examination,
which lasted three hours and a half,
we were obliged to fill out a blank
answering the following questions:
Where were you born and, if to, how
much?
"Did your frandfather have fits, and
how many?,' Did he have them fre
quently or only every five minutes or
so?
Do you expect to live until next De
cember, and, if so, what reason have
you for doing so?
. Were you ever killed before, and,
if so, how many times? Please fill
in particulars In each case.
Do you ride in automobiles or dodge
them? This is important.
Do you engage in the pleasant but
perilous occupation of trying to sell
books from house to house on the in-'
stalment plan? This is considered an
extreme risk.
Did your great-grandfather ever
have the tnumps? How many and on
which side; your father's or mother's
side.
Did you ever break your collarbone
or your right forearm trying to but
ton a 16 collar on a 15 shirt? If not,
why not?
Do you bejieve in embalming or cre
mation? Do you use liquor or patent medi
cine? How many times have you had
the D. T.'s? Describe the zoological
display you witnessed each time.
Do you go around looking for trou
ble or do your wife's folks come and
visit you without being invited?
Bromides.
"Honest, Joe. I love you and all
that, but there ain't goin' to be no
n.lKnmln' Irlsa In thi hnilRphold Un-
,tll you stop eatin' them young onions
down to Janes piace on ine wy
home."
'N.'r vv !tif T ain't coin' to run no
risk by gettin' my hair cut too early."
"Why in thunaer am you put inem
thin cummor pan1 nf mine in a closet.
where the moths could eat the bosom
ouWof 'em?"
"Hanks, ain't there nothing that I
kin possibly do or say that will make
you gt Dusy ana lane uvwn v-mi
storm-house? It's a disgrace to the
neighborhood."
Caught on the Fly.
The Pennsylvania man who discov
ered a coal mine in his own cellar
certainly found the right thing in the
right place.
Belgium has loaned China money.
Now that it Is borrowing money.
China acts like a real republic, after
all.
Hearst says Wilson is not a Demo
crat. Hearst ought to know. He per
sonally has been a Democrat several
times.
New York is to have a dressmak
ers' strike. Occasionally there is a
strike that helps poor old Ult Con
sumer.
Plumbing has been declared a sci
ence, but it seems that plumbing pays
almost too well for that.
1
ROS.
Pensacol.
MOULTONI
fly-swatting is splendid exercise. -
A Chicago cab driver has been
nominated for congress. Chicago cab
drivers are among the few who can ,
afford this luxury.
It seems that Dias let go the Mex
ican situation Just about the phycho
loglcal moment. "
The Democratic multseems to be
Champing a good deal these days..
! looks as though between base-,
ball and politic business is going to
get only a lick and a promise this
set) son. - . .
A New York woman has divorced
the same husband twice. She must
be scrt "bf losing "her taste for that
man.
Rhode Island legislator are now en
titled, by law, to passes on ail rail
roads in the state, but then they can't
ride more than twenty minutes with
out being outside tbe state.
DIRECTORY
Dr. Jas. H. Fellows;
DISEASES OF INFANCY AND
CHILDHOOD.
Office 306-304 Brent Bulldlnfl. Phonssi
Office, 817; Residence, 1104.
If It's Drugs Yoti want,
Phone 881.
HANNAH'S PHARMACY
, Quickest Delivery In City. . '
Roberts Auto Supply
HUDSON "33"
ACCESSORIES, REPAIRS
1S East Chase Street. Telephone BM.
DR. C. W. FAIN
Dentist.
Office, 13 Blount Building.
Residence, San Carlos Hotel.
Office Phone, 121J.
Manhattan
Hotel
EUROPEAN
75c, $1.00 and $1.50 '
Southeast Corner Garden ana .
Baylen Streets.
-Ask ths Traveling' Msn."
Imperial Standard Tires v i
are guaranteed 3500 miles, and adjusted
charge. Buy at home.
Imperial Tire and Tube Co.,
, 23 West Government Street.
ESSENKAY
Ends Tire Troubles.
FUSSEY. '
119 S. Baylen St. Phone 18S4.
McAllister's Shoe. Shop
"Let Us Ft 'lm
Work Called for and Delivered. .
Phons 988.
20 E. Garden St.
MAYES PRINTING CO. I
PRINTERS FOR PARTICULAR
PEOPLE.
1719 West Government St - Phone 1M.
T. Q. VAXES. M. 0. '
Optician,
4ttt Blount Building..
Twenty years' experience as an Eva
...1 .11., , - " !
DR. J. B. TILLERj
DENTIST
S10 Blount Building.
Ofn Ptowe 86. elderw PHone 4
SAM CHARLES
Shoes Half-Solad In 15 Minutes.
Called Far and Delivered.
"NUFF 6 ED."
511 South Palaf ox
Then again it is pointed out that