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J ''-4 ' ' - !SJSSl3BS8!Eb8"l 7 7 1 1 'f - t -4 r I S3 1 -f- ADVERTISE IN THE BUGLE $ f 1st 70a got ennythink to sell or swap? Do p3 yea waat to buy nnythink? THEN TRY A AD M WITH US. Biggest and only newspaper in this 1 sad of the Co. M Advertising rates famished with grett cheer. S Sirculishlon books open to nobuddy. f j YOULL HAFT TO TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT ! 3 H 'A -BUG: J Copyright, 1913, by E. A. Grozler DON'T BE A TIDEWAD ! ! H Pay up your back subscription to the j Bugle & thus fill a long-felt want on our Pj part. We Can't Run a First Class News- ilj paper on Hot Air and Cold PotaJoze. Rj P. S. If we mr not in leava th nsneT with ul jfl our wife next door. M I 1 We.'e f! IT V 1 - ITT"; jKt NNITHLR. SPOON GIT'S STQC IC-'I W'"? llat-BV? .XOy'tU HAVE To READ; ABOcTT"' Bt too TWO, PRINT l TO&rTHl.. - - , RtfcO Mow THE. BrroM ' - EATHR3LS PECK, hCASORr ill m j 1 MAJ. L.VVC9 tfCHtWOLf t reft, U3 THtSt fnArY" THE BINGYILLB BOGLE The Leading Paper of the County Bright Breezy, Bellicose, Bustling Bow Aetfc tbs IraBT Bttls ImproT Mch ihlalnf hoar By rmthsrlss boaejr all th d7 From rery opAlot( du. - The chesptst s4vertla!ng medium la ths eennfy. II jou beIiT la sdTwtiains earn and ae oa. For farther Information call en or addrew tl editor. . .. EDDYTORIUL Well, here it i almost - spring again! My goodness, Kow time flies, or in other words "TEMPOUS FUG GIT!" (for the benefit of some of the ignorunter of our subscribers we persoom we ort to explain what "Tempous Fuggit" means it is a lattin fraze and of course the aver age citizen of Bingville couldn't be expeckted to be very familiar with lattin except possibly Jed Peters, our intelligent school-teacher. In other words, "tempous fnggit" means "time flies," and whoever said that knowd what he was talk ing about). 4 , Be that askit may, however, time has not flew as fast this winter as we would like to of had it flew time couldn't never flew too fast to suit Bingville folks in winter time. All through the long winter here we be denned .up in Bingville like a passel of woodchucks, stickin close to the open fire to keep from freez in to deth. . . , No wonder we be gfad to wel come glad spring. It won't be long now until grass will begin to shoot and the little buds begin to bust and the little birds begin to sing fit to bust their blame throats. It won't be long until we shall see the joyous sight of the little lamb kins gambling on the green. Glad nature is about to assert herself af ter being froze up ever sinst last fall she is about to bedeck herself in green raiment, which will seem good to look at after she has been wearing white clothes all winter. . Therefore let us all greet glad soring: with joyous acklaim and thank goodness that we ain't got winter in Bingville all the year round. START IN THIS SPRING RIGHT BY SUBSCRIBING FOR THE BUGLE AND PAYING FOR SAME WITH CASH, STRICTLY IN ADVANCE. - Country 'Correspondence HAPPY VALLEY. Hame Wilson has been "bothered with rats in his oats bin, so he set a steel trap in the bin and next time he went for some oats he forgot all about the trap until it ketched him by t?Ve fingers and he had to holler for his wife to come and take the trap offen him. Hame says he wishes his hand had of been a rat instead, - Mrs. Benj. Gibbs expeckts a add! shion to the family in a week or two, tnebby sooner. Benj says he will open a barl of cider when the happy event takes place. Let us hope it will be soon. Miss Mary Ann -Green, the bell of Happy Valley, was not present at the dance give in this place last Saturday night owing to a sore corn which pre vented Mary from tripping the light f sntastick as she would like to have did. Sam SUlivan has traded off his sort mare for two horses and will engage in teaming. If you have any teaming to do see Sam about it. EXCELSIOR. . ZION .CROSSROADS, The Grim Reaper has not paid us a call in this vicinity for a spell back, but there is no telling who will be the next one to go. bad I Sad ! - - ' Bill Hendricks left the door of his henhouse open one night last week and a fox carried off. five hens." Bui says he wouldn't of minded if the fox had of taken one or two, but he hates like sixty to see a fox make a hog of itself, Considerable snow fell here one night recently and as a result the roads is al most impassable. It wouldn't be a bad idee to get out the snow roller. Lafe Henderson sold a calf last week for $4. He says he ought to of got $5 for it by rights. Miss Huldy Wade, the bell of the Crossroads, ketched a bad cold while out sleigh riding with Sam Sparks re cently. Sam, you ort to of- kept her wanner than that. VERITAS. STUCK! That's Wfiot Happend to Poor Ike Witherspoon ! It Was, a Tur- rible Ordeel He Went Through Full Particklers as Follers SORROW HOLLOW. Melancthon Jones didn't cut any fire wood for a week. ,Mel says its too all fixed cold to cut wood and that he would a sight ruther remain in bed day and night. Moze Hingham says he seen bears tracks in the snow this winter a year ago. None have been saw so far this winter. Widow Henderson is nitting some socks and mitts for sale to whoever needs socks and mitts. f The Widder helps to support, herserf selling socks and mitts. Jnp. Williams dog JJTige" almost caught a fox last week. The dog run the fox all day and nlqht 2fif$nz home tired and hungry JSews are very. scarce in nr this weeK. . UNO. 1 Ike Witherspoon, one of our most respected townsmen, met withTa pecool iar and otherwise horrible experients on Tuesday morning last about 9 a. m. or thereabouts, which he calkilates he will remember to his dyin day or longer if possible, notwithstanding that no bones was broke and he was not injured except bein blame near skeered outen his hide and disfiggered so as his inti mate friends wouldn't have knowed who he was if they had met him under oth er circumstances. For a week or two past Mrs. Wither spon has had a awful lot of trubblc with the open fireplace in the sittin room not drawin as it ort to. The smoke would come out into the room and make Ike and his wife blame near sneez their dod-rotted heads off. Sometimes the smoke cot so thick that it made the tears run outen their eyes and they would have to go out doors and stand there for a breth of fresh air. At last Ike got sick of it and told his wife he was a goin up on the roof some day to take a look 'down the chimbley, being as he thought it must be choked up or sbmethink. - So on Tuesday morning Ike he bor ried a ladder and climbed up on the roof, whereas his wife thort he had went to the P. O. or some place, tak ing a broom with him, and when he got to the chimbley he looked down and saw that some of the bricks and mortar had fell in and lodged and been snowed on, which was why the chimbley didn't draw. So" Ike got inside the chimbley and braced hissclf agin the sides and went to reach down for the obstruckshion, as you might say, and his feet slipped and n&lor4ie inside of the chimbley about 4 5 f eef. w Items Here anif Thsre Doe? Llvermore, our (eminent horse doctor and human specialist has been boiling out some herbs during the past week and bottling them, for future use. Doc now colkilates he has enough med isin on hands to last him until spring unless there is more sickness in our midst than he figgers on. Dame Roomer says that Simon Whit tleby who has lived a batchelor life for lo, these many years is engaged to a handsome widder at tHe Co. seat to who he has been paying attenshion for some time past and that Simon will be wed ded in the not far distant future. Let us trust that this is true. It is not good for man to live alone and Simon is lonesome, and lorn. Hester Whittleby, of Snake Bend, was a guest last week of Mrs. Cyrus Hoskins for about two hours in the afternoon. Hester came to Bingville to do some shopping and just dropped in on Mrs. Hoskins kind of informal like. Come again, Hester. Jed Peters, our intelligent school teacher, informs us that he will be glad to have the parents of his scholars visit the school to see what progress their children are making, if any. Some can even read and write, where he stuck fast, being ua able to git "up or down. He hollered for hejp, and Mrs. Witherspoon, who was a setting in the setting room knitting, heerd his voice coming down the chim bley and not recognizing it as Ike's and b'eing sooperstishious she thortthe house was hanted and run across the street to her nabor's, Mrs. Wilkins, all out of breth and skeered, and said she wouldn't go back home for 10 cts. After a spell Deacon Butterworth past Ike's house and hearing Ike's orful cries of anguish he stopped and Iissened and lookt around and saw the ladder up aginthe house and the broom layin on the robf and put two and two to gether and dim up the ladder and ap proached the chimbley and looked down and was horrified to see Ike s black face staring up at him and hollerin "help !" The deacon didn't recegnize Ike. who had soot all over hisself, and thort he was likely a burglar and grabbed a brick offen the top of the chimbley and was jest a goin to hit Ike on the head with it when Ike yelled to for the laifd's sake not do it or he would break his skull and explained that he was Ike and had fell into the chimbley and got fast and wanted to get out. so allfired bad that he didn't know whot to do. The deacon told Ike to hold on until he could go and get some help, but Ike said he didn't haft to hold on because he was stuck into the chimbley tightern wax, so the deacon clim back down hollerin fire fire fire and the fire dept. responded promptly, and Gabe Tucker, who is cheef, wanted to know wher the fire was at and the deacon told him that Ike was in the chimbley. land Gabe misunderstood him and got a backet of water and dim up the ladder and pourd it down the chimbley on Ike before he could be. stoppt and by this time the deacon had explained hisself, and a clothes line was borroed and throwed up to Gabe, who made it three dubble with a loop on one end and let it down into the chimbley and told Ike to put it under his arms, which Ike done, and then Gabe puld and Ike pusht and betwen em Ike he managed to dim out a sadder, but wiser man, with his face as black as a crow's wing and all soked with worter. Gabe helped Ike down offen the roof and when Ike struck . solid ground he wanted to know who the person was that' throwed that cold worter onto him and nobody spoke, and then Ike swore so turrible that the wimmen around who had children told em to run along home becuz sich langwidge wasn't fit for young ones to lissen to. By this time Ike's, wife had returned home, and when Ike finally convinced her who he was she made him go into the house and warsh up and git some dry clothes on. Ike was down street that same afternoon. He reports that the chimbley smokes worsen ever. Ranse Got Stuck Ranse Smiley, who harbored a sum mer boarder for two weeks last sum mer, got stuck at last and says that he is done keeping boarders. The boarder in question was a genteel appearing chap from the city. Ranse told him he would haft to charge him $3.50 a week for board and bed and he seemed satis fied and told Ranse . that was cheap. Soon as he said that Ranse raised the price to $5, which the boarder agreed to pay. Well, one day the boarder leit on. the stage for a trip to the Co. seat, saying that he would be back that evening, but he never showed up from that day to this, and he hasn t returned as yet, and now Ranse has give him up all together, The only thing he left behind is a old pair of what he called peg-top trou sers. Ranse has nut on these trousers and has ben wearing them with the idea of getting something in return for what the feller et and the wear and tear on his bed. The pants don't fit Ranse very welL .They make turn look a good eal like a bottle bug. ' Bottom Dropped Out One day last week while Hen Weath- ersby, prop, of our genral store, was measuring out half a peck of beans for Iz Watkins, who didn't raise no beans on his place tnis year, planting nis patch ft ground in potatoes instead, Hen had the bottom of his peck mea sure to drop out. spilling the beans all over the store lioor. lien sens ms beans at 25 cts. per peck, but when the bottom dropped out of the measure it made him so mad that he told Iz if he would eo to work and cathev uo the blamed beans offen the floor he might have them for nothink. Iz did so and went home .with his beans rejoicing. Iz says it wuz a turrible stroke of luck that the bottom dropped outen Hen's measure and almost thinks it was provi dential. Hen took the measure to Lem Erown, our expert carpenter, and had Lem put a new bottom into it. Lem used two; inch planking. It was the only thing he had to use in his shop. Lem was" afeard it was too thick, but Hen said it wasn't Hen said he wouldn't make no objections if it was twict as thick. Then Lem seen the point. As a result .Hen's peck measure when full now holds only about half a peck. It is said to be the smallest peck measure in this vicinity. Ilotis to Public I hereby serve notis on that I want you to stop teasing! my son Bud Hinck ley, who ain't quite right in his head, nor never was- I have warned you about this, in the future, but it hasn't CARPET 0 110 PfGOl never done no good, and I now wart, you again for the last time. You think it is smart for you to pes ter Bud jest to see him cut up and act foolish, but you had better stop same or I. will not be responsible for the con sequences. Some of these days Bud will pick up a stone and throw it and injure you and then you will be sorry you done it and it will serve you right. You ought to be ashamed to tease a person who ain't moren half right. If I catch any person plaguing my son Bud I will do something to them. WIDOW HINCKLEY. Bingville. EAtina p! I have made up my mind to do a few odd jobs of carpet beating if 1 can get anything to do in Bingville along this line. I don't mind beating a carpet once in a while becuz then I can rest be- tween bears. But I don't wan a steady job at it. Carpet beating is turrible hard work if you work at it hard enough. As for me, I would ruther workoff and on work one day for instants, and then rest three or four. M J I can keep awful strong by doing this, and I don't go and tire myself out. If you have a carpet you want beated call on me. , I will beat it as hard as anybody; else would beat it at the same price. You naturally want to know what I charge for beating carpets. I don't blame you for this. What I charge for beating a carpet depends al together on the size of the carpet. In bea'ting carpets I always charge by the square yard on each side and then I'm ure of getting what the job is worth. I wiJJ.beat these carpets in your own back yard or if you don't like to have me raise a dust so near,the house I will carry your carpets off and beat them in somebody else's back yard. But I will have to charge extra .for this. 9 As a carpet beater I can't be beat. See me if vou have carnets' to beat. Expert Carps! Beater Bingville.