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The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, March 30, 1913, SECTION THREE, Image 15

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn87062268/1913-03-30/ed-1/seq-15/

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f 1st 70a got ennythink to sell or swap? Do p3
yea waat to buy nnythink? THEN TRY A AD M
WITH US. Biggest and only newspaper in this 1
sad of the Co. M
Advertising rates famished with grett cheer. S
Sirculishlon books open to nobuddy. f j
Copyright, 1913, by E. A. Grozler
Pay up your back subscription to the j
Bugle & thus fill a long-felt want on our Pj
part. We Can't Run a First Class News- ilj
paper on Hot Air and Cold PotaJoze. Rj
P. S. If we mr not in leava th nsneT with ul
jfl our wife next door. M
1 We.'e f!
IT V 1 - ITT";
llat-BV? .XOy'tU HAVE To READ; ABOcTT"'
l TO&rTHl..
- , RtfcO Mow THE. BrroM
ill m j 1
MAJ. L.VVC9 tfCHtWOLf t reft, U3 THtSt fnArY"
The Leading Paper of the County
Bright Breezy, Bellicose, Bustling
Bow Aetfc tbs IraBT Bttls
ImproT Mch ihlalnf hoar
By rmthsrlss boaejr all th d7
From rery opAlot( du. -
The chesptst s4vertla!ng medium la ths
eennfy. II jou beIiT la sdTwtiains earn
and ae oa. For farther Information call
en or addrew tl editor. . ..
Well, here it i almost - spring
My goodness, Kow time flies, or
in other words "TEMPOUS FUG
GIT!" (for the benefit of some of
the ignorunter of our subscribers
we persoom we ort to explain what
"Tempous Fuggit" means it is a
lattin fraze and of course the aver
age citizen of Bingville couldn't be
expeckted to be very familiar with
lattin except possibly Jed Peters,
our intelligent school-teacher. In
other words, "tempous fnggit"
means "time flies," and whoever
said that knowd what he was talk
ing about). 4 ,
Be that askit may, however, time
has not flew as fast this winter as
we would like to of had it flew
time couldn't never flew too fast to
suit Bingville folks in winter time.
All through the long winter here we
be denned .up in Bingville like a
passel of woodchucks, stickin close
to the open fire to keep from freez
in to deth. . . ,
No wonder we be gfad to wel
come glad spring. It won't be long
now until grass will begin to shoot
and the little buds begin to bust and
the little birds begin to sing fit to
bust their blame throats.
It won't be long until we shall see
the joyous sight of the little lamb
kins gambling on the green. Glad
nature is about to assert herself af
ter being froze up ever sinst last
fall she is about to bedeck herself
in green raiment, which will seem
good to look at after she has been
wearing white clothes all winter.
. Therefore let us all greet glad
soring: with joyous acklaim and
thank goodness that we ain't got
winter in Bingville all the year
- Country 'Correspondence
Hame Wilson has been "bothered with
rats in his oats bin, so he set a steel
trap in the bin and next time he went
for some oats he forgot all about the
trap until it ketched him by t?Ve fingers
and he had to holler for his wife to
come and take the trap offen him.
Hame says he wishes his hand had of
been a rat instead, -
Mrs. Benj. Gibbs expeckts a add!
shion to the family in a week or two,
tnebby sooner. Benj says he will open
a barl of cider when the happy event
takes place. Let us hope it will be
Miss Mary Ann -Green, the bell of
Happy Valley, was not present at the
dance give in this place last Saturday
night owing to a sore corn which pre
vented Mary from tripping the light
f sntastick as she would like to have
Sam SUlivan has traded off his sort
mare for two horses and will engage in
teaming. If you have any teaming to
do see Sam about it. EXCELSIOR.
The Grim Reaper has not paid us a
call in this vicinity for a spell back, but
there is no telling who will be the next
one to go. bad I Sad ! - - '
Bill Hendricks left the door of his
henhouse open one night last week and
a fox carried off. five hens." Bui says
he wouldn't of minded if the fox had
of taken one or two, but he hates like
sixty to see a fox make a hog of itself,
Considerable snow fell here one night
recently and as a result the roads is al
most impassable. It wouldn't be a bad
idee to get out the snow roller.
Lafe Henderson sold a calf last week
for $4. He says he ought to of got $5
for it by rights.
Miss Huldy Wade, the bell of the
Crossroads, ketched a bad cold while
out sleigh riding with Sam Sparks re
cently. Sam, you ort to of- kept her
wanner than that. VERITAS.
That's Wfiot Happend to Poor Ike
Witherspoon ! It Was, a Tur-
rible Ordeel He Went Through
Full Particklers as Follers
Melancthon Jones didn't cut any fire
wood for a week. ,Mel says its too all
fixed cold to cut wood and that he
would a sight ruther remain in bed day
and night.
Moze Hingham says he seen bears
tracks in the snow this winter a year
ago. None have been saw so far this
Widow Henderson is nitting some
socks and mitts for sale to whoever
needs socks and mitts. f The Widder
helps to support, herserf selling socks
and mitts.
Jnp. Williams dog JJTige" almost
caught a fox last week. The dog run
the fox all day and nlqht 2fif$nz
home tired and hungry
JSews are very. scarce in nr
this weeK. . UNO.
Ike Witherspoon, one of our most
respected townsmen, met withTa pecool
iar and otherwise horrible experients
on Tuesday morning last about 9 a. m.
or thereabouts, which he calkilates he
will remember to his dyin day or longer
if possible, notwithstanding that no
bones was broke and he was not injured
except bein blame near skeered outen
his hide and disfiggered so as his inti
mate friends wouldn't have knowed who
he was if they had met him under oth
er circumstances.
For a week or two past Mrs. Wither
spon has had a awful lot of trubblc
with the open fireplace in the sittin room
not drawin as it ort to. The smoke
would come out into the room and make
Ike and his wife blame near sneez
their dod-rotted heads off. Sometimes
the smoke cot so thick that it made the
tears run outen their eyes and they
would have to go out doors and stand
there for a breth of fresh air. At last
Ike got sick of it and told his wife he
was a goin up on the roof some day to
take a look 'down the chimbley, being as
he thought it must be choked up or
- So on Tuesday morning Ike he bor
ried a ladder and climbed up on the
roof, whereas his wife thort he had
went to the P. O. or some place, tak
ing a broom with him, and when he got
to the chimbley he looked down and
saw that some of the bricks and mortar
had fell in and lodged and been snowed
on, which was why the chimbley didn't
So" Ike got inside the chimbley and
braced hissclf agin the sides and went
to reach down for the obstruckshion, as
you might say, and his feet slipped and
n&lor4ie inside of the chimbley about
4 5 f eef. w
Items Here anif Thsre
Doe? Llvermore, our (eminent horse
doctor and human specialist has been
boiling out some herbs during the past
week and bottling them, for future use.
Doc now colkilates he has enough med
isin on hands to last him until spring
unless there is more sickness in our
midst than he figgers on.
Dame Roomer says that Simon Whit
tleby who has lived a batchelor life for
lo, these many years is engaged to a
handsome widder at tHe Co. seat to who
he has been paying attenshion for some
time past and that Simon will be wed
ded in the not far distant future. Let
us trust that this is true. It is not good
for man to live alone and Simon is
lonesome, and lorn.
Hester Whittleby, of Snake Bend,
was a guest last week of Mrs. Cyrus
Hoskins for about two hours in the
afternoon. Hester came to Bingville
to do some shopping and just dropped
in on Mrs. Hoskins kind of informal
like. Come again, Hester.
Jed Peters, our intelligent school
teacher, informs us that he will be glad
to have the parents of his scholars visit
the school to see what progress their
children are making, if any. Some can
even read and write,
where he stuck fast, being ua
able to git "up or down. He hollered for
hejp, and Mrs. Witherspoon, who was
a setting in the setting room knitting,
heerd his voice coming down the chim
bley and not recognizing it as Ike's and
b'eing sooperstishious she thortthe
house was hanted and run across the
street to her nabor's, Mrs. Wilkins, all
out of breth and skeered, and said she
wouldn't go back home for 10 cts.
After a spell Deacon Butterworth
past Ike's house and hearing Ike's orful
cries of anguish he stopped and Iissened
and lookt around and saw the ladder
up aginthe house and the broom layin
on the robf and put two and two to
gether and dim up the ladder and ap
proached the chimbley and looked down
and was horrified to see Ike s black face
staring up at him and hollerin "help !"
The deacon didn't recegnize Ike. who
had soot all over hisself, and thort he
was likely a burglar and grabbed a
brick offen the top of the chimbley and
was jest a goin to hit Ike on the head
with it when Ike yelled to for the laifd's
sake not do it or he would break his
skull and explained that he was Ike
and had fell into the chimbley and got
fast and wanted to get out. so allfired
bad that he didn't know whot to do.
The deacon told Ike to hold on until
he could go and get some help, but Ike
said he didn't haft to hold on because
he was stuck into the chimbley tightern
wax, so the deacon clim back down
hollerin fire fire fire and the fire
dept. responded promptly, and Gabe
Tucker, who is cheef, wanted to know
wher the fire was at and the deacon
told him that Ike was in the chimbley.
land Gabe misunderstood him and got a
backet of water and dim up the ladder
and pourd it down the chimbley on Ike
before he could be. stoppt and by this
time the deacon had explained hisself,
and a clothes line was borroed and
throwed up to Gabe, who made it three
dubble with a loop on one end and let
it down into the chimbley and told Ike
to put it under his arms, which Ike done,
and then Gabe puld and Ike pusht and
betwen em Ike he managed to dim
out a sadder, but wiser man, with his
face as black as a crow's wing and all
soked with worter.
Gabe helped Ike down offen the roof
and when Ike struck . solid ground he
wanted to know who the person was
that' throwed that cold worter onto him
and nobody spoke, and then Ike swore
so turrible that the wimmen around
who had children told em to run along
home becuz sich langwidge wasn't fit
for young ones to lissen to.
By this time Ike's, wife had returned
home, and when Ike finally convinced
her who he was she made him go into
the house and warsh up and git some
dry clothes on. Ike was down street
that same afternoon. He reports that
the chimbley smokes worsen ever.
Ranse Got Stuck
Ranse Smiley, who harbored a sum
mer boarder for two weeks last sum
mer, got stuck at last and says that he
is done keeping boarders. The boarder
in question was a genteel appearing
chap from the city. Ranse told him he
would haft to charge him $3.50 a week
for board and bed and he seemed satis
fied and told Ranse . that was cheap.
Soon as he said that Ranse raised the
price to $5, which the boarder agreed to
Well, one day the boarder leit on. the
stage for a trip to the Co. seat, saying
that he would be back that evening, but
he never showed up from that day to
this, and he hasn t returned as yet, and
now Ranse has give him up all together,
The only thing he left behind is a old
pair of what he called peg-top trou
sers. Ranse has nut on these trousers
and has ben wearing them with the idea
of getting something in return for what
the feller et and the wear and tear on
his bed. The pants don't fit Ranse very
welL .They make turn look a good eal
like a bottle bug.
' Bottom Dropped Out
One day last week while Hen Weath-
ersby, prop, of our genral store, was
measuring out half a peck of beans for
Iz Watkins, who didn't raise no beans
on his place tnis year, planting nis
patch ft ground in potatoes instead,
Hen had the bottom of his peck mea
sure to drop out. spilling the beans all
over the store lioor. lien sens ms
beans at 25 cts. per peck, but when the
bottom dropped out of the measure it
made him so mad that he told Iz if he
would eo to work and cathev uo the
blamed beans offen the floor he might
have them for nothink. Iz did so and
went home .with his beans rejoicing. Iz
says it wuz a turrible stroke of luck
that the bottom dropped outen Hen's
measure and almost thinks it was provi
dential. Hen took the measure to Lem Erown,
our expert carpenter, and had Lem put
a new bottom into it. Lem used two;
inch planking. It was the only thing
he had to use in his shop. Lem was"
afeard it was too thick, but Hen said it
wasn't Hen said he wouldn't make no
objections if it was twict as thick. Then
Lem seen the point. As a result .Hen's
peck measure when full now holds only
about half a peck. It is said to be the
smallest peck measure in this vicinity.
Ilotis to Public
I hereby serve notis on that I want
you to stop teasing! my son Bud Hinck
ley, who ain't quite right in his head,
nor never was- I have warned you
about this, in the future, but it hasn't
110 PfGOl
never done no good, and I now wart,
you again for the last time.
You think it is smart for you to pes
ter Bud jest to see him cut up and act
foolish, but you had better stop same or
I. will not be responsible for the con
sequences. Some of these days Bud will pick up
a stone and throw it and injure you
and then you will be sorry you done it
and it will serve you right.
You ought to be ashamed to tease a
person who ain't moren half right. If I
catch any person plaguing my son Bud
I will do something to them.
I have made up my mind to do a
few odd jobs of carpet beating if 1
can get anything to do in Bingville
along this line. I don't mind
beating a carpet once in a
while becuz then I can rest be-
tween bears. But I don't wan a
steady job at it. Carpet beating is
turrible hard work if you work at it
hard enough. As for me, I would
ruther workoff and on work one
day for instants, and then rest
three or four. M J
I can keep awful strong by doing
this, and I don't go and tire myself
out. If you have a carpet you
want beated call on me. ,
I will beat it as hard as anybody;
else would beat it at the same price.
You naturally want to know what I
charge for beating carpets. I don't
blame you for this. What I charge
for beating a carpet depends al
together on the size of the carpet.
In bea'ting carpets I always charge
by the square yard on each side and
then I'm ure of getting what
the job is worth. I wiJJ.beat these
carpets in your own back yard or if
you don't like to have me raise a
dust so near,the house I will carry
your carpets off and beat them
in somebody else's back yard.
But I will have to charge extra
.for this.
As a carpet beater I can't be
beat. See me if vou have carnets'
to beat.
Expert Carps! Beater

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